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TR T RMI MI JJANUARY AN A NUARY UA U ARY RY 2021 202 021 - 3 TRMI
Holy shit! How in the hell did d we we make it to 2021? I guess maybe yybbe be I am speaking too soon as I am actually ually ally al y typing this on deadline day forr th tthe he January issue, which is in middDecember. These magazines will hit the shelves right before Christmas, so I hope that my comments about making it to the new year are not ill timed. I am sure it will all be fine though, ughh, and we will all see the calendar a ar change over to 2021 and we w will ill il get rolling with the next in a series of phenomenal occurrences. That is sure as hell what I am going with anyway. I have a lot of high hopes for good things in the coming years, and to a great extent, I know that each and every one of us is in charge of our futures. Don’t just sit back and let life pass you by, make the choice to live life to the fullest, whatever that means for each and every one of you. On that note, a new year brings new thoughts for a better future. I sure as hell hope that we can build upon the train wreck that we called 2020. Some people like to make some resolutions for the new year, as in they make a firm decision to do something or stop doing something. I get that mentality, but how about instead of an empty resolution, something that will get ditched by the 3rd day of the new year, we make a vow to make this year the one that we want. Vow, solemnly promise, take an oath, enter into a covenant, or just make it happen, but choose to do more, be more, and live more. Vow to stand up for our rights. Promise to take care of one’s self in a manner that we see fit without outside forces telling us what to do and what not to do. Take an oath to be a better, stronger, and wiser person and keep your head on a swivel and watch out for things around us that can cut us down. Enter into a covenant with those around you to watch their backs as they watch yours. Be or become the person that you want to be. Take no shit, spare no expense,
live like it is your last days on earth, and enjoy the ride while you can. Life is only a temporary affliction, live, love, and enjoy it. Take a vow to kick ass in 2021. We feel wholeheartedly for those that have suffered financially in the past year. We as well have felt the same effects to the pocketbook as many other people and businesses. We have had sponsors of the magazine that have been forced to drop from our pages, and some that have had to close doors. Some of them have been temporary, but others have had to throw in the towel. We feel for those that will never have a chance to have their businesses recover, but understand why it became too difficult to keep on keeping on. We thank those that have kept reading, we also thank those that have sponsored the magazine and supported us in the past, and wish you all well with future endeavors. We really would like to send a heart felt thank you to those that have been able to stick with us through everything the past has thrown our way. Without our sponsors and supporters, we could not have weathered this storm so far, and we are eternally grateful for that. Thank you for the past support and we look forward to working with you in the future as well. Let us make 2021 a great year that exceeds all expectations! Let’s work together to make it great! Ride it like ya stole it! Vernon Quote of the Month: “When you do nothing you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.” Maya Angelou
On the Cover
Thanks to my dad, my love for riding began at a very young age. I purchased my first Harley 16 years ago as I longed for the freedom, fun, camaraderie and adventures that can only be experienced on a bike. Over the years I have taken a strong interest in documenting all our twowheeled adventures and trips on film to share on my blog. Riding has served as the foundation to some of my best experiences and memories with friends. Riding has also connected me to a large group of influential and inspirational female riders. My goal behind the lens is to capture them as the strong and impactful women they are to help build confidence and pride and to showcase female riders in a positive light. Jordan Pirtle, Harley Davidson Deluxe, harleysandheels.com 4 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
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Like many of you, we are keeping the tanks topped off, the batteries on trickle and the hope in our bosoms that we will be able to squeeze a few more rides in. It’s funny how that freak 50-degree-day feels so much warmer now that it did in October, so we get while the getting’s good. I can see and hear the die-hards roar by the house, braving the cold. This is including the brother-in-law and sister who of course honked, revved and generally made themselves obnoxious (where’s a cop when you need them), all the while I was stuck inside being responsible probably doing chores of some sort or another. That’s me, Mister Responsible. Part of being responsible is remembering to keep up with the bike fluids. And guess what? Just because a can says brake fluid, doesn’t mean that it is correct for every year. The DOT 3 and 4 is different than 5. Oil also has a seemingly endless number of viscosities and formulations. The green pump at the station is different than the red one. Ammunition like 7.7 Jap machine gun rounds is different than the 7.7 rifle rounds, as our boys in the Pacific discovered. 22 long rifle will fit in 22 wrf chambers. 9mm will fit in .357 SIG chambers but boy does it balloon the brass. (Some personal experience with that one.) Point being that not everything that looks similar or may even be called the same is the same. Substitutions can be dangerous and do not always work.
As we have frequently heard the last few years, elections matter and they have consequences. Since the Garden While 2020 showed us how fast everything can sour, it of Eden there has unfortunately also showed, like the proverbial frog in the been a struggle water, that the many decades’ results of putting the wrong between good ingredients in the mix hasn’t turn out well or good. The and evil. Will New Year looks to be filled with many challenges. The good we as a country news is that God provides us with an instruction manual fail to recognize and someone to help us. The Bible and the Holy Spirit not or remember only show us the how to’s but also tell us what happens where our rights, when we do things right or when we ignore the instructions. freedoms and As God is systematically removed from our society the self-evident truths come from? Will we choose to continue vacuum created doesn’t remain empty but is filled with as one nation under God? In 2021 will we as a country take all sorts of junk. Matthew 12 says “when an impure spirit a knee or take a stand? comes out of a person it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then is says, ‘I will return to the Hopefully, we will rise to the occasion and look to the house I left’. When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, positive things we still enjoy in life and try to strengthen our swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with lives and deepen our faith. So take heart and look to Jesus it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go and the one true God who is the Alpha and the Omega, the in and live there, and the final condition of that person is beginning and the end, the author and the finisher of our worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked faith, the one that knows all and sees all. The one that chose generation.” I imagine that it’s not a stretch to apply this to leave heaven come to earth, share in our sufferings, to outcome to countries as well. We see social justice and love us, sacrifice for us and redeem us. political correctness substituted for God’s word. He clearly defined marriage; He told us not to sacrifice our children We don’t have to understand it all but just trust in Him who and gave us the 10 Commandments - not the 10 Suggestions says to take heart, I have overcome the world. or 10 Considerations. Our Constitution and laws were derived from Biblical values that are now being trashed. The Blessings, Mark Bible also outlines the catastrophic failure that result in not following God’s instructions. The book of Deuteronomy Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian tells us of the blessings or cursings that result in our choices Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and to follow or reject Him. Unfortunately, not following Him God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org results in losing the ability to distinguish right from wrong. 6 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
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Edwards Motorsports and RV’s The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1010 34th Avenue throughout Iowa that sponsor the Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 magazine. You can pick up your 712-366-8400 copy here every month. Let them fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa 1500 E Army Post Road Biker Friendly Business Listing and Des Moines, Iowa 50315 become a part of the network, 515-256-9062 please email Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Candy Store Harlan Sweets & Treats 1004 6th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-7018 Harlansweetsandtreats.com
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30 National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights Big Daddy’s 506 W Main Street Lewis, Iowa 51544 M,W,TH,F 4PM-*, Sat-Sun Noon-* Zipp’s Pizza & Big Patio!
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Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00 Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
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Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
The Open Road Bar & Grill 501 Ann Street Irwin, Iowa 51446 712-782-4545 The Open Road, Bar and Grill, LLC on FB
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMPolk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon.
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook
Guns and Ammo
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Hobbies & Collectibles Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Insurance & Financial
TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Services Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Shops & Fabricators
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
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Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
Photo and Art
JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30
Legal
Blackwell Gas 431 3rd Street Manilla, Iowa 51454 712-654-2812 Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
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Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Eagle Motorsports 1425 Washington Street Eldora 641-939-1461 hotrod70@mchsi.com Eagle Motorsports on Facebook
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
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Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY & INDIAN ONLY
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Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
SHOP EQUIPMENT Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
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Scooter Tramp The Boogie Van
RAMBLINGS
So I’ve been itching to write this story for months, putting it off do that I could research some (hopefully) factual information on Boogie Vans, but… Like so much on the internet these days, many folks are only talking about opinions, not facts on a certain subject. And as I dove into the Boogie Van history, I said screw it and just decided to run with my own history on vans, well for the most part anyway. With that said, there’s been a huge comeback of the “Boogie Van” in recent years, and the old chopper lifestyle was always tied in closely with the van culture, so as a lot of younger riders are taking a liking to the old choppers, they’re also reviving the custom van scene. I’ve tried some internet searching for some history on a true definition of the Boogie Van, and my patience ran out real quick. I mean, I know what it means to me, but was more curious if there was a true definition on the history of the nick-name, and possibly learn something new along the way. So I was overloaded with thoughts and opinion of what people think, but the best reference I found called them “Both a muscle car and party vehicle.” I also found a guy who was not in favor of the Boogie Van style that stated in his writing “The exterior features airbrushed murals of sabretooth tigers, axe-wielding barbarians, or bare-breasted fantasy maidens,” so his barebreasted comment caught my attention anyway! He then went on to explain the interiors being lined with crush velvet and quilted vinyl, with a bed in back accessorized with an animal print quilt, and as he puts it the rear bumper sticker will read “If this van’s a rockin, don’t bother knockin” or “Don’t laugh, your daughter may be inside!” He went on writing about all this like it was a bad thing??? I would like to point out that he totally forgot to mention shag carpet ca though!
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Myself, I’ve never had the pleasure of owning a true Boogie Van, but believe me, I sure as hell want one… Have wanted one for a very long time! Before my motorcycle addiction got out of control, I was always into old cars and hot rods, hell even my class ring in high-school has a ’57 Chevy on it. So I grew up reading old car magazines and loved the old Boogie Van style too, but I could barely afford to keep my old beater car road worthy back then, so a kick-ass van was outta the question. But as luck would have it, the day after my high-school graduation, with all my graduation money in hand and a co-sign from my dad, I bought my first van. It was a full-size Chevy but was a “Sport Van” meaning it had windows all the way around, which was not what Boogie Vans were about. I had high hopes of driving that thing all over the country and basically just living in it along the way, but dreams don’t always come true. But on a minimum wage salary, I did what
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I could to customize it, somewhat… I put wide tires on the back (white letters out, of course) tinted the windows with dark limo tint, and even found a loveseat that was small enough to fit inside between the wheel wells! I had swivel bucket seats along the sidewall behind the driver’s seat that came out of a 70’s Monte Carlo, and had plastic window louvers over the back door windows. I even had a fiberglass hood with a hood scoop for it that came off a friend’s van that had ended up at a junk yard while he was locked up, but that never ended up on my van, and it was the only remnant of his van when he got it out, so I gave it back to him. I even robbed the dumpster at a local carpet store late at night and got some fresh new Ferber to line the floor too, but I was never lucky enough to find some sultry shag in their dumpster! Back then the riverfront dike in Clinton was the place for the young crowd to hang-out at night, and although I was the youngest of the bunch, a group about 4 or 5 vans on any given night would regularly park bumper to bumper with our side doors facing the river. We typically had beer, some bottles, and someone always had something to smoke, and we’d all tune our radios to the same station and bounce from van to van. Cops would drive by, but couldn’t see what we were up to on the other side of all the vans. I guess those days were about the extent of my hopes to see the “Van Life” in southern California, but sure made for some good memories anyway!
That summer I also bought my first motorcycle, and my life was forever changed! The bike didn’t run when I bought it, so I used the van to haul it home, which set the stage for my work/motorcycle hauling van needs. And while driving home with that bike, the muffler fell off the van, leaving only the catalytic converter, and I never replaced the muffler, so I guess you could say I had custom exhaust too! Friends who knew me back then still talk about that old red van when then see my driving my current van, but it got to the point that cops were really taking a liking to watching that thing, so it ended being replaced. But, I still have the loveseat sitting in my office! I’ve owned many vans over the years, and even 5 at one time, if you count mini-vans too. But aside from some camping and road trips, they’ve always been a work horse for me, hauling motorcycles and my vending gear to shows, or hauling my studio equipment to photoshoots when I was shooting for national magazines on a regular basis. My current van is an old Chevy Conversion that’s easily recognized because it’s rusty and looks like hell, but she’s the best van I’ve ever owned. Bought it in 2004 with 69,000 miles on it, and I recently flipped 212,000, and she still runs like a champ! So anyway, that’s my take on vans. I know this is a motorcycle magazine, but as stated previously, the custom van culture has always had close ties with the chopper culture, and I just love vans, so I wanted to talk about them once. I still hold out hope that someday I might get the perfect Boogie Van to accent my chopper ccollection, and I’m currently looking to replace my co van, but a Boogie Van just isn’t practical ““trusty-rusty” t ffor o my needs, so again those dreams will have to wait. It’s also worth mention that that with these old vvans a making a come-back, many shows are catering to tthe h custom van crowd, like the Full Tilt Boogie in the Twin Cities that is strictly a custom van and chopper T held every summer. And even Iron Invasion sshow h iin n Davenport this past summer had one building that only vans and choppers, and hosted vendors sshowcased h tthat h catered to their needs. So all the photos seen here aare r from Full Tilt Boogie and the Last Gasp Custom Van aand n Chopper display at Iron Invasion this past year. Party On! P Nate Ullrich www. N Natanic.com N
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Ann Caslavka Washington 2018 H-D Street Glide
Jane Greteman Carroll 2016 Harley Davidson Freewheeler
Robbi Holman Iowa Falls 2013 Harley Davidson Blackline 16 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
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Five, daily AND nightly specials. Six, crispy fried cheese and other appetizers. I could go on forever, but due to limited word space I should probably get to the point before long.
Henry’s Diner 836 Old Lincoln Hwy Crescent, IA 51526 (712) 545-3600 Open 7 days a week!
As you all know, we love to get out and travel to new cool and delicious destinations as much as our schedules (and waistlines) will allow. Unfortunately ,since this little thing known as the pandemic has come to call, our excursions have become somewhat limited due to seating and time restrictions, as well as there have been a large number of casualties in the small business realm that have sadly placed permanent “CLOSED” signs at many family owned establishments. We are truly saddened to see the effects that the infamous 2020 has had on our world. One establishment, however that has overcome obstacles not only thrown at it by the current situation, but has been a family owned operation for over 35 years is Henry’s Diner. Offering mouthwatering dishes, prepared from family recipes, Henry’s will not disappoint. Located conveniently close to the Council Bluffs metro in quiet Crescent, Iowa, it is easy to find as well. In addition to delicious lunch and dinner menus they also serve breakfast Monday through Saturday until 11:30 AM and on Sunday until closing time. On our way home from a quick trip to the city for motorcycle parts, we decided to hop off the big road and stop in Crescent for a bite. Happy to gaff off my lunch duties, we pulled into the parking lot, which seemed a bit crowded for the early afternoon hour we were stopping. Generally a busy lot is a good sign, so this was the first hint as to what we were in for. Now, our friends Stacey and Brad always talk about Henry’s and how fantastic the food is, so of course Vernon had to shoot them a quick text and inform them that we were about to embark on a flavor cruise at Henry’s….without them. Insert explicit comments back from Brad. Looking over the menu at Henry’s proved to be a challenge for a couple of reasons. Number one, we are doing a bit of weight watching, and Henry’s offered several lighter fare options….which neither of us REALLY wanted at the time. Two, they have homemade onion rings. Three, they have slow roasted beef for use on a variety of menu options…. including hot beef. Four, HOMEMADE mashed potatoes. 20 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
We placed our orders and anxiously awaited the arrival of our dishes. A short time later our waitress returned with our delicious looking choices. I opted for the Henry’s Club this time. This mammoth, triple decker sandwich was comprised of sliced roast beef, ham, turkey, bacon, Swiss and American cheeses. All layered with sliced tomato, lettuce and mayo on lightly toasted bread. The sandwiches all come with a choice of side, so I went with a classic…. French fries. The sandwich was piled high, and included some of that slow roasted beef that I mentioned earlier. The fries were piping hot and crispy, a ssalty delight to pair with my sandwich. T This sandwich is really made for two, as I boxed up half of it, and a pile of fries to hhave at home later! Vernon’s selection oof the day…..brace yourselves….. w was the tenderloin sandwich and onion rrings. I know, I know…but I don’t think hhe can honestly help himself. He is qquite possibly genetically programmed tto choose a tenderloin whenever the
opportunity presents itself. And besides, when it arrived at the table I really couldn’t blame him for picking it. His sandwich was even larger than mine, which I didn’t think was possible. Golden brown delicious crispiness on the outside and juicy tender pork on the inside. On the side were crispy lettuce, onion, and pickles as well as sliced tomato to top the sandwich to his liking. The basket of rings that were placed alongside were amazing as well. Hand battered rings that had a bit of a cornmeal crunch to them were phenomenal. If I had known how good they were going to be, I might have just ordered a basket of onion rings and called it a day! With the results of our lunch stop, I can only imagine how satisfying an evening trip for a steak would be, or even a morning trip for a breakfast platter. I do know that we will be back, because I watched a couple of hot beefs fly by my table, and I am going to have to give one a try. Whatever your meal of choice, you will definitely find something delicious on the menu at Henry’s! Until next time, Melanie J Schwarte If you have a WRTE suggestion, please email it to me at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
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The Classic Panheads Facebook page was created by Greg Lew in 2012. He wanted a page where Panhead enthusiasts could meet daily to share pictures, talk tech, and debate everything Panhead. A lot of friendships were created along the way, so many of us discovered we had lived parallel lives and had even bought and sold parts at one time or another. As our membership grew Greg thought we should do something worthwhile and maybe make a difference somehow instead of being just another lame social media presence. We talked about charities and by the end had agreed on the Disabled American Vets. 85 cents of every dollar raised goes directly to Veterans programs, which is a very high percentage if you compare it to other charities. We thought we would try an auction using Facebook as a platform. The idea was that members would donate old motorcycle parts or motorcycle memorabilia and other members could bid on the auction items. Once the hammer drops, the winner pay pals the Disabled American Veterans directly and the donor mails the part after payment is sent. The cost of shipping is negotiated privately between buyer and seller, but most of the donors donate the shipping costs as well. Did I mention that Bikers have the biggest hearts? Members from all over the US and Canada participate and even Panhead enthusiasts from foreign countries! We get all types of cool stuff on the auction from some very generous people. Some shops donate services such as transmission rebuilds or sleeving of cylinders, artists donate prints, bikers dig deep in to their well-hidden, secret stashes and come up with Fender tips and tank emblems, 6 volt coils to Panhead cylinder heads, not to mention all kinds of old Harley-Davidson pins, bola’s, and other foofaraw. One humble donor has some
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gigantic 3’x5’ prints made up which cost him 40 bucks and another 10 to ship, and he donates multiples every year. Another guy flies to Vegas and rents a motorsickle, rides to Cave Creek to purchase prints from Eric Hermann…he then tells Eric to standby and he will get him some addresses after the auction! On our last auction a member who specializes in restoring old guide bullet lights donated a set of lights (I believe they retail for $350.00) the bidding turned in to a war of friendly fire, the hammer dropped at an amazing $1100.00! The donor (being the humble and generous guy he is) tells the runner up bidder that he is going to send him a pair of lights too, and then that bidder steps up and also donates $1100.00! Did I mention Bikers have the biggest hearts? Every year sometime in October we start listing items and members start bidding. As the weeks go by the number of items usually grows to around 150 or so, and at precisely High Noon on the Sunday after Thanksgiving we start dropping the hammer. Like any charity auction, it may be a bit unconventional, donors even sometimes bid on their own auction and raise their own bids. Some of the guys even end up buying their own item just so they don’t have to ship it! Still paying the money to the Disabled American Veterans. 2020 has been a strange year to say the least. But despite all of the mayhem 2020 dished out, we were able to raise $28,000.00 for the vets. The dollars we raised go directly towards transportation…getting veterans to and from appointments. In an era where we can find the most insignificant of things to argue about, at least we can all agree that our Veterans deserve all the help we can give them. Dave Bajari
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There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, “This is the first time that I know where my husband is going.” A man is at work one day, when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a conservative guy, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” The co-worker responds sheepishly, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.” The man falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So how long have you been wearing one?” The co-worker responds, “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
years so it’s been a while since I’ve ve be been een w with ith it h d, a woman. I want one day of wild, crazy sex with your wife, Dylan.” Dylan said, “No way!” The genie replied, “Not even for a million dollars a week?” Dylan turned to his wife, who said, “I guess for all that, I should. Well, not until Dylan leaves.” Dylan said, “Okay, have fun, n, I guess,” and left. Dylan’s wife then en proceeded to have wild sex for the rest esst of the day with the genie. When they hey were finished, the genie asked how wo old ld her husband was. She said, “Forty-fi five fi ve.” ve.” Th Thee Genie laughed and said, “Isn’t he a little litt li ttle tt le o old l ld to be believing in genies?”
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam! There was an elderly man who wanted ante an ted te d to make his younger wife pregnant. Hee What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where went to the doctor to get a sperm you stick the cucumber. count. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring ng Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie it back. The elderly man came back ack tthe he Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. next day; the specimen cup was empty pty aand nd “I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the lid was on it. The doctor asked,, ““What Wh What hat the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane,” said the judge. was the problem?” The elderly ma said, man n sa said id,, id Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said “Well, I tried with my right hand... nothing. I that she’s fucking Goofy!” tried with my left hand... nothing. So, my wife tried with her right hand... nothing. Her left hand... nothing. Her A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform mouth... nothing. Then my wife’s friend tried. Right hand, him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will left hand, mouth... still nothing. The doctor replied, “Wait have to give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and a minute, did you say your wife’s friend too?!” The elderly he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When man answered, “Yeah, and we still couldn’t get the lid off of he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not the specimen cup.” wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting,” A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are new teammates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my you doing?” the man exclaims. The old man looks off in husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?” the distance and does not answer his grandson. “Grandpa, His mate said smiling, ‘Oh, it was excellent! Your husband what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below is clearly very experienced!” The wife looked confused and the waist?” he asks again. The old man slyly looks at him replied to his mate, “Strange, he has only done it twice and and says, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and the second time he was sick.” I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s idea!” They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as A guy’s talking to a girl in a bar. He asks her, “What’s your running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds? name?” She says, “Carmen.” He says, “That’s a nice name. Who named you, your mother?” She says, “No, I named Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when myself.” He says, “Why Carmen?” She says, “Because I like he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his cars and I like men. What’s your name?” He says, “Beerfuck.” neighbor’s window. Dylan ran over and rang the doorbell three times. After no one answered for a few minutes, he A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular opened the door to see broken glass everywhere, a lamp contractions to his first-year medical students. Realizing lying on the ground, and a huge fat Arabian man wearing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to a turban sitting on the couch. Dylan asked, “Who are you?” lighten the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the The fat man replied, “I am a genie you have freed from that front row and asked, “Do you know what your asshole is lamp.” Dylan questioned, “Oh man, do I get three wishes?” doing while you’re having an orgasm?” She replied, “He’s The genie replied, “Since you freed me by accident you only probably playing golf with his friends.” get two and I get one.” Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted, “I want to be the best golfer ever.” The Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their surprised genie said, “You sure? Most people wish for money, wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked but okay. Now your wife gets one wish.” Dylan brought over the one. “Well, not exactly.” His friend replied, “She’s more his wife who wished right away, “I want a million dollars into the trick dog aspect of it.” “Oh, I see, kinky, huh?” every week of my life.” The genie said, “Granted. And now “Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and for my wish, I have been cramped up in that lamp for many plays dead.” 26 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
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One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. “What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband. “Oh darling,” sobbed the wife, “I was cleaning little Suzie’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! Whatever are we going to do?” “Well,” replied the man, “I guess a spanking is out of the question?”
daughter and asks, “Why are you thanking me?” “Because son,” the father answers, “You are the first boy to take her out of the tree.” A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to “get things done.” The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished. “Well now, that was kinda quick!” the genie says. “You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want,” the genie tells them, winking his eye. Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, “Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!”
Three babies are in their mother’s womb. One of them says, “I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here.” The next one says, “I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here.” The last baby says, “I’m going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I’m going to Two sperms are racing to reach the ovule. After a minute, chop that thing in half!” one asks the other, “Hey, how much longer until we reach the ovaries?” The other answers, “Keep swimming, fool! We After fighting some crime, Superman haven’t even passed the tonsils yet!” wanted to score some action. He flew over to Wonder Woman’s apartment to see if she The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was was available. As he landed on her balcony, he saw mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open. goose walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. Superman thought to himself, “I’m faster than a speeding The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious bullet; I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before book out of the goose’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward she knew what happened.” So, Superman did his super thing and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the goose. in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile back on “Your name is written inside the cover.” the bed, Wonder Woman asked, “Did you hear something?” “No!” said the Invisible Man, “But my ass sure hurts like Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over hell!” the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong. “Well,” replies Paul, “you know that beautiful girl at work that I In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her her?” “Yes,” replies Jeff with a laugh. “Well,” says Paul, last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker straightening up, “I finally plucked up the courage to ask that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: her out, and she agreed.” “That’s great!” says Jeff, “When are “Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.” Not you going out?” “I went to meet her this evening,” continues long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker Paul, “but I was worried I’d get an erection again. So I got told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the wouldn’t show.” “Sensible” says Jeff. “So I get to her door,” inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: says Paul, “and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the “Returned unopened.” sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw.” “And what happened then?” (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) “I kicked her Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough. – Pluto in the face.” A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car. He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go. So, he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows him a huge weeping willow tree that they can hide under and says he can do whatever he wants to her. Under the tree, she shows him two branches that can prop her up and he has his way with her. When they finish, he dresses himself and her, puts back into her chair, wheels her to the front door, and knocks. When her father sees the young man, he thanks him. The boy feels very uncomfortable because of what he just did to the man’s Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
This monkey walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender says no, and the monkey leaves. The next day, the monkey returns and asks, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender again says no, and the monkey leaves. Two days later the monkey returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any bananas?” The bartender, losing his patience, screams at the monkey, “I told you monkey, I don’t have any bananas and if you ask me again I will nail your paws and tail to the floor!!” The monkey looked startled and leaves. Two days later the monkey returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender replied, “No,” and the monkey said, “Good! Got any bananas?” Happy New Year from all of us at TRMI!
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What if it’s just “Hey 2020 Hold My Beer!” I don’t know what direction to even go right now. I know what I normally would be planning to do, I do have a process that I do every single year, it’s the same, it’s good, it’s healthy, and it gets me set on the…well, ‘perceived’ right direction. Even though I felt I had a great plan last year, about this time certain, well, shit blew my world up. My world, your world, everybody’s damn world. No reason to ride down that same path, we are all sick of it. I am sometimes good at goal planning. I usually take a day, maybe two, and put forth a list of goals I want to achieve over the next year. Like I have written before here on the pages of this award-winning motorcycling magazine, goal planning is important. Every business makes goals. Every…single…one. All successful people have goals and a plan to reach them. Every sport team, every organization, you name it. If you want to get ahead, first you plan to achieve and then you work to achieve your plan. It’s really that simple. Now, the difference between a DREAM and a goal is a plan. We all have DREAMS, but you will never achieve your dreams unless you have a plan.
kind of normal for people to do that type of thing back in the ‘olden days’. It’s true! Anyway, it was the text from a speech given by Lou Holtz, the Notre Dame Football coach (who also may have made a metric shit ton of money as a motivational speaker following his retirement). He has the example of how, as a young man, he wrote down 100 life goals, everything from winning the National Championship, to being on the Tonight Show, to boating on the Nile. A heady list, so I thought…Why the hell not? Let’s dream big! Sitting by my fireplace one night, cocktail close at hand, I started writing down a list of goals, I got up to 99 of them. I was around 25 or so, didn’t have a pot to piss in, was just buying my first house and had nothing but my dreams to bank on. But, hey, if it worked for Lou, it could work for me, right? I took the pages out, put them in a three-ring binder, and promptly put the folder away and spaced it off for years. Okay, decades. As in two. Two decades… over 20 years later I found it cleaning out a storage bin and let’s face it, almost every facet of my life had changed in those 20 years, like it would for anybody. I had a couple of houses by then, a different wife, three kids, and lots of new body scars from various ‘adventures’. Some of the goals didn’t make any sense to me now (we all grow) but I was STUNNED on how many I could cross off as completed. It was wild! And that was without any real dedication to achieving those goals. It was a fun list to read again, I still have that list and having shared it with my family; I even readdressed some of them to see if I can still make them happen.
Want to lose 20 pounds, figure out a healthy way to trim a couple pounds a week, be it diet, exercise, or lifestyle changes. If you work the plan, then boom, Oh yes, the power of goal planning. I don’t mean to you are on your way. Just dreaming of losing 20 pounds before a vacation, a bike rally, spring, boat- sell it but, I really believe in this stuff. ing season, or whatever, and you will never EVER hit But yea, here we are. that goal. You can’t just want to do something; you must have a goal and a plan in mind to accomplish it. You see, I did the entire 2020 goal thing last December, actually over a couple of days…the day after Sure, it’s all fine and dandy, lay out a plan, get your Christmas and New Year’s Day. (I live a pretty shelshit together, and go forward. So simple it’s stupid tered life; I was up pretty early on New Year’s Day. right? Well, it kind of is. It’s really that simple. I do it Okay by sheltered I really mean, pathetic, sure it’s every year and I have for decades. rookie night, blah blah blah, but I know I was up to see the new year in, then ghosted the party I was One time I had an article sent to me. Old school… attending and if that doesn’t say lame ass, I am not clipped from a magazine and sent to me via the sure what does.) United States Postal Service. Believe it or not, it was 28 - TRMI JANUARY 2021
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As I was saying, I did my plan, had a couple of my kids do so as well. Laid out some ‘family goals’ as the spousal unit and I crank out every year. Oh, fun fact…those are always the pain in the ass, the ‘cost me money’ goals. Shit like “we need a new kitchen”, “we need a new thing that washes clothes” or whatever it’s called. Funny how much attention gets paid to that list, she had a stupid expensive list this year and we almost accomplished it all. So, I have this list, things are trucking along pretty good and I really have no complaints. Work is kicking ass, both of my jobs are rocking then, well, you know the rest of the bullshit. Nothing I wanted to do was possible or maybe it is that I just freaking gave up. I don’t know. But of all the bullshit that happened, for the most part, in hindsight, it was sort of okay. As I have said before, I ended up with more time with my family. My life priorities (like so many of us) changed in an instant… and we adapted. Hell, at times this past year really kicked ass. So, I am going to make a goal plan again, but cast a jaundice eye towards that list when it’s done, because after all, what if 2021 just looks at us and says… “HOLD MY BEER!” Todd “Crash” Davis
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June 1964 Enthusiast
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finally January 2021 Ithis,tandis then if you are reading we made it! There
have been a lot of bumps along the way, but we made it through and are ready to put the past year behind us. We are looking forward to this year. We are already working hard on the 2021, 37th Annual Freedom Rally, and I can tell you that this is going to be another great rally. We are currently working on getting the bands all finalized. Announcements of the entertainment should be out soon, so make sure to pencil in your plans to attend. Tickets are on sale now on the website.
e are ready for the start of the 2021 Iowa W general assembly which takes place on January 11, 2021. Our state senators and
representatives will be back working for us in Des Moines. ABATE will be watching the bills that come in that could possibly affect our rights as motorcyclists. We are planning our lobby day at the state capital for February 16th, 2021 at 7am, but, as we have all become accustomed to, this all depends on where the state is at with COVID and if they will allow the public into the capital building at that time. Please watch our Facebook page and our website for any updates as the date gets closer. Lobby day is always a good way to get to know your senator and representatives. You can spend some one on one time to talk to them about issues that are important to you and they may even reach out to you to ask your opinion on various topics and bills. This relationship can help in grassroots lobbying. You can also get involved by joining ABATE of Iowa and the MRF (motorcycle rider foundation). These two groups work hard year round to protect your rights as a motorcycle rider on the state and national levels, and always need support and new membership. e look forward to seeing you in 2021! W David Duffy ABATE of Iowa State Coordinator
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Before heading out for any of the scheduled events on our dinner ride/bike night list and our events listing, please call ahead to make sure they are still happening. With all of the closures happening as of late, many events have been forced to reschedule or even cancel all together. But with or without events to attend, tearing up some pavement has always been a bikers preferred form of social distancing. Ride safe and ride often!
Feb 27 Feb 27-28 Mar 7 Mar 12-14 Mar 12-14 Apr 11 May 1 May 27-30 Jun 12 Jul 1-3 Jul 15-17 Jul 24 Sep 2-5
Sleeping Angels Gala Boone 52nd Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids World of Wheels Omaha World of Wheels Chicago Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL 10th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville 7th Annual Children’s Cancer Unit Poker Run Council Bluffs ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona 2021 River City Motorcycle Challenge LHHD Pacific Junction Pine Lake Festival Motorcycle Show Eldora Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville
2021 Jan 8 Jan 15 Jan 22-24 Feb 13 Feb 16 Feb 25-27
Ladies Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction Men’s Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction Rock Island Car and Bike Show Rock Island, IL 30th Annual Chili Cook Off Metro HD Cedar Rapids ABATE of Iowa Lobby Day Des Moines Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE
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