but OLDER ‘GOAL-DEN’!

by Markos Tzouroudis

Prior the 2023 rendition of the seniors vs. teacher football match, who would have thought that the older teachers were going to humiliate the “super team” of grade 12 with the likes of Zahran, Guglielmo, Davide, Vittoria and Federico? After last year’s surprising defeat to the “golden oldies”, this year the seniors were determined and focused. Everyone knew that it was impossible for the teachers to duplicate their feat against the grade 12, not only because of the age difference but because this year’s team was so capable on the pitch. However, grade 12 was soon to discover that everything was about to go terribly wrong for them, very soon.

After a long anticipated whistle by this year’s unbiased referee Tzouroudis (who by the way managed to settle down the high tones and make accurate calls under extreme pressure), the game was under way. But there was a last minute academic issue! Field generals Straniero and Scaglione, as well as keeper Rovere, were all unable to play! Stuck in the science lab due IB deadlines, one had to wonder: a teachers’ gambit? Still, the seniors had plenty of firepower left on the pitch and there was no excuse for their shambling performance.

The game was equal at the beginning with the teachers only having a one goal advantage and although the students were attacking well, the greying-yet-spirited keeper Mr. Krasner was saying “no” to all shots on goal. Things for the students couldn’t get any worse, could they? Well, at approximately the 20th minute, the seniors substitute keeper Sborzi collided with a teammate and suffered a jammed finger. After this mishap, the seniors weren’t the same. It was teacher terror from then on.

The teachers went on to score 3 goals before halftime, putting the score at 4-0 at the break. Mr. Krasner was serving another shutout and the seniors’ mood was dismal. After careful consideration, the teachers side agreed to let the seniors play with an extra female player. It wasn’t enough. The teachers’ offense was an oiled machine, scoring another 3 goals and upping the difference to 7-0. Only a late goal from Zahran managed to grab a consolidation for the seniors, avoiding the shutout and making their defeat a bit less painful. Teachers 7, seniors 1.

After the final whistle, the “man of the match” award was presented to the teachers’ captain, Mr. Krasner, his second impressive goal keeping exhibition in a row, proving to everyone that age is just a number on a document. Or in this case, on the back of a jersey. Can anyone stop this juggernaut? Up to you, next year’s seniors…

by Michele Dolgetta