Four Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

BY JANET HOWARD

When it comes to relationships, most people struggle with poor communication. Even if you're a couple who is constantly talking to each other and making sure your relationship is going well, there are times when things can feel a little strained. Everyone has different needs and expectations for their relationships, which means that no two relationships are alike. However, that doesn't have to mean that your relationship can't be better. Here are four ways you can improve communication in your relationship.

Think Before Speaking

Learn to evaluate your thoughts before voicing them. Many arguments start because one partner makes a comment out of sarcasm or in jest, and the other views it from a different perspective. You may consider your sarcasm or sense of humor a part of your charm, which may be very well; however, sarcasm and jokes may be viewed as insulting or demeaning. Everyone has different personalities, no matter how compatible you and your partner are. A comment that is viewed as humorous by one person can be seen as hurtful by another. Try to anticipate how your remark might be received and then reframe it in a way that won't be offensive.

Be Honest and Specific

Problems in relationships often occur because people fail to be honest and specific in their communication. People may not be completely honest, not because they want to deceive their partner, but because they want to avoid confrontation and hurt feelings. However, you cannot expect someone to understand how you feel if you are not completely honest about your feelings. You cannot expect your significant other to read your mind.

So talk to each other openly, honestly, and often. It's also important to be specific in your requests. For instance, if you asked your significant other to fix the broken kitchen drawer months ago and it's still broken, you may feel as if your partner doesn't listen or is ignoring you. However, your partner may respond that they forgot about the drawer or will get to it. The next time you make a request, try being more specific. For example, say, " I would really appreciate it if you would fix the broken drawer in the kitchen. Could you do it this weekend, please?"

You are providing a timeline and showing appreciation in your request. If your partner commits to the timeline, hold them accountable to the commitment, and hold yourself to the same standards.

Squash Arguments Before They Escalate

Many arguments are over simple things and can be avoided. If you find yourself arguing with your partner over something trivial, take a breath, stay calm, and suggest to your partner that you talk it out. Sit down and calmly discuss the disagreement and work toward an amicable solution. If your partner doesn't want to talk, refuse to argue any further. Give your partner time and space to calm down and then try to approach the topic in a reasonable discussion. Consider making it a house rule to always talk things out rather than argue. People often get angry unnecessarily and forget what the argument began over anyway. It wasn't an important issue if you can't remember what started the argument.

Be a Good Listener

Most people are quick to speak but slow to listen. Have you ever been in a gathering where a several people are talking at the same time, even talking over each other in an attempt to be heard? Did you notice that although everyone is talking, it seems like no one is listening? People are often so eager to express their thoughts and opinions that they forget to listen. This happens in relationships, also.

continued on page 22

855-768-8845