It is hard to believe that we are already on the back end of the riding season. Soon school will start, next month the major rallies will all be over in our great state, after that the crops will start to come out, the leaves will turn, the days will get short and then fall will smack us in the face. With any luck, we will have a delayed fall and winter seasons like our summer was delayed. It seemed to take so long for riding season to get here this year, and still with rain and devastating flooding that has gone on this year, we are hoping for a good August to help people get back up on their feet and to get some time to ride and enjoy the season before it is gone. Don’t forget that August is still one hell of a hot one sometimes, and that we need to take care of our rides and ourselves to make it home safely to ride another day. Enjoy the month of August and all that it has to offer the biker world of Iowa and the surrounding states. Ride safe, ride often, ride with a smile on your face as you enjoy the rest of summer. While you are getting out and about, don’t forget to stop in at the Tall Corn Run August Check In sites. These are spelled out on these very pages. It is your last chance for the year to Check In to win prizes from each of these sponsoring locations. On top of chances to win monthly prizes, Carroll Harley-Davidson, JLM Shooters Supply, and J&P Cycles have all pitched in for the grand prizes at the end. All of the Check Ins for the year will be put in a bucket and three numbers will be drawn for the grand prizes. We will call or email the winners and post the numbers in the October issue of the magazine. Get out there and Check In for some more chances to win.
As the riding season is looking at being closer to the end than the beginning, we start our normal pare down of pages in the magazine. With fewer event ads and such, the page count becomes less as we move toward fall and winter. It is usual, it is normal, and it offers a bit of a break for the hard working staff that help put this thing together every month. We would like to say thank you to the staff for being out and about everywhere they can get and we know that we could not do this without them. Thanks tons and we hope that the riders of Iowa appreciate the work these fine folks do month in and month out to put these pages in front of you. If you see one of our staff somewhere, give them a wave or a handshake and let them know who you are. You never know, may end up with some more lifelong biker friends! We would also like to thank all of our sponsors in the magazine. We could not do this without their support and it is greatly appreciated. Show them your support by darkening their doors and make sure to tell them that Thunder Roads sent ya. Be safe everyone. Vernon Quote of the Month: “Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat, we say we have had our day.” John Donne
On the Cover Emilee, Karly, and Mikayla are here in front of the Midway Tavern promoting the 20th Annual Soldier Valley Fundraiser. The red Softail is the raffle bike for this year, and the lucky winner of that and the 2nd place aluminum trailer will be drawn on Sunday September 2nd at 7:30 PM. Also flanking the raffle bike are Clint’s and Steve’s (RIP) 2003 motorcycles. Join the fun at Soldier Labor Day weekend for a scenic ride through the Loess Hills, Free Camping, Live Music, Helicopter Rides, Free Monday morning breakfast, and to be part of a 20 year tradition! Live music includes headliner Saturday September 1st, The Midnight Devils, with Sunday the 2nd starting off at 3 PM with Circle of Fifths followed by AC/DC Tribute Band Rolling Thunder on stage at 9 PM. More info can be found at midwaytavernsoldier.com 4 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older I’ve been forced to make changes to my riding style in order to stay not just comfortable, but functioning. I’m now partial to a seat that is not stock and need to be able to stretch my legs out so my knees don’t get stiff. I like gaiters for when it’s cold and a cool bandana for when it’s hot. Shoot, I’ve even bought spray-on sunscreen so I don’t end up with grease all over my hands after yet another sunscreen application when we’re riding on these hot, sunny days. I’m pretty sure that at this point no one will mistake me for a tough biker. So you can imagine my dismay when a new issue reared its ugly head recently – swelling knuckles. A lot of days I couldn’t bend my fingers enough to pick up anything smaller than a pen or pencil and after a day of riding, my hands were quite stiff. A friend mentioned that when she cut dairy out of her diet her joints quit swelling, so I decided to do some research and a little experimenting with my food intake to see if I could alleviate my problem that way. After about six months, I determined that my issues were caused by grains and cut them almost completely out of my diet. Abracadabra! As of late spring, no more swollen knuckles while riding! However, almost immediately I developed a new, mysterious malady. I began getting cranky and shaky at odd times and had no idea why. A few weekends into summer, Mark and I were on a charity ride when the weird feelings hit again. At the 3rd stop he watched me carefully for a few minutes before taking my elbow and steering me into a little grocery store with a deli. “Three of those big chicken tenders, please,” he told the deli clerk. “Eat these, ” he said, handing me the chicken. I ate the chicken and it was another abracadabra moment. I felt normal again! Apparently, when I cut the grains out of my diet, my body needed a lot more meat, but I didn’t know that’s what the shaky feeling was telling me so I was doing all the wrong things in my efforts to feel better. I had tried eating eggs, nuts and seeds, which had always satisfied me before, but none of these had worked. It had never occurred to me that I needed more meat. Chicken. Beef. Meat! Mark, on the other hand, has always had to eat like that, so he recognized my symptoms right away and knew what I needed. (I really hate it when he’s right. He just grins at me until I finally tell him that he was right – again!) After we hopped back on our bikes for the next leg of the ride I contemplated how the odd shift in my metabolism had left me so ignorant about my own needs and how it took someone looking on from the outside not just to identify the need, but to provide the solution. Most of us are in a similar place spiritually speaking. We know 6 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
something is off, but since we don’t know exactly what the problem is, we’re throwing the wrong things at it in an effort to feel better. We try fixing ourselves with hobbies, alcohol, sex, career success, reputation, family, maybe even just like my seeds did my body’s protein, these work to fix problem.
new toys, religion – and eggs, nuts and not work to fix need for animal things do not our spiritual
If, like me, you know something is wrong but have not been able to diagnose and treat yourself, allow me to play the part of Mark and suggest that I know what you need. The solution to every human’s spiritual need is that we must come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ in order to have spiritual life. 1 John 4:9 & 10 tell us this: “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” Go to the Lord for help. He will not turn you away and you will find the forgiveness, peace and strength you need. I’ll be standing around, grinning, hoping to hear from you that you realized I was right! Blessings – Karla Mark and Karla Cornick are Iowa Area Reps with the Christian Motorcyclists Association. Find out more about CMA and God’s plan for you at www.cmausa.org
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The Biker Friendly Business D and G Auto Group 111 N Division Street Directory is a list of establishments Stuart, Iowa 50250 throughout Iowa that sponsor the 515-462-5905 magazine. You can pick up your www.rustfreeride.com copy here every month. Let them know that you saw them in TRMI. Edwards Motorsports and RV’s If your business would like to 1010 34th Avenue advertise in Thunder Roads Iowa Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 Biker Friendly Business Listing and 712-366-8400 become a part of the network, fullthrottleia.com or edwardsrvs.com please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com Fenders Cycle and Motorsport 1500 E Army Post Road Des Moines, Iowa 50315 Biker Accessories 515-256-9062 www.fenderscycle.com CoolBikerStuff.com Indian Motorcycle of Mason City 1606 P Avenue Mason City Powersports Milford, Iowa 51351 12499 265th Street Mason City 214-914-4555 Text or Call 641-423-3181 Follow us on Facebook!! Masoncitypowersportsinc.com Crispy’s Biker Apparel Loess Hills Harley-Davidson Cedar Rapids, Iowa 57408 190th Street Find Us On Facebook Pacific Junction IA 51561 319-241-0916 712-622-4000 loesshillshd.com HMC Industries, Inc. 702 S. 3rd Ave. MCA Marshalltown, IA 50158 Midwest Cycle Authority Toll Free: 844-957-1502 2544 Hubbell Ave DSM hmcindustries.com 515-266-2100 On Facebook Leather & Hawgs 316 Main, Hornick, Iowa Metro Harley-Davidson 121 1st St, Soldier, Iowa 2415 Westdale Drive SW leather@wiatel.net Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52404 www.leatherandhawgs.com 319-362-9496 www.metro-motorsports.com
Churches
Least of Saints Ministry 1305 E 10th Street S Newton, Iowa 641-521-0156 Leastofsaintsministry.com Rebels In His Hands 600 16th Avenue Council Bluffs, Iowa Mark and Lora Schiller Pastors 712-329-9901
Dealers
Nishna Valley Cycle HONDA – YAMAHA – KTM Atlantic, Iowa 50022 1-888-577-6406 www.nishnavalleycycle.com Route 65 Harley-Davidson 1300 S Jefferson Way Indianola, Iowa 50125 515.962.2160 www.route65hd.net Route69Customs.com 2814 SE 14th St, DSM 515-288-9600 Custom American V-twins Follow us on Facebook
Baxter Cycle 311 4th Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2351 www.baxtercycle.com
Storm Lake Honda 3040 Expansion Blvd Storm Lake, Iowa 50588 StormLakeHonda.com 712-732-2460
Big Barn Harley-Davidson 81 NW 49th Place Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-265-4444 www.bigbarnhd.net
Struthers Bros Kaw-Suz-Tri 5191 NW 2nd Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50313 515-282-3634 www.struthersbros.com
Carroll Cycle Center 1327 Plaza Dr Carroll, Iowa 712-792-1610 www.carrollcycle.com
Uptown Motors Sales, Inc 310 Cleveland St Muscatine, IA 52761 563-263-2944 www.uptownmotorsales.com
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Zylstra Harley-Davidson 1930 E 13th Street Ames, Iowa 50010 515-232-6223 zylstrahd.com
Baxa’s Sutliff Store & Tavern 5546 130th Street NE Lisbon 319-624-2204 Cold Beer, Delicious Food, Good Music & Great Times!
Entertainment
Calvin Rockett Bar & Grill 2013 South Center Street Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-328-1033 Open 7 Days a Week 11 – Close
Book Em Dano’s 33 S Main Street Denison, Iowa 51442 712-263-9818Mon-Sat 4-2 Dancers Nightly 5-1:30 Celebrations DJ & Karaoke Services Newton, IA 641-521-8036 Any Occasion /Rally or Event EmCee Facebook/Ray Johansen(Celebrations) Specializing in Weddings & Receptions National Motorcycle Museum 102 Chamber Drive Anamosa, Iowa 52205 319-462-3925 Nationalmcmuseum.org Okoboji Classic Cars Museum and Restoration Shop 810 Jeppeson Road West Okoboji, Iowa 51351 712-332-8029
Food and Drink (Popular Poker & Fun Run Locations) Ambro’s Roadhouse 917 Guthrie St De Soto, Iowa 50069 515-468-2236 Great Food! Ambro’s Roadhouse on Facebook American Legion Post 46 1301 S 6th Street Marshalltown, Iowa50158 641-752-3612 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week American Legion Post 111 1101 W 4th Street S Newton 641-792-3353 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Newtonamericanlegion111.org Amigo’s 280 North 1st Street Fort Dodge, Iowa 50501 515-576-0142 Amigosfortdodge.com Barn Burner Bar & Grill Brayton, Iowa Steaks, Seafood, Burgers 712-549-2276 Open 5:00 PM Wed, Th, Fri, Sat Barney’s 203 S Mill Street Wadena, Iowa 52169 563-774-2525 Barney’s Wadena on Facebook
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Catfish Charlie’s On the Mississippi River 1630 E. 16th Street Dubuque, IA 52001 (563)582-8600 www.CatfishCharliesDubuque.com Chrome Horse Saloon Newbo 1201 3rd St SE 319-200-4440 Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52401 Check Us Out on Facebook Live Music Friday & Sat Desperados 105 E 5th Street Atlantic 712-243-7087 Home of Cold Beer, Good Times, Pizza & Wings Firehouse Bar 1211 5th Street Downtown Sioux City, IA 712-224-1020 Open Daily at 12:00 Flat Tire Lounge 304 S Madison Madrid 515-795-4174 Outdoor Patios – Happy Hour 3-9 Flat Tire Lounge on Facebook Fore Seasons Golf Bar 6232 HWY S-74 South Newton, Iowa 50208 641-792-1246 Open to the Public 7 Days a Week Grinnell Eagles Club 616 4th Avenue Grinnell, Iowa 50112 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us on Facebook Grinnell Pub 909 State Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-260-8003 Grinpub@aol.com Goozman’s Westside Bar & Grill 1019 7th St Harlan, Iowa 712-755-2259 Goozman’s Westside on Facebook Happenings Bar 508 W Market Street Steamboat Rock, Iowa www.happeningsbar.com 641-868-2000 Haverhill Social Club 202 1st Street Haverhill, Iowa 50120 641-475-3321 Tues-Sat 10-2, Sun 12-12
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Hog Stop BBQ 2327 S. 24th Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-EAT-BBQS Hog Stop BBQ on Facebook
Mi Casa Family Restaurant 512 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-2258 Enjoy Drinks at the Full Bar!
Rumors Bar & Grill 400 F Ave Cedar Rapids, IA Live Music & Food 319-286-0806
The Buck Snort Neb City 715 1st Corso Nebraska City, NE 68410 402-713-5169 Buck Snort Neb City on Facebook
Iowa Legendary Rye 707 N Main Street Carroll, Iowa 51401 Iowalegendaryrye.com
Midway Tavern 206 1st Street Soldier, Iowa 712-884-2230 www.midwaytavernsoldier.com
Sambetti’s Bar and Grill 1430 2nd Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50314 515-245-9780 Mon-Sat 11a-2a, Sun 11a-7p
The Buck Snort Oakland 310 Dr Van Zee Road Oakland, Iowa 51560 712-355-5315 The Buck Snort Oakland on FB
J.R. Willie’s Gateway to the Beautiful Hill Country Colesburg, IA 563-856-5095 Open Daily Mon-Sun 11AM Home of the Willie Whopper
Montgomery Street Pub 207 East Montgomery Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-2165
Sandbar 103 North Noyes Street Mondamin, Iowa 51557 712-646-2300 Facebook Sandar Mondamin
The Buck Snort Red Oak 322 E Coolbaugh Street Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-357-1701 The Buck Snort Red Oak on Facebook
Just 1 More 515-570-4206 641-757-0159 309 Railway Jamaica, Iowa 50128
Mudders in Minburn Coldest Beer in Dallas County Bar Food-Wings-Pizza-ETC 515-897-9223 Open M-Sun 11AM Facebook Mudders
Scooters on Broadway 475 NE Broadway Des Moines, Iowa 515-288-1053 scootersonbroadway@hotmail.com
The Exchange 171 S Elm Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-343-2609 Lang’s Pizza, Cold Beer, Sports
KC’s Tavern 120 N Main Street Bridgewater, Iowa 50837 Mon-Fri 4:30-Close, Sat-Sun 1-Close Find Us on FB 641-369-2017
North 40 Bar Magnolia, Iowa 402-301-8234 Look Us Up on Facebook Come Have Fun at the GYM!
Sidetracked 206 West Union Street Creston, Iowa 50801 641-782-8534
The Horses Ass 207 N. Main Street Roland, Iowa, 50236 515-388-4443 The Horses Ass on Facebook
Kippy’s Place 364 NW Main Street Elkhart, Iowa 50073 51-37-3104 Open at 11 Daily..find us on FB
Old Timer Tavern 401 S Center Street Marshalltown Mon-Sat 6am-2am, Sun 12pm-2am Outdoor Patio-Live Entertainment 641-753-9854 and Facebook
Sportsman Bar & Grill 103 1st Street Pisgah, Iowa 51564 712-456-2222 FOOD, FUEL, FUN
Knickers Saloon 2186 Central Avenue Dubuque, Iowa 52001 563-557-0887 365 Days a Year Knickers Saloon on Facebook
Papa Joe’s 117 South 6th Street Missouri Valley, Iowa 51555 712-642-9015
Stumpy’s Bar & Grill 423 Main Street Duncombe, Iowa 50532 515-543-4222 Stumpy’s Bar & Grill on Facebook
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Latitude 41 6170 NW Polk City Dr Polk City, Iowa Floating Bar, Bands Find us on Facebook
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Pearl Street Social Club 110 Pearl Street SW Shellsburg, Iowa 52332 319-436-7100 Find Us On Facebook!
Suds –N- Jugs Bar & Grill 807 Iowa Avenue Onawa, Iowa 51040 712-433-4880 Nightly Food Specials
Pines Steakhouse Oinkers Lounge & Grill
Lily Jack Saloon 301 Ash Street Castana, Iowa 51010 712-353-6402 7 Days a Week @ 2;00 Lynn’s On Merle Hay 6014 NW 59th Ct Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-270-9806 Find us on Facebook! Mainstreet Bar 204 E. Main Street Terril, Iowa 51364 507-841-0978 Check Us Out on Facebook
k Main Street 519 S Main Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51501 712-256-3613 Open 7 Days a Week McCanns Tap NE 14th & 54th Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Bike Parking M-F 2:00 Sat & Sun 11:00
Sugar’s Diner & Lounge 2725 E Kanesville Blvd Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-322-3600 Check us out on Facebook
1500 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3606 M-F 11AM-, S-S 4PMPolk City Pub 217 W Broadway Polk City, Iowa 50226 515-984-9388 Open @ 11:00AM / Closed Mon. Red Oak Tap 419 E. Reed Red Oak, Iowa 51566 712-623-4788 Riverside Tavern 450 E Main St Lehigh, Iowa 50557 515-359-9998 Email:riversidetap@gmail.com Roadhouse 105 Washington Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2272 Home of the Marne Burger Ruby’s Pub and Grill 114 NE 2nd Street Stuart NEWLY REMODELED Full Kitchen & Bar Check us out on Facebook
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T.J.’s Pourhouse 100 E. Washington Street Exira, Iowa 50076 712-268-2353 Open M-SAT.@11, SUN.@ NOON The Buck Snort Restaurant & Sports Bar 25 Scott Street Council Bluffs, Iowa 51503 712-328-2825 TheBuckSnortrestaurantandsportsbaronFB The Buck Snort 419 Sharp Street Glenwood, Iowa 51534 712-520-6454 Buck Snort Glenwood on Facebook The Buck Snort 113 4th Street Neola, Iowa 51559 712-485-9090 The Buck Snort on Facebook
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The Lounge 1005 Chatburn Ave Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-755-5050 The Lounge Harlan Iowa on Facebook The Place2B! 116 N. Federal Ave Mason City, IA 50401 M-F 3p-2a S-S 2p-2a Find Us On Facebook The Yankee Clipper 312 SW Maple St Ankeny, Ia 50023 515-964-9484 yankeeclipperbar.com Thirsty’s on 3rd 2202 W 3rd, Davenport 563-424-1143 Follow Us on Facebook Daily Thirst Quenching Deals Tobey Jacks Mineola Steak House Mineola, Iowa 712-526-2078 Open 7 Days a Week Check Us Out on Facebook Vic’s Main Tap 304 Broadway Audubon, Iowa 50025 712-563-2122 Opens Sun-Fri 2:30, Sat 9:30 Whatcha Smokin? BBQ+Brew 403 Iowa Avenue Luther, Iowa 50152 515-257-7490 Everyday 11am-9pm Whitetails Bar & Grill 101 N. Main St. Marble Rock IA,50653 641-397-9900 Mon- Sat 7am breakfast 2am Close www.whitetailsbarandgrill.com
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Wilson’s Tap and Recreation 1008 Story Street Boone, Iowa 50036/ 515-433-1395
Guns and Ammo 2A Firearms Training Training to Protect Your 2nd Amendment Rights 641-439-6660 Craig.2aft@gmail.com JLM Shooters Supply 6931 Douglas Avenue Urbandale, Iowa 50322 jlmgunshop@gmail.com 515-331-1577 McCunn Specialty Firearms 74980 Richland Road Massena, Iowa 50853 www.mccunnsguns.com 712-779-GUNS
Insurance & Financial Farm Bureau Financial Services 208 Faith Ave Underwood, IA 51576 Shane.baker@fbfs.com 712-310-7475 or 402-379-3237 O’Malley Wealth Mgmt. 5623 NW 86th Street Suite 400 Johnston, Iowa 50131 515-490-0930 State Farm Clark Ahrenholtz, Agent NMLS# 1679997 2114 12th Street Harlan, Iowa 712-755-5724 Clark.ahrenholtz.jb69@statefarm.com
Jewelry Bill’s Jewelry Shop 903 Main Street Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-236-1008 Rings Checked FREE!
Legal Hupy and Abraham sc, pc Lawyers for Bikers 800.800.5678 Hupy.com TheBikerLawyers.com Leehey Olson Law, PC Riding & Defending Your Rights for Over 30 Years 877-209-9452 Walker, Billingsley & Bair 208 N. 2nd Ave. West Newton, Iowa 50208 Corey@WalkLaw.com 641-792-3595
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Photo and Art
Creative Concepts Collision 422 Market Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712.755.2231
Ullrich Photography PO Box 1842 Clinton, Iowa 52733 563-243-8715 www.natanic.com
Cycle Clinic 2209 ML King Pkwy Des Moines, Iowa 50314 cycleclinicdm.com 515-288-6954
Services
F & J Racing 701 N 3rd Ave Marshalltown, Iowa 50158 641-752-8651 www.fandjracing.com
A+ Affordable Heat, Air, Refrigeration & Geo Thermal 22274 Old Lincoln Hwy Crescent, Iowa 51526 712-329-9901 All Action Towing Council Bluffs, Iowa 712-325-8235 Discount or FREE Motorcycle Towing BCS Computers 100 Industrial Road Guthrie Center, Iowa 50115 641-747-3344 www.brubakercomputer.com CJ Now Plumbing Sewer & Water Specialists 309-786-2002 Serving the Quad Cities Area On Call 24-7 Jason Roberts, LLC Haul It, Dig It, Doze It Code931993@yahoo.com 641-740-1411
Indian Phil’s 2135 S. Ankeny Blvd Ankeny, Iowa 50023 indianphill@yahoo.com 515-795-6158
Bent Wrench Cycles 911 7th Street Harlan, Iowa 51537 712-235-2453 Bent Wrench Cycles on Facebook Bigfuuts Paint & Repair Baxter, IA 515-577-6730 Custom Paint & Fabrication After Hours Service & Parts Stereos-Electrical-Repairs
Tattoos Lucky Gal Tattoo & Piercing 515-257-7940 3 Locations Des Moines * Ankeny www.luckygaltattoo.com
Tires Sandbothe Firestone 1106 Main Street Griswold, Iowa 51535 712-778-2223 Sandbothe Firestone on Facebook
Motorcycle Medic 3176 Highway 30 Woodbine, Iowa 51579 712-647-2818 Open Tues-Sat Noon-6PM
Trailers
Nelson Machine & Forge General Machining, Ornamental Iron, Weld/Fab 70 Washington Street Marne, Iowa 51552 712-781-2220 Pike Run Services 320 Main Nichols, Iowa 52766 Shop 319-723-4244 Cell 319-330-4541 Road Rage BikeWorks 401 High Street Avoca, Iowa 51521 712-307-6111 Road Rage BikeWorks on Facebook
4 Seasons Trailer & Equipment 187 Highway 6 Grinnell, Iowa 50112 641-990-8732 www.4seasonsgrinnell.com Lacaeyse Trailer Sales 4192 HWY 146 Grinnell Trailers & Truck Accessories 641-990-2674 www.lacaeysetrailers.com
To buy ad space for your business or service in our directory, give us call at 712-249-5630 or email vernon@ thunderroadsiowa.com
SS Collision, Cycle Works & Graphics 2902 11th Ave SW Spencer, Iowa 51301 712-262-3959 www.sscollision.com Steffens Cycle Shop LLC 1311 E 7th Street Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-243-3076 Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 9-12 or Call
Butterfield’s M.C. Parts 8025 Blondo Street Omaha, NE 68134 402-391-3768 Chuck’s Cycle Service and Repair S&S and Drag Specialties Dealer 714 East 7th Street Washington, Iowa52353 319-461-5278
Unkl Ruckus’s Smoking Emporium & Skate Shop 5725 Urbandale Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50310 Open Mon-Sat 10-8, Sun 11-6
Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart, Iowa 50073 Stereos, Bars, LED Lights, Air Ride Mon-Fri 9-6, Sat 9-12 515-367-7336
Southwest Iowa Sandblasting Mike Magers 65162 Oxford Rd Atlantic, Iowa 50022 712-249-3995
Shops & Fabricators
SMOKE & VAPE
The Vic Shop DeSoto, Iowa 515-339-4313 Facebook.com/TheVicShop VICTORY ONLY Weeks Manufacturing & Powdercoating 2235 400th Street Walnut, Iowa 51577 402-651-6977 weeksmanufacturing@gmail.com
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Metro Harley-Davidson is a family-owned business that first opened its doors in 1984. While they have one of the best selections of new and used motorcycles in the area and a state of the art service department, including a dyno, they are more than just bikes and riding gear. They are a family in every sense of the word, and then some. The Metro Harley-Davidson family extends love and compassion outside of their business, and into the charitable organization they established…the 620 Foundation.
the day in Springville for registration and brunch before hitting the road, then made a couple of stops for food and drink before the highlight at the hospital. Hundreds of bikers lined up to wave to patients at the hospital, and the kiddos seemed to enjoy the attention as well. Seeing their excitement more than made up for the extreme heat riders endured during the ride. Then it was off to Metro for the family friendly after party with contests, raffles, and of course food trucks and a bake sale. It was definitely a fun day for all.
The 620 Foundation is a nonprofit created by Metro Harley-Davidson Can-Am Suzuki to raise funds for the University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital. The foundation has already raised enough funds for the hospital to completely renovate room 620 at the children’s hospital, and each year the foundation works harder, and raises the bar a little more to elevate their contribution to the hospital.
If you haven’t had a chance to check out the main attraction for this year, it is a 2018 Road Glide, custom built, with amazing custom paint as well. The
This year Vernon and I were able to make it out for the ride, Rumble to Recovery, on Sunday, July 1st. All vehicles were welcome, but it was pretty impressive to watch a couple hundred bikes join together to make a journey out to the University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital. We started
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goal this year is to reach (and maybe even surpass) $125,000. 100% of that money goes directly to the University of Iowa Stead Family Children’s Hospital, so every dime you contribute will help a family, a child who desperately needs it. Tickets are $10 each, 6 for $50, or you can become a 620 member for $600. You can get your tickets in a number of ways: at Metro Harley-Davidson Suzuki Can-Am, online at www.metromotorsports.com or by phone at 319-362-9496. They will be drawing the winning ticket on September 13th and you do not have to be present to win. If you are looking for a worthy cause to contribute to, or maybe you’d just like to add that new Road Glide to your current fleet, this is the place to put your hardearned dollars. The Metro Crew puts their heart and soul into this for the kiddos, and you can see how much it means to each and every one of them when you ask about the 620 Foundation. If we each gave just $10, Metro would have that whole floor in tip top shape before new models hit the showroom floor! Get over to Metro and check out that Road Glide… and tell ‘em Thunder Roads sent ya!
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99 counties to tour on the bike, 99 counties to tour, take one down, drive on around, 1 county to tour on the bike. A few years back a summer riding goal was to ride through each one of the counties of Iowa, and what was found was a wealth of interest and beauty. Each month we will revisit each county as a featured article. We will tell you about new things to see, places to ride, and give you a little spark of curiosity for our state of Iowa.
has an area of 582 square miles, only 1.8 square miles of that is water. The county is intersected by the Boone and Iowa Rivers as well.
We began our trip to Wright county by zipping in on Highway 17, headed north. We buzzed by C70, which is the route to the small burg of Woolstock. Woolstock is home to 168 residents and sits just north of Eagle Creek’s confluence with the Boone River. We continued north along Highway 17 to reach Wright largest city, Eagle Grove. Eagle Grove has a Wright County county’s population of 3,583 people and though Eagle Grove is the largest city in Wright County, it is somewhat Wright County is a county centrally located unique in the fact that it is NOT the county seat. Eagle Grove was platted in 1881 and was named for the in the state, just north eagle nests seen by early settlers in a nearby grove. of the midline. Nearly Eagle Grove is also unique that it is one of the few 13,250 people make non-county-seat towns in Iowa to be the home of the their home county fair. The Wright County District Junior Fair is in Wright county, which held in early July each was formed summer in in 1851 and Greenwood named after Silas Wright, Park and brings former people from New York Governor and across the Joseph Wright region to Eagle Grove. former In addition to Indiana the fair, the Governor. Eagle Grove Wright Aquatic County is known as the Center provides largest egg summer fun producing county in the for residents and visitors nation. The county seat is alike. If roughing it Clarion and is more your style, the Boone River Greenbelt is 278 the county acres (located just four miles south of Eagle Grove and 1/2 mile east of the Troy Rest Area) of river corridor which includes an oak and hickory forest, open grassland, floodplain forest, and prairie land. The Greenbelt provides visitors the opportunity to experience local wildlife, go fishing, canoeing, or hunting. If you are in search of food and drink when in the area, there are many options, like Rails Bar and Grill at 220 Railroad Avenue. Rails Bar and Grill is a sports bar that is perfect for sports enthusiasts, locals, family and business dining, as well as night life lovers. They also have delicious daily lunch specials. Another stop worth making is at Twiins Shoppe at 301 N Commercial Avenue, where you will find American food classics like burgers and fries and a huge variety of ice cream treats.
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We jumped back on Highway 17 and continued north to Goldfield. Goldfield is home to 635 Iowans and has had a local Post Office in operation since 1856. Brassfield was originally considered as a name honoring a pioneer settler, but it was decided that Goldfield sounded like a more suitable option. The city is located along the Boone River and covers a small footprint of only 1.19 square miles. From Goldfield we took Highway 3 east into the county seat of Clarion. Clarion has a population of 2,850 residents and is proud to
be the birthplace of the four-leaf clover emblem used by the 4-H Clubs of America. The emblem was conceived in 1907 by the local school superintendent, O.H. Benson. The city has a total area of 3.26 square miles. Clarion has seen industrial expansion over the years creating and maintaining local jobs. Clarion is home to a new industrial park featuring a new paved access road, sewer and water on site, railroad on site, and is conveniently llocated lo o just 2 b blocks south of Highway 3. The industrial park is home
to the likes of Hagie Manufacturing, Monsanto Company, Team Effort, Sports Graphics, Stronghold, Wright County Egg, Centrum Valley Farms, and North Central Cooperative. Heartland Museum is located on the western edge of Clarion on Highway 3. The museum features include the large agriculture hall with lots of antique farm equipment, balcony level farm toy displays, and displays showing the history of agriculture. The museum is home to Alvina Sellers’ Iowa Hat Lady collection of over 6,000 hats. Alvina was from Clarion and even appeared on the David Letterman Show. Another feature of the museum is recreations of streets and businesses in Clarion from the past. The Wright County Courthouse was built in 1892. The current courthouse is actually the fourth building the county has used for court functions and county administration. Wright County first used a log cabin in 1855, followed by a two-story frame building when the county seat was temporarily moved to Liberty. The county seat moved back to Clarion in 1866 and another courthouse was constructed. That building became a part of the Avondale Hotel after the present courthouse was built in 1892. If you are in the area and want to spend a little time outside, Lake Cornelia is located just North of town and features a natural glacier lake, a walking trail, and camp sites if you plan to stay
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a while. If you need a bite, or to wet your whistle, swing in to Grounded at 118 N Main Street. They cook up delicious burgers, Mexican, and of course have all the cold drinks you can swallow. If you are feeling a little Italian, then Fuel at 223 N Main Street is the perfect choice for awesome coal fired pizza. They also have a great selection of beer, cocktails, and wine.
then C54 west, then another short jaunt back north on R59 to finally reach our next stop in Galt. Galt is easily one of the smallest towns I have been to, with a population of only 32, and a total area of 0.54 square miles. Galt is, however, home to Wright County Egg (formerly DeCoster Egg Farms), one of the top ten egg producers in the United States. The company operates with a flock of more than 15 million chickens. The company also produces pork. The company was founded by Austin “Jack” DeCoster as a teenager, when his father died. The company originally started with only several hundred chickens.
We backtracked south again, then east on C54 to our last stop, Dows. Dows lies in both Franklin and Wright counties and has a population of 538. Dows was platted in 1880 with the building of the railroad through that territory. Dows is named for a railroad contractor. Dows is rich in history, with the Rock Island Depot which was built in 1896. The historical society purchased and restored the depot in 1988 and it now houses an Iowa Welcome Center. There is also the Quasdorf Blacksmith and Wagon Museum that was built in 1899 and restored in 1990. Finally, After Clarion, we took Highway 3 over to Highway the Fillmore Building, a large cornerstone building 69 north and the city of Belmond. Belmond is home on the south side of Main Street that was built in to 2,376 residents on its 2.85 square miles of land. 1894. It has been home Historically, Belmond is to many businesses known for the F5 tornado that over the years, and destroyed the city and killed currently houses the 6 people in October of 1966. Dows Mercantile, an Belmond maintains several antique mall covering well-kept city parks and in three floors. The first recent years the community weekend in August, has built a new fire station, Dows holds the annual city hall, walking trail, and celebration, Dows Corn a new clinic. If you get a Days. The festivities chance to visit the area and include a parade, you are like many Iowans… varied entertainment in always searching for the the park, food vendors, perfect tenderloin, stop by children’s activities, and the Belmond Drive In at 215 a community church River Avenue South. They service. When in Dows have hand-cut, hand breaded be sure to check out tenderloins, as well as staples some local flavor at Down Home Restaurant at 104 such as burgers and fries, crispy onion rings and cheese balls, and even pizza burgers. Don’t forget the E Ellsworth Street for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If drinks are what you’re looking for, then drop in malts and sundaes! Belmond is also home to Jerry’s to Oscar’s Pub at 111 E Ellsworth, where you will Place a little further down River Avenue South. They find great food and of course, cold drinks in a fun also cook up fresh, homemade food like steaks and atmosphere. sandwiches, plus ice cold beer, in a biker friendly environment. If you have a hankerin’ for some Well, the end of the Wright County tour also brings to homemade cheesecake, then The Corner Lounge at close years of 99 Counties installments. It has been a 207 E Main Street is your stop in Belmond. great ride visiting each of Iowa’s charming counties, but as they say, all good things must come to an end. Belmond gave way to a little back tracking south Don’t fret though, as we at TRMI continually look for on 69 and Highway 3 east to Rowan. Rowan has a population of 158 and covers a mere half square mile. new things to do, see, and experience in our great Rowan is home to The Iowa River Players Community state, we have plans for what’s to come. Join us next month and see what engaging adventure will replace Theatre, in the former school gymnasium, and the this TRMI fundamental feature! group presents 3-4 performances per year. Rowan’s main street also features a playground, fire station, Melanie J Schwarte custom wood framing shop, machine and welding melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com business, and a historical museum. Sources available upon request Here is where our trip began to somewhat resemble a Vacation movie montage, as we took R65 south,
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Kathy Reighard Wayland 1998 883 Sportster
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Emilee, Karly, and Mikayla are here in front of the Midway Tavern promoting the 20th Annual Soldier Valley Fundraiser. The red Softail is the raffle bike for this year, and the lucky winner of that and the 2nd place aluminum trailer will be drawn on Sunday September 2nd at 7:30 PM. Also flanking the raffle bike are Clint’s and Steve’s (RIP) 2003 motorcycles. Join the fun at Soldier Labor Day weekend for a scenic ride through the Loess Hills, Free Camping, Live Music, Helicopter Rides, Free Monday morning breakfast, and to be part of a 20 year tradition! Live music includes headliner Saturday September 1st, The Midnight Devils, with Sunday the 2nd starting off at 3 PM with Circle of Fifths followed by AC/DC Tribute Band Rolling Thunder on stage at 9 PM. More info can be found at midwaytavernsoldier.com
Not really sure of the reason, but a few years ago, the spousal unit and I decided that every August, for an extended few days, we were going to disappear on our bike for a road trip. Just the two of us, a target in mind, and boom, we gone. Might have something to do with our wedding anniversary.
One of the first places, for example was “plow in the oak park”, along Highway 71 near Exira. History is divided on how the plow got left, who left it, etc etc, but it’s a plow, that is surrounded by a tree, in a park. Great ride to, nice spot for a picnic and a cigar and boom, adventure!
Wait, I know what you are thinking, a motorcycle trip in August? Has this ever in the history of motorcycles, been done! People taking off for a week on a bike for a ride to a target destination?
JJ, (I listen to her, it’s best to, wife stuff) said she has always wanted to see the Grotto of Redemption in West Bend. As a young kid during a family road trip, she remembered stopping there, but not much else, and always wanted to see it again. The Grotto is legendary and receives visitors from around the world. Some come to seek spiritual peace, some a connection to their faith, others are just amazed by the architecture and the guidance to build it.
Only since 1938. Sturgis is awesome, but our wedding anniversary is the 12th of August, and the brides idea of romance isn’t exactly spending it with 500,000 people. I love it out there, look forward to getting back, but this just works out to be our week to get away and do our own thing, sans crowds, jacked up hotel prices, 10 dollar beer and the continual lure to buy shit we don’t need and figure out how to haul it home on the bike.
Back to our August adventure, we started planning on different places and I love riding in Northeast Iowa. I love the roads, the scenery, how inviting and welcoming the local establishments are to riders, the way the farms look, Old River Road and so much more. Leaving from Southwest Iowa, we can snake our way around the state, making our way to the Grotto, and cross one off the list.
While everybody is riding west, we head east. A few years ago, a buddy and I, sitting around a hotel room with libations after a great ride came up with an idea, find ten of the “must see” things in Iowa and figure out rides to them. A very unofficial list of stuff we came across that is very much a “tourist” destination, or just because it’s there. Being a history fan, every time we planned on going to a said destination, I would find as much history about that particular place that I could, because, well, I am wired a bit different and my curiosity leads me down rather dumb places from time to time. With our smart phones at the ready, beer close at hand and more snacks than we could ever need in a night, my buddy Van Rock, JJ (my wife) and a couple others dressed more resort side than in biker gear (hey it was a hot day, we couldn’t get into our swimming trunks fast enough, bad ass road warriors, for sure, but we also love a nice hotel suite, with a bar and hot tub, roughing it is way overrated), we dove in. Now a few places I had in mind from various adventures over the years, being a long time Iowa resident and articles that I have seen over the years. We had, well, not rules, but rather guidelines that needed to be followed. It had to be in Iowa and a bit cheesy. The Saylorville Dam is pretty cool, but it’s a dam, there are lots and lots of dams.
If you ride in August, you know the deal, it’s always Congo hot, something about the open roads in Iowa and in August that magnifies the heat and the humidity past any measurable scale. Many times, I love it because winter sucks ass and you don’t have to shovel heat, but many times, on a bike, it’s near impossible to be comfortable. My old man use to say, it’s not the heat, it’s the corn sweating that makes Iowa a bitch in the summer, so that particular August, the corn was sweating like…. Well it was sticky dammit. The heat just tears at you in unholy ways. If you have ever ridden to Sturgis, you know that feeling as you crest the West side of the Missouri at Chamberlin, just down the road from Big Al’s Oasis and the plains of Western South Dakota start roasting you, well, that is usually a dry heat and you have free Ice Water ahead in Wall Drug. In Iowa we are lucky to have numerous great small towns, and they all have a Casey’s. Casey’s the the chain store oasis for bikers and I love them. That trip was ungodly hot, as it’s supposed to be I guess for us. Makes packing for a trip like that a bit easier.
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Oh, speaking of packing, not sure how this works for other married dudes, but I have ample storage, the left side bag is mine, the right side is hers, we have these adorable (geh) duffle bags that fit perfectly in them that JJ found. So, the middle truck is “supposed to be ours”. We have a smaller travel cooler in there, maps, sunscreen, clears, other assorted shit that you are not sure why you have it in there but damned to hell if you remove it! Now, that middle trunk is “supposed to be ours” but with each trip I find it’s spillover for what won’t fit in hers, but its best not to fight it and just keep still. That’s not the hill you wanna die on! We are going to be together, alone for days, on bikes, in bars, in a hotel room, keeping calm is a way better move! The Grotto is something that wouldn’t be fair to judge an opinion on of what I thought of the place. For the record, I am fascinated by it, but the reasons I am, might be way different than your reasons, or my brides reasons. It’s truly an incredible body of work, no matter what or where you come down on the religious side of what it stands for. Stunning. And the people that work in and around exemplify the term “Iowa Nice”. Open, caring, helpful and just welcoming to one and all. There were so many great side adventures to the main adventure that August, while at the Grotto as a matter of fact, we met some couples on bikes as well. They were from the middle of Pennsylvania, headed west to Sturgis, as they do every year. They always heard about the Grotto and took some side roads to see the cool attractions along the way. One even remarked, it’s not about just being at Sturgis, it’s about the great things to see on the way and people you meet. They took a different way out each year. They also asked me if Iowa is always this humid! I just told them, it’s just the corn, it’s sweating. Todd “Crash” Davis
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Every month h we lik like to set aside id a page or two to pay homage to fellow riders who have put themselves out there to defend our Nation and our freedoms, and this month is no exception. Now, if you have been to any western Iowa events at all, I am sure you have seen this cat prowling around. I am almost sure that he gets out to more events than we do each riding season. His name is Ed Brink, he lays his head in Arion, and his game is two wheel travel. Now, Ed hasn’t always had the ability to throw responsibility to the wind and tear up pavement, in fact, quite the opposite is true. Ed grew up on a horse farm before joining the military in February of 1968, and found himself in the middle of Vietnam by August of the same year following basic training. Ed started his military career as a 63B20 Wheel Vehicle Mechanic and by the end of Vietnam, he had been awarded a rank of 63C20, receiving his Sargent stripes upon his return to Slater. Throughout his career, Ed also got to see the likes of Hawaii, Guam, Japan, and Australia. He also spent some time in Cambodia on missions operating a 155 Howitzer that served as fire support for Fire Base Washington. Troops would work motor pool all day, and continue working through the night standing guard in a two hour on, one hour off rotation. During the war, Ed wasn’t much of a fan of his M-16, so he took to trading for and/ or buying alternate forms of weaponry. He obtained a 12 gauge pump shotgun with bayonet and a 38 special that he carried in his pocket, among other things. Ed did take a liking to the M-14 Sniper rifles and the 50 cals during his service…but who can fault him for that? Everyone needs a little 50 caliber in their life! Ed saw his share of fighting, even saw his own Captain take a hit to the knee, but that didn’t stop him from spending ten years serving his country, and receiving two honorable discharges. Ed returned state side and finished his time in the southwest, in the Arizona and New Mexico area. By this time, in his own words, “it was just time to go”.
soak k up all ll that h the h riding idi season hhad d to offer. ff With i h ffond d memories of a 1947 Knucklehead that his grandfather had bought for Ed and his brother (for the ridiculous price of $500) when he was barely 16 fresh in his mind, he decided to hop on and go. And since his brother had burned up the Knuck while Ed was overseas, he set out to obtain a new iron horse. Ed’s first bike was a 1971 AMF Sportster, but he has had a few in his stable since then. Ed has had two different 883’s, a 1971 1000 Sportster, and currently chooses to jet around on a 1200 CC Harley-Davidson Seventy Two. The years Ed spent in the military were not kind to him, and numerous spinal injuries keep him from riding the extended distances he would like to. Despite the injuries, Ed shows up at more statewide events than you can shake a stick at. I sometimes wonder if he just takes the TRMI event list and checks them off one by one! If you see Ed out and about….and if you go anywhere this year, I know you will…stop him and shake his hand. He has a lot of stories to tell…just ask him about his pet monkey in Vietnam! From all of us here at TRMI, we thank you for your service, Ed! Melanie J Schwarte melanie@thunderroadsiowa.com If you or someone you know would like to be featured as a military rider, contact us at the above email address!
When Ed found himself back home and cut loose from the military, he had plenty of time to get out on two wheels and 36 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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Bully’s Angle Inn 505 Highway 151 W Walford, Iowa 319-846-2398 and on Facebook Mon–Fri Open at 7:00 AM Sat-Sun Open at 10:00 AM
We were headed toward the Cedar Rapids area one fine late June day, and came across a bend in the road. We were on Highway 151 headed north and coming into Walford, and noticed that the place on the north turning angle in the road had been reworked and stood out and was now very noticeable. We could see it for quite a ways back, and as we got closer, noticed a big batch of motorcycles turning off the highway and pulling in to park. We followed into the parking lot and chatted with some folks and they let us know they were on a memorial ride, and this is THE place in Walford for great service. We thought we would put it to the test, as it was just short of noon when we pulled in.
I went for the tenderloin. As it was a hot June day, we were hungry but did not want to get over full, so we used the option of sandwich only without a side. That sure was a damn good choice, as both of the sandwiches were more than plenty on their own. My tenderloin could have easily used two buns, as it was of the hand pounded out and breaded variety. No skimpy loins here! It was a medium thickness that was a great combination of great Iowa pork loin and crispy breading. The meat was moist and cooked to perfection, not really needing anything other than the bun to enjoy the sandwich. Melanie’s Philly was on a traditional style hoagie, with the normal onion, green pepper, and cheese accompaniments, although it was of the mozzarella variety. The meat as well was a little different than a normal Philly, as it was large strips and chunks of prime rib that were tender, juicy, and full of flavor. A fork was needed to get some of the sandwich filling eaten before even thinking about picking up that bad boy of a sandwich. Good thing we decided against the fries or other sides, as we could not even finish either of our sandwiches. Kelli (SP) was the one of the gals that took care of us that day, and she was a spunky get-it-done type of gal that was friendly, personable, and knew how to make customers feel at home. Her other wait staff were friendly and attentive and definitely took their direction from her on how to treat customers. We were quite impressed with the only slight delay with the large crowd of our food and drink, and there was certainly no lack of quality even in the face of the onslaught of customers at that time. Other things that Bully’s Angle Inn is known for that we did not get to try that day is their own fresh squeezed lemonade (made to order), burgers, sandwiches, homemade pizza, broasted chicken, wraps, and salads. There are enough televisions to catch just about whatever you may want to watch while eating and drinking, and laughing with the staff. I think we have a favorite place in Walford for food and drink! Stop in to check them out when you are in that area.
We parked the bike on the concrete slab poured just for that reason it appears, and went on inside. This place was clean and had a freshly renovated feel with rustic wood and galvanized panel interior. Biker décor was the theme with colors and decorations, and the staff was very friendly and inviting when we came in. We came in right behind the big group on the ride, but were almost instantly welcomed and advised that they would be with us in a couple of minutes due to the large inflow of patrons. We sat right at the bar at a couple of open spots, and got some drinks ordered and they gave us menus when they asked if we were there to eat. Despite the crowd, got food ordered in good time, and it arrived before the crowd left.
Until next time… Ride Safe and Eat Hearty! Sitting in for Big Little, Vernon Schwarte P.S. If you know of someplace to check out in your neck of the woods shoot me an email at craig@ thunderroadsiowa.com
Melanie opted for the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich, and 38 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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with th tthe he Why do women like to have sex wi lights off? They can’t stand to see a man have a good time! What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together. A Redneck truck driver picks up a dirty woman hitch-hiking. Down n tthe he road a bit she says “Pull over jackass, cka kass ss,, ss I need to piss”. He says, “I just go got ot in n top gear, you can piss out the window”. So she sticks her ass out the window pees. Just then, two bikers go past and she sprayss piss all over them. Down the road ad one biker says to the other, “Man n those truckers sure can spit!” then en th thee other one says, “Yeah, but you should a seen the lips on the bastard!”
A little l boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole.” The little li boy runs into the house and comes back back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the the wo worm rm uuntil n it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy boy then th proceeds to slip the dying worm back into intto o the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs runs n into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather gran gr an comes back out and hands the boy boy another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa, “Grr “G you already gave me five dollars.” The The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from Grandma. Gran Gr an
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night, she does just that. get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, and says, “Doc, young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said. her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked all the food next night, the woman goes to the panda’s house. “You owe and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes me money,” she says. “For what?” The woman rolls her off, and ravaged me right there on the table!” The doctor eyes and explains, “I’m a prostitute.” The panda pulls out a says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! dictionary and looks it up: “Prostitute: Has sex for money.” The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages.” The panda says, “I don’t have to pay you. I’m a panda. “Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never going back to Look it up.” She is about to protest when the panda hands that restaurant anyway. her the dictionary. The woman looks up “panda” in the dictionary, and it reads, “Panda: Eats bush and leaves.” Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Because men do all the thinking and women do all the A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at talking. breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she The wheelchair! replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion”. What do you call two fat people talking? A heavy discussion. Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!” What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion? Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye! drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!” A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes dying of AIDS. His son asked Dad why? He answered, so back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes that when I am dead, no one will chase your mum. back and announces, “Your mom liked it!” Finally, the guy interrupts. “Go home, dad, you’re drunk.” A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, Viagra. The mom asks, “Why on Earth do you need that?!” she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised The little boy says, “Isn’t that what you give daddy when her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a his shit doesn’t get hard?” gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.” 42 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didn’t have any arms.
have it?” His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary. The young fellow then asked his grandfather, “Well how about you and grandma now?” His grandfather replied, “Oh, we just have oral sex now.” “What’s oral sex?” the young fellow asked. “Well,” grandpa said, “she goes to bed in her room, and I go to bed in my room. And she yells, ‘Fuck you’, and I holler back, ‘Fuck you too.’ “
Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards. Why don’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty. “Boy: “Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it’s too long.” Girl: “Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won’t get it.” Three old ladies walking down the street, a naked guy walks by and jiggles his goods for them. The first lady upon seeing the obscene gesture had a stroke, the second lady upon seeing the obscene gesture had a stroke, and the third lady couldn’t reach. A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor’s office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, “What’s wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies, “He’s a midget!”
Two hillbillies walk into a bar to wash the dust from their throats and grab a beer. They are standing at the bar drinking their beers and talking about current cattle prices when all of a sudden a woman at a nearby table, who was eating a sandwich, begins to choke. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swaller?” The woman violently shakes her head no. “Kin ya breathe?” the other asks. The women doesn’t answer begins to turn blue. The hillbilly then runs up behind her, lifts up her dress, yanks down her panties and runs his tongue all over her ass in a circular motion until finally the woman becomes shocked and it send her into a violent spasm and the obstruction flies from her mouth. As she begins to breathe, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer. The other hillbilly says to his friend, “Ya know? I’d heard of that there HIND LICK MANEUVER, but, I aint ever seen nobody do it.
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked, “How often should you
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Holidays. Either you love them, or you dread them…but one thing you can be sure of, is that there is ALWAYS another one right around the corner. Or is there? It recently became utterly undeniable that August is the Red Headed Stepchild of the holiday world. Not sure just how August pissed off the calendar gurus enough to be excluded from the world of National holidays, but it did. Maybe it was the characteristic scorching heat, or maybe people were just too wrapped up in summer fun to give a damn about another National holiday…whatever the reason, August has been left out.
Now perusing the all knowing inter webs did stir up some strange things that are designated to now belong
nonsensical bologna and inserting it onto blank calendar pages and taking home a fat paycheck for their efforts. If you happen to be that person…kudos. Rake in the cash while you can, because I have been known to ponder unorthodox things, and I have come up with my own holiday for August. In fact, I think this is significant enough to stretch the limits of your average holiday. It will not span a mere day like some, nor is a week enough to do it justice. This new holiday will span the entire breadth of the month, it will endure the entire 31 days that is August, and it shall be called “Ditch The Grocery Getter”, or “Monkey Butt Mission Month”, or maybe “Twist The Wick Days”. Oh, who cares what its called, call it “National Ride Your Damn Motorcycle Month” if you want to. The point is, August means that colder weather is fast approaching the great state of Iowa, and before you know it, you will be staring at those white flakes and dreaming of your scooter sitting out in the garage. So, get out and ride, make sure that the month of August is more than just a black sheep in your household.
to the month of August. The first thing I laid eyes on was this, “Admit You’re Happy Month”. Well, up yours…I don’t have to admit to anything just because you tell me to. Next was “Family Fun Month”. Also, in the complete b.s. Keep the shiny side up and enjoy your new holiday! category, because I have never seen a smiling family out and about in the dog days of summer. Those family outings Melanie and Vernon usually involve sweating, crying, and complaining on the kids end, while mom and dad are busy scanning the area for a babysitter and a cold beer.
There was also a random list of weekly events, and then a seemingly endless list of “special” August days…I will highlight a few that peaked my interest. August 3rd has been deemed “Grab some Nuts Day”…huh? I could use a little clarification here. Followed on the 5th by “National Underwear Day”, who’s placement seems oddly fitting. The 8th of August brings us to “Sneak Some Zucchini onto your Neighbor’s Porch Day”. No…Just No. The 20th is “World Mosquito Day”, not sure why we want to honor the biggest pest of the summer season? The 31st belongs to “Trail Mix”, and I am ok with that…trail mix isn’t half bad.
There are so many randomly weird “days”, I am convinced that someone is sitting in front of a computer screen thinking up 46 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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There’s an old adage that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That may be true but in certain cases, but it can also be disrespectful when what is being imitated goes beyond the superficial. There was a time many years ago when Harley Davidson sold their products on the basis that they were either fun,, useful, practical, or a less expensive form of transportation. Over the lastt 30 to 40 years, the marketing for The Motor Company changed from utility and recreation to selling an image; the “biker” image. Whether or not this marketing strategy will continue to be viable into the future is a subject to debate at another time. In the present, we need to look into how the “biker” image came to be and why some folks might find it a bit disrespectful to imitate certain aspects of it.
or not conform to the norms of polite society, many of whom (but certainly not all) formed associations that we now know as clubs. The “image” grew mostly from the practical effects of the lifestyle led by these pioneers. Mostly living on the road, clean cloths and haircuts were luxuries and besides, no one wanted to look like the squares anyway. How things chan have changed where today, the squares want to look and act like those they once vilified and, in many re respects, still do, but I digress.
It is important to understand though, that even though these men were rugged individualists, most had certain commonalities they wanted the world to see. For those who had formed or continued older clubs, they wanted the world to know what they were part of and what they were about. Even though they might be a bit dirty or unkempt, they were still part of something The image that is so that was bigger than just pervasive in society today themselves – they had a for those that own and ride brotherhood where they Harley Davidson or similar could depend upon each style motorcycles, is one o other and if nothing else, share that at one point in time was the conditions. Their vestment their zed.” considered “dirty” or “uncivilized.” belo of belonging to this brotherhood d Believe it or not, folks used to dress up f the th most part was their vest, which for to go anywhere in public and did so even on mostly arose from jackets with the sleeves cut motorcycles. However, over the years, this all changed. (or worn) off. For some of you who may not know, this is where the term “cut” came from. We have all heard or know the well-worn story about how returning veterans from WWII began to buy and Over the years, times changed and even the ride motorcycles for the adrenaline and camaraderie staunchest individualists found themselves having they missed from their time in combat or similar to conform but the traditions bought and paid for in stressful situations. We all know or have heard how blood, sweat and treasure, live on as is quite evident this evolved (or devolved depending upon your from the proliferation of the “image.” For those who perspective) into the much publicized (and mostly remained and continue to be in the clubs these men made up) situations such as Hollister, which created formed, fought and sometimes died for, the most the “outlaw” moniker, but even then, polite society important item in their wardrobe is their vest (note (which was in the majority) still considered this type short for vestment) or cut. Everything on these vests of enthusiasm and behavior as abhorrent; certainly not for a member of a club, especially a 1%er club, has something most would want to emulate. a meaning tying back to the hard-earned traditions bought and paid for by those that came before them. Fast forward another 10 years or so and now you have Everything on a 1%er cut is something that the veterans returning from a different war with different member wearing it has earned; nothing is given. societal viewpoints. Add to this a counter-cultural revolution and you have the beginning and making of So, while it may be flattering that you grow a killer the image that so many want to emulate today. Rugged goatee and dress up with wallet chains and biker individuals who wanted to live by their own rules boots, most club members are going to be a bit irritated, and may let you hear about it, if you put things on a vest that represents or even imitates something that they, and especially those that came before them, earned. Harley Davidson may have sold you on that image and good on them, but you can’t buy what someone else has earned and if nothing else, you should respect that. The Unknown Biker
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August in Iowa, a great time of the year to pack up and hit the road. Knowing that I was long overdue for some wind therapy and in desperate need of clearing some crap out of my sick mind; I decided it was time for an impromptu vacation. So, I packed up the old lady, threw my cleanest pair of dirty jeans and my best smelling used tee-shirt into a saddle bag and left town for a putt. As fond as I am of this great state, I needed to get away, so I aimed for my favorite watering hole just across the state line. It had been a few years since my rubber had met the road in this territory but it wasn’t long before I ran into a brother that I call a friend. I’ve always known him as Tiny, for obvious reasons, the most obvious being that he is a very substantially large man and a biker. What else do you call a guy like that? Tiny started telling stories about a mutual acquaintance, we call One Nut Red. By the sounds of things One Nut had recently experienced his second life changing event when it comes to the term “doing life being bars”. The first event earned him his nickname but the second event earned him his freedom. With everyone eager to get in some miles we decided to hunt down or friend Red and welcome him back to society. Tiny volunteered to lead the way. He had traded off his old shovelhead for a new ride with GPS. In my sick mind GPS sounds a lot like CIA, FBI, NRA, DEA, NSA, ATF, KKK you know what I’m saying? One of those 3 letter secret organizations that might just kill ya.
belly laughed and said “it don’t work like that” and that’s how we set out on a 4 state journey to find our old friend, with modern technology leading the way. There was biker bar within walking distance of the motel that we called home for the first night of our journey. We walked in to find an old veteran with long white hair and an even longer white beard. He had a flag made out of safety pins stuck in his hat. I thanked him for his service and told him I liked his flag. He dug out a bag of flag pins and insisted that each of us take one. He refused any money for his work or his hospitality, his only request was that if we took it, we had to wear it! This was his gift to anyone who cared enough about our flag to proudly display his work. Old School, now that’s what I’m talking about. After a few beers, we heard about a big music festival in the uptown district. Knowing that we weren’t looking for any introductions with local law enforcement, I suggested we call a cab and go check it out. Tiny’s old lady poked a few buttons on her smart phone and 3 minutes later we had a prepaid $9 ride named Uber arrive. Uber was driving the smallest car I have ever seen in my life! As 3 of us pour ourselves into the back seat, I was wondering if Mr. Ubers tiny little car was really car enough to hold Tiny and if that smart phone could get us the Jaws of Life in case we needed it to get Tiny out. Then just as Mr. Uber pulled his tiny little car into traffic, Tiny mumbled something about being claustrophobic, opened the door and rolled his Tiny little self right out of Mr. Uber’s tiny little car. Modern Technology didn’t kill Tiny, but the mile long walk to the music festival just about did. The best part of any Journey is the people we met along the way.
Even with all my paranoia and suspicions, he insisted on showing me all the fancy shit his GPS could do. Looked like something designed for a time machine, Until next time. modern technology looks more like witchcraft to me. It had a radio, maps, could locate the nearest gas Shifty LaRue station, eating joint or dealership. After watching him fondle the buttons for a while, I suggested that we type in “One Nut Red” and see where it takes it us. Tiny 50 - TRMI AUGUST 2018
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Jul 27 Jul 27-28 Jul 27-28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 28 Jul 29 Jul 29 Aug 3-12 Aug 4 Aug 4 Aug 4 Aug 5 Aug 9 Aug 9-19 Aug 11 Aug 11 Aug 11 Aug 11 Aug 11 Aug 11 Aug 12 Aug 12 Aug 17-19 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18 Aug 18-19 Aug 19 Aug 25 Aug 25 Aug 25
Bike Night/Fight Night MCA Des Moines CVMA 39-1 Annual Patriot Ride and Rally Freedom Park Algona ABATE Bi-State Motorcycle Rally Music Festival Fulton, IL Brooke Barber Memorial Poker Run Mount Ayr Volga City River Run Volga American Legion Rider Post 46 Paws & Effect Run Marshalltown 8th Annual Solidarity Ride & Poker Run Metro HD Cedar Rapids Williamsburg Firefighters Association Poker Run Williamsburg Grand Opening MCA Des Moines ABU BEKR Cycle Escorts Poker Run Moville River Run Keokuk 4th Annual Honoring our Heroes Iowa Vets Home Marshalltown Tailgate Party Before Godsmack/Shinedown Concert MCA Des Moines Low-Key MC Bikini Bike Wash Des Moines South Dakota biker gathering 39-4 CVMA SPC Jordan M. Byrd Tribute to Our Fallen Memorial Ride Davenport Hartwig Fire Department Poker Run Hartwig Westgate Day Poker Chip Run Westgate B.A.C.A. Kids Day Des Moines Hot August Night Car, Truck, Motorcycle, and Tractor Show Jefferson Iowa State Fair with Big Barn HD Des Moines AtlanticFest Ride In Bike Show Atlantic CVMA 39-2 Annual Patriot Ride Cedar Rapids 4th Annual LT Memorial/Benefit Ride for the Babies Metro HD Cedar Rapids 8th Annual Josh Davis Memorial Poker Run Perry ABATE D15 Too Broke to go to Sturgis Rodeo Donahue ABATE D11 Bike & Car Show Lenox ABATE D15 Fallen Brothers & Sister Run Donahue Klondike Car,Tractor,Truck & Motorcycle Show Manilla 14th Annual BTW Trike In Kellogg BBQ Open House Route 65 HD Indianola Cancer Sucks Car, Truck, and Bike Show Council Bluffs 4th Annual Old Glory Ride VA Iowa City American Legion Riders Post 111 3rd Annual Scholarship Ride Newton 11th Annual Cabbage Head Motorcycle & Car Show Lisbon Fallen Angels of Hunter Syndrome Gabe Creese Memorial Poker Ride Boone Cruizin’ For a Cure 1st Annual Cystic Fibrosis Ride for Evan Metro HD Cedar Rapids ABATE D10 Bikes for Tykes Run Fort Dodge ABATE D17 Rodeo/Ride New Hampton Baxter Cycle Open House and Motorcycle Auction Marne 16th Annual Cruise for the Critters Poker Run Denison 3rd Annual Shayla Bee Black Tie Black Leather Affair Okoboji Classic Cars Kayla Jones Memorial Scholarship Ride Fort Dodge Poker Run in Honor of Officer Mark Burbridge Council Bluffs
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Aug 25 Aug 25 Aug 25 Aug 25 Aug 25
10th Annual Hogs for Dogs Poker Run Logan 6th Annual Baldies Brotherhood Charity Run Sioux City Kyle’s Mile 5 Metro HD Cedar Rapids 2nd Annual Masonry Car, Truck, Bike Show Cedar Rapids 3rd Annual Fairbank American Legion Veteran’s Memorial Ride Fairbank Aug 25 ABTE D23 Rodeo Festina Aug 26 Tractor/Car/Motorcycle Fun Run Westphalia Aug 26 Brooklyn Fire Department Poker Run Brooklyn Aug 28 Cubs Run BBHD to Principle Park Big Barn HD Des Moines Aug 30-Sep2 Redneck Revival Conesville Aug 30-Sep 1 Chief Blackhawk Meet Davenport Sep 1-3 Midway Tavern Soldier Valley Run, BBQ, Street Dance Soldier Sep 7-8 New Hampton Motorcycle Rally New Hampton Sep 8 Fall Hog Roast Zylstra HD Ames Sep 8 Broken Spokes MC Annual Children’s Hospital Ride Thirsty’s on Third Davenport Sep 8 Camp High Hopes Poker Run Fundraiser Sioux City Sep 9 Motorcycle Hill Climb Anamosa Sep 9 Hogs4Dogs USA Ride Ottumwa Sep 9 Cruise N Show Elk Horn Sep 11 Burgers and Bikes Mount Pleasant Sep 13 Iowa Stop on the Motorcycle Cannonball Stage 6 Anamosa Sep 14 Iowa Stop on the Motorcycle Cannonball Stage 7 Spirit Lake Sep 13-15 St Jude Rides - Des Moines to Memphis Sep 14-16 Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Street Drags Conesville Sep 14-16 SLR Keosauqua Sep 15 WTF Fun Run Harlan Sep 15 Open House & Pig Roast The Vic Shop Desoto Sep 15 Chris “Cowboy” Whitmer Benefit Muscatine Sep 15 BACA Biker Bash Lynn’s on Merle Hay Des Moines Sep 22 BBQ Open House Route 65 HD Indianola Sep 22 New Model Open House & Demo Rides HD of Carroll Sep 22 For You We Ride Big Barn H-D Des Moines Sep 23 Concours de Cornfield Two Rivers VMC Earlham Oct 6 Iron Invasion Woodstock, IL Oct 7 Toy Run HD of Carroll Oct 13 Waypoint’s 6th Annual Benefit Motorcycle Ride Cedar Rapids Oct 20 Rumble In The Sand Outlaw Street Drags Conesville Oct 21 ABATE D3 Toy Run Atlantic Nov 9-11 ABATE of Iowa Steam Marshalltown Nov 17 Fashion Show Route 65 HD Indianola Dec 16 ABATE D3 Christmas Party Brayton 2019 Feb 3 Feb 23-24 Mar 3 Mar 15-17 Mar 23-24 Apr 6-7 May 4 Aug 17
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Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Rock Island, IL 50th Rod & Custom Bike/Car Show Monticello Parts Girl Promotions Swap Meet Cedar Rapids Midwest Motorcycle Show at World of Wheels Omaha 32nd Annual Donnie Smith Bike Show St Paul, MN 33rd Annual North Iowa Expo Mason City Sleeping Angels Foundation Bike Drawing Boone IAFF Local 4906-MDA 3rd Annual Poker Run Loess Hills HD Pacific Junction
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Tuesday Desperado’s Bar and Grill Wheatland Marshalltown Legion Car & Bike Cruise (Last Tue Apr-Sep) Chrome Horse Cedar Rapids (2nd Tuesday)
Wednesday The Buck Snort Neola Cadillac Jack’s Baxter 2nd Ave Bike Night Des Moines (2nd Wed May-Sep) OP Clear Lake Ride’s Bar & Grill Ft Dodge The Pour House Davenport Amigos Fort Dodge Pete & Shorty’s Clarksville Latitude 41 Polk City Dinner Rides Zylstra Harley-Davidson Ames
Thursday Roar Into Harlan (3rd Thursdays) Stumpy’s Bar & Grill Duncombe The Buck Snort Oakland Firehouse Bar Sioux City Metro HD Cedar Rapids (2nd Thursday May-Oct) Des Moines Vintage Bike Night (1st Thursday May-Sep) Edwards Bikes on the Hundred Block Council Bluffs (3rd Thursday ) McCann’s Tap Des Moines (Every Other May-24: Jun7,21,28: Jul-12,26: Aug-9,23: Sep-6,20) R Place Kelley Eddies Tavern Sergeant Bluff (Apr-Nov) Thirsty’s on 3rd Davenport Ride Night with CMA Solid Rock Riders Sioux City (3rd Thursday Apr-Oct) Big Al’s BBQ & Catering Des Moines
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Friday Bike Down to I-Town Indianola (3rd Friday) Grub Run Traveling Bike Night Mean Machine Cycle Parts Elkhart (1st Fri May-Sep) Centerville Bike Nights (4th Friday May-Aug) Thunder Nights Newton (2nd Friday)
Saturday Route 65 BBQ & Open House (Sat after Bike Down to I Town) Happenings Bar Steamboat Rock (3rd Sat May-Sep) Cruise In Motorcycle Ride & Show Ruby’s in Stuart (4th Sat Jun, Jul, Aug) Ambro’s Roadhouse DeSoto (Last Sat Jun-Nov) Monroe Bike Night (2nd Sat May-Sep) Calvin Rockett Bar and Grill Marshalltown (Last Sat Jun,Jul; 3rd Sat Aug)
Sunday Just 1 More Jamaica (Starting in May) Road Rage Fun Run at The Exchange Avoca (4th Sunday May-Sep) This list is what we have found and what has been submitted. Before heading to any event, please check weather and make sure the event is not cancelled. Not responsible for misprints and typos. If you have any other events to list, please email vernon@thunderroadsiowa.com
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