Living a Life of Reality and Wholeness in a Life of Technology

Last month, I spoke to the power of creating balance in lifebalance within our everyday activities- work, health, finances, home, career, spirituality, relationships and self/ body; as well as raising consciousness and awareness concerning where your choices and actions are stemming from. I spoke to balancing the nurturing of ourselves, while still trying to manage a family and success in a career; to Creating your balance within your self, your mind and your actions. This month, I consider the impact of technology on our lives and the balance therein.

For me, everything I speak to lends itself to knowing and having awareness and consciousness of who you are, what you stand for and living a life that stems from this. A life filled with value, purpose and meaning. Remaining real, authentic, true and present to your world- to the way you show up. Unfortunately, technology has created a real challenge and obstacle in this regard. The “masks” we are programmed to wear from a young age, in terms of not showing our emotions and not expressing how we feel, are increasing in size and frequency. We now have this “online life” and personality that, at times, can be so far removed from the truth; further disconnecting us from our reality and authenticity. How often do you show up on social media without changing state? Without putting on the fake smile and telling everyone how incredible your life is? (Or become consumed by comparing yourself to the “perfect” life of another?) Yes, there is a balance in this, however, where do we draw the line? How can we remove the falsehood of this “online reality” we created and became caught up in?

We are in a time now, where we are being asked to step up and SHOW up. We are being called and challenged in our own way, to be and own who and what we are, and to be authentic in this space of pure potential. To stop hiding behind our masks to present what we think others want of us. Why is this so challenging? FEAR. We fear criticism and judgement. We fear rejection and ridicule. We compare and compete. Yet, there is no authenticity and integrity in comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy, as is fear. How often are you driven by image and awareness of how others perceive you, and in this, how often do you lose out in the true and full experience of a moment? Fear limits us. When we remain driven and influenced by the energy of fear, we create more of what we are hiding from, and we create barriers that keep us from achieving our fullest potential.

In addition to this, “online” life is not only not real in what we present to the world; but also in the experience. Technology intends to simulate these experiences; however, they remain of a “lower resolution”. Texting or emailing someone is a simple, easy and excellent way to communicate. However, all the other senses we are born with, do not get to experience the moment. We miss the facial expressions and body language, the tonality and emotional expression, the sounds and touch that may go along with the conversation. Sometimes we even misunderstand or lose something of significance in the translation of the written message. Real life and much of the meaning and satisfaction accrued from it comes from our relationships with others. The development of our social lives is essential for our psychological and emotional well-being. Yes, social media is obviously social in nature, yet it limits the richness of human interactions, keeping relationships at a comfortable distance. Our thinking, choices, imagination and actions, as well as our truth, reality and full potential, are being limited by this beautiful, shiny box of technology we find ourselves surrounded by.

There is power in living a life of value; of value-driven behaviours and decisions. Real life is value driven, and therefore, life is to be driven in the direction we deem most important; with purpose, relevance and fulfilment. This connection between real life and our values is perhaps the most powerful disincentive for the excessive use of technology. Values, meaning, and relevance give real life its power, and most of what technology offers is devoid of it. Of course, technology has significant benefits in terms of bringing us all closer- communicating and collaborating across the globe. However, as mentioned, it creates a mediated and low-resolution approximation of what life has to offer. We just have to create that balance.

Research has discovered that we can spend an average of EIGHT hours per day consumed by technology- social media, internet, TV and the like. This has reportedly doubled over the past five years. So, this means we are “plugged in” over half of our days, potentially disconnected from our present reality - our true world around us - from conversation, nature and movement.

If you use social media, challenge yourself to remove the “mask” and show up with authenticity. BE you. Share your life if you must, but from a space of reality and real-life experiences. Don’t compare and don’t try to compete. You are perfect in your own imperfections.

Start to create more opportunities and experiences to live your life in the reality of the present, day-by-day. In an attempt to start reducing the habit of being “plugged in” for most of your day, here are some steps to even remove some of the temptations:

1. Use a real alarm clock, as this will minimise the compulsivity of checking your emails and social media as soon as you wake, and before you even get to greet the new day.

2. Follow the “no bedroom allowed” rule. This is a rule I have for my children, so why not us as adults? Imagine going to bed and setting up an evening routine devoid of your phone, social media and other technology. Using that last 30-60 minutes of your day for you… reading, journaling, practising gratitude, and even “unloading” your ideas or thoughts of your day. Doing this every night, you could give yourself 3.5 to 7 hours of “mental space” a week! (Who says they have “no time?”)

3. Commit to regular Face-to-Face contact. You may interact with people on a daily basis, but what about socially? Face-toface interaction with friends is significant, and social media is replacing this. Commit to regular (weekly to fortnightly) “dates” with close friends.

4. Call, don’t text! Adding on to the face-to-face interaction, call your family and friends; don’t just text them! If you want to connect to someone, don’t reach out through a post on social media or a message, reach for the phone and make a call.

5. Technology & web-surfing time. Some have found it useful and productive to dedicate an hour at a set time per day to allow themselves full-reign online; to watch YouTube videos, scroll through social media - whatever your heart desires. No guilt, no distraction… then after that hour, it is back to work and productivity - until the next day.

6. Block yourself. There are apps you can use that can block certain apps from your devices for designated periods of time. This way, even if you did get a little distracted by a thought or idea, you have to remain focused on what you are meant to be doing until your “block” ends. This way you don’t have to rely solely on your willpower. This is a great tip, particularly for the workplace or other moments you need to be efficient with your time.

7. Unplug! “Technology vacations” are incredibly healing and rejuvenating. You can have a set day per week, a set time each day - whatever resonates best with you - but that is a complete no-technology time. No phone or laptop (and for some, even TV!) This gives you the time to reconnect - to yourself, your family, your friends and your world (nature, the outdoors, movement and other hobby and passion you may have). QUALITY time!

Technology is here to enhance our lives. Unfortunately, some of us are experiencing a decline because of the over-use; taking away from the power and beauty of many experiences in “real” life. It is not hard to change this though - if you prioritise it. You can find a healthy balance between your online life and the reality of your “real” life; as well as remove the “masks” and show up with authenticity and integrity in both “worlds”. Try it and find yourself living a life of reality and wholeness in this lift of technology

Daniella Princi is the health and wellness expert behind “Your Intrinsic Life”. She is a professional psychologist, coach and international speaker, assisting you to reconnect and transform your life, mind, body and soul.

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