Why You Should Avoid a Rebound Relationship

BY MARY CAMPBELL

One of the best things in life is coming home to the person you love after a difficult day. You can share everything with them: They've seen you at your best and worst and know exactly how to cheer you up and make you feel better. They just get you, and everything is perfect — until it isn't. While no relationships can escape the ups and downs of life, if there are more downs than ups, it may be time to move on. Some people can walk away from years of marriage or relationship and instantly feel relieved and unburdened. It's like life is starting anew. For others, the end of a relationship brings on intense emotional trauma that lingers for months and even years. People react differently to relationships ending. When a relationship ends you may feel many emotions such as anger, hurt and loneliness. You may feel needy and vulnerable. Such vulnerability may lead you to jump into another relationship before you have given yourself time to heal. Although the new relationship may work out just fine, the odds are that it probably won't. These quick fix relationships are known as rebound relationships. Here are a few reasons why you should avoid a rebound relationship.

You Need Time to Heal You need time to heal before entering into a new relationship. Just as the body needs time to heal from a physical injury, the mind and emotions need time to heal from the injury of a breakup or divorce. Jumping into a new relationship too quickly can be like putting a bandage on a broken bone. People often enter into a new relationship because they are hurting and the new person makes them feel better. When you enter a relationship for this reason, you are not being honest with yourself and you are being unfair to the new partner.

Filling the Void People often enter new relationships knowing that they are not over their expartner. They sometimes get involved with someone who has similar characteristics or is similar in appearance to their ex. This is a clear indication that they are not over their ex and are simply trying to fill the void left by the breakup. This type of relationship is likely to fail, especially if the new partner notices the similarities or if you are constantly making comparisons between your new partner and your ex. It will become apparent that the new partner is only a replacement for the old one.

Winning the Competition Although it seems quite immature, one partner may enter a new relationship simply to beat the other one. In this case, a person may become involved with the first person who shows interest in them. They want to make their ex envious by showing them that they already have someone new. A person may also do this to make the ex jealous in the hopes that they will return to them. If it works, the new relationship may be tossed aside in favor of the previous one. This is one of the worst reasons for entering into a rebound relationship. It is the manipulation of the new partner and the ex.

Distraction People who aren't over their ex may get involved with someone new as a distraction. They simply want to get their mind off of their ex-partner. They usually aren't serious about the new relationship and are uncertain of what they actually want. They may just want reassurance that they are still desirable. These people usually haven't learned from their past mistakes and will fall back into the same patterns with their new relationships, and may experience another breakup. If you're just looking for a distraction after the dissolution of a relationship, seek a hobby instead of another relationship.

Conclusion If your relationship has just ended, think twice before jumping into another one. Be fair to yourself and any potential partner. Relationships should be valued and should never be used to fill a gap, or to manipulate your ex. Give yourself time to heal mentally and emotionally. Once you are healed and ready for a new relationship, then you can enter it with a fresh perspective and a renewed commitment to give it your full attention.l

NOTICE OF DIVORCE

SUPREME COURT OF THE STATE OF NEW YORK, COUNTY OF KINGS, INDEX NO. 51230/2019 – Date Purchased: March 12, 2019 – SUMMONS WITH NOTICE – Plaintiff designates Kings County as the place of trial – Basis of Venue: Plaintiff’s Residence –PETRACH LYNDONA ANDERSON against WINSTON GEORGE POWELL – ACTION FOR DIVORCE - To the above named Defendant, YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED to serve a notice of appearance on Plaintiff’s attorneys within thirty (30) days after the service of this summons is complete and in the case of your failure to appear, judgment will be taken against you by default for the relief demanded in the notice set forth below. Dated: March 11, 2019, Brooklyn, New York. Law Offices of FIGEROUX & ASSOCIATES, 26 Court Street, Suite 701, Brooklyn, New York 11242.

NOTICE: The nature of this action is to dissolve the marriage between the parties on the grounds of: irretrievable breakdown of the relationship for at least six months pursuant to DRL §170(7). The relief sought is a judgment of absolute divorce in favor of the plaintiff dissolving the marriage between the parties in this action.

NOTICE OF ENTRY OF AUTOMATIC ORDERS. Pursuant to DRL §236(b)(2), the parties are bound by certain automatic orders which shall remain in full force and effect during the pendency of the action. For further details you should contact the Clerk of the Matrimonial Part, Supreme Court, 360 Adams Street, Brooklyn, New York 11201 Tel.: (347) 296-1714.

NOTICE CONCERNING CONTINUATION OF HEALTHCARE COVERAGE (DRL §255). Please be advised that once the judgment of divorce is signed in this action, both parties must be aware that he or she will no longer be covered by the other party’s health insurance plan and that each party shall be responsible for his or her own health insurance coverage, and may be entitled to purchase health insurance on his or her own through a COBRA option, if available.

NOTICE OF GUIDELINE MAINTENANCE. Pursuant to DRL §236(B)(5-a), there is an obligation to award the guideline amount of maintenance (spousal support) on income up to $175,000 to be paid by the higher income spouse to the lower income spouse after the divorce is final according to a formula, unless the parties agree otherwise or waive this right.