She’s Got Moxie: Jacque Jennings-Carter

{ SHE’S GOT }

MEET JACQUE

JENNINGSCARTER

Rene Rodriguez, StudioOne Creative

WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE OF BUSINESS ADVICE YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED?

Never compromise your core values. Be a person of your word, personally and professionally.

WHAT IS AN ESSENTIAL PIECE OF BUSINESS ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE?

The same advice that was offered to me (above). I would also add one important thing: Do your best to tune out the “nay-sayers” as much as possible, no matter who it is.

YOU ARE SO INVOLVED IN THE COMMUNITY. WHAT INSPIRES YOU TO GIVE BACK SO FREELY?

I have always been protective of animals, people who find themselves left out, and people and animals in need. This feeling is probably due to my childhood and other personal experiences growing up. I have always loved “helping” (volunteering) and making a difference for as long as I can remember. Although still practiced, volunteerism seems to be decreasing in numbers. This decline makes me sad; volunteerism makes such a difference in many ways and on many levels for those receiving and giving. It goes both ways. I also watched each of my parents give to others, even if it meant personal sacrifice, and that was an excellent example for me. I have many “favorite” causes I give time and resources to, and I try to help as many as possible, even if they don’t fall into my “favorites” category. I typically ask myself, “If I – whether animal or human - had a need, what would I want someone to do?” The answer is almost always, “I would want someone to help.” And so I do if I can, even if it’s only a little. Something is better than nothing, which reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.” I could care less about recognition. I simply want to help make the world a better place – whether that be helping to improve our global environment, working toward significant improvements regarding animals and their treatment, or simply caring for other people. So, you can imagine how the Ukraine and Iran situations are impacting me. Probably best for me not to get started on those topics.

A long time ago, I read a quote by Marian Wright Edelman, and I adapted it for myself. My version says, “Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of being here.” Serving/giving is, and always has been, one of my guiding principles. When I joined my Rotary Club in 1987, I was thrilled to learn that one of the primary mottos for Rotary International was “Service Above Self.” It was perfect for me and has been part of my daily living ever since. Do I always “hit the mark”? No. Far from it. But I do my best to do something whenever I can, especially when it comes to giving to, caring for, and serving animals or humans. And to be clear, helping others does not mean that I need to put myself last.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

At the top of my list is being with family, animals, and friends. Anytime. Anywhere. When I had horses, that is where I was every possible moment. I still try to spend time with horses - and dogs - any time I can. They are much more to me than “just animals,” as my family knows. I am very excited that my daughter recently started riding again. We used to do it together, so I’ve decided I will start riding again.”

Because of my love for animals, in the not-toodistant-future, I plan to volunteer at the SPCA, both here and in Florida, once a few other things are “off my plate,”; so, if they need more volunteers to come and just “love” on the dogs, specifically, I’m their girl. I love tennis. I used to play a lot and still love to watch all the national and international tournaments. Since the late 70s, I have been heavily involved year-round as a volunteer for the annual USTA Boys 18s and 16s National Championships held here locally. 2023 will be our 80th year hosting. I also love to travel nationally and internationally, but my travel was on hold until earlier this year. I finally got back into more regular trips within the US. Even though I have several international locations on my travel list, international travel will be off the table for me for a while.

WHAT CAUSES ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?

The words “most important” are what trip me up. They’re all tied at #1! Of course, I could give you a list of a dozen or more because they are all important to me. Still, I think the most important causes are those which define, help, eliminate and prevent abuse of any kind, at any level, and implement stricter prosecution – significantly more than what currently exists - of those who were the perpetrators. Whether human or animal, I have no tolerance for any form or level of abuse, whether physical, emotional, mental, negligence, discrimination, or whatever. It upsets me just talking about it.

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR ADVICE FOR A WOMAN DESPERATE TO FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN HER CAREER AND LIFE?

Well, that is the $64,000 question. WLB is a vast and highly complex issue, but we must be open and realistic about our situation. Whether a woman works or not, achieving balance in life is quite challenging. It isn’t just limited to those who work outside the home. Thankfully, we are finally talking openly about it. Sadly, it has taken way too long for this to occur. This issue has existed for as long as I can remember and will continue to be an issue until several things and attitudes in our society change. On the surface, almost every woman achieves a level of WLB in order to simply survive. But deep down inside, we “know” we don’t exactly have what we want/need. We just pretend we do. It is critical for our mental health that we recognize and accept that it will probably never be what we visualize as “perfect” WLB, and that’s okay; being realistic about it will, hopefully, eliminate some of the pressure we put on ourselves. Please remember that I am not a licensed therapist. My opinions are based on what I’ve experienced personally and observed over nearly 50 years of being in the workplace, and I have learned by networking and masterminding with other working women. If anyone disagrees with any, or all, of my comments, I am perfectly fine with and respect that.

I don’t believe there is a “one size fits all” answer to WLB unless we accept a basic definition of WLB as simply monitoring how much time we spend working, how much time we spend with our family, and how much time we spend on ourselves. And when it isn’t what we want, we magically “fix” it. That’s great in theory, but where we, as women, get tripped up is implementing and achieving it because, let’s be honest - there is always so much on our “plate.” And we keep adding more even when we already know our plate is full. Knowing the definition and executing it successfully are two very different things. WLB isn’t easy to accomplish because there are so many variables, many out of our direct control. For those who work for someone else, it will depend on how our company and our boss value WLB and the organization’s overall culture as it relates to WLB. Some companies/organizations do a great job and have intentionally made improvements to help both men and women have better WLB, but most companies do not. Frankly, I find that inexcusable in the year 2022. Thankfully, the last 2+ years have helped bring about more positive change for both men and women. But we must be diligent in moving forward in this regard and not regress as has recently happened with some issues. The ability to achieve WLB depends on different factors: where we are in our career, who we work for, who our boss is, and what is happening in our personal life, to name a few. A key component is also what kind of support system we have. Having support is so important. Unfortunately, some women have little to none. Sometimes, an acceptable level of WLB just isn’t in the cards at certain times for some of us. But we can manage it, so we are more in balance than out of balance, and therein lies one of the keys: that we are managing it instead of it managing us so that we can at least achieve a tolerable level of WLB. But even that is difficult sometimes. So it’s essential to give ourselves a break and be more understanding with ourselves and others. It’s also important that we recognize and accept that there will be times when we are out of balance and, due to the circumstances at the time, finding balance the way we prefer may not be possible. For some, it may stay that way for a long time. The most important thing is that we do our best not to feel guilty about it. And not let others make us feel guilty about it, either. I am not sure which is worse – being out of balance or the guilt we pile on ourselves because we can’t “do it all.” That out-of-balance season in our life may last quite a while, no matter how hard we try or how much we want our WLB to be

“Self-care is different. Sometimes things are just the way they are. If that is such an essential the case, it is imperative not to element of WLB”. be upset at, or disappointed in, ourselves when that occurs - because it will probably occur. To help us be more balanced, I highly recommend that we learn a short but essential, two-letter word to say to others whenever possible. Say “n-o” more often, even when we want to say “yes.” And say “yes” more often to ourselves. Whether the situation calls for a “yes” or a “no,” the key is learning when we can say whichever word is appropriate at the time and when we cannot. We are the ones who will need to put it in perspective. No one can do it for us, although a professional therapist, which I highly recommend, can help us put everything in perspective. Putting things in perspective is also where our “inner circle” can help. Talk with them. Just keep in mind that when we say “yes” to others – no matter how much we love them or the task/ project/cause - it often means we have to say “no” to ourselves on something else, and often it is our self-care that we postpone. If we can keep that thought in our mind, it can help us take more time to think about it when we become faced with that choice. It would be nice to be able to “do it all,” but none of us can – at least not regularly. WLB also depends on many other things. Is the person single with no children? Is the person married without children and has a supportive and helpful spouse? Is the person married with several children whose spouse does not lend a hand or is not supportive? The list goes on and on. The more factors to consider, the more challenging it is to have the WLB we all desire. If we can’t have as much balance for whatever reason, and that will probably occur many times for each of us, it is essential to include as much self-care as possible: a massage, a spa day, a long walk, lunch, or a phone call

with a friend. And, if we need to do something like a massage but it isn’t in the budget – and it often isn’t for many - consider borrowing the money, if necessary. Ask for one as a gift or trade business services. Sell something. Do whatever is needed because we matter, and self-care is vital to our mental health! But if we are limited on time already, how do we fit in a massage, etc.? Again, limited time is a perfect reason to say “no” to something else and say “yes” to ourselves. Self-care is such an essential element of WLB. Those with a healthy level of WLB are very blessed, but it didn’t occur by accident. It was intentional, and it didn’t happen overnight. I recently read a great article from DailyOM (www.today@dailyom.com) entitled, “Making Choices from a Place of Balance.” One of the statements was, “It is important to make decisions from a place of balance, by taking a breath and checking in with the heart and mind.” If you want to read this article, please visit the website, or email me at Jacque@ AdvancingLives.biz with the subject, Moxie Article – DailyOM, and I will email it. Realistic WLB is always the goal. As women, it’s a goal we’re always working toward. It’s important to recognize and accept that sometimes we’ll have it, and sometimes we won’t. When we don’t have it, we don’t need to be embarrassed or feel guilty – easier said than done. The most challenging part is what we all need to do at some point: Ask for help. Asking for and receiving help, even professional help, is not a sign of weakness, inadequacy, or failure on our part. Instead, it shows that we should strive to be our best selves and lift up those who need a little “boost” to get there. Simply put, we need help at that point, and there is no shame in asking for it. Much of what I’ve said has been relative to being under someone else’s employ. If we are self-employed full-time, own a small business, or have a second job, that changes things quite a bit and adds another layer – and sometimes multiple layers - of additional challenges for achieving WLB. But what it doesn’t change is the need for, and the importance of, self-care.

IF WE TURNED BACK TIME AND YOU HAD TO START YOUR CAREER FROM SCRATCH, WHAT WOULD BE THE ONE THING YOU’D DO DIFFERENTLY? WHAT WOULD BE THE ONE THING YOU WOULD DO THE SAME?

Never compromise your core values. Be a person of your word, personally and professionally.

Knowing what I know now, I would have pursued several health specialty certifications. The challenge is that even though that is what I would like to have done, there would have been two significant obstacles even if I could “turn back time.” First, I was a female, a roadblock to many careers back in the late ’60s and early 70’s when I started my career. Second, the acceptance of alternative/ holistic health practices was minimal; even massage and chiropractic care – which I highly recommend as part of an overall wellness plan – were not well accepted in the medical community. But those who know me know that I am quite a persistent person and would have figured out something. Thankfully, things have improved over the past 20 + years but fall short of where they should be. Those who remain uninformed about holistic and alternative health information/protocols/treatment once introduced to it do so by choice. Same – Be intentional and determined in everything I do. Honor the advice/answer I referenced in your first and second questions.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS?

The first thing I have to say is pretty simple, but given what I see happening in our society on virtually all levels, I think it is essential to say it, basic or not. I have always believed this, but the last 2+ years have made me even more conscious of how important it is: Communication is key to everything. And I mean everything. We humans don’t, won’t, and shouldn’t always agree. No species does. But when we disagree, even in the face of deep, polarized disagreement, we need to be kind, realistic, respectful, honest, understanding, forgiving, and try to see the other person’s point of view. It’s sometimes tricky, especially when we have an emotional attachment to our thoughts and opinions, which we all do, but we can be kind. So how can we have a meaningful impact on this issue? It starts by looking in the mirror, as painful as it might be.

Second, mental health is finally being talked about openly. I am so very thankful. The levels of stress we all face, male and female, young and old, are at the highest levels it has ever been. I am not sure why we, as a society, always seem to wait until things are in a crisis state before we do something about it/take action/start talking openly about it. Still, sadly, that seems to be a repeated practice on many levels. Waiting until the last minute to act might work for infrastructure, repairs in our home or car, etc., but it doesn’t work with people. That said, please check in with and reach out to family and friends, not just during difficult times. “Be there” as much as realistically possible when those you care about are in need, or facing some personal loss or family difficulty, even if they don’t ask. Some people aren’t good at asking even when they want to. They also may not want to ask because they think you are already “too busy”; or they “don’t want to bother you.” Do the best you can to anticipate what they might need. Mentally put yourself in their situation. What would you need/want if you were in their shoes? While it may not be the same, it will at least give you a starting point for talking with them. And that can lead to some constructive and very positive things. You may think they are okay because, on the outside, they seem okay. But inside, they could be experiencing some very dark thoughts. If you are checking in on them occasionally, you may see the change and be able to tell if they are genuinely okay or need help. If you are “there” for them, even when they didn’t ask, you will eventually realize – perhaps after the fact - how important it was and how much you’re checking in on them mattered to them and was appreciated, as well as very much needed. It might have even saved their life in dire but not necessarily apparent situations.

Jessica Redmond

Meet Jessica Redmond, a wife, mom, gamer, and artist born and raised in the Mitten State. She enjoys Cyanide and Happiness, The Oatmeal, and sarcasm. Life is an adventure so Get Schwifty.