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TR T RM MII M ARC AR ARCH CH H 2021 200221 - 3 TRMI MARCH
As we are coming out ooff w winter int nter err aand nd nd hopefully preparing for sp sspring, prriing ng, I looked up the 2021 March arch ar h temperature forecast. I w was as as pleasantly surprised to see a general higher than n normal temperature range ggee for March of this year. I know that forecasts seem to be no better than a guess at some points, but that to me is at least a positive si sign sign gn that I am going to grab on on to and hold on tight. I aam m about tired of snow, tired ed d ooff winter, and tired of cold, but cannot do much to change it so just trying to hang on. The days have been becoming noticeably longer, and that is an awesome sign of what we have coming, and that brighter days are ahead! Daylight Savings Time changes our clocks here in March, and the official 1st day of spring will come and go in March, so there is some hope for two wheeled therapy on the horizon! I know that I cannot wait to be able to get out even for a short little putt, even if just around town at this point would be awesome. Even though riding around town here in Kimballton, the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa Worldwide Corporate Headquarters only takes about 2.3 minutes, and that is hitting each street twice, it is still an enjoyable ride around town! Get out when you can and ride, enjoy the warming temperatures of spring, and get ready for an awesome 2021 riding season! As we are all waiting semi-patiently for the weather to break, keep in mind that with the events of the past year, some of your favorite haunts if still open may be reeling from the effects of restrictions and closures. If you are the type to go out and about and live your life, do so safely, and try to darken the door of the events, the shops, the dealerships, the bars, the restaurants, and every other retail place that you can and show them some love. This past year has been very difficult for many people, but life has to continue, business has to occur, and people need
interaction. We all need to move forward and live our lives. If you are not the type to go out and about for whatever reasons, it is totally cool, but try to still support those that have been there for you in the past. Order online, share posts, be supportive, eat take out, whatever it takes to keep the mom and pop types of places open and operating in the world we live in now. On the topic of the world we live in now, which I am not particularly happy with at any given time, but still want to be a decent human being. I was thinking about all of the things that bikers do for others that often times goes unnoticed. I was also thinking about all the terrible mindless drivel that spouts from some people’s mouths and social media accounts. How about we try to toot our own horns a bit when we do stuff for other people for no benefit of our own? When you do so, make sure that you tell someone about it. Whether you call your bestie and tell them, post it on your social media, text it to a group of friends, or make note of it when gathering with friends, make it known when bikers are doing good things for other people. If you don’t want to toot your own horn, share about what someone else has done to make the world a brighter place for other humans. Iowa bikers are some of the nicest people you will ever meet anywhere, so maybe make a point to let people know what we do. Be a good Iowa Biker, be a good neighbor, be a good person, and make small steps to make the world a better place. We can lead by example and a elevate the biker world above all the t bad BS and show others how to shine. Be a Righteous Iowa Biker, I s dare ya! d Be B safe out there! Vernon Schwarte V Editor, Thunder Roads Magazine of E Iowa I Quote of the Month: “I pledge Q allegiance to the flag of the United a States of America and to the Republic S for f which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and G justice for all.” j
On the Cover March cover girl, Amy makes this sexy green Road King owned by Don Wiles look even better. Our good friend and Missouri Valley, Iowa native, Mark Fountain was kind enough to snap this sensual shot for us on a warm summer day. Here’s to hoping that this gets you through to this year’s warmer weather…bring on riding season! 4 - TRMI MARCH 2021
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I have to admit, it’s been hard to be cheery with all that’s been taking place. Reading the paper is a downer; listening to the news on the radio or television - straight to the pit. I’ve been looking at the latest cancellations for our bike events - two more meets gone; the weather report says we need to be gearing up for below zero temps; the price at the gas pump going up like a taxi cab meter in a foreign city; the weaponization of seemingly unending new executive orders; trampling of the Constitution; the re-funding of the killing of babies; men can now compete in sports as women; we are told “No mask, no service”; and Oh… the more masks you wear the better. The book of Galatians states in chapter 6 verse 7 “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap”. Feel better yet? I may wear my support dog out just getting through this article. He keeps whining and trying to sneak off. It’s hard not to despair all the while longing for things to go back the way they were so we can live a normal life. But I guess like Val Kilmer said while playing Doc Holiday, “There is no normal life Wyatt. It’s just life. Get on with it”. Seems there is this virus thing going on that just won’t quit. “Never let a crisis go to waste,” as Saul Alinsky said. While there is no doubt our country and the rest of the world is definitely sick and as bad as the Chinese virus is, the most deadly virus we are experiencing is a spiritual disease, a virus of the soul. Unlike the one that can make you sick and possibly kill the body, the other has eternal ramifications. This disease is something that has been incubating a long time now, from the time of the fall of man. Satan would love to see us isolated, anxiety ridden, fearful and defeated. The virus continues to rise to the surface in various forms attempting to overwhelm and destroy but I guess sometimes we have to be exposed to the disease to build antibodies and be able to withstand and heal. I have a friend who used to race road bikes on the big courses and as a result, he continually broke lots of things like body parts and motorcycle parts. Personally, I never have had the desire to go that fast on a motorcycle, especially while dragging pieces of my body on the pavement, but he seemed to enjoy and excel. After a race, his mechanic would scrape things up and put new parts on his bike tweaking this, adjusting that, and making improvements so he could race again. When the mechanic finished and the parts and labor were paid for my friend didn’t turn around and say “Looks great; thanks. Now put the old broken stuff back on.” While we would all agree that wouldn’t be a very smart thing to do, that’s often what we try with the Lord. We want him to fix or change us but then we want go back to the old way of living. Putting our old parts back on. This friend also said that while racing, he would look in the mirror and see someone coming up on him and he just hated to be overtaken. This reminded me of the scripture in Deuteronomy where it told of when it was a good thing to be overtaken. Deuteronomy 28:2: “And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God.” That’s the key, the obedient relationship with the Lord that only comes through knowing Jesus. It is a very personal thing and you have to be in God’s word and pray to have and keep this relationship healthy. You can’t do it second-hand just like you can’t have a healthy relationship with your wife if you only take and leave phone messages 6 - TRMI MARCH 2021
every so often but never see or spend any real time with her. The thing is, we all experience brokenness many times in life, but God is faithful. He may not fix everything the way we think things should be fixed. He may even remove something while performing that work in us, but through it all he renews the broken parts. We need to trust in that work and not pick up the old pieces. Desire to be overtaken by His blessings. The Bible tells us that where sin abounds grace abounds all the more. In the original language it would be better translated as “super abounds, way over the top”. Amen. Blessings, Mark Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
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The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400 fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com
Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines 1500 E Army Post Road Des Moines, Iowa 50315 515-256-9062 Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com
National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org
Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google
Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook
Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12
Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net
Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights
Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
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J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
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Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165 Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook! Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMSandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB
Hobbies & Collectibles
Photo and Art
Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Halls Cast Stone 25211 Monarch Trail Bloomfield, Iowa 52537 641-777-8027 www.hallscaststone.com
Insurance & Financial O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
Guns and Ammo
TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Blackwell Gas 431 3rd Street Manilla, Iowa 51454 712-654-2812 Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278 Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
The Open Road Bar & Grill 501 Ann Street Irwin, Iowa 51446 712-782-4545 The Open Road, Bar and Grill, LLC on FB
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Services
Shops & Fabricators
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
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Eagle Motorsports 1425 Washington Street Eldora 641-939-1461 hotrod70@mchsi.com Eagle Motorsports on Facebook
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
SHOP EQUIPMENT Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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Scooter Tramp
RAMBLINGS
Daytona
options, we decided to swap it out with a manual petcock, but before all that, Clyde simply pulled the vacuum line off I feel like a broken record sometimes… It seems and blew into it a few times, which seemed to fix the issue. like every month I make the comment “if you’ve been After playing with it a bit, the switch never acted up again, following my stories in past TRMI issues,” but I suppose so the spare petcock and a large Crescent wrench went in it’s my effort to tie in all my bullshit with whatever the the saddlebags, and we were heading down the road! We subject is at the moment. This is another one of those did make it south of St. Louis, but it was nearly midnight, times… I’ve spoken of Daytona and Sturgis both in the however past, and I’m never shy to say Sturgis is my favorite over the next Daytona. Quite honestly, after my experience with cops and couple days attitudes, along with all the blatant commercialization I saw were in the in 2002, I never had any interest in going back. But in the 60’s and same breath, Sturgis has become just as bad on all that, if 70’s for not worse, but I guess I just know Sturgis better. the rest of the ride to So with Daytona being this month, I figured I’d Daytona. spout-off my experience and opinions on Bike Week this month. 1996 was my first experience with Daytona, when my friend Pat had plans to go down. Him and I rode to Sturgis together the year before, first time for both of us, and I didn’t really think much about the fact that he was going to Daytona and I wasn’t, until right before Bike Week. I wasn’t really jealous that he was going, but I’d just turned 21, so I was anxious to see everything that the motorcycle world had to offer! Theresa and I had just started dating, and we got this wild idea to load my Honda (only bike I had at the time) in my old van and drive straight down there for the weekend. We left at 3:30pm on Thursday, and after setting up camp just north of Daytona, we were on Main Street at 6pm on Friday. With no heat in my van, we left Iowa in an ice storm, which luckily turned to rain just south of the Quad Cities, but it took us nearly the entire drive to get ahead of that storm. Then once on Main Street, it caught up to us, leaving us soaked on the trip back to camp. That meant for a chilly weekend (for Florida anyway) but we dealt with it, and I was back at work at 3pm Monday in Iowa to ask Pat how it was and show him my T-shirt! 3 years later, my friend Clyde and I decided a Daytona trip was needed, but only if we were riding down and back. I was just getting started with the national biker magazines, and I was itching to send a beach photo-shoot to one of them. We had contingency plans in case we hit snow or ice going down or back, and at 9am on Feb 26th, 1999 it was a mild day for the season and roads were clear. Clyde rode to my place from the Chicago suburbs the night before, and I had my Heritage packed and ready. Things looked great to get south of St. Louis before dark, buy my Heritage (at only 2 years old) wouldn’t start. Come to find out the VOES switch for the petcock had a recall that I never received notice about, and it picked the perfect time to cause issues for the first time. After getting some breakfast and weighing 14 - TRMI MARCH 2021
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We partied all week, made some new friends, and I got my photo-shoot in before we left to head back home on March 5th. Clyde and I were never afraid to haul ass as long and hard as we could, and we made an effort to get a good night’s sleep before we were on the road at 6am. We skipped breakfast and opted for snacks at the first gas stop, where Clyde mentioned riding straight home, as long as the weather held up. It’s about a 1250 mile ride, and I was all for the idea, but we hit rain just south of Nashville, and by the time we hit Paducah, Kentucky, it got the best of us. But that rain was 3 inches of snow at home, so we knew the next day was gonna be sketchy. We hit some light blowing snow coming north through Illinois, but the roads were melted and dry, and at 8pm on March 6th we pulled into my garage with an outside temperature of a mere 21 degrees!
Come 2002, Theresa had her motorcycle license and we trailered my Heritage and Honda down to Daytona for that trip. Had a lot of fun, spent a lot time on the beach, and met up with our friend “Bad Dad” from Wisconsin to party on Main Street. I managed to get in another beach photo-shoot with Theresa near Jacksonville, where we could actually find a location that was somewhat secluded, or so we thought, for some more “revealing” photos, but beach patrol made a pass through to announce their presence! That year the fat tire chopper/West Coast Choppers TV craze was just taking hold, and in my opinion it really changed the mentality of people attending Daytona. There were far too many people who were there simply because they thought they might be on TV, rather than people who just wanted to enjoy a bike rally. The cops seemed to notice the fad too, and were hassling people a lot more than I’d ever seen, and the commercialization of damn near everything was flat-out annoying. So after that year, I never had any real intent to go back. I still feel the same way about Daytona, even more so actually, but the fact that Sturgis is the same way these days has me more used to it, I guess. Fast forward to 2018, when I left my fulltime job to travel the country on 2 wheels, and help fulfill the pages of this magazine more regularly. Working on bikes for Fix Cycle in Sturgis that year also presented me the opportunity to work in Daytona in 2019, which was my first trip back since 2002. I again rode to Biketoberfest in October that year as part of my 48 States story, and then I worked for Fix Cycle again last year in Daytona. These last 3 trips had been intended mainly for work (and some fun on the side) but aside from Biketoberfest, the other 2 likely would not have happened if I wasn’t working. My concerns from 2002 are even more apparent, and we’re now blessed with the nuisance of the loud stereo big wheel bagger bandwagon, making things border line unbearable. Yeah, I get that’s what some people like, but people who truly enjoy biker rallies as they were intended, don’t enjoy the latest fads. All my personal opinions aside, I still manage to have fun, and in my last 3 trips I’ve found that Surfside Tavern is now my favorite Daytona area bar, and is conveniently only 1 block from Eryka’s house where I stay. So with every trip we get a chance to party with Eryka and hang at the Surfside, even if I am exhausted from work. Dana and the crew from Siouxicide Choppers in Sioux City have been doing handlebar installs down there the last couple years, and some other good friends from here in eastern Iowa have been making the trip in recent years, so I’ve always gotta familiar face to party with. As it turns out, I will be down there again as you’re reading this, but I’ve been presented a new opportunity to wrench on bikes for J&P Cycles instead. Regardless, you can likely find me sitting at the Surfside Tavern nearly every night after work. And if these photos seem a bit “dated” that’s because they are all from my trips in 1996, 1999, and 2002, and scanned from printed photos, as I wasn’t blessed with the luxury of a digital camera back then. Nate Ullrich www.Natanic.com
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Autumn Deemer Eldora 2012 Dyna Wide Glide
Joey Adams Mediapolis 2013 Heritage Softail
Tammy Burrell Perry 2003 Harley Davidson Fat Boy 16 - TRMI MARCH 2021
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Jesse Coco Cunningham loaned his bike to the lovely Stephanie for what turned out to be yet another stellar photo shoot with
Jesse Coco Cunningham loaned his bike to the lovely Stephanie for what turned out to be yet another stellar photo shoot with Mark Fountain. Seeing Stephanie atop this slick black Softail sure does wonders to break up the late winter douldrums.
to our table, they looked amazing. Crispy egg roll wrappers surrounded tender corned beef, juicy sauerkraut, and gooey Swiss cheese. Of course, the dipping sauce was Thousand Island dressing, to round out the Reuben experience. They were the perfect combination of crunch and hot cheesy goodness to kick off our meal.
Whiskey River 1350 SW Vintage Pkwy Ankeny, Iowa 50023 (515) 802-7250 Open 7 days a week 11 am-2 am
Vernon and I were out and about running errands and decided that it was well past time for vittles, so I did a little googling and we ended up on the steps of Whiskey River. The first thing we noticed upon entering the spacious dining room was that it looked to be a place for just about everyone. Sports on TV if you want to watch, music overhead, pool tables, HUGE outdoor patio, and the piece de resistance….an AMAZING looking Bloody Mary Bar. We soon learned that the Bloody Mary Bar is a part of Sunday Funday and that for just $10 you get a 3 egg omelet, hash browns, Texas toast, (or biscuits and gravy) and one trip through the Bloody Mary Bar. IF breakfast isn’t your thing, Sunday Funday doesn’t end there. From 6 pm til 2 am you can get 20 wings for $14, and pool is free all night! They also feature a ton of local and craft beers, whiskey Wednesday will get you $3 Whiskey and Cokes, and on Fridays you can kick off your weekend with free chips and salsa and $3 domestic bottles from 3pm-6pm.
Vernon took a brief visit at the tenderloin station, before deciding to go all out and choose something that he had never ordered in a restaurant before…the bologna sandwich. I know, I know... bologna? What in the actual hell, Vernon? Well, let me tell you, this is not your grandma’s bologna sandwich. This item is on Whiskey River’s seasonal specials list, and it is an Ulrich Pella Bologna Sandwich. This fancy bologna came piled high with melted smoked Gouda cheese on soft Italian bread. Vernon upgraded from French fries to crispy tots, and he was off to the races. I chose a French Dip for my sandwich. It came on a buttered, toasted hoagie roll and was piled high with tender, juicy, perfectly seasoned steak a layer of melted provolone cheese covered the delicious steak. I opted to stick with the French fries, and boy am I glad that I did. A more than generous portion of crispy, battered and seasoned fries arrived alongside my sandwich perfection. The fries were some of the best I have had in a long time.
Whiskey River has daily specials for lunch, daily happy hour specials, seasonal menu specials, house specials….honestly, I felt pretty special myself just being there. All items are cooked to order, so you know your food will be fresh and delicious. I hear they even make their own potato chips to order. When you plan your visit to Whiskey River, do yourself a favor and peruse the menu ahead of time at whiskeyriverankeny.com. There are so many delicious options; you may want to do a little research before arriving. And when you get there, be sure to tell them Thunder Roads sent you!
Whiskey River offers a full daily menu, salads, unique appetizers and burgers, and a variety of sandwiches. To be Melanie J Schwarte honest, we were already considering our next visit on the walk back to the If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me truck because there were just too many temptations on the know at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com menu to warrant only one visit. As an appetizer we went completely outside of our normal wheelhouse and ordered the Rueben eggrolls. When our waitress carried them out Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 20 - TRMI MARCH 2021
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If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with bottom was all shrivelled up and she she smelled sme mell llled lled four people is called a foursome, I guess now it’s clear why like old dead fish. She was alwayss everyone calls me handsome. losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage I used her, her hole got bigger and jacket, You can hide but you can’t run. she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking ng A man goes for his annual checkup. After words he’s sitting for a good time. I warned them that at in the doctor’s office and the doctor comes in with the she wasn’t very good, but they wanted ed results of his tests. The doctor says, “I have some bad news; to use her anyhow. The fools tried to o ge gett you have cancer and you also Alzheimer’s.” The man replies, in her all at once and she split right u up p th the he “well, at least I don’t have cancer.” middle!” The old lady fainted. My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. A cop sees an old woman carryingg Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That’s the best two large sacks. One of the sacks I’ve done so far. has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman,, “Where did an old lady like you gett al alll of There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 that money?” She replies, “Well, th there’s ther ere’ er e’ss e’ parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the a golf course behind my house and d when when smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an golfers need to go to the bathroom, they th old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need stick their penis through a hole in my fence and me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so grabbed my backpack.” what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…” A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. “Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.” The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. “Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise. “Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!” “Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!” My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian told me to take it out. Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. “Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her 26 - TRMI MARCH 2021
“I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to me always whispers in my ear, “You’re next.” So I started doing the same to them at funerals, “You’re next.” Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget. Doctor: “Does your penis burn after intercourse?” Patient: “I don’t know. I never tried lighting it.” A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out. The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him. The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!” The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try
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it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
“Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.” The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born.” The third baby comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Daisy?” The momma cow again replied” Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.” The final baby walks over and says, “Huh Ruh Buh Duh!” The momma cow says, “Shut up, Two men walked into a bar and one man Cinderblock!” asked for H20 and the other man asked for H20 too. Only one man came out alive. A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The raise some money, she decided to kidnap woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her a kid and hold him for ransom. She went nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde The woman thought, “This is great!” and a big smile came then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t hesitate. She let checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the at the dog and yelled, “Dammit, Ginger!” Once again, the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a woman smiled and thought, “Yes!” A few minutes later the fellow Blonde?” woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass and yelled, “Dammit, Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!” Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? – To keep his ankles warm. If you ever fart in public, just yell, “Turbo power!” and walk faster. A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” …“She’s playing on the roof.”
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.” An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
A kid asks his dad, “what is between mom’s legs?” His Dad replies, “paradise.” The kid asks, “what’s between your legs?” Dad responds, “the key to paradise.” The kid says, “well you A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic better change the lock because the neighbor has the key too.” says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn’t the neatest Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it. eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, “Looks like you blew a seal.” “No,” the penguin I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold insists, “it’s just ice cream.” coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden. What did one butt cheek say to the other? There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four Together, we can stop this crap. baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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I am rather certain it MIGHT be the medication. This is a really weird feeling. I mean, it’s not something I am even close to feeling and it’s not something I am sure that I can embrace. Do I talk to a doctor? Perhaps seek medication? After all, I have spent enough circles around this sun to understand at least the rudimentary forms of self-medication… don’t judge! All in moderation. Well, moderately most of the time. I mean, it’s just freaking me out, but in a good way. Okay, sorry if I was being a bit cryptic about all of this. It’s just that I am in a good place right now and I am not used to this at all, not in any way, shape or form. Things are good. And that is the problem. So, a bit of back story…a few weeks ago, before I started cranking out this must-read article for the boss of bosses at Thunder Roads Iowa (that is why that have me near the end of the magazine you know, because they know you will look at all the pages in order to turn enough of them to find the printed works I create for this publication every month, I mean that has to be the reason right? What else could explain I am near the back? You have to earn your way to find me. At least that is what I tell myself and soon, I may just believe it). Anyway, around the third week of 2021, I have a Facebook memory pop up one morning whilst enjoying a cup of French Roast, doing my damn best not to listen to the news that was playing in the background. The memory was actually a post from my lovely JJ Sweetie, marking the day I was headed home from the hospital after getting my chemo port removed. I spaced the date completely. How do you forget something like that? But I did, I didn’t even think about it. It was the third anniversary of the end of my cancer recovery for colorectal cancer, the cap of a wild, hard, shitty, intense year. It gave me pause. Mostly again because I spaced the day off completely, it didn’t register, but once I read it, I double checked the date. 2018? Three years ago? I couldn’t comprehend if that was just three years ago or a lifetime ago. It really seems like ancient history for me because I do my best to never think about it, to never look back. To block that shitstorm of a year out of my mental hard drive, only to return to thought when people ask. Oh, I get asked about it quite a bit and that is fine, I never get upset about it, and still do my best to be positive and to remind people, get your ass checked out, it’s the surest way to survive that type of cancer. That moment I thought about it for just a brief moment and went right back to the mindset I had been in, one that I am not good at…Things are good. 28 - TRMI MARCH 2021
As I crank out the words for this column, you know, the one you only find near the back because you have to work for it, as I crank this out, we are about to have a blast of freaking super cold weather. Below zero…the question your sanity kind, the kind when cars won’t start, trucks gel, your furnace never stops churning, and if you have a wood burner or fireplace, it eats wood like a fat kid devours cake after he breaks in after hours to the local cake factory. Wicked. Cold. Little House on the Prairie “Pa, I don’t think the horse is gonna make it in the barn” cold. Needless to say, no bikes are going to be ridden anytime in the near future. Normally, I would pontificate about how completely miserable I am this time of the year, as a matter of fact, over the years I have written on these hallowed, award winning pages about how much I DETEST the month of February and it really serves no benefit at all. Rarely can one ride a bike in my longitude or latitude, I am weeks from getting my boat out of storage, cabin fever is setting in like I am an extra in the movie “The Shining” and I am generally a miserable prick to my family. I think they actually gird their mental state for my lack of mental state, or just being mental. But not this year, I am in a good place and I have no idea why! Look, we all have been there, sometimes life’s bench vice just decides to give our nuts a nice hard, painful squeeze to remind us that it can and that you can’t have nice things all the time. Good times come with you taking the occasional shot to the nads. It’s ebb and flow, the way nature works. I am sure the Dali has some quote about it as well, but it happens. When it does, we can curl up like a little bitch, or we can swing a leg over our machine, feel that throttle, smell that exhaust, kickstands up, tire pointed forward and let go of that clutch and the mental cleansing will commence. If we don’t, we might end up self-medicating to deal with it which is one big reason I ride. To escape the bullshit. So here we are, middle of a Polar Vortex, at the time of this creation, I have no cool adventure plans, no trips coming up, no motorized projects to keep my focus, and surely no bike waiting to have its cover ripped off like a tube top looking for beads. And yet I am in a good spot. Sure, I can’t wait to ride, I’m looking forward to getting my boat out of storage, I’m looking forward to a great small-town burger, cold beer and laughs along the way on my bike. I can’t wait…But this year I am good. I am just rolling along. Maybe I over self-medicated Todd “Crash” Davis
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ere it is February and I am writing this for the H March issue. Like most of you I keep looking for the warmer weather and the fun of riding
season. But there is not too much time to sit around and daydream about warmer weather here at ABATE. Right now we are in the full swing with the legislative session and the bills have been rolling in. We have been working on and watching a minor helmet bill and a lemon law bill just to name a couple.
e had our ABATE lobby day at the capital on February 16, 2021 and we are waiting to W see if we are able to send an ABATE lobby group
out to Washington D.C. this year. What are you as a member of the riding community able to do to help protect your rights as a rider? First off, if you are not already a member, join ABATE of Iowa and join the MRF (Motorcycle Rider Foundation) these are two of the best groups that work hard to protect your rights as motorcyclist. ow as you are thinking of the warmer weather N you might start thinking about the best biker party in the Midwest and that of course is the
37th annual ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally on July 1st,2nd, and 3rd 2021. And we know one of the biggest questions we always get from attendees is going to be what bands are scheduled to perform. So if you missed our Facebook live event announcing the bands, here they are. Moonshine Bandits, Sevendust, Eddie Montgomery of Montgomery Gentry, and Granger Smith. Additional bands performing on the main stage are 303 Band, Jammer, Austin Meade, Royal Bliss, and Saucy Jack. Then the bands in the beer barn are People Like You, Diablo Sammich, Deja Blue, 303 Band, Ice Breakers, Jammer, and Mr. Sinister. With a line up like this scheduled, this will be another great rally and you won’t want to miss it! So get you tickets online today.
ntil next time, we will see you down the road. U David Duffy ABATE of Iowa State Coordinator
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Aug 20-22 Aug 21 Aug 28 Sep 2-5 Sep 3-6 2021 Feb 25-27 Feb 27-28 5 Mar 6 Mar 12-14 Mar 20 Mar 27-28 Apr 11 Apr 16-18 Apr 17 May 1 May 1 May 6-9 May 7-9 May 8 May 22 May 27-30 May 28-31 Jun 5 Jun 12 Jun 18-20 Jun 19 Jun 19 Jul 1-3 Jul 15-17 Jul 24
Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE 2nd Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Iron, Ink & Ammo Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction World of Wheels Omaha ABATE D8 St. Patty’s Game Night Greenville 34th Annual North Iowa Expo Mason City Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL Opening Drag Weekend Conesville Swap Meet Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction 10th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone 15th Annual Awareness Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Swap Meet/Flea Market SpringConesville World of Wheels Chicago F&J Racing 25th FINALE Blessing of the Bikes Marshalltown Paul Teutul SR Special Appearance Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Veterans Memorial Day Run Midway Tavern Soldier Road Rage Bike Works Biker Bash Celebrating 5 Years Avoca Poker Ride for the Sons of AMVETS Post 41 Rockwell City Rumble in the Sand June Conesville 7th Annual Children’s Cancer Unit Poker Run Council Bluffs ALR Blackjack Run Council Bluffs ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona 2021 River City Motorcycle Challenge LHHD Pacific Junction 3rd Annual Pine Lake Festival Motorcycle and Vendor Show Steamboat Rock
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Sep 17-19 Sep 18 Oct 7-10 Oct 15-17
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Rumble in the Sand August Conesville Kyle’s Mile 7.Suicide Awareness/ Prevention Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids ALR Run Council Bluffs Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville 23rd Annual Midway Tavern Labor Day Rally & Soldier Firefighter Fundraiser Soldier Rumble in the Sand September Conesville 9th Annual BOCA Ride Cedar Rapids Swap Meet/Flea Market Autumn Conesville Cash in the Corn Drags & Halloweenie Party Conesville
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