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Waiting For What? Appreciate Life and Live for a Living

BY JAMAL JIVANJEE

Imagine that you’ve been feeling a bit off for the past few months. So, you decide to make an appointment with the doctor just to cover your bases and make sure everything is kosher. One appointment turns into two, and then a referral. You answer all the questions and take the tests they order for you. A couple of weeks later, the phone rings: “You need to come in right away.” As you sit down and face the physician who is sitting comfortably behind the desk, the words “I’m so sorry” and “… about six months” are all that echo in the chasm of your being. “This has to be a mistake. I still have five years until I can retire. I’ve done my time. I’ve worked hard. We’ve been saving everything we can to be able to relax and travel to all the places we’ve always said we wanted to go. I just need ten more years at the least. Five to finish out my career, and the other five to enjoy the decades of hard work. I’ve been waiting for this season of life where I can finally live. What do you mean only six more months?” By this point, you are probably realizing that you haven’t been present enough in life to be the parent or spouse that you truly desired to be. As a parent, you’ve been saving the creating of memories for the upcoming vacations. As a spouse, you figured you would have time in retirement, when you’d be able to be together without any distractions. That’s why you sacrificed so much of your life over the years. You just need a few more years to make it all worthwhile. If you would have known your life would be over in six months, you would never have agreed to postpone your life to the future. How can you get the years back? For far too many of us, a brief awareness of our mortality or a brush with death, is the only time when we consider the rareness and tremendous value of everyday life. The more rare something is, the greater the perception of its value. Of all the living beings on this planet, human beings possess something that no other being has; conscious awareness of our own impending death. It is for this very reason that humans have the ability to be conscious of the rarity and value of this thing that we call life. It is only when we value something that we treat it with utmost care and precision. Most of us, however, only give mental assent to our mortality. As a result, we live life as if our death was not a present tense possibility. If you had six months to live, how would your day today change? How much time and energy would you spend on drama and arguing with others? Would you slow down and enjoy your meals and engage in meaningful conversations with your loved ones? Would you worry about the future less? Would you take that trip you’ve always wanted to take, and would you put the phone down a bit more? How about your work? Would you quit your job feeling that it is a waste of your valuable and limited time, or would you work even more diligently and with more focus knowing there is something of value the world needs you to leave behind? I think you already know the answers to those questions. If there is one thing that I am passionate about, it is living. I am passionate about helping people live for a living, not simply for survival. There is nothing better than a life well lived to its full potential. In order to do this, I am convinced that we cannot wait any longer to live. We cannot wait for retirement, for heaven, for the weekend, or for the vacation. Living must begin today because we are not guaranteed that we have six months left to live. As a matter of fact, no one is guaranteed that they have the rest of the day. What is guaranteed, however, is that you have this moment. Learning to live in alignment and harmony with this moment is an inside job that the majority of people on this planet have not learned how to do. My wish and blessing for you is that you will learn the art of living for a living. l Jamal Jivanjee is an Amazon best-selling author, podcaster, and full-time life coach. His latest book is Living for a Living.

How to Escape Abusive Relationships: Helpful Tips

BY MARY CAMPBELL

If you're in an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do. You may feel like you're trapped and don't have anywhere to turn. The good news is that there are resources available to help you escape an abusive relationship. This guide will provide you with information on how to identify abuse, find help, and protect yourself from future abuse.

Signs of Abuse The first step in escaping an abusive relationship is to recognize the signs of abuse. Many people stay in abusive relationships because they don't realize that what they're experiencing is abuse. Let's take a closer look at some signs you may be in an abusive relationship.

Sign #1: Your Partner is Excessively Jealous or Possessive One of the most common signs of an abusive relationship is jealousy or possessiveness on the part of your partner. If your partner is constantly asking you who you're talking to or where you're going, this is a red flag. Your partner may also try to control who you see and what you do. For example, they may tell you that you can't go out with your friends or insist that you work late every night.

Sign #2: Your Partner Uses Verbal Abuse Another sign of an abusive relationship is verbal abuse. This can include namecalling, put-downs, and berating comments. Your partner may also yell at you or threaten violence. If your partner regularly uses verbal abuse, this is a serious problem.

Sign #3: Your Partner Uses Physical Abuse Physical abuse is another sign of an abusive relationship. This can include hitting, kicking, or pushing. Your partner may also throw things at you or use a weapon to threaten you. If your partner physically abuses you, it's important to get help immediately.

Sign #4: Your Partner Isolates You from Friends and Family One of the most dangerous signs of an abusive relationship is isolation. Your partner may try to keep you away from

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friends and family members. They may do this by telling you that they don't like them or that they're bad for you. If your partner isolates you, it's important to reach out to trusted friends and family members for support.

3 Ways to Escape an Abusive Relationship If you're in an abusive relationship, it's important to know that there is help available. Here are three ways to escape an abusive relationship: Method #1: Get Help from a Domestic Violence Shelter If you're in an abusive relationship, one of the best things you can do is get help from a domestic violence shelter. These shelters provide safe places for victims of domestic violence to stay. They also offer support and resources to help people escape abusive relationships. Many domestic violence shelters also have 24-hour hotlines that you can call for help.

Method #2: Reach Out to a Friend or Family Member If you're in an abusive relationship, another way to get help is to reach out to a friend or family member. These people can provide you with support and resources. They may also be able to help you escape the abusive situation.

Method #3: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline If you're in an abusive relationship, you can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (800799-7233). This hotline provides 24/7 support for victims of domestic violence. Operators can help you find resources in your area, such as shelters and support groups.

The Bottom Line If you're in an abusive relationship, it's important to get help immediately. This guide provides information on how to identify abuse, find help, and protect yourself from future abuse. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please reach out for help. are often separated from family and friends, and may not understand the laws of the United States. For these reasons, immigrants are often afraid to report acts of domestic violence to the police or to seek other forms of assistance. Such fear causes many immigrants to remain in abusive relationships. Immigrants in the US. have the right to live a life free of abuse. Due to the victim’s immigration status, abusive partners have additional ways to exert power and control over their victims. If you are an immigrant or refugee in an abusive relationship, you may face unique issues that make it hard to reach out for help. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) is a landmark piece of legislation seeking to improve criminal legal, and community-based responses to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking in the United States. This federal law provides numerous forms of protection for noncitizen women—and men—who are the victims of domestic violence or other qualifying crimes. There are three forms of protection: “U” visas for victims of crime, “T” visas for victims of severe forms of trafficking, and “self-petitions” under the VAWA.

Legal Assistance Any victim of domestic violence — regardless of immigration or citizenship status — can seek help. An immigrant victim of domestic violence may also be eligible for immigration-related protections. If you are experiencing domestic violence in your home, you are not alone. A specialized immigration attorney should always be your first point of contact regarding immigration questions and concerns. You can also listen to Ask the Lawyer Radio Program on WVIP 93.5FM on Thursdays, 10pm-11pm, and Sundays, 11pm to 12am. The program provides excellent information and an opportunity for a confidential, legal consultation. The number to call is 855-7688845. You can also visit www.askthelawyer.us Domestic violence is against the law regardless of one’s immigration status. Be a loving family member, good friend, and caring neighbor: please share this information.l

How to Have a Stress-Free Morning

BY CHRIS TOBIAS

Life is stressful as it is. For many immigrants, the stress is ten-fold. Immigration has been a hot-button, politized topic for the past few years. And, with the recent Trump administration demonizing and terrorizing immigrants, all immigrants have felt the stress, especially undocumented immigrants. Immigrants come to the United States for many reasons beyond economics. Many are fleeing violence, corruption, crime, political and religious persecution, and war. Of course, moving to a new country where one must adjust to the language, and traditions, for example, would stress anyone out, even legally. Imagine the undocumented immigrant. Immigration-related stressors can increase suicidal concepts and risk due to the distress associated with cultural stress, social marginalization, intergenerational conflicts, PTSD, and other psychological disorders. One way to ease your stress is by starting your day as right as possible. This article provides some suggestions. Starting the morning under pressure sets the mood for the day, leaving you anxious and tense. Although people know it's unhelpful to begin the day bogged down by tension, they continue regardless. But they can end the morning feeling terrific with a few simple tweaks. Morning stress comes from many sources. Identifying triggers will help you change and inject positivity into each day. When you are stressed, note what is happening. Maybe you're anxious because you need to hurry, or you're worried about things you need to do. Or you may find distractions hard to handle and are disorganized. When you recognize what stresses you, you can make positive lifestyle changes. They might involve altering your morning routine to match your schedule and planning how best to approach the day.

Adapt your schedule Most people engage in a strict schedule in the morning. If completing one task takes longer than expected, they have insufficient time for another. Poor time management creates frustration and stress. Steal back lost time in the morning by doing as many tasks as possible in the evenings. Make packed lunches for the next day before you go to bed, for instance, and lay out your work clothes in advance. Gather anything you need to take when you leave the house in the morning, too.

Create less stress If stressful chores need doing before work, carry them out differently. Rather than dashing to the shop, order online and opt for home deliveries. If morning house cleaning stresses you, consider hiring a cleaner for a few hours a week. Family members could do more chores, too, if you delegate. Also, you can put off unimportant tasks when you're under pressure.

Get organized One key to a stress-free morning is organization. Identify what you must do at the start of the day, and you won't dither and waste time. If you face multiple tasks, list priorities before you begin them.

Enjoy me-time Get up 15 minutes earlier than usual and enjoy some precious time with yourself. You'll have time to gather your wits, meditate, journal about your feelings, or take longer in the shower. Your morning mindset creates ripples that infect the hours to follow, and a few minutes more first thing could be all you need to instill calm.

Remember Your mornings will be stress-free if you rise earlier and plan what you need to do. Use time well and create calmness rather than getting strung out and frazzled. l

Charms and Challenges of Ethnic Communities Made Plain on Our Plates

BY MARK HEDIN ETHNIC MEDIA SERVICES

America’s economic success is built on the world’s best and brightest coming to our shores bringing ingenuity, creativity, and determination. From Wall Street to Main Street, businesses started by immigrants have helped the U.S. economy enormously. Whatever our differences, we all have to eat. In the United States, where we can choose foods from all over the world, ethnic cuisine has become American as apple pie. Journalists and chefs explored how the U.S. has welcomed and changed diverse eating traditions, and why, at a press briefing hosted July 1 by Ethnic Media Services and John Rudolph, of Feet in Two Worlds. The speakers described the powerful connections that come from the heritage, sharing and innovations ethnic and immigrant communities have provided our expanding “food ways.” They also noted positive and problematic aspects in their adoption into America’s capitalist society. Besides providing new twists and wider appreciation, the dominant culture also appropriates and dilutes what ethnic communities introduce.

Culture begins with cuisine Quincy Surasmith, an editor at Feet in Two Worlds, and host of the podcast Asian Americana described his work sorting out the differences between “traditional” and “authentic” Asian American dishes, from chop suey to Korean barbecue, fortune cookies, adobo, Indian curry pizza, California rolls, tofu tater tots and more. “Things change and shift here because of cultural influence and what is available,” Surasmith said. “It’s all authentic. Authentic is different than traditional.” “It’s authentic to a different set of cooks, different set of restaurants, different regions. And these get to grow and evolve in the U.S.,” Surasmith said. He cited the Boiling Crab restaurant chain borne of Vietnamese American communities on the Gulf Coast, to Korean barbecue styles developed in Los Angeles and more. “I want to encourage people to think about food as signposts to all the intersecting roads it’s crossed, the specificity of the region or people, whether in the U.S. or where their families or they themselves are from.” “I used to be very against fusion cuisine, until I realized that most cuisines ARE fusion,” said food and travel writer Kayla Stewart, native of the “rich and complex” American South. “African American cuisine in many ways is a mixing of indigenous food and traditions. Black, African, West African food and traditions and of course even European,” she said. “You see this particularly in New Orleans,” she laughed, admitting to a particular affection for the cuisine of that melting pot Southern city from which “jambalaya” and “gumbo” have become

Nationally acclaimed Mexican chef and a self-proclaimed “Chingona,” Chef Silvana Salcido Esparza has dedicated her culinary career to the forward movement and promotion of Mexican cuisine and culture. Photo courtesy: Ethnic Media Services.

English-language synonyms for a healthy mix of anything. There, she said, the mix of ingredients, food and traditions draw from Black, African, West African, indigenous and European influences, including traditions brought from Africa such as sweet potato pie, okra and black-eyed peas. “So many times in my work,” Stewart said, “people assume that African American food is macaroni and cheese, collard greens and fried chicken.” “While those are wonderful, wonderful meals and absolutely part of our food ways,” she said, they’ve also been used to insult, stereotype and minimize Black contributions to American cuisine. “For so long, black Americans and black culinary figures have been left out of the narrative of American food. It’s blatantly unfair, but it also impacts economics.” “Food can be such a joyful and wonderful thing, but it also is an opportunity to talk about the very real issues – history, and politics, and race, and gender, and women’s rights – that have existed in our country since its founding and continue to exist.”

‘An endless source of inspiration’ Silvana Salcido Esparza, raised in bakeries in “the cornucopia of the world,” California’s San Joaquin Valley, described a lifetime of lessons learned on the way to her wide renown for her Mexican fare and innovative Arizona establishments – renown that includes repeated recognition from the prestigious James Beard awards. “There is a lot of politics in food,” she said. “I don’t do food for me. One thing they say in my culture is: They want the taco but didn’t want the taco maker.”l

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