By Nikki Davis, MBA

Attractive widower, 5’11”, 175 lbs. love dogs, movies, travel. You: Looking for life partner, beautiful inside and out, happy, mature, loves life. Serious inquiries only.

Remember when ads like this permeated the personals sections of newspapers and magazines? Nowadays, it’s often your online presence and credentials that get you a date, so you’ll probably need to get past any reticence to become your own best salesperson.

Dating after 50 can be fulfilling and scary. Forty-eight percent of 18–29-year-olds have used a dating app, but that number drops significantly for the 50+ to just 16%. Today, it’s about swiping right or left on a dating app instead of flipping through want-ads, but the objective remains the same: finding companionship.

While technology may pose a challenge for older adults to enter the dating game, when used wisely it can enhance the process and open possibilities previously unthinkable. First, if you choose to go online, you can find a wide pool of prospective companions beyond the local community. Second, looking and posting can be free… depending on the site you choose. Lastly, with online dating, you can filter the non-negotiables to find matches with similar interests, world and political views, religious beliefs, and desires in life.

With the readiness to get started, take comfort knowing that 54% of Americans say that relationships that begin online are just as successful as those that begin in person.

Let’s explore how to make dating after 50 fun and safe.

OPEN UP: If you want to date, do it. Open yourself up to the idea of finding a new partner to share life experiences. Yes, it may be intimidating not being with Janet or Dave who you lost 12 years ago, but would they want you to remain alone forever? Ever wonder how celebs get so many dates? They’re visible to EVERY ONE. Sign up for a dating app, join a social group, and/or volunteer…Find the best way for you to get out there, if you don’t you proba bly won’t be found.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: Before jumping in, reflect on what you want from a relationship. Is it casual dating, or marriage? Don’t be afraid to ask questions like, “do you want to get married”? If you do and they don’t, asking early prevents months, if not years, of wasted effort and miscommunication. List your deal breakers, nice-to-haves, and “absolutes” for a relationship and stay true to yourself to mitigate golden years of misery.

DATE DIFFERENT: Did you only date blonds in the 70s? We all have types but consider dating someone who embodies the qualities and characteristics you’re looking for – not just the physical. Maybe they don’t look like Burt, Denzel, or the Pam’s (Grier or Anderson). Maybe they’re not rich but living comfortably; perhaps they enjoy country not classical music. Ask yourself how much this matters. Is their heart in the right place? Do they make you happy?

BE SAFE: The internet is rife with fraudsters and honey bunnies who will prey on your vulnerabilities. Keep yourself safe by remembering:

• Video Chat – Do they refuse to video chat? – If you hear that their video camera is always broken, there’s something up! Don’t get sucked down the rabbit hole of their dysfunction. Move on.

• Meet “Offline” – Do they give excuses why they can’t meet in person like a sick friend/family member, a car accident, or always working? If someone refuses to meet in person, they’re fake (or have issues that you don’t want to deal with). Move on.

• Meet in Neutral Locations: Don’t invite anyone to your home or workplace. Meet in a neutral location such as a coffee shop in broad daylight with others around.

• No Nudes EVER – This should go without saying but just don’t send them. Many fraudsters will blackmail you after getting the pics…and with today’s internet culture, you never know where the pics may end up.

• Don’t Be Fooled – Be aware that some photos can be fakes! Photoshop and artificial intelligence can fabricate images of gorgeous partners who are little more than fake manipulators looking to steal your heart and money.

• Don’t Send Money – This isn’t a relationship; this is a sugar momma/daddy deal. If you aren’t looking to sponsor a thief or sugar baby, don’t send money, gift cards, or expensive gifts unless you’re certain the relationship is legit and mutual. Also, do not co-sign or sign any documents without getting legal advice from a lawyer.

• Background Checks – Sounds invasive but something to consider, and plenty of services provide details on all of us. It’s better to know about a prospective love’s sketchy past now than later. If they are on the up-and-up, there’s nothing to worry about.

Think highly of yourself. Don’t be a cheap date." -- Joan A.