New and Improved

A book of random cartoons by the cool kids of Division 1

Copyright

©

2020 The Writers’ Exchange

This book was created by Division 1, Mr. Frigault’s grade 6/7 class, at Thunderbird šxʷəxʷaʔəs Elementary School in the fall of 2019.

The Writers’ Exchange gets inner-city kids excited about reading, writing and their own potential through mentoring and creative projects like this chapbook.

All Writers’ Exchange programs are free for the children and families we serve, and we could not exist without the support of amazing donors, including BC Social Venture Partners Vancouver, Marily Mearns, Linda Louis, Bernard MacLeod, the Grayross Foundation held at the Vancouver Foundation, Sasamat Foundation, the Blue Planet Links Foundation, Nancy and Ted Maitland, John and Nina Cassils, Premium Brands Holdings Corporation, Jim Fletcher, Lindsay Mearns, Richard and Suzanne Cole, the Wolrige Foundation, the Van Tel/Safeway Credit Union, Legacy Fund, Grant Conroy, Morie Ford, Jamie Evrard, Leslie Lenny, Theresa Shaw, CLICK (Contributing to Lives of Inner City Kids Society), Not Just A Coffee Fund, Tweedledum Foundation, Scott Shaw and Marion Man, Steve Munford, Symcor, Royal Bank of Canada, Little Mountain Holdings Co., Mount Pleasant War Memorial Community Cooperative Association, Andrew Igel, Gordon Ross, Massy Books, Mark Tindle, Diane and Robert Matson and Rain or Shine Ice Cream.

207-877 East Hastings Vancouver, BC V6A 1R8 vancouverWE.com We are honoured to be able to provide safe, fun and welcoming programs for kids and their families on the unceded and traditional territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish) and sel̓íl̓witulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.

As uninvited guests on this land we are grateful to be able to enjoy this beautiful place and we are committed to building relationships and learning about ongoing traditional ways of life from our Indigenous friends.

Writers’ Exchange mentors: Allison, Chelsea, Irene, Jo, Kezia, Mary Jo, Natalie and Vicky Design and layout: Kristie Sparksman Creative leads: Sarah Grasse and Haley Wells

The Wolrige Foundation Van Tel/Safeway Credit Union Legacy Fund provide direct support to Writers’ Exchange in-school projects

generously donated the printing of this chapbook.

ABOUT THIS BOOK We wrote scenes for our own TV cartoons! Some of the scripts in this book are brand-new cartoons, with characters we invented. Some of them are based on shows and characters you may already be familiar with—except these scenes have never been aired in real life (yet!), because we created them ourselves as a way to make these shows even better. We hope you enjoy our new and improved cartoon TV shows!

CONTENTS 3

SpongeBob SquarePants by William J.

4

Princess and the Popstar by Emily

5

Shapeville BATTLES! by N.G.

6

Shapeville BATTLES! by Mannat

7

Shapeville BATTLES! by Jessica M.

8

Timey Bike 2000 by Drew

9

SpongeBob SquarePants by Evelyn

10

The Ghost Attack on Bikini Bottom by Danny

12

Space Stuff by Kurtis, Bryce and Jair

14

The Kingdoms by Victor

15

Stickman by Naya

16

Gaffy Meets Faze by William D.

17

Gucci Lambo by Kamo

18

Dora and SpongeBob by A.P. and Irish

20

Cyanide and Happiness by Brian

21

Caillou Ain’t No Little Kid No More by Susie

22

FAZE by Edison

23

2 Friends by Jessica Y.

24

Why by Tyianna

25

Why by Lana

26

Dora the Explorer by Rawaan

27

Mafia III by Daniel

SpongeBob SquarePants Writer: William J.

Season: 841 | Episode: 9999 Scene 1: SpongeBob and Gary are at home. Gary's hungry.

SpongeBob: Good morning, Gary!

Gary: Meow!

SpongeBob: You must be hungry. (Searches for Gary’s food.) Here you go!

(Dumps Gary’s food in the food bowl.)

Gary: (Eats food in one bite.) Burp! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!

SpongeBob: What is that? You want more food?!

Gary: Meow!

SpongeBob: Well, all right. (Dumps huge bag of snail food in bowl.) There!

No more food.

Gary: (Eats entire huge pile of snail food.) Meow! (Goes to place where SpongeBob keeps his snail food.) Meow! (Starts gobbling all the food.)

SpongeBob: Gary! Nooooo! That’s your food for the entire year! (Waves hands in the air while running around screaming.) Aaaahhhhhh! (Gary barfs all the food back.)

SpongeBob: Thank goodness. I don’t have to buy another year’s supply!

Gary: MEOW! 3

Princess and the Popstar Writer: Emily

Season: 1 | Episode: 1 | Scene: 1

Princess: Hey Patti Popstar, I like your outfit! But... wouldn’t you like to make it better?

Patti Popstar: What do you mean, make it better? I like my outfit just the way it is!

Princess: (Reveals magical microphone.) Well Patti, this magical microphone has the power to change your clothes! And I mean to change them to the most stylish of outfits ever!

Patti Popstar: Are you serious? Okay, I want to try it!

Princess: Here! Just push this button... then your outfit will change!

Patti Popstar: (After 3 seconds and a bright flash of light.) Aaaah! I... I... I... love it! These shoes are to die for.

Princess: That looks so good on you, Patti!

Patti Popstar: This is so cool and awesome! I didn’t know it was that powerful!

Princess: Believe it, girl! We’ve got to show our style!

4

Shapeville BATTLES! Writer: N.G.

Season: 1 | Episode: 15 | Scene 2: Battlefield

Dogcat: Where is Dora? She knows we’re having a battle today at 3 p.m.

Dora: Ready?... ’Cause I’ve been practicing.

Dogcat: (Punches, kicks.)

Dora: (Grunts, falls to the ground.) (Gets up.) (Throws Dogcat in air.)

Dogcat: (Falls.) (Pulls at Dora’s hair. It comes off.)

Dora: (Passes out from Dogcat’s fighting and from old age.)

Dogcat: Yay, I won. Now I can live in peace.

To be continued...

5

Shapeville BATTLES! Writer: Mannat

Season: 1 | Episode: 16 | Scene 3: Battlefield

Trevor Bot: What up, Caillou? Want to fight?

Caillou: Yeah, I have waited too long for this.

Little Timmy: (Comes out of nowhere.) Fight, fight, fight.

Trevor Bot: You’re supposed to stay home, Timmy!

Caillou: Eh, eh, eh. Caillou is getting it!

Little Timmy, aka DJ Timmy: Yeah, my name is Little Timmy. My brother’s going to fight my best friend.

Timmy’s mom: Don’t bother your brother. He needs to defeat Caillou so he can do his chores later.

1 hour later Trevor Bot: I WONNN! Trevor Bot’s mom: Yeah, now do your chores!

Dogcat: How was the fight?

Trevor Bot: What happened to you?

To be continued...

6

Shapeville BATTLES! Writer: Jessica M.

Season: 1 | Episode: 17 | Scene: 1

SpongeDog: Hello Moana. It’s you again.

Moana: There’s no room for you and me. Let’s have a SINGING BATTLE! SpongeDog: Umm. OK. (Sings.) “I’m gonna beat you and you will never win.”

Moana: (Sings.) “I’ve been staring at the edge of SpongeDog, always thinking of defeating him, never not knowing how.”

Moana: (Continues singing.) “’Cause every step I take, every time I sing, every day I think I’m gonna get that SpongeDog.” SpongeDog: Umm, Moana are you okay?

Moana: (Suffocating as she tries to sing.) Umm... I’m fi-i-ne... Moana’s... passing out...

SpongeDog: Umm... I WIN, I WIN! SpongeDog: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I won, I won.

7

Timey Bike 2000 Writer: Drew

Season: 3 | Episode 9: “The Time Machine" | Scene: 5

Brian: Stewie, can you help me build a time machine?

Stewie: Uhmm, sure, but I need something in return. I want your gold bones so I can sell them for $10,000.

Brian: What?! Fine! Just help me build a time machine.

Stewie: OK! Then go and get the materials from the basement. (Brian goes down to the basement to get the materials.) (Brian comes back upstairs with the materials.)

Brian: (Drops the materials.) Here are the materials you asked me to get.

Stewie: Good job! Let’s start working!

Narrator: A million years later...

Brian and Stewie: (Both talk simultaneously.) Finally, we’re done!

8

SpongeBob SquarePants Writer: Evelyn

Season: 312 | Episode: 26 | Scene: Squidward's Birthday

SpongeBob: (Runs to Patrick.) Patrick, look what I found!

Patrick: What is it? (Burps.)

SpongeBob: It’s an invitation to Squidward’s birthday party!

Patrick: Can you bring me too? I think there will be lots of food.

SpongeBob: Okay! Let’s go! That party is starting now!

Patrick: (Slurping juice at the party.) Wow! Squidward is so nice to invite us!

SpongeBob: Yeah, I think Squidward thinks were big kids now!

Squidward: Hi SpongeBob—wait, why are you two doofuses here?

SpongeBob: Well, I found your invitation!

Squidward: That wasn’t for you, it was for Gary. (Kicks them out of his house.)

9

The Ghost Attack on Bikini Bottom Writer: Danny

Season: 1 | Episode: 1 | Scene: 1

Flying Dutchman: Oooh, I have an idea to take over Bikini Bottom with an army of ghosts. (Boat flies over Bikini Bottom.) Where can I hire ghosts... where can I hire ghosts... where can I hire ghosts. Ooooh, I got it! The Ghost Bar. (Flies to the Ghost Bar.) Ghost bartender: Welcome. Please seat yourself.

Flying Dutchman: Where can I find a group of ghosts to hire?

(Bartender points to group of ghosts.) (Flying Dutchman goes over.)

Flying Dutchman: You want to help take me take over Bikini Bottom?

Group of ghosts: Yeh, okay, sure. Woooo... let’s go.

Flying Dutchman: Let’s go from downtown Bikini Bottom to Goo Lagoon.

Ghosts: Attack! (Captures fish buddies.)

Flying Dutchman: The last ones are in the Krusty Krab. Let’s go attack them.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, there are ghosts approaching the Krusty Krab.

Mr. Krabs: It’s okay boy-o, unleash the condiments. Squidward, get the potato cannon.

SpongeBob: Come on Patrick, let’s go. Fire! (Water gun noises.) (Reloads.)

(Water gun noises.) (Reloads.)

10

Flying Dutchman’s ghosts: Oww, this ketchup and mustard hurts.

(They disappear.)

Flying Dutchman: Hey, where did my army go? (Gasps.) You will pay for that.

Mr. Krabs: Nope, I’m not the one who hired them.

(Taunts the Flying Dutchman.)

Squidward: Let’s see... hope you like potato from a cannon. (Cannon fire.)

Flying Dutchman: I will take over Bikini Bottom some day—you will see.

(Disappears.) (Everyone is freed.)

Mr. Krabs: Yay boy-o, the invasion is over. Free krabby patties for everyone.

Wait... for a tiny discount.

11

Space Stuff

Writers: Kurtis, Bryce and Jair Season: 1 | Episode: 1 | Scenes: 1 and 2

Artist: Bryce

Artist: Kurtis

Artist: Jair 12

Scene 1 Sun: Hallo earth, hallo moon.

Moon: Go blow up something else.

Earth: Oh, sun and moon are finally friends.

Tree: I don’t think that’s what’s happening.

Sun: You’re a mean rock!

Moon: You’re a mean star. Stop trying to blow up earth.

Earth: And I’m in the ground. (Laughs.)

Sun: Global warming is fun.

Moon: I will stay with the earth and protect it from the dumb sun.

Scene 2 Sun: I’m not dumb, you’re dumb! Hey cloud, do you agree with me?

Cloud: I’m afraid of you and of global warming.

Earth: Hi. Sun: Hello fren, do you want to come closer, fren?

Moon: You go 1,000,000 miles away, and just keep earth alive.

Sun: I smell something tasty.

Earth: I smell something awful.

Star: Hello friends, how’s your solar system doing?

Moon: The sun is taking your brothers and sisters and fellow stars.

Human: Wait until I finish my Netflix show.

13

The Kingdoms Writer: Victor

Season: 19 | Episode 19: “The End" Scene 19: Bicksnerckyderk and Dinotaur fight in a black hole because they want each other's Kingdom. They are both kings.

Boompkin is thrown into the black hole.

Bicksnerckyderk: We meet again. We can fight in silence now.

Dinotaur: That’s right. Let’s go into the black hole now.

Bicksnerckyderk: I see something orange. Looks like a pumpkin.

Dinotaur: I see it too. We should check it out.

Boompkin: (Cries out.) HELP ME! Please? Anyone? (Flails arms.)

Bicksnerckyderk: Let’s help him. Let’s work together. Let’s go!

Dinotaur: Yeah, he needs help. Come on, let’s go!

Boompkin: Hello, please help me get out. I am stuck.

Bicksnerckyderk: OK, let’s get you out. I will hold you.

All: OK, let’s go. (They all float back home.)

Boompkin: Thank you. My name is Boompkin.

Bicksnerckyderk: You’re welcome, Boompkin. Let’s not fight. Let’s share the kingdoms.

Dinotaur: Yeah, let’s do it. It’s gonna be fun.

All: Let’s work together to build the best EMPIRE! 14

Stickman

Writer: Naya Season: 1 | Episode: 1 | Scene: 1

Stickman 1: (Speaking to python.) Why are you looking at me?

Stickman 2: Yeah! He’s super self-conscious.

Stickman 1: And by the way, you smell like python.

Stickman 2: Why does this python have big eyes?

Stickman 1: Why are you still watching us, you creep?

15

Gaffy Meets Faze Writer: William D.

Season: 1 | Episode: 1 Scene 6: Gaffy goes to SpongeBob's house.

Gaffy: (Rings doorbell.) Open the door, SpongeBob! SpongeBob: (Opens door.) Yo, wassup Gaffy, how’s it going?

Gaffy: Wassup, yo, you want to go to the Faze house with me?

SpongeBob: Sure. Can I bring Patrick?

Gaffy: Sure, why not.

Patrick: Wasssssaaa... I’ll go with you (They fly to Faze house.)

Gaffy: We’re here, boys.

Apex: LET’S PARTY! Gaffy: YASSSSSSSSSSSS!

16

Gucci Lambo Writer: Kamo

Season: 3 | Episode: 5 Scene 10: Rug gets into Faze, starts being a YouTuber and gets rich.

Temperrr: Rug, you’re kicked out of Faze.

Rug: Why? I’m a good gamer!

Temperrr: You don’t even game!

The whole squad: Get him! (Rug calls the FBI.) The FBI: Put your hands up or else you’re done.

Kay: Everybody run.

Rug: Get them all, FBI! FBI: Sure, get the wooden sticks out.

17

Dora and SpongeBob Writers: A.P. and Irish Season: 8 | Episode: 25 Scene: Dora and SpongeBob are meeting to solve a mystery.

Dora: (Calling SpongeBob.) SpongeBob, we need to solve a mystery!

SpongeBob: What mystery?!

Dora: Boots has been monkeynapped! (Cries.) The monkeynapper left a note! Please come here and help me solve the mystery!

SpongeBob: Okay! I’m coming!

Dora: Let’s meet at my house. (Ends phone call.) (SpongeBob arrives and knocks on the door.)

Dora: Let’s go find the clue!

SpongeBob: Wait, what clue? And what does the note say?

Dora: The note says, “If you want to see your friend Boots again, find the clue and solve the puzzle. P.S., You will need the key.”

SpongeBob: Then let’s get going and find the clue! You search inside the living room and I’ll go in the kitchen. (Dora goes to look in the living room.)

(SpongeBob looks inside the fridge and eats some food.) (He drinks some milk, then chokes. Key is inside the milk.) (Key shoots out of one of his spongeholes.)

18

SpongeBob: Dora! I found the key inside the milk.

Dora: I’m coming!

SpongeBob: There’s something written on it! (Zoom to key. Key reads “3843.”)

Dora: Hey, I recognize that number! It’s an address! But it’s abandoned now.

Maybe that is where Boots was taken! LETZ GO NOW! (SpongeBob hops in a car. Dora gets in too. SpongeBob drives.) (Dora and SpongeBob arrive.)

(They try to open the door but fail.)

Dora: Oh, the key! We need the key to open the door! (SpongeBob takes key and opens door.)

Dora: BOOTS! Where are you?! (SpongeBob finds Boots inside a room.)

Dora: Boots! YAY! We found you!

SpongeBob: Whew. Why was that so easy?!

Boots/Monkeynapper: Mwahahahahaha! Fools! They think I’m Boots!

Hahahaha...

To be continued... NOT

19

Cyanide and Happiness Writer: Brian

Season: 1 | Episode: 1 Scene: In the office of the chief of police.

Chief is complaining about no jobs to Black Knight

Black Knight: All right, Chief, what is it? I have more important places to be.

Chief of police: That’s the point! Here’s a record of all the criminals you’ve caught. No one!

Black Knight: Well, what can I say? There’s no one to catch. All of your police friends have caught them for me. And the jail calls are full! Why would you need me?!

Chief of police: LOOK AT THIS! THEY’RE EMPTY! (Points at jail cells.)

Black Knight: You guys are the cops. You should be doing your jobs.

Chief of police: We are. It’s just... (Stutters.)

Black Knight: What is it? You got something to say? Spit it out!

Chief of police: I’m trying to! It’s just...You have to help us. We’re getting beaten up! You’re making us look bad.

Black Knight: Well, I guess that’s a you problem. Look, chief, I got other places to be.

Chief of police: (Cries.)

20

Caillou Ain't No Little Kid No More Writer: Susie

Season: 7 | Episode 4: “Man up Dora" Scene: Caillou and Dora are in a boxing ring.

Caillou: (Flexes his muscles.) I guess you did show up. Like eww, Dora that weave, so last season. My forehead is shinier than that rusty backpack.

Dora: (Throws swag shades away and chugs down Gatorade.) Get ready, Caillou. (Whips out map.) Puh-lease, I can use your forehead as a mirror.

Caillou: As if. If I wanted to grow hair, then I would! (Flexes muscles.) I’d be busting it down in L.A. in my swag shades and yellow shirt.

Dora: What are you? A banana with that shirt? It ain’t Halloween CAILLO-U. Unlike you, everywhere I go, money be raining down.

Caillou: Money?! As if! The only money you got is Monopoly money.

Dora: Nice try, hun. But isn’t it bedtime? Oh sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t read the time. (Sharpens teeth.)

Caillou: At least I got a house and don’t live in the woods. (Turns boombox to play Caillou trap remix.) (Mic drop.)

Dora: (Sticks tongue out.) Running away, huh? BALDY! Caillou: (Chugs bebsi.) Adios, amigos. (Mic drop.)

21

FAZE

Writer: Edison Season: 1 | Episode: 1 Scene: Patrick meets Faze, then buys a new home.

Faze Patrick: (Sound of Lamborghini revving.) FBI! Open the door!

Faze Adapt: Okay, chill buddy. So aggressive.

Whole Faze: Faze Pat-rick, Faze Pat-rick (Screams.)

Pat-trick: Why is my room so small?

Faze Sway: Yo, want to 1v1 wagers?

Faze Patrick: (Gets 2nd place.) WHY... Nooooooooooooooooooooooo...

(Smashes screen.) Oof oof.

22

2 Friends

Writer: Jessica Y. Season: 1 | Episode: 5 Scene 1: Outside.

Star: Let’s have a walk to Mr. Krabs’ store and come back.

Bob: There’s a horse and a person. (They walk to the horse and person.)

Unicorn, with Eminem: (Polite.) Hi, we don’t know why we are here. Can you guys take us home?

Star: Of course. My house is very empty and it is enough for you guys. Glad to meet you. Let’s go to my house first, because I have a lot of clothes and you guys can have some. (Everybody walks happily to Star’s home. They are having a good time.)

Unicorn: Why does Eminem have a bigger room than me? That's not fair.

Bob: You get what you have and don’t be greedy. But now you are not part of my friends. Bye, I don’t want you to be here.

Star: Good job, Bob. That was so cool. Now me, you and Eminem are best friends.

23

Why

Writer: Tyianna Season: 1 | Episode: 5 Scene 2: Bob and Star are at Bob's place with Eminem.

Eminem: Why am I here?

Bob: Because I need you here so you can rap to us.

Star: Yeah.

Eminem: (Walks to Bob and Star.) Well, why don’t you keep the magical unicorn?

Bob: (Brings Eminem into the room.) Because you can rap and she can’t.

Star: (Goes home.) I’m leaving because I need something from my place.

(Star is lying. He leaves to see the unicorn.)

Bob: Okay, be safe.

Eminem: Can you please let me go. (Looks down.)

Bob: No. (Locks him in the room.)

24

Why

Writer: Lana Season: 1 | Episode: 5 Scene 3: Bob takes Eminem to the Krusty Krab.

Bob: You’re coming with us. The krabby patties at the Krusty Krab are good.

Eminem: Let’s go then, I’m starving. (Everyone walks to the Krusty Krab.)

Squidward: Oh no, you’re here. Go to the back, there’s food that needs to be cooked.

Bob: Not today, I’m on vacation! I’ll get three krabby patties please.

Bahahahaha.

Squidward: Whatever. Mr. Krabs, make three krabby patties. (Everyone receives krabby patties.) (Everyone eats krabby patties.)

Star: Let’s go home and watch the rest of Friends. (They all go to Bob’s house and watch Friends.) (They finish the season.)

Star: I’m hungry. Let’s eat something. Anyone feeling like ice cream?

25

Dora the Explorer Writer: Rawaan

Season: 666 | Episode: 666 Scene: Caillou and Swiper finally get their way.

Dora: Oh, hey Caillou. Nice teddy bear you got there. It’s got more hair than you. Gimmie the teddy.

Caillou: Puh-lease, Dora. If I wanted to grow hair I could, but I don’t want to!

(Rubs bald head.) “Dora,” more like “Poor-a.” (Rubs hands to make it rain with money.)

Dora: Back to the teddy. Hand it over. (Cracks knuckles.) Or we could do this the hard way. (Takes off swag leather jacket and throws it to the ground.)

Caillou: LET’S DO THIS! (Flips hat backward.) (Whistles.) (Swiper appears with a drum.) (Swiper starts playing a beat.) (Caillou sings the theme song tune.) “I like exploring... I’M CAILLOU.” Dora: Oh yeah? Two can play at that game. (Gets down on the floor.) (Starts breakdancing.) (Wipes hair out of eyes.)

Caillou: That all ya got? (Flexes Gucci shoes and pulls out iPhone 11.) (Chugs down Monster energy drink.)

Dora: (Pulls out map.) Caillou, I’m sorry but according to my map, Baby Island is right were you’re standing. (Pulls out graffiti pen.) (Writes insult on Caillou’s big bald forehead.)

Caillou: (Pulls out iPhone 11 again.) Call me—sike, you don’t got a phone. Get on my level. (Throws hat to the ground.) (Mic drop.)

26

Mafia III

Writer: Daniel Season: 2 | Episode: 5 Scene 910: Giorgi and Lincoln are robbing a bank

Lincoln: (Mad.) You pulled the alarm.

Giorgi: I didn’t pull it. I’m getting the money.

Danny: I’m going to throw the dynamite. Get away from the hole, it’s going to blow. (The dynamite blows, but Lincoln doesn’t get away in time.)

Danny: OWWW! (Lincoln and Giorgi get out.) (They get on the boat, but the police don’t give up.) (There is a big battle.)

Lincoln: I don’t want it to end over this.

Vito: So, you served in Vietnam, huh?

Lincoln: Yes sir.

Vito: Something tells me you earned a few pieces of tin over there.

Lincoln: I served with some good men. Nothing I’ve done would’ve happened without them.

27

AUTOGRAPHS

As an author of a Writers’ Exchange book, you are invited to sign up for FREE after-school and summer programs at the Writers’ Exchange home base at 207–877 East Hastings Street.

We run programs for kids in grades 1 to 12.

Ask your teacher for a signup sheet, go to vancouverWE.com or call Jennifer at 604-428-8228 for more information.