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Or you could be cool to that person the rest of the year and not just have one day to not be a shit to the one you love. If you really dig them, make a point to be nice in June, hell maybe even September, or any other random day. I hate buying flowers and always have, I don’t need to buy or eat more sweet treats, so this day doesn’t necessarily mean anything to me either.
Someone asked me the he oother he th ther h dday a w ay what h t ha my favorite day or part rt ooff w winter inteer is in is? s? I don’t exactly know what hhaat th they ey yw were erre expecting for an answer wer we er fr from om a om motorcycle guy, but guessing uesssi sing ng bby y the look on their face w with ithh my it y response, it was not exactly x ct xa ctly tly y what they were guessing. in ng. g. Some people like this ti time ime me of year, and I get that, I just generally don’t like to hang out with people like that. There are a ton of things that happen during rin ing this timeframe such ass ccold, o d, ol d Christmas, cold, New Y Year’s, eaar’ r ’s, s cold, Valentine’s Day, ccold, old, ol ld, St Patrick’s Day, cold,, ssn snow, now no ow, ice, very few biker events, more cold, and then maybe even some cold temperatures. I suppose that many would say their favorite part of winter would be Christmas and the lead up to that holiday. That is not necessarily the case with me, although I am more about the reason for that holiday than the fat guy in red type of thing. I am actually glad when Christmas and all of that is over with, but those are all for personal reasons, and not worth space on our pages. As the Christmas season winds down, people get back to being “normal” assholes instead of “fake” assholes, as some seem to try to put their best foot forward while in public, but then behind your back stab and jab until they are content. I am not a fan of the downsides of that holiday, so that is not my favorite part of winter. New Year’s used to be marginally interesting, but as I get older and want to deal with less bullshit, the thought of listening to those stupid noisemakers just irritates me. New Year followed by a new me? Bullshit, same old goat, same old pasture, same old shit. I know that some people actually make it past noon on New Year’s Day with their resolutions in tow yet, but that seems to be the oddity. It is a valiant thought, but fails in practicality and actuality. So this holiday is not my favorite part of winter either. Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day to celebrate and dote on the one you love if you suffer from that particular affliction.
On the Cover
While setting up at a Men’s Night at LHHD recently, we saw this cool rig sitting on the show room floor in front of some cool signs and thought, that would be a great picture if we could find a sexy gal to model with the bike. Low and behold, Kelsie shows up minutes later in her racy winter atire, and it just seemed like it had to be on the cover for this month. Also on the cover are some dates to mark down to attend for sure in the next couple of months. Winter is going away by the day, not soon enough, but the shows will help scratch the itch for now. See ya at the shows! 4 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2022
St Patrick’s Day is the last holiday of the season of winter, and should be celebrated for just that, as the end of winter type of thing. But then, once again, I don’t give a shit about that. Many people are oblivious to the actual meaning of the holiday and have no idea what it is celebrating other than having some potatoes, corned beef, and of course drinks that are green, for some stupid reason. Not an endearing batch of fun in my book. Now the cold, the snow, the ice, the shitty roads, the vehicle killing calcium, and not being able to ride much if any at all is just irritating and about makes me go mental. Melanie will attest that this is the time of year that I get really bitchy and in need of two wheel therapy and being able to rub elbows with the motorcycle world and enjoy being with other like-minded people. The weather kills biker events. Late fall and winter bring nothing but all the above paragraphs with very little opportunity to ride or hang out in masse with others that “get” it. So the weather during this time of year is not my bag either. I guess if I had to say what day of winter was my favorite, it would be, today! Today is my favorite day of winter because I know it means that we are one day closer to spring. We are one less snow storm from the dead of winter. We are at the point in February of days getting noticeably longer and sucking less in the temperature department. February also brings the start of the swap meet and show season and some of our biggest events that we set up for. We love to be able to hand out some Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa copies, have some other cool stuff set up for sale or display, take along some parts to sell and try to find some others, and best of all, chatting it up with the Iowa biker world. So today is my favorite day of winter, and with February, the shows start and we can get back into rubbing elbows with other folks that understand exactly where my mind has been the last few months. Stay safe to ride another day. Vernon Quote of the month: “ Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.” Edward Abbey PS Hey wifey, Happy Birthday 2-22-22
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If you’re out trying to get rid of some cabin fever and you wander into one of the bike shops, don’t be surprised if you happen to see Mark checking out anything with a side-car. Not for me to ride in. Or for our grandkids to ride in. Nope. For our dog. We have a dog that reminds me of Pinocchio. You know – the wooden puppet who thought he was a real boy? Bram thinks he’s a person who should get to go everywhere and do everything with Mark. If Mark goes out into the yard by himself, Bram will drive me nuts dashing through the house, looking out the windows in every room to see what he’s missing, all the while barking like crazy. In his quiet moments, he has perfected the art of oozing his way onto Mark’s lap. He begins by laying his head and one paw on Mark’s leg, but by making one slow, sneaky movement at a time, Mark is soon pinned to the couch by 70 pounds of grinning dog. And his desire to be with Mark is not limited to play. Bram thinks it’s great to help sort laundry and carry in firewood. Naturally, there is time invested in training to walk at heel or retrieve to hand, although that’s not Bram’s favorite way to spend time. Evidently, the attachment is mutual, because now Mark is trying to decide how practical it would be to attach a side-car for Bram to one of our bikes. He’s thinking of how happy Bram would be but I’m making a mental list of the accessories he would need: dog earplugs, dog goggles, dog harnesses. It’s starting to sound more and more expensive. But this dog is loved.
If this sounds completely foreign to you, maybe you don’t really know what life with Christ is about. Maybe you don’t know Jesus very well and you need some help getting started. We used to have a cat, a stray that we took in. He was nice, The best plan is for but holy smokes, did he shed! He ended up having to stay in you to get involved the basement because I couldn’t handle all the hair floating in a church near you, but there are a around. We provided him with a nice scratching post and some toys and we made sure he had food, water, and clean lot of organizations out there calling litter, but we only spent a few minutes with him each day while we were being dutiful cat owners. Unlike our dog, the themselves churches without teaching cat just didn’t fit into our lives very well. what the Bible really says. If you haven’t The other day I was thinking about the difference spent much time in God’s word yet, it might be difficult between the dog’s life and the cat’s life, when suddenly for you to identify a Bible-believing church. (Think of I wondered how often our relationship with God ends up it like this: You’re at work and someone hands you their in a similar predicament. Not to be disrespectful to the phone. “It’s your mom,” they say. You take the phone. Lord, but maybe we treat God like Mark and I treated our “Mom?” But some strange woman is on the phone. You cat. We go to church from time to time, share posts about Guardian Angels on Facebook, try to be nice to people. We know your mom’s voice and this is NOT your mom, so you’re not fooled. Identifying God’s voice is similar. If do all the things that we think a dutiful Christian should someone hands you the Bible and says “It’s Jesus”, they’re do, but something is missing and our hearts aren’t really telling you the truth because one of the other names Jesus in it. Maybe we feel like a relationship with God doesn’t goes by is the Word of God.) If you don’t know the Bible fit into our lives very well - or maybe we just don’t know what a relationship with God is supposed to be like. But for well enough yet to be able to pick out a Bible-believing whatever reason, a relationship with God is relegated to the church, find a Christian biker friend and ask where they go to church. Or if that’s too scary you can get started by using basement of our lives. We know he’s there, but we don’t the CMA web address at the bottom of this page. You can give him the time for meaningful interaction with us. even go to church online with Mark and me by going to harmonybiblechurch.org and logging into their sermons or On the other end of the spectrum lies the dog and their live feeds. Whatever it takes, you need to get started. the dog owner type of relationship. Although the roles are switched around, in a healthy relationship with the Lord, he A relationship with Christ is meant to be lived! will be involved in all areas of your life, not just pulled out for Christmas and Easter. You will find true companionship, Blessings – Karla the satisfaction of sharing in God’s work, and yes, you’ll even have some lessons in obedience. The Bible assures Mark & Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists us that Jesus is a friend of sinners (Matthew 9:10-13) who comes offering forgiveness when we choose to turn to him Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for (I John 1:19) so that together with him, we can do the good you at www.cmausa.org works he has already planned for us (Ephesians 2:10). 6 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2022
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The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments throughout Iowa that sponsor the magazine. You can pick up your copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Biker Friendly Business Listing and become a part of the network, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
Entertainment
Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400
Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com
Heartland Harley-Davidson 117 S Roosevelt Ave Burlington, IA 52601 319-754-1100 www.heartlandhd.com
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National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights
Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com
KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 2-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-5010
Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
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Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
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Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165 Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015 Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook! Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMRiverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports The Full Nelson 205 West 2nd Street Halbur, Iowa 51444 712-658-2425 The Full Nelson on Facebook The Garage 621 K45 Whiting, Iowa 51063 (712)420-5895 Facebook The Garage The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com VFW Post 9662 Bar and Grill 1309 NE 66th Ave Des Moines 515 - 289 - 9914 and Facebook Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens M-F 2-Close, Sat 9-Close, Sun 12-Close Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
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Guns and Ammo
Photo and Art
JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmshooterssupply@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Hobbies & Collectibles Shops & Fabricators Treasure Island Diecast/Facebook Hot Wheels, M2, Matchbox, Jada Ertl, Lightning, Harley, Maisto Buy-Sell-Trade 641-521-8036 rayaustinhd@gmail.com
Insurance & Financial
Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
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Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336 Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
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Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook Steffens Cycle and Detailing 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-250-8493 steffenscycle@gmail.com
Tires
Trailers
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
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not so USELESS RAMBLINGS
A few months ago, President Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” Why would he say that? My theory is that they, meaning Biden and his administration, backed up by the rest of the liberals and many democrats, and to be completely honest, some Republicans as well, want to control everything you say and do... which is why there have been so any attacks on the 1st and 2nd Amendments to the Constitution.
President Ronald Reagan said it best, “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
The government loves to tell you that it is “waging war on…”drugs, crime, poverty, etc., but if you look at our history you’ll find that this never accomplishes anything they tell you it will. In fact, nine chances out of ten, the problems get worse! Sometimes it’s because we find out, Any honest person can see that our government has attacked usually decades later, that our own government is guilty the 1st in so many ways. “They” don’t like being talked of the very things they said they were going to protect us about badly. They don’t like to be criticized. They don’t from. How many times has our government been caught red want to hear your negative opinions of them. Rather than handed dealing drugs and running guns to and from foreign correct their bad behavior, they just want you to shut up. countries? This is their idea of helping? Then they employ the likes of Twitter and Facebook to police your speech. You type anything they don’t approve of Thanks to the progressive dumbing down of the nation, and you’re censored. This happens hundreds of thousands through liberal control of our means of communication and of times a day on all forms of social media. Social media education, we have become a nation of useful idiots. No, not has become the new town square; it’s your soap box. You all of us, but a significant enough portion of us that we have have the potential to reach millions of people with your allowed them to weasel their way into the most powerful opinions... and “they” don’t like that. You NEED to be offices in this country where they collect more power and controlled. then pass laws that steal our freedoms. They lie, they cheat, they steal, they make back room deals that net them millions You’d have to be completely blind to not see the all-out of dollars to enhance their personal bank accounts all while assault on the 2nd that has been going on ever since it was they tell you that they are “fighting for the little man”, but ratified. England and her loyal subjects were horrified when we continue to watch the little man struggle. we beat them like a drum and claimed our independence from them. They knew they were losing their control and So, where are we at? We’re declaring 2A sanctuaries in this they stepped up and demanded we completely disarm so country, on US soil? Why? Why should we have to declare that we would be forced to remain as loyal subjects (easily sanctuary cities, counties, states if ALL of the United States controlled slaves to the crown), but we told them all to is protected under the Constitution? pound sand. We never would have won that battle if not for firearms. Ever since that epic battle for our independence, Well, because we have become useful idiots. We’ve allowed our right to possess firearms has been under attack. They the government to control public schools. We have allowed know that we will never be completely controlled until we the government to control student loans, thus controlling have no means to fight back against their tyranny. most institutions of higher learning. We have allowed the government to control the means of communication. We There have been multiple news stories about cities, have allowed it to happen; all of it. Slowly, methodically, counties, and even entire states that have publicly they have taken control over our two most important declared themselves to be a “2nd Amendment Sanctuary”. constitutionally protected rights because we are complacent. Personally, I find this declaration to be completely We are under educated. We are misinformed. We are useful ludicrous. Why, in these United States, under the protections idiots. of the Constitution, would there be a need to declare sanctuary status for a protected right? Well, that’s because I don’t know if this will all come to a head in my lifetime, a portion of “We the People” have grown complacent and but it will come to a head, eventually. stupid! We have allowed this to happen. The 20th-century philosopher George Santayna wrote, Over the years we have ceded more and more control over “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned our own lives to the power of big government. We have to repeat it.” But here we are allowing the erosion of our given over freedoms under the guise of making our lives freedom of speech; allowing the erosion of our right to easier and the ruse of our government wanting to help “We bear arms. I’m sure the descendants of King George III are the People” prosper. However, I can’t find a single thing celebrating their impending victory. that the government has put its sinewy fingers into that they haven’t completely screwed up! David McCoy david@thunderroadsiowa.com Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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Metro Harley-Davidson and the 620 Foundation would like to introduce you to “Bolt”. The 620 foundation is a non-profit formed by Metro Harley-Davidson Suzuki Can-Am to raise funds for the University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital. This year’s bike is brought to you by the Cedar Rapids/Iowa City Building Trades Council with the help of a ton of industry sponsors. On top of a BA Motorcycle, Metro is also adding a 2nd prize, a 2022 Can-Am Maverick Sport Max DPS! Stop in to check out these two fundraising units or go to www. metroharley-davidson.com/check-out-our--foundation-620 for more information or to buy tickets.
impossible to miss the 44 foot mural covering the entire south wall that was created by Gerard Pefung, and featuring many famous images of Council Bluffs.
712 EAT + DRINK
We all decided that while the appetizers looked like great choices, we wanted something a little more substantial for the evening meal. We perused the menus for a bit before we could settle on our choices. Vernon sipped a beer while I tried a watermelon basil mule. Netty opted for iced tea, because she was clearly the responsible one at our table! While chatting we lost track of the task at hand, and had to ask our attentive waiter to give us a few more minutes before we made our decisions.
Netty started off the ordering with an asparagus fries appetizer for the table. She then placed her order for 1851 MADISON AVE STE #700 Seafood Pasta, which arrived as a large portion of al dente COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA 51503 bucatini pasta tossed with lobster meat, bay scallops, and 712-256-5525 shrimp in a creamy parmesan sauce. On the side was a grilled baguette which I can only assume was there to soak Monday-CLOSED up any of the cheesy goodness that the bucatini left behind. Tuesday-Saturday 11am-9pm, Sunday-9am-8pm Vernon ordered the “Our Burger” which was a juicy, HAPPY HOUR Every Day 3p-6p and All Day Thursday delicately seasoned sandwich stacked high with two patties of local beef. Vernon chose to add bacon and upgrade his On an extremely cold December night we ventured out cheese to pepper jack. Atop the two beef patties there was to meet our good friend Netty while she was working in also lettuce, onion, and tomato in a large potato bun. His Omaha. She crossed the river to meet us in Council Bluffs burger came with the choice of French fries, a side salad, or at a restaurant that had been recommended to all of us on soup. The soup of the day on our visit was lobster bisque, more than one occasion. 712 EAT + DRINK is a relatively but Vernon opted for the classic burger companion…..fries. recent addition to the Council Bluffs metro area featuring I ordered the 712 Cubano. This delicious sandwich was contemporary American food and drink, and named for the loaded with roasted pork, smoked ham, Swiss cheese, whole area code in which it exists. The menu features numerous grain mustard & roasted garlic mayo on a perfectly chewy scratch made recipes and they are proud to use as much hoagie roll. I also had my choice of side, and I went with locally grown produce and natural, locally sourced proteins the fries as well. They were perfectly crispy and salty on as they can. The bar offers 23 craft beers on tap, as well the outside and fluffy potato goodness on the inside. Both as bottle selections, craft cocktails, and wine. The goal is of our sandwiches came with what tasted like house made “to offer warm hospitality, exceptional service and quality pickles on the side, the pickles were crisp and briny, and the ingredients in a lovely atmosphere.” perfect accompaniment to the sandwiches. When we arrived at 712, Netty was holding down the table for us, so we quickly joined her. The waiter was quick to swing by the table to take our drink orders and let us know that our Thursday visit allowed us happy hour pricing all day, as well as the happy hour appetizer menu if we chose to order from it. Once seated, it was
712 EAT + DRINK is a great place to meet up with friends. Whether you are in the dining or drinking mood, they can surely satisfy your needs. They have everything for the beer and burgers type of patron, to the wine and small bites crowd. Whatever your preference, if you find yourself in the neighborhood of 712 EAT + DRINK, swing by for some good food, or a cold drink, and be sure to tell them that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you! Until next time! Melanie J Schwarte If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa. com
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Gal Gallup polls indicate at 5.9% of the ggeneral population of th the United States of A America. N Now onto the biker wo world. If we could co collectively stand up against profiling, us usages of warranty kil killing fuels, and ove overall showing that
In my younger years I never really thought that I would be a “political” type of person. I was more along the lines of the guy that just wanted to make a living, enjoy my time off, enjoy my time with friends and family, and keep on keeping on. As I have become longer in the tooth, I have come to the realization that the folks that have fought the battles before my time are longer in the tooth and going away more rapidly than I care to admit. Maybe this is just the natural progression of life, being oblivious to some extent in younger days and then growing and maturing and taking on the realization that the life we live is controlled by ourselves. If we are going to keep living the life that we lead, enjoying the freedoms that we hold near and dear, and not becoming subjects, that we need to step up to the plate, so to speak. That is why when my good friends Eric and Christy approached me about coming on board as an MRF Assistant State Representative, I gladly took the plunge.
the riding community is in general a regular part of society, we wou would all be better off. With a unified national voice, we could stand shoulder to shoulder against those that wish to silence us, outlaw us, and make us go away. Why should we care about a collective voice? Well, for one, the Motorcycle Industry Council reported that 8.02% of American households have motorcycles. Over 8%, that is huge. That accounts for millions more in the riding community than in the LGBT community, so we have the numbers, we just need a unified voice and be able to stand together as Freedom Fighters.
How do we get a unified national voice you ask? Well for one we need to support our state motorcycle rights organizations for things on the local front, but for federal issues, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation is THE only organization with lobbying power at the Nation’s Capital. Joining the MRF is the first step to collectively band together with other like-minded souls that want to be able to live free, ride free, and pass that freedom on to I am writing this bit now to give a little bit of perspective on generations to come. For the about the price of two tanks groups and group dynamics. One thing that I have noticed of gas in a bagger, $35 per year, you can join the collective over the past few years of our “woke” type of society is voice to help keep our rights intact. If you are interested in that groups of people with a loud voice seem to get a lot of becoming a FREEDOM FIGHTER here in Iowa, contact notice. The squeaky wheel gets the grease type of thing. me at vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com, Eric at eric@mrf. The following by no means is an approval or chastising the org, or Christy at ckclemons78@gmail.com at for more group mentioned, just so that we are clear on that, but just information. You can also grab a ton of information on simply a look at how things work. In the past few years, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation website at www.mrf. it seems that the LGBT and whatever other letters go with org. Also, in every issue for the past couple years there has that now, have been getting a ton of notice. Shows on TV, been an MRF membership form you can fill out and mail flags everywhere, backgrounds on profile pictures on social in or go online and register. Help us make Iowa shine on media, and all over the place. Special shows, special days, the National stage for motorcyclist’s rights and become one special parades, all sorts of stuff based upon the collective Bad MRFer! voice of people in that group. All this mainstreaming into our current world done by the LGBT community that Vernon Schwarte
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1912 Motorcycle Manual
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Doctor walks into a staff meeting. One of the other doctors points at his head and says you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear. No, I don’t. Another doctor says yes you do. Reaching up to his ear he pulls out the thermometer looks at it and says some asshole has my pen. A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, “Can I have a cigarette?” The bartender replies, “Sure, the cigarette machine is over there.” So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says, “Oi, you bloody idiot.” The man says with surprise in his voice, “That’s not very nice.” He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, “Ooh, I like your hair.” The man says to the bartender, “Hey, what’s going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why’s this?” The bartender replies, “Oh, that’s because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary.”
Who’s the most popular ar gguy uy aatt th thee nudist colony? The onee who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all ll the Viagra. The police ce put out an alert to be o on n the lookout for the two wo hardened criminals. Two Italian men get on n a bus. bus u. They sit down and engage agee iin n an animated conversation. n. Th Thee lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men ssay ayy tthe he following: “Emma comee firs rst. t. Den I come. Den two o as aasses sess se come together. I comee on onceonce c ce a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.” “You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!” “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom. The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons are. Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari. Guy 2: That’s nothing. My son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet. Guy 3: Well my son is more successful than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle. Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys. Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about? Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are. Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper. Guy 2: You must be so disappointed with what he’s done with his life. Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a What is Moby Dick’s dad‘s name? Ferrari, a jet, and a castle from his three boyfriends. Papa Boner. What happens when you cross a shark with a cow? I don’t know but I wouldn’t milk it. A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver. The boy keeps repeatedly saying,” If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I’d be a little calf. If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I’d be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I’d be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I’d be a little duckling.” The annoyed bus driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, “What if your mom was a drunk and you dad was a bum?” The boy responds, “Then I’d be a bus driver.” Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, “You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to outrun that bear!” “I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replied. “I only have to outrun you.”
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A man goes to the doctor and says “I’ve got a problem, I have 5 penises.” The doctor says “Wow, how do your pants fit?” He replies, “Like a glove.” There was this little boy about 10 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He walked up to a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, “I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money and I’m not leaving until I do.” The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, “Do any of the girls have any diseases?” Of course, the Madam said no. He said, “I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making it with Amber. THAT’S the girl I want!” Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, “Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?” He said, “Well, if you must know, tonight when I
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get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with my baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of little boys. She will get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll jump the baby-sitter’s bones, and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, because that damn mailman is the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!” I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level. A guy is walking when suddenly falls and injures his hand. On his way to the hospital, he sees this huge ad on a new machine. The ad claimed that the machine is able to diagnose any disease and write treatment plans for it only by taking urine sample. The man walks to the machine puts a penny in it and then gives the sample. After a few beeps, a note comes out “your hand’s tendon is injured, don’t put it under any stress and exercise”. The man was amazed and decides to mess with the machine, so when he reaches home, he takes a bottle, then pours some water in it, then makes his dog urinate in it, and then sees his daughter’s chewed gum on floor so puts it on the bottle also, and finally to sum it up, masturbates in the bottle. Then heads towards the machine and gives the sample to the machine. After 10 minutes of strange noises and sounds that machine made, a note comes out “your water pipe will clog soon, be sure to fix it. Your dog will die in 2 weeks, be prepared for it. Your daughter is pregnant, go beat the boy living upstairs. And if you keep masturbating like this, your injured tendon won’t heal!” Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn’t like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn’t often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each. Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit’s wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could! Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?” Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!” Why do vegans give better head? They’re used to eating nuts. A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing and the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing.” He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?” A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one. Quickly, the new “gorilla” becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the “Human-like” gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples’ attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lion’s den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion’s den. The man starts screaming “HELP!! HELP!!!” Suddenly a lion pounces on him from behind and whispers in his ear, “Shut the hell up right now or you’re going to get us both fired.”
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Just need to Survive this time of the year
Maybe I messed up, screwed the pooch, dropped the ball, made a rare mistake, lost sight of the big picture…but there is something concerning me about riding this year that does have me a slight bit discombobulated. I know that is just a big word, like gymnasium. You see as I crank out my monthly commitment to the greatest motorcycle magazine on the planet, Thunder Roads Iowa, I am god smacked by my lack of dedication to the cause. This is the first winter in more winters than I can count that I don’t have an idea of what I want to do this year when it comes to my riding plan. No, I don’t have to have a plan to go riding, it’s not that kind of plan I suppose, and some clarity is what I owe you so I can get you up to speed on exactly what in the hell is going on in my mind. Oh, trust me; it’s no cake walk when it comes to dealings that constitute rational, trackable thought processes. I can wear my own damn brain out the way it zips around…mostly in a rattling nature. No, I have never sought out treatment for it, because that kind of scares me. What if calming my brain led to some great freaking ideas being stifled and I just flat out miss a cool idea? What if some sort of dark humor joke never came to see the light of day because I was medicated to focus on just a few dozen salient ideas? I mean, I love me some dark humor jokes. Medicate, no. I am going to pass on that. Sure it’s a pain, but it’s a pain I am used to and we all dance with the devil that brought us to the burlesque party. When I come to the point of medicating, I will just continue to self-medicate. Perfect solution? Yes, I do believe so.
one needs to write them down. The difference between a dream and a goal is jotting that sumbitch down! It’s really that simple, am I over simplifying it? No, not really, it’s just that simple. You can dream about something as much as you want, but dreaming about it will result in just that, it remains a dream. If you really want to live your dream, write it down, you become responsible to yourself to a great deal and that results in achieving your great deals because they become your goals. I didn’t crank out any riding goals this past winter when I was working on my 2022 goals, a list that has changed drastically more than I had anticipated my goals changing to over the past decade or so, for no pure reason other than I really don’t have any idea what kind of time I will be looking at to even have free time to ride and that was a gut punch of self-realization. What in the hell am I doing with my life that is so important that I put off one of my favorite things to do, riding. Riding to me is not just transportation. Oh, sure it can be, I need a fun way to zip to work, boom, swing over a leg, 14 miles to one job, if I ride to the other, it’s a great fun ride about 25 miles and change on top of the first 14. I should do it more, but I use the excuse to return calls or preview some audio I might be needing to work on, like so many I justify NOT doing something because of stupid, nonsensical reasons that when you look back you think “Man that was pretty goddamn lame”. A conversation started that was innocent enough, talking about a new brand that I will be playing with this year and partnered up with, been a long time coming and it’s going to be a wonderful partnership that I will bust my ass to make work for all parties involved. A well respected couple of friends, guys I have only recently crossed the barrier and moved on from “friends” to the kind of guys you ride with and trust to ride with. Yea, that kind of special, dudes that flat out get me as much as I get them. While we were having varying levels of discussion, it was pointed to me flat out, where are you going to be riding to this year? Are you headed to eastern Iowa? What about Sturgis? Are you going to ride down to the largest ball of twine again in the middle of Kansas? Your new jobs will give you more freedom this year, what are you going to do with it?
Okay, as I was saying, I don’t have a plan this year.
WTF! I haven’t even had time to consider the potential of making this the best riding year of my life! I do have I am pretty dedicated to goal planning. The kind of stuff a couple of great careers that I have dreamed about havthat I have talked about in these hallowed pages several times over the years. Everyone needs to have goals; every- ing for years, with that, I will have some work travel 32 - TRMI FEBRUARY 2022
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requirements but all of those travels can be done, ON A BIKE, points that for some reason didn’t even click. I have several friends in eastern parts of the state that I haven’t seen in years, the type of folks when you show up, beers are cracked and jokes are picked up right from the last moment you make them to gather. Easy weekend, even three day trips to get away and knock some miles out and gain some smiles. But I haven’t considered any of that yet. Why!!! I legit have NO excuses. I simply haven’t committed to making some plans, drawing up some goals, and making things happen. The sexy bastards I ride with all share the same passion that I do, saddle time is the best time and, like me they all know the truth. We are endeared by the idea that because we are riders we all have the freedom to drop what we are doing and just point the front tire towards the horizon and just twist the throttle. Man that sounds romantic doesn’t it? Well how many times do we actually pull off some old school, open road romantic shit like that? Damn near never happens because we let life get in the way all the damn time The same reason we don’t ride to work as much as we could, we find reasons NOT to do the things we love because why? Are we afraid we will enjoy it too damn much? Riding can be a lot like sex, if you don’t make an effort to get on it once in a while you forget how much damn fun it really is. OR was the parable I had in mind, you have a great ride but if you don’t enjoy it, someday it will be some other persons to ride and enjoy? I can’t keep them straight in my brain. It’s the middle of winter and I am dreaming, scheming, and planning my riding adventures and how the hell I am going to get though the F month, a month that, once I am in charge, and I will be, will be stricken from the calendar, we don’t need It. My next few times with my amigos will be filled now with planning of summer adventures, blocking dates on the calendar, and making the best season of riding in my life about to get underway. As long as I can survive a goddamn February. Todd “Crash” Davis
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May 14 May 22
2022 Jan 22 Jan 29 Feb 5 Feb 12 Feb 12 Feb 12-13 Feb 18-20 Feb 19 Feb 25-27 Feb 24-26 Feb 26 Feb 26-27 Mar 5 Mar 6 Mar 11-13 Mar 12 Mar 13 Mar 19 Mar 19 Mar 26-27 Mar 26 Mar 26 Apr 1-3 Apr 2-3 Apr 3 May 1 May 1 May 7 May 7 May 7
Winter Sucks Party LHHD Pacific Junction Indoor Poker Run LHHD Pacific Junction Biker Luau LHHD Pacific Junction Pre-Superbowl Party LHHD Pacific Junction Metro’s 31st Annual Chili CookOff Metro HD Cedar Rapids Capitol City Custom Cycle Show & Swap Iowa Events Center Des Moines 36th Annual ABATE D2 Lincoln Bike Show Harley-tine’s Day! LHHD Pacific Junction World of Wheels Milwaukee Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Sleeping Angels Gala Boone 52nd Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Mardi Gras Party LHHD Pacific Junction Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids World of Wheels Chicago Kiss Me I’m a Biker LHHD Pacific Junction Wade’s High Performance Swap Meet & Trade Show Des Moines Two Wheel Trauma by Slider Gilmore Davenport March Madness LHHD Pacific Junction 33rd Annual Donnie Smith Show and Swap Saint Paul, MN Accident Scene Management Presentation by Slider Gilmore Marshalltown March Madness LHHD Pacific Junction World of Wheels Omaha North Iowa Motorcycle Expo Mason City Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL 4th Annual Blessing of the Bikes Muscatine 38th Annual Spring Swap Meet Monticello 11th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone 16th Annual Chrome Divas Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids CMA Blessing of the Bikes Crapo Park Burlington
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PGI Riders Blessing of the Bikes Metro HD Cedar Rapids “Thank You For Your Service Rides” IA Veterans Home Marshalltown May 26-30 Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Jun 4 Ride for Darcy Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jun 11 CVMA Patriots Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jun 11 Patti’s Riders 4 Thrivers Poker Run Council Bluffs Jun 18 Two Wheel Trauma by Slider Gilmore Nevada Jun 25 Chains Interrupted Freedom Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 1-2 Iowa Hog Drags and Nostalgia Reunion Humboldt Jun 30-Jul 2 Freedom Rally Algona Jul 9 15th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca Jul 9 PGI Riders Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 16 Hospice Ride Burlington Jul 23 Cruzin’ for a Cure – Cystic Fibrosis Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Jul 30 Solidarity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Aug 5-14 Black Hills Motorcycle Rally Aug 13 Little Timmy’s Ride for Babies Metro HD Cedar Rapids Aug 20 Kyles Mile 8 Metro HD Cedar Rapids Aug 21 Quad Picnic Blakesburg Sep 1-5 Redneck Revival Rally (Over 21) Conesville Sep 2-5 Midway Tavern’s 24th Annual Solider Valley Poker Run & Street Dance Soldier Sep 3 2nd Annual Hot Rods, Hot Bikes w/Dave Kindig LHHD Pacific Junction Sep 17 Chrome Divas of CR BOCA (breast/ovarian cancer awareness) Cedar Rapids Sep 18 World Famous Butterfield’s M-C Parts Hot Dog Daze Omaha, NE Sep 22-24 MRF Meeting of the Minds Des Moines Sep 24 Toys For Tots Run Mediapolis Sep 25 “Thank You For Your Service Rides” IA Veterans Home Marshalltown Oct 1 Chrome Divas Mac & Cheese Cook-Off Metro HD Cedar Rapids
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