Wire Magazine Issue #36, 2012: Savoring Miami Spice 2012

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DISTRIBUTED EVERY THURSDAY IN MIAMI, THE BEACHES, AND FORT LAUDERDALE • THE LONGEST-RUNNING WEEKLY ON SOUTH BEACH ADVERTISE IN OUR NEW GOING OUT CALENDAR OF EVENTS ON PAGE 16

ISSUE #36 | 09/06/12

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2nd Annual LGBT Symposium on Aging All day conference will have a professional track and a consumer track featuring a broad variety of topics that will include Senior Exploitation, Financial Planning for the Future, Aging in Place, Sexuality, Domestic Violence, Current Research from UM Dept on Aging, SAGE in Dade County and many others. CEUs offered; 8 hours of Guardianship CEU approved by SPAGO and 8 hours of SW CEUs. Saturday, September 22nd at the Hyatt Regency Miami (400 SE 2nd Avenue) from 8am-5pm. Sponsored

by Treece Financial, Kaufman Rossin & Co., Northern Trust, Victim’s Response Inc. / The Lodge, Hyatt Regency Miami, & Jackson Health System. Registration ($35 for Chamber members and $55 for non-chamber members) includes lunch and morning & afternoon refreshments.

For more information visit www.gaybizmiami.com.

To register or sponsor the event please contact jorge@gaybizmiami.com or 305-673-4440.

LGBT Visitor Center Activities 1130 Washington Avenue • Miami Beach, FL 33139 10 SEPT 11 SEPT

PINK FLAMINGO HOSPITALITY DIVERSITY TRAINING Sept. 10 $25.00 per person 6:00pm – 8:00pm SMART RECOVERY Tuesday Evenings 7:00 - 9:00 p.m.

For more info contact jgerstein@hotmail.com

29 SEPT

GAY & LESBIAN WALKING TOUR Saturday, August 29, 2012 5:00pm to 6:30pm MDPL's Art Deco Welcome Center.

FREE to MDPL and MDGLCC members.

RSVP to 305-672-2014.

Tickets are $20 Art Deco Welcome Center 1001 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach FL

For more information on the LGBT Visitor Center activities or to reserve the space for YOUR event please call 305.397.8914 or email karen@gogaymiami.com 3 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

STOP BY TO PURCHASE GAY PRIDE T-SHIRTS IN ENGLISH & SPANISH! ONLY $10!

Would you like to volunteer at the Center?

Please let us know. Call 305.397.8914

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For web banner advertising – please contact karen@gogaymiami.com limited opportunities available.

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THERE’S ALWAYS FREE WIRELESS ACCESS AT THE LGBT VISITOR CENTER

EDITOR IN CHIEF’S NOTE SPICE DINING, TURNABOUT, MARILYN, AND VOTE! ummer is officially over and the tempo is picking up in Miami. There is a lot to do this week. Since many of Wire Magazine's readers love dining out, I decided to write an entire Miami Spice issue so you can take advantage of some great dining offers in some of Miami's top restaurants for dinner and lunch.

Miami Spice is available until September 30, 2012, so turn to page 8 to learn about this year's program from restaurateurs Steve Haas, architect of Miami Spice and owner of City Hall The Restaurant, and Andrew Carmellini, Executive Chef of The Dutch in the W South Beach Hotel. I also recommend five delicious places for dinner and three for lunch to help you decide where to go.

Before dinner on Wednesday you have a unique opportunity to see some rare photos of American icon Marilyn Monroe in South Beach. The first time solo museum showing of The Magic of Marilyn, a rare collection of 27 photos of Marilyn Monroe by Bruno Bernard, internationally known as “Bernard of Hollywood,” opens Wednesday, September 12, at 7 p.m. through Sunday, November 30 at Naomi Wilzig’s World Erotic Art Museum (WEAM) located at 1205 Washington Avenue.

After checking out Marilyn at WEAM, and enjoying your favorite Miami Spice dinner on Wednesday, you can head out to TWIST for their annual Turnabout. Be sure to stop by and see TWIST's hot bartenders trade in their muscles and masculinity for a pair of high heels, crazy wigs, and outlandish outfits. Everyone's favorite bartenders will perform some great songs for your viewing pleasure. The Turnabout shows have always been known to shock and awe – this year will be no exception.

I am also happy to report that after a brief summer break, the Palace kitchen is back in business and ready to serve up their full menu, paired with their usual dollop of over-the-top shows every night of the week. So stop by Palace at 1200 Ocean Drive, and enjoy such traditional crowd favorites as their burgers, wraps, salads, or kick it up a notch with their New York Strip Steak “Diane” served with a lump crab salad and hollandaise sauce. Plus, remember to stop by for Palace's full Brunchic menu on Sunday and watch your favorite drag performers strut their stuff – stop by www.youtube.com/wiremediagroup to see some videos of the shows.

Finally, the presidential campaign has now hit the final stretch, so make sure you register to vote.

October 9th is the last day to register to vote in the presidential election so you must register before the deadline to make your voice heard in November!

Cheers, Rafa Publisher & Editor in Chief rafa@wireweekly.com 4 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

Rafa Carvajal Publisher/Editor in Chief Associate Publisher Jesse Spencer Associate Editor Antwyone Ingram Design & Production Director Jose Gonzalez Senior Writer James Cubby Columnists Alfredo Barrios Alyn Darnay Dane Steele Green Ken Hunt Dr. Gregg A Pizzi Michael Sasser Kevin Wynn Writers Neil Andrew Frias Staff Photographer Henry Perez Official Photography Studio Image1stmiami.com Photographers Javi Giovanni Dale Stine Local Advertising advertising@wireweekly.com National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media | 212.242.6863 Editorial Submissions editorial@wireweekly.com Contact Information Tel: 305.520.WIRE | Fax: 786.272.0123 Email: info@wireweekly.com 1541 Brickell Avenue, #2004, Miami, FL 33129 Wire Magazine is published, produced, and owned by Wire Media Group L.L.C. All Rights Reserved Distributed in Miami, The Beaches, and Fort Lauderdale Image Credit: Copyright: Giuseppe Parisi

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KEN'S QUICK TIPS

BY KEN HUNT

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR WORKOUT - PART 2 ast week I brought you part one of my “tip sheet” with basic guidelines to make the most of your workout. Here is part two.

Compound exercises. Instead of isolating your muscles with exercises such as the bicep curl, you can maximize the time you spend in a workout by doing exercises that work out multiple muscle groups at once. With just a few exercises, you could get a full body workout. Some great compound exercises include squats, deadlifts, good mornings, lunges, pushups, bench presses, military presses, rows, pullups, dips, and more.

Balance lifting. Instead of having exercises where you’re sitting down or holding on to something or otherwise stabilized, it’s more effective to do them standing up, or on one leg, or on a Swiss exercise ball. These types of exercises force you to balance yourself while lifting, which brings your core muscles into play. This gives you a stronger overall body and allows you to lift more over time.

Pick a cardio exercise you enjoy. It’s no fun to exercise if you hate it. And you won’t keep it up for very long. Pick something that’s fun – running, walking, swimming, biking, hiking, rowing, Stairmaster, etc.

Mix it up. Don’t stick to the same workout routine for too long, or your body will adjust to the stress level and you won’t be getting an effective workout. For strength training, change your routine every few weeks. For cardio, it’s best to cross train rather than, say, to run every time.

Good form. For strength training especially, and swimming, form is very important, but it’s also important for other types of exercise. If you’re strength training, start with lighter weights so you can work on your form. It’s good to have an experienced spotter or trainer who knows good form to help you for the first month or so.

Hills. If you run, bike or walk for cardio, you’ll want to incorporate hills (after the first month or two of doing it at an easy pace on flat ground). These will make you stronger and make your limited workout time even more effective.

Circuits. One mistake that people make is to do multiple sets of the same exercise without rest between the sets. This doesn’t allow your muscles to recover and it’s a waste of your workout. But instead of doing a set, resting, and then doing your second set, it’s more effective to move on to multiple exercises in a circuit, so that you don’t rest between exercises but do rest each muscle group.

The ideal workout plan. If you take all of these tips into account, the ideal plan would be to alternate 2-3 days of high-intensity strength training with 2-3 days of high-intensity cardio. If you can follow some of these tips you can make the most out of your workouts and maximize your results.

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Model: Badara Ndiaye Photographer: Aubrey Chanfler

LOOKING GOOD

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BY RAFA CARVAJAL

very year the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau (GMCVB) Miami Spice restaurant program provide diners with a great opportunity to dine out for lunch and dinner at some of the top restaurants in Miami and the Beaches. This year is no exception. Miami Spice runs through September 30, so be sure to take advantage of the special, discounted, three-course, prixfixe lunch and dinner menus. Luxury dining restaurants are offering three course prix-fixe lunches at $23 per person and dinners at $39; fine dining restaurants feature their menus at $19 for lunch and $33 for dinner.

For this week's special Miami Spice dining issue I caught up with Steve Haas, Board Chair of the GMCVB and owner of City Hall The Restaurant, and restaurateur and Executive Chef Andrew Carmellini of The Dutch at the W South Beach Hotel, so they could tell Wire Magazine's readers about this year's Miami Spice. To help you decide where to dine, I also chose eight of my favorite menus and restaurants from Miami Spice 2012 (five for dinner and three for lunch) that I think are a must.

STEVE HAAS

Images Credit: City Hall The Restaurant

Explain to Wire Magazine's readers how you ments. This new breakdown allowed many more to join became known as the architect behind Miami who could not in the past. The GMCVB truly wanted all Spice? that wanted to join to do so. When we started ten years ago we had 54 restaurants. As of today we now have I created Miami Spice 10 years ago with the backup of 180 restaurants participating. the GMCVB. The very first year we partnered with the Miami Herald and American Express – who are still our Can you tell Wire Magazine's readers about partners. I am also very proud to say that today this is City Hall The Restaurant's Miami Spice lunch the most successful restaurant program in the country. It and dinner offerings? all started when I experienced restaurant week in NYC and decided that we should do this in Miami but on a We offer the best of City Hall. Our three course lunch much bigger scale. menu has Grilled Mahi Mahi, Meat loaf, Salmon Salad and Cobb Salad as the entrees all for only $19 and for Why should diners take advantage of the Mi- our three course dinner the entrees include Twin Filet Miami Spice program this year? gnon, 12oz Grilled Pork Chop, the Grilled Salmon and Herb-Garlic Roasted Chicken, and, of course, on both Because it is an awesome program designed to allow lunch and dinner our now famous Choc Chip Croissant everyone to enjoy the BEST that Miami has to offer in Bread Pudding with Bourbon Anglaise and this for only the culinary world at a substantially discounted price. $33 per person!

What do you think of the new breakdown of What were your most important considerMiami Spice into luxury dining and fine din- ations in creating your City Hall The Restauing? rant Miami Spice offerings for this year?

Board Chair of the GMCVB and owner of City Hall The Restaurant

So many restaurants through the years have tried to get As for City Hall and all the restaurants prior that I have on the program but did not exactly meet the require- been involved in it has always been extremely important

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SAVORING MIAMI SPICE 2012 that MY restaurant always leads the program in food and service. When people leave they MUST be impressed! If I don’t do it right then who will?

ANDREW CARMELLINI

What key elements do you feel encompass the “perfect dining experience,” aside from the food?

Your efforts towards raising awareness for providing exemplary customer service are evident in your work as GMCVB’s Board Chair. Do you feel customer service in Miami makes or breaks a restaurant, or any business for that matter?

This has always been my motto that I stand behind and try every day to improve here at City Hall and in our City as well.

Customer service is critical and I will not tolerate bad or arrogant service – which unfortunately takes place and is accepted in many establishments, something I will never understand! But to answer your question I believe that its true and it should be critical to your business! You should tolerate nothing less!

Is there anything else you would like to tell Wire Magazine's readers about Miami Spice?

Spice has been extraordinary for most of the restaurants in Dade County. Before Spice the slowest months of the year had been August and September, which is why I selected them.

Now most can report that these months are now the fourth and fifth busiest months of the year! This is also great for the staff that might have been laid off at this time or cut back on their schedules. Now restaurants are actually hiring this time of year, which was unheard of prior to Spice.

Is there anything else you would like to tell Wire Magazine's readers about City Hall The Restaurant or your Miami Spice offerings?

Please come by and experience City Hall The Restaurant all year, but you should take advantage of Spice as it’s a great value and a great experience. No other restaurant does it better, so come experience the BEST!

Executive Chef of The Dutch at the W South Beach Hotel

Image Credit: Noah Fecks

When guests leave my restaurant and tell me that they had an awesome experience it usually means that everything worked for them. THE FOOD, THE SERVICE, THE ATMOSPHERE, AND EVEN THE MUSIC, WHICH HELPS CREATE THE ENERGY IN THE BUILDING.

How would you describe The Dutch point. It's nice to give people something to to any Wire Magazine's readers who look forward to every year. love dining out but have not visited your restaurant yet?

Can you tell Wire Magazine's readers about your favorite items on The We hope you'll feel like you're in our home, Dutch's September Lunch and Dinner rather than a restaurant or hotel. That's the Miami Spice offerings? big idea. Our version of hospitality is intended to make you feel like you're settling On the dinner menu, I love the Skate Wing in for an easy, good time. Order yourself with Saffron Cous Cous and for lunch, the something from the oyster bar. We're proud Chilled Sweet Corn Soup is great, and the of everything we cook at The Dutch, but a lot Trofie Pasta. of extra special care and training goes into our shellfish. Also, save room for pie.

What were your most important considerations in creating your Miami Why should Wire Magazine read- Spice offerings for this year? ers who love dining out come to The Dutch for dinner or lunch?

Same as what they usually are - "What kind of produce is nice here this time of year?

So we can show them a good time, and What'll make it special? If it were me, what hopefully, so they can discover something would I feel like eating?" Those simple, but they didn't even know they liked. big questions.

Why should diners take advantage Is there anything else you would of your Miami Spice program this like to tell Wire Magazine's readers year? about The Dutch?

We're new to the Miami Spice game, and we're excited. We have come up with some really great dishes for Spice. We are also one of the few that bring our stellar beverage team to task. They're offering Spice-priced cocktails, wine and beer.

We're lucky enough to be inside the W Hotel in South Beach. We take our coffee seriously, it's the only place on the beach you can get Stumptown. Our kimchi is legit, thanks to Jae. Our bartender wins fancy awards, but he also makes a mean old fashioned, straight up.

Explain to Wire Magazine's readers how you decided to put together Is there anything else you would such an amazing Miami Spice dinner like to tell Wire Magazine's readers menu for September? about yourself?

We were just keeping in the overall mood, Best to check in with me at @andrecarmellini and keeping people loving Spice, that's the on Twitter.

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SAVORING MIAMI SPICE 2012

THE DUTCH

DINNER The Dutch W South Beach Hotel & Residences 2201 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach

Image Credit: Mark Roskams Image Credit: The Dutch

New York restaurateurs Chef Andrew Carmellini, Josh Pickard and Luke Ostrom brought this wildly popular American restaurant to the W Hotel in partnership with Miami impresarios Karim Masri and Nicola Siervo. They have been delighting diners since its grand opening.

Their menu features fresh fish and shellfish, choice meats and the best local produce available. The dishes are influenced by a range of flavors from the Caribbean to Morocco, the Gulf Coast to the West Coast, and Cuba to Italy.

I recently had an opportunity to preview their Spice dinner menu, and Chef Carmellini and his team truly hit a home run! You will savor such delicious choices as Chilled Sweet Corn Soup with Fire Roasted Corn, Piquillo Peppers, and Ancho Chile; Skate Wing with Ras El Hanout, Saffron Cous Cous, Home-Made Raisin, and Toasted Almond; and Milk Chocolate Budino with Roasted Sour Cherry, Yuzu Ice Cream.

SCARPETTA

Images Credit: Scarpetta

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Scarpetta Fontainebleau Miami Beach 4441 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach Scarpetta is one of the Fontainebleau's three AAA Four Diamond award-winning signature restaurants – along with Hakkasan and Gotham Steak. Chef and restaurateur Scott Conant and Chef de Cuisine Nina Compton offer you refined Italian cuisine in a light, airy restaurant that combines a traditional maritime aesthetic with New World elegance – a perfect setting for seasonally-inspired Italian fare, composed of farm-fresh ingredients and clean, earthy flavors that pay homage to Conant's Italian heritage.

Two of Scarpetta's signature dishes include an uber delectable Spaghetti with Tomato and Basil and a Creamy Polenta with a Fricassee of Truffled Mushrooms that is to die for. I truly loved these two. Some tasty Spice alternatives include Smoked Mackerel Tartar with Puttanesca Vinaigrette, Black Olive and Baby Basil; Mediterranean Branzino with Spring Vegetables, Almond Brown Butter Brodetto; and Chocolate Cake with Salted Caramel, Vanilla Bean Gelato and Nutella Crumbles.

Delizioso!

THE ANGLER'S

660 @

SAVORING MIAMI SPICE 2012 660 at The Angler's The Angler's Boutique Resort 660 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach One of South Beach's most romantic dining destinations and a favorite of many Wire Magazine readers, 660 at The Angler's, brings you an amazing array of Latin fusion cuisine dishes created by Chef Carlos Torres and his team. Mouth-watering menu alternatives will delight you for dinner, lunch or brunch, and they will leave you craving for more. You can complement your meal with their signature Black Mojito, Guava Pisco, or Coconut Martini Water.

MICHY'S

Images Credit: 660 @ The Angler's

Some of 660's Miami Spice dinner choices include such appetizing delights as Short Rib Empanadas with Goat Cheese and Pineapple; Arroz con Pato with Duck, Panca Marmalade, Poached Egg, Raisin, and Lima Bean; Chocolate Tres Leches, a Chocolate Laced, Condensed Milk Cake. I personally loved the Arroz con Pato and the fact that 660's Spice menu offers an extensive array of choices for both your appetizer and entree – kudos to Chef Torres!

Michelle created one of the best dinner menu's available during this year's Spice program with many delicious alternatives that include Pulled, Picked, Pressed Pork Belly with Stewed Leeks, Pickled Cherries, and Cherry Bacon Syrup; Grilled Swordfish Summer Clam Bake with Vongole Clams, Chorizo, Bliss Potatoes, Corn, and Clam Broth; and Deep Fried Summer Cherry Pie with Coca Cola Syrup and Vanilla Ice Cream. So head over to Miami's “Upper East Side” and tell Michelle that her Wire Magazine friends send their regards!

Michy’s 6927 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami Every time I hear the word Michy's it brings a smile to my face because it reminds me of the day I had the great pleasure of cooking with Michelle Bernstein for a Wired Inside the Chef's Kitchen editorial.

Michelle is both an amazing chef and wonderful, kind human being. Michelle's whimsical bistro dishes reflect her classical French training and love for all things Spain with some homey Italian – "luxurious comfort food."

SMITH & WOLLENSKY

Images Credit: Gio Alma

Smith & Wollensky 1 Washington Avenue (at South Pointe Park), Miami Beach I very much enjoy Smith & Wollensky's beautiful Miami Beach waterfront location and their USDA Prime, dry aged and butchered onpremise steaks. There is a very good reason why Chef Dana Brizee's restaurant is a favorite of both locals and tourists alike – who appreciate outstanding steak and seafood dishes, plus Smith & Wollensky's Great American Wine List with selections from across the country.

I have always also liked Smith & Wollensky's Miami Spice menu because they offer some of their best dishes. Some of this year's Spice dinner choices include Wollensky’s Famous Split Pea Soup with Croutons; 10 oz Filet Mignon with Whipped Potatoes, Béarnaise; and Carrot Cake – made fresh daily by their pastry chef. Don't miss out on tasting some delicious Miami Spice meat and seafood dishes while watching the boats go by at the tip of South Beach!

Images Credit: Smith & Wollensky

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SAVORING MIAMI SPICE 2012

LUNCH

CITY HALL

City Hall The Restaurant 2004 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami

ROSA MEXICANA

Rosa Mexicano South Beach 1111 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach

This is the crown jewel of restaurateur Steve Haas' numerous achievements in the restaurant business and a dream come true. Steve and Chef Tom Azar will welcome you in a stunningly beautiful space with gorgeous stained glass and a larger than life mural. They will also provide you with a dining experience that is all about “Haas-pitality” and service, in an All American bistro that features delicious American comfort food with amazing twists.

Rosa Mexicano South Beach decided to put a great twist on their lunch Spice menu by allowing you to choose 3 items to create your ideal lunch. Your choices include appetizers, entrees, desserts, and also some bang-up beverages. So you can have a traditional 3 course meal, or mix it up and have, for example, one appetizer, and two margaritas – a Frozen Pomegranate and a La Tradicional. The flexibility in their Spice menu is fantastic.

Image Credit: Rosa Mexicana

I also really liked that they include many of their top dishes in the lunch Spice menu and give you plenty of delectable choices. I particularly enjoyed the Flautas de Pollo (Rolled Crispy Chicken Tacos) with Three Rolled Crispy Chicken Tacos Topped with Salsa Pasilla de Oaxaca, Salsa Verde, Queso Fresco, and Crema; Enchiladas de Mole Xico (Chicken Mole Enchiladas) with Veracruz Mole over Two Tortillas Filled with Pulled, Roasted Chicken with Chopotle (Tinga); and Pastel de Plátano Chocolate (Banana Chocolate Chip Cake), a Banana Chocolate Chip Cake Filled with Peanut Butter Mousse, Topped with Decadent Dark Chocolate Sauce, and Cinnamon Swirl Ice Cream.

JUVIA

As the architect behind Miami Spice, Steve believes in offering the best of City Hall for the Spice program, and it is extremely important for him that HIS restaurant always lead Spice in food and service. As he puts it, “when people leave they MUST be impressed!” I certainly was. The lunch Spice menu is not only delicious, but very comprehensive with numerous mouth-watering choices such as Baked Eggplant-Reggiano Parmesan with Mozzarella and Herb Marinara; House Blend Meatloaf with Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans, Crispy Onions, and Homemade Gravy; and Necturine Cheesecake.

Juvia 1111 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach Juvia provides you with a dining experience unlike any you can have in Miami and the Beaches from an overall dining experience perspective. Chefs Sunny Oh and Laurent Cantineaux bring an artful blend of Latin, Asian and French flavors to Miami Beach in a one-of-a-kind space with stunning panoramic views of Miami Beach in all directions.

Juvia can be pricey, so if you haven't been there yet, Miami Spice is the perfect opportunity to stop by for lunch and enjoy the food, the views, and some luscious cocktails. Juvia also has a twist on their Miami Spice offerings: Five Bento boxes to choose from.

Two of them include Duck Bento Box: Duck Confit, Jasmine Rice, Papaya, Cucumber Salad, and Cupcake; and Korean Bento Box: Short Ribs, Jasmine Rice, Tomato, Avocado Salad, and Cupcake.

Images Credit: Juvia

SOUTH BEACH THE RESTAURANT

Images Credit: City Hall The Restaurant

Stop by www.wireweekly.com/dining to view the Miami Spice menus for the eight restaurants I chose to showcase for you. You can also visit www.ilovemiamispice.com for the menus from all participating restaurants and to find out which restaurants are offering Miami Spice for lunch, dinner or both.

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DAILY GRIND: POST MODERN

BY MICHAEL W. SASSER

Grand Reopening @ Discotekka

photos by Juan Saco Mironoff

NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME? he media has been all abuzz this week with news that a Utah NBC affiliate has decided not to air The New Normal, the latest sitcom hoping to lure the old Will & Grace audience with gay leads, sassy supporting characters and canned laughter. In other words, the network and producers got just what they want – one tiny bit of “controversy” to try to drive interest in yet another sitcom. But while they will ride this piece of non-news as far as they possibly can in order to make a buck pandering to a minority group, I think they might be missing a point about the Utah station’s decision.

Salt Lake City’s Mormon-owned KSL announced that the program didn’t fit in with their lineup, wasn’t appropriate for “family viewing time,” Jeff Simpson, CEO of the affiliates corporate owner told The Salt Lake Tribune. But I think it might be more than that. Sometimes I wonder if those who fail to herald queer-themed entertainment aren’t motivated more out of intimidation than they are out of any sense of hate or prejudice.

Let’s face it, with a few exceptions, gays – and gay men in particular – set pretty high standards on television and living up to those standards can be too much for gays, not to mention for straights. I know I feel that way, and I’ve been prancing through Sodom since well before there were gays on network television. Have a look at what’s out there about The New Normal – I did. Two impossibly handsome gay men in an idyllic relationship happily surrounded by their cooperative surrogate baby-momma and sassy friends make for the set-up. I don’t know if it will be good or bad beyond that. Doesn’t matter.

Downtown’s largest gay dance party got even bigger and better, celebrating the grand reopening with superstar DJ Escape and performances

by TP Lords and Gina DiAngelo.

What matters is that once again, it looks like gays are being played as a type. You know how we are portrayed. We’re the comic relief, the jokester; we’re the neat and clean ones, the hip ones, the stylish ones, the guardians of all things, the moral compass, the walking billboards for all things progressive and endearing. It would bring a tear to my eye if I weren’t about to vomit. What we aren’t is uncool, sloppily dressed, fat, unattractive, selfish, petty, shallow, prejudice or ever, ever a tad self-righteous. We don’t like manly things.

We like opera and Oprah, not football. At least that’s how we appear on-screen.

Is it any wonder, a bunch of Mormon guys in Utah don’t want more shows with perfect homos on the air? This past year I’ve had the chance to meet a lot of Mormons.

They’re really very nice. But relative to the urbane perfection of network queers? No competition. The mythical world of TV gays is simply too perfect for the real world to duplicate. Heteros in Utah are simply outclassed.

Straights aren’t the only ones though. I didn’t need a Mormon owned affiliate to convince me to be wary here. I admit it.

I’m outclassed. I am slow to be lured into sitcoms featuring queers. I can’t compete with the perfect comic timing, the One-Percenter couture and the perfect abs that define gay men to TV audiences. My friends aren’t nearly as cool either. Some even enjoy…gasp…sports and the occasional fried food.

So maybe its not that Utah is too good for The New Normal, but rather vice-versa. I know that, to date, neither I nor my friends and colleagues have lived up to the expectations set by Hollywood.

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TO VIEW ADDITIONAL PHOTOS FROM THIS & OTHER EVENTS VISIT: WWW.WIREWEEKLY.COM

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GOING OUT CALENDAR OF EVENTS WANT TO LIST YOUR EVENT IN GOING OUT OR ADVERTISE HERE?

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NIGHTLIFE & ENTERTAINMENT THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6

Way, Hollywood.

MOVA: Edison Farrow’s HYPE Fridays.

Hosted by Pussila with beats by DJ Bryan Zero. $7 Finlandia drink specials all night.

No cover. “Where the men go out in South Beach on Friday nights!”

AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA: R&B Legends Mary J. Blige and D’Angelo bring the Liberation Tour to Miami; show starts PALACE: Drag Madness with fierce shows by some of South Beach’s most spectacular at 7:30 p.m. drag performers! Show starts at 6 p.m.

and sexy go-go dancers. Open bar from 9 - 10 p.m. $3 Threesome Shots, $4 Miller Lites, $5 Red Headed Slut Shots and Herradura, and $6 Finlandia. No cover.

guest appearances, DJs Smeejay, FR8-O & Maximus 3000. $1 PBR, Beer, $2 Jell-O shots & $4 vodka all night! 222 Española Way.

PALACE: South Beach’s most legendary drag brunch. 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. with two seatings: 11:30 a.m. and 2 p.m. Performances by Noel Leon. Afterwards, check out the Sunday T-Dance with local DJs.

MOVA: Weekly SHOUT karaoke party with DJ Miik, choose from 250,000 songs.

Half priced drinks and $5 glasses of wine all night long.

SCORE: Karaoke night! Doors open at 9 p.m. Upstairs, HIP SUNDAYS, in association with Club Boi 2.0, featuring hip-hop, house, and R&B beats by DJs Gavin T & Diaz from 10 p.m. - 5 a.m.

PALACE: Palace Drag Race hosted by the audacious Missy Meyakie LePaige with appearances by RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4 contestant, Latrice Royale! Absolut open bar from 7 - 8 p.m. Divas in drag receive $4 Absolut cocktails all night long!

SCORE: Penny Back Boyz host one of the hottest parties in South Beach, Filthy Gor- TWIST: Steamy Sundays in the Garden geous Fridays, with sounds by internation- Bar featuring Pussila’s underwear contest; SCORE: Happy hour with all drinks half the winner gets $100. Shirtless guests re- price, followed by Video Freak where you al DJ Willy G. ceive a free cocktail! “Never a cover...Al- can request your favorite music videos and enjoy $5 vodka cocktails, $7 martinis and TWIST: Free Happy Hour BBQ at 6 p.m. ways a groove.” $3 beers. No cover.

Enjoy seven different bars, stiff drinks, & MONDAY SEPTEMBER 10 beautiful dancers. “Never a cover... AlTWIST: Pop Mondays with Nathan in the ways a groove.”

KILL YOUR IDOL: Dustin Reffca presents video bar and Latin Talent with Arrasando.

Glitter Box Mondays - South Beach’s hot- Hosted by Marco Perez and VJ Nicolas SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 8 test Monday night party with sparkling Torres in Bar Five.

DISCOTEKKA: “Tribal” featuring DJ/ Producer Derek Monteiro; live the MONOUR SPICE MENU HAS TEIRO Experience! Opening set by DJ Cindel. Doors open at 11 p.m. 950 NE 2nd Ave.

TOO MUCH

MOVA: Fashion night, partying with the hottest local and national designers and boutiques. $6 Finlandia cocktails all $4 Miller Lites all night long. 1625 Michigan Ave.

JAMES L. KNIGHT CENTER: Rosario Y Lolita Flores perform at 8 p.m.

MOVA: Happy Hour 3 - 9 p.m., followed

by FLASH Saturdays with the hottest music videos and visual entertainment by VJ Chris Racine and VJ Barry Browder till 3 a.m. $9 Grey Goose cocktails all night.

FLAVOR! TO WAIT

OFFERING MIAMI SPICE MENU JULY 18, 2012 – SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

PALACE: Stiletto Nights with fierce drag shows by host Missy Meiyakie and spe- PALACE: “Drags Gone Wild” with percial diva cast members. Show at 6 p.m. formances by Tiffany Fantasia and cast!

Weekly drink specials all night. 1200 Sounds by DJ Hans at 4 p.m.

Ocean Drive.

SCORE: Salvation: IPANEMA featuring SCORE: DJ Daisy D’s Bachelorette Party. Brazilian DJ Rafael Calvente. Warm up set No cover! $6 Long Island Ice Teas. 727 by DJ Just Oliver with sexy Samba school dancers. Hosted by Juliana Martinez & Lincoln Road.

Alex Prieto. Free drink with paid admisTWIST: Seven different bars, DJ Sushi- sion until 1 a.m. man, stiff drinks, and beautiful dancers.

DJ Adora hosts Sabroso in Bar 5! 2-4-1 TWIST: Happy Hour 2-4-1 with Tommy special on everything till 2 a.m. “Never and the locals from 1 - 9 p.m. on everya cover... Always a groove.”1057 Wash- thing. MUSCLE BOY Saturdays. Incredible beats by DJ Mika. “Never a cover... ington Ave. Always a groove.”

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 7

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 9

HARD ROCK LIVE: PAL Boxing Presents Heroes in Action at 7 p.m. 5747 Seminole MOVA: Sucia Sundays with DJ AJ Reddy 16 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

Please call for reservations and information 305.534.9600

SEPTEMBER 6 - 12 Art showcasing paintings and sculptures of Jamaican art by self-trained and nonacademically trained artists thru SeptemMOVA: S.I.N. Tuesdays. Service Industry ber 21.

Night. $7 Stoli cocktails, $50 Finlandia WEAM: The Magic of Marilyn, a showand $100 Stoli bottle specials. case of 27 rare Marilyn Monroe photos PALACE: “Dine with the Stars” featuring by Bruno Bernard premiers at the World a full roster of impersonators and show- Erotic Art Museum September 12, at 7 stopping performances. Special guest p.m. thru Sunday, November 30. hosts and performances every week, with dinner specials starting at $19.95.

BASS MUSEUM OF ART: Enjoy Bass’ Egyptian Gallery featuring Egyptian statuary, canopic jars, stela fragments, and pottery every Wed – Sun thru March of 2013.

SCORE: Planeta Macho, the hottest Latin Party in Miami Beach, featuring Latin beats by award winning DJ George Ferrero. Tonight Celebrate Orgullo hosts a dance contest, Concurso De Baile.

THE INTERNATIONAL BALLET FESTIVAL OF MIAMI: Featuring dancers and companies from 15 countries, thru September 16.

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 11

TWIST: 2-4-1 Happy Hour from 1 - 9 p.m. on everything. TWIST presents Keeping It Real Fun With Daisy D. Get ready for ridiculous beats and $5 Jumbo Blue Long Island Iced Teas all night long. “Never a cover. Always a groove.”

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART: Optic Nerve, MOCA’s annual film festival showcasing innovative short films and videos by artists from around the US and South Florida, takes place on September 14 with screening times at 7 & 9 p.m.

THIS AND THAT: Unconventional Selections From the Permanent Collection: Taking unconventional art to a new level in an attempt to challenge visitors’ perceptions of art and beauty. At the Frost Art Museum until October 26.

DESIGN FOR A LIVING WORLD: An exhibition that includes works from designers like Isaac Mizrahi and Kate Spade, at Coral Gables Museum thru October 26.

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 12

DINING

EROS LOUNGE: Eros Idol Karaoke at 8 p.m. Happy Hour 4 - 9 p.m. with $5 Long Island Iced Tea all night long. 8201 Biscayne Blvd.

MIAMI SPICE: Get a taste of Miami with prix fixe three-course meals in some of the best restaurants in town. Choose from "luxury dining" ($22 for lunch & $39 for dinner) or "fine dining" ($19 for lunch & $33 for dinner). For more info check out www.wireweekly.com/dinning

MOVA: Weekly College Night Wednesdays, hosted by the Penny Back Boyz. DJ Daisy D will be working the turntables, $5 Finlandia cocktails and five Miller Lites for only $15 all night long.

PALACE: After a brief summer break, the Palace culinary team has returned and the kitchen is back open to once again serve up delectable bites. Stop by and dig into the classic Palace Burger, a succulent New York Strip Steak “Diane” or eat like a true “queen” and enjoy the Diva Salad, mango guava cheesecake, or the chocolate bomb with three different layers of chocolate mousse.

COMMUNITY FASHION NIGHT OUT returns for it’s 4th year. The DVF store at the Village of Merrick Park will celebrate with great music, cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, while various SoBe boutiques will offer a variety of giveaways. The Design District will also be participating, showcasing Emporio del Giovani’s fall collections at LMNT. Visit FashionNightsOut.com for full details.

THE LAUNCH OF DWNTWN ART DAYS begins with free access to the Rashid Johnson exhibit at the Miami Art Museum, and a food truck roundup hosted by the Arsht Center, Beached Miami will be hosting a bike tour, and artist Misael Soto (known for his giant communal beach towel) will be laying out a giant picnic blanket at Bayfront Park. September 7 from 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.

CLASSIFIEDS

PALACE: Join the one and only Poizon Ivy and Noel Leon as they host Burlesque Wednesdays, "a feast for your eyes."

Show starts at 7 p.m.

SCORE: Martini Madness Night. A halfprice Happy Hour runs till 9 p.m.

TWIST: Head out to TWIST for their annual Turnabout party tonight! Be sure to stop by and see your favorite bartenders trade in their muscles and masculinity for a pair of high heels, crazy wigs, and outlandish outfits.

ARTS, CULTURE & FILM FROST ART MUSEUM: Second Annual Museum Studies Exhibit: Jamaican Intuitive 17 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

WANT TO LIST YOUR EVENT IN GOING OUT OR ADVERTISE HERE?

visit www.wireweekly.com/advertising

FLIX

BY ALYN DARNAY

Directed by: Jake Schreier

URGE Labor Day Weekend

Cast: Frank Langella James Marsden Liv Tyler Susan Sarandon Peter Sarsgaard Jeremy Strong Dario Barosso Bonnie Bentley Ana Gasteyer

@ Cameo

photos by Jesse Spencer URGE returned with a high-energy production fueled by phenomenal music for Labor Day Weekend 2012.

Peter Rauhofer & DJ Jalil Z both delivered impeccable sets while sexy go-go boys danced effortlessly until the very last beat. Another URGE for the books! first became aware of actor Frank Langella in 1979 when he reprised his brilliant and steamy Broadway performance of DRACULA on screen. It was certainly not the best Dracula film around, but as a young leading man his performance created a character that was unquestionably the screen’s first really sexy bloodsucker. Since then, I’ve watched him age, not so gracefully, and mature into one of the world’s greatest character actors. Never a bad performance and always careful with the roles he chose. So when I heard he was staring in a small Indie film I figured it might be choice. And it was!

Here’s the plot, just to wet your whistle: Set in the near future, Frank Weld, an ex-jewel thief with memory problems, is not doing well, he isn't up to cleaning his home; the food in his fridge is going bad; and the restaurants in town he thinks about patronizing have all gone out of business. The only bright spot in Frank's routine are visits to the local library, where he flirts with Jennifer (Sarandon), the establishment's last remaining flesh-and-blood librarian.

To keep himself out of a retirement home he is forced to accept a gift from his son; a robot butler programmed to look after Robot & Frank, turns out to be an endear- him. He rejects the robot at first, but being, bittersweet, and sometimes hilarious fore you know it the two companions are ‘buddy caper’ about an aging retired cat working as a heist team. burglar and his new robot buddy, and the chemistry between the two of them is Jake Schreier, directing his first feature, as fascinating as it is palpable. Langella has given us a gem; a small film where is so masterful in his performance as a the story and every single performance lonely curmudgeon and Rachael Ma so is measured, nuanced and pitch perfect. engaging and mechanically perfect in How often does that happen? Although the Robot suit that the two completely the film appears to be aimed at an older steal the screen, and leave you waiting for their return in the brief moments they audience, I found the younger people in are off camera. The film is irresistible. It the theater just as charmed by the magic truly makes us believe that a tranquil au- of the story. So, my recommendation, tomaton and a ruffled shell of a human grab your nearest robot and take him to being can long for one another’s com- see the movie, he’ll take better care of you for doing it! pany.

TO VIEW ADDITIONAL PHOTOS FROM THIS & OTHER EVENTS VISIT: WWW.WIREWEEKLY.COM 18 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

Rating: 4 Stars (out of 5) Robot & Frank is rated PG-13. Running time: 1hr 30min

19 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

20 | wire magazine | issue #36, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter