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On the first Saturday of November, Just when I thought I had written ttteen th the he I happened to be in Marshalltown most difficult Letters from thee E Ed Editor ditor ittor at ABATE of Iowa STEAM ever, here we go with the finall listening to a presentation by month of this god forsaken year. ear. I ea Charlie “Chopper” Gilmore have been trying to write this iin n and Brian Bidleman of CMA my head for about two weeks about Freedom, Faith, now. I was avoiding it and Family. By the until after Election Day, way, it was an amazing knowing full well that we presentation by these would not have definitive two cats that I am glad I could answers that day, or even in sit in on. After Brian got done the weeks to follow. We havee speaking, the announcement dealt with so much bullshit this is is was made that the MSM had year it is sickening, and it seems ms ms declared Joe Biden the new to me that the conveyor of crap President Elect. The elation just keeps running and dumping more on us every day. Some days I just want to go ride and from an incredible presentation by these two men was forget about it all, but then it is now December in Iowa and then brought back down to reality with a collective sigh of disappointment from the group. That room full of Freedom that is most generally not an option. Fighters understood fully the gravity of that announcement and the implications it may have for the coming months and I am not naïve enough to think that with the passing of the years of our lives. There may have been some in the room year 2020 that everything will magically return to normal, that supported the announcement, but if so, they were sure as that would be an entirely foolish notion. I do know quiet as hell. A group of my cohorts, my type of people, that as I am writing this on deadline day, we have a main like minded freedom loving people, including many loved stream media declared president elect, a president that has and respected people, were all seemingly saddened by this not conceded due to suspected election fraud, MSM that announcement and I am guessing all have been figuring out is a joke and pushing major narratives, and supposedly how to cope with the changes we will see coming in the virus BS is far more widespread while strangely having future. lower mortality rates. That my friends is what I would call a giant CF. Nice end to the year, eh? I try not to get The other side of me does not want to blindly follow on political on these pages, I really do try hard at that, but at the path that is being thrown in front of us right now. I this time, I don’t know what the hell is going to happen, don’t know what the answer is to that, but I do know that so it is bleeding in here a bit. It does affect how we do there seem to be some things that don’t seem right, that and will live our lives at this point though, so not totally don’t add up, that back up the Presidents claims of fraud in inapplicable. this election. Part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs that this is all bullshit and keep making noise until it I am personally torn right now. I have the utmost respect for our country, our flag, our service members and Veterans, can be positively and succinctly nipped in the bud, or the results that the MSM announced be overturned. I want to our constitution, the rule of law, and the office of our be able to continue to publish Thunder Roads Magazine of President. Those things for me will never change. I may Iowa with the support and sponsorship of many readers and have or will lose respect for the person or persons in those businesses alike. The past few years we have been able get positions, but will still respect the position. That, I guess, out and about and see the effects of a great economy and is why I am torn. Part of me wants to wave the white flag we sure as hell would love for that to continue. This year and say that I have had enough of the madness and if the with virus, election, restrictions, and business closures, it President elect is who was voted in, then just deal with whatever comes down the pipe as it comes. Although I fear has been hard on all of us. If things could get back to where they were a year ago, that would be great with me. It is there are many things coming that will irrevocably change amazing how far down the rabbit hole we can go in a the way we live our lives if we all take that approach. I KEEP READING ON PAGE 27 know that my stance on this is not alone in my own head.
On the Cover Tis the season for bikinis, right??? Well regardless of how ya wanna celebrate the holiday season, here’s a look at Natanic’s Pinups model Kirsten rocking her festive bikini body in Natanic’s Garage! You can see more of this blonde beauty, and all of Natanic’s models with your own Natanic biker babe calendar, and word on the street is that the 2021 calendar is “Buy 1 get 1 Free” for online orders only thru Christmas at Natanic.com 4 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
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I can hardly believe it, but we’re almost to one of my favorite days of the year. No, I’m not talking about Christmas, although Christmas does rank right up there. I’m talking about the first day of winter. Mind you, I love daylight – lots of daylight. I love the summer evenings when we can ride all day and at 9pm the daylight is just beginning to fade. Winter is my least favorite season, but the reason I love December 21st is that it represents the turning point. It’s the day of the year with the fewest daylight hours BUT it’s also the breaking point from the increasing darkness and the turning point toward increasing daylight. So even though I’m still driving home from work in the dark; even though it’s too cold to ride (I’m a winter-time wienie!) ; even though we have at least two more months of ice and snow, I know that there’s a change coming. This year, we’re in even more need of a reason to look ahead to a positive change. Whether it has been the threat of your elderly loved ones getting COVID, political upheaval, riots, adjusting to your kids’ crazy school / no school schedules, recovering from the derecho that went through the state, or all of the above, we really need to have something good to look forward to. Something that puts hope in our hearts. Yep, now I’m going to talk about Christmas. Because when Christ was born as a both a human baby but still God, he became the breaking point from the increasing darkness of despair and sin. Yet for 30 more years, there was no apparent change in the world. Life was still dark and oppressive. Survival was a struggle. Death still ruled with an iron fist. But when Jesus turned 30 years old, it was time. The Bible tells us in Luke 4: 17- 19 that Jesus went to the synagogue and read aloud these words about himself: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” Jesus then began to perform miracles of compassion, healing the sick and feeding the poor, but more importantly, he brought the message of God’s grace and forgiveness of sin to all who would accept it. He taught the people how trusting God would bring peace to their hearts even though they were still living under harsh Roman rule. I don’t know about you, but when I was younger (ok, like up until last year), I used to think that if the Lord would just change this aspect of my life, I would be happy and at peace. And that situation might change, but then another situation that I didn’t like would pop up. What the heck? Why wasn’t God keeping a better eye on my life to keep it running along smoothly? Why these constant issues? I am finally realizing that the internal changes that Jesus brings are the lasting changes. When I remember the lessons he has taught me on forgiving myself and forgiving others, I have the tools to 6 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
deal with crabby people that we encounter at work, but I also have the reminder to forgive myself after I’ve lost my cool and given them a piece of my mind. I am able to cheerfully share with those in need when I remember that the Lord has always taken care of me. I am able to be thankful for my dear, sweet, kind, loving husband even when he leaves his brown boots under the coffee table in the living room . . . and his black boots, and his slippers and the bubble wrap from the Amazon package that came last month. OK, so maybe Jesus has a few things left to work on in me! The point is that Jesus is the turning point for our lives. He is the only way to have a restored relationship with God the Father. He is everything we need, even on the days we just want him to change the situation we’re in. He IS the hope for our future. Wishing you all a blessed and Merry Christmas – Karla Mark and Karla Cornick are with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
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Edwards Motorsports and RV’s The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1010 34th Avenue throughout Iowa that sponsor the Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 magazine. You can pick up your 712-366-8400 copy here every month. Let them fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa 1500 E Army Post Road Biker Friendly Business Listing and Des Moines, Iowa 50315 become a part of the network, 515-256-9062 please email Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Crispy’s Biker Apparel Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Candy Store Harlan Sweets & Treats 1004 6th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-7018 Harlansweetsandtreats.com
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
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Indian Motorcycle of Mason City Mason City Powersports 12499 265th Street Mason City 641-423-3181 Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460 Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
Big Daddy’s 506 W Main Street Lewis, Iowa 51544 M,W,TH,F 4PM-*, Sat-Sun Noon-* Zipp’s Pizza & Big Patio! Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Catfish Charlie’s Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee On the Mississippi River Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 Specializing in Weddings & Receptions (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Desperados Anamosa, Iowa 52205 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 319-462-3925 712-243-7087 Nationalmcmuseum.org Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop Firehouse Bar 810 Jeppeson Road 1211 5th Street West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-332-8029 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
Food and Drink
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigos Bar & Restaurant on FB Bea’s Place 108 N Main St Baxter 641-227-2080 Check Us Out on Facebook Food, Live Music, Bike Nights
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Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
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J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
Polk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon.
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery 112 E Jefferson Street Prairie City, Iowa 50228 515-630-9639 Whiskey Barrel Pub and Eatery on FB
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
The Open Road Bar & Grill 501 Ann Street Irwin, Iowa 51446 712-782-4545 The Open Road, Bar and Grill, LLC on FB
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PM-
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook
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State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Guns and Ammo
TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Photo and Art Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Insurance & Financial
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Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
Services
JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930
Legal
Shops & Fabricators Blackwell Gas 431 3rd Street Manilla, Iowa 51454 712-654-2812 Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768
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Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY & INDIAN ONLY
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Eagle Motorsports 1425 Washington Street Eldora 641-939-1461 hotrod70@mchsi.com Eagle Motorsports on Facebook
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
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Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
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Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
SHOP EQUIPMENT Shop Tools Outlet Powersport / Auto Lift Supplier Marshalltown, IA 50158 888-288-6657 www.shoptoolsoutlet.com
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Scooter Tramp Page 3
RAMBLINGS
With all the drama produced on social media these days, there’s little need for tabloid publications to spew their gossip, but ya still see them occasionally while in line at the grocery store. Years ago the British tabloids were known for publishing racy photos of female celebrities (or soon to be celebrities, thanks to these photos) on Page 3 of their publications, so the term “Page 3” has become associated with such photos. I never put much thought into the Page 3 reference (because I only bought the tabloids to read the articles, I swear!) but after publishing Natanic’s Pin-ups calendar the first few years, and taking in the humor from bloopers and behind the scenes pics during the photoshoots, I decided to integrate a page assigned to just such pics. This also made a good place for the all the credits, disclaimers, contacts, and things of that sort, and due to layout and the placement of material, Page 3 was the only good place for it. This was an unintentional reference to the British tabloid tradition, but sure makes for another good laugh now! So we all know bikers tend to be some pretty funny folks anyway, and when ya invite them to come hang-out with some pretty ladies in bikinis and lingerie, and of course on occasion add some alcohol into the mix, that presents a prefect recipe for some very entertaining behind the scenes action! The best shoots happen when everyone’s in a good mood and laughing anyway… I means sure, a lot of “biker babe” shoots come across pretty serious or intimidating attitude in the model’s emotion, but a beautiful smile also turns heads just as quick! And even when a certain shoot works better if the model comes across as some sorta “Billy Bad-Ass” in the calendar feature, there’s no reason she can’t goof around and keep us laughing
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behind the scenes! And there’s always the occasional stocking or panty adjustment, or boobs need to be shifted under the top, or a garter strap pops loose just as I click the shutter button, or whatever other “wardrobe malfunctions” you can think of. And there always seems to be plenty of middle fingers aimed at the camera at any given time, and sometimes it’s just plain cold and goosebumps are standing up like soldiers, which maybe explain a lot of the middle finger expressions??? But even on a warm day, we’ve had to sit out rain more times that I can count, and a few times I’ve even just had the model get soaked and we worked it into the shoot. Often times makes for a great photo, but not so great for the camera equipment. And the wind is certain to wreak havoc on the perfect hair style, or sometimes and dog just runs into the scene for some attention, and then the law authorities have to check up on things occasionally, although I haven’t got any uniformed officers talked into a pic with the models yet. I’m still working on that! When it comes to those British Page 3 photos, them limeys are bit more relaxed than the typical American and the showing of bare naked boobs, so for the most part their Page 3 content didn’t leave much to the imagination. Although Natanic’s calendar has remained mostly nipple free, Page 3 of the calendar has had a few “nip-slips” in recent years, and the centerfold has become something that them Brits might find more to their liking. And I suppose a few red-blooded American folks too! So get your calendar NOW at Natanic.com “Naatanic” Nate Ullrich Nate Ullrich www.Natanic.com
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Jody Phelps Altoona, Iowa. 2004 Honda VTX 1300S
Kathy Bowers Mingo 2006 Victory Jackpot 2013 Victory Cross Country
We want you on our pages! If you are an Iowa Girl of Thunder, send us a quality image, your name, year and model of bike, and where you are from to: vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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any of the places we frequent. Thin slices of skirt steak with onion, jalapeno, tomato, and a special sauce arrived paired up with generous helpings of creamy refried beans and fluffy Spanish rice. I was initially surprised by the level of heat in my sauce, but the overall deliciousness factor overruled the heat and I enjoyed every last bite that I could eat. Did I mention the portions are HUGE? Make sure you have plenty of room for deliciousness, because leaving
Antojitos Carmen
207 Main Street Columbus Junction, Iowa 52738 (319) 728-9055 Tuesday- Saturday 10:00 AM – 9:00 PM An unsuspecting storefront on Main Street in downtown Columbus Junction may not strike you as the location for first class Mexican fare, but when the door you darken belongs to Antojitos Carmen, that is exactly what you are going to get. The physical appearance resembles other Mexican restaurants we have visited, but that is where the similarities end. This establishment is a family business, cozy, and welcoming with perfect representation of comfort food.
any of this behind is a travesty. The menu here also offers sopapillas and cheesecake for dessert options if you haven’t already overfilled your tank by that point. There are also numerous imported beer options, margaritas, and other nonalcoholic drinks as well. If you haven’t
Our waitress was quick to arrive at our table and was quick to discover that Vernon and I have a tendency to be a bit sarcastic. She took all of our grief in stride, and also provided us with the cure for Coronavirus. We quickly learned that our helpful waitress was in fact the daughter of Carmen herself, and that her Mom would be preparing our supper personally. We chatted a bit and found out that this small town restaurant actually got its start in California… In a Boyle Heights parking lot to be exact, as a Breed Street food vendor. The Ortega family got themselves a storefront in Los Angeles after the street food vending, adding classic Mexican dishes and comfort foods to their street food menu. Eventually the Ortega’s made yet another move, to small town Columbus Junction, Iowa…and boy are we glad they did. Learning all of this, we certainly had high hopes for this small town treasure we had stumbled upon. Their menu had a little bit of everything on it, from Gringo friendly tacos and burritos to authentic pozole and menudo. Vernon asked for a recommendation and was told that the Alambre was to die for. At this point I had to consult the menu, as I had no idea what he was about to order. It turns out that this dish is a delish combination of ham, bell peppers, bacon, steak, tomatoes, onion, and cheese. All mixed together into a huge plate of deliciousness. Not spicy, not salty… just a perfect combination of meat and vegetables. If you added some scrambled eggs to the mix, we could eat this for breakfast every day! I opted for the Bistec A La Mexicana. I have never tried this dish, let alone seen it on a menu at 18 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
previously stepped outside of your comfort zone and tried new dishes when you are out to eat, I suggest you do it here. This food is made with quality ingredients and more importantly, it is made with love and pride by the Ortega family. Antojitos Carmen has been a labor of love for this family, and it shows in the food they serve their customers as well as in the customer service they provide to patrons. Do yourself a favor and make this a stop on your next trip around South East Iowa, and tell the Ortega’s that Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you! Melanie J Schwarte If you have a suggestion for WRTE, please email me at Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
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Happy A Anniversary!! In this h great country off ours we celebrate anniversaries. Wedding, sobriety, history, automotive industry and so on. This year one organization celebrates 100 years. The American Legion.
Two of those posts that I want to mention are right here in Iowa. Post 111 in Newton and Post 46 in Marshalltown. Both have strong membership in the Legionnaires, Auxiliary, Sons and The Riders. I have had the honor of being a part The American Legion was chartered by Congress in 1919 as of the Newton post and served in many roles, presently as a patriotic veteran’s organization. November 11 was Veterans Chaplain. Who are the Riders? Day and celebrated around the country. The Legion focuses on service to veterans, service members and communities. The Riders are members of the Legion family who are also The Legion evolved from a group of war-weary veterans motorcycle enthusiasts. The Riders provide assistance in of World War I into one of the most influential nonprofit many of the Legions events as well as raising money through groups in America. Membership quickly grew to over 1 their own events. The money raised goes to local charities, million, and local posts sprang up across the country. Today nursing homes, disabled veterans, and scholarships for high membership stands at nearly 2 million in over 13,000 posts school seniors in their local areas. worldwide.
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They ride in holiday parades, perform flag lines at public events and veteran’s funeral services. They also provide escorts to cemeteries, presentation of flags and plaques to surviving family members. They also participate in escorts and/or flag lines for military units leaving for duty and when they return. The Legion Riders promote motorcycle riding and live up to their motto: Ride to Honor, Honor to Ride.
So, stop by your local American Legion and have a drink, eat some food, visit friends, play some pool or darts, or just thank a veteran for their service. Any money they take in goes right back to serving their local community. Wish them a Happy 100th anniversary. Maybe even join the Legion in your area. The more hands there are, the more people they can help.
The American Legion Family are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, Veterans, and Warriors. They pledge to support our youth, communities, country, service members, and veterans. They make quilts, sell poppies, play bingo, golf, support local sports and community activities.
Newton Post 111 and Marshalltown Frank Lewis Glick Post 46 both have Facebook Pages where phone numbers and addresses are listed. Make it a destination motorcycle ride or just stop in after a long day at work. Support your local American Legion.
The Legions have had their ups and downs over the last 100 Stay humble and kind. years. Some are private clubs and some like the Newton post Ray Johansen and Marshalltown Post are open the veterans’ public. Many have closed over the years, but many also continue to thrive. They are also looking to recruit new members and welcome donations of any kind to continue to support veterans and communities. The Newton Legion has annual fundraisers like local Football Friday Nights, gun raffles, quilt raffles, pork and beef feeds, poker runs and other events to raise money. The Marshalltown Legion has a beautiful tribute Memorial walkway that honors veterans, a freedom rock, golf course, an F-4 Phantom Fighter Jet out front and holds many events to support veterans, their families, and their community.
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The Enthusiast December 1954
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\year, in an election year, especially when some people will do everything they can to win at any cost to the American people. I fear that business closures, restrictions of travel and gathering, restrictive mandates and mask mandates, and all sorts of things are going to be jammed down our throats under the auspices of the common good. If that is in fact the case, none of our beloved events, rides, bikes nights, and gatherings will be safe from untimely demise. Nothing will go on without consequences, if they are allowed to happen at all.
results wholeheartedly, I don’t trust those that gain power by ill will and chicanery, and I don’t trust the main stream media at all. I do know that it will be hard for many to be governed by an establishment if any one shred of evidence of wrongdoing is proven right. I sure as hell know that if the powers that be are allowed to gain and maintain power by any means necessary, then I will work to feed my family by any means necessary, and I am not the only one that thinks this way. I truly do not know how I am going to proceed from here on. I will keep doing my own research and decide what is going to be in the best interest of my Freedom, Faith, and Family and then choose my path. Be safe everyone, and God Bless America.
I guess the biggest thing in all of it is that it all comes down to a trust issue. I don’t trust most anything the media tells me. I don’t trust most of what politicians or the government tells me. I sure as hell don’t trust things seen on social media or things that are mass emailed out. I don’t trust anyone that tells me not to gather If you ride, do so safely. with friends and family, but allows protesting riots and Vernon and Melanie Schwarte gatherings to celebrate election results. I don’t trust election
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or this December issue of Thunder Roads, I am F reflecting on this year. With so much craziness going on, I would like to take a little time to thank
everyone for their support of ABATE of Iowa throughout this past year. You have supported us by becoming an ABATE member. You all came out to the Freedom Rally, which is historically our major fundraiser for Iowa. You supported ABATE by taking your riding skills class through our rider education program. A big thanks to all of you that got out and patronized our supporting businesses during this year’s difficult times to help them out. We know they appreciate the support as well. As we get ready for 2021, what will it hold for ABATE and the motorcyclists of Iowa? Honestly, we have no way to predict the future in these uncertain times. But whatever arises, you can be sure that ABATE will be there to face the challenges as they arise. We will look out for your rights at both the state and the federal levels. We will continue to make available the best rider education courses in the state. No matter what 2021 has in store for us, ABATE will be there to help face any challenges that arise. As we finish out the year, I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We will see you in 2021.
David Duffy ABATE of Iowa State Coordinator
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A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it. The guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?” “Nope,” replies the second guy. “Everyone’s at the funeral.”
she wants. I’m stumped.” His buddyy ssays, ays, ay s, ““II have haave v an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” The first fellow does just that. The next day, his buddy asks, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?” “She loved it. it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed ed Two drunks are lying on the floor, and one of them is me on the mouth, and ran out the door oo or sticking a finger in and out of the other drunk’s ass. When a yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours!’” cop walks by and looks at the drunks, he says, “What the hell are you two doing?” The first drunk replies, “Oh, I’m just A guy and his date are parked out ut in i tthe hee helping my friend vomit.” So, the cop says, “Do you think country away from town, when they heyy start he sttart star art ar I’m stupid? Sticking your finger in his ass is no way to make kissing and fondling each other. Justt th then, hen en,, th the he your friend vomit.” “Just wait until I stick it in his mouth,” girl stops and sits up. “What’s the ma matt matter?” tter tt err?” replies the drunk. asks the guy. She replies, “I reallyy sshould houl ho uld ul d have mentioned this earlier, but I’m m A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with actually a prostitute, and I charge the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the $100 for sex.” The man thinks backseat. “No!” yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, about it for a few seconds, but then en n and the guy asks again. “For the last time, no!” says the reluctantly gets out a $100 bill, pays ays her, her er,, blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, “Well, why the hell not?” and they have sex. After a cigarette, ette et te,, he te The blonde says, “Because I wanna stay up here with you just sits in the driver’s seat looking o out ut tthe he dumbass!” window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” ywh wher ere? er e?”” e? asks the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series this before,” replies the man, “but I’m actually a taxi driver, of tests, the last of which had left his system upset. Upon and the fare back to town is $50. making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his “Daddy, where did I come from?” seven-year-old Rachel bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully to remain rational. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the other books, and explain all they think she should know hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. “Does that swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a answer your question?” the mom asks. “Not really,” the little tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring girl says. “Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the where I came from.” whole incident walked up and asked, “What the hell was that all about?” Still staring down, the drunk replied: “I Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!” going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her A man was taught by his momma since he was a little boy hand, “Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!” Miss Rogers says, “All that all women have teeth in their vaginas. He’d been a right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?” Sarah says, virgin his whole life based on what his momma instilled in “Mas-tur-bate.” Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, Sarah, him. On his wedding night, he and his new bride on in their that’s a mouthful.” Sarah says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re honeymoon bed, foolin’ around. All of a sudden, he rolls thinking of a blowjob.” over and turns off the light. His wife says “Wait, wait, wait… aren’t we going to have sex?” He says “no way, my mom done One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of told me about you women. Ya’ll got teeth in ya’lls vaginas.” the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other She says “no I don’t, if you don’t believe me turn on the light boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush for and look.” So, he turns on the light and she shows him. She so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. says “well?” he says “No wonder you ain’t got no teeth, just The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the look at the shape your gums are in!” stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away, so he An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom man asks, ‘’Why are you going to sleep on the floor?’’ The told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for I felt something getting hard, so I ran.” a change.” A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, “I his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady.” He everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything replies, “If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift by 30 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
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itself.”
demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The A typical macho man married mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, “My a typical good-looking lady, wife’s first husband.” and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. “I’ll An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills be home when I want, if I want, out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he what time I want, and I don’t is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and expect any hassle from you. I shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that expect a great dinner to be on the as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and table, unless I tell you that I won’t be explains to her what has happened. She replies, “Well get home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can boozing, and card playing when I want with my old get disability!” buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?” His new A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow, you must have had understand that there will be sex here at one hell of a day.” “Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is seven o’clock every night, whether you’re gay.” The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks here or not.” for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what’s wrong, the man says, “I just found out that my youngest son A guy decides to do something nice is gay, too!” On the third day, the guy comes into the bar for his girlfriend before they leave on and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, vacation so he gets her name tattooed on “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?” The his penis. He comes home and shows it to man downs the first drink and shakes his head, “Yeah, my her. She looks at it and says, “That’s great, wife!” sweetie, but what is ‘Wy’?” He tells her to rub it and as she does, she sees it actually reads A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. “Wendy.” When they arrive at Montego Bay, the The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained couple are walking along a nude beach and the boyfriend consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you notices a black guy with “Wy” on his penis. He asks the were in a pile up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay; man if he also has a girlfriend named Wendy. The black guy you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. laughs and says, “Nah, mon, mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was have a nice day.’” chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.” The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $9000 in There was an old couple lying in bed. The man turns and insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the tells the woman, “If you want to have sex, pull on my dick technology now to build you a new willy that will work as once. If you don’t want to have sex, pull on my dick one well as your old one did, better in fact! But the thing is, it hundred times.” doesn’t come cheap. It’s $1000 an inch.” The man perks up at this. “So,” the doctor says, “it’s for you to decide how many A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to inches you want, but it’s something you’d better discuss with which the husband answered, “What do I look like to you? A your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you landscaper?!” Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But again, “Honey, can you fix the faucet?” The husband replied, if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to “What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!” Two days later, invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. a light bulb went out and she begged him again, “Honey, So, it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make can you change the light bulb?” His reply was, “What am I? the decision.” The man agrees to talk with his wife. The An electrician?!” A few days later, the husband comes home doctor comes back the next day. “So,” says the doctor, “have from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, you spoken with your wife?” “I have,” says the man. “And has the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, “Honey, she helped you in making the decision?” asked the doctor. what happened here?” The wife replies, “You know our new “She has,” says the man. “And what is it?” asks the doctor. next-door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything.” “We’re getting a new kitchen.” The husband says, “Honey, how did you pay him?!” “Oh, you know,” the wife says, “he told me that I could either bake Peter sat at his dying wife’s bedside. Her voice was little him a cake or have sex with him.” Somewhat relieved the more than a whisper. “Pete darling,” she breathed, “I’ve a husband asks, “Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took for him?” The wife replies, “Who do you think I am? Betty the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your Crocker?!” best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly tax evasion to the government.” “Don’t give it a second departed mother and started back toward his car when his thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. poison?” answered Peter. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you What does a horny frog say? Rub it. have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this Merry Christmas all from the TRMI crew! Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
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I mean, it happens to the best of us.
So, that was an 18-month long shit show huh?! I mean, finally it’s damn near complete. It can’t get any worse right? Did I really say it couldn’t get any worse? I don’t believe in jinxes so likely it won’t be pinpointed back at me for something I said, but the finish line is a bit away yet and I am freaking exhausted mentally… just limping home. The kind of limp home a fat, white guy would have trying to run a 5K he didn’t train for and along the way, got bit in the ass by a lion and stung by a murder hornet in the left testicle, leaving the infected stinger lodged deeply within said left nut, while the infection spreads and the remaining protruded stinger is bent over, precariously close to ramming into my taint while I limp with a smile towards the finish line. Or maybe it’s not even that good. I am just tired of this bullshit from 2020. If you have been reading my articles in this awardwinning publication for the last, hell, I don’t even know how many years I have been writing for Thunder Roads Iowa, I try to end the year on a positive note, a bit uplifting perhaps. A positive eye to the future and the hope that springs eternal that the next year will be our… my…best year yet. I really am, for the most part, a positive outlook guy. Sure, I can cast a jaundiced eye and usually I am pretty good at seeing through various degrees of bullshit, but I think that not so much of that is centered around life breaking it off in my ass from time to time. I mean, in varying degrees it does to most people, it’s how we react or recover from said ass breaking that defines us as a “human” and not just a person. Sure, life has some degree of messing with my sunny pleasant outlook, but at the same time, I think it might be simply that I am getting older and my “I don’t give a shit meter” is broken. And rather than repair it, I just get crankier and crankier. It kind of builds up in you, like overused oil in an old Shovelhead, if you don’t flush things out good and proper, shit just keeps piling up and up and pretty soon, you lose all ability to cool down and a meltdown ensues. 32 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
Never sweat the petty stuff and never pet the sweaty stuff or something like that I once read on a bumper sticker. Or maybe it was a beer koozie, or hell it could have even been above the urinal at some great biker bar after burning up and down a couple of hundred miles, a few cold ones, and a basket of wings. I don’t know, but it’s great advice either way because it is the truth. Just chill out and stop worrying about every little damn bad thing in the world. I was actually going to sit down, fire up a fat ring gauge cigar, pour a glass of Irish Cream Liquor (mixed with 1/3 club soda, the bubbles opened the flavor), and crank out an article for the boss of bosses about some of the good shit this year. I really was. But it’s not that I couldn’t FIND good things to bring up, really, somethings have been great. For myself and my family it’s been a really good year. My bride moved up in the world with her jobs, I have taken on bigger roles with some of the companies I work for, our kids are killing it in school, my son is loving serving our country in the Air Force, I spent more time with my family that I have been able to in years, sure, many of my friends has contracted the “unseen enemy” that is the virus, damn near all of them pulled through in little or no time and it was not the sky is falling as the national media made it out to be. I mean, it sucks for anyone, but those around me have pulled through. I lost some friends, a couple while riding, a couple from cancer and other bullshit, but that is the ebb and flow of a normal year, not just because of you know…2020. That stuff always sucks, but it’s not really any different than other years when I step back and take a big picture view. I thought about doing a year in a review and let’s…blah, blah, blah. But here is the deal. I am not really good at looking backwards. It drives my wife crazy sometimes, but while I am a big fan of history and have a pretty fair education and recall of history, I can’t live in the past. Once things happen, I simply move on. “Oh, it’s been_____ days or years since something happened.” I don’t care. Remember when such and such…Nope, don’t care. I really don’t give two shits what you did in High School (and if you are talking about your high school conquests, be it in sports, the hallway, the back seat or under the bleachers and your over 30, tell me what was
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like to peak before you were old enough to vote. Even thinking about conversations like that gets my cackles on fire. Drives me insane! I want to prepare for the next adventure in life, not relive the previous versions. For the record, I think celebrating any birthday after you’re 21 is pretty dumb, but not as dumb as celebrating somebody that is graduating high school. Wow, you achieved the bare minimum to complete the easiest thing you are ever going to do…attend High School. Everybody gets a trophy! College graduation? That’s an achievement. The High School diploma…least expected level of effort you will ever need to fulfill. But that is just me. You see, I just couldn’t do a “hey let’s’ look back at how shitty 2020 was!” article, there are enough of those floating around and I am doing my level best to look forward to kicking ass and taking names in 2021. I mean it has to be better than this year, goddam Eddie Van Halen died in 2020! So did James Bond! Alex Trebec…so many others…Kobe! Dammit, when I put my bike away it wouldn’t start either. It has never given me any issues and I still can’t believe it won’t run. Fine, maybe 2020 did really suck and now, reflecting back, I think I just felt a murder hornet land on my sack. Keep it between the ditches. Todd “Crash” Davis
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MRF Riding Free From DC Your Motorcycle Riders Foundation team in Washington, D.C. is pleased to provide our members with the latest information and updates on issues that impact the freedom and safety of American street motorcyclists. Count on your MRF to keep you informed about a range of matters that are critical to the advancement of motorcycling and its associated lifestyle. Published weekly when the U.S. Congress is in session.
MRF Legislative Champions: Senator Ron Johnson (Wisconsin) – Not Up for reelection in 2020 Senator John Thune (South Dakota) – Not up for reelection in 2020 Senator Joni Ernst (Iowa) –
Won reelection to new 6-year term Senator Gary Peters (Michigan) – Won reelection to new 6-year term Congressman Tim Walberg (Michigan)- Won reelection to new 2-year term Congressman Michael Burgess (Texas) – Won reelection to As votes continue to be counted and races decided here is an new 2-year term update on how some of our champions and allies fared on Congressman Collin Peterson (Minnesota) – Lost reelection election day. Congressman Troy Balderson (Ohio) – Won reelection to new 2-year term All four co-chairs of the House and Senate Motorcycle Caucuses were successfully reelected. In the Senate the cochairs are Senator Ernst and Senator Peters. The House cochairs are Rep. Burgess and Rep. Walberg.
Congressman Peterson, a longtime friend and ally to the riders in Minnesota was defeated. He has served in Congress since 1991. We at the MRF wish him well and thank him for his countless years looking out the interests of all motorcyclists. Benchmark One of the important things the MRF has done over the last two years is drive cosponsors to H. Res 255 regarding profiling. Not only does adding cosponsors help in passing the resolution but it is a great way to build new relationships with lawmakers. Additionally, it raises the profile of the MRF on Capitol Hill and shows us which Congressional offices have an open mind to our concerns. As of election day we have 139 cosponsors of the resolution. How many of those will return in January for the opening of the 117th Congress? Returning Cosponsors: 124 Defeated Cosponsors: 5 Retiring or Ran for Other Office: 10 Remember, as more votes are counted these numbers could change slightly. Nevertheless, we should see nearly 120 lawmakers who supported one of our main priorities returning to the House of Representatives next year. 34 - TRMI DECEMBER 2020
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July 1951 American Motorcycling Vol 1 No 7
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2021
Before heading out for any of the scheduled events on our dinner ride/bike night list and our events listing, please call ahead to make sure they are still happening. With all of the closures happening as of late, many events have been forced to reschedule or even cancel all together. But with or without events to attend, tearing up some pavement has always been a bikers preferred form of social distancing. Ride safe and ride often! Nov 27 Nov 27 Dec 5 Dec 11 Dec 12 Dec 12 Dec 18
Feb 13 Feb 19-21 Feb 25-27 Feb 27 Feb 27-28 Mar 7 Mar 12-14 Mar 12-14 Apr 11 May 1 Jun 12 Jul 1-3
30th Annual Chili Cook Off Metro HD Cedar Rapids ABATE of NE Dist 2 Bike Show Lincoln Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Sleeping Angels Gala Boone 52nd Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids World of Wheels Omaha World of Wheels Chicago Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL 10th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone 7th Annual Children’s Cancer Unit Poker Run Council Bluffs ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona
Black Friday Event Big Barn HD Des Moines Turkey Run Clinton Chrome Diva SLD (Santa’s Lil Divas) Cedar Rapids Ladies Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction Santa at Metro Metro HD Cedar Rapids Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines Men’s Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction
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