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Where in the hell did the summer go? It is hard to believe that I am sitting here writing the September Letter from the Editor already. It does not seem right. It seems like the snow and ice just cleared and then bam….summer is over and we are going into autumn at light speed. Time flies even faster the older you get, and this is my month of aging as I turn 45 on the 23rd. I suppose that will make the winter fly by and get to the 2017 riding season even faster? Probably not, but I can keep my wishful thinking. Not to say that September is the month to start hibernation, not at all actually, as there are plenty of things going on all over the state. Bike nights are still happening on a weekly and/or monthly basis. Events for the year are winding down but not extinct as of yet. This issue will be out before the last weekend in August so gotta mention some things here. August 27th brings a ton of things to do in many different parts of the state including but not limited to Jami Jam V: Ride For Mental Health Action & Awareness up in Terril (just south of Okoboji), AHeinz 57 8th Annual Ruff is in Adel, Ride Your Ass Off for the Donkeys Run is leaving out of LHHD in Pacific Junction, Kyle’s Mile Suicide Prevention/Awareness Ride #3 is lining up at Metro HD in Cedar Rapids, Joni’s Roast and Ride is going on in Des Moines, and the 4th Annual Ride to Live 4 Gibbie Suicide Prevention Ride is happening in Boone. Then we get into September and Labor Day weekend. September 1st-4th is the Redneck Revival in Conesville, September 2nd-4th is the Midway Tavern Soldier Valley Run BBQ, Street Dance in downtown Soldier, the 2nd-5th is the B.A.C.A. Legacy

On the Cover Brad Butler’s new Indian Chieftain graces the cover with the lovely Zabrina and Rachel. Brad’s New Ride on the cover and Ron’s Old Indian is on the calendar page. Locked and Loaded Outfitters had her holding a Marlin 45-70 Lever Gun, but Rachel is no stranger to handling big weapons, as she works in a gun shop. Locked and Loaded is doing a Benefit Steak Feed at the September 15th Roar Into Harlan Bike Night. Proceeds from the Steak Feed will go to Helping Homeless Veterans. Look for Locked and Loaded Outfitters on Facebook for more info. 4 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

Run out of Adel, and the 3rd English River Outfitters is doing Shooting for HEROES in Anita. The rest of the month brings a lot of other events as well. Look at the back of the magazine for both the TRMI Bike Night Listing and the TRMI Event Listing. Don’t put that bike away yet, there are plenty of good riding days left! September is the month of Labor Day, the first Monday in September which this year is the 5th. Labor Day is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. Established in 1894, it has been a long standing holiday to celebrate the workers and the labor that has made America great. We raise our glass to you if you are an American worker! Thanks to you for being a part of what makes this country great! Thanks for not abusing the system and being a drain on society and choosing NOT to work and sucking off the government for no reason. If you are an American worker, hopefully you can have some time over Labor Day weekend to do something that you want to do to celebrate the holiday. Labor Day weekend is also generally viewed as the end of summer, so make it count and enjoy it! One of the big issues with society today seems to be a shear and utter lack of manners and respect for others. People get so drawn into their own little worlds that they seem to forget the basics of being polite. It always used to be common practice to greet someone when you encounter them, at least saying hello, saying please and thank you, and respecting that others may have an opinion that is different than our own. There does not seem to be anything that exacerbates this worse than a major election. People seem to be more on the rude side, disrespectful side, and flat out asshole side. Please try to rise above the shit storm, respect others with differing opinions, and just be nice. Don’t let political mudslinging sink into your soul and take away what should be a normal level of manners and respect. Play nice with others, and don’t be a shithead! Ride safe and enjoy the season! Vernon and Melanie Quote of the Month: “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” Thomas Jefferson

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CMA Notes

Much as we would love to be able to spend our summers with our faces in the wind, sometimes there’s work that just has to be done. On this sad occasion, my siblings and I stood looking around the basement. My sister had been working off-and-on trying to get our parents’ house ready to sell. She had spent a lot of time re-doing the main floor since that’s the first thing everyone sees when they walk into a house, but now it was time to tackle the area that needed the most work. In the utility room, the old metal shower had rusted beyond usefulness. The paneling in the family room had been installed when “Gilligan’s Island” held a Prime Time TV spot and the carpet wasn’t much better: think “Happy Days” era. One of the window wells in the office had stopped draining away from the house and as a result turned into an aquarium every time it rained.

I was glad the problems were mostly cosmetic rather than something worse. One of my friends had a lovely, finished basement – right up until it flooded with storm runoff 3 times in the 4 years she has lived there. She went through the huge process of tearing out and replacing drywall and flooring, re-painting, installing a sump pump, etc., only to have it happen again. And again. Turns out all the neighbors had installed 2 sump pumps and 2 back-up sump pumps. It doesn’t take a background in construction to figure out that the builder of that subdivision cut some very important corners to keep his project from stalling out. I wonder how long the foundations of the houses in that area will be able to hold out against the constantly saturated ground before they buckle and bow from the pressure.

area I want to deal with. It’s so much easier to try to dress up the “main floor” of life that everyone sees , and whether that means keeping our bodies looking fit or our clothing choices up to date, or whether it means always having the latest toy or the best job , we all do it. But sooner or later, the basement door of the past calls to each of us. One corner of my basement has a crack where old insecurities from my childhood spill out. In another corner are some braces holding a wall that buckled from painful events during my teenage years. Wedged on top of supporting pillars are regrets over many decisions I made during those years of tumult. And, it seems like the older I get, the more the walls threaten to bow in under the continual pressures from life around me. How can a person possibly deal with all this? It’s no wonder we trudge back up the stairs, leaving the foundation to take care of itself. The Lord God never planned for us to take care of this alone. First, just as a contractor can raise a house in order to work on the foundations or even pour a whole new basement, Ephesians 2: 19-22 tells us that God intends to build us into a home for Himself, using Christ Jesus as the new foundation stone upon which our crooked, chipped edges will rest. Next, we can count on this from Romans 15:13: “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him.” If we trust our Contractor, God, He will make sure we are full of joy and peace on the inside so we can be protected from the outside pressures that threaten to bow in our walls. As God’s repair work continues in my own life, I find that my basement is less a place to avoid and more a place of thankfulness to the Lord for His past mercy to me. I encourage you to call on Him so you, too, have a source of hope for your future. Blessings – Karla Mark and Karla Cornick are Area Reps for the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org. CMA Iowa held its State Rally at the Webster County Fair Grounds in late July. A special shout-out to Dick “Slider” Gilmore for his great presentation on Saturday night and to ABATE District 25 for planning and running the bike games for us. The two events made a special day for all who attended!

Thanks to Adam and Eve’s choice to cut corners and rebel against God, we all have faulty foundations. I don’t know about you, but the “basement” of my life is usually the last 6 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

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Food and Drink

C&C Custom Cycle 130 E Lincoln Chariton, Iowa 50049 641-774-7494 www.cc-cycle.com

R/J Performance HWY 63 North Ottumwa, Iowa 52501 641.684.8400 www.rjperformance.com

Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com

Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net

Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400 fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com

Uptown Motors Sales, Inc 310 Cleveland St Muscatine, IA 52761 563-263-2944 www.uptownmotorsales.com

Ernie’s Harley-Davidson 2613 Hwy 18 East Algona, IA 50511 515-295-7951 www.erniesharley.com

Whipp Sales and Service, Inc 701 S 8th Street Clarinda, Iowa 51632 1.800.477.0195 www.whippsalesandserv.com

Fenders Cycle and Motorsport 1500 E Army Post Road Des Moines, Iowa 50315 515-256-9062 www.fenderscycle.com

Wiebler’s Harley-Davidson 55320 Corporate Park Drive 53 Davenport, IA 52807 563-355-6437 www.wieblers.com

Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook 319-241-0916

Fenders Honda 100 South 16th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 info@fendershonda.com 515-233-4727

Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com

Leather & Hawgs 316 Main, Hornick, Iowa 121 1st St, Soldier, Iowa leather@wiatel.net www.leatherandhawgs.com

Heartland Harley-Davidson 117 S. Roosevelt Ave Burlington, Iowa 52601 www.heartlandhd.com 319-754-1100

Entertainment

Bill’s Boat Landing Clayton, Iowa 563-964-2112 Check Us Out on Facebook Where the River is Calling & You Must Go!

Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30

Bootleggers of Millville Awesome Stop, Great Staff, Fantastic Food Tops in Scenic River Rides Check us on Facebook 563-252-7775

Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) Specializing in Weddings & Receptions

Buck Snort 113 4th Street Neola, Iowa 51559 712-485-9090 The Buck Snort on Facebook

National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org

Buck Snort 310 Dr Van Zee Road Oakland, Iowa 51560 712-355-5315

The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com REGISTRATION/CHECK-IN SITE FOR THE TALL CORN RUN S CHECK-IN SITE FOR THE TALL CORN RUN

Biker Accessories CoolBikerStuff.com 1606 P Avenue Milford, Iowa 51351 877-816-2200 Follow us on Facebook!!

Churches Rebels In His Hands 600 16th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa Mark and Lora Schiller Pastors 712-329-9901

Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des D Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Brenny’s Motorcycle Clinic 4426 State Street Bettendorf, IA 52722 (563)359-7222 www.BRENNYS.com

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Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-622-4000 loesshillshd.com McGrath Dubuque Harley-Davidson 145 N Crescent Rdg Dubuque, IA 52003 563-557-3735 www.dubuqueharley-davidson.com McGrath Hawkeye Harley-Davidson 120 Westcor Drive Coralville, IA 52241 319- 545.7495 www.hawkeyehd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW C Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Okoboji Harley-Davidson 1005 Eastview Avenue Okoboji IA, 51355 712-332-7700 www.erniesharley.com

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Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-802

Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigosfortdodge.com Bailey’s Pub -N- Grub 918 E Euclid Ave Des Moines 515-266-6560 Mon-Sat 6am-2am Sun 8am-12am Home Cooked Food Barney’s 203 S Mill Street Wadena, Iowa 52169 563-774-2525 Barney’s Wadena on Facebook Baxa’s Sutliff Store & Tavern 55546 130th Street NE Lisbon 319-624-2204 Cold C Beer, Delicious Food, Good Music & Great Times! Beach Pub Along Highway 22, Buffalo,IA Open Daily 10am-2am Join Us Weekly For HomeCooked Sunday Breakfast

C&L Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, IA 51557 712-646-2300 or 712-216-0975 Hours Daily 11-close Captain’s Table Moline, Illinois 4801 River Drive 309-736-9188 Live music Sundays 5-9pm Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com

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Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings

Knickers Saloon 2186 Central Avenue Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-557-0887 5 56 365 Days a Year Knickers Saloon on Facebook

Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com

The Lounge 1005 Chatburn Ave Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-5050 The Lounge Harlan Iowa on Facebook

Dirty Ernies 201 1st Street NE Farley, Iowa 563-744-4653 Ride your Harley to Farley!

Knuckleheads Anamosa, IA 319-462-2724 Like on FB Knuckleheads Pub & Grub Open M-F 11-2, S-S 10-2 The Knucklehead Burger “Git IT IN YA”

Sambetti’s Bar and Grill 1430 2nd Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50314 515-245-9780 Mon-Sat 11a-2a, Sun 11a-7p

The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S Noon-2a Find Us On Facebook

Durango Depot 736 Burtons Furnace Road Open 3 to close Best Scenic Road With the Best Food! 563-552-2291

Lampe’s Pub 608 Iowa Avenue Dunlap, Iowa 51529 712-643-5781 Open 7 days a week at 11 AM

Scooters on Broadway 475 NE Broadway Des Moines, Iowa 515-288-1053 scootersonbroadway@hotmail.com

The Roadhouse 105 Washington Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2272 Home of the Marne Burger

Ferg’s Bar & Grill 806 Hwy 30 Grand Junction, Iowa 50107 515-738-5416 Where Good Friends Meet

Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com

Screaming Eagle American Bar & Grill 228 East 4th Street Waterloo, Iowa 50703 319-235-8865 www.partyattheeagle.com

The Sawmill Bar & Grill Now with a Full Menu 401 Main St New Market, IA 51646-3079 712-585-3601

Fro’s Pub ‘N Grub 309 Cedar St, Wilton 563-732-3977 Fro’s Pub n Grub on Facebook A Surprise Around Every Corner

Minden Bowl Café & Lounge 209 Broadway Street Minden, Iowa 51553 712-483-2937 Minden Bowl on Facebook

Shooters Bar 661 Main Anita, Iowa 712-249-7370 Mon-Fri 3:00-Close Sat-Sun 10:00-Close

Thirsty’s on 3rd 2202 W 3rd, Davenport 563-424-1143 Follow Us on Facebook Daily Thirst Quenching Deals

Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook

Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165

Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534

T.J.’s Pourhouse 100 E. Washington Street Exira, Iowa 50076 712-268-2353 Open M-SAT.@11, SUN.@ NOON

Mudders in Minburn Coldest Beer in Dallas County Bar Food-Wings-Pizza-ETC 515-897-9223 Open M-Sun 11AM Facebook Mudders

Sparetime Bar & Grill 136 West Main Street Ute, Iowa 61060 712-885-2226

Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Mon-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Hawkeye Bar & Grill 110 North 4th Street Mapleton, IA 51034 712-882-1226 Mon-Sat 10:30 a.m. ~ Sun 12:00 p.m. Hog Stop BBQ 2327 S. 24th Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-EAT-BBQS Hog Stop BBQ on Facebook Iron Saddle Saloon 39 S Main Street Dayton, Iowa 50530 515-547-3311 J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper Jerrys 100 W Washington Exira, Iowa 50076 Jerrys Exira on Facebook “The Party Lives On” Just 1 More 515-570-4206 403 3rd Ave Under the Water Tower Jamaica, Iowa

Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015

Sportsters Bar & Grill 109 S Madison Newell, Iowa 50568 712-272-4034 11 AM – 2 AM Tues-Sat

Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!

Sportsman Bar & Grill 103 1st Street Pisgah, Iowa 51564 712-456-2222 FOOD, FUEL, FUN

Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill

1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PM-

Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook

Pizza Ranch DENISON 510 HWY 39 North Denison, Iowa 712-393-3333 Check Us Out on Facebook Open 7 Days a Week

Suds –N- Jugs Bar & Grill 807 Iowa Avenue Onawa, Iowa 51040 712-433-4880 Nightly Food Specials

Pizza Ranch HARLAN 613 Court Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2262 Check Us Out on Facebook Open 7 Days a Week Red Oak Tap 419 E. Reed Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-623-4788

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The Back Forty 317 Main St. Macedonia, Iowa 51549 712-486-2687 facebook.com/thebackforty

Tobey Jacks Mineola Steak House Mineola, Iowa 712-526-2078 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us Out on Facebook Uncle Harley’s Bar & Grill 202 W Mayne, Blue Grass (563)381-1717 Great Pizza & Food Bikers ALWAYS Welcome Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 3, Sat 10, Sun 3 Whitetails Bar & Grill 101 N. Main St. Marble Rock IA,50653 641-397-9900 Mon.- Sat. 7am breakfast -2am Close www.whitetailsbarandgrill.com Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395 Woody’s Roadside Tavern 100 West Jefferson Albion, Iowa 50005 (641) 488-2220 Woody’s Roadside Tavern on Facebook

The Home Plate Diner 304 E. 30th Street Des Moines, Iowa 50317 515-262-7000

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Shops & Fabricators

Guns and Ammo

Photo and Art

2A Firearms Training Training to Protect Your 2nd Ammendment Rights 641-439-6660 Craig.2aft@gmail.com

Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com

Locked and Loaded Outfitters 612 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-4867 www.LockedandLoadedOutfitters.com

Services

Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768

A+ Affordable Heat, Air, Refrigeration & Geo Thermal 22274 Old Lincoln Hwy Crescent, Iowa 51526 712-329-9901

Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278

BCS Computers 100 Industrial Road Guthrie Center, Iowa 50115 641-747-3344 www.brubakercomputer.com

Creative Concepts Collision 422 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712.755.2231

McCunn Specialty Firearms 74980 Richland Road Massena, Iowa 50853 www.mccunnsguns.com 712-779-GUNS Pistol Pete’s Guns and Ammo Eldora, Iowa 641-858-6878 pistolpetesgunsandammo@gmail.com DISCOUNTS for ABATE Members Eric Ross & Steve Eggleston

I n s u r a nc e

Bent Wrench Cycles 911 7th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2453 Bent Wrench Cycles on Facebook

Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954

CJ Now Plumbing Sewer & Water Specialists 309-786-2002 Serving the Quad Cities Area On Call 24-7

F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, M Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com

Matt McCall Insurance Agency State Farm Insurance 102 East South St, Tipton 563-886-6120 www.mattmccall.net

Hoker Trucking NOW HIRING Dixon, Iowa Hokertucking.com 563-843-2763

Oakland Insurance Agency Motorcycle, Home, AUTO, Commercial, Life, Health Specializing in Teen Drivers Shane Baker 712-310-7475 shane@oaklandins.com

Irwin Locker & Catering 502 Ann Street Irwin, Iowa 51446 712-782-3215 irwinlocker@gmail.com

Hyperformance 5152 E University Ave Pleasant Hill, Iowa 50327 515-266-6381 kingofcubes.com

Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook

Machine Shop 6821 Fleur Drive Des Moines, Iowa 50321 515-285-4332 RIDE SAFE

Southwest Iowa Sandblasting Mike Magers 65162 Oxford Rd Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-249-3995

Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM

Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com IowaBikerLawyers.com Leehey Olson Law, PC Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452

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Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220

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Pike Run Services 320 Main Nichols, Iowa 52766 Shop 319-723-4244 Cell 319-330-4541 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook SS Collision, CycleWorks & Graphics 2902 11th Ave SW Spencer, Iowa 51301 712-262-3959 www.sscollision.com Steffens Cycle Shop LLC 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3076M-F 9-5 Most Sat 9-12 Or Call

Tattoo Skin Mechanix INKorpar8ted 117 No. 16th Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712 256-2847 Check Us Out on Facebook To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com

Vape The Fog Zone Vape Store 420 Chestnut Street Atlantic, Iowa, 50025 Facebook.com/fogzonestore 712-243-4024

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99 Counties to tour on the bike, 99 counties to tour, take one down, drive on around, 24 counties to tour on the bike. A few years back, a summer riding goal was to ride through each one of the counties of Iowa, and what was found was a wealth of interest and beauty. Each month we will revisit each county as a featured article. We will tell you about new things to see, places to ride, and give you a little spark of touring curiosity for our state of Iowa. Pocahontas County Pocahontas County is a county located in the northern half of Iowa just a smidge west of central, and occupies 579 square miles of our great state. The population is just over 7,000 people with the county seat residing in the city of Pocahontas. The county was formed in 1851 and named after the famous Native American princess from Jamestown, Virginia, a colossal statue of her stands in the city. There are several cities in the county of Pocahontas, the first on our list being Fonda. Fonda was originally called Marvin, but residents realized that Marvin was too similar to Manson when the mail began being mixed up, so in 1874 town officials changed it to Fonda because the next town with that name was Fonda, New York. The city has a total area of just over 1 square mile. Fonda is located at the western edge of the Des Moines Lobe, the most recently glaciated section of Iowa. Wetlands, glacial erratic’s, concentric bands of ridges, and large flat areas characterize the land surrounding Fonda. In its natural state, the land is poorly drained, and

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just four miles northwest of town, Sunken Grove Wildlife Management Area maintains some of these large undrained wetlands. The area is home to large populations of migrating birds and permanent populations of wildlife; the remainder of the area surrounding Fonda is agricultural. Next we came upon Gilmore City. Gilmore City was platted in 1884, not long after the railroad had been built through the territory. Gilmore City was originally known as Blooming Prairie, but this burg changed its name as well in the early 1880s. The city was named for C. N. Gilmore, the Superintendent of the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad and the community was incorporated on April 16, 1887. Gilmore City has a total area of 1.25 square miles, all of it land. It contains just one neighborhood, Stein’s Rockin R Mobile Home Park. Gilmore City is also home to Lizard Lake, a mere 2 miles west on Highway 3 from Gilmore City, 5 1/2 miles south on 320th Ave. Mid-April through midOctober you can utilize the park’s 67 acres for camping and hunting, there are even showers on site. We next passed through Laurens. Laurens has a population of approximately 1,300 people. Laurens was settled in 1881, and named in honor of Henry and John Laurens a father and son team who were patriotic and loyal to the Colonial cause throughout the duration of the Revolution. The city occupies a mere square quarter mile of Pocahontas County.

Next we happened upon the City of Pocahontas. Pocahontas is the county seat and is home to 1,800 residents…including our good friends Jonathan and Laura Williams who were gracious enough to help us seek out the good stuff in their stomping grounds. Thanks guys! This city was named after the Native American princess, Pocahontas, and was incorporated on May 16, 1892. While in town you can check out the huge statue and teepee honoring her in front of an attractive mural on the east end of town where she waits to welcome all visitors. Located on North Main Street is the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa owa wa on on Facebook Face Fa c bo ce book ok www.thunderroadsiowa.com


Kaleidoscope Factory, where inside you will find a small man, who looks a lot like the gnome on his awning, who makes the coolest kaleidoscopes you’ve ever seen. Be sure to swing by if you get the chance. If you venture just a bit further down North Main, you will run smack into The Zone. The Zone is Pocahontas’s answer to where locals and weary travelers alike can go to drink, grab a bite to eat, watch your favorite sporting event, or even try your hand at knockin’ down some pins at the bowling alley. If the excitement of The Zone isn’t what you’re looking for, there is yet another option to wet your whistle or grab some vittles on Main Street… Ike’s Bar is within walking distance, and is also connected to the Home Plate Grill. You can have your dinner in the bar or simply walk through the swinging doors to the quieter side to enjoy your meal. Rolfe was next on the tour and was named after the Englishman John Rolfe who married Pocahontas in Jamestown, Virginia. Rolfe was platted in 1881 at the junction of two railroads. The city has a total area of only 1 mile. The population of Rolfe is just under 600 people. Rolfe is also home to Dan Allen’s rocking horse. It was once a Clydesdale, but is now painted pink to support breast cancer awareness. There were a few other s small towns s scattered b between o stops our in Pocahontas County, but if you’re hoping fo libations or fuel along the way, you won’t for fi them there. The communities have a few find r residential structures, but little in the way of c commercial offerings. We enjoyed looking into P Pocahontas County, and next month we will c continue our travels through our great state when w take a look at the booming metropolis that is we P Polk County. M Melanie J Schwarte M Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com S Sources available upon request Thun Th under unde un d r Ro de Road Roads adss Magazine ad Maga Ma g ziine ga ne of of Io Iowa o on Facebook

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Every so often you see or hear things that just make a person shake their head in disbelief. Sometimes it is something that we ourselves have done or said that after the dust settles seems at best, lame. Most of the time when you do or see something like this, a person just moves on, but sometimes it is something so incredibly off key that you need to vent about it. Here is a monthly RANT, strictly my opinion, and strictly for entertainment purposes. If you do see something here that makes you wake up, see things in a different light, or learn to deal with something better, more power to you! This month I want to rant about some of the stupid things we do as drivers of cages. Specifically I want to chat about the center line of the highway. You know, that broken, or solid line you see that runs down the middle of the road. Problem is, either some drivers don’t see it, or don’t care that it even exists. This yellow border is what is supposed to keep “them” on their side, and “you” on your side of the roadway. In a perfect world, this simple yellow line, and a little bit of paying attention would be all that is needed to keep people on the road safe. Now that I live way out here in the sticks, I’m forced to endure a 20 mile commute, twice a day. Early morning is a really nice time to drive or ride, but come 5 pm, that changes drastically. People are tired or frustrated by things that happened at work, personally, or whatever and it seems to change their moods and their driving habits; these diversions from the task of driving cause distractions that can be at the least dangerous, and at the worst deadly. I’d like to share a few examples of these distracted drivers that I’ve seen while riding the back roads of Iowa.

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Pickups pulling trailers: I was following such a setup, and the rig had stopped waiting to make a left turn on to a gravel road. The oncoming vehicle was also a pickup pulling a trailer. As the oncoming vehicle passed the one in front of me, he swerved into my lane. I had to take extreme evasive action to avoid being hit. If you can’t control what it is you’re driving, park it. You can’t fix stupid. Not one mile later, I encountered a minivan, completely in my lane. As the pucker factor went to 10, trying to figure out where I was going to go, I began to wonder if I had a target on my fairing. Turns out the driver of the minivan was looking at the crops. Not all distractions are electronic in nature, but can be just as deadly. You can’t fix stupid. I take this issue with the centerline personally. My wife was sideswiped by someone who had fallen asleep and crossed the line. She was completely off on the shoulder, with nowhere else to go, when he hit her. Fortunately she was in her car. All because someone needed some more sleep. Make sure you’re good to go before you climb behind the wheel of that 5,000 pound machine and go hurtling down the road at 60 mph. You can’t fix stupid. To put a wrap on this month’s rant, I don’t claim to be the best driver out there. I’m far from it. I’ve made my mistakes. I notice a lot more bad habits from behind the fairing of my bagger, than I do behind the wheel of my truck. I have a lot of brothers and sisters who I’d like to keep as my brothers and sisters; whether they are on bikes, in their cars, walking, driving a golf cart, or whatever. I’d like to keep em. I’m sure everyone reading this has the same idea. Remember, there’s ignorant, and there’s stupid. Being ignorant is simply the lack of knowing. It can be fixed. But, You Can’t Fix Stupid!!!!! Gary Emery, aka Wildman firefighter200463@hotmail.com

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Rachel and Zabrina are hanging out in front of Locked and Loaded Outfitters in Harlan, Iowa with a pair of old faithful 1911 style .45 pistols. They are posing with Ron’s 1946 Indian Chief that he has owned since 1969. The bike has stayed original and never got chopped, despite the norm back in those days. Locked and Loaded wants to invite everyone to Harlan on September 15th for Roar Into Harlan Bike Night. Nate and crew are hosting a benefit Steak Feed for Homeless Veterans. Join in on the fun, have a great steak, and help out some Veterans!


Charlene Schaefer Wiezorek 2012 HD Dyna Switchback Dubuque Jody Karns 2004 Harley-Davidson Dyna Lowrider Monroe

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This month for our Military Rider page we wanted to share with you an organization called Jason’s Box based in the Quad Cities. We were made aware of this entity earlier this year by Eddie Sanchez when he emailed some event submissions to us. Jason’s Box is a not for profit 501(c)3 organization founded by Gold Star Mother Teri Johnson after her son, CPL Jason G Pautsch was Killed In Action on April 10th, 2009 in Mosul, Iraq. We did some checking into their organization and thought it would be a great addition to the magazine and to share a great resource for support of the troops. Their mission is simple, to improve the health and wellbeing of our Military Men and Women. That is a ppretty y broad mission statement, ment, but they back it up with many different erent programs to benefit those that are or have served this great United ted States of America.

One such program is the Battle Buddy Program. Service rvice Members returning from the rigors of war face serious monumental challenges. Jason’s Box offers a resource navigation support program for troops in transition. Founded upon the same principles as the military’s itary’s Core Values and Warrior Ethos, the Battle id confidential, fid i l Buddy program provides immediate access and referral to a vast network of community and regional support. In this current age with Soldiers returning from war, and dealing with issues of what they saw and had to do, and trying to integrate into the civilian world, the program is geared toward helping the Soldiers do just that. A Battle Buddy assists with reintegration on behalf of the veteran. This person is an established Veteran who has faced similar challenges. They help the Veteran navigate the many resources available and sort out what will serve them the best. They can help with employment options, financial considerations, educational needs, and health care coverage and treatments. On top of these higher level assistance modes, some other small level things that the Battle Buddy helps with are resume writing, college mentoring, job searches, online training and resources, and utilization of the GI Bill that the Soldiers have earned. 32 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

Another area of benefit to deployed Soldiers is that Jason’s Box sends custom care package at no charge to any military person who is deployed and requests one. The box will include whatever they might miss from home. It is the Soldier’s choice what they put in the box. If the box isn’t full, they will fill it up! This service is open to all branches of the military. For a number of years Jason’s Box has been sponsoring hunts under their Warrior Health and Recreation program. With the help of donors and volunteers wounded veterans, using specialty equipment such as a track chair,, are able to hunt and enjoy various outdoor activities. T This year, Jason’s Box will sponsor the F Fall Hunt 2016 to combat wounde wounded Active Duty Service Members. Th They are currently in the process of selecting three Service Members Me from Brooke Army Medical Me Center (BAMC) located at Joint Base San Antonio (JBSA). The Service Members will be picked up by a private jet in San Antonio and brought into Davenport; here they w will be greeted by the Patriot Gua Guard and escorted to their hotel. Then the fun starts, with an aggres aggressive OPTEMPO, they will take the acti active duty Soldiers on several hunting trip trips around Iowa with a number of activities embedded into the schedule. The five day hunt ends with a meet and greet party at the Grand Lobby of the Putman Museum in Davenport. At the end of the excursion, they fly them back to JBSA private jet with their entire quarry. Needless to say, these efforts require an enormous amount of energy, time and money to sponsor. If you would like to donate to this worthy mission, donations are to be made online at www.jasonsbox.com or mailed to Jason’s Box, P.O. Box 194, Moline, IL 612760194. If you would like additional information please contact John Gallagher @ 563.343.6027 or email to jmgallagher@mshci.com. Jason’s Box can be found online at jasonsbox.com or JASON’S BOX, for our Troops on Facebook.

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“Living the Dream” has been rolling around in my warped mind a lot lately. As I look back on the last month of riding there are certain moments that my sick mind may have actually experienced this phrase that I have heard so many riders bragging about. We all know that bikers take their food just about as serious as their riding so maybe “Living the Dream” is all about meeting up with a group of friends at Al’s Oasis after a full day of riding to consume “The Bull”. That’s 16 ounces of slow roasted delicious prime rib with all the fixings. Nothing cures sunburn and a tired ass like a table full of friends and a gut stuffed beyond misery. Or maybe “Living the Dream” is that moment when you realize that the entire group of riders has been strategically placed in the back corner of the restaurant. As far away from civilized people as possible, because it is obvious that this is really a group of psychos and they don’t care who knows it. “Living the Dream” could be surviving a turning, twisty ride through a thirty degree temperature drop which is immediately followed by a skin tingling storm of sleet. All the while knowing our purpose and destination is for nothing more than to view a carved rock formation. The four faces of our countries greatest leaders; now permanently stoned. Then again maybe the only voice in the entire group that was truly “Living the Dream” came from the smallest, daintiest, female rider in the entire pack. Who bravely notified the big bearded tattooed guys that all their moaning and groaning about their sleet induced facial pain qualified them as a bunch of pussies. It is possible that “Living the Dream” could be as simple as pulling into a small Wyoming town, population fifteen! To discover that the only public pooper was a wooden outhouse, which contained thousands of flies and an overwhelming stench that could only be truly appreciated on a 95 degree day. As the crew took turns leaving their donations

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in the hole, it was discovered that the entire town is for sale. It is over priced at 1.5 million and even if everyone in the pack sold their testicles we were still coming short. But the dreams of turning that one hole haven into an outstanding Biker Town once a year for a week, will bring endless belly laughs to a group of bikers for a long time to come. It could be that “Living the Dream” is nothing more complicated than the camaraderie of the group as we sat around a table filled with drinks, cigars burning in the ashtray while we shared stories about the people we encountered, the roads we traveled, the near misses we survived that day and the town we are dreaming of buying. All the while calling each other filthy names and threatening violence over a dollar ante dice game. The winner will walk away with the cash and the nickname “Mayor” of our dream town, named “Poke a Hot Hole” for the sole purpose of teeshirt sales. “Living the Dream” could be making your buddy pay up on the hundred dollar bill he offered earlier in the day to any rider that leaves Custer Park with a tail hair from a buffalo. Only to confess several hours and cocktails later that the hair he bought had been pulled out of your own ass, all the while knowing that it truly came from your beard. Maybe “Living the Dream” is really nothing more than walking away from reality in order to spend a week with a group of friends old, new and life long. To do nothing more than hang out on Main Street; admire the skin, tattoos and peculiar rides. A whole week doing what we love, eating, drinking, laughing and riding! Then again “Living the Dream” could be making it home alive from one of the biggest biker bashes in the USA with another year’s supply of tee-shirts and bragging rights about no one going to jail. “Living the Dream” Shifty LaRue

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From: June 1950 Motorcyclist

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If you’ve ever picked up a also why I get to be an official Natanic’s Pinup calendar Natanic’s Pinup fluffer… Sorry you’ll notice a different fellas the position is filled! bike and Midwestern I personally know a good babe for every month. portion of the babes in the You might think “man calendar, so often times that would be a sweet I’ll tag along to assist job, lucky s.o.b.” (Which with wardrobe, posing, he is) but I don’t think set scenes, or even just people consider all entertaining purposes. I the variables, time, usually have some idea to communication, throw out too. Sometimes forethought, and just they’ll try my idea and plain work it takes to sometimes they don’t, but make a decent calendar. that’s okay, cause he has Nate has to find the right to put up with me either babe for the bike with way cause I fluff for free! THE right look and the Or, sometimes maybe just perfect scene to go with. a beer. I like to lend a hand when I can sometimes It is also fun for me to too... I enjoy getting all frequently attend bike dolled up and finding an and car shows as a promo outfit that puts off a sexy model for the Natanic’s vintage feel. It’s like a fun booth. I enjoy the good challenge for me. The conversations with Nate’s outfit must match these plethora of biker friends requirements: and hearing about vintage or their adventures. vintage I also don’t mind inspired, seeing all the coordinate classic bikes, with the bike, cars, and custom and shows motors one bit. off my best Heck, I even assets! Now drive my own there are 1956 Plymouth, models and (bright pink of there’s me, course) so I can I’m a union talk shop with the construction guys too! Which laborer, is yet another and I’ll do reason why I love whatever it to model for the takes to get an awesome shot. If that means standing Natanic’s Pinup up on the seat like Indian Larry or laying on gravel calendar. He in lingerie I’m gonna do it. In fact I have done it! Now finds some really Nate didn’t ask me to do those things, but because great classics and I’m also a photographer on the side, I guess I kinda customs. This is know what it takes to get the shot. I want to leave why you should his photo observers in awe! If he told me to lay in a get yourself a puddle of mud next to a bike cause it looks hot, I’d do Natanic’s a Pinup it! I mean, he’d do that for me right?! calendar! Grab it now at www.Lyfebehindbars.com I enjoy modeling for Nate because he is my friend Yours truly, and has given me advice or an ear to vent to The 2017 Natanic’s Pinups cover model Jenna Sue whenever I’ve needed. I don’t mind riding in his creeper van on a Saturday (for the third time in a row) waiting on a train to go by for that perfect shot. We just have bro talk and catch up. Sometimes we even have a Potosi (beer that is) or two. I strive to be a low maintenance model. I like to think that because I’m a photographer, I know how to pose and go for the look he is going for. I feel we have a special kind of magic when we work together. That’s Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

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You only get one pair

and gotten blasted by kernels of dried corn, This month I think it’s important to talk about protecting your eyes while riding. There is no law in Iowa, other than you’ll the law of common sense that says you have to do anything know what to protect your eyes while riding. But the “common sense” I’m talking about. of it is you’d be a fool to ride without eye protection. Yet That shit virtually every time I ride, I see somebody go blasting straight up past with no eye cover, squinting into the wind as they try hurts. June to look tough. I personally can’t imagine what is gained bugs are by riding bare-eyed maybe somebody can enlighten me some day. I work with a guy that lost an eyeball to a simple nature’s bungee cord. I know he’d give anything to get that eye back, way of but he won’t ever get that chance. Why would you chance it ruining your day when you don’t have to? too those big blobs You only get two good eyes. Your eyes are actually fairly tough, up to a point. But past that point (which motorcycle of wings and bug riding takes us to) they are just another body part that can be injured. Here’s a quick run-down of how eye injuries are juice are riding around in a body that’s about equivalent to hitting a lug nut in mid-air. If simply putting on a pair of described in a medical journal: riding glasses can keep one of these flying dinosaurs out of your eye, why wouldn’t you do it? Most cuts (lacerations) around the eyes affect the eyelids rather than the eyeball. Of those that affect the eyeball, Now on to another topic that’s front and center with many many are superficial and minor. However, some cuts go riders- texting and driving. There is a new product out there through the white of the eye (sclera) or the transparent which actually makes it impossible to text and drive- it’s dome on the front surface of the eye (cornea), penetrating the eye’s interior. Such cuts are considered a rupture of the called Text Buster, and it’s made by a company here in the states called Rostra Precision Controls. It’s designed eyeball (globe). The globe also can be ruptured by a blunt force. Such lacerations can seriously damage the structures for fleet use, as in company cars and trucks. The user has to have the Bluetooth function of their smart phone on to necessary for vision. They also predispose to infection make this system work. The system is smart enough to send within the eye. Most people with a ruptured globe can a message to the owners of the vehicle if the user turns the barely see. The eye is often obviously distorted, and the pupil may be shaped like a teardrop. Sometimes fluid leaks Bluetooth off. The system still allows the phone to make and receive phone calls, and the navigation function of the out of the eye. user’s phone still also works. Considering this system relies If that doesn’t curl up your toes, I guess you’re not going to on the user to activate the Bluetooth, it’s a long way from perfect. In other words, only the company you work for, or be persuaded to cover your eyes when riding. I personally don’t wear a helmet. The pros and cons of wearing a helmet your parents, could make this an enforceable system. But so can be the topic of another column, but today we’re talking what, it’s a start right? Hats off to Rostra Industries down in North Carolina. I’m a big fan of U.S. Industry, and it’s a about eyes, and I won’t ride a motorcycle, day or night, proud day that a domestic company can invent something in without a pair of ANSI spec, impact resistant eyeglasses the electronics world that has the potential to save so many or goggles. I have a really nice pair of auto-darkening lives. I’m sure there will be imported knock-offs available motorcycle glasses that I got from the Motor Company. soon too, that’s how things work these days. Regardless, Because they auto-darken, I can leave the house in broad since the billboards, TV ads and other public service daylight, and ride right past sun down and into the night campaigns aren’t doing much to curb texting and driving, with the same pair of glasses on. I’m pleased to see that technology is moving in a direction that will protect more riders from the dangers of distracted But some of you will say “Hey, I’ve got a windshield, drivers. I don’t need those”. Well, from personal experience, a windshield is not foolproof. I was riding my Heritage on I17 Have a great ride; keep your eyes on the road, and behind a south of Flagstaff one day, and I got hit in the forehead by good pair of lenses. Until next montha rock that almost took me off the bike. I had a windshield on at the time, as well as impact glasses. Had that same rock been an inch lower, I would have surely had permanent eye Mark Mullins, President, MAG damage. Arizona actually has an either-or law, meaning you have to either wear eye protection or have a windshield. In this case, I’m just very happy I had done both. In my opinion, the fewer laws there are that are targeted at motorcycles, the better. But voluntary compliance and common sense go a long way toward preventing such laws. Iowa has its own share of airborne objects that can ruin your eye. If you’ve ever followed a grain truck too closely 40 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

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AWESOME!!!! What I look for in a tenderloin is the flavor, not the size (it is impressive if you pound out your pork loin and make it 3 to 4 times the size of your bun but if it’s so thin you can hold it up and see light through it... Well, you may have missed the point!!!). This tenderloin was at least a half inch thick and breaded and cooked to massive awesomeness!!!! 114 Brick Street SE It did hang a little over the homemade Bondurant, IA 50035 bun it was delivered on but that definitely 515-967-2220 wasn’t a problem! I www.thebrickstreetmarket. had the baked beans for a side and I also com added potato salad. DO NOT MISS THESE Mon - Thurs: 6am-9pm, Fri & Sat: 6amBAKED BEANS!!!! 10pm (I’m sorry, did I yell that????) These are “Butler’s cafe was founded in 1946, serving the type usually only the Bondurant area with delicious homemade found in BBQ joints! dishes. Many of the Butler family are still in Chunks of bacon, Bondurant today, and some are even working sweet but not too at the Brick Street Market. We name our Cafe sweet, perfect!!!! in their honor, and we are even using a few There are different of their original recipes.” (*excerpt from the kinds of potato salad Butler Cafe menu) This month Lynnette made they offer; the one I the pick of reviews. The Butler Cafe was introhad was the deviled duced to her by a colleague as a lunch stop egg type. These are during a work day. The Butler Cafe resides very good and worth inside The Brick Street Market as a tribute trying out! I know to the family that has done so much to make now we have to go Bondurant the city it is today. The night we back so I can try checked it out we arrived about 7pm and the some of the others!!!! place was PACKED! We soon discovered why! You know if you offer As we were waiting in line for a seat an associme homemade pie ate of mine tapped me on my shoulder, I had that I’m going to no idea he worked there!!! It was nice to have take you up on it!!!! some inside information. His recommendaOh, and they had tions made our choices from the massive menu blueberry... With ice much simpler (Thanks Bryan!). We didn’t wait cream... To quote the very long before a table was cleaned, set and Kool-Aid man “OH YEAH!!!” Make sure and leave room ready for us to be seated. Amanda was our waitress and for some of their desert or at least take some home for she took very good care of us, always cheerful and help- later! ful! We started out with beverages and placed an order for their highly recommended onion rings. After a brief The motto of the original Butler Cafe: “We are large perusal of the menu we both decided to go with Bryan’s enough to serve you, and small enough to know you,” recommendations. Lynnette chose their famous Reuben. I’m sure it was true then but I’m here to tell you it is defiI chose the award winning Tenderloin (2014 Iowa Pork nitely true today! Producers - #2 in the State, #1 in DSM Metro). Our onion rings arrived first (ordering early paid off BIG TIME!), Until next month, Ride Safe and Eat Hearty! the rings are delicious and if you like a little spice in your life order the spicy ranch dipping sauce to go with Craig Little them! Lynnette’s Ruben was enormous!!!! I don’t think craig@thunderroadsiowa.com I’ve seen that much corned beef in any one place before!!!! The rye bread was grilled to perfection and the PS: If you know someplace you think we should check sandwich had a generous application of sauerkraut. Her out in your neck of the woods, shoot me an email side was mashed potatoes and gravy, oh man, they were Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 42 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

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A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. “Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily. “Gold of course”, says the man proudly. Thee wife responds wryly, “Why don’t you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came am me second for a change.” As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust himhe’s done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

wass pleased wa pleeasse and went back to bed with a smile on his pl face fa face. ce.. S ce Several e weeks later, the little boy was walking ppa past asst the bathroom and was shocked to discover his h mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.” It’s I 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his ddate, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue’s father aanswers the door and invites him in. He aas asks s Bobby what they’re planning to do on tth the he date. Bobby politely responds that they’ll pprobably pr r just go to the malt shop or to a drivein movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.” Bobby is shocked. “Excuse me, sir?” “Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.” Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, and dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!” ground floor and says, “What the f–k is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!” The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!” A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, hour and a half.” The guy left. The barber turned to his 44 - TRMI SEPTEMBER 2016

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friend and said, “Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.” A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, “So, where does he go when he leaves?” Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “Your house!” As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!” Little Johnny’s Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,” said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. “Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!” Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.

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Aug 26 Aug 26-28 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 27 Aug 31 Sep 1-3 Sep 1-4 Sep 2-4 Sep 2-5 Sep 3 Sep 3 Sep 4 Sep 4 Sep 4 Sep 9-10 Sep 9-11 Sep 10 Sep 10 Sep 10 Sep 10 Sep 11 Sep 11 Sep 11 Sep 11 Sep 16-17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 17 Sep 18 Sep 23-25 Sep 21-24 Sep 24 Sep 24 Sep 24 Sep 24 Sep 24-25 Sep 25 Oct 1

Black Tie Black Leather Affair Okoboji Classic Cars ABATE D2 River to River Run Jami Jam V: Ride For Mental Health Action & Awareness Terril AHeinz 57 8th Annual Ruff Ride Adel Ride Your Ass Off for the Donkeys Run LHHD Pacific Junction Kyle’s Mile Suicide Prevention/Awareness Ride #3 Metro HD Cedar Rapids Joni’s Roast and Ride Des Moines 4th Annual Ride to Live 4 Gibbie Suicide Prevention Ride Boone Sons of the Tama American Legion Bike Night Tama Make-A-Wish Cruise for Kids Waterloo Kevin Luczycki Memorial Run Dedham Kayla Jones Memorial Ride Fort Dodge New 2017 Model Party Metro Cedar Rapids 45th Davenport Fall International Meet Redneck Revival Conesville Midway Tavern Soldier Valley Run BBQ, Street Dance Soldier B.A.C.A. Legacy Run Adel Shooting for HEROES Anita Madrid Labor Day Fun Run to Benefit Muscular Dystrophy Biker Bash Lake Park Vintage Motorcycle/Snowmobile Auction Earlham ABATE 2016 Remembrance Ride Algona Davis Motorcycle Rally New Hampton Rustemberfest Pacific Junction TJ’s Pourhouse Riesgaard Memorial Poker Run Exira 13th Annual Sidecar Rally National Motorcycle Museum Anamosa 4th Annual Ride for U of IA Children’s Hospital Davenport CVMA Chapter 39-1 Freedom Rock Ride Des Moines Hill Climb and Swap Meet Anamosa Hogs for Dogs Ride Ottumwa Adams Cycles Poker Run Nevada Matt Stoll Memorial Ride Johnston Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Drags Conesville Wohlhutter Fight to Ride Benefit Harlan The Hunt of a Lifetime Buffalo ABATE D15 Leaf Run Davenport Route 65 Harley-Davidson BBQ & Open House Indianola “Rock & Rollie” Benefit Ride Onawa 5th Annual Sydney’s Wish Fun Run Altoona 4th Annual Breast & Ovarian Cancer Awareness Ride Cedar Rapids Concourse de Cornfield Antique Motorcycle Show Earlham 4th Annual Dubuque Ink & Art Expo Bikes Blues & BBQ Fayetteville, AR Carroll Cycle Center New Model Open House Carroll 10th Annual Cedar County Heroes Memorial Ride/Poker Run Tipton 26th Annual Fall Open House Wiebler’s HD Davenport 2nd Cruise Night Heartland H-D Burlington Riverside Raceway Flat Track Races & Motorcross Winterset R/J Performance Fun Days in Eddyville Ride For Mario Metro Harley-Davidson Cedar Rapids

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Oct 1 Oct 2 Oct 2 Oct 8 Oct 8 Oct 9 Oct 15 Oct 15 Oct 15 Oct 15-16 Oct 22 Nov 11-12 Nov 18 Nov 25 Nov 25 Dec 10 Dec 17

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Hell On Wheels Vintage Chopper Show Donnellson ABATE D15 32nd Annual Toy Run w/USMC Reserves Davenport Carroll Cycle Center Toy Run Carroll Fall Open House Heartland H-D Burlington 3rd Waypoint Gentleman Ride Cedar Rapids Carroll Cycle Center Fall Harvest Ride Carroll Tall Corn Run End of Year Prize Drawing Okoboji HD Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Drags Conesville ABATE D15 Harvest Run Davenport Riverside Raceway Flat Track & Motorcross Races Winterset Hog Roast Metro Cedar Rapids ABATE of Iowa STEAM Marshalltown Carroll Cycle Center Ladies Night Out Carroll Carroll Cycle Center Mens Night Out Carroll Black Friday Metro Cedar Rapids Santa Visits Metro Cedar Rapids Holiday Open House Big Barn Des Moines

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Tuesday Fenders Cycle Des Moines (2nd and 4th May-Sept) Whistling Donkey Woodward (2nd & 4th Apr-Aug) Johnny’s Pub Lake Park Desperado’s Bar and Grill Wheatland

Wednesday The Buck Snort Neola Cadillac Jack’s Baxter Slaby’s Plainview Amigos Fort Dodge 2nd Ave Des Moines (2nd Wed May-September) Thirsty’s on 3rd Davenport OP Clear Lake Ride’s Bar & Grill Ft Dodge Greencastle Tavern Mingo The Pour House, Davenport Harley Corin’s Bettendorf Gravy’s Bar and Grill Davenport

Thursday Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays) Mainstreet Bar , Terrill Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-August) Screaming Eagle Bar & Grill Waterloo Baxa’s Sutliff Store & Tavern (1st Thurs Start April) The Back 40 Macedonia (May-August) Barney’s Wadena (May-Labor Day) Des Moines Vintage Bike Night (1st Thurs May-Sep) Mcgrath Hawkeye HD (1st Thursday May-August) McGrath Dubuque H-D (2nd Thursday May-August) McGrath Powersports (Last Thursday May-August) Crossroads Kelley (Every Other Thursday) Tip Top Ames (Every Other Thursday) Spartans Pub Davenport Ottumwa Main Street Bike Night(3rd Thurs Jun-Sep) Calvin Rockett Bar and Grill Marshalltown (Last Thursday May-Sep) Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook

Friday Fro’s Wilton (Starting in May) Knoxville Bike Night Knoxville (1st Friday) Bike Down to I-Town Indianola (3rd Friday) Woody’s Roadside Tavern Albion (Last Friday) TJ’s Pour House Exira (2nd Friday of the Month) Centerville Bike Nights (4th Friday of the Month) MX Revival Mitchellville (1st Fri June-September) Monroe Bike Night (4th Friday May-Aug) Thunder Nites Newton-2nd Friday May – September Ames Main Street (4th Friday May-September)

Saturday Avenue of the Saints St. Charles (3rd Saturday)

Sunday Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May) Haverhill Social Club Haverhill (3rd Sunday) This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com www.thunderroadsiowa.com

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Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa September 2016  

Iowa's Biker Magazine. About Iowa, For Iowa, From Iowa

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