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TR T RM MII M AY 2021 AY 200221 - 3 TRMI MAY
May is the month that riders come me ou ooutt in n droves. We know, our families kknow now no ow it, but the general public does not ot seem to give a rat’s ass. National nnaal Motorcycle Safety Awareness month coincides every year in May with the great increase in the number of motorcycles on the road as well as the number of miles that get racked up by riders on Iowa and all other roads around d th the he nation. With getting out more, th the he driving public is not used to seeing eiing ng us out and about, so we need to bbe even more wary of other cars as well as the other usual spring time hazards. On top of watching out for cars, we as riders need to be more vigilant about safety as we dust off our riding skills for the new year. Motorcycle safety needs to consider multiple facets, not just what everyone else is doing. We have to take safety into our own hands. Check over all of your equipment, ensure your ride is in tip top shape, and keep your head on a swivel while out and about enjoying to pavement. Ride safe, ride responsibly, and be good stewards of the riding community. Make your own safety and the ability to make it home to your family your primary goal when rolling out on two or three wheels. Above and beyond taking our safety into our own hands, we can also promote motorcycle safety and strive to make the roads safer in other ways. One thing we can do is to share the hell out of Motorcycle Awareness posts on social media sites. I know I have a couple people on my followers list that don’t ride motorcycles, so whatever I post or share, they will see it and that is the goal. We want to get messages to the non-riding community about motorcycle safety and the gentle reminders that the fourand-more wheel crowd need to be cognizant of the fact we are back in force starting in May. On the TRMI Facebook and Instagram pages, we will have a Motorcycle Safety deal that we will post every day of May. Feel free to share it and add a few words of your own to the post about why it is an important aspect of your life. The more we can share a message of safety in all aspects of our lives, the more it will be in the minds of those sharing the road with us.
May is also the month that events and bike nights really get rolling for the year, and it has been awesome to see the list exploding at the seams over the past month. People are ready to be out and about and we have witnessed that firsthand this spring at a few different events. Some are cautiously excited to try to get back to normal, but most people don’t seem to give two shits about what has been going on and want to live life. We are always trying to keep our TRMI Events Listing and our TRMI Bike Night Listings as complete as possible, but we need your help with this. If you know of a confirmed event or bike night that has not been added to our list already, please email it to me at vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com and we will get it added to the list. We post events and bike nights on our TRMI Facebook page every Monday as well as being printed in every magazine. We ask that you help us keep everyone updated on what is going on and where it is going on, because if people don’t know, they sure as hell are not going to show! A parting shot that we would like to take is a shout out to our advertisers, sponsors, and readers of the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa. The past 15 months or so have not been good for many people for many reasons, but we thank all of you for keeping things rolling and flipping our pages every month. Please darken the doors of the advertisers in the magazine as they have kept things going for the past year and well before that. Thank you for the support! Vernon Schwarte, Editor, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Quote of the Month: “Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.” Adlai Stevenson
On the Cover
On the cover this month we have a busty beauty named Jess Wright sitting pretty on Sean Hansen’s Dyna Wide Glide. Jess is an experienced model who has spent time on the west coast, but more recently calls the Omaha/Council Bluffs area home.
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Thank God for spring! The ability to ride; roads with no sand; reliable bikes; events actually happening; the opportunities to go, gather and do; and friends and family to share life with. Even in these troubled times there is hope, joy and enthusiasm if we focus on the good and not the bad. Yes, we’ve lost a lot of good people recently but those of us that remain keep their memories alive, remembering the great times and how they influenced our lives and looking forward to being reunited someday in heaven. Karla and I recently hosted a family dinner and get-together and I took great delight in watching her, the kids, the grandkids and our dog all tearing around the yard and playing a variety of games. I think everyone is so glad to just be able to get together and be normal, or in our family’s case, Abbynormal. It’s amazing the competitiveness and energy expended in one afternoon, and that’s just Karla and the dog. They are like a couple of squirrels making a break for the other side of the road in front of your bike. She has always been (one of those), easily whipped into a frenzy or maybe a whirling vortex as the situation or happenstance prescribes. She was the girl not to be left behind whether it was the black diamond ski slope even though her experience was more a bunny slope level or the first in line at the bike games. Doesn’t matter if it was a club-sponsored event or church sponsored - she can’t help herself, and if she knows you she will probably kick at your bike during the slow race. Watching her cook for the big dinner was the same way. She was throwing dishes in and out of the oven, kicking the door, twisting the control knobs like the throttle on her Heritage. I had no idea you could throw a check-engine light on a stove.
life destroying, and worthy of our trust. We can’t let ourselves be derailed by the bad things. Basically anything not in God’s will is a detour. The things we face are no match for God and His angels. God has given Jesus all authority in heaven and earth. Sickness and disease, bad and destructive habits, our Riding is the same in that I am her designated engine past decisions - all are under his feet and subject to him. Be governor. I always have to ride in front to hold down the encouraged: lift others, live with a passion and joy that God pace. I remember one day years ago when we still had the wants to see in you. As Karla always reminds me, “Just go Big River Rally and she snuck by me on her Dyna. She and our son on his Sportster hit the highway deciding to see who and be nice for Jesus”. It really does make a difference. could go faster. I need one of those kill-switch tethers I can P.S. If you find yourself with Karla at a game table, a bike yank and shut her down. I wear out my mirrors watching game, horseshoe pit or whatever, don’t turn your back, make the sparks shooting out from under her floorboards as sure you guard your cards, your shins and your kill switch. she corners and jumps any whoop-de-doo’s she can find. Anyway, as you can see I actually really do take great delight She cheats and has been known to bite. You’ve been warned. in seeing my loved one’s zeal, enthusiasm and joy. I’m sure that is how God looks at us as his children. Psalm 147 says, Blessings, Mark “The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian who hope in his steadfast love.” In Zephaniah; “The Lord Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save: he will rejoice over you with gladness.” I think it’s because when God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org he sees us, he sees his Son Jesus. He took away our sin and as we turn to him, we become like him; a reflection of Jesus. We then need to see ourselves as God sees us, not through the eyes of others that may have caused hurt or rejection. The goal of our enemy has always been to alienate and make us feel of no value. He knows how damaging and hard it is to have faith when feeling worthless. God’s purpose for us is greater than our hurt or rejection. Jesus was despised and rejected but in the middle of it all his love never failed. God fixes hearts, minds and bodies. He is life giving, not 6 - TRMI MAY 2021
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Edwards Motorsports and RV’s The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1010 34th Avenue throughout Iowa that sponsor the Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 magazine. You can pick up your 712-366-8400 copy here every month. Let them fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa 1500 E Army Post Road Biker Friendly Business Listing and Des Moines, Iowa 50315 become a part of the network, 515-256-9062 please email Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Leather & Hawgs 121 1st Street Soldier, Iowa leather@wiatel.net (712) 884-2701 www.leatherandhawgs.com
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30 National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
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Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00 Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Hawk Heaven Tavern 805 17th St SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 Happy Hour 4p-6p Every Day HawkHeavenTavern on Facebook Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
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Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128 KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 2-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-5010 Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar! Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165 Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports The Garage 621 K45 Whiting, Iowa 51063 (712)420-5895 Facebook The Garage The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMSandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill 1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines 515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook
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Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 12-Close Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Guns and Ammo JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Hobbies & Collectibles Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art Halls Cast Stone 25211 Monarch Trail Bloomfield, Iowa 52537 641-777-8027 www.hallscaststone.com Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Services Insurance & Financial O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
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Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Shops & Fabricators Blackwell Gas 431 3rd Street Manilla, Iowa 51454 712-654-2812 Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768
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Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
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Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
SHOP EQUIPMENT Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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Enthusiast August 1954
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Scooter Tramp Pat and d Si Sioux Falls ll Breakdowns are inevitable… Whether it’s something major, or even if you’re the ultimate motorcycle mechanic and ride a bike handed down to you from the hands of God, you still can’t avoid a flat tire situation if you ride a lot. Preventative maintenance is the key, and since we’re just getting into a new riding season, now is the time to be checking tire pressure, fluids, lights, etc. But I’m not gonna harp on all that, instead I’m gonna take this opportunity to poke fun at my good friend Pat Jones. These days Pat plays the part of a famous radio DJ by day, and Rock-a-Billy star by night, but many many moons ago he actually rode motorcycles and went to Sturgis every year, well almost every year. Him and I rode up there, first time for both us, in 1995 and managed to avoid any major malfunctions on that trip. But since then, well, I’ll just say luck hasn’t been in his favor…
RAMBLINGS were still in the Black Hills in a timely manner. Another year he decided to rake the neck of his FXR the day before leaving for Sturgis, and I really can’t recall if he had any major issues that year, but I’m just gonna go ahead and roll into the subject of Sioux Falls… 2005: Melvis was having electrical issues (among other things) with his FXR all summer long, maybe for a couple years actually? He’ll correct me when he reads this. But, he was determined to ride to Sturgis, not haul the bike. He was just south of Sioux
The following year (1996, if you’re not paying attention) Pat decided to add some new sheet metal (that of course wasn’t correct for his Sportster) a new front end (also not correct) and some other new shit, none of which ever came stock on a Sporty. I wanna say he started this whole idea the winter before, and he might’ve had most of it on the bike by the time Sturgis rolled around, but he was up late the night before we left, working on the bike. We woke him up at 5:30am, we were rolling shortly after, and on I-90 in South Dakota he had a little set-back with a small electrical fire, which was remedied along the highway and we 16 - TRMI MAY 2021
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Falls on I-29, when his bike finally gave up. His female companion was following him in her car, and he met a generous local fella who offered to let him store the bike in his garage for as long as needed, so they decided to deal with on the way home (when Nate could help out) and just do Sturgis in the car. As luck would have it, my friend Jody, who lived in the Black Hills, had a Dyna sitting in the garage that he wasn’t using for the week, and he offered to let Pat borrow it for the rally. Plus, Theresa hauled one of my bikes up there on the trailer so she had her own scooter during the rally, which Pat ended up riding back home, and which also left the trailer empty to pick-up his FXR in Sioux Falls!
phone, which as 3 missed calls. I pull off the road and check it out, and all 3 were from him, along with 4 or 5 text messages. Yep, broke down… Yep, Sioux Falls! One saving grace is he’s only about a mile from my friend Phil’s fab shop, so we’ve got access to the needed tools. Running an open primary on that Shovel, he managed to fry the belt, so we had to find another one, and I started making phone calls before I even got back on the road to meet up with him. Pat was also lucky enough to break down near an exit with hotels and restaurants, so he didn’t have to push the bike far, and he went ahead and got a room situated for the night so we could cuddle. I rolled in about 2pm, and he’s sitting at Tailgator’s with a couple drinks down already, of which I surely needed too, but was on call to see if/when 2009: Hollywood now has a 2004 bagger, which I’d be riding somewhere to get a primary belt. I’m thinking ya might think would mean smooth sailing, but he couldn’t Pat must’ve felt guilty for making me miss last call during resist the chance to put on a smoke show at the burn-outs his last Sioux Falls ordeal, cause I barely get sat down and in Sundance, which rattled something loose in the top end. the waitress brings over steak dinners. Just about then I Theresa and I had plans to stop in Sioux Falls for the night gotta call that a primary belt was situated, 2 actually so he on the way back home, and we tried to convince him to had a spare, but I couldn’t pick it up till the next morning. come with so we could help out if needed. The bike was Luckily there was plenty of cold Bud Light in stock, so we noisy but still running, and he felt that one more night of kept ourselves entertained at the expense of other patrons, partying was the better option. Next day, after a restful and even stuck around to order food again right before close night in Sioux Falls, we were just about to Dubuque, only 1 to make sure the hired help at Tailgator’s remembered us! hour from home, and he calls Theresa (who’s following me in the van) and says the motor took a shit in Sioux Falls. So Next morning Phil brought his impact and some “Super Nate” gets home, unloads the other bike outta the tools over to us, and the belt was replaced in the hotel van, grabs a cooler of beer and some tools, and drives right parking lot, then we rode over to Phil’s shop to check out back to Sioux Falls, just in time to miss Last Call. Good his old Indian projects. I could go on and on about many thing I had that cooler! other breakdown stories with Patrick Thomas, but I’m running outta page space here. So hopefully this story is a 2014: Pretty Boy was now riding a rigid kickreminder to do preventative maintenance on your bike. And only Shovel (yeah, no chance of any to never run an unfused hot wire, issues this time) and we both only had and fix all electrical issues before time away from work for a few days leaving for Sturgis, and don’t rake in Sturgis, but we had to do them at your bike the day before leaving different times. But as it worked out, for Sturgis, and carry a spare he was riding up there when I was primary belt, and an impact gun, riding back, and knowing his riding and a spare battery, or better yet habits and timing from his departure carry a spare motorcycle! Oh, and that morning, I figured we’d cross paths cuddle buddies are acceptable in on I-90 somewhere around Mitchell, this day of age. S.D. About 30 miles past Mitchell I still hadn’t seen him heading west, so I Nate Ullrich www.Natanic.com reached in my pocket and checked my
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Janice Brown Des Moines 2005 Heritage Softail
Laurie Boggs Elkhart 2004 Harley-Davidson Road King
Valerie Burch Newton 2012 Harley Street Glide 18 - TRMI MAY 2021
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Jess Wright is the green-eyed beauty featured this month is, who’s no stranger to modeling, and makes her first appearance in Natanic’s Pin-ups latest calendar. She’s posing on Sean Hansen’s Wide Glide, in Sean’s old barn on his property just outside of Carson. As an outdoors man, Sean has taken more liking to his fishing boat rather than his Dyna these days, leaving his Twinkie pouting in the garage, but you can see more of Jess in Natanic’s 2022 biker babe calendar, which was released this month, and available at Natanic.com
over to the fruity side for a bit and ordered a Berry Punch. This delightfully sweet drink was comprised of Tito’s vodka, champagne, pineapple juice, orange juice, lime juice, cranberry juice, all poured over ice and topped with fresh berries. Both choices were amazing…definitely in the “would order again” category.
The Grumpy Goat Tavern 810 East 1st Street Ankeny, Iowa 50021 (515) 512-2100 Open 9 am-11 pm Daily The Grumpy Goat Tavern, formerly known as Draught House 50 was rebranded in February of 2018 with four locations; Ankeny, Downtown Des Moines, and 2 in West Des Moines. Upon entering, there was ample seating both inside and out. Even a large upper patio for those so inclined. We chose a seat at a high table per the hostess’s recommendation, as she told us they were the most comfortable seats in the house. Our waitress came right over with menus and gave us a minute to ponder drink options. We visited on a Sunday, and had the option of regular menu items, as well as an expansive brunch menu and bloody Mary and mimosa bars. We spent some time perusing the many choices available to us, and both decided on opting for items from the brunch m menu. W We first ordered drinks, and though th the bloody Mary bar was tempting, w we were on two wheels, so had no in intentions of overindulging. Vernon cchose a Grumpy Michelada to aaccompany his meal. This delicious cconcoction consisted of a Dos Equis la lager over ice, blended with dill bbloody Mary mix, a dash of salsa ju juice, and a lime wedge. I crossed
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While we were enjoying the drinks, our waitress returned and took our order. Vernon ordered the Hangover Burrito. Even without a hangover, this burrito was top notch! It arrived on what would be considered a platter, loaded with bacon or sausage, scrambled eggs, and pepper jack cheese. A layer of queso over the top, garnished with mojo sauce, pico de gallo, sour cream, and salsa. This monstrous burrito also came with a side of crispy, golden tater tots on the side. If you opt for the Hangover Burrito, make sure you bring your appetite, because you definitely get your money’s worth on this one! I ordered the Sun-Up Nachos, because…well, I never had breakfast nachos before, and these sounded like a damn good idea. My platter arrived and was easily a meal meant for two. Crispy, golden waffle fries lined the entire plate, coated with queso and then piled high with sausage, bacon, onion, jalapenos, cheddar cheese, scrambled eggs, pico de gallo, sour cream, and salsa on the side. After finishing all I could from the more than generous serving I was given, I shared some with Vernon, and there was STILL plenty left over! I suggest if you opt for nachos, have a back up to help you polish off the plate! We were more than happy with our visit to the Grumpy Goat and will definitely be making a return trip to try some of the other delicious offerings we saw carried past our table. The burgers looked delicious, as well as the cheesy thin crust pizzas that rolled by…there may have to be more than one return visit in our future. When you roll through Ankeny, swing on into the Grumpy Goat Tavern for a tasty bite, or unique drink and be sure to tell them Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you! Melanie J Schwarte If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
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We all know who Marcus Luttrell is from the movie, Lone Survivor. And we’ve heard of Chris Kyle, the American Sniper. Yet I wonder if you know of Iowa’s own true American HERO? Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to Mr. John Hintz, owner of Warrior Tattoo in Waukee, IA. John finished a successful high school career at Forest City as a two-time state champion hurdler. He continued his success as an All-American athlete at Wartburg College. John then enlisted in the United States Army in 1993 as a sniper with the 82nd Airborne division. After four years at Fort Bragg, NC; John was Honorably Discharged and returned home to Iowa. 9/11 shocked our nation and motivated John to return to the Army. As an Infantry Officer, he went on Peace Keeping Missions in Panama and Saudi Arabia. Major Hintz served our nation faithfully with the 101st Airborne division & 4th Infantry division during combat tours in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Retiring in 2016, Infantry Major Hintz was the recipient of two Purple Heart Awards, sustaining injuries from an IED attack and close quarters fire during combat. He is a recipient of the Combat Infantry badge and Army Commendation Medal of Valor. Yet, his proudest military accomplishment is earning the General Douglas McArthur Award for Leadership. This award is given annually by the United States Army to officers who have demonstrated the attributes of “duty, honor, country” in their professional lives and in service to their communities. John grew up riding dirt bikes, all Hondas, and even had a 110cc 3-Wheeler. He graduated to a Suzuki GSXR-750 in his youth before settling on a 100th Anniversary Harley Davidson Road King Classic, given to him by his father. While running Warrior Tattoo, he was nearly sideswiped on the road and in 2018 made the tough decision to sell the
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bbike. Eventually, he would like to return to riding and his next bike will be a Harley “Street Glide”. As the owner of Warrior Tattoo, John specializes in military tattoos. He has customers travel from as far as Minneapolis and Kansas City simply to work with him. Booked out as far as 4 months, John works with EMT’s, police officers, firefighters, veterans and active-duty service members. One of his coolest events was when more than 50 bikers, including the Mt. Pleasant Freedom Riders, flooded his store for tattoos during the Suicide Awareness Ride. Warrior Tattoo staff, friends, and family have continued Major Hintz’s dedication to philanthropy. Their annual fundraiser for needy children and families in Iowa has donated more than $50,000 in toys to our community. They were the largest donor to the Waukee Veterans Memorial. In addition, John will be the honorary flag bearer to veterans without families as Hamilton Funeral Home performs military rites at the Iowa Veterans Cemetery for the month of June. One of John’s favorite organizations is ValorFit. This group assists veterans to ignite a new confidence once they have left the battlefield through physical fitness. Fitness builds strength, but working with fellow veterans helps build confidence and pride in oneself. As this author can attest, John’s work is simply amazing. But even more so, the man has a history of giving. Giving to his community. Giving to his Brothers and Sisters. And giving to this great nation of ours. John and his beautiful wife Jen reside in Adel. They have a blended family with four amazing children: Aidan (18), Kylie (17), Helia (17) and Kendall (13). From all of us at TRMI Mr. Hintz, thank you for your service and continue to be “Always Ready, Always There!” Shane OMalley
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My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. How do you make five pounds of fat llook ook oo k go good good? od od? d? I personally am on the fence. Put a nipple on it! A guy and his date are parked out in the country away from town, when they start kissing and fondling each other. Just then, the girl stops and sits up. “What’s the matter?” asks the guy. She replies, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a prostitute, and I charge $100 for sex.” The man thinks about it for a few seconds, but then reluctantly gets out a $100 bill, pays her, and they have sex. After a cigarette, he just sits in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asks the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before,” replies the man, “but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $50.
Two sperms are racing to reach the ovule. After a minute, one asks the other, “Hey, how much longer until we reach the ovaries?” The other answers, “Keep swimming,, fool! We haven’t even passed the hee tonsils yet!”
A woman seated herself in th tthee psychiatrist’s office. “What seems tto o be b the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, Wel ell, l, II,, l, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, mi migh might gh ht be a nymphomaniac.” “I see,” he said.. ““II ca ccan n Why did the squirrel swim on its back? help you, but I must advise you that at To keep its nuts dry. my fee is $80 an hour.” “That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for A man is standing at a grave, staring at the head stone. A all night?” second man walks up and asks, “Is this someone you knew?” The first guy says, “Yes, it was my wife.” The second guy says, During a bank robbery, the thief ’ss mask mas ask k “It must be hard to lose a wife.” The first guys replies, “Yep, slipped off. He fixed it and asked a h hostage, osta os tage ta ge,, ge damn near impossible.” “Did you see my face?” The hostage h had, d so the thief killed him. He asked the next Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his weenie responded, “No, but my wife did.” today at the playground!” Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.” There once was a man named Sweeney. He spilled some Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s mom asked, “Really gin on his weenie. That being uncouth, he dipped it in small, was it?” Sally replied, “No, salty.” Mom fainted. vermouth, and slipped his wife a dry martini. What’s the difference between a genealogist and a Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a gynecologist looks up the family bush. stroke and the third couldn’t reach. One day little Johnny walked out of his bedroom with his A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he suitcase packed. His dad asked him where he was going and went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you Johnny replied, “Last night I heard you say that you were are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That pulling out and mommy said she was coming too. I didn’t same day the man went to the store and bought himself a want to be left behind!” starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. hemorrhoids. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other the air.” replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman Two friends die. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to says every so often when he’s in the bathroom getting ready Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell up in the air so when he comes out he can’t help but have and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and sex with her. The first woman decides to try this a couple of alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, “Wow, you were weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready a son of a bitch when we were alive! Hell looks better than for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one Heaven.” So, the friend in Hell says, “Pour yourself a glass of leg up and then the other as she’s holding them shakily. Her wine.” The heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that husband comes out and exclaims, “Good Lord woman, put the glass has no bottom. The good friend looks at the bad in your teeth and brush your hair....you’re starting to look one in confusion, and the bad friend says, “The glass has no like an asshole!” bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Hell.” What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. – Pluto
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Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, “Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up.” The parents responded, “So his eye is going to be normal?” “Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little cock-eyed.” A young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied, “All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother.” “I did that already,” he said, “and that one my father didn’t like.” An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, “I should tell you I have acute angina.” The old man says, “I hope so. You sure don’t have cute tits.” A chicken and an egg are having sex. The chicken rolls off the egg and says, “I guess that answers that question.” John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.” “Wow!” said Bob, “how did you manage that?” “It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’” There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here.” The blonde replied, “I can and I will.” The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman. “Ma’am, we really can’t have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for economy.” “You can’t make me move.” The copilot told the captain, who tried to talk her out of the seat but it didn’t work. Finally, a man who had heard what had been going on told the attendant to let him have a go at getting the woman out of the seat because he was married to a blonde too, so he knew how to deal with her. After a quick chat with her, she moved. The shocked attendant asked him how he did it. The man replied, “I told her first class wasn’t going to Detroit.” Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.” A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, “What for?” The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.” The lawyer says, “I slowed down and no one was coming.” “You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration please,” say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.” The sheriff says, “That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle.” The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?” Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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For the record, according to the internet, the quote is attributed to JP Morgan (speaking of assholes).
You Have to Pay to Play... If you have to ask you can’t afford it
Just as spring was, well, springing, I was pulling my boat out of storage and before I take it home, it’s habit to just top off the gas tank. Now with a 65 gallon tank, I am used to the invoice at the pump, it’s going to be painful so I just do it and don’t think twice about it, you just pay to play.
That is a pretty stupid phrase on so many levels. Cocky too, really. We all have hobbies, vices, devices, or whatever it is that we spend money on to give us pleasure, happiness, a diversion, “If you can afford it….” Blah, blah, blah. I get the comwind therapy or whatever, we pay to play. ment. I understand the phrase. I really don’t know where it came from. A movie? A terrible 60’s pop song? A classic At the pump, I will admit, I was happy that I had more gas book, perhaps featured that line, then someone took it out than I recall being in the tank, the invoice wasn’t near what of context and it became ingrained into our mainstream lexi- I was expecting, still in the triple digits, but way lower than con? I always thought it was a snarky, assmunch response I originally anticipated. I thought, mistakenly, this spring because dammit, if you’re a person like me and always might not be as bad as I was thinking! We will be playing curious, you indeed want to know from time to time, what with my toys soon, but with some extra cash in my pocket, things do actually cost! Hell, my old man would roll line oh hell yes. out to me once in a while over something stupid, but then later when I was using something of his, likely incorrectly, Well, that is or rather was, a fleeting, a VERY fleeting point. he would say ‘DAMMIT DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH You see, I have more than one “hobby” or interest…just as THAT COST?!?’ you likely do. I mean, we all should have more than one hobby, because otherwise you’d be boring as hell to have a BTW, when those moments happen, I learned using the line beer with. back at him was a mistake, “well dad, if you have to tell me I can’t afford it”. Ever been stuck in that situation? With a grown ass adult that only has one interest and no matter how you try to find Big. out a similar connection point to get you through the conversation, you can’t, they are stuck. Maybe it’s a dude that Mistake. golfs and that is all he does…golf. The only hobby is golf. Okay, I golf, my family golfs, golf is cool. I have several friends that golf, golf conversations SHOULD go like this. Are you/did you play? Is that the beer cart girl? About all you need to talk about concerning golf. I love it, but golf is what you do while talking about other things you do. A few weeks ago, while being a club sport parent, I was making small talk with a fellow dad about shit that goes on in life. He is a much more dedicated sports dad than I am. I have said before it is awesome that my kids try as many things in life that they want and I will support all of them. Kids should. They don’t know what might motivate them, or interest them, let them try and do it, as long as they do it on their own, if they are self-motivated to try and achieve you support it, right? It teaches them to be a part of the
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team, face challenges that life brings you, and sometimes it even teaches you that you may end up working with mouth breathers that you can’t do anything about but you learn to overcome. Speaking of mouth breathers…
needed to be done. After all, you have to pay to play. My usual spring invoices seem rather high this year, or at least higher than a normal year. To be honest, I am not sure how much higher than normal and maybe its best I don’t know the true cost of my therapies. I know you have to pay to play but dammit this year playing is expensive!
So I am talking to this parent, seems like a good guy, positive sport dad, never misses a practice or game from what I ascertained. Look, you spend hours at these events, you have down time, might as well find something to do so you I am afraid to ask, I might not be able to afford it. find or try to find a common connection. But this nice guy could not bring anything to the table interesting. No matter Todd “Crash” Davis what I tried to connect to him with, it was always just being a sports dad, living vicariously via his daughter and nothing else was a topic of conversation other than how this team is. Maddening. Maybe it was me however and not him, no matter how annoyed I was at the time. Because we have to pay to play. You see, last fall when I put my bike away for the winter, it flat out would not run. I knew it was a fuel issue, not sure what the issue was but maddening as any rider would attest. All winter, while in storage, I knew my bike wouldn’t run. Sure, we spent most of the winter up to our prostates in snow piles and the riding season was nowhere close, and sure there was so much snow piled up around my storage unit where the bike was I couldn’t have touched it if I had the time, but that is not the point. I would randomly remember that my dang bike was not working right now and there is nothing I could do about it. The same weekend I pulled my boat out, my bike was actually on the service rack at my brother in laws. It’s nice when you can do your own stuff, its better when you have a family member that is way smarter and more talented than you are…that is what I have. Now, while I was stranded at club sport parent hell, I could only think about getting the parts for my bike, the weather was changing quickly and dammit, I needed to swing over a leg and freaking roll… and I can’t. The entire time I was expecting a text to tell me what was wrong and how much it was going to be. I didn’t even care how much, I just wanted to roll! Instead I got the message that the wrong part showed up, the clutch also needs fixed, of course we need an oil change, brakes are bad and oh yea, I need new tires. Funny thing is I sorta was mentally prepared for some, if not all of that, it was stuff that just Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Friday Wednesday 2nd Ave Bike Night Des Moines (2nd Wednesday MaySeptember) Bea’s Place Baxter Cruise Night Britt (3rd Wed Jul-Sep) The OP Clear Lake Supper Rides Harley-Davidson of Carroll (5-19,6-16) Dinner Rides Zylstra Harley-Davidson Ames
Saturday Viking Customs Bike Night Atlantic (Last Sat Apr-Sep)
Sunday
Thursday Edwards Bikes on the Hundred Block Council Bluffs (3rd Thursday) Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays) Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe Wild Hogs Saloon & Eatery Walford (3rd Thursday) Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-Sep) Harley-Davidson of Carroll (5-6,6-10) East of Omaha Bike Night Griswold (May-Aug)
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Centerville Bike Nights (4th Friday May-Aug) R Place Pub & Pizza Kelley (2nd Friday May-Sep) Friday Night Bikes Prairie City Bike Night (3rd Friday AprSep) Bondurant Bike Night at the Rails (4th Friday Apr-Sep) Hawk Heaven Tavern Altoona (1st Friday May-Aug)
Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May) Road Rage Fun Run at The Exchange Avoca (4th Sunday May-Sep) The Tama Pump (Sunday June-September) St Charles Bike Night The Talk Shop Lounge St Charles (2nd Sunday except Aug) This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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2021 Apr 24 Apr 25
Two Rivers VMC 11th Annual Birthday Party Des Moines Annual Sgt James C Kearney III Memorial Motorcycle Run Emerson Apr 30-May 1 Vintage Torque Fest Dubuque May 1 10th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone May 1 15th Annual Chrome Divas Awareness Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids May 1 Blessing of the Bikes Newton American Legion Newton May 2 3rd Annual Blessing of the Bikes Muscatine May 6-9 Swap Meet/Flea Market SpringConesville May 7-9 World of Wheels Chicago May 8 F&J Racing 25th FINALE Blessing of the Bikes Marshalltown May 8 Blessing of the Bikes/PGI Riders Metro HD Cedar Rapids May 15 ABATE D16 Annual Motorcycle Awareness Ride & Canned Food Drive Cedar Falls May 15 Swing for the Hills Benefit Run LHHD Pacific Junction May 21-22 Demo Days Big Barn Harley-Davidson Des Moines May 21-23 Donnie Smith Show St Paul, MN May 22 Paul Teutul SR Special Appearance Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction May 22 Blessing of the Bikes HD of Carroll May 22 Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola May 23 Bike Blessing Northwest Christian Church Council Bluffs May 27-30 Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville May 28-31 Veterans Memorial Day Run Midway Tavern Soldier May 29 Running Over Covid Motorcycle Fun Run, Bike Show, Blessing Clear Lake May 29 Sexual Trauma ride for Hero Metro HD Cedar Rapids May 30 Thunder on the Missouri 7 Honor Ride to Vietnam Memorial Wall American Legion Sergeant Bluff Jun 5 Road Rage Bike Works Biker Bash Celebrating 5 Years Avoca Jun 5 Veterans Benefit Ride Shellsburg American Legion Jun 5 Patti’s Riders 4 Thrivers Poker Run Council Bluffs Jun 5 Ride for Darcy Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jun 6 Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa Jun 12 Poker Ride for the Sons of AMVETS Post 41 Rockwell City Jun 12 Roar Into Harlan Fun Run Gooznann’s Westside Bar Harlan Jun 12 Steve Martin Ride for a Cure Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jun 18-20 Rumble in the Sand June Conesville Jun 19 7th Annual Children’s Cancer Unit Poker Run Council Bluffs Jun 19 ALR Blackjack Run Council Bluffs Jun 19 Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Jun 19 Hometown Heroes Memorial Ride Rockwell City Jun 19 Hero Suicide Awareness Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jun 26 Chasin’ Tails 9th Annual Motorcycle Fun Run Cambridge Jun 26 Vintage Motorcycle Swap Meet National Motorcycle Museum Anamosa Jun 26 5th Annual Ride to Fight Suicide Colona, IL Jun 26 Sarak Mok Memorial Ride Des Moines Jun 26 Chains Interrupted Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 1-3 ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona Jul 2-3 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt Jul 3 The Road Not Taken Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 9-10 8th Annual Combat Veterans Chapter 39-3 APR Benefit Ride/ Cruise Elkport Jul 10 14th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca
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Jul 10 Jul 10 Jul 10 Jul 15-17 Jul 17 Jul 17 Jul 23-25 Jul 24 Jul 24 Aug 20-22 Aug 7 Aug 14 Aug 14 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 21 Aug 28 Aug 28 Aug 28 Sep 2-4 Sep 2-5 Sep 4 Sep 3-6 Sep 11 Sep 12 Sep 17-19 Sep 18 Sep 18 Sep 19 Sep 25 Oct 7-10 Oct 15-17
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Scavenger Fun Ride Vic’s Main Tap Audubon 15th Annual Angel Ride to Save the TaTas Fort Dodge PGI Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 2021 River City Motorcycle Challenge LHHD Pacific Junction 8th Annual Ride 4 Time Annual Poker Run Baxter Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Heartland Rally by the Christian Motorcyclists Association Ft. Dodge 3rd Annual Pine Lake Festival Motorcycle and Vendor Show Steamboat Rock Solidarity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Rumble in the Sand August Conesville CVMA Patriot Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 3rd Annual Cancer Sucks Car, Truck, & Bike Show Council Bluffs LT Ride for Babies Metro HD Cedar Rapids Kyle’s Mile 7.Suicide Awareness/ Prevention Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Movie Day Featuring “Easy Rider” at Harlan Theater sponsored by Roar Into Harlan VFW Post 9662 Poker Run Des Moines Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola ALR Run Council Bluffs 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness Association 6th Year Poker Run Council Bluffs Cruising for a Cure (Cystic Fibrosis) Metro HD Cedar Rapids Antique Motorcycle Swap Meet Davenport Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Heid Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 23rd Annual Midway Tavern Labor Day Rally & Soldier Firefighter Fundraiser Soldier Mean Machine “Smalltown Throwdown” Burnouts & Stereo Comp Elkhart Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa Rumble in the Sand September Conesville 9th Annual BOCA Ride Cedar Rapids Route 65 HD BBQ Open House Indianola Concours de Cornfield Earlham 2nd Annual Suicide Awareness Run Decatur, NE Swap Meet/Flea Market Autumn Conesville Cash in the Corn Drags & Halloweenie Party Conesville
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