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It is certainly amazing at how things hing hi hing ngss ca can an change. How in one year our entire ntir nt ire wo w world rlld can be turned upside down and th things hin ings ggss are not what many of us want them hheem em to o be? I have never had trouble before efoorree finding tires for my motorcycle or vehicles. I have never seen an ooi oil il and oil filter shortage. I have never seen the price of gas skyrocket so quickly and out of control. I have never seen the inflation rate spike faster than is has in the hhee past year. I have never feared th tha that hat at ammunition for our guns would d bbee for one, so terribly expensive, or o two, so damned hard to find if at all. I never would have thought that there would be hundreds of freight ships off the left and right coasts loaded with goods that American consumers want, but for whatever reason, they are not able to dock and unload, or get shipped to retail locations across the land. I would have never thought that food would be in short supply, and that rationing is right around the corner. I would have never thought that glass bottles would be in short supply. I would have never guessed that the Federal Government would be so brazenly overpowering that they would want to know about every single bank transaction over $600. I would have never thought that so many people in the America that I grew up in and love, could be so vehemently in opposition to one another on some of the most difficult, and mundane topics. I used to think that we could all come together and be united once again, but as more time goes by, I feel that is simply not an option. There are too many people that are diametrically opposed to such an extent that wounds will never heal. Not quite to the Hatfield and McCoy type of situation, but we are on the edge of falling over that line in a hurry. I would say that we need to be civil, but make sure you know who will and who won’t have your back if the proverbial substance hits the fan. Be prepared, plan for and take care of yourself and your loved ones, and hopefully freedom will again prevail in the USA.
On the Cover
Have you ever seen the bottom side of a motorcycle? How about a 1200 Harley Sportster? I have, seen the bottom of many two wheeled bikes, and even quite a few Sportsters, but never one that was flying through the air! Now I have thanks to Edwards Motorsports and Scotty Scrub Miller at the season finale of Bikes on the Hundred Block in Council Bluffs. He swapped out a dirt digger for a Sporty to do a jump and even a trick. Watch out next season for what is bigger and better from Edwards! 4 - TRMI NOVEMBER 2021
On another note, November brings with it the Veterans Day Holiday. This day of celebration is for those that have served and has been a National Holiday since 1926. Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa would like to extend a heart felt thank you to those that have signed on the line to protect our freedoms. Without the sacrifice of our Veterans, our world would be a grossly different place. Eternal thanks to those that have worn a United States Military uniform. We are always looking for events to get on to our Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa event listing page. It is printed every month in the back of the magazine, and I also post it on Facebook on the first part of every week. Without people knowing what is going on and where, they cannot get to the events. This time of year, the event list is slim with riding season screeching to a halt, but that means we are already looking to the next year to get events down so that people can plan for time off and travel. If you are part of, or know of any CONFIRMED events, please email vernon@thunderoadsiowa. com and I will get them added to the list. I need the date of the event, the name of the event, and the starting location town. We try to keep the most comprehensive list possible but need your help to get as many events as possible in Iowa on the events list. Thanks in advance for your help. We would also like to say thanks tons to the readers that keep perusing the pages every month, as well as the advertisers in the magazine. All of you keep this thing going month in and month out and we greatly appreciate the support. Please darken the door of our advertisers in the magazine and let them know you saw them in Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa. About Iowa, For Iowa, From Iowa. Ride Safe. Vernon Quote of the Month: “Giving up is not the answer. Neither is giving in. Stand your ground. There is a way of doing that without having to be combative. There is a way of hanging on to your true self, and demonstrating it, without resorting to aggression. But giving up and giving in is not the way. Simply and quietly claiming your right to be You is the way.” Neale Donald Walsch
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I’m sure that most everyone would agree that, Tempus Fugit. Wait, what? Did he spill his coffee in his lap while writing or maybe that darned dog jumped on the keyboard again? No, even though some of my articles might improve if the dog would help, the term Tempus Fugit is a Latin phrase meaning “Time Flies”. One example of its use was found on an ancient stone engraving beneath a picture of an hourglass with wings. Or for a more modern example, many will remember the song most of us heard every day on the television: “Like sands through an hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives”. Think that pretty much sums up the ride season of 2021. Yep, time change, darkness and cold is ready to jump on us faster than a sneeze through a screen door or maybe even than the CCP virus through a second grader’s mask. Karla and I were recently cogitating and lamenting these things when the Facebook post of the mirror and windshield appeared, you know the one that talks about the reason rearview mirrors are small and windshields are big is that we should be spending the majority of our time looking forward and not backwards. While there is a lot of truth to the idea that we should be positive and have hope for the future, it struck me that in many ways today we have lost appreciation for what is behind us. Seems as if the Wokeness of today’s culture and powers-that-be are in a hurry to black out that rearview mirror or rip it out before someone sees and questions their actions. It would be disastrous to their agenda if people - and especially the kids - would see and recognize, then learn and apply the history of experience and sacrifice to life today. If we don’t know and remember where we came from and the reason for being here we run the risk of not just traveling the same road again but of running this grand Republic off a cliff. The key to this transformation begins with the removal of God from public and then from personal life. In Alexis de Tocqueville’s book on democracy in America, he wrote that “Despotism may govern without faith, but liberty cannot. How can society escape destruction if the moral tie is not strengthened in proportion as the political tie is relaxed (increased Liberty)? What happens to a people who think they are their own masters and not submissive to the Deity?” A scary but wise warning from the 1830’s. It’s hard to put into subjection a people who know and appreciate the sacrifice of those who went before.
the book of James reminds us that we don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Our life is but a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Through remembering and embracing God’s gift in humility we draw near to God, and can receive His grace and salvation to go forward in hope and joy. So as the season changes, plug that bike into the battery tender and plug yourself into the Bible. That charge brings life. Blessings, Mark Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
Ignorance leads to tyranny and Wokeness to brokenness. Sounds like this is the true virus that they want to inject into our lives. Whether it was the sacrifice of our founding fathers or even the trail-blazing of the clubs for our motorcycle-rights organizations, they are all foundational and essentially important. Of course the greatest sacrifice that they want to erase is the supreme sacrifice of Jesus. Jesus, part of the Trinity who chose to become truly human and pay the ultimate price of leaving heaven and taking the sin of the world. His sacrifice allows the restoration and redemption of all things to God. Some things in life are so broken that we can’t fix them but thank God, he makes all things new. It’s our responsibility to not let the truth and knowledge of this to be erased or forgotten in our lifetime in this place we live. The Bible in 6 - TRMI NOVEMBER 2021
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Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1500 E Army Post Road throughout Iowa that sponsor the Des Moines, Iowa 50315 magazine. You can pick up your 515-256-9062 copy here every month. Let them Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Mason City advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Mason City Powersports Biker Friendly Business Listing and 12499 265th Street Mason City become a part of the network, 641-423-3181 please email Masoncitypowersportsinc.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400 fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com
Heartland Harley-Davidson 117 S Roosevelt Ave Burlington, IA 52601 319-754-1100 www.heartlandhd.com
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Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com
National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org
Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook
Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12
Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net
Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights
Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com
KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 2-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-5010
Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
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J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
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Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook! Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMRiverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
The Full Nelson 205 West 2nd Street Halbur, Iowa 51444 712-658-2425 The Full Nelson on Facebook The Garage 621 K45 Whiting, Iowa 51063 (712)420-5895 Facebook The Garage The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill 1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines 515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook
Guns and Ammo JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmshooterssupply@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Hobbies & Collectibles Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Insurance & Financial
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State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
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Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art Halls Cast Stone 25211 Monarch Trail Bloomfield, Iowa 52537 641-777-8027 www.hallscaststone.com Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Shops & Fabricators Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 12-Close
Legal
Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278 Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
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F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
Steffens Cycle and Detailing 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-250-8493 steffenscycle@gmail.com
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
Tires
SHOP EQUIPMENT
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
Trailers
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
Veterans Day
When first celebrated as Armistice Day, the day marked the end of World War I, formally recognized on the “11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month” in 1918. Today we continue to celebrate the day as Veterans Day is a time for us to pay our respects to Veterans Day, still recognizing the original tie with those who have served. For one day, we stand united November 11. That means Veterans Day is on the same in respect for you, our veterans. This holiday started day every year -- November 11 -- regardless of on as a day to which day of reflect upon the week it the heroism of falls. When those who died the date falls in our country’s on a Saturday service and was or Sunday, originally called government Armistice Day. officials or It fell on Nov. 11 businesses because that is may recognize the anniversary it on both the of the signing official day and of the Armistice the following that ended Monday. World War I. Veterans Day However, in is a federal 1954, the holiday holiday, a bank was changed holiday and, in to “Veterans most states, a Day” in order state holiday. to account for That means all veterans in that federal all wars. We employees, celebrate and honor America’s veterans for their including military members, are typically given the patriotism, love of country and willingness to serve and day off and, in most states, state workers are as well. sacrifice for the common good. Shared from Military.com
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We did not have to go far this month for our Military Rider to feature in Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa, just down the block from us here in Kimballton. Steven Garlick moved into town here a few months ago in Kimballton with his wife Becky and their family. He originally hails from Washington, and has traveled many miles, been in many states and countries, but is currently calling K-Town his home.
Other than riding some of his uncle’s motorcycles, Steve said that he never had the means to have his own motorcycle, but always loved to ride. On his 15th wedding anniversary with Becky, she got him hooked up with his first motorcycle, his 2017 Harley-Davidson 883 Iron Sportster. They picked that critter up at Frontier Harley-Davidson in Cheyenne, Wyoming. First thing he had to throw on some passenger Steve is an Army Veteran pegs and a different seat that attained the rank of for the gal that got it for E-4. He was active duty him, and he added a tank from 2003-2011 and Army bag and some forward Reserve from 2011-2017. controls. He would like to Both of his grandfathers upgrade the powertrain to were in the Military and a Hammer 1275 kit with served our country, and cams, tuner, and six-speed, Steve followed in their as well as some sort of footsteps. Steve’s original MOS was 63 Hotel, Track System bags and windshield, but it will all come in time. Maintenance, which amounted to going with Infantry and doing Infantry stuff, until a vehicle had an issue, then he Being new in the area, he is still trying to figure out the lay had to pick up tools, fix things up, and get them up and of the land, and where everything and everyone are around moving again. Later he re-classed into 92 Whiskey, Water here. He is not opposed to getting out riding and has great Treatment, which is self-explanatory, but Steve stated that fun when he has tagged along with me for sure. He is not a he rarely performed work within his MOS, but instead member of any Military groups or organizations currently, operated under more of a “duties as assigned” type of thing but is not opposed to the idea either. If you see him out and including infantry and logistics, among other things. about on his Red and Black Iron, thank him for his service to our great nation! He has served in many different locations during his time in the Army as well, as one would imagine. He spent Vernon time at Hunter Army Airfield in Georgia, Camp Casey in Korea, Fort Riley in Kansas, White Sands Missile Range From all of us at Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa, Thank in New Mexico, Camp Stryker in Iraq, and Dehdadi II in You For Your Service! Afghanistan. Overall, he was in Iraq for 15 months and another 12 months in Afghanistan. After active duty, his time in the Army Reserves was in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Enthusiast December 1955
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Mary Wright Oxford 99 Dyna with sidecar
Tina Jones Stanwood 2008 Kawasaki Vulcan
Kim Avey Stuart Harley-Davidson 2020 TriGlide 16 - TRMI NOVEMBER 2021
We want you on our pages! If you are an Iowa Girl of Thunder, send us a quality image, your name, year and model of bike, and where you are from to: vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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than-sex cake. We chatted for a bit about the day so far, but before we could even finish discussing the many rough seams in the roads we had traveled that morning, our food was being dropped off at the table with a big smile from the waitress. She asked if we needed anything else, checked on us regularly to keep our beverages full, and made sure we enjoyed our meals. As the sign read, the chicken dinner came with all the fixin’s, and was for sure noteworthy. The green beans were bright green and had the texture and flavor of being freshly prepared none of that canned stuff here. The mashed potatoes were made from real potatoes and were truly mashed, not the whipped variety, so there were some small pieces and a few skins involved. Topped with chicken 502 Sherman St Menlo, IA 50164 gravy and eaten up with pieces of the roll as much as using a fork made for a good combination. The broasted chicken (641) 524-2871 had a nice seasoned breading that was broasted to a crispy Tuesday-Saturday: 6:00 AM - 2:00 PM crust, with small pieces of breading breaking off and falling Sunday: 9:00 AM - 1:30 PM into the plate. The meat was tender and juicy and perfectly cooked. The little bit of extra gravy on the plate paired well Steve and I took off on a Sunday Morning to some two lane with the bits of crispy crust that had fallen off the chicken cruising around in west central Iowa. Around 12:30 or so while eating. Steve reported that the scalloped potatoes we rolled into Menlo, Iowa and the need for some vittles were in fact also real potato slices that were firm but tender. got the best of me, so we stopped by the Menlo Café. A Not mushy and falling apart, and had a creamy and cheesy few years back the originators of this article series, Craig sauce that was tasty. The chunks of ham had a slightly and Lynnette Little had cruised in here for one of the Café’s sweet flavor, like a honey baked ham type, and were a nice famous loins, but I wanted to see what else this small town compliment to the creaminess of the cheese sauce. mom and pop type of place may have. I am sure glad we did. When we were about halfway done with our meals, the waitress brought over our dessert, and that just made me We were greeted readily as we walked in the door by the scarf up the chicken even faster, wanting to get to the cake. staff, in a quaint little establishment that was about as Steve dug into his pie and was quite impressed with the homey as it can get. We arrived after the main rush, but scratch made crust from the word go. Flaky and buttery, he a few people still remained and we were greeted by some said you could tell a master baker was at work with these of the other patrons as well. Way better than glares and desserts. My better-than-sex cake was quite scrumptious scowls that we have gotten at fancier places. As it was a with the moist chocolate cake covered in whipped topping Sunday, they have a couple of specials with limited choices and caramel sauce, but makes me wonder who named instead of the full menu, but that was fine by us. Steve this stuff. Although it was quite opted for the scalloped delectable, claiming “better potatoes and ham with than” must be a marketing ploy, strawberry-rhubarb pie although it did top off the meal, to follow, and I went for but I was not even able to finish the broasted chicken with the whole piece of cake. dark meat option, and then a big piece of betterIf you are out west of Des Moines, just a couple miles north of the big slab called I-80, and just west of Stuart a couple miles, check out the Menlo Café. For a place to grab some vittles with a friendly staff, great food, and a great place to fill up an empty belly, drop on in. Tell them Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent ya.
Menlo Café
Vernon If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa.com
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SHOP TOOLS OUTLET HIGH QUALITY SHOP EQUIPMENT AND TOOLS shoptoolsoutlet.com located in Marshalltown, Iowa Shop Tools Outlet is a supplier of quality automotive service and industrial equipment. We have established relationships with world quality manufacturers both domestic and internationally. The products we carry have a proven track record of quality, dependability, and reliability. We typcially use our own products and if they live up to the demands of our family of companies, we are confident they will perform for our customers just as well. As the exclusive Mid-West warehouse for Tuxedo Distributors we work within the network of 11 stocked warehouses across the United States. This means close access for shipping and many locally stocked items for customers who would like to pick up at the nearest warehouse. Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
Of course, if one warehouse doesn’t have it, we’ve got great relationships with America’s best LTL carriers, ensuring we can get you the product that you want within just a few days. STO is just getting started. We are growing rapidly and consistently adding more great suppliers. While our business model is fairly new and evolving, the manufacturers we represent have years of history. We are excited for the future and can’t wait to share our next move into this digital age of purchasing equipment. For old school mid-west customer service combined with easy to order, quick to ship, quality products; you can count on Shop Tools Outlet to be your dealer for equipment. We hope to hear from you and give us a chance to EARN your business.
Todd Wilson, Owner www.thunderroadsiowa.com
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There are two fish in a tank. One says: “How do you drive this thing?’” A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The wife can’t orgasm because she gets too hot. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love. Begrudgingly, the friend submits and says yes. After 20 minutes the woman is no closer to orgasm, so the friend wafting the towel recommends that they switch places. They trade spots and his friend is now having sex with the woman while the husband wafts the towel. After two minutes, the woman starts to tremble and lets out an incredible cry as she reaches the most intense orgasm she has ever had. The husband looks at his friend, and proudly proclaims, “Now that, my friend, is how you waft a fucking towel.”
A little boy and his fatherr ar aree wa walk walking lkin lk ingg in down the street, and theyy see two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father, “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So, they walk on and go home. A few days ys later, the little boy walks in n on his parents having sex. x. The little boy says, “Daddy, dy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a ba baby baby.” by.” by .” The little boy says, “Can yo you u tu tturn rn mommy over? I’d rather er h have avee a av puppy.”
A couple gets married, My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t and on their wedding working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened night, the wife asks the fridge door and it’s working fine! what a penis is. The husband, sba b nd d, surprised, pulls his out. utt. She ut. She says, “Oh, it’s like a dick ick ic k bu butt Why did the squirrel swim on its back? smaller.” To keep his nuts dry. What does a horny frog say? Rub it. A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast. They are both quite startled. The Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is soft as nun if she has ever sinned. She says, “Well, I’ve seen a your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “If your penis.” So, God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.” enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, “I’ve held a penis,” so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told line and God asks why she did that. The fourth nun replies, him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” “Well, I need to gargle it before she sits in it.” What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
A family is at the zoo and they get to the elephants when the daughter notices something odd so she looks at her mom and says, “Mom what’s that thing hanging down from the elephant?” She answers, “That’s his trunk.” “No, in the back,” the daughter says. “That’s his tail.” “No, underneath!” The mother blushes and says, “Oh that’s nothing.” The daughter is confused, so she asks her dad. “Dad, what’s that thing hanging down under the elephant?” “Oh, that’s his penis,” the day replies. “Why when I asked Mommy did she say it was nothing?” “Oh, she’s just spoiled.”
There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here.” The blonde replied, “I can and I will.” The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman. “Ma’am, we really can’t have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for economy.” “You can’t make me move.” The copilot told the captain, who tried to talk her out of the seat but it didn’t work. Finally, a man who had heard what had been going on told the attendant to let him have a go at getting the woman If you’re walking through the forest and stumble across out of the seat because he was married to a blonde too, so a dead body, what’s the first thing you should do? Check he knew how to deal with her. After a quick chat with her, she moved. The shocked attendant asked him how he did your map, because you’re obviously going in circles. it. The man replied, “I told her first class wasn’t going to Detroit.” I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it. 26 - TRMI NOVEMBER 2021
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It turns out a major new study recently found that “I work with animals,” the guy says to his date. “That’s so humans eat more bananas than monkeys. sweet,” she replies. “I love a man who cares about animals. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says. ate a monkey. Two guys are at a bar. One of them looks to the other and says, “I had the best time last night. I had sex with twins!” The other asks, “How could you tell them apart?” “Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Sean had a goatee.” Three men are all working on building a house. They go up to the roof for lunch, and unwrapped their sandwiches. The Brunette says “if I get one more Tuna sandwich, I’m going to jump off this roof and kill myself. The black haired one says “if I get one more pickle and lettuce sandwich, I, too, am going to jump off this roof and kill myself. The blonde looks at his sandwich and also declares, “if I get one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I’m going to jump off this roof and kill myself.” The next day, they all get the same sandwiches and kill themselves. That night, their wives all meet up and mourn. “If I had known that my husband was going to kill himself over a sandwich, I wouldn’t have given it to him.” The brunette cries. “Same,” the raven head replies. They both look at the blonde. “Don’t look at me, he packed his own lunch!”
The Little Rascal’s class were having a spelling test. The teacher asks if anyone can use the word “admire” in a sentence. Spanky raises his hand and says, “I admire my dog.” “Good job,” the teacher replies, “Now, who can use ‘respect’ in a sentence?” Alfalfa raises his hand and says, “I respect Spanky for admiring his dog.” “Ok, “ replies the teacher, “now who can use the word ‘dictate’ in a sentence?” There is silence in the class, then all of a sudden Buckwheat says, “Darla how did my dictate !?!” I saw a dildo the other day described as “nine inches long and realistic”. I thought, “Well, which is it?” During a bank robbery, the thief ’s mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, “Did you see my face?” The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, “No, but my wife did.” A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study I know how to do it without surgery.” Doris asks, “How do the culture and was shocked to discover that women were I do it without surgery?” “Just rub toilet paper between made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her them.” Fascinated, Doris says, “How does that make them guide why and he said, “Because they are considered of bigger?” “I don’t know, but it sure worked for your ass!” lesser status.” Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. She turned to her guide and this time asked, “What has Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the changed?” The guide answered, “Land mines.” taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan.” Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, “Car very fast, made in Japan.” When When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t they reached the destination, the fare was 1500 rupees. The find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 take knives with them on dates. rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, “Meter very fast, made in India.” Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.” The second guy says, “I’m a DINK. You know, double income, no kids.” The third guy says, “I’m a RUB. You know, rich urban biker.” They turn to the woman and ask, “So what are you?” The woman replies, “I’m a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, Fuck, etc.”
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How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job? They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but two minutes and fifteen seconds once every month isn’t going to shift a beer belly.
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Lost Legend The lost legend is found. Just something about it. Can’t put my finger on it. Christine As with most of us that read this magazine. The obsession with bikes started at the young age of 13. It was a Honda 50 that his big brother couldn’t get the carb dialed so “here lil bro you can have it”. Rick rode the wheels off of it. Rick has had many bikes since, but none was more special than the 2002 Red Horse. In 2018 Rick and his wife Diane were on a cross country bike tour and stopped in Fairyville, Wisconsin for lunch.
right out of the movie Christine. Upon closer inspection, even though the bike was neglected, he could see that the quality of the build was solid and the paint was impeccable. They finished their lunch and mounted back up to continue their journey. Along the way competing with the breathtaking beauty of the Wisconsin country side, thoughts of the bike kept creeping in. Rick made sure that the trip back included another look at the thought consuming machine. As he drew closer to town, thoughts ran through his head, “Is it still there? Did someone have the same idea as me?”
At the diner was parked an unkempt two wheel piece of American art. When Rick locked his eyes on this black and white checkered and popping yellow custom paint job, something inside him said “this one is special”. It was
A deep breath as he rounded the corner there she was. He had already decided that he was not letting it get away this time. He found the owner, locked in on a price, and then headed home to get a trailer. Now the fun started. After tearing into the bike he could see all of the hardware
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needed to either be replaced or re-plated. But under all the dirt and time, the paint was actually still in amazing shape. Then he found something unusual. Under the seat was a finger print carefully covered by clear coat. The painter had left his mark in a very unusual way. This is what started Rick down the rabbit hole. After doing some digging, Rick discovered that the print belonged to an Iowa painter named Jon Weiland. Jon was from Britt, Iowa and was the proprietor of Koyote Custom Finishes. Jon put his touch on over 380 motorcycles during his painting career, but when asked about his favorite out of all the paint jobs he had done over the years what was the top one? This is the bike that always came to mind. It took him 18 days and around $2,000 to finish this one. Layer upon layer upon layer… Clear on clear on clear to complete this masterpiece. Unfortunately, some of our readers are already very familiar with Jon’s story because it ended tragically. For many years friends and loved ones carried on a memorial ride in Jon’s name. Maybe this article will even spark enough interest to fuel the ride once again, and in years to come his art will be there for everyone to enjoy again. Mark Fountain Fountain Photography
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the death warrant for the entire wing he lives on.
Tis the season to count our blessings! It’s the second greatest holiday of the calendar year, Thanksgiving baby! It’s more than just feasting and football. It’s friends, family, and a time to truly be thankful for all that we have in our lives and the wonderful country (no matter how flawed it might be at times) that we live in. I know you may be sitting there wondering, okay, second greatest holiday, what could be the first, well, if you’ve been reading my articles for the last decade it seems I have been banging the keyboards for the Boss of Bosses, you would know that indeed the day of our Nation’s Independence is the single most important holiday of the year, no matter what your background… bloodline, religious, nonreligious, political affiliation, none of that happens without us celebrating the birth of our nation, no matter if certain political affiliations want to dampen or even curb certain freedoms. Going to stop right there, we have no place for politics around the feast of Thanksgiving table. It is time to gather around that magnificent table and truly be thankful, maybe now more than ever, that we have a great many things to be thankful for this year. I mean, we can gather around the table if our benevolent leader says it’s okay. No, not that one, the one true all knowing…all powerful Dr. Fauci of course. As I crank this out in early October, it’s a warm, great afternoon to ride day, tunes thumping, cigar at the ready, dreaming of the holidays and we wonder if the good doctor has decided it’s okay to travel over hill and over dale to Grandma’s house. Or if it’s okay to bring that crazy ass uncle over, the one that always brings the good bourbon, you know, the one that taught you cool swear words when you were a toddler. Is it okay to gather safely or will this become a super spreader event that kills grandma, ruins your uncle’s life and shuts down all Black Friday shopping as we know it!?! I know, we have had hundreds of High School, College, and NFL games with packed stands and no issues, plenty of NASCAR races, fans elbow to elbow, cheering on our fearless leader in their own special way and yet not a single super spreader event yet. But, spring grandpa from the home for some turkey, Lion’s football, and that shitty overrated green bean casserole, and you may as well sign 32 - TRMI NOVEMBER 2021
I was chatting back and forth with the Boss of Bosses a few days before I sat down to my Chromebook and as he is harassing me in his own special loving way about my deadline coming up, I flat out told him, I am a bit brain locked for an idea on what to write about for my November submission. Nothing…sure, it does happen from time to time, but generally I have a half dozen ideas floating around my melon about what I wanna touch on or throw on to the screen and see what sticks. They come to me a weird times and places and I do try to keep track of them, whip them around my thoughts and see what comes up. Is it an idea I can use for my radio show? Yes, that’s a shameless plug, 101.9 the Keg Omaha and yes you can stream me each morning from 6a-10a…or is it an idea that I can turn into an article for what is really important in my life, Thunder Roads Iowa. So many times, the really good ideas come to me while I am riding. One super warm Wednesday night I was traveling on Iowa’s West Coast, lovely riding but sadly the only riding I have done this year is local. I love the Loess Hills area and they do offer truly spectacular views and vistas, twisty, autumn sunsets and great towns with plenty of cold beer, dives with amazing wings, and you never know when you will stumble onto a Pork Tenderloin sammich. Side bar, is the Pork Tenderloin to Iowa as far as sammichs go that Busch Latte is to beer in Iowa? Simply the best that is why it’s #1? Is there a better culinary bar staple in Iowa that a pork tenderloin and an ice-cold Busch Light? Outside of the Thanksgiving table, that is perfection served up right there. Sadly, it seems those ideas over the months were fleeting. Gone from my memory bank like the sunset over the horizon, once it’s gone, it just seems to be gone for good. Maybe it’s age, I don’t know but it could be that I have just a ton of things going through my brain, seems more than normal and that could be the cause, or maybe even more likely it’s the sheer fact that I have had a great deal of head trauma over the years and the end product of a government funded education, it just ain’t clicking like it used to. Part of the reason I support the freedom to choose. When it comes to helmets. They won’t save much on me. It’s all pretty much shot at this point. So, while chatting to the Boss of Bosses, as he again reminded me in his subtle way “Hey jack wagon, due date” or something like that, I flat out told him, brother, I got nothing right now, several ideas but nothing worth a shit. “Simple”, he replied. I really l could use an article for
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November to express how thankful you are. I mean, month after month I am thankful to be published in this awardwinning magazine, sure, it’s the very last article and I there as an afterthought, but I was also told that is one of the most coveted spots to be in a magazine, other than the first page, so as Ricky Bobby once said; “If you ain’t first, you’re last!” Being a bit of a smart ass, and truth be told, he and I joke back and forth all the time to a level that if it ever got out, we both would be CANCELED by the woke culture, so I really love when he does give me an idea. Oh, go ahead woke folk, try and cancel me. I will take it to an entirely deeper level of depravity and debauchery, you should see how I filter my own thoughts. I did respond, sure Boss, I will write about how thankful I am. I mean, thankfully we damn near have one year down of this current administration, so there is that, gas prices are climbing higher than they have in damn near a decade, just as we are putting our bikes away. Thankful I have my boat in storage so I don’t have to fill that 65-gallon tank, thankful that we all need boosters now because the shots didn’t quite do what they were intended and it doesn’t matter because you can still get it with or without the shot…your results may vary. In addition, we are holding our collective sphincters tight hoping we can have the government’s approval to sit around the big dining room table and pass the cranberry sauce, a delicious but over hyped part of the feast. I like it but come the hell on, if we were such big fans we would eat cranberries on like, I dunno, Valentine’s Day or something right? Oh, and it’s been over a year since we lost Eddie Van Halen. But whatever. Actually, I am thankful for a great many things. My son in the Air Force has been safe for another year in his commitment to protecting our country, my daughters are killing it in life, great grades, super easy to parent, and fun young adults. My wife, family, extended family all have survived and are doing kick ass, hell, I recently ran into a friend that I haven’t seen in 20 years that has dealt with a shit show in her life over the last 5 years got out of a bad situation and the future looks great. I watch zero news anymore, local or national. None, screw it, my outlook is better for it. I rode a lot, just locally, but it was fun showing some people new roads, familiar faces and created new laughs and memories, developed new friendships that I wasn’t expecting, got on the water more than ever. It’s easy to do when you don’t sit your ass on the couch watching news or even tv shows for that matter and the holidays are here and hell, I love them. Sure, winter is coming and my riding will be slim, but as long as the weather warms a bit and the roads are clean of the white shit, I can sneak a mile of two in. I am always thankful for that and all shit aside, we still live in the greatest country in the history of countries and even with its faults and eroding freedoms, it still kicks ass. I am thankful for all of that and so much more. Plus, we already damn near have a full year of the administration behind us, so there is that. Todd “Crash” Davis Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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2021 Oct 29-30 Nov 6 Nov 11-13 Nov 11 Nov 12-14 Nov 13 Nov 13 Nov 26 Nov 26 Dec 11
Halloween Spooktacular Big Barn HD Des Moines Two Wheel Trauma by Slider Gilmore Pocahontas Veteran’s Day Event Big Barn HD Des Moines Veteran’s Day Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids Iowa Steam Marshalltown Motorcycle Profiling Presentation by Slider Gilmore Marshalltown Chili Cookoff LHHD Pacific Junction Turkey Run Clinton Black Friday Event Big Barn HD Des Moines Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines
Apr 3 May 7 May 26-30 Jun 18 Aug 5-14 Sep 1-5
Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL 11th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Two Wheel Trauma by Slider Gilmore Nevada Black Hills Motorcycle Rally Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville
2022 Jan 8 Feb 25-27 Feb 24-26 Feb 26 Feb 26-27 Mar 6 Mar 11-13 Mar 13 Mar 19 Apr 1-3
Final Rewind - The Last Retro Rewind Dubuque Indoor Car & Motorcycle Show World of Wheels Milwaukee Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Sleeping Angels Gala Boone 52nd Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids World of Wheels Chicago Wade’s High Performance Swap Meet & Trade Show Des Moines Two Wheel Trauma by Slider Gilmore Davenport World of Wheels Omaha
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