DEANA'S HEALING COLUMN

Do you feel socially isolated and if so how can I combat it?

When my son first got his diagnosis I was devastated to say the least. I always felt it was my fault and my head was all over the place. In my mind he would be classified as different from all the other kids. We would go out for dinner or lunch or just out for a walk and my dad would always talk to people and random strangers, he was always so proud of Liam and he would tell them all about his diagnosis and explained what it was all about. I would be so upset with him and tell him I didn't want people to know what was going on with Liam. While my friend’s children were starting preschool, t-ball, and creating friendships all on their own, we were doing physiotherapy, taking medications, or sitting in a doctor’s waiting room. Little did I know that I would eventually combat my isolation issues. I heeded my dad's advice, I got out there and started joining FB Groups relating to Cystic Fibrosis, making new CF Mom friends, and I started raising more awareness as my dad wanted, and needed me to do.

I also have an amazing support system and the best of friends. It truly does take a village, as I figured out. So if you have a friend whose child is in any age range, please extend your friendship, as that friend likely really needs a friend to reach out. Ask her to go for coffee, come over for lunch, or do something as simple as going for a walk together, it truly does make a huge difference, take it from me!!!

What are your day-to-day challenges with your child with special needs?

Parenting is always challenging, but the challenges reach new heights when you are parenting a child with special needs. Empathy and understanding from others is so important, so many families are faced with a lack of understanding from others when it comes to the challenges of raising a child with special needs. It might be that you can’t attend a birthday party because it is too loud, and for him. Perhaps it’s the stranger staring at you when your child has a ‘meltdown’ in the supermarket. Empathy and understanding are so important and it can make all the difference. Please remember Kindness Always Wins.

Meeting Other Parents I know can be really difficult but take it from me, been there, done that! But I really do believe that it truly does help to meet and talk to others who ‘get it’. You can’t beat advice from parents who have been there and truly understand the ups and downs of raising a child with special needs. YOU GOT THIS!!!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?

Every single day, from the doctor's appointments to the hospital stays, to the results from his tests, to when he gets sick. I feel it all the time. It's very stressful, but as they always say YOU NEED to look after YOURSELF before you can look after anyone else. Parenting can be stressful under the best of circumstances, but moms and dads of children with developmental and mental health challenges often have to deal with strains of a different magnitude. Caring for a child with special needs can become a full-time job — and an overwhelming one at that, if you don’t have adequate support. Without enough help, parents may be headed toward caregiver burnout, which negatively affects everyone.

To avoid burnout, it’s important for parents to take care of their own needs. That includes getting enough sleep, exercise and drinking enough water. Parents sometimes feel like they have to do everything by themselves, but getting help from other people is crucial. Support groups, spending time with friends and even just making time for fun activities can all help you.