That Beer Thing

It wasn’t long after we were married some 35 years ago now that I had my fi rst experience of my husband’s low pain threshold. John stuck a screwdriver in his hand, felt very shaky and I managed to get him up the very narrow stairs of our cottage onto the bed before he nearly fainted. Pale, clammy and almost not with me were what I remembered about his state at the time.

A few years later, after we’d been out with friends and following the consumption of some rather cloudy real ale, we piled into a Chinese restaurant. The meal arrived and my beloved took just a couple of mouthfuls before suddenly falling off the chair and passing out. He vomited slightly, brightly coloured chicken tikka I seem to remember down a new jumper - a stain that never came out!

In the intervening years we’ve had several more occurrences. One was when John, who was at the time trying contact lenses, prodded and poked his eye for so long that he passed out. We spent a few hours in A&E where staff could fi nd absolutely nothing wrong with him and pronounced him extremely fi t. We’ve ended up in A&E more than once and they’ve never been able to fi nd any specifi c reason for the faint.

I think there have only been about a dozen incidents in the entire 35 years - usually involving John waking in the early hours, 3 am seems a favourite time, with mild stomach discomfort. A visit to the toilet, which he usually fi nds necessary for bowel relief, can result in a faint in the bathroom. Once when I’d remained asleep he fell against the side of the bath and caused quite a lot of superfi cial damage to his face. Imagine telling your work colleagues when they enquired about the injury: “I fell off the toilet!” As the years passed I began to think that perhaps administering a painkiller when the symptoms threaten would be the answer and it does indeed seem to work. We have successfully used this strategy on several occasions. But perhaps the most interesting fact is that by examining each of the incidents I’ve realised that beer is a common factor. So now my husband is under strict instructions not to drink more than a pint or two at the most. He doesn’t like this but neither does he like fainting so most of the time he’s extremely sensible!

Recently he’s been diagnosed with mild angina although there is some query over this diagnosis. He hasn’t told the GP or the consultant yet about the fainting. He says he forgets about it but I cannot help thinking that there may be some connection.

The most recent occurrence of fainting was when John was on a walking holiday with a friend. During the trip they met some Australians and went with them to the local pub. The rounds were bought and the dreaded third pint of beer appeared without my husband having the opportunity to refuse it. He thought it would be rude not to drink it and, as he said later because he hadn’t fainted for so long he’d more or less “forgotten about the beer thing.”

Later one of the Australians, a cardiac medical practitioner as it happened, looked at him and said suddenly “Are you all right? You’ve got a heart condition, I can tell and I think you’re not well.” She was right of course and he was feeling shaky but luckily he was lowered to the fl oor in time to stop a full faint. The incident wasn’t as bad as it could have been but it did confi rm “that beer thing”.