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Promoting Positive Behaviour Training for Leaders Old & New, February 2013 Session aims 1. To explore what behaviour we expect of adults and children at group night 2. To have an increased personal understanding of what ‘pushes our buttons’ 3. To identify suitable strategies for managing the types of behaviour we do not wish to see at group night As an introduction the group played a game, in which some participants ‘acted out’ a number of behaviour types e.g. bossy, over excited, overly competitive, bored, timid and just not interested.

Behaviour In small groups participants explored the types of behaviour they wished to encourage at group night: Nice to each other Playing fair Play by the rules Make friends Not being on their phone Mixed gender Also beyond small groups Confident to take decisions and speak out Listening to each other & you Challenging & questioning Respect venue Getting involved Respect venue Open minded They went on to explore unco-operative behaviour: Distracting others Being silly Ignoring the rules Talking over others Argumentative Attention seeking Doing own thing during circle Me, me, me Disruptive behaviour: Talking over people Constantly running around

Enthusiastic Happy go lucky Creative Caring Tolerant Inquisitive Energetic individuality Not on tight reign/risk taking Sitting down Co-operation Self-managing Enthusiastic Letting each other have turns

Going out of the room Not speaking to adults/groups Touch everything and won’t stop Bossy Unwilling to drop an idea or compromise Every game is rubbish or obsessed with one game Not listening Insistence on questioning rules Can’t adapt to different levels of rules Co-operative behaviour: Supporting younger group members – inclusive Take on responsibilities e.g. running wide games Supporting leaders/getting involved in activities Sharing refreshments responsibilities Engage in quiet time Making space for people expressing themselves Self-organised snacking co-op Sharing a smaller space well Looking out for each other Helping people with difficulties Not making fun of difference & finally the types of behaviour we did not wish to encourage at group night: Precocious Sulking Clingy Reluctance One-up-manship Too chatty Timid

Strategies for encouraging co-operation Participants shared their top tips for encouraging the behaviour we wish to see at group: Review behaviour e.g. activities on listening and communication Mix with others – not just their friends Give children and young people some time with their friends Planning and preparation Asking Pioneers what they want to do Giving children and young people options Having agreed and shared groundrules Change the activity Link programme to the interests of the group Start with a ‘2 minute their time’ or craft activity that enables informal socialising Adaptable – change your plan if it is not working Snack time Don’t over fill the programme/be realistic

Opportunity for young people to suggest activities Give young people responsibilities Have an energetic start to release energy Directly address problems Use ice-breakers to bond the group and breakdown cliques Have a bank of activities that you know they love and use them Interesting programme, agreed with the group Remember to consider why children and young people come! One group of participants reflected on why they enjoyed being a Pioneer e.g. Loved camping Liked running around Enjoyed playing games Did fancy crafting Joined in discussions and debates Found out about new ideas Liked winning Singing Dancing Enjoyed drama and dressing up Climbing trees Hanging out with friends Building dens Walking through forests Exploring Wide games Having responsibilities and a job to do

Responding to inappropriate behaviour Debs shared tips for responding to inappropriate behaviour: Separate the child from the behaviour: “I welcome you, but I will not accept this behaviour”. Use ‘I’ messages” I feel upset” not “You naughty boy!” messages which accuse and put the child on the defence. Take action for self, not against the child (that may mean removing yourself from the situation if you are going to ‘lose it’) Stay calm, stay separate from the behaviour by remembering not to personalise the behaviour and do not get into conflict. Act from a place of understanding by talking ‘with’ not ‘at’ the child Correct the behaviour, but not the child and do not over punish Do not break relationship with your child

Reviewing behaviour When reviewing programme, remember to review behaviour: Why is Behaviour happening?

What’s going on for the child? Who is it happening with? When is it happening? Where is it happening? What is taking place? Why the defensive response?

Helpful hints 1. Remember that a behaviour that is noticed increases ‘Thank you for putting your cup in the dishwasher’ in other words ‘Catch the child being good’ 2. Request respectfully, do not order or command 3. Be clear about expectations, write them as a group – Remember the younger members will have expectations too 4. A problem behaviour that’s ignored decreases i.e. Ignore the bad behaviour 5. Settle for less than perfection. 6. Give them choices, and say ‘You decide’, this shows you respect them and teaches responsibility. Woodcraft Folk also have a number of partnership links with support agencies e.g. National Deaf Children Society, National Autistic Society, Downs Syndrome Society, Young MINDS, SENSE

Promoting Positive Behaviour workshop TfLON