Do Not Eat: Floppy, Cheesy Stories

Copyright © 2018 The Writers’ Exchange This book is a collection of writing and art created by the kids of the Writers’ Exchange during our fall 2018 after-school programs.

The Writers’ Exchange gets inner-city kids excited about reading, writing and their own potential through mentoring and creative projects like this chapbook. All Writers’ Exchange programs are free for the children and families we serve, so we could not exist without the support of amazing donors, including Social Venture Partners Vancouver, BOCCI, Marily Mearns, Linda Louis, the Waterbury Foundation, Bernard MacLeod, Megan Abbott, the City of Vancouver, Sasamat Foundation, TELUS, British Columbia Arts Council, Richard and Suzanne Cole, Nancy and Ted Maitland, John and Nina Cassils, Judy Gale, Lindsay Mearns, the Grayross Foundation held at the Vancouver Foundation, Premium Brand Foods, the Edith Lando Charitable Foundation, the Wolrige Foundation, the Van Tel/Safeway Credit Union Legacy Fund and CLICK (Contributing to Lives of Inner City Kids Society). Thank you.

207 – 877 East Hastings Street Vancouver, BC V6A 1R8 vancouverWE.com We are honoured to be able to provide safe, fun and welcoming programs for kids and their families on the unceded and traditional territories of the x wməθk wəyəm (Musqueam), skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) and selílwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.

As uninvited guests on this land we are grateful to be able to enjoy this beautiful place and we are committed to building relationships and learning about ongoing traditional ways of life from our Indigenous friends.

Design and layout: Melanie Kwan | melaniekwan.com Cover and chapter illustrations: Graeme Zirk | graemezirk.com Program coordinator: Taylor Richardson

These kind organizations support after-school programs at the Writers’ Room:

generously donated the printing of this chapbook.

CONTENTS STORIES FROM THE HEART Vietnam Legend, by A.L. My Sandcastle, by Sherry What Are Friends?, by E.Z. Max, by Savana The Trip, by Lulu At Home, by Jason The Dream, by Memorie Where’s My Hair, by D.C., Valentina and Veeco The Tree, by Jenny T. The Angel and Demon Love, by Chi Chi The Girls, by Katana

1 1 2 2 2 3 3 3 4 4 4

Magic & Unicorns Bob and the Unicorn Girl, by Peaches The Unicorn, by Mary The Wish, by S.R. The Magic Pencil, by Sylvia Frogs Take over the World, by Aaron Marvel, by Kiasa Magnolia the Unicorn, by Esme Bad Ronald, by Reina How to Make a Fortune Teller, by Kimi

5 6 6 7 7 7 8 8 9

Floppy, Furry Friends Ears, by Aisa Missing Cat, by Jasmine B.G. Carrie the Lion, by Aliyah My Cat Took It, by Mitchell Coocoo the Puma, by Carol Koda the Cat, by Donna Garfield, by Selena About My Cat, by Lisa The Cat Capturer, by Joey

10 10 11 11 11 11 12 12 12

DO NOT EAT Menu, by Greasy Fingers The Munchie Monster Cracker, by William The Beef Jerky, by Biden Thor and the Beets, by Wyatt I Baked Another Cake, by Riley Jeff Became a Chef, by Kyle Crash!, by Philip The Maze, by Jasmine B.P. Fast Cake, by Jackson

13 14 14 15 15 16 16 17 18

Monsters & Mysteries Tolit, by Tony F. Zomnator: Part One, by Allen The Hospital, Part One, by Sophia The Jack-o’-Lantern That Came to Life, by Eric Dragons vs. Vampires, by Calvin Godzilla Attack, Part One, by Gavin Godzilla Attack, Part Two, by Anthony The Haunted House, by Kayla

19 20 20 21 21 22 23 24

Fun, Crazy & Cheesy Pizza Daze, Part One, by Alexander Little Finn Kicked the World, by Finn The Spider, by Jett The Emoji, by Kiana Ray’s Top Ten Ways to Annoy Adults, by Ray Two Angry Trees in a Nutshell, by J.H. Cuphead (in a Nutshell), by Stephanie M. Banana, by Tommy The Waterslide, by Matthias Frankenstein, by Oscar The Robbery, by Jayden Poor Story, by Farley Momo Story, by Nate Bro, by Benny S. Happy in the City, by Abreena I’m Nervous, by Terence

26 26 27 27 28 29 29 30 30 31 31 32 33 34 34 34

Battles, Portals & Adventures Shadow and Light, by Kevin C. The Little Carrot, by Yammie The Dragon Curse, by Francis The Story of Fortnite, by Ewen Minecraft, by Dorth Find Diamonds, by Kevin W. The Evil Magician, by Hollis The Lego Police Men!, by Anson Demonetized, by Jeff

35 36 38 39 40 40 41 42 42

Writers’ Exchange Epics Pickle Land Party, by Beatrice The Return of Bloody Donut, by Jennifer L. BTS of Illuminati Series, by Tony L. and Benny D. Fortnite, by Jack The Illuminati Series: The Final Reckoning, by Tony L. Hi, by Legend

43 44 46 50 51 53

STORIES FROM THE HEART Vietnam Legend

By A.L., age 9 One day I was walking with my mom and dad and we saw a portal.

My dad said it was dangerous to go in, but my mom was curious.

She said, “Come on, let’s go in!” We went in the portal and we were falling down, then we saw Vietnam’s past. The Vietnamese king was there. We saw Ho Chi Minh in the past. It was really awesome. I got to know Vietnam. I saw my mom and dad when they were children.

They were separate because they didn’t know each other yet. But my grandma visited my other grandmother with her son (a.k.a. my dad).

They had a dinner of Vietnamese soup. Then I went to the year 2009 in Vietnam and saw myself as a baby. It was really cool. I saw my baby life, then I saw my preschool, which was called Thunderbird. I saw myself being mean at preschool. I felt sorry. I had to say sorry to all my classmates. I wanted to go to other countries but my mom only wanted to go to Vietnam. My parents and I went to the portal and we went back to Canada.

My Sandcastle

By Sherry, age 6 I made a sandcastle with Riley but the water of the sea destroyed it.

So we decided to build another one on Kitsilano Beach.

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1

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What Are Friends?

By E.Z., age 11 Having a supportive friend always beside you is important. When you feel down, excited or mad, you have someone to talk to, someone who will listen. Friends are people we like. Someone who is fun, and can play with you. They are also someone who will come to you, and dump their feelings on you. Even if you’re close with your friends, fights might happen. Fights keep you two away from each other, and also make you mad. It might be hard for one of you two to say sorry.

You and your friend might have special things you only do when you’re together because your friend is special. Yes, friends are special.

Well, at least to you.

Max

By Savana, age 10 Max is my imaginary friend. When they are mad they go for a walk.

They got scared because they saw someone they don’t like. They ran away fast. They never came back. They came back and said, “I am sorry, please, yes. But what happened was that I was mad at the outside and sad in the inside. That’s all, ok.”

The Trip

By Lulu I love my grandma and grandpa. They are rich. When I was little they went to Toronto. I am going to visit them on Mother’s Day.

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At Home

By Jason, age 7 I have my house. The clouds are flying by. There is green grass.

The sun is out.

The Dream

By Memorie, age 9 There was a girl. She loved to sing. She hated school. Her mom loved her so much and she had friends that were so nice to her and they loved to sing too. She made a kid band on YouTube. That girl was me.

And her name was Rose. Her mom’s name started with T. And one of her other friend’s names started with L.

Where’s My Hair

By D.C., age 12, Valentina, age 12, and Veeco, age 12 One day, Julia was walking home after school. Suddenly, a big crow swooped over. It pooped on Julia’s head, but she didn’t really mind.

Rumour has it that bird poop is good luck.

The day after. . .

At school she got laughed at because she didn’t wash her hair.

She didn’t want to get laughed at again, so she went to the washroom to get it off. But it didn’t come off. She scrubbed as hard as she could but nothing happened. Suddenly, the meanest girl in school came in the washroom. She decided to help Julia out a bit, so she scrubbed her head until her hair fell out! She said “Sorry not sorry” to Julia and ran away. Finally, the teacher came in and gave her a wig.

STORIES FROM THE HEART

3

The Tree

By Jenny T., age 11 There was a tree.

The tree had apples.

Someone ate the apples.

The tree had no apples.

Then the tree had leaves.

A giraffe ate the leaves.

Now it had no leaves.

A woodcutter cut off its branches.

The tree got depressed.

Then the tree died.

The Angel and Demon Love

By Chi Chi, age 7 Once upon a time there was an angel and a demon. They were living far away from each other. Ten days later they had grown up. One hour later they were at school when the demon looked at the angel. He started to have a crush on her. Ten days later they got married.

The Girls

By Katana, age 11 There are these girls and they seem nice, but on the inside they are rude. You wouldn’t want to meet them when they are mad. Thank you for reading my story.

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MAGIC & UNICORNS Bob and the Unicorn Girl

By Peaches, age 9 Part One

Shimmer was a unicorn girl who found a puppy in the alley. She decided to name him Bob. Shimmer took him home to the unicorn world. She fed him, bathed him and played with him. Then the king of puppies took Bob home to the human world. The king of puppies was named Puppy King Moustache. Shimmer went back to the human world to find Bob the puppy. She told her human friends she would spy on King Moustache. Stay tuned for Part Two. Part two

Shimmer the unicorn girl set off on her journey to find Bob the puppy. At the king’s castle, Bob was in the dungeon with all the other puppies. He was crying for help. There was a voice recording of the king saying, “Nobody can hear you. You are 18 miles underground and deep in the forest.” Shimmer had an old map with an “X” on it.

She was trying to follow the map, then she remembered that she had unicorn powers and she transported to Bob the puppy. She grabbed Bob the puppy, went upstairs to the king’s throne and said, “You are not supposed to be stealing puppies. Now I will banish you from this dimension! Now you’re off—poof!”

And Shimmer the unicorn girl saved the rest of the puppies in the world.

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The Unicorn

By Mary, age 9

Once upon a time there was a unicorn. The unicorn was a baby, and it didn’t know what to do. The unicorn baby was hungry. Nobody cared about it. Then the unicorn baby found someone, and the person that she found grabbed her and raised her. After that, she got older and she went to do her job at a doctor’s place!

The Wish

By S.R. Have you ever had a wish? If you didn’t, let’s start off by reading this.

A book said that if you get a cup and then do “The Cup Song,” you get ONE WISH. “Well,” said the boy, “I’m going to bed.” But his sister kept on going. When she went to sleep, the book came to life! They woke up and their jaws opened so wide that you could see their silver teeth. They saw the book talk! It said, “You have a wish . . . you have a wish . . . you have a wish . . .” So they made a wish. The wish was . . .

To be continued . . .

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The Magic Pencil

By Sylvia, age 7 Once upon a time, I found a magic pencil while digging in the snow.

I started drawing a horse and it appeared in front of me. Then I drew a necklace and it came to life. I kept it in a special box, then I went home, ate dinner, took a bath, brushed my teeth and went to bed. The magic pencil flew back to heaven!

Frogs Take Over the World

By Aaron, age 6 The frog starts off small. Then it grows bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until it grows babies. Then the babies get big. Then they take over the world. Their tongues get longer and then their tongues start to stick on buildings and pull them and eat them. They shove them in their mouth because the buildings are so big. Then the frogs eat everything. They start eating humans and their pets.

Marvel

By Kiasa, age 7 Thanos and Captain America went to Wakanda. Mr. Fantastic went to visit them, with Human Torch, Black Panther and Nova. They all visited their other friends.

MAGIC & UNICORNS

7

Magnolia the Unicorn

By Esme, age 7 Magnolia is a unicorn who lives in the clouds with other animals.

They play all day and then they eat dessert. But they had to fight a tentacle and a pink and fluffy monster. They won the fight and now they can play and eat desserts all day.

Bad Ronald

By Reina, age 10 Once upon a time, a few days ago, a kind of old scientist named Ronald got banished from Canada because he did something wrong.

He kept putting toilet paper on the president’s house, and he threw pie at her face. It was invisible toilet paper and the pie had allergic things in the apple filling! Her allergies made her itchy, so she sent Ronald away to live in an old creepy house in Mexico. Then the president said sorry and she forgave him and they lived happily ever after!

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How to Make a Fortune Teller

By Kimi, age 7

1.

You need paper. If it is not square, you have to cut it into a square

2.

Fold square in half x 2

3.

Open the paper and fold across x 2

4.

Now your paper will look like this:

5.

Now fold each corner into the middle

6.

Now flip it around

7.

Now fold all corners into the middle

8.

Now fold it in half

9.

Now put your thumbs and pointer finger under each flap, slowly squeeze and put your two thumbs and two fingers together MAGIC & UNICORNS

9

FLOPPY, FURRY FRIENDS Ears

By Aisa, age 8 Once there was a rabbit. His name was Ears. He loved carrots. He ate carrots every day. One day he ate too many carrots. He saw very far away. He went blind because he saw too many things. He tried to go to bed and have some rest, but instead he went into the washroom and got soaking wet. His mom brought him to the eye doctor. The eye doctor said he needed glasses. Then he got glasses. From then on he ate other things, too.

Missing Cat

By Jasmine B.G., age 11 One day there was a missing cat. Then it found a home and they named her Lucky. She was stinky, and that meant she had to take a bath. She didn’t like the water and she tried to run away again, but they caught her and made her take a bath. Then she heard the water running and tried to run out the washroom door. And then she got clean. She was stinky. They gave her a treat and it made her feel better about the bath.

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Carrie the Lion

By Aliyah, age 6 Carrie is a lion who can blow fire, fly and also make rainbows. He goes around town making rainbows so that everybody is always happy.

Everybody is always so excited when they see Carrie because he is so nice to everyone.

My Cat Took It

By Mitchell, age 7 First, I was eating oranges at my house. Then my cat jumped on me and took my oranges from me. Next, my cat ate them. She ate the peel.

Coocoo the Puma

By Carol, age 6 Coocoo the puma goes on an adventure. She meets a fortune teller.

She shares her gummy bears with her new friend. They go together to the park and play.

Koda the Cat

By Donna, age 7 I have a crazy cat named Koda. He caught two mice. Koda lives in Vancouver. He eats too much and gets fat. Then he drinks water and feels better.

FLOPPY, FURRY FRIENDS

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Garfield

By Selena, age 9 Garfield got stuck in a tree and Odie was watching him in the tree.

Someone got Garfield down from the tree and he went to see the flowers. Garfield thought he saw a bee and ran away, but it was just Odie. Garfield got ice cream and gave one to Odie and Odie ate it all and licked Jon on the face.

About My Cat

By Lisa, age 7 I love my cat, and my cat’s name is Grey. She lives at my house. She likes to eat cat food. I got her from my sister’s friend.

The Cat Capturer

By Joey, age 11 Once there was a cat. Once there was a guy. The cat took a walk.

The guy was paid $100,000,000 to capture the cat. The guy hid and waited. The cat came closer . . . The guy was crouching . . . and then the cat ran. The cat had caught the scent of the guy’s french fry breath. The guy ran after the cat. The cat ran . . . the guy took out a net . . . and the cat made a daring move! The cat jumped off a cliff!

The guy stopped. The cat landed on its feet. The guy got mad. But he promised to catch the cat. For he was . . . the cat capturer.

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DO NOT EAT! Menu

By Greasy Fingers, est. 2018 Appetizers

Drinks

Deep Fried Donut on a Stick . .$3

Sugar Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$1

Employees’ Lunch . . . . . . $2 – $3

Vinegar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2

Rotten Ketchup . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1

Car Oil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . $3

Fat ’n’ Grease . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4

Foreign Substance #553. . . . . .$3 Warm Soda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1

Entrées Onions and Rings . . . . . . . . . . . $4

Soggy Sad-wich . . . . . . . . . . . . . $3

Tapeworm Burger. . . . . . . . . . . $4

Yellow Sticks* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $3

Plane Wings (6) . . . . . . . $70, 000 (BBQ, Salt ’n’ Pepper and Hot) Kids’ Menu Tapeworm Burger Jr. . . . . . . . .$3 Small Yellow Sticks*. . . . . . . . . $2 Burnt Chips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $2 Soggy Sad-wich Jr. . . . . . . . . . . $2 (All items on kids’ menu come with warm soda and a melted sundae) * Can’t call them “french fries” for legal reasons

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The Munchie Monster Cracker

By William, age 7 Once there was a monster called the Munchie Monster Cracker in Munchie Land. He was made entirely out of rice crackers and lived in a cabin made out of rice crackers. One day he got so hungry that he ate his whole house. He then made a jetpack to fly to Cloud Land.

When he got there he ate all of Cloud Land because he thought it was cotton candy. The Munchie Monster Cracker was still hungry, so he took his jetpack and flew to China. When he got there he ate up all the temples because he thought they were made from gingerbread. He was still hungry but now everyone was very afraid of him for eating so many places. So they came up with a plan to stop him. Everyone went to China. They saw the temple was gone because he ate it. So they found the Munchie Monster and ate him, and it was delicious.

And that was the end of the Munchie Monster.

The Beef Jerky

By Biden, age 6 Captain Underpants eats beef jerky. “Mmm, tasty,� says Captain Underpants. Beef jerky is digested in the stomach. Captain Underpants drinks water. But Theodore the bad guy has poisoned the water. Captain Underpants becomes sick. His head hurts, and he becomes flat like a piece of paper.

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Thor and the Beets

By Wyatt, age 12

VS

BEETS

THOR

Once upon a time there was a beet farmer named Thor. He lived on Planet Thor. One day he decided to plant 550 beets, so that’s what he did. Three years later, Thor heard a knock on his door. He opened the door and saw all 550 beets at his door, and the beets declared war against Thor. But what the beets did not know was that Thor is a god!

To be continued . . .

I Baked Another Cake

By Riley, age 6 I made a chocolate cake with Sherry. The cake exploded! It got all over. So we baked another cake.

do not eat!

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Jeff Became a Chef

By Kyle, age 11 One day Jeff was born. In 1989 he had a job. He became a chef, but he couldn’t cook, because he had never cooked before. But Jeff’s boss said, “What’s nine plus ten?” Jeff said, “21.” Jeff’s boss said, “Correct!”

But it was wrong. Jeff smiled because Jeff knew how to cook.

Crash!

By Philip, age 10 Narrator: It all started one night . . .

Big: Little!!! Butt over here, bub!

Little: Be quiet.

Big: Just get down!

Little: Fine.

Narrator: Little went downstairs and saw bananas. There was also a tag. It said “For Little.”

Little: Hmmm . . .

Narrator: Suddenly, the bananas turned around and each banana had a face! And not just any face. They had angry faces!

Little: What the . . . !

Narrator: Little smashed the bananas. But his fist was injured.

Little: Holy . . .

Narrator: Little took two steps back and . . . THUMP . . . CRASH . . .

CRACK! Little fell in a hole!

Little: aaaaaaaap!

To be continued! Even though I probably won’t make a Part Two.

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the maze

By Jasmine B.P., age 10 START Swarm of Bees

Secret Hole

Pool of Water

Spiderweb Trap

Rules for the Maze 1. You must have bubble gum on your head.

2. You must have books on your legs.

3. You must have flowers in your nose.

4. You must have cheese on your ears.

5. You must have ranch dressing on your chin.

6. You must have crackers on your eyes.

popcorn falling from the sky

marbles on the ground

7. You must be covered entirely in paint.

Tips 1. To get by the popcorn rain, you need to eat the popcorn.

2. To get by the spider webs, you need to befriend the spiders.

3. To get by the swarm of bees, you need to pet them because they love being pet.

4. To get by the marbles, you need to roll them out of the way.

5. To get by the hole, you need to dig another hole to fill the first hole in.

6. To get by the pool of water, you need to defeat the shark. do not eat!

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Fast Cake

By Jackson, age 9+ Ingredients 1. Lime (1/2) 2. Butter (1/2) 3. Jello (100/2) 4. Dirt (0/1) 5. Hair (70/2) 6. Pop (7 gallons) 7. Ghost pepper (7) 8. Eye lashes (2) 9. Dog skin Directions Mix everything.

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MONSTERS & MYSTERIES Tolit

By Tony F., age 12 A young boy blinked in and out of consciousness, willing himself to stay awake. He slowly opened his eyes, accustoming them to the dim light provided by one lonely window. He reached up, grabbing the rim of a “tolit.” Slowly lifting himself up, he groaned in pain, rubbing his side. With one hand to his hip, he walked to the stall door, nudging it open. He stepped out, looking around the cube-shaped room. He walked to a wall. Slumping down, he fell back as the door opened. He fell back, hitting his head.

He opened his eyes, temporarily blinded by the bright light. He somehow stood, shielding his eyes, letting them get used to the dazing of the light. He looked, seeing multiple figures from far away. He assumed that they stood about 50 metres away. He got a weird vibe from them. With his mind screaming at him to run, he willed himself to get closer. But as the figures turned to him, his mind took over. He sprinted to a door that was at the other side of the room. He vaulted over a table, hitting his elbow. He kept running until he turned a corner, then he halted. Panting heavily, he saw a door. He made his way over, touching the handle. And at that moment, a tingling sensation reached at his ankles and a cold feeling came to his chest.

A girl woke up, her head loosely rolled to the side. She squinted, looking at the tolit. Her eyes widened. There was a foot sticking out . . .

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Zomnator: Part One

By Allen, age 10 This might be scary for kids under age 5.

It was midnight. A lonely boy abandoned his family. He went to a graveyard. He sat down. He felt someone or something touching his leg. He thought, “What was that?” He looked down, and he screamed.

It was a hand. It had dug itself up. The boy was trying to run away but he could not because the zombie hand was holding him by the leg. He was yelling for help. He wished he had never abandoned his family.

The zombie ate him and he turned into a zombie. Dun dun dun. The zombies are still here. They went to the city To be continued . . . If you like this story, read Part Two next year.

The Hospital, Part One

By Sophia, age 9 Once there was a nine-year-old boy named Jack and a girl named Sophia. They were friends. One day they walked into a hospital that they didn’t know was haunted. There was no one there. It was dark and cold. They looked through the hallways, and up and down the stairs. They got creeped out, so they went to the bottom floor from the 13th floor. They were going to go out the front door but the doors were blocked by two zombie heads. Then the zombie bodies came toward them. They ran into the closet and shut the door. Jack spotted a shooter that shoots out corn and butter. They opened the door silently . . .

To be continued . . .

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The Jack-o’-lantern That Came to Life

By Eric, age 8 One day on Halloween a man carved the biggest pumpkin on earth.

At 8:30 p.m. something weird happened: the pumpkin grew giant legs and hands and wings. Then the jack-o’-lantern made other pumpkins come alive. They were as big as an adult’s head. They had the ability to shoot lasers out of their eyes. The giant jack-o’-lantern sucked up all the candy in the whole wide world. The kids were mad.

One smart kid brought a hose and turned it on. He sprayed the jack-o’-lantern through his mouth and hit his candle. Then his candle went out and he fell down. He exploded, with candy everywhere.

Everything was normal.

Dragons vs. Vampires

By Calvin, age 7 The German dragons were fighting the Russian vampires for five years.

monsters & mysteries

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Godzilla Attack, Part One

By Gavin, age 10

Once upon a time in the middle of nowhere . . .

Then Godzilla came and destroyed the city

But we ran to our house

We went to destroy him

and got our FBI car to save the day

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To be continued . . .

Godzilla Attack, Part Two

By Anthony, age 9

He smashed our car

How did he do that?

Going to fight Godzilla and save our FBI house

We went to find our robot to protect our house

noooo acid

We put shrinking acid on Godzilla

monsters & mysteries

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The Haunted House

By Kayla, age 9 A long time ago, in the woods, there was a house that stood creepily by a lake. This was a really creepy house because it was full of haunted things. The last people who lived there died. The ghosts took over the bodies so they could be human. They wanted to defeat everybody on earth and rule.

Anyway, there was this girl. She loved gardening and she wanted to protect the world from dangerous things. One day she was about to move to a new house, but first she wanted to stop by the lake. She went to the lake, but then she saw the old house. Another boy came along. He said, “Ha, you’re afraid of the house.”

“No I’m not,” she said, bravely.

“Prove it to me then,” he said.

“Fine! I’ll go inside,” she said.

“Yeah, good luck with that!” he said, and called her names.

She went right inside. The door shut behind her. She was trapped. Everything was dark except for one glowing candle upstairs.

She went closer and closer, because she didn’t know that a ghost was holding it. When she got close enough she could see the candle floating. She started running for the door, but it was locked.

Suddenly, the candle fell and started burning the wood floor. She said, “What, how can that be? Something went running through the door, and I’ll bet you it’s a ghost.” Then something started to pull her into a room. In the room was the body of the person who lived there before. She screamed, and the boy outside heard her. “I knew you’d freak out from one little spider,” he called.

But she didn’t give up. She saw a wire and tried opening the lock.

It worked! When the door opened she saw a zombie. She started to battle. She knocked down the front door with her foot. The zombie started chasing her and the boy. They started swimming across the 24

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lake. When they got out of the water, they saw a warning sign. It said BEWARE OF BEARS. But they couldn’t go back.

The boy and girl saw a bear come. But they didn’t panic. They turned around and saw that the bear was attacking the zombies.

They ran, but then they came back to the same house—they had gone in a big circle. They went back into the house and decided to paint it now that the zombies were gone. They apologized to each other and became friends. They went to the store and painted the house bright yellow with a touch of green. They cleaned up everything the zombies had left. Then they lived together in the house.

monsters & mysteries

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FUN, CRAZY & CHEESY Pizza Daze, Part One

By Alexander, age 8 Once there was a pizza deliverer named Joe. He went to deliver Coke to house 2273. Then a ghost appeared with three bags of pizza. The ghost touched him, then he ran away. But pizza came out of the pizza boxes. Joe found a bunker but it was locked. Then he saw a keybox.

But he couldn’t open it without a special wrench, and the bunker was the only way to escape from the ghost.

To be continued . . .

Little Finn Kicked the World

By Finn, age 9

One day little Finn kicked the world.

He kicked it so hard it was a knock-out.

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the spider

By Jett, age 8

neighbour's house 16 tons

The spider got used to being a spider. It could jump over any wall and any length.

The Emoji

By Kiana, age 7

There was an emoji who couldn’t cross the road.

Then all of the people finally moved so he could cross the road.

When he got home he had a party. He invited Sonic, Chara and Todd.

funny, crazy & cheesy

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Ray’s Top Ten Ways to Annoy Adults

By Ray, age 13

Just try your best.

Mom, I can't go to sleep!

1. Call your teacher “Teacher” even if you know their name.

2. Poke them and repeat their name.

3. Don’t clean up your messes or do your chores.

4. Make random loud noises.

5. Say, “Hey, look!” but point to nothing.

6. Chew with your mouth open.

7. Draw a moustache on your little brother/sister/cousin/ friend with a permanent marker.

8. Pat them on the top of their head.

9. Tell them that you need to go to the bathroom five minutes after you leave home.

10. Stay awake for as long as you possibly can.

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Two Angry Trees in a Nutshell

By J.H., age 11 Tree 2: Yo, where’s my water resources, Water Hog! Tree 1: What you say?

Tree 2: Just give my sewage tap water back!

Tree 1: Ey, you stole my extra-juicy bottled vitamin D! Tree 2: No, the neighbour’s tree stole your vitamin D. ...

Tree 1: No, the neighbours have no trees . . .

Tree 2: Just give me my water back. Yo, there’s still water :D

Cuphead (in a Nutshell)

By Stephanie M., age 12

You gamble, you own the devil muns, you go to people and, pew pew, you win.

funny, crazy & cheesy

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Banana

By Tommy, age 9 chapter 1

Banana slaps people. Banana gets $10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000 for every day of slapping people. Banana’s boss pays him.

Chapter 2

When Banana slaps people, Banana gets money.

Chapter 3

Banana slapped people. Banana found a person named Jeff. Banana slapped Jeff. Jeff got mad. Jeff got into a fight with Banana.

Chapter 4

Jeff fought Banana and Jeff got $900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Jeff was happy, but then Jeff got mad because Jeff could not lift the money.

The Waterslide

By Matthias, age 7 Idea: One big waterslide Cost: Free for kids, $10 for babies, $5 for adults Rules: No food allowed Special feature: It will make you fly off, so you will need a life ring

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Frankenstein

By Oscar, age 7

Frankenstein slept in the dirt and he said, “I saw a hat!” Then he said, “I see a bed that I can sleep on.” Then he met a bear in his bed.

Frankenstein fought for his bed back and he got it.

The Robbery

By Jayden, age 8 Once upon a time, Doc Ock and Sandman were robbing a bank.

Iron Spiderman swung in by the wall, but he didn’t see Doc Ock or Sandman in the bank. Then Sandman was behind him, but Spiderman poured water on him. But Doc Ock escaped.

To be continued . . . funny, crazy & cheesy

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Poor Story

By Farley, age 9

O R P H A N AG E

Once a baby was being born on a street. It wasn’t in a hospital because it was 800 miles away and they were running out of time and they didn’t have lots of money for a taxi. They only had 1 cent.

Once, when he was two and a half years old, he said, “What are those square and triangle things, Mommy?

“They’re homes,” said the mom.

“What are homes?” said the boy.

“You live in them,” she said.

“Oh,” said the boy. “Why don’t we have one, Mommy?”

“Because we’re too poor,” said the mom.

Years passed and now we’ll talk about when he was five and a half. He said, “All the kids at school have TVs. Can we have one, Dad?” “No,” said the dad.

“Why?” said the boy. (The boy’s name was Nike.)

“It’s too expensive,” said the dad.

Five years later, Nike was 11 years old. They got paid $100 by the government and bought a big house. The mom and dad went

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to a restaurant, but days passed and they never came back. Later, he heard there was a bunch of people who got food poisoning at a restaurant.

Nike was found by the police and he went to an orphanage. At the orphanage, a bully pushed him in the mud. The boy could not stay there, so he ran away. He ran so far he went from New York, U.S.A., to London, England. How did he do that, you’re probably wondering. It’s magic—actually, no, it was not magic. He snuck onto a plane.

In England he made more money. He bought a TV and a computer and played lots of Fortnite. Every day he played Fortnite.

All he could ever think of was Fortnite. Then someone robbed him and he cried every night. He said, “I’m going to Fortnite.”

Fifty years later he’s still crazy about Fortnite. Once, he said, “I found a Port-o-Fortress.” Fifty years after that he said, “I’m too old for this,” and he flushed himself down the toilet. “Ha Ha Ha,” he said. “I’m in the sewer. Hi Pennywise.”

The End (I hope, because this is weird now. Sooo . . . The End)

Momo Story

By Nate, age 10

Momo is a creepy chicken or statue.

You could add Momo to your contacts. Momo is a messenger.

If you see Momo, run!

This is what Momo looks like!?

funny, crazy & cheesy

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Bro

By Benny S., age 6 Bro is a Minecraft character. He is really smart at Minecraft. He gets to level 1000 and wins.

Happy in the City

By Abreena, age 7 Happy jumped out of my phone. He met a lot of people. And a really cool guy gave Happy a stuffie. He went to a pizza store and got a cheese pizza. It was yummmmy! And he drank a smoothie.

I’m Nervous

By Terence, age 7 My friend was going on a date and I wanted to go on a date with her.

I’m so depressed!

After he told me, I went arrgh!

Everybody else sat there watching.

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BATTLES, PORTALS & ADVENTURES

Shadow and Light

By Kevin C., age 10 Once upon a time there was a man named Light. There was the legend of Light and Shadow. They always fought before. But now there was peace. But then someone named Shock brought Shadow back to life with a magic crystal.

Light found out on the news that Shock, his old friend, had brought back Shadow. Then Shadow and Light met. “We meet again, Shadow,” Light said. Shadow said, “Light, you really think you can destroy me?” Shadow and Light fought. Then Light got the magic crystal and used the power. Shadow was destroyed. Then the crystal exploded out of Light’s hands. Shock got the crystal and used the power to make a portal to go to another dimension and leave the earth.

To be continued . . . will Light defeat Shock?

☞

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☜

the little carrot

By Yammie, age 11

One day a big carrot was“working�on the school ...

Why is it here?

Just the boy ...

So I will find the boy and get revenge

The boy is coming

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2 hours later...

wait, wait

Then the revenge didn’ t start, but was already ended

battles, portals & adventures

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The Dragon Curse

By Francis, age 8

One day an angry wizard named Oz cursed a dragon when it was sleeping. The wizard lived in the forest. The dragon attacked the wizard. But the wizard fought back against the dragon. The curse was that the wizard could control the dragon. The dragon went crazy.

It broke houses. The only way to unleash its spell was to go in its cave and steal its eggs. But some eggs are different—they are fake eggs.

There are ten eggs in total. There is one that is a special egg.

The wizard went to his underground base. He hid from the village’s people. The village people wanted Oz the Wizard. One day, the wizard came out of his underground base and the people were waiting for him. The villagers captured the wizard Oz. They put the wizard in jail . . .

One day later, the wizard flushed himself down the toilet. He flew out of jail. The wizard had to find his wand.

One hour later, he found a wired crack. He stepped on the crack and fell into a pit of gems. He found his wand buried in the gems. He found a crystal stuck to a rock. He turned the rock and he fell into a pit full of . . . lava. Then he fell into a net.

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The wizard was getting really hot. Soon he would go away. There was a crack in the wall. He got out of the net and he had almost made it when the crack started to close. Was the wizard going to make it?

Yes, he made it for a little while. The wizard screamed, “Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.”

The wizard fell asleep. He was never to be seen again. One person claimed he found the wizard, but no one believed that guy. Then a person did find the wizard Oz. He was either dead or asleep—no one knows how but he actually put a curse on himself so he would wake up in the year 3000.

To be continued . . .

The Story of Fortnite

By Ewen, age 8 One day there was a bus driver. One day he drove into a little portal and got teleported to an island. A Skull Trooper walked up to the bus driver and asked him who he was. He said he was a bus driver and asked where he was. The Skull Trooper said he was in Fortnite.

The bus driver asked what Fortnite was, and the Skull Trooper said Fortnite was a video game and that everyone had to battle to win and you need XP to level up. The bus driver jumped off the bus and followed the Skull Trooper and started the game. They almost won, and after the game the driver and the Trooper played a lot of games together. Every game was a day in Fortnite. He did lots and went through a lot of seasons and seasons . . . And when season 6 started, it was how the bus driver met the Skull Trooper.

battles, portals & adventures

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Minecraft

By Dorth, age 7

I played Minecraft. I saw a zombie and I saw a skeleton. I glided over the ocean. I went to get my Minecraft sword. I glided to the village. I saw villagers. I ate meat.

Find Diamonds

By Kevin W., age 7 Once upon a time a man was on a boat to find treasure and a diamond gold rock. The man had to travel through lava to get to the treasure. He made a map of where the treasure would be. The man and his boat went on top of the lava. The man was not scared of the lava. A lava dragon came out of the lava and the dragon shot lava balls at the man. He missed the man on the boat! The man defeated the dragon by using the water on his boat. The man saw a cliff with a bright-coloured chest on it. There were coins, diamonds and gold rocks inside. He couldn’t believe what he saw. He would be rich!

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The Evil Magician

By Hollis, age 9

Hi, my name is Chaos. My brother was attacking me with flashes of lava. I dodged it fast, but he struck again. I opened a portal and jumped in. It was no use. His robot army was there and they stuck me! I was injured badly. Luckily, I had enough juice for one more portal. (I don’t mean juice, I mean power! Ah, yes, back to the start . . .)

I woke up in a donut shop and checked my watch. It told me how much power or juice I had. I realized I had been asleep for hours and my power or juice was high. I opened the door . . . there was no way I was going in there. My brother’s army was there. I used another portal and I met my friend Curse.

The End . . . until the next story in Book Two

battles, portals & adventures

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The Lego Police Men!

By Anson, age 9 I got this Lego. It was the Lego police SUV! The Lego men drove the SUV. The Lego police have the K-dog.

Demonetized

By Jeff, age 10 So there was Fred the Carrot in a lovely neighbourhood, but there was one thing—everyone hated him. He pelted people with bananas, and he made a YouTube channel called Bill Nine the Banana Guy (not copyrighted). One day he pelted the wrong banana at the wrong person: Spongebob (dun dun dun), which made people mad, angry and (maybe?) sad.

So Fred went to upload the video but it wouldn’t upload . . . he had been demonetized! The end (or is it?) was that he went to jail for the bad things he did. But he escaped from prison. Spongebob was celebrating, but Spongebob didn’t know Fred the Carrot had escaped from jail. Why am I repeating this? Never mind. So Fred the Carrot was still planning what he wanted to do to Spongebob, dun dun dun!

JK, he went to crash his party and got arrested again.

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WRITERS’ EXCHANGE EPICS Pickle Land Party

By Beatrice, age 10

Once upon a time, magically everybody in my Writers’ Exchange stories (Pickle Band, Kaila, Kittens and Unicorn) got an invitation to Pickle Land to have a party. Kaila arrived in her spaceship with pictures of the cross for everybody. Unicorn showed up with a huge box of donuts to share. The kittens rolled in looking extra furry with lots of curry. The pickle band was already in Pickle Land ready to play and looking for requests for songs. The unicorn made a song in advance so she gave them the lyrics and they started playing!

Everybody ate the donuts, the curry and the pickles. To drink they had fruit punch. The unicorn had an idea for a game to play. It was Toss the Donut on the Unicorn Horn! If they got one on they won a prize from the prize machine. They decided to have a party every year! After every party they would split all the snacks. Kaila left on her spaceship and gave the unicorn a ride home. The kittens left with all the spoons and bowls from the curry. The pickle band stayed and started cleaning the mess up.

☞

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The Return of Bloody Donut

By Jennifer L., age 12

HAVE YOU SEEN JESSE???

HER SHE

BAKERY LAND DOUGH CO

DOUGH NOT REGRET THIS!!

FOOD GOAL

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The deep, pounding sensation echoed through a certain donut’s hollowed-out shell. How long has it been here? When was the author planning to continue? All the fans left, so what was the point? This thought was followed by a sardonic smile and a humourless laugh.

Aah what was the point in living? Once a bright dough that quickly rose in fame in OverWood, now forgotten in this cold freezer.

The walls were grey with moss overgrown, seeming to flow out of the corners of the dark room. Each crevice was covered by thick iron rods that seemed unbeatable. Mysterious stains seemed to be the only contrast as random splashes decorated the cold, harsh ground.

Twitching dough lids that once let streams of cream tears were too tired now. Ah, who cares? When no one will notice . . .

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A light . . . or a string? That small sliver of hope seemed to blossom as the light entered the blackened chamber. Like a caterpillar leaving its cocoon and spreading its wings for the first time . . . It was time to leave now.

The light seemed to glow, only illuminating the thoughtful expression that seemed to brighten up at every moment. Jesse was free.

Blinking, Jesse took in the surroundings. Was this actually the Dream Dimension?

“One by one . . .” Jesse turned around. “They were told not to play with Fabric of Matter . . .”

“The what now?” Jesse thought. Where the heck was this voice coming from?

“Now what do they do? They play. They pillage. They chase. They slaughter.”

Jesse had a bad feeling.

“Everything is in chaos. The culprit, the perpetrator. In hiding . . .”

Jesse took a step back, the dreadful voice slowly taking back Jesse’s consciousness . . .

That was how Jesse ended up in the strange freezer. Now they were in the Donut Dimension. Now Jesse was strong. Now . . . Jesse would fight back. This was revenge. This was The Return.

THE RETURN OF BLOODY DONUT To be continued . . . again

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BTS of Illuminati Series

By Tony L., age 10, and Benny D., age 11 T: Nothing!

B: ???

T: Bloodios B: Do you have some?

T: No, but a bloody donut!

Bloody Donut: Coming Soon!

T: Nope B: :( T: Ok it’s official: Bloody Donut: Coming Soon Audience: . . . *That one person* Yaa— um . . . *goes quiet* B: Bru B: T? B: Are you here?

B: Did you leave the chat?

T: I guess I’m taking ovar!

B: How? T: It’s my behind the scenes!

J: Tony, I’m suing you for violating code 214 of slandering!

T: I’m currently writing in jail T: For wearing a Guy Fawkes mask!

T: Thank Jennifer . . .

T: I had Bloodios for breakfast T: Beat that, Jennifer!

(Flashback) T: Hello, Mom? T: I’m screwed T’s Mom: (Flashback is done, honey) 46

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T: Ok! B: Too much talking T, and it is my behind the scenes too!

B: T, how are you typing in jail?

T: I just escaped!

B: But you just escaped so you don’t have a phone . . .

T: This is not real life (well, it’s made by real life) and you use your

B: A vary bad picner T: A very bad grammar!

B: You too T: I better run Police: It’s the sound of the police! Woo Woo! T: Oh go– J: Arrest him!

T: Just N– *Police Tasers* J: Taser hhi– T: You pick the wrong person. Hah! T: *Ditches police* T: Meanwhile, I am running for my life from two SWAT helicopters and 5,000 police officers. We will— B: You text toooooooo much T: Ty 4 compliemanti: T: Actually, I do nothing in the behind the scenes, just think and write . . .

B: Say whaat?

J: WATCHU SAY ABOUT MEH TONY?!

continued

☞

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J: Wanna fight?!

J: Bloody Donut 2 is coming soon friends!

J: Bye T: Nope. More!

B: I bered two times T: Rick rolled:

B: agin a bad picher T: Yes certainly B: I got a Bloody donut!!

J: *Ding* T: Oh copyright— J: Popo under arrest!

T: Oh I’ma screwdagain!

B: Policeeees T: Can I have Bloodios?

Popo: No T: B: Another one

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T: Give me at least one BLOODY DOONUT! B: NO!!!!!!!!

T: Too bad. The editors are gonna have a h— T: Hard Time B: Lol >:) T: Let me call Mom Tele: phone Tele: Hello, Mom? T’s Mom: Not again!!!

T’s Mom: I was enjoying a bloody donut and a Bloodios and waiting for bloody donuts to be release— Popo: You’re unda arrest! 4 copyright!

Later . . .

T and T’s Mom: We are both screwed.

J: Hah! T: *Throws brick* T: Oh shut it!

B: LOL T: LOL! The End (NOT) Directed by Michael Bay Edited by the unknown world Thanks to Tony, Benny and Jennifer for being Tony, Benny and Jennifer T: Now Reada Mah Illuminati Series! It’s the greatest T: We are not sponsored by the Amazing Snowman Editors of that movie: Aww B: . . .

T: It’s the greatest copyrighted shoooooooow!

The End (4 reel)

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Fortnite

By Jack, age 9 This is Part Two from our last story. Recap of Part One: When Pennywise caused a black hole that destroyed every universe, the black hole sent away everyone who was alive and all the zombies that were still there.

They were sent into the world of Fortnite.

At first one of the guys said, “Ready up.” He heard another guy playing Clash of Clans. The other person who heard Clash of Clans said, “Stop playing the worst game in the world.” So he stopped playing Clash of Clans and said, “What do you want? I’m playing the best game in the world.” The other guy said, “It’s not the best game in the world. It sucks! Well anyways, ready up now.”

“Ok, ok, I will.”

Five hours later . . .

“Yay, we finally got a #1 victory royale.”

“Oh look, it’s Ninja. Let’s go eliminate him to prove that we are better.”

10 minutes later. . .

“Yay, we finally beat him.”

They looked at the portal to see the real world open up.

“Let’s jump in.”

“Oh no, it’s a trap.”

“Oh wait, it’s not a trap. We are actually back in the real world.

First thing I’m going to do is get back to my mansion to see if it’s still there. Good thing my keys are still in my pocket. Wait a second . . . Oh no, I left them in Fortnite. Well, I guess I will buy some new ones.“ “Look around you . . does this look like the future, where everything looks high tech?”

To be continued . . .

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The Illuminati Series: The Final Reckoning

By Tony L., age 10 Previously . . . (in two words) Mike and Jack: Oh no.

Now . . .

Illuminati: We have to do this, this, that, that and this. Westlake is what we must destroy!

Whole Army of Illuminati: This, that, yes, Illuminati.

Back . . .

Mike and Jack: Oh god.

Mike: We won’t be able to stop them without memes. Err . . .

Jack: No, just no.

Mike: Um, I mean, our townspeople!

Jack: Yeah!

Meanwhile . . .

*Head Palm* (credit to Star Trek) Tony: STOP WITH THA MEMES ALREADY!!!

Narrator: Ok. Illuminati: Get ready for the BIGGEST WAR EVER!!!

Mike and Jack: . . . just panic.

We will return after Mike and Jack stop panicking . . .

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*Insert Copyrighted Music* FBI: FBI Open Up! Tony: Um, bye!

Narrator: No plza no!

Tony: Hope to see you in jail with no Bloodios, ha ha!

Narrator: . . . NO! PLZ A NO! Tony: Now, back to our story. (Sorry for the memes.)

Back to where we are!

Mike and Jack: What shall we do?

Mike: Mentos and Diet Coke. Don’t forget Mint Flavour!

Jack: . . . No . . .

Mike: OK. :( Yet I WANT MENTOS AND A DIET COKE! Jack: Let’s eat a Filet-O-Burger!

Meanwhile . . .

A person: I will have two number nines, a large number nine extra dip, number 45 and a . . . dingadoolabingahoopla. Hoopla!

Staff: *Throws brick* Mike and Jack: Let’s go back home.

Meanwhile . . .

Illuminati: Just one more day till we attack!

Jennifer: Free Bloodios.

Illuminati Troops: Yay! Right now . . .

Mike: Want a Bloodios and Bloody Donuts!

(Sponsored) (Warning: Do not attempt to combine Bloodios with Bloody Donut or else . . . ) (Jennifer is not responsible) TV: Hey Mike and Jack, you know IMA GONNA FIND YOU AND GET DOMINATION! Mike: Gulp.

Jack: How?

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TV: START TO KNOW! Mike: What are we gonna do?

Jack: We might have to fight country with tech!

Mike: Oh, it’s on . . .

Mike: We are just two children. What are we gonna do?

Jack: Oh I get it, it is on!

Meanwhile . . .

Jack’s Mom: Let’s go to the TV and Appliances before we leave West Bank Shopping Centre!

Jack’s Mom: Oh no.

The End? (Sorry I had to cut it short due to not enough production time) (error: 404 not enough ideas and see you next year)

Coming Late Fall 2019 A new series coming in summer!

Hi

By Legend, age 13 Hi again . . .

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AUTOGRAPHS

A big thanks to these 48 wonderful volunteer mentors who helped the kids during the fall 2018 after-school programs at the Writers’ Exchange: Adam, Alberto, Alex, Alexandra, Alyssa, Bern, Carla, Cazzy, Charlotte, Christina, Daphnee, DF, Diana, Dom, Eli, Erin, Evan, Farrah, Genevieve, Helen, Ismail, Jane, Jeff, Jereco, Joey, Kandice, Karen, Karla, Katrina, Landon, Liliana, Maren, Mary Jo, Matt, Megan, Melissa, Mem, Michael, Michelle, Molly, Morgan, Nhea, Noel, Sabrina, Sara, Selina, Stacey and Tara