THE ROAD FORWARD

“You deserve support, it’s never too late,” says Tony Thorn, peer worker and General Manager of The Road Forward. With offices now in, Wellington CBD, Lower Hutt, Kapiti and Masterton, The Road Forward is currently funded to work with survivors of sexual harm. There’s no cost, no judgement, and no limits on your access to support. Privacy is absolute. “We use the term sexual harm,” says Tony, “to include any experience where a sexual boundary has been crossed, causing us harm.

As survivors ourselves, our job as peer workers is to be present for whatever support is needed.” 2023 statistics from the Ministry of Social Development shows that one in six males are sexually harmed by the age of 16. Research suggests that the prevalence of sexual harm is, alarmingly, even more common for gay and bisexual males. About 50 percent (one in every two) transsexual males are sexually harmed at least twice by the age of 16. “To put that into context, there are about 500 rugby teams in New Zealand. If we assume an average of 12 players per team, that’s about 6,000 men and boys playing rugby. Based on the statistics, about 1,000 of those may have been sexually harmed.” Research tells us it can take up to 20 years for men and 9 years for women to come forward and disclose and seek help after sexual harm. “The concept surrounding masculinity keeps men silent.” It can also take years to reach the top of a waiting list for ACC-funded counselling for sexual harm survivors. Peer workers at The Road Forward know from their own experiences that the sooner a survivor discloses and seeks support, the sooner they can start to lead happier lives.

“Getting support is so important,” says Tony “Survivors keep themselves isolated, living in a ‘fight or fight’ mode, expecting to be hurt again, and struggling to trust anyone especially if they’ve been harmed by a member of their family, whānau, or church – someone they should be able to trust.” “It’s never too late, but the earlier the better. We can walk alongside survivors whether or not they’ve sought counselling, are waiting for counselling, or are already receiving counselling.”

Reach out to The Road Forward. You will be responded to within 24 hours, no matter how you make contact. Support is entirely client-led. You might want to sit with a peer worker and simply have a cup of tea in the knowledge they understand you, or go for a walk together, or cry, or talk either over the phone or in person.

Group and social options are also available to help reduce isolation. Call, text, or email today.