W'SUP Print Edition Autumn 2024

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Western Sydney University and W’SUP acknowledges and respects the Traditional custodians of the Lands, the Darug, Gundungurra, D’harawal, Wiradjuri and Bundjalung Peoples, whose relationships to this land we work and live upon informs our own sense of belonging and accountability. We pay our respects to the elders while upholding the promise of future generations.

W’SUP is Western Sydney University’s multimedia student publication.

W’SUP publishes new stories online and a print magazine twice a year, like the one you are holding in your hot little hands right now.

Get your Work Published If you would like the W’SUP editors to consider your work for publication or have a story idea, please send it to wsup@westernsydney. edu.au or message us via Instagram. The W’SUP team publishes journalistic articles, videos, photographs, audio podcasts and creative writing.

For more information, visit our website www.wsup.news Publishing Team Acting Director of Student Publications: Julia Bell W’SUP Editors: Angela Tran Anya Wikramanayake Garish (Luci) Kugathasan Nataša Aster-Stater Shabnam Siddique

Contents

Acknowledgement of Traditional Owners

wsupnews wsupnews wsupnews

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Open Relationships

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Love is not in the Air

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Consent from Respectful Relationships

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Red Flags

10 Blooming of the Wallflower 11 No Love, however Brief is Wasted 12 Tempting Taboos 14 Picture Us 16 Forging Bonds across Borders 18 Unfolding Love: A Soul Searcher 20 Healthy Romance in Fiction 22 Creating a Culture of Safety around Sexual Harm at Western

30 Love Language Quiz 32 Love as Defined by Me 33 Are the 5 Love Languages Pop Psychology?

34 Horoscope

Western Sydney University Supporting Staff: Ellie Winter, Publications & Student Representative Officer Grant Murray, Student Representative Officer Richard Martino, Manager, Student Community Jenny Page, Administrative Officer Published by

Student Publication Committee (members) Student Community Locked Bag 1797 Penrith NSW 2751 © Western Sydney University

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Letter from SRC

28 The Red String of Fate

Printing: Arrow Print, Penrith

wsupnews

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26 Is it better to Speak or to Die?

Cover Image by Shabnam Siddique Image Credits: RawPixel, Pexels, Canva, Adobe Firefly, FreePik

wsup@westernsydney.edu.au

Meet The Team

25 The Paradox of Love

Design Officer: Nadine Mendis Multimedia Officer: Declan Leathem Social Media Officer: Raynesh Charan Marketing Officer: Sahla Faleel

www.wsup.news

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Listen to Our XO playlist 3

Meet the Team

Letter from SRC Laine Fox

Introduction

Julia

Acting Director My love language is a cool rock

Nataša Editor

My love language is coffee and chats about movies and books

Garish (Luci) Editor

My love language is lots of hugs and words of affirmation

Despite being a full-time working student like many others, not a day passes without me actively listening to the voices of our student body. Alongside my team, we stand united, demanding action and striving to address the needs of students. While we’ve made significant progress, there’s still a long journey ahead.

GETTING TO WORK

Anya Editor

My love language is yapping about anything I love, and a snack

When I was appointed President of the Western SRC on January 1st, it was difficult to anticipate how the year would unfold. As representatives, we often have a clear vision of what we aim to advocate for and how we plan to lead. However, the higher education sector is constantly evolving. I made a commitment when I was elected to advocate for our students and provide guidance to our representatives.

Angela Editor

My love language is giving motivational speeches

Shabnam

Editor

My love language is hugs and empathy

During the 2024 Orientation Week and beyond, the Western SRC administered the Western Students Survey, designed to delve into student safety, welfare, and overall satisfaction. With the survey results, we successfully pushed the university to commit to implementing sexual assault and harassment awareness stickers across campuses and to work towards providing free sanitary products for students.

Ray

Social Media Officer My love language is probably a hug

Nadine

Design Officer My love language is Brown Sugar Milk Tea

Shalu

Marketing Officer

Declan

Multimedia Officer

Since day one, student representatives have diligently advocated for their constituencies.

They’ve spearheaded a range of motions, demanding improvements to university shuttle services, advocating and financing significant student community events like Harmony Day, and actively supporting and standing by queer staff and students at the 2024 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

Additionally, our team has urged state and federal governments to support students and make changes to address crucial issues affecting our student body.

My love language is annotated books

In April, the Western SRC executive met with the Vice-Chancellor and Deputy Vice-Chancellor to discuss various campus matters, notably the formation of an independent student union for Western Sydney University.

We commend both Prof. Barney Glover AO and Prof. Clare Pollock for their unwavering support for student autonomy.

Currently, the Western SRC is in discussions with consultants to kickstart the formal proposal process.

CAMPAIGNS The Western SRC has been actively involved in running and supporting campaigns alongside the National Union of Students and other student organisations. Our International Student Representative has teamed up with the President of the Sydney University Postgraduates Association to advocate for transport concessions for international and part-time domestic students. This campaign is ongoing, and if you’d like to get involved, please reach out to the Western SRC. Notably, the Western SRC and other member organisations have stood up with the National Union of Students, demanding reforms in the higher education sector and an end to student poverty.

We’ve seen victories from the campaign, with the federal Labor Government committing to paid placements for Nursing, Teaching, and Social Work students, as well as reforms to the HECS scheme.

The proposed changes to indexation will apply to the lower of the Consumer Price Index or the Wage Price Index. While these wins mark progress towards real reform, there’s still more work to be done.

The SRC is continuing to campaign on a range of issues from period poverty to the availability of parking on campus. To be a part of these campaigns, please reach out to us at src@westernsydney.edu.au.

My love language is recommending music

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Open Relationships

Love is not in the Air

A Necessary Issue for the LGBT+ Comunity Oliver Junhaoran.LI In today’s society, despite the recognition and respect of gay rights in some countries, the lack of marital legal protection still diminishes the sense of social and family responsibility among same-sex couples.

Particularly as a gay man from China, I find that “open relationships” seem to be more common in our community. This form of relationship allows partners to maintain emotional connections while adopting an open attitude towards sexual relations. Although this model can bring freshness and alleviate the monotony of sexual life in long-term relationships, it also challenges traditional views on love and sexuality.

Personally, I have always believed that love should be exclusive. This exclusivity is not only reflected in emotional loyalty but also extends to the uniqueness of sexual behavior. I firmly believe that sex is not just about satisfying physiological needs; it is an enhancement and deepening of emotional connections. Therefore, I feel a great deal of confusion and challenge when faced with the suggestion of an open relationship by a partner.

I understand that without sufficient legal and societal support, gay couples may feel the instability of their relationships, which might prompt them to explore open relationships as a means of seeking some form of security or novelty. However, I am also concerned whether this relationship model might dilute our commitment and responsibility to love. More profoundly, open relationships attempt to break the boundaries of traditional morals by 6

advocating the freedom of sexual activities, which for me, is not only a challenge to conventional dating norms but also a test of personal values.

Although open relationships may provide a solution for some, I personally prefer to seek a relationship that satisfies me deeply both emotionally and sexually. This kind of relationship is more traditional but also aligns more closely with my expectations of love. Choosing this lifestyle means that I need to invest more effort and time in emotional relations, maintaining and enhancing the connection with my partner.

This requires constant communication, understanding, and mutual growth, which might be challenging, but to me, it is worth it.

Everyone’s understanding of and needs for love are different, and we should respect each choice. However, for me personally, the real challenge is how to find a balance between being true to my values and respecting the choices of others. In this rapidly diversifying society, this balance is particularly crucial. For those who find happiness in open relationships, I offer my respect and best wishes, but for myself, I choose to believe in my understanding of love that I hold deep in my heart.

Jasmine Kaur Love is the feeling of ‘being home.’

Just think about it for a second, okay? picture this- You on your couch, sipping your masala chai made my mum, snuggled in with your dog feeling the warmth of every sip you take.

For me, that’s love.

For me, love is warmth.

For me, love is a feeling of belonging.

It was in the moments when dad would bring mangoes in summers with me having to ask for it.

For me, love is in those unplanned coffee dates and movie nights with my friends.

It’s in those moments when I am sneaking snacks with siblings which is fairly an aftermath of a near death war-like fight with them.

Its in the moments when I dance on the snippets of the old bollywood songs while cleaning my room.

For me, love is also finding solace in being alone, in a foreign land.

Sometimes, it’s also in the ‘me-time’ moments when I wear a sheet mask and simply in the love might not be in the air, but in these magical moments.

For me, love is video calling my mom, from miles apart, showing her my grocery shopping and cribbing her about my day.

For me love is not in the air, but love is in these simple moments

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Consent from Respectful Relationships Kimmie Nguyen

Consent is free from any pressure, Consent isn’t something you can measure, Consent can be for any activity But it has to be given clearly and explicitly

If it sounds like an excuse, it’s actually a no It’s not consent, which can come and go So don’t assume or jump to conclusions Respect consent, to prevent confusion

Respect is needed every time

Red Flags

as decided by you via Instagram

So consent should be something to keep in mind Respecting consent makes healthy companionships Collect consent for respectful relationships

To give consent, we can say With joy and enthusiasm ‘yes you may’ To keep everyone safe and informed of their rights Let’s keep consent education in our sights

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Blooming of the Wallflower Luci Kugathasan Initially resisting to enter the ballroom, I clenched onto my silver elephant necklace and rubbed it for good luck.

My friends were already inside, so I didn’t have them to hide behind to slide in as usual as a quiet mouse like I’ve done when I went to Tamil functions with my parents.

I stood at the door, paralysed in that spot.

My mind started to race as my ears began to burn red-hot.

What if I end up being the laughingstock of the room?

What if I don’t know what to say and stutter again?

Perhaps I should just be quiet and blend inNo. No, You are better than this.

You spend all your time thinking about what other people think about you.

How about tonight you care about what you think about you?

Now strut into that dance floor like how only you would.

I gave myself no time to overthink to make a counteract my angel’s advice, grabbed the door handle and entered the room.

The moment I stepped inside, ABCDEFU (angrier) by Gayle played in my head.

I strutted inside with my polished shiny self-designed Chelsea boots, emitting a loud click with each step they made against the white tiled floor.

I decided in that moment, instead of trying to appease others, I would hold my head up high and follow the whims of my brain and let go of the nonsensical neurotypical rules.

No more being an insipid wallflower. An ill-treated bud not wanting to emit its light.

Instead, it’s time to finally bloom under the well-deserved limelight, into a beautiful blue wildflower.

As a wildflower, I was never meant to grow into my family tree.

But now they’re stuck with me.

I have no intention to wither away.

I choose to stand my ground and set down roots.

I am here to stay.

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Satya Patel I made this piece to commemorate my first love and heartbreak as well as to provide a message to all the fellow lovers out there. Those who love deeply and get their heart broken. Yeah, I see you.

No matter how short you love someone, it is never a waste. For the beginning 2 months of 2024, after the breakup right before 2023 ended, I grieved the relationship the most and sobbed my heart out. Despite my limerence and the unhealthy attachments, I really did love him with everything I had.

And so, I struggled a lot with the thought that I’d wasted 4 months of my love, time and money, all for nothing! But I soon realised that this is false. Even though the love ended, and the grief still surrounds me, I had learnt so much from it all; my lovability, the beauty of a queer trans-for-trans (t4t) romantic relationship, and how no one in a relationship is perfect, even if it appears that way on the surface. I’ve grown to see that relationships are complex in nature, and they aren’t always stars and flowers, but when they are, it’s quite beautiful, isn’t it?

Flowers, symbolic of heartbreak and love alike, including sunflowers (the first and last flowers I ga ve to him), forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts, surround me as I cry while smiling, because I know it’s not over. That love, that I felt so deeply, ca me from me. All my love comes from me, and no one can take that from me. Love provides grief, as well as lessons. It’s never a waste.

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Tempting Taboos Anya Wikramanayake I open my laptop, with an email staring back at me, as if it knows exactly what I feel, a wave of curiosity and a high tide of shame.

“TODAY ONLY: Bellessa air vibe PRO 60% off get yours today.”

How does a chunky, curvy vibrator like that even fit inside anyway? In what position would this even be comfortable, let alone tantalising? Pondering and wondering while scrolling through the hundreds of absurdly named toys on the website. …..Finger pro, aurora soft touch, thrusting rabbit….

So much for discretion. I should have unsubscribed from Bellesa months ago, not that I have any disgust towards using these products, in fact, I wish I had the confidence my friends had to use this. What does that mean anyway? I wish I had the confidence.

Sure, most people I know who fit the ‘confident’ description are couples in strong tight relationships, and some people who lightly interlace themselves in casual relationships. I do not fit the description - a single university student in her twenties, who in my unjust, burdened opinion, thinks I should know myself inside out. Come on, girls also feel horny and sexy, but it all comes to a crashing halt because I wish I had the confidence. And I do, sort of?

Hours of searching up blogs, on Google (incognito mode), how to feel comfortable in my body - why can’t I self-pleasure on my own - how to be perfect at it I do have an answer - a practical way of looking at it - I know the steps, I know the anatomy, but every time I try and I try I get frustrated and I give up, and I go to google again, and it is an endless cycle of searching and reading and trying and crying.

Because no one at home utters a word about pleasure, but somehow, you’re expected to be a pro at mastering your own body, inside and out.

Switch laptop off.

I walk up to the dusty mirror staring at the body that I am stressed about, without viewing it under a magnifying glass, I think I am quite satisfied. Tugging and squeezing the skin at my belly, watching it hug my body after every pull. Making note of how my pants fit around my behind. All in all, I don’t think I look too bad.

At the bottom of my folded underwear pile, I dig up the ‘sexy lingerie’ I bought this year.

Purchasing cloth that barely covers parts of my body, hasn’t really proved to be worth the price, but this time I might deem it worth my money. Prior to this, my research pointed out that black and red seem to be the sexiest colours. Black is always good, I guess, since red is not for me, that’s for people who are bold and eye-catching. And a part of me still wants to stay hidden in this discovery of myself. I try it on, I play Partition by Beyonce.

I feel an ounce of goodness (sexy, but I am scared to say that out loud). Everything seems to fit in place, the light falls onto my melanin tinted skin with its folds and scars and hyperpigmentation all over. I stop tugging and pulling at my body, but hold it gently, in an empowering and strong manner. I feel like a renaissance picture like this. The song is coming to the best bit.

“Le sexe, je veux dire: l’activité physique Le coït. Tu aimes ça?”

And then it all falls apart and I want to hide myself under the duvet sheets on my bed.

Thick and heavy, so that I don’t have to feel like that again.

What happened to my confidence? I lie there embarrassed, ashamed but mostly confused.

Maybe I can change one more thing about myself and this will work. Or is it hopeless?

No matter how many times I see girls on the internet preach of being comfortable in their own skin, I don’t think I can ever get it right. Tweaking and tweaking little features, body hair removal, exfoliating scrubs, body butters. Don’t look so wide eyed, don’t let the focus go to your skinny wrists, maybe I need a new serum for the little marks and spots in little areas.

Maybe this feeling is just inhuman, because I don’t know whether this feeling is impulsive, impure and wrong, or whether the problem is me, Impulsive, impure and wrong.

And I will never be able to change it, no matter how many times I tweak and try.

I may never have the confidence.

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Picture Us Nivanka Fernando

When the pandemic hit, the distance between us seemed unbearable with lengthy lockdowns and the social distancing that was necessary because of my chronic illness. Art stepped in to close the gap when we launched a webcomic together called ‘The Lesbeans’ which was a two-panel punny comic based on our everyday adventures as a queer couple. The number of views and likes didn’t matter because it was a little space somewhere on the internet where we were together loving and living our lives without a pause.

Throughout our relationship, I’ve always loved drawing my partner. There’s something about drawing someone you love that fills the process from sketch to colour with a rosy glow. The amount of detail that you put into it makes it necessary to look closer than ever at your loved one in a way that you normally wouldn’t in everyday life. Do you really know how long their eyelashes are? And what about that mole you never noticed before below their lip?

Now, as a busy international student studying in Australia while my partner is waiting for me back home, the drawings that held us together are more important than ever. Can you picture us together?

Somewhere down the line, I started a tradition of drawing my partner and I together every year to celebrate our anniversary, and it added a whole other dimension to the artistic endeavour. It was interesting to see how we, and my perception of us, changed through the years. It represented a sort of visual diary where every version of us would be immortalised on a digital canvas.

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Forging Bonds across Borders A globetrotter’s semester exchange student’s account of forming human connections in a foreign country Simran Prasad

Let me take you on a heartwarming journey of platonic love, friendship, family and community, all in a foreign non-English speaking country; I welcome you to the warmth of Indonesia.

So how do you communicate with someone who speaks another language? If Google Translate was your answer, how about when you don’t have a device? Non verbal communication will come to save the day. It is a powerful tool that often goes underestimated but multilingual translators can only get you so far because bonds between people require a genuine connection between them. It’s in the facial expressions, gestures and actions that you can build relationships too, not just the talking.

Such was the case when I spent a weekend in Kutowinangun, a beachside village reliant on agriculture as the main source of income.

With all the locals speaking a native dialect, I arrived to comments I couldn’t understand but the smiles and hugs told me I was welcome and safe. Then, upon word getting around (through the gossip trail that spreads like a 16

wildfire in the villages) that I only eat fruit, I was surprised with 2 kilograms of mangosteen picked fresh at one of the locals’ farm. This relieved me of any worries surrounding food availability. From there we began to warm up to each other. I played with the kids, taught English and with whatever common language we could find in Bahasa Indonesia, spoke to them. Within a day, everyone knew me and I was fully welcomed in all the houses on the street. That was taken one step further the morning after I arrived when, upon seeing that not many people in the village chief’s house where I was staying had woken, I went for a walk. A few houses down, I met with some people and without a clue of where they were taking me, I found myself on an epic ride past rice fields and more villages till we reached a beach cabana. There, I was served a fresh coconut, my absolute favourite at the time, and spent over an hour getting to know each other.

Over the next couple of days, they grew on me as I grew on them. I learnt about people’s life stories, accompanied them to work in the preschool and chatted as we strolled across the endless crop fields.

By night, I would be in one of their houses, sleeping in the same bed as someone who I could only half speak to. It must sound weird but it wasn’t because I felt as warm inside through the care they showed me as I would with anyone who spoke full English. It wasn’t what they said to me but the vibrations intricately woven through our energy fields, almost palpable that connected us together. I will never forget Kutowinangun for it has left a mark on me, deep inside my heart, warming me a little every time I recall the memories.

Seeing as I get asked to come back via WhatsApp, they have not forgotten about me either.

That’s also how my now best friend Marshanda (pet name: Caca) made me feel.

After being eyed up and down as the ‘new girl’ on campus, I walked into class expecting the same to occur but was delighted to meet who was soon to become my sister from another mister. What started out as her group’s intrigue of a foreign exchange student became her queue to satisfy their curiosity and from the first introduction I felt a sense of safety with her; I knew she was excited to be on my side as much as I was excited to finally have a friend. It wasn’t long before we arranged lunch together. Still a beginner in Bahasa Indonesia, the national language, I remember struggling to converse with them to the point of frustration but that despite this barrier, we grew a friendship. From spending time with her family in a mountainous village to being let in at 2am to sleep at her student accommodation after clubbing past curfew, to the airport as I headed back for Sydney, I found a sister from another mister in a foreign country.

Marshanda accompanied me on the train to the airport.

New cities in Indonesia presented new landscapes. I doubt that I’ll ever forget my time in Surabaya for Western Sydney University’s Indonesia campus soft launch.

I say that not just because of the planned significant events that took place but also for

the one that I was never expecting; being hit by a motorcycle.

Yes, that’s right I was hit by a motorcycle in an unfamiliar city and was taken to hospital on account of my injuries.

But what does that have to do with relationships? Well you see it was amidst this frightful circumstance without my family that the very concept of family was redefined for me. I was scared, vulnerable, weak and overwhelmed. I wanted my mum but she was 5 000 kilometers away. I don’t know what I would have done if it were not for the resident director of the Australian Consortium for InCountry Studies (ACICIS) executive director, Adrian Budiman. He rushed to be by my side from the moment the crash occurred, to the hotel room where I laid bleeding awaiting First Aid, to the hospital where he sat patiently waiting whilst I was lying in a hospital bed undergoing treatment and testing. I couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing that whilst he could’ve been out enjoying the streets of Surabaya or relaxing in the hotel room, he was instead off-the-clock going above and beyond to treat me like he would a daughter who’d been struck in an accident. hat’s when I realised how relationships grow to form trust, strength and love. And when I saw him there still waiting for me as I was rolled out from the emergency, I wasn’t longing for my family anymore because he became my family when they weren’t there, and that was all the love I needed.

In navigating a foreign country, I learnt that developing close bonds is a multi-faceted process where our relations with one another are not merely shaped by what we say or do for each other but a synthesis of these factors that ultimately transfer a feeling; of warmth and being cared for. So how do you know when you’ve formed a connection with someone? It’s a feeling that you just have to experience to understand.

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Unfolding Love: A Soul Searcher Hannah Gavina In love’s tender embrace, one finds their way, Through whispers of the heart, night turns today.

Not just a fluttering or a spinning whirl, But a deep connection, a precious pearl.

Love’s presence felt in every beat, In moments cherished, in memories sweet.

Not just in excitement or indulgence found, But in the gentle care, love’s soft ground.

It’s true, love’s mystery cannot be explained, A journey embarked, hearts intertwined, sustained.

Not knowing when it arrives, or how it may show, But feeling its warmth, its gentle glow.

In the heart’s quiet whispers, love finds its voice, A melody of connection, a reason to rejoice.

It’s more than just butterflies or a spinning world, It’s a feeling deep within, beautifully unfold.

Love’s journey is one we can’t always foresee, But in its unfolding, we find our destiny.

Love’s essence is elusive, yet undeniably real,

It’s not confined to a time or a place,

In moments of joy, in the ability to heal.

But in the tender moments, we embrace.

Not just in excitement or lavish care, But in the simple gestures, the moments we share.

In moments of hurt, when trust is bruised, Love’s embrace remains, never refused.

For even in betrayal’s bitter sting, Love’s healing touch, to our souls it brings.

Yes, we may doubt, feel unloved and alone, But in God’s embrace, we find our home.

His love knows no bounds, His grace unending, A constant presence, ever-rending.

So let us heed the call, to love without end, To be kind, compassionate, to every friend.

For in love’s reflection, we see divine grace, A gift from above, in every face.

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Healthy Romance in Fiction:

Why the Lovers in The Bone Season Series Shine Nataša Aster-Stater In a 2021 interview, The Bone Season author, Samantha Shannon, speaks about how as a teenager she was attracted to fictional male love interests who were domineering and controlling. She noted how these red flags were once appealing in Young Adult novels, largely due to the male love interests’ muscular bodies and angelic faces; like a diamond ring sparkling from a hand fisted in anger.

Personal Space: Alone time is important for everyone, and Shannon’s Bone Season novels reflect this; it’s evident to readers who are turning the pages that Paige and Arcturus both understand each other’s boundaries and are aware of when to let go and give each other space.

This is particularly clear when Arcturus tells Paige, “That fear – my fear – is not your cage. I will never ask you to mould yourself to it.”

Space to be with Friends: Shannon also challenges the idea that a new romance is often the catalyst for one partner losing a friend or two.

Perhaps most poignant of all, she mentions how those sinister traits were what her younger self had searched for in real-life partners: life was imitating art, and those red flags in fiction books - poison ivies – were being sold to girls as poppies.

A 2010 study by Oxford University, with the aim of finding changes that occur to one’s social circle, because of a fresh romance, showed that both men and women were more likely to lose friendships when starting a new relationship.

Now, at 32 years old, Shannon is five books into her planned seven-novel series, The Bone Season, and the fictional lovers in her story are changing the game, demonstrating how a healthy relationship can be displayed on a page – and remain appealing to readers.

The lovers in The Bone Season illustrate to readers how one can still maintain an active social life, and nurture friendships, while still pursuing a romance.

1. No Power Struggle: When it comes to couples, a partner’s fight for the upper hand can be a sign of Machiavellian behaviour - counsellor Susan Fishman says on Psych Central: “In some sense, every relationship involves a power dynamic, but not necessarily a power struggle.”

Paige Mahoney, the protagonist, meets her immortal love interest, Arcturus, in many different circumstances (often dangerous ones), however, their relationship remains on equal footing throughout.

Mahoney’s status in the fictional world of Scion changes as the series progresses – from being an apprentice to being a captive, caged by oppressors and, finally, becoming ruler and Underqueen - yet, it’s clear to readers that neither she nor Arcturus bring any additional cards to the table when they’re together; there’s no hint of a hidden upper-hand, there’s no call for someone to concede, and there’s no submission by another either.

In the game of poker, Paige and Arcturus are players who have no cards – no hidden agendas – because neither of them is trying to win against the other. They know love is a rare gem, not a calculative game.

2. Space to be Alone: Writer, Kendra Cunov, says on her namesake blog: “Space is the 6th love language”, and this quote is apt, as all throughout the four novels thus far, Shannon has made it a point that – even though they’re in a long-term, serious relationship – neither Paige nor Arcturus ever feel caged in their romance, trapped by their partner.

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Their two dissimilar worlds outside of each other do not diminish because they’ve chosen to tether themselves to one another romantically.

Arcturus and Paige show that the needs of someone else does not outweigh the other elements of one’s life.

3. Room to Leave the Relationship: American writer, Rax King, says on Mel Magazine that having room in the relationship to make your own decisions – even to end a romance, is important: “Pay your partner the respect they’re owed by severing the relationship, full stop. It’s your right to change your mind in the future and ask for that partner back, but it’s equally their right to accept the news of the breakup in the moment and try to move on.”

In the third novel, The Song Rising, Paige breaks up with Arcturus and, immediately – though he doesn’t like the news, and wishes to keep seeing her – he articulates to her that he accepts her decision: “You need not justify your choices”, says Arcturus, when Paige feels guilt and therefore thinks she needs to take back her previous decision to leave him – though, with effort, she doesn’t. She chooses herself, her wants and needs, and gets the break she requires, the freedom to be alone, and to be single at this period of her young adult life.

The lovers in The Bone Season sell readers a dream, an exciting romance built on mutual trust and respect and - though fictional, with Paige and Arcturus living between pages - author Samantha Shannon has set a good example for readers when it comes to relationships and love.

Because if life is going to imitate art, better have it be a healthy romance in fiction.

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Creating a Culture of Safety around Sexual Harm at Western Lauren Graham & Kimmie Nguyen Trigger warning: This report contains content about sexual harm that some readers may find distressing. You can find support services and resources below. When a USbased documentary called The Hunting Ground was released in 2015, highlighting issues around sexual assault on campus – this became a catalyst for conversation in an Australian context that persvists to this day.

Unveiling themes of misogyny, victim blaming, and institutional failure, the documentary paints a vivid picture of the deep-rooted challenges in responding to sexual violence – and Australia’s tertiary system is no stranger to this. A year after the documentary was released, Universities Australia launched the Respect Now Always campaign, aimed at reshaping how universities respond to reports of sexual harm. Fast forward to 2021, Australian Universities conducted a National Student Safety Survey (NSSS), the first data collection of its kind to highlight underreported incidents of sexual harm.

Out of the 43,819 students surveyed, 1 in 20 students reported experiencing sexual assault while at university, and 1 in 6 faced sexual harassment. Despite these numbers, the majority chose not to report – and underreporting is common in this space.

How is Western responding?

In the face of these sobering findings, Western Sydney University (WSU) refuses to be complacent. Respect Now Always isn’t just a campaign – but a commitment to the safety and security of our student community.

Here, there is No Wrong Door for reporting sexual harm. WSU encourages individuals who have experienced sexual harm or those aware of someone who has, to come forward and make a report. And remember: there is no time limit for reporting, and every door is the right one when it comes to addressing sexual harm. Students can report to any University staff member, The Office of People if the report includes a staff member, or anyone you trust and feel safe with.

How can I report sexual offences on campus?

WSU encourages students to report sexual harm via the Sexual Offence Reporting Portal (SORP), a confidential online reporting process for all students and staff, that can be accessed from the WSU website. The University aims to respond to reports as soon as possible (within 1 business day). Reports can also be made to the Complaints Resolution Unit directly. The portal is not for emergency use, and students should contact NSW Police or seek assistance from their nearest hospital or GP in an urgent situation.

The university offers a Student Case Coordinator (SCC) service, which provides individualised assistance to students who have experienced sexual harm. SCCs provide information about the sexual offence reporting process and available options. SCCs are able to assist students with study adjustments and links to any further support required.

To organise a time to speak with an SCC, email: scc@westernsydney.edu.au If you feel you would like to speak to someone for support or information in relation to these issues, the following support services are available: 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732 or 1800RESPECT.org.au) Lifeline (lifeline.org.au or 13 11 14) QLife (1800 184 527 or qlife.org.au) Relationships Australia (1300 364 277 or relationships.org.au) Mensline Australia (1300 789 978 or mensline.org.au) WSU Office of People, which consists of staff members from both the Human Resources Team and Equity, Safety and Wellbeing team (02 9678 7575 or humanresources@westernsydney.edu.au).

CAPTION: Image obtained from NSSS: available at https://www.nsss.edu.au/ 22

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TW: This report contains content about sexual harm that some readers may find distressing. You can find support services and resources below. When a US-based documentary called The Hunting Ground was released in 2015, highlighting issues around sexual assault on campus – this became a catalyst for conversation in an Australian context that persvists to this day.

Unveiling themes of misogyny, victim blaming, and institutional failure, the documentary paints a vivid picture of the deep-rooted challenges in responding to sexual violence – and Australia’s tertiary system is no stranger to this. A year after the documentary was released, Universities Australia launched the Respect Now Always campaign, aimed at reshaping how universities respond to reports of sexual harm. Fast forward to 2021, Australian Universities conducted a National Student Safety Survey (NSSS), the first data collection of its kind to highlight underreported incidents of sexual harm.

Out of the 43,819 students surveyed, 1 in 20 students reported experiencing sexual assault while at university, and 1 in 6 faced sexual harassment. Despite these numbers, the majority chose not to report – and underreporting is common in this space.

The Paradox of Love Shabnam Siddique

On the third summer night of a ruthless December, love bruised you from the inside and hollowed out Your homeless heart.

Everything love did, it did with vengeance. Everything love said, it said with spite. Love took time as it’s crown and held you hostage for its weakness.

Love made you wish grief upon yourself. When the Palms of your pain faced upwards like an ashtray, Love spat in it —again and again.

Love took every weapon it possessed and pierced you With it until loss seeped out of your flesh.

Love drenched you in salt water. Did I say drenched you?

No, it drowned you.

I wish love wasn’t a paradox of perfection and pain, I wish love wasn’t a paradox of tenderness and trauma, I wish love wasn’t a paradox of caresses with cracked glass.

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Is it better to Speak or to Die? Claire Brownlie

The moment when Elio’s mother says these words to her son in Call Me By Your Name replays in my head every time I am faced with uncomfortable feelings. If my anxiety could speak, it would say that I’d rather die. But, alas, I don’t live in a world where I can avoid my feelings forever. I am surrounded by too much love to not reveal my vulnerabilities every once in a while.

In this moment of the film, Elio’s parents are recognising their son’s inner turmoil as he falls for an older man, Oliver, who lodges with their family for the summer. God, what I would do to be a sexually confused teenager living in northern Italy, with a belly full of peaches and a mind full of lust. Instead, I am a sexually confused 22-year-old living in Parramatta and the only thing in my belly is an overpriced iced latte.

Despite the film’s shortfalls (an uncomfortable age gap, and Armie Hammer), it moved me enough to watch it several times. Call Me By Your Name forced me to confront the BIG SCARY SEXUALITY MONSTER that I so deeply feared. I worry constantly that there is a ticking time bomb on my back, urging me to find a label and stick to it. I have watched about every famous queer movie you can think of to try and find answers within myself.

The thing is, I have never felt drawn to a label. Much like Elio, my eye isn’t too bothered by what a person’s gender is, but rather examines a person’s soul before deciding whether it likes them or not. When I try to explain this to people, they often tell me I am bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual. I just don’t feel like I need to confine myself to a label. I eat a vegan diet, but I only tell people I’m vegan because they would get confused if I said I was plant-based.

So, when people insist on knowing my sexuality(which is frustratingly common), I’ve said everything from “I’m not sure” to “I don’t use a label” to “if you really need a label then you can call me queer”. I just find the whole question rather exhausting and, to be honest, I’m not sure why people need to know when the only thing I’ve pulled in the last year is my leg.

That being said, I do understand the need for labels within the LGBTQI+ community.

Many people only feel like their true selves when they settle on their label and can share that label with their community. Coming out is still an important moment in a queer person’s journey, as it often marks the moment when a person has accepted themselves enough to share their whole self with the world.

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I was raised in a very accepting household, where I had met several gay people before I could say mama. My godfather is gay, and my sister’s godfathers are gay. It was never an issue in my mind until I got to my first high school - a catholic girls’ school (ah what a classic trope). So many girls, yet not a single one would admit they were of the sapphic variety. It was within my first couple of years of high school that I started to question my sexuality. I never would tell a soul, but deep down, I had a feeling that I was attracted to women. However, I was already an absolute loser at this school, and the idea of opening up to a bunch of judgemental girls who could make or break my reputation was incomprehensible.

So, down I pushed the feelings. I dared not look inside myself until I left high school, out of fear that I would face the same fate as many of my peers who came out during high school. My worst fear was being seen as different, as going to a girls’ school had affected the way I thought I had to act as a young woman. Looking back, I wish I had been brave enough to start the conversation.

Many of my friends only came out several years after high school, and I never really came out at all. I slowly began telling my close friends that I was open to dating any gender, but it wasn’t a particularly significant moment for me. I am still a hopeless romantic, who is unbelievably single, and too anxious to start dating.

It is undoubtedly better to speak than to die, but when you don’t have the words, don’t force them. Perhaps a label will find me later in life when I have tested the waters and found a place where I feel comfortable.

I can only hope that people find comfort in my confusion, as I know that sexuality is such a prominent conversation amongst young people, and there is pressure to know what you like as soon as you become a young adult. Next time you feel tempted to ask a person what their sexual orientation is, perhaps take a second to think whether it’s beneficial for you to know. I know it’s easy in a place like Australia, where queerness has been widely accepted, to think that these conversations should come easier to people. At the end of the day, most people don’t care to share their sexual desires, and honestly, I think that is more than okay. If you aren’t planning to be in their bed, it’s not your business who they’re sleeping with.

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The Red String of Fate Angela Tran

The “Red String of Fate,” a concept rooted in East Asian mythology, symbolises an invisible thread that connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. My family have passed down this myth that associates romantic to a mystical thread as a way to give us hope for our future romantic lives. As I grew older I found the story to be endearing yet ironic, given the reality of our society. However, to my surprise, many of my peers and friends have found this story to be compelling and interesting. As such, for those who do not know the origin of where this mythological piece derived from, here is an excerpt written by Huza Shamthat describe the origination of how the red string of fate came to be.

Titled “The Red String of Fate”, published on Medium Huza Shamsi is a freelance writer that has a similar rendition of the story that correlated to the one passed down from my family. It goes like this: Once upon a time a young boy walks upon the gravelled road to where his home is - when he stumbles upon an old man.

Standing beneath the moonlight, the old man explains to the boy that a red thread is attached to his pinkie. The boy raises his brow in confusion, and before descending further down the road - the old man says the string will lead to the young boys destined lover. The boy, concerned more with the dinner his mother was preparing than an old man’s whisper, did not care for this revelation. Yet, the old man guided the boy down to the river, surrounded by greenery and stood a behind a large tree. A young girl stood on the bridge that oversaw the river. The boy, annoyed by such a silly notion of ‘destined lover’, picks up a single rock and threw it directly at the girl. Stunned and in pain - she runs away.

Many years later, when the boy finally became a man, his parents organised an arranged marriage to one of the village girls. Upon their wedding night, with his wife waiting in their bedroom with the traditional veil covering her face, the young man lifts the thin fabric and is delighted by the fact he was promised one of the greatest beauties in the village.

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However beautiful his wife was, he noticed she wore an adornment next to her left eyebrow. Curious as to the reasoning behind it, he asks her why she wears such a thing.

She responds by retelling him a story of her younger years, when a little boy her age threw a rock at her head, striking the side of her eyebrow. It left such a deep scar that her self-consciousness forced her to adorn her scar to cover up her mark.

The man, realising he was the cause of her pain began to cry. How could he have hurt his future lover in such a manner, he thought. The man apologised profusely for his foolishness as he admitted to being the one who caused her that scar due to his immaturity. His wife, who was full of understanding, gave him forgiveness. Yet the question remained: was this all just a coincidence? Or could it be destiny?

The Red String of Fate captivates a beautiful belief that a red string connects each person to a fated other, one destined to meet regardless of time, place and or challenges.

According to Mythlok, the theory was a derivation from Chinese legend, with Japanese and Korean influences - the red string cannot be seen by the naked eye. The string may tangle, stretch, twirl and knot, but it can never break.

This unbreakable bond between two people is a testament to the universe to show they are meant to be together. According to Huza Shamsi’s rendition of the red string of fate, the old man is the embodiment of the old Chinese lunar matchmaker god, Yuè Xià Lǎorén, entrusted to ensure each soul is prepared and fated for another to bring forth marriage and happiness.

For us, this theory foretells a force strong enough to navigate itself through the complexities of love, relationships, and personal growth. In a world filled with uncertainty and constant change, the idea of a predetermined connection can offer a sense of reassurance and hope. It suggests that, amidst the chaos of life, there is a comforting certainty that certain people are destined to cross our paths. It emphasises the importance of timing in relationships. It suggests that even if two people are destined to be together, they may not meet until the right moment.

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Love Languages Quiz Raynesh Charan Number 1: During stressful exam seasons, what action from your partner would you find the most comforting?

Number 5: How do you prefer to deal with conflicts and disagreements amongst the people that you love?

A) Talking openly, honestly, and stating how you feel.

A) Hearing “You can do it!” Each time you express your doubts about the exam.

B) Seeking physical reassurance or comfort through hugs or touch.

B) Receiving a comforting hug from them before you enter the exam hall.

C) Working together to find practical solutions or compromises.

C) Them offering to help with tasks or chores so that you’ll have more time to study.

D) Sitting down together and talking about your feelings together.

D) Spending all nighters studying with them the night before the exam

E) Offering apologies or making gestures that show remorse.

E) Receiving a brand new pen as a good omen to help you get through the paper.

Number 2: Which of the following scenarios makes you feel most valued and supported by your friends?

Number 6: You just got that job that you had been dying to get, how would you know that someone you care about is supportive of your accomplishments?

A) When they praise you and let you know that you deserve all the good things you’re getting.

A) Having deep meaningful conversations about things that are currently bothering you.

B) Hugging, jumping and celebrating together.

B) Receiving pats on your back or a congratulatory hug

C) When they reach out to offer you any help with your life changes.

C) Knowing that your friends are always there - to give a helping hand and lending an ear

D) When they accompany you on your first day and offer to drop you off.

D) Spending the entire day doing something that you enjoy/care about or simply enjoying each

E) When they surprise you with cake to celebrate you.

other’s company.

E) When you friend buy’s you a book that you’ve been eyeing for a while now Number 3: What’s makes you feel that an animal that you’ve just recently met (a friends pet dog or cat) has started liking you?

Number 7: You and your partner just had a fight, and you are trying to reconcile with them, but unsuccessfully. Which of the following would get on your nerves the most?

A) Them leaving you an apology message to read.

B) Shrugging you away when you’re tying to lean in for a goodnight’s kiss.

A) When they bark or meow excitedly when you say their names.

C) When you cook a reconciliation meal and they leave the dirty dishes on the table.

B) When they start licking you or come up and cuddle next to you.

D) Deciding not to participate on a weekly couple’s activity that you both consistently do.

C) When they ‘protect’ you from the neighbours ‘wild’ animals.

E) When they completely ignore the ‘I’m sorry’ teddy bear that you bought for them.

D) When they chose to hang around with you even though their owner is close by.

E) When they bring over their favourite toys, and want to play with you.

Number 4: Which of the following would make you feel the most loved on valentines day?

A) Receiving a heartfelt letter or card where they state their love and admiration.

B) Giving or recieving a massage.

Results: Mostly A’s = your receiving love language is words of affirmation Mostly B’s = your receiving love language is physical touch Mostly C’s = your receiving love language is acts of service Mostly D’s = your receiving love language is quality time Mostly E’s = your receiving love language is receiving gifts

C) Cooking a special meal together or taking part in a couple’s activity.

D) Planning a romantic getaway or just going on a walk down each other’s favourite park.

E) Receiving a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

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LOVE as defined by me

Symphony Chakma

I think of love, Like my 10-year-old self-did.

It was something like a fairy tale, Magical and wonderful, With birds who sang along with you.

There would be a Prince Charming, And you would have a big wedding, And you would be dressed like a princess, Who would someday be a queen.

17 years I was, Introduced to a glittery world of fame, And flashiness and fortune, Which hid a deep darkness.

I saw a man with piercing eyes, with the sharpest tongue you could think of.

I fell in love once more.

I whispered to myself, “Could it be?

Could it be that my soulmate, Is this man, who doesn’t know I even exist?”

Reality hit my 11-year-old self, When I first decided to confess my feelings, For someone who was special to me.

I loved him steadfastly, I wasn’t the princess in this story.

Pouring my loyalty over him.

I was the ugly stepsister, I made him my muse.

Who would be discarded to the side like trash.

I called him babycakes.

“Did you really think, To him, I was his moonlight.

That he would like someone like you?”

Five years on, Were the taunts I had to face, He is still my babycakes, At the merciless hands of so-called friends.

And I am his moonlight.

At 14 years old, 22 — my age now.

Love was still a mystery.

I am tired and bruised.

It was unachieved and unsaid.

My scars, of which I covered, I’d met my first guy best friend, With makeup and positivity, Who I had loved so much, I wear them on my sleeve now.

Romantically and platonically.

I’m proud I’ve grown into the person I am to be.

He knew, oh he knew, I’m still a hopeless romantic.

He knew of the burdens that I carried, Still hoping that I will find someone mythic.

Those burdens called love for him.

I realise that my prince, or a princess, He knew I would do anything for him.

May still be out there for me.

He decided, one day, He would use and abuse, All I know now is, All of me, It is a time for healing, For I was loyal to the fault.

A time to let go of pain, Love was once again nothing but bruises, Before I let in new love and, all its light.

And scars upon my poor young heart.

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Are the 5 Love Languages Pop Psychology?

Julia Bell

The 5 Love Languages concept was created by Gary Chapman in 1992. Chapman developed the idea through observations during counselling he gave through his church. Despite common assumption, Gary Chapman is not an accredited psychologist but a PhD in adult education, and his work has been criticised for its unreliable results in further experiments.

The theory suggests three things: 1) Five love languages exist; words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. 2) Everyone has only one primary love language that they communicate through, and the languages are as different as “English and Chinese”, as described in the original book. 3) Learning about your partner’s love language is “critical” to a successful relationship.

Researchers from the Association for Psychological Science states in an article from January 2024 “although popular lay theories might have people believe that there is a simple formula for cultivating lasting love, empirical research shows that successful relationships require that partners have a comprehensive understanding of one another’s needs and put in the effort to respond to those needs” Pop psychology often takes complex ideas and simplifies them so that they are more digestible to the public. Another example of this pop psychology is the ‘Turn in Not Away theory by the Gottman Institute which takes observational data as scientific research. The theory explores that a described ‘bid for attention’ could be the saviour or downfall of a marriage. While this is often a noble pursuit, there are a lot of important factors that get lost in translation. It’s important to know where these ideas come from, how reliable they are, and what their true intentions are.

One criticism of Chapman’s counselling is that he has used the theory to push women to be more physically intimate with their husbands despite their own feelings as a requirement of following this love language concept. This is described in an article from January 2024 by the Washington Post with the story of Ann, a woman who felt used in her marriage and found her love language was words of affirmation, while her husband was physical touch. She was told to “stop all verbal complaints” and “surprise him by being aggressive” when initiating sex. This led to more discomfort in her role in her marriage and her relationship ]with herself but did align with Chapman’s views and the views of his counselling.

The popularity of the concept is unavoidable, and while people are more complex than the original theory suggests, the 5 Love Languages has still become a popular communication tool to begin a conversation. The idea that one person has only one primary language and cannot develop a relationship with another that doesn’t communicate the same can be limiting and harmful to pursuing relationships. It does, however, allow people to communicate where they are feeling neglected. Giving people the ability to ask for what they need in a simple and succinct way. This method is best used as one tool of communication when communication may be difficult. While the theory may not be fully accountable, it is helping couples to address emotional issues that otherwise may be ignored.

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HOROSCOPES ARIES

March 21–April 19 Aries always seeks the best, whether in romantic or social relationships. They can get bored quickly and are always seeking adventure.

Don’t feel the need to settle for something that doesn’t excite you. Life is long, and love can be found many times in life, with each new person bringing new passions and experiences.

TAURUS

April 20 - May 20 Taurus is the first earth sign.

A Taurus is often the glue to social groups, being the grounding force in hard times and the first to celebrate in good. Don’t let yourself fall into the role of taking care of everyone else, and don’t get all your happiness from others.

Remember that taking care of yourself is an essential part of wellbeing.

LIBRA

23 September 23 - October le rrounded by peop Libras are often su of s nd ki t others in all can ability enchan rs he ot n be magnetic to situations. They ca is th le tic situations. Whi in social or roman e, iv tion can be addict adoration and devo be nships struggle to long lasting relatio e os th ire m ber to ad built on it. Remem e id pr and take around you as well u surround yo le in the peop yourself with.

SCORPIO

October 24 - November 21 Scorpios are protective of their friendships and partners. Be careful. This protection can turn to jealousy if not tended to. Honest communication in relationships is the strongest way to combat this impulse. Scorpios tend to follow their instincts when pursuing relationships but don’t forget to give people second chances instead of relying on first impressions.

SAGITTARIUS

GEMINI

June 21 May 21 to them, many sides e v a h is in iends or Gem ek many fr se l il w y e erent and th it these diff bring su to s p u ro friend g be afraid to aits. Don’t tr ty even if li a n o pers s together, d rl o w t n f your differe rable to share more o e ln rue it feels vu ere is no ‘t th t a th w o n es to you yourself. K ll these sid a d n a ’, lf f se e and all o are genuin . d e v them are lo

CANCER

June 22 - July 22 Cancer signs are ruled by water and often change with the current.

Focusing on your relationship with yourself will enrich your relationships with others . Try taking yourself out on your own or a ho bby you can do independently and use to ground yourself in your mind. Building and expressing personal boundaries can be a tough challenge, but it is a skill built with pra ctice and time.

November 22 - December 21 A Sagittarius can be reliable for people they barely know. Generous and charitable, there is no cause that they don’t care for. While this nature is admirable, it can often lead to their heart being unprotected. Keep family close, whether, by blood or chosen family. They are your most valuable asset in your well-being.

AQUARIUS

LEO

July 23 - August 22

Leos are bold, passionate and fiercely loyal.

They are drawn into thrilling relation ships even if it leads to a painful end—fulfilling that it is better to have loved and lost than nev er loved at all. Leo and their friends will have the closest bonds of all. Being open and vulnerab le. If you need a friend who will tell you the trut h, then a Leo is the friend you need.

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VIRGO

August 23 - September 22 Virgos may struggle to develop a romantic connection but have intense platonic relationships. In moments of loneliness, it’s important to lean on your friends. Virgos are logical and take joy in acts of service in providing for their friends but can become perfectionists without control.

Remember that it is okay to relinquish this control from time to time.

CAPRICORN

December 22 - January 19 Capricorns crave intimacy in relationships, not physical intimacy but the intimacy of inside jokes, shared laughter, and soft touches.

Because of this, it can be difficult to build new relationships and rely on old friends. Welcome new people into your life even if they don’t provide the depth of friendship you want. This is something that will come with time.

January 20 - February 18 Aquarius is often guarded with their emotions until they first know the other’s feelings.

They are rarely the first to admit a crush or reach out to another person. This can be a roadblock in building relationships.

While they struggle with this vulnerability, they are the life of a party, confident and unafraid to entertain and care for others.

PISCES

February 1

9 - March 20 Pisces are intuitive an d compass in their frie ionate ndships an They are o d relationsh ften the pe ips. acemakers ears to the and tender ir friends a nd family, their own d even to etriment. B e careful n take on oth ot to er’s proble ms as your Compassio o wn. n is a kind ness, not a sponsibilit re y for pe unwilling to ople that are appreciate .

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