6 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN GOING TO REHAB

by Stan Popovich

It can be scary when attending an addiction facility for the first time to overcome your addictions and other mental health issues. Many people may wonder what they should and should not do when they attend these places. As a result, here are six suggestions on how to get the most from going to rehab.

1. Follow the rules: The most important thing a person should do is to follow the rules when entering rehab. Focus your energies on getting better and don’t do anything that could get you into trouble. Your main goal should be to find the answers to help manage your addictions.

2. Listen to the professionals: A person who goes to rehab must follow the advice from their counselors. The counselors that you are dealing with have dealt with many people in your situation. These people are experts and following their advice will help speed up your recovery and help get your life back on track.

3. Ask questions: Going to rehab can be a new and stressful experience. Always ask questions on anything that you are not familiar with to help make your stay more pleasant. The people in rehab are there to answer your questions. There is no such thing as a dumb question so don’t feel hesitant to get the answers to your questions related to your stay and rehab experiences.

4. Be friendly with others: Do not take out your frustrations and fears out on the staff or on your fellow residents. A person going to rehab can be scared and frustrated, so it is important to find some other ways of dealing with these issues. Blaming others for your problems is not the way to go and can interfere with your recovery. Be nice to others and in turn most people will treat you with respect.

5. Go to the programs and meetings: Many of the rehab facilities offer programs in the mornings, afternoons, and at night. Make sure you attend these daily programs. The purpose of these programs is to help educate you in finding the right way of overcoming your addictions. If you decide to sleep in or decide to just skip the programs all together you could miss valuable information and delay the recovery process.

6. Write down everything: When talking to the professionals, it is impossible to remember every detail of the advice given to you. Most people forget what their counselors say after a few days. Talking to these experts can provide valuable advice on how to deal with your fears and anxieties and you don’t want to forget what you were told. If possible, find a way to write down the advice given to you by the doctors and staff. Don’t assume anything. Many people think they know what to expect when they go to rehab more than once. It is very important not to assume anything when your in rehab. Each situation is a new experience and don’t assume that your previous stays will be a repeat of the past.

How We Make Monsters

by Dr. Sharon M. Cadiz

During the height of the COVID pandemic when curfews and stringent limits on public or private gatherings defined a period of about three intense months, the neighborhood post office was a safe refuge where I went daily. Each bundle sent to a beloved family member was a double blessing because I was able to feel useful and safe, clinging to the familiarity and normalcy of the simple act of sending a post. My admiration for our mail carrier Barrett knows no bounds. He always showed up and extended himself in thoughtful and exceptional ways. I say all this so that it is clear that I value the integrity and special qualities of the workers like the one who always makes coming to his window feel like a visit with a cheerful friend. My title for this writing is not a reference to the post office or the workers. It is a marker for an experience that I had a couple of weeks ago when I entered the queue at my local post office to drop off a package. As I walked into the line, there was a little girl of about six who turned to face me staring into my eyes. She was standing near a woman on a cell phone who I presume was her mother. I attempted to smile at the child with my eyes because I was wearing a mask. After this brief exchange, she turned around toward the woman, and then a piece of paper on the floor caught her eye. Following an impulse, she bent over and innocently picked it up. Suddenly, with a roar of disapproval, the woman shouted: “What are you doing? Did anybody tell you to pick that up? Get over here. You don’t go picking things up off the floor. It’s dirty. What’s wrong with you?” The child recoiled and stood motionless as the woman went back to talking on her cell phone. In that instance, I felt that was a defining moment that may have set the events of that young child’s life in motion along a dangerous path.

Over the years, I have reported on many of these types of scenes, always with the hope that I could highlight them for greater awareness of the harm to children that exists in plain sight, which can easily plant the seeds that flower into the next child victim of abuse or the next serial killer. I am obliged to be very direct with my message on this occasion because children desperately need to be loved and safely cared for or they learn cruelty, anger, distrust and the things that make them prone to hurting others as they have been hurt; or attracting abusive people into their lives because that is what they know. The ultimate tragedy is that, like the weekly reports of people committing mass shootings, the loss of life is significant. Constant verbal beat downs; ongoing humiliation and degrading instances when children are berated, start to run up a ‘tab’ that may eventually come due for payment. Sadly, the payment may come in tragic, self-destructive lives, violence toward others; or the extinguished hopes for a safe and satisfying life.

Each instance of seeing a child ridiculed and demeaned at a bus stop; on the train; at the grocery store; or in the post office, suggests that they are in training be a part of another hapless generation of youngsters being shaped at the hands of another wounded soul who is living out their past torment through the destruction of a child’s vulnerable spirit.

It is time to “check ourselves before we wreck ourselves,” as the song says. It is time to become self-aware and recognize how we interact with children on a daily basis; under stress or within the confines of accepted family practices and parenting styles that require excessive corporal punishment and verbal assaults. Institutionalizing acts that harm and belittle, with the excuse that “we always did this,” means that we are working on developing ‘monsters.” There are no perfect parents and I can certainly accept that I have made some mistakes in my parenting that I have tried to make amends for with my grandchildren. The ugly truth is that parents are not always well supported or acknowledged for the challenges they face in raising children, so based on the fact that we can be forgiven for our mistakes as parents and because we are capable of change, I ask that we support each other; look for what we need in order to heal our past hurts, and uphold the sacred duty of childrearing with a high regard for expressing love and compassionate care that creates fewer monsters and more miraculous people. As Women’s History Month comes to a close and Spring arrives, let’s grow into a new awareness and a new tradition for the safe and healthy growth and development of our precious children.