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December to all year long. Maybe we could try to extend the spreading of well wishes to others for more than just December? Face to face we could be more jovial and appreciative of one another. On social media, maybe try to pretend that you are face to face with people when postings are made. It is very easy to make an “anonymous” type of social media post when the readers are not standing in front of you. Be more respectful in general to other people, and decide what battles are worth fighting for and how we should fight them. Not every meme or comment is worth inciting rage over, so learn to let things go and realize that. Just be nice, until being nice is detrimental to you. More kindness will be ever so important in the next eleven months as the trash talk and mudslinging will be at an all-time high level. Don’t stoop to the level of bullshit, be a better person, and be respectful of others, not just in December, but all year long.
Here we go closing out ut 22019. ut 019. 01 9. It iiss real rreally re eal ally lly y hard to believe that 2020 00220 is is rright ighhtt aaround ig roounnd roun the corner. I am really ly y llooking ookiing oo ooki ng forward to next year bbecause ecause ecau ec se I se am getting older, and in i tthe hee past few months havee hhad aadd to buy a couple pairs of of cheaters to set around d tthe he he office and gun shop. Th T The he year 2020 will make things a lot easier to see right? I started off the year being a smartass, so figured I should end the year tth the he same way! In all seriousness though, ugh,, ugh, ug December is a great tim tti time ime me of year, despite the lack of miles that we are able to ride. Many have put away motorcycles for the season, torn them apart to work on or customize them, or taken them in to favorite shops and dealers for storage or winter work. December is a great time of year to put things on a wish list for the holidays as well. Maybe, if you are lucky, you have someone that may want to get you a special gift for your motorcycle. Even if that special person is you, motorcycles need love too and December and the holiday season is the best time for presents like that. Another thing that makes December a great time of year is that people generally are nicer for the most part to one another in general. You can hear wishes of “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” just about anywhere you go. Many people are active or at least have accounts on social media and can see these types of good tidings there as well. These well wish biddings are awesome, and a great step to take it from just
On the Cover
This month’s cover features Natanic’s Pin-ups calendar girl Jeana on Natanic’s long and lean 1989 Softail Chopper. Nate chose cover/calendar girl Jeana as the model, her long legs and perfect curves accented this bike in all the right ways! Jeana can also be seen in Natanic’s Pin-ups 2020 biker babe calendar available at Natanic.com where online calendar sales are “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” through the month of December! (BOGO valid for online orders only) Get more info on his crazy scooter on this month’s calendar page, and see more of Jeana’s fine frame in Natanic’s calendar available at Natanic.com
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Everyone seems to have a Christmas wish come December, and mine this year is pretty straight forward. I don’t know how many of you pay attention to the yearly weather predictions, or the farmer’s almanac even, but each year weather patterns are studied to give us all a heads up on what to expect from Old Man Winter before the cold even sets in. I wish that the winter weather predictions are correct, because if they are, then we can expect the majority of the white stuff to land on us this month, then we can work our way towards warmer weather through the months of January and February. The gift of an early riding season for all that is my wish this year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all! Vernon, Melanie, Sabin, Soren, and Violet Quote of the Month: “When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things—not the great occasions—give off the greatest glow of happiness.” Bob Hope
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TRMI TR MI DECEMBER DEC ECEM EM MBE BER 20 BER BE 2019 2019 19 - 5 TRMI
Well, Mark’s bike went off to the shop for a little TLC this last week. It needed a new front tire and our mechanic was also going to install some experimental parts. Today he called and left a message saying that the new thingamajig had gone on without a problem and that the whatchamacallit was running fine. Mark seemed pleased and is looking forward to taking it for a test ride between blizzards. OK, so the shop guy didn’t really use the same technical terms in his phone message that I just used. But even if I could remember the exact words, they still wouldn’t make much sense to me. I’m just not a gear head. However, I really, really appreciate the people who are! The gearheads will know the full story of why my bike keeps dying - that pushing in the choke narrows the flow of gas to the engine, which is still cold and a cold engine requires more fuel to fight friction and keep the pistons turning but after the oil heats up and lubricates the engine, there will be less friction holding the pistons back, so the motor will turn at the same speed on a reduced gas supply. But in their mercy, they cook it down to a short lesson that I can actually work with – something really basic like “Leave the choke out a little longer and you won’t have so many instances of killing your bike when it’s cold.”
Christ.
At the beginning of my Christian walk, I heard terms like “Jehovah Jireh”, or “omniscience” or “our God is compassionate and gracious”- none of which really stuck in my mind at the time. But when Mark was laid off from work for almost a year and we had a family of 4 to feed, clothes, and shelter on $500 a month, hearing that “Jehovah Jireh” means “The Lord, my Provider” took on a whole new meaning as we prayed about the money situation. And since our freak accident I’m thankful that I didn’t have to understand how my bike that left Mark with long-time health issues, hearing that the word “omniscience” means that “God is all-knowing” ran before I could take advantage of its stress-relieving helps us break the cycle of trying to figure out why the powers and its ability to transport me from point A to accident happened and trust that God was not caught by point B in rumbly style. I did need to learn to perform surprise and that he has a plan. And knowing that the Lord some basic safety checks and recognize when something describes himself as “the Lord who is compassionate and is running a bit off kilter so Mark can take a look at it. gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love” helps me But eventually, I began to learn more advanced bits and when I come to him to confess the same sin that I’ve been pieces because of situations that came up over the years – for instance, I learned how to switch to the reserve tank struggling to overcome for years. The confusing terms take on real meaning when I reach out to God for help. on the fly and how to identify that a high-speed wobble is probably due to loose back spokes. It’s amazing how If you want to keep going forward, you have to keep those previously unknown and ignored parts of the bike leaning on the same principles that were true at the take on meaning and grab your focus once you’ve been beginning. Just as we will never grow past the need to intimately involved with them! The T-CLOCS safety perform T-CLOCS inspections on our bikes, we will never checks took on a whole new meaning and even now, 15 be capable of living a Christian life without the Gospel of years into riding on the streets, are part of the pre-ride Jesus Christ. We will never grow too old or too mature or routine. too good to benefit from the truths of the Good News. I’m also thankful that we don’t have to completely understand the Bible in order to experience forgiveness of sins and have our relationship with God restored. We need Wishing you all a Joyous Christmas – Karla to know that we were all born sinners; we need to accept that Jesus Christ paid the penalty of our sins with his own life; and we need to know that Christ’s sacrifice enables us Mark and Karla Cornick are Area Reps for the Christian to know God. That is called the gospel, or good news, of Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about God and his plan for you at www.cmausa.org Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 6 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
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Indian Motorcycle of Des Moines The Biker Friendly Business Directory is a list of establishments 1500 E Army Post Road throughout Iowa that sponsor the Des Moines, Iowa 50315 magazine. You can pick up your 515-256-9062 copy here every month. Let them Indianmotorcycleofdesmoines.com know that you saw them in TRMI. If your business would like to Indian Motorcycle of Mason City advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Mason City Powersports Biker Friendly Business Listing and 12499 265th Street Mason City become a part of the network, 641-423-3181 please email Masoncitypowersportsinc.com vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Biker Accessories Coolbikerstuff @ The Old Bait Shop 2103 Okoboji Ave MILFORD, Iowa 51351 712.338.8888 & 214.914.4555 Crispy’s Biker Apparel 1701 C Street SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa Find Us On Facebook
Dealers Auto Karl Chevrolet Stuart Austin Vanlandingham 324 SW 8th Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1201
Dealers Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com
Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Loess Hills Harley-Davidson 57408 190th Street Pacific Junction IA 51561 712-800-3500 loesshillshd.com
(Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations)
Metro Harley-Davidson 2415 Westdale Drive SW Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com
American Legion Post 46 1301 S 6th Street Marshalltown, Iowa50158 641-752-3612 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week
Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com
American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org
Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net
Big Daddy’s 506 W Main Street Lewis, Iowa 51544 M,W,TH,F 4PM-*, Sat-Sun Noon-* Zipp’s Pizza & Big Patio!
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Bloodline Irish Pub 214 Public Square Greenfield, Iowa 50849 Bloodline Irish Pub on Facebook
Food and Drink
Bullys’ Angle Inn 505 US 151 Walford, Iowa 52351 10am-12am Check Us Out on FB
Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
Entertainment Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818 Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30
Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com Edwards Motorsports and RV’s 1010 34th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-366-8400
National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org
Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) Specializing in Weddings & Receptions
fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com
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Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings
Flaming Office 201 W High Street Toledo 641-484-2255 Outdoor Patio, Happy Hour 5-7 Flaming Office on Facebook & Google Flat Tire Lounge 304 S Madison Madrid 515-795-4174 Outdoor Patios – Happy Hour 3-9 Flat Tire Lounge on Facebook Grinnell Pub 909 State Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-260-8003 Grinpub@aol.com Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12 Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper Johnie’s Tap 112 NE 2nd Street Stuart, Iowa 50250 515-523-1146 Mon-Sat 9:00 AM-Close Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128 KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 1-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-2017
Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00
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Knickers Saloon 2186 Central Avenue Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-557-0887 365 Days a Year Knickers Saloon on Facebook McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00 Sat & Sun 11:00 Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar! Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Red Oak Tap 419 E. Reed Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-623-4788 Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com Roadhouse 105 Washington Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2272 Home of the Marne Burger Rumors Bar & Grill 400 F Ave Cedar Rapids, IA Live Music & Food 319-286-0806
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandbar Mondamin
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
Scooters on Broadway 475 NE Broadway Des Moines, Iowa 515-288-1053 scootersonbroadway@hotmail.com
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
Sportsman Bar & Grill 103 1st Street Pisgah, Iowa 51564 712-456-2222 FOOD, FUEL, FUN
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PM-
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
Polk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon.
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
Ralph’s Moorland Tap 508 Front Street Moorland, Iowa 515-549-9702 Here For the Beer!
T.J.’s Pourhouse 100 E. Washington Street Exira, Iowa 50076 712-268-2353 Open M-SAT.@11, SUN.@ NOON
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The Buck Snort Restaurant & Sports Bar 25 Scott Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51503 712-328-2825 TheBuckSnortrestaurantandsportsbaronFB
The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook
The Buck Snort Glenwood 419 Sharp Street Glenwood, Iowa 51534 712-520-6454 Buck Snort Glenwood on Facebook
The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com
The Buck Snort 113 4th Street Neola, Iowa 51559 712-485-9090 The Buck Snort on Facebook
The Station Grub & Suds 205 W Kimball Street Hancock, Iowa 51536 712-741-2337 Come Party on the Patio!
The Buck Snort Harlan 3002 23rd Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2825 The Buck Snort Harlan on Facebook
Tobey Jacks Mineola Steak House Mineola, Iowa 712-526-2078 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us Out on Facebook
The Buck Snort Neb City 715 1st Corso Nebraska City, NE 68410 402-713-5169 Buck Snort Neb City on Facebook
Twisted Corn Tavern 1405 Walnut Street Dallas Center, Iowa 50063 515-992-3868 Twisted Corn Tavern on Facebook
The Buck Snort Oakland 310 Dr Van Zee Road Oakland, Iowa 51560 712-355-5315 The Buck Snort Oakland on FB
Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30
The Buck Snort Red Oak 322 E Coolbaugh Street Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-357-1701 The Buck Snort Red Oak on Facebook
Whatcha Smokin? BBQ+Brew 403 Iowa Avenue Luther, Iowa 50152 515-257-7490 Tuesday-Sunday
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
Wild Hogs Saloon & Eatery 350 Commercial Drive Walford, Iowa 52351 Open 11:00 Every Day Check Us Out on Facebook
The Full Nelson 205 West 2nd Street Halbur, Iowa 51444 712-658-2425 The Full Nelson on Facebook
Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
The Pastime Lounge 114 S 4th Street Cherokee, Iowa 51012 712-225-0219 Facebook/Patio/Food
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Guns and Ammo 2A Firearms Training Training to Protect Your 2nd Amendment Rights 641-439-6660 Craig.2aft@gmail.com
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Guns and Ammo JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY & INDIAN ONLY
Photo and Art
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
Thunder Road Cycles 4106 Rockingham Rd Davenport, Iowa 52802 563-323-3172 Thunder Road Cycles on Facebook
Tires
Services
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Insurance & Financial O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Southwest Iowa Sandblasting Mike Magers 65162 Oxford Rd Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-249-3995
Jewelry Bill’s Jewelry Shop 903 Main Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-236-1008 Rings Checked FREE!
TheBikerLawyers.com The Biker Lawyers, P.C. Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452
Shops & Fabricators
Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com
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Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Trailers Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
SS Collision, Cycle Works & Graphics 2902 11th Ave SW Spencer, Iowa 51301 712-262-3959 www.sscollision.com
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s
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Lori Livingston 2014 FLHTP Electra Glide Police Black Betty 2018 FLHXSE CVO Street Glide Lava Girl Iowa City
Jane Greteman 2016 Harley Davidson Freewheeler Carroll We want you on our pages! If you are an Iowa Girl of Thunder, send us a quality image, your name, year and model of bike, and where you are from to: vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
Sarah Dudley 1996 FZR 600 Yamaha Des Moines 16 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
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shock” during the years of World War I and “combat fatigue” after World War II. But PTSD does not just happen to combat veterans. PTSD can occur in police officers, paramedics, civilians who have found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. What does this mean for our soldiers, law enforcement, and first responders? This means that they will likely endure intense, disturbing thoughts and feelings related to their experiences that last long after the traumatic event en has ended. They may relive the event through as flashbacks or nightmares; they may feel sa sadness, fear or anger; and they may feel d detached or estranged from other people. P People with PTSD may avoid situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event, and they may have strong negative reactions to something as ordinary as a loud noise or an accidental touch.
We use this page each month to tip our hats to an individual who has chosen to serve our country and put their lives on the line to protect all that is America, and all who reside within its borders. But what happens to those heroes when they return home? Where do they turn when the wounds left by war do not heal on their own? The idea of service dogs originally developed centuries ago as an option to assist the blind with daily n activities, some say as far back as the Roman Empire. In the early 1800’s Dr. Johann Wilhelm Klein helped to develop the idea off g harnesses for guide dogs, further developing the idea of modern-day service dogs. Despite the development of the harness, the use of service dogs didn’t really begin to take off until almost 100 years later. In WWI troops used dogs in various ways to help the war effort, including carrying aid to the wounded and assisting rescue teams with locating injured soldiers. After WWI, Germany pioneered the use of guide dogs for Veterans who were blind after combat. This effort spread to the United States around 1923 when an American woman, Dorothy Harrison Eustis started breeding and training German Shepherds and eventually founded the first guidedog training school in the United States. In following years, schools and organizations were founded all over the world. In the 1930’s the Swiss Army began training dogs for avalanche and snow rescue and in World War II, all sides of the conflict started training dogs for military work. Thus, when US soldiers came back from World War II, some of them were experienced dog trainers. Some of these veterans even started teaching classes for civilian dog owners. In 1990, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was passed, and it defined the idea that service dogs could be used to help with conditions other than blindness and deafness. As the service dog industry continued to grow, organizations were formed to help certify both service dog training organizations and service dogs. Around this time, people started training service dogs to help with a wider range of disabilities. Various species of dogs were trained to assist children and adults with various medical and emotional disorders, and of course, veterans and others suffering from PTSD. You may ask yourself, what is PTSD? The clinical definition is as follows: “Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/ combat, rape or other violent personal assault.” PTSD has been known by many names in the past, such as “shell 18 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
So what can service dogs do for those with PTSD? They help to calm a person with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder during an anxiety attack, or performing other duties. Service animals are working animals, not pets. The work or task a dog has been trained to provide must be directly related to the person’s disability….so how does one obtain this specialized animal? There are numerous options for service dog training in the United States, but one such program close to us is Javelan in Omaha, Nebraska. Javelan’s vision is “To be a responsibly managed social impact organization providing funding for service dogs to active military, military veterans and active and retired first responders, empowering these men and women to lead meaningful, independent lives.” Javelan assists with providing funding and training for these service dogs so that veterans and first responders in need may return to society and lead productive lives. As a 501C3 founded in 2017, Javelan depends on volunteers and donations to run a successful program. If you or someone you know could benefit from the services provided by Javelan, please visit the website at www.javelan.org or email any questions to info@javelan.org. If you would like to help out, or provide financial assistance to this honorable program, visit the website above, or call 402-218-1234 option #4 to speak with a representative. Cases of PTSD are diagnosed more than 3 million times per year. That is a staggering amount of suffering for our nation’s heroes to endure. These men and women have put their lives on the line to protect ours, so let’s all do our part to help heal their wounds. Melanie J Schwarte melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
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“Natanic” Nate Ullrich picked up this ’89 Softail chopper from a friend over 10 years ago, but it was in very bad shape... Even though it ran, wiring was dangling all over, the starter jack-shaft kicked the inner primary away from the motor and tranny, and it was full of gaudy cheap aftermarket chopper parts evident of the fat-tire chopper craze of the day. Nate opted for a full tear-down right away, with the motor and tranny pretty much being left alone, but added Invader wheels with a sprotor on the rear, open belt primary, new gas and oil tanks, and clip-on handlebars from a crotch rocket. The bare frame showed engineering flaws, so Nate’s good friend Panhead Mike cut the frame from the seat post to the front motor mount and completely re-fabbed everything, but still left the geometry the same at 15” up, 10” out, and 44 degree rake, with the accompanying 22” over forks.
great deal on the battery and didn’t charge for towing, so I left them a stack of Natanic’s biker babe calendars in return.
This is the 4th Chapter of an Iowa boy’s attempt to ride all the lower 48 states. If you haven’t read the previous chapters, I advise you to find the back issues of TRMI to take in the full story. Enjoy…
From there it was smooth sailing for the sm day, d as we rolled into Indiana (State # 20) In and an then jumped on I-70 and called it a I night somewhere east of Indy. The next day we continued east into Ohio (State # 21) but before meeting up with I-76 in m Pennsylvania (State #22) Penn we ran into some heavy rain. Seems it was riding with us the rest of the day, before we finally called it a night near Harrisburg, PA, right across from the state capitol.
Tuesday, June 18th, 2019: 9am I meet up with longtime friend Harlan an Hanks from Tipton, IA. Like me, Harlan has set goals to ride in as many states as he can, and being retired he has the time for it. Harlan and I have been discussing the possibility of a New England ride since I returned from my northwest ride in 2018, and he was ready to go, on the agreement that we avoid big city traffic as much as possible. I agreed, and added that we set-out to see some 1948 Tucker cars… There’s too much to add here about the Tucker, but in short there’s only 47 still known to exist, and I’ve been so fascinated by them that I have one featured on the cover of Natanic’s Pin-ups 2020 calendar, along with Harlan’s 1948 Indian. Therefore, we left Davenport heading east on I-74 crossing into Illinois (State #19) and things were good until around Peoria, my bike died, no battery power at all. I called Carl Pusser, a well-known bike builder in the area, but he was on the road, so he directed me to the crew at Semper Fi Cycles, who came out and hauled my bike to their shop. Their main tech was out for the day, but in the meantime Todd Felder from Elite Customs farther north in Rock Falls, IL saw my distress post on social media, and sent his friend Cody Young over to assess things for us. Cody figured out right away that my battery suffered an abrupt death, so the Semper Fi guys hooked me up with a new one right away, and we were only set back about 2 hours from break down to on the road again! Plus the Semper Fi crew gave me a 22 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
Hershey, PA sits just east of Harrisburg, and although known for chocolate, is also home to the Antique Automobile Club of America’s museum. The museum hosts a wide range of antique cars, but most notably to me was the Tucker display, which features Tucker #1, #22, and #26, along with one of the hand built cars used in filming the 1988 movie Tucker – The Man and His Dream. Along with the cars, they also display the world’s largest Tucker collection with many prototype engines, NOS Tucker parts, original design documents, and our timing was just right because they temporarily had the “Tin Goose” housed downstairs too. Although the Tin Goose was the first prototype, it is not considered #1, because it was not part of the 50 production models built in the Chicago factory
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before the doors were closed. There’s quite the storied history behind these cars, and I highly advise anyone with interest to Google more info and see the movie. Aside from the Tuckers, the museum also hosts a Studebaker collection, an old bus collection, and they also had a temporary HarleyDavidson display with about 40 bikes on hand from 1912the early 80’s. Additionally, Harlan’s son Phil was on vacation with his family in the area, so Harlan got to visit with them, a mere 800 miles from home. We left Hershey around lunch time, after hitting a hardware store to replace some front fender mounting hardware that fell off somewhere along the line, and as timing would have it, we got stuck in rain again all the way up to I-81 and I-84 before finally getting ahead of it in New York (State # 23). We followed I-84 a short bit in New York, then jumped on the Taconic State Parkway. This road is intended for passenger vehicles only, no trucks or trailers, but never saw a sign that mentioned no motorcycles, so I think we were within the law? Either way, we then jumped on Hwy 44 and called it a night near Amenia, NY. Next morning we were in light showers again, with a forecast that promised to have us outta the rain by noon-ish. That worked out fine because my friend Rob (who I worked with in Sturgis) lives in the region, so we took Hwy 44 into Connecticut (State #24) and met up with Hwy 7 north into Great Barrington, Massachusetts (State #25). Robs owns South County Tattoo in Great Barrington, and when we stopped he was in the middle of inflicting some pain on a customer. Pretty sure he gets a kick outta it! But we grabbed some coffee and sat things out as the rain let up, and then left Rob to his masterpiece on flesh. Highway 7 is a beautiful ride, and only gets better the farther north you go, so we continued into Bennington, Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
Vermont (State #26) where Hemmings Motor News is located. My wife and I went to Laconia Bike Week in 1998, and passed through Bennington along the way. I recall the Hemmings gift shop was a neat little stop with an old gas station, which is still in use, so we made a point to stop and were greeted with a beautiful white restored Indian Chief in the store. They too have a car museum, but we were fixing to get farther east for the night, so we took off east on Hwy 9, which is another great ride through quaint little towns that truly give the feel of “New England Charm.” The architecture and layout of the roads just has a unique feel all its own. Just outside of Wilmington, VT I happen to look over in the tree line along a campground and caught a brief glimpse of a young moose running, before it disappeared into the trees. So I guess it’s safe to say the Moose Crossing signs are for good reason! Highway 9 brought us into New Hampshire (State #27) and it was getting late in the afternoon, so accommodations would be needed, and with plenty of motels along the route it seemed like easy pickings. But we wanted to get east of Concord for the night, where we jumped on Hwy 202 then hit a dry spell… Not a single hotel along 202 until we got in Rochester, but we finally found a place right at dark, and made our nightly efforts to dry out riding gear again, while drinking a few beers in the motel parking lot. Thoughts were in our heads that Maine was literally just a few miles away, but it was dark, and we were thirsty! Nate Ullrich www.Natanic.com Be sure to grab TRMI next month for the 5th installment of 48 States.
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So when a friend asks if you want to go for a ride in two weeks you instantly say sure. You don’t hesitate, you don’t care where you are going, when you’re leaving, or what’s the weather going be. You just know you’re gonna ride. Looking back you should at bare minimum ask all these things. Because when you finally get, ‘the rest of the story’, you realize this is no ordinary ride. It is going to be a 1,200 mile round trip, 4 nights in a hotel, all for 3 miles. Yes I said 3 miles, all on an airport runway no less. This is a special ride designed to set a world record. The longest parade of Harley Davidson only Guinness World Record! Now that I have you confused maybe we need to backup a few years. On May 22, 2010 in Patras, Greece, the Hellas Motorcycle Club attempted to set a new world record for most Harley-Davidsons only in a parade. At the end of the day they accomplished this goal. Final count was 2,404 bikes on a 2.8 mile trip verified by Guinness World Record officials. After holding this record for 8 years, Paris Harley Davidson in Paris, Texas and Adam Sandoval, known for his Scootin America mission, decided it was time to “Bring It Home”.
fueled their fire. They stepped back, took many deep breaths and went after it again. They would not accept defeat, not this time. The date was set, October 5, 2019 would be the day they would “Bring It Home” once and for all! Now that you’re all up to speed, it’s time to ride. During casual conversation with friends, that happen to ride, I told them the craziness of the upcoming ride. They expressed interest just like me but were unable to go. Bummer, the more the merrier, right. So fast forward past the packing, getting last minute supplies, new rear tire, etc. My friend texted me the day before taking off to make sure all was a go. I told her sure was, just wished they were coming with us. Less than an hour later she texted me they were going! Talk about last minute. Needless to say, they managed to get packed, arranged work and found the last hotel room in a 100 mile radius. Motel 6, 1 night for $150.00. Yes overpriced but worth it.
Fast forward. First 540 miles all September 15, 2018 PHD and Sandoval was good, fuel, made their move to “Bring It Home”. This attempt fell short food, stretching, taking breaks as needed. Final 60 miles with only 1,911 bikes crossing the finish line per Guinness’s took almost 2 ½ hours to complete. Let’s just say Mother official radio verified click count tag system. Due to many Nature thought it would be a great idea to hang out under an obstacles including logistics, weather, breakdowns the underpass with 12 other fellow bikers for 1 ½ hours. Once attempt fell short. This did not discourage the sponsors, it back underway it was rain gear off and warm Texas sun.
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The plan on the day of the ride was simple: 7am to 12pm stage on tarmac, validate pre-registration documents, kickstands up at 12:45pm. Even the best laid plans don’t always work out. Let’s just say things got behind by a few hours, yet not a single person complained. Yes we all were there for the record, yet that was not the most important reason. It was the brother/sister hood we all share. So what if we had to stand on a sweltering tarmac for a few more hours. It just meant more time to make new friends and enjoy life. Finally the announcement we had all been waiting for, it was time. Last minute instructions were given: 1st we needed to ride single file past the Guinness representative to record our digital click count tag each rider had on their left hand, 2nd try to ride side by side once past him to help with the flow, and finally a suggested 20 mph speed limit. OK? I can speak for every bike. The first rule was followed 100%, the 2nd rule was followed 50%, the final suggestion of 20 mph, ya right! I myself broke 60 mph more than once as did those passing me. Note of importance: not a single accident by anyone, just solid, responsible, safe riding by all. At the end of the day we had accomplished what we all had set out to do. We enjoyed a 3.5 mile ride with our family. Oh and set a new Guinness World Record! 3,497 Harleys, 3,497 plus people, and 1 vintage military plane leading the parade flying the red, white, and blue! We increased the bike count by over 1,000, extended the length by almost a mile, and raised over $52,000 for charity! Did I forget to mention 100% of profits will go directly to Motorcycle Missions, a non-profit organization benefiting Veterans and First Responders. Not a bad day at all! Fast forward home. Within 24 miles we had to pull over to eat and sleep. Who knew 8 hours on a hot tarmac would take that much out of you. The following morning Mother Nature was at it again,375 miles later cold, wet and needing food and sleep again we took shelter. Finally we were able to make the last 200 miles easy peasy. All riders, bikes made it home safe. All with memories that we will never forget. So the moral of the story, when a friend asks if you want to go for a ride, always say yes. Make it happen, it will be worth the adventure. You may even meet a celebrity. Just want to thank Jeremy for the invite. He is the ugly one in the middle. For those that don’t know, he is posing with ‘The Orney One”, T.J. and his wife Stephanie, but that is another story.
Here we are in December; the bikes are put away and we are all wondering how long until spring and when we can get out riding again. Well at ABATE we are plugging away. We have just finished up November with elections and Iowa STEAM. The Legislative session will start in January and we will be on top of any bill that affects our members and the motorcyclists of Iowa. We are also getting ready for our lobby day at the state capital on February 12th, 2020. We are also working hard on the 36th Annual ABATE Freedom Rally July 2nd, 3rd, 4th ,2020 at freedom park in Algona. If you are looking for that last minute Christmas gift for that motorcycle person in your life how about an ABATE of Iowa Membership or maybe an advance ticket to the Freedom rally; check out our website for either of these. www.abateiowa.org or www.abateiowafreedomrally.com Finally, we at ABATE would like to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. David Duffy “Duff” State Coordinator ABATE of Iowa
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Big Al’s BBQ, Adel 715 Main Street Mon–Thurs 11:00 AM – 8:00 PM Fri & Sat 11:00 AM – 9:30 PM Closed Sunday 515-993-5777 If you’re from Iowa, I know you have seen the commercials… you know the ones, where the guy poses the question, “What’s an Asian guy doing making barbeque in Des Moines?” Well, he is now peddling his goods in Adel as well, but from what I learned this isn’t really a new thing, but rather more of a return to his roots. Big Al’s was actually born as a catering business in 2012, from the back of a tiny garage in Adel. Al Laudencia and his Father-In-Law started it all with a dream of smoking the best beef, pork and chicken in Iowa and delivering the best catering experience possible to their customers. Fast-forward several years, and numerous smokers later, and together the duo had achieved…even surpassed their original goal, and decided to open a sit down location in Des Moines. Most recently came Al’s return to Adel when he hung his shingle at 715 Main Street…and boy are we ever glad that he did.
I know this will shock all of our loyal readers, but Vernon placed his order for the….wait for it…..Breaded Pork Tenderloin Sandwich (I know, I know….I was shocked as well). But in all fairness, this tenderloin is in a league of its own. Al’s version of this classic sandwich is first hardwood smoked, THEN hand breaded in a southern cornmeal breading, deep fried, and served on a brioche bun. The standard comes with fries, but being such an accommodating establishment, you can opt for any of Al’s homemade sides that spark your interest. Vernon stepped outside the box and asked for the deviled egg potato salad. It was a great addition to the crispy tenderloin, as it had firm, yet tender potatoes, and a creamy mustard flavored dressing that perfectly complimented the sandwich. I am a sucker for good pulled pork, which can often be difficult to find…the GOOD part that is. I am all too often disappointed in my porky endeavors, as it seems it frequently reaches the table in a dried out state, a mere shell of its former self. This was NOT AT ALL the case here. Al’s pulled pork sandwich was not only over loaded with meat, but from the first bite to the last, it was juicy and flavorful. I was beyond pleased at my selection this time! Alongside my delicious sandwich came my 2 side dish choices. I opted to get French fries, which were a crispy, golden example of potato perfection, and a bowl of burnt end baked beans, which arrived as a dish of sweet/spicy meaty goodness.
Now, like any self-respecting barbeque joint, we were offered a plethora of sauce options to accompany our dishes. I feel it is necessary to reiterate at this point, that the juicy, tender, and deliciousness levels of the meat on their own didn’t require any saucy additions at Al’s. You all On a busy Saturday afternoon, Vernon and I decided that know where I’m going with this…some barbeque experijust listening to people tell us about their delicious expe- ences require the addition of sauces to reach a certain riences at Big Al’s was no longer acceptable. We hopped level of moisture and/or flavor to allow you to finish your meal. That being said, our waitress asked us if we were off the interstate as we approached Adel, and decided fans of the spicy side, to which we answered a resounding that today was the day! Big Al’s or Bust! We were done YES. She brought us a special habanero sauce that she waiting for the right time…our time was NOW! As soon as we walked through the door, our noses were filled with suggested we try mixing with the other sauce options at the astounding smells of mouthwatering barbeque…and the table to find our perfect mix. Well, she is a genius…. we knew we were in the right place. We were seated im- just when I thought my meal couldn’t get any better, mediately, and our waitress brought us the menus and our BOOM! Throw in a little habanero perfection, and I was in heaven. A flawless compliment to an already stellar drinks just as quickly. example of pork perfection. The first thing we noticed when we perused the menu, So, to refer back to that original question, “What’s an was that while there were a lot of “standard” barbeque items on it, there were also a number of options unique to Asian guy doing making barbeque?” Well, here’s your answer…..He’s KILLIN’ IT! Big Al’s was an excellent dining Big Al’s. The appetizer section alone offered “Southside experience, great customer service, only topped by the fries”, bbq eggrolls, and brisket Rangoon…umm, yes delectable vittles that were delivered to our table. I truly please! The Southside fries I would dare to compare to a specialized version of poutine, while the eggrolls feature believe that this is indeed “one of the premier BBQ restaurants in the city”. Make Big Al’s the next stop on your list; I Al’s pulled pork and the Rangoon is filled with hickory know you won’t be disappointed. And be sure to tell them smoked/braised beef…Al’s own Asian twist on Southern that Thunder Roads sent ya! barbeque. Considering we wanted to try everything on the menu, we had a hard time passing up an appetizer, but Melanie J Schwarte we had nowhere to sleep off the food coma before headThunder Roads Magazine of Iowa ing home, so we skipped straight to the main course. Melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com
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Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ‘tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ‘tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.” Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.” A little kid sends a letter to Santa that says: “Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas.” Santa writes back, “Dear Timmy send me your mommy.”
A penguin takes his car to the shop an and d th thee mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn’t the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, p, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, “Looks like you blew a seal. al.” “No,” the penguin insists, “it’s just ice ce cream.”
A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” The American frowned. “Russian roulette’s not a very nice game.” The diplomat smiled. “That’s why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you’ll have to play. “I’ll show you how.” He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. “You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex,” he told the American. “That’s great,” the ambassador said, “but it doesn’t seem much like Russian roulette.” “Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal.”
Johnny wanted to get his mom something ethi et hing hi ngg nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, “Hmm, a pet might be a good idea.” He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what hat might be a good idea. “How about a puppy?” “No,” said Johnny. “It may p poop oop oo p around the house.” “A fish?” “No, her house is small, so I don’t think an aquarium will fit.” Johnny then spied a parrot and asked, “How about that parrot?” “Oh,” said the manager, “That’s Chet. He’s very expensive.” “Well,” said Johnny, “It’s my mom let’s take a look.” The manager went to Chet, put a lighter under his left wing, and Chet started to sing “Jingle bells, jingle bells...” Then the manager put a lighter under Chet’s right wig and it started to sing, A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the “Dashing through the snow...” “Wow!” said Johnny, “What trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer was questionelse does he sing?” The manager held the lighter under ing Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m Chet’s crotch at which point Chet sang, “Chestnuts roasting fine,’?” asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you on an open fire.” what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the...” “I didn’t ask for any details”, the lawyer interrupt- A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to ed. “Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?” Clyde said, the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor trip. The son said, “Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the and I was driving down the road....” The lawyer interrupted way, I converted to Christianity.” “Oy vey,” said the father. again and said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact “What have I done?” He decided to go ask his friend Jacob that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway what to do. Jacob said, “Funny you should ask. I too sent my Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I bewe should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do.” lieve he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the ques- So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, “Funny you tion.” By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps say about his favorite cow, Bessie”. Clyde thanked the Judge we should go talk to God and ask him what to do.” The three and proceeded. “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded of them prayed and explained what had happened to their Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, “Funny you should the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the ask, I too sent my son to Israel...” side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condi- removed in some way relating to their occupation. He asks tion, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. the first guy what his job was. “I’m an employee at the shootThen the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, ing range,” he replies. “Then we’ll shoot your dick off !” the looked at me, and said, “How are you feeling?” “Now tell prince says. “I’m a fireman,” the second guy says. “Then we’ll me, what the heck would you say?” burn yours off !” says the prince. The third guy smiles and says, “I’m a lollipop salesman.” 36 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
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Q: What’s the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding? A: One less drunk. Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks’ vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands. I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?” The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations.” The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He’s tall, super-hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can’t help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are mediumsized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other. She begins to think that I named my hard drive “dat ass,” so once a month he is sentimental and sweet, and isn’t afraid to show it. Her my computer asks if I want to “back dat ass up.” heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body? her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly Siri: The second page of a Google search. gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, “How was that?” He nods and says, “Not too damn bad at all. Help yourself to A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his a prize on the second shelf!” father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire went to his mother, asked her the same question and she herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” about her side of the family.” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realdad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what ize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.” short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferstart writing things down so they don’t forget. They went rari.” home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. “You might want to write it down,” she said. The An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it of ice cream.” She then told her husband she wanted a bowl up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write it down,” she told of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.” Then the old lady Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that a cherry on top. “Write it down,” she told her husband and amount.” “Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.” “Granted, but again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream your ex-wife gets two billion dollars.” “I wish for a manwith whipped cream and a cherry on top.” So he goes to sion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in everything.” “Granted, and your ex-wife gets two.” “Now the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.” “Where’s the toast?” A young boy came home from school and told his mother, “I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy.” The mother asked, “What did you do?” The boy replied, “I hit him with my purse!” Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook
From our Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa family to yours, we hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas!
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Hey Santa, where do the naughty girls live? Oh yea baby! The freaking holidays are here and you will participate and embrace the Holly Jolly madness. For the record, the last time I embraced a Holly, it was at a bar just outside of Sioux City, or was it a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha? But back to my point, the season to be thankful and giving is here and even though I have a black, oily, heart, I really do love this time of the year and the Hallmark Channel has nothing to do with it. We don’t need those movies to find out who saved Christmas, we all know that many years ago…Ernest Saved Christmas!
some thoughts, suggestions, ideas…whatever might help. Edited to note, should my spousal unit actually take the time to read this, some of these MIGHT just MIGHT work for me to receive. Cough cough, nudge nudge, wink wink.
I get it, gift giving can be a massive pain in the ass, the stores are jammed, crowds suck, and you lock up on what to get somebody you care about. I don’t do lines well. I don’t do STORES well at times…and crowds? This is why I try to have a game plan on stuff like this, and the few ideas I am about to spew forth are more targeted to the person that is hard to buy for. I am the first to admit, I want for nothing, I really don’t need anything for Christmas, Ha! Three lame ass jokes in and I don’t. I am well past the part of my life that I am acthe first paragraph of my Thunder Roads column, this is cumulating things; I really have more shit that I will ever why I was once named Employee of the Month a long time need. It does stink that I no longer get socks and underwear ago, still waiting for my gift basket and plaque, but the boss for gifts anymore, man it sucks when I am forced to go buy is a very busy man, likely working on our employee Christ- them on my own, who has time for that, needing to go out mas bonuses! of your way to buy that stuff, sucks. This time of year we get plenty of tugs on our heartstrings to help out our fellow brothers and sisters, be it via our churches, the TV and radio, newspaper (I THINK they still print those?) social media pressures, friends, family…the list goes on and on. And they all have something or someone that needs help. As a biker community, you are going to be hard pressed to find a better group that will step up and answer the call, not only during the holidays, but year round. Bikers are there, we are a kick ass community of people that just flat out care and the proof is in our deeds. I don’t have the space to list all the great things we do to give back, but this magazine does a killer job every month on these pages to list all the great events. Fun fact for you to keep in mind, next year when setting up an event you are helping with, give the team here a heads up, we are always looking to help promote rides and events, it’s at our core to continue to bring more of us together.
If you are stuck with somebody like me to buy for, first, I am very sorry and don’t wish that on anyone, so if that is the case I have some ideas and suggestions that might help out. The Harley-Davidson Museum tickets. First off, it’s pretty slick, you can buy tickets online and they have no expiration date, they are good until you use them. If you have a biker in your family then this should be on the bucket list. It’s the most iconic bike company in the world, a true American legend, and only a handful of other companies have EVER had a history like that of the Motor Company. They have bikes that will blow your mind, the history and aura of the collection alone is the most unique you will ever find. All motorcycle fans should make this pilgrimage at some point in their life. It’s on mine, I have talked to several that have, and they all said it was mind blowing.
With that in mind, consider making a trip and buying passes Another big challenge ever year is the lock up mentally to Anamosa to the National Motorcycle Museum. I have when it comes actually participating in the act of gift giving. visited that mecca to motor bikes on several adventures and I mean, the kids are easy, we get a list and we know them it always makes my day. Yes, I said day. This is something well. But what about that uncle that rides that has always that cannot be rushed, you need to spend time reading the been cool, what about that friend that has always had your stories, seeing the displays and videos; it’s incredible and back and you need to step up and just give a token to say shouldn’t be rushed. So buy some passes, stuff that stock“thanks bro” or whatever your situation is, I am here to ing, and remember that the gift of adventure kicks ass. help. No, I am not Father Christmas. I am not a gift giving wizard either, but I will say this (as I mentioned earlier, Anytime you can plan an adventure, taking a couple of despite my black, oily, heart) I do enjoy the holidays and moments to put some effort forward will really make the we all know it’s NOT about “buying shit”. When you give person on the receiving end appreciate it more. something that means something, or has a personal connection, it makes you feel really good. With that in mind, I have Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa on Facebook www.thunderroadsiowa.com 38 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
Chili Dawgs Foods of Fire Pepper Jelly. Food? Yea most people I know eat food and if you have a person on your list that likes to eat, this is a cool, fun Idea. I have been around this company for a long time and they are run by some of the best people that you will ever meet. When you break out a product like this, many times it’s a part of a gathering. Whether a party or just a few people chilling over conversation (which is some of my favorite things to do). Sitting around and bullshitting. We all move way to damn fast, so taking the time to slow down and shoot the breeze is wonderful. Grab jar, make some snacks, and enjoy. Speaking of slowing down, this is going to be a very non politically correct gift suggestion. Not only will it piss of the PC crowd, it’s a throwback to the way we use to be, not that many years ago. A time when folks were always running around with your hair on fire, trying to be connected more than we need to be, many times looking to be at our next event, our next thing the whatever coming up, rather than what is right in front of us. Yes, we are going to touch the third rail and piss off some people perhaps. A bottle of bourbon and a couple of good cigars. Yes, I know, the shit your old man would have been a part of back in the day when Americans still had a pair. We are in the middle of the greatest era in bourbon and whiskey ever. So many wonderful craft distilleries are cranking out incredible products, Cedar Ridge, Iowa Legendary Rye, Templeton, and more just from Iowa alone are award winning and wonderful. Match it up with a few good cigars and that gift shows one important thing. You want to sit down and chill the hell out with the person you gave that too. You see cigars and whiskey cannot be rushed. This isn’t like stopping by with a case of beer. Nothing wrong with that, but with beer you do other things. When you pour of glass of golden distilled perfection and light a good cigar, it forces you to slow down and it demands that you enjoy your time. You cannot rush smoking a cigar, you then slow down and appreciate that glass of whiskey and that slows you down to appreciate the conversation… and as you know, you might just solve the world’s problems. I have heard more stories, learned more about life from my elders, and gained special appreciation for many things while slowing down and enjoying a throwback hour or so to the way things used to be. You cannot escape the holiday season, so why be an ass about it when you can smile, enjoy being with people you care about, and maybe bring some joy into the lives of others. After all, it’s cold as hell and it’s not like we are riding anyway. Merry Christmas Todd “Crash” Davis
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Nov 23 Nov 29 Nov 29 Nov 29 Dec 6 Dec 13 Dec 14 Dec 14 Dec 14
Fashion Show Rt 65 HD Indianola Black Friday at Metro HD Cedar Rapids Black Friday Big Barn HD Des Moines Black Friday at Rt 65 HD Indianola Ladies Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction Men’s Night Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Pacific Junction Holiday Open House Big Barn HD Des Moines Holiday Open House Rt 65 HD Indianola Custom Engine Build on the Showroom Floor LHHD Pacific Junction
2020 Jan 11 Jan 24-26 Feb 1-2 Feb 8-9
Winter Sucks Party Metro HD Cedar Rapids Rod and Custom Show Rock Island, IL 2020 Colorado Motorcycle Expo Denver Capitol City Custom Cycle Show & Swap Horizon Center (formerly 7 flags) Clive Feb 12 ABATE of Iowa Lobby Day Des Moines Feb 14-16 34th Annual Lincoln Bike Show Lincoln, NE Feb 21-23 World of Wheels Kansas City Feb 22-23 51st Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Feb 28-29 Omaha Chapter AMCA National Swap Meet Fremont NE Mar 1 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids Mar 6-8 Cyclerama at World of Wheels Chicago Mar 6-15 Bike Week Daytona Beach, FL Mar 7 Bikes at the Brewery La Crosse’, WI Mar 13-15 World of Wheels Omaha Mar 15 Wade’s High Performance Swap Meet & Trade Show Des Moines Mar 21 25th Annual Pancake Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids Mar 28 Raccoon Valley Powersports Garage/Mancave Tour Jefferson Mar 28-29 33rd Annual Donnie Smith Bike Show St Paul, MN Apr 4-5 34th Annual North Iowa Expo Mason City Apr 5 Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL Apr 18 7th Annual Easter Egg Hunt Metro HD Cedar Rapids May 1-2 Vintage Torque Fest Dubuque May 2 9th Annual Sleeping Angels Fun Run Boone May 9 PGI Riders Blessing of the Bikes Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids
40 - TRMI DECEMBER 2019
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Joyce’s Joyride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Ride for Darcy ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Midwest Victory Rally The Vic Shop De Soto 12th Annual Bell Tower Festival Poker Run & Cycle Show Jefferson Steve Martin Ride for a Cure ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 6th Annual Children’s Hospital Fun Run Council Bluffs Sugar Run (Diabetes) ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Legion Riders Post 111 Annual Veterans Assistance Ride Newton Chains Interrupted Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids ABATE of Iowa Freedom Rally Algona PGI Support Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 13th Annual Freeman Ride Avoca Chloe Ann Memorial Ride Elk Horn St Jude Children’s Hospital ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Union Trades Solidarity Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Largest Female Ride Ever (World Record Attempt) Harley-Davidson of Carroll CVMA 39-2 Patriot Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 80th Annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally South Dakota LT Ride for Babies Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Rumble to Recovery (620 Fund Ride) Metro HD Cedar Rapids Kyle’s Mile 7 Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids 5th Annual Hell On Wheels Chopper Show Franklin Cruising for a Cure Metro HD Cedar Rapids MS Moments Heid Ride Metro HD Cedar Rapids Metro Motor Madness 620 Foundation Motorcycle Drawing Metro HD Cedar Rapids 9th Annual Warrior Ride Preston 620 Foundation Check Presentation to Children’s Hospital Metro HD Cedar Rapids Veteran’s Day Breakfast Metro HD Cedar Rapids Santa at Metro Metro HD Cedar Rapids
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