Junkyard Café

& Chitty Chitty Bean Bean

108 East State Street

Jefferson, Iowa 50129

(515)386-4979

Sun-Thurs 6:30am – 2 pm

Fri 6:30 am – 7 pm

Sat 6:30am – 2 pm

On our way to Marshalltown to watch a class presented by our dear friend Dick “Slider” Gilmore, we decided to make a stop in Jefferson for breakfast at a place that proved to be not only article worthy, but had a great back story to boot. I am including the story below.

“When I was a child, my dad would buy antique and classic cars and make my sister and I drive them. At the time, we thought they were “junk”. When I got older, my dad had his own business called Classical Gas. He bought and sold his antique and classic cars throughout the United States as well as overseas, and even to a movie company. He had a show room that would make anyone who appreciates cars salivate. The car that represents Junkyard Café is a 1947 Cadillac that my dad bought in 2006 when he was 58. Sadly, my dad passed away from cancer before he ever drove the car. The colors are also his business colors and his name is even in the license plate on our logo. This is how our name, Junkyard Café came about! Some may find it weird and some may love it. But we love it and it has a lot of sentimental meaning behind it. I bet anyone in the late 90’s even early 2000’s who skimmed through an Auto

Trader magazine has seen some of my dad’s ads and cars. The menu items that have vehicle names are just some of the cars we drove when we were children. I have turned my Fathers love for cars into something I love but in my own way. By running a family restaurant. We hand cut our fries and chips, we batter our own onion rings, my son runs the kitchen, my daughter runs the floor and my mom does all our baking all the way down to the biscuits and noodles!”

As soon as we entered, we chose a table up front and our waitress, Alex was taking our drink orders. Just your standard coffee and OJ, but perusing the menu was a daunting task, as they serve breakfast all day, but will also cook up anything else on the 2 page menu at your request. Burgers, sandwiches, chicken…you name it, they can make it. It was just after 9:30 am, so we both ordered breakfast. Vernon ordered the chicken fried steak breakfast. It was a deliciously golden brown hand breaded steak covered in fresh homemade sausage gravy, with a large serving of crispy hash browns and two eggs cooked over medium to Vernon’s liking. On the side was wheat toast. I ordered the Mustang Scrambler, a spicy original piled high with sautéed onions, mushrooms, green and red peppers, jalapenos, seasoned hamburger, and cheddar cheese. As if that wasn’t enough, that whole delicious scramble is placed on top of a bed of crispy hash browns with a side of salsa and sour cream. A piece of sourdough toast also made its way onto my plate. There was nothing negative about our visit to the Junk Yard Café. The staff was friendly and helpful, the food was delicious, and the prices could not be beat. We decided to get a couple of coffees to go from the other half of the property, Chitty Chitty Bean Bean. Also delicious…almost like dessert for breakfast. Not that we needed it, as our breakfast portions were more than generous.

The next time you are by Jefferson, make sure to make some time for the Junk Yard Café and Chitty Chitty Bean Bean, you won’t be disappointed. And be sure to tell them that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you.

See you on the road!

Melanie Schwarte

If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this joke.)

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

“I want you inside me.”

What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!

I can never take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie.

Want to hear a joke about a roof? The first one’s on the house.

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just wait!”

How come teddy bears never want to eat anything? Because they’re always stuffed.

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Why were they called the “dark ages?” Because there were a lot of knights.

How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’ The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

What’s the main thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is…Wait, where are we again?

Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You probably think it’s “R” but it is the “C”.

How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles

Why are toilets always so good at poker? They always get a flush

What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.

Where does a waitress with only one leg work? IHOP.

What does a house wear? Address!

Why is Peter Pan always fl Because he Neverlands. (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

Why aren’t koalas considered bears? They don’t have the right koala-fi cations.

How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.No pun in ten did.

When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke? When it becomes apparent.

Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderpants

Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.

Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!

Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.

I started a new job as a tailor last week. It’s been sew-sew.

Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I still don’t know how I feel about that.

My wife accused me the other day of being too immature. I told her there were no girls allowed in my fort.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

I’ve been trying to make a sarcastic club, but it’s been really hard to tell if people are interested in joining or not.

What kind of shoes does a spy wear? Sneakers.

Why are crabs so bad at sharing? Because they’re all shellfish.

What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

I tried to win a suntanning competition. But all I got was bronze.

What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief. But when I got home, the signs were all there.

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.

I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, its in my jeans.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?

Because they’re really good at it.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggie.

Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

What is Moby Dick’s dad’s name? Papa Boner.

What do you get when you jingle Santa’s balls? A white Christmas!

What did the leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes!

I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.

What is the difference between “ooooooh” and “aaaaaaah”? About three inches.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong ...

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said “Are you going to help?” I said “No, six should be enough.”

Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot”.

Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. Did you know that if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg you can actually hear them say “what the fuck are you doing?

What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.

Our whole family is really worried about my grandfather’s Viagra addiction. Grandma is taking it particularly hard.

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.

It’s early but I feel good.

Our riding season is really just kicking in, as May blossoms with constant reminder that we are alive and we’re putting winter behind us with a bit more of sunlight each and every day it’s our time to shake the cob webs and hit the damn roads. Damn it’s good to be out riding again and finding new roads and new pot holes that we are sure were not threr last time you were on this same road.

Of course, May is National Motorcycle Awareness Month and I will admit that I am torn on this particular acknowledgement every damn year it comes around. Look, look…I am a massive promoter of riding, been legit on two engine powered wheels since the Easter Bunny brought me a Red Fox mini bike and road warrior passion kicked into overdrive. Not that my Red Fox had overdrive, hell it didn’t even have brakes. But when you wear Converse tennis shoes from the 70’s and your legs are protected in a covering of Sears Tough Skin jeans you don’t need to worry about protection. I mean, my parents didn’t worry about protection, which is why I was born just months after mom graduated. Graduated in May, married in June and along comes her future road dog in October of the same year. Didn’t take long to figure out the math as a child, and considering my mini bike didn’t have brakes, or a helmet, I am proud that I can even math. Then again, as I always have been known to say any more math is an app, but so are chicken wings and those are more satisfying almost with every bike ride. Small town bar, cold beer, and good wings that feature blue cheese, we have a winner. Ranch, if you will recall, is for children and not chicken wings.

The reason I am not fully on board is the “Awareness part” of the month. I feel it should be a year around awareness that motorcycles are an important part of our world and we shouldn’t be risking our life and limb when we swing a leg over any more than we do in a cager. It’s bullshit. Drivers should be paying attention to all traffic including bikers. Same damn story every time a biker gets hit.

“I didn’t see him”

Horseshit, you didn’t look for him, that is your error. Damn near all bikes have bright ass LED headlights on them anymore. Oh, and if you don’t, change it dammit. It’s so much brighter, there is a dang bulb designed to fit almost every make and model you can think of and the reduction of stress on your older electrical system is amazing. Go LED amigo; my headlights are so bright I can reflect off a stop sign on a sunny day. But again, if you have an older bike, hell all my bikes are older, upgrade those bad boys and “see” the difference.

They should always be aware of us. If you have any time in the saddle, I am almost certain you know of someone that died in a bike accident. It blows massive ass. It does. If you are lucky enough to have never felt that pain, all the best to you and I hope you never do. I have ridden in, donated to, organized, and sponsored too many damn memorial runs over my decades of life behind bars. I really don’t know the actual number and while it’s great to come together for a wonderful memory, I feel bad celebrating on a bike the memory of someone killed on a bike. I know poker runs are great for raising cash, man the biker community is just the best at supporting a cause or a need. Every single weekend there are more runs around that you can shake a dirty politician at and each year there seem to be more and more.

Okay, this is going to sound crass and I really don’t mean it to, but can we possibly have a poker run to celebrate something good and fun? I know it’s great to support wonderful causes, Make-A-Wish, a cancer center, a kid with medical expenses, a memory of a great mom, friend and wife that passed from some shitty thing at way to young of an age. Pull on my heart strings and trust me, my ride or die wife and I will likely show up and donate some cash. I am a cold-hearted bastard but I still am a caring cold-hearted bastard. But, now, follow me here, a poker run where we raise money for something fun and good natured. A camp that needs a new fishing dock, raising money for a beer garden at a race track, a dancer needs a new set of titties, you know, stuff a bunch of bikers can get behind.

I am all about the cause, it inspires me to be a better person, a person that for a moment in time feels like I actually helped a cause and on top of it all, got to ride all day long. I love it. I love all day long rides actually and as I mentioned earlier it is great to be back in the saddle and chasing the next curve.

Many of the lower tiered states faired rather well this spring, the weather turned nice, we didn’t have much snow and the roads didn’t have that bike eating white grime that makes you cringe when it sticks to your machine. My first ride of the year turned out to be a rare burst of warmth on a Sunday that displayed copious amounts of sunshine, dismissing winds and a perfect day to roll. Rolling is what everyone seemed to have on their minds as I legit saw 100s of bikes hitting stop after stop and it was glorious. Maybe the best part is when my friends that were up north in South Dakota that same day were under yet another blizzard warning. I got that text while I peeled off my jacket, grabbed a chicken wing and didn’t even feel a bit sorry for them.

Dedicated to the cause. The cause of riding and promoting it. Again, it’s something that I have been a part of for nearly as many years as I have been permitted to ride on the roads, one of the reasons I make the big bucks writing for the glorious celebration of riding, Thunder Roads Iowa, I am honored to do it and to be associated with an amazing clutch of people is the best.

It’s good to promote Motorcycle Awareness all May long, it’s also a badge of honor to be a rider and promote how amazing our “hobby’ is. Hobby…it is in my soul. It is far beyond a hobby and just a simple part of who I am.

I hope we see each other at some biker function this summer and hug like biker brothers and sisters do and I hope it’s at a biker function that is being held for something FUN and happy. Remember, if it’s okay to bolt on chrome it’s okay to bolt on titties.

2023

Apr 29 Blessing of the Bikes Big Barn HD Des Moines

Apr 29 620 Foundation SxS Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Apr 30 Northwest Christian Church Bike Blessing Council Bluffs

Apr 30 SGT James C. Kearney III Memorial Run Emerson

May 6 12th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone

May 6 17th Annual Chrome Divas Awareness Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

May 6 CMA Annual Bike Blessing Burlington

May 6 Blessing of the Bikes American Legion Newton

May 6 Black Jack Run & Party Defiance HD Omaha, NE

May 6 International Female Ride Day Worldwide

May 6 Retirement Party Dave Rosenberger RT65 HD

Indianola

May 7 5th Annual 1st Baptist Bike Blessing Muscatine

May 13 Shelly Tuttle Memorial Run LeGrand

May 15-16 Bikers Inside the Beltway 2023 Washington DC

May 20 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola

May 20 Bulleit Memorial Ride Anamosa

May 20 Mean Machine Cycle Parts Open House Elkhart

May 20 Dice Run CVMA NE Chapter 16-1 Greta, NE

May 20 Bikes & Coffee Two Wheel Detail Pleasant Hill

May 20 Spring Hog Roast Zylstra HD Ames

May 21 Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride Multiple Locations

May 25-28 Redneck Revival Conesville

May 26-29 Midway Tavern’s 25th Annual Veterans Memorial BBQ, Poker Run, & Band Soldier

May 27-28 Thunder on the Missouri Sioux City

May 29 The Price of Freedom, Presentation by Chopper Gilmore Sioux Rapids

Jun 3 D18 Memorial Ride Keokuk

Jun 3 11th Annual Chasin’Tails Fun Run Cambridge

Jun 3 Terry Stubbs Memorial Ride American Legion

Newton

Jun 4 Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa

Jun 4 ALR Iowa Chapter Hampton Post 183 Poker Ride

Clarion

Jun 10 Rock N Ride HD of Carroll

Jun 10 Sarak Mok Memorial Ride Carlisle

Jun 10 Patti’s Riders 4 Thrivers Council Bluffs

Jun 11 Rollin for the Colon Benefit Poker Run Templeton

Jun 14-18 Romper Room Earlville

Jun 17 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola

Jun 17-18 Baxter Cycle Four States Ride Marne

Jun 23 The Final Salute-Unclaimed Veteran Escort

Waterloo

Jun 24 Teufelhund Veterans Group Veterans Support Ride

Jun 24

Jun 24

Rolling Summer of Freedom Kickoff Party

Zylstra HD Ames Anamosa

Running Over Lupus Ride Jewell

Jun 24 Chains Interrupted Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Jun 24 Vets 22/ALR Blackjack Run Council Bluffs

Jun 29-Jul 1 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally

Jun 30-Jul 2 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt

Jul 4 Bikini Bike Wash Dirty Biker Design Winterset

Jul 7-8 Combat Vets Chapter 39-3 Benefit Ride Elkport

Jul 8 16th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca

Jul 8 Chrome For Kids Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Jul 8 Rally Ready Rendezvous Zylstra HD Ames

Jul 14 2nd Annual ALR Golf Scramble Council Bluffs

Jul 15 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola

Jul 15 D18 Hospice Ride Burlington

Jul 15 10th Annual Ride 4 Time Annual Poker Run Baxter

Jul 15 Bikers for Backpacks Carroll

Jul 16 Rumble to Recovery Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Jul 21-23 British Biker Cooperative 42nd Rally & Show Blue River, WI

Jul 22 6th Annual Cruizin for Cure Cystic Fibrosis Benefit Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Jul 22 Solid Ones MC Annual Car Wash Des Moines

Jul 29 Solidarity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Jul 29 Christmas in July Scavenger Hunt Walford

Aug 4-13 Black Hills Motorcycle Rally South Dakota

Aug 12 LT Ride for Babies Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Aug 13 5th Annual Cancer Sucks Car, Truck, and Bike Show Council Bluffs

Aug 13 5th Annual Benefit the Vets Worthington

Aug 18-20 19th Annual BTW Trike In Kellogg

Aug 19 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola

Aug 19-20 Baxter Cycle 4th Annual 40th Annual Open House Marne

Aug 20 D18 Quad Picnic Blakesburg

Aug 26 2nd Annual Support our Veterans Ride Livermore Legion

Aug 26 Kyle’s Mile 9 Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids

Aug 31-Sep 2 52nd Annual Motorcycle Swap Meet Davenport

Aug 31-Sep 3 Redneck Revival Conesville

Sep 9 Fall Hog Roast Zylstra HD Ames Sep 10

Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa

Sep 16 BBQ Open House RT 65 HD Indianola

Sep 23 D18 Toys for Tots Ride Burlington

Sep 1-4 Midway Tavern’s 25th Annual Soldier Valley Poker Run, BBQ/Dance/Concert Soldier

Sep 16 Mean Machine “Smalltown Throwdown” Burnout Contest & Stereo Battle Elkhart

Sep 17 17th Annual World-Famous Butterfield’s M-C Parts

Hot Dog Daze Omaha, NE

Sep 23 22 Veteran Suicide Awareness Association Poker Run Pacific Junction

Oct 1 Toy Run HD of Carroll

Oct 28 Screamin Saturday Chili Cookoff and Halloween

Event Zylstra HD Ames

Nov 4 Pancakes for Patriots Zylstra HD Ames

Nov 4 Solid Ones MC Clubhouse Day of The Dead Party Carlisle

Dec 9

Brrrrunch Party and Santa Stop Zylstra HD Ames

Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Iowa Bike Nights and Dinner Rides

Wednesday

Back Forty Bike Night at the Barn Des Moines (2nd Wed May-Sep)

Bea’s Place Baxter

Cruise Night Britt (3rd Wed Jul-Sep) Pete & Shorty’s Clarksville

Supper Rides Harley-Davidson of Carroll (5-10, 6-14, 7-19,8-16,9-13)

Dinner Rides Zylstra HD Ames

Thursday

Edwards Bikes on the Hundred Block Council Bluffs (3rd Thursday)

Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays)

Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe

Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-Sep)

East of Omaha Bike Night Griswold (1st Thurs MaySep)

VFW Post 9662 Des Moines (Every Thursday AprOct)

Screamin’ Eagle Waterloo (Jun-Aug)

Carlisle Bike Night (3rd Friday)

Chommy’s Bar/Grill Eldon (3rd Thursday)

Thunder N2 Atlantic Bike Night Atlantic (2nd Thurs Jun-Oct)

Tip Top Lounge Ames (start Jun 1)

Friday

Bondurant Bike Night at the Rails (4th Friday AprSep)

American Legion Post 232 Polk City (2nd Friday MaySep)

Thunder Nites Newton (2nd Friday Jun-Aug) Off Point Pub Davenport (Every Friday)

Burt’s Dog House Boxholm (Every Other Friday) Mean Machine Grub Run Elkhart (1st Fri-May - Sep)

Saturday

Dirty Biker Design Winterset (May 13, Jun 10, Jul 15, Aug 12, Sep 9)

I-29 Dragway with LHHD Pacific Junction (Apr 29, Jun 10, Aug 26, Oct 14)

Kilroy’s Redfield (2nd Sat May-Sep)

Sunday

Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May)

This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com