Unconquered Peaks Issue 1 Feb 2015

ISSUE

1

FEB 2015

UNCONQUERED PEAKS W i m b l e d o n H i g h’s f i r s t e nt i r e l y s t u d e nt- r u n m a g a z i n e

E D I T O R’S N O T E

A new year, a new head, a new magazine.

We are very glad to welcome you to the first edition of Unconquered Peaks, Wimbledon High’s first entirely student-run magazine. The philosophy of Unconquered Peaks is simple. We spend, on average, 40 hours of our week, 37 weeks of our year and 14 years of our lives at school. School-life is such a busy, stimulating, part of our lives that it would be a shame to let it all go undocumented.

This magazine tries to do just that. We seek to make light of issues which interest us, both further afield and closer to home. This issue’s articles range from our more highbrow thoughts on the controversy over the Human Rights Act, to the trivial, yet arguably equally as anticipated, arrival of the new sixth-form coffee machine.

We have structured Unconquered Peaks in a way that will hopefully encompass most aspects of life at Wimbledon. Commentary on this issue’s offerings in drama, art and music are complemented by our more distinctive opinion and current affairs pieces. The freedom with which we have been granted to publish these articles mean that they will hopefully come as thought provoking, helpful and, dare I say it, humorous (spoiler: the sheep of Wimbledon High make a guest appearance at the end).

This magazine, is of course, every bit yours as it is ours. Without you there would be no magazine; no conquered peaks to report on, or for that matter, unconquered ones to bring to light.

So please read, be inspired, and if you like what you see, get involved in our next issue!

Enjoy!

Frankie Adkins

CONTENTS Life Outside WHS

Voicing Our Opinions

2. An Apple a Day

5. Our Average is Better than Average

3. Hands Off the Human Rights Act

6. Music Assessments: they’re just not everyone’s forte

4. Cult Fiction: Is Scientology Really Worth the Hype?

Culture 10. The Most Astounding Fact

Getting Involved

11. Did it Even Happen?

7. Don’t Be A School Scrooge!

12. Unconquered Peaks Reviews

8. Interview with Mrs McDowell

A Bit of Fun Living

18. Randall’s Random Rants

14. Hannah’s Philosophical Musings

19. Staff Lookalikes & Good Deed Feed

15. No Make Up Allowed!

20. Comic Strip

16. We had our Cake and Ate it

21. Best and Worst Things that Happen at WHS

MEET THE EDITORS Opinion Pieces

Current Affairs

Art & Culture

Annie Wills

Alex Rowe

Mathilda Christensson

Co-Curricular

Lifestyle

Illustrator

Pansy Doyle

Hannah Burt

Kate Randall

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A N A P P L E A DAY K E E P S T H E B A B I E S AT B AY Written By: J E M M A R I M M E R

Since January Apple, one of the world’s most influential brands, has been offering to freeze eggs for female employees as a ‘perk’. This effort, made in addition to the existing, generous, maternity employment rights, is an attempt to attract more female workers. However, it raises an important ethical question: is this really something which will be of benefit to women in the workplace?

world’s most advanced companies, they seem to have missed the point. They lose women partly because the job-family juggling act prevents them from giving the commitment necessary to make it to the board, and this isn’t going to be any easier merely by being delayed ten years.

Apple has stated “we care deeply about our employees and their families, and we are always looking at new ways our health programmes can meet their needs.” But in what way does this so called health programme meet their needs from a health perspective? It is actually going to promote older pregnancies that increase health risks for women, and potentially put an even larger pressure on healthcare systems.

Another problem can be identified with Apple’s assumption that all women are the primary carers of children. By offering women so called innovative solutions it is excluding men from the mix, something that in the modern cultural climate we should be seeking to avoid. Our priority should be working towards a situation where all parents, (fathers included) are able to balance work and family. The situation for women will only improve when men and women take up equal responsibility for child rearing. Rather than introducing a program in which women have to compromise, Apple should be introducing equal time-off for men. When this happens women may find that they no longer face a glass ceiling and differential pay levels.

Studies indicate that women who have their eggs frozen have only a 30 percent chance of giving birth even if they are 25 or under. The closer women get to age 40, the lower the likelihood of success is. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) does not endorse the use of egg-freezing to defer childbearing, advising that ‘there is still not enough known about the egg freezing procedure’s safety.’ Furthermore, the marketing of fertility procedures as a way of enhancing lifestyles has led to a disregard of the possibility of fertility failure. This can be a cause of mental health problems including depression and posttraumatic stress disorder. Seemingly, Apple does not care so ‘deeply’ about its female employees and their families.

Being the world’s most influential brand, Apple has a greater responsibility beyond its own workforce. Its highly loyal customer base means that Apple has been insulated from the public outcry that we might have expected to see relating to such a contentious issue. There is also the risk of a domino effect, if other companies were to follow Apple’s lead and adopt this policy. The combination of these factors means that Apple is in a strong position to permanently damage women’s success in the workplace. It seems ironic that in an attempt to ‘attract more women’ in order to increase the diversity of a male dominated sector, Apple could well be putting them at risk (both physically and mentally) and making it even more difficult to break through the glass ceiling. My advice therefore to Apple is to go back to the drawing board.

Apple’s marketing strategy poses egg-freezing as a chance to give women more freedom in their career, when in reality they are placing huge pressure on female workers to delay motherhood. Apple have cleverly disguised this as a ‘choice’, but it begs the question who’s going to get the promotion - a woman who has chosen to become pregnant mid-career or one who has delayed pregnancy and shown a commitment to Apple? In effect this is creating yet another obstacle women have to face in their struggle to ‘reach the top’ in a workplace, whilst men continue to climb the ladder unhindered.

Apple’s own analysis of employment statistics suggests that they lose many of their female employees at the time when they choose to pursue a family. Ironically for one of the 2

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HANDS OFF THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT Written By: H A N N A H W I L LC O C K

At the recent Conservative Party Conference, David Cameron announced a manifesto commitment to abolish the Human Rights Act and replace it with a British Bill of Rights. Superficially, creating a British Bill of Rights has its attractions, especially considering the recent case of Abu Qatada, the Jordanian cleric accused of terrorism in Jordan and of being a supporter of Al-Qaeda.

rights. The Human Rights Act prevents the UK Parliament from introducing laws into Britain that are inconsistent with the Convention. A key purpose of the Act is therefore to provide a degree of control and limitation on Parliament’s power.

Rather than pick and choose our own rights and parcel these up in a British Bill of Rights, as a privileged, comparatively wealthy country, I would argue that we have a responsibility to help implement human rights internationally. In the case of Abu Qatada, whilst the Human Rights Act was arguably a hindrance to Britain, it has also had a positive impact in that it forced Theresa May (Home Secretary), to work with the Jordanian government to change their law. This would not have happened without Britain having implemented the Human Rights Act. The European Court of Human Rights ruled that Qatada could not be deported because he faced the risk that evidence obtained through torture might be used at his trial in Jordan. As a result, Theresa May negotiated a new treaty with Jordan which guaranteed Qatada a fair trial. As Chakrabarti points out in her book, ‘we must put up with irritation for the bigger picture and longer view’. By abandoning the Human Rights Act we are unable to help shape international law.

Qatada mounted arguments under the Human Rights Act for more than eight years, preventing the British government from extraditing him. Understandably, there was a great deal of publicity and outrage that the British taxpayer had to pay his substantial legal fees throughout this period. According to the Telegraph, the total legal bill exceeded £1.7 million, not including ‘the millions of pounds in security, detention and state handouts that have had to be met by the taxpayer’.

The Conservative party has leapt on to the Abu Qatada case, presenting this as a compelling argument for creating a British Bill of Rights, thereby giving Britain total control over the terms of its human rights legislation.

However, it was only after hearing Shami Chakrabarti speak on the subject that I really began to consider the issue and the role of the Human Rights Act fully. The conclusion I have reached is that the Conservative proposal is a knee-jerk reaction which is not thought through and that it would be a real mistake to abolish the Human Rights Act.

Another recent high profile case, concerning an autistic British man, Gary McKinnon, illustrates the protective rights that the Human Rights Act can confer on individuals. Gary McKinnon was accused of hacking into the Pentagon’s computer system.

Ironically, the same Home Secretary accepted McKinnon’s Human Rights Act arguments and refused to extradite Gary McKinnon to America to stand trial, accepting that she was under a duty to block an extradition that would breach McKinnon’s human rights. This case shows the importance of human rights laws being universally accepted and implemented.

If the Human Rights Convention had been adopted in America, arguably the extradition attempts against Gary McKinnon would not have arisen.

Ex-Home Office lawyer Chakrabarti has been the director of human rights campaign group Liberty since 2001. Wimbledon High School old girl Samira Ahmed interviewed Chakrabarti as part of a Wimbledon Bookfest event, a week before the publication of Chakrabarti’s book ‘On Liberty’. One of the points that Chakrabarti made is that there is little to no education of the British public on the Human Rights Act. She also criticised the British press for presenting the Human Rights Act as being essentially about rights for terrorists and argued that this completely misrepresents the purpose of the legislation.

I myself am convinced that instead of abandoning the Human Rights Act, we should encourage more countries to adopt its provisions. That way, ordinary British people will have their basic rights and freedoms protected everywhere. Moreover, were all countries to apply the Human Rights Convention, cases such as those of Abu Qatada and Gary McKinnon would not occur.

Britain would be secure in the knowledge that its deportees would be treated fairly, and that torture would not take place.

So what is the point of the Human Rights Act and how does it work? The Human Rights Act takes effect by implementing the European Convention on Human Rights (1950) into British law. It is made up of sixteen rights including the right to a fair trial and the prohibition of torture. Individuals can enforce these 3

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C U LT F I C T I O N I S S C I E N T O L O G Y R E A L LY W O R T H T H E H Y P E ?

Written By: F R A N K I E A D K I N S

It is hard to miss 156 Queen Victoria Street, a 500 square foot, five-story landmark building that pervades London’s financial district. The extravagance of the nineteenth century façade however, is merely a reflection of that of the interior, which, adorned with white marble and stretching staircases, looks better suited to a luxury hotel than to one of the world’s most infamous religious sects.

The UK’s largest Church of Scientology building emanates wealth, a quality that, after our recent visit, we perceived to be at the heart of this unconventional religion.

either a lack of use or an excessively regular cleaner. Likewise, the grand looking signs, written in a medieval font, suggested decades of history, which was particularly ironic seeing as Scientology was founded only in 1952. One of which displayed the title ‘personality tests and registration’, above an ominous looking corridor, to which we stayed a healthy ten metres from at all times. Perhaps most striking however were the good-looking staff, young and professionally dressed in gold waistcoats, who were far from the longhaired, barefooted, be-robed ensemble we had expected.

Though cheery, they took a disappointingly small amount of interest in us, and apart from offering us refreshments (which of course we declined, the saying ‘don’t drink the Kool-Aid’ ringing precariously in our ears) we were left mostly undisturbed. After only three quarters of an hour we were ready to leave, and with no harassment or pleas to register, just a polite ‘have a nice day’ from the staff, we were soon back on Queen Victoria Street, with mixed reactions regarding our experience.

Our exposure to Scientology, through RS lessons, tabloid stories and documentaries, instilled a curiosity in us, which would only be satisfied by experiencing the organisation first hand. Naturally, our plan was met with concerned looks from family and friends, owing to Scientology’s negative media coverage as a dangerous, moneycentric organisation. With nothing to lose financially however, and the knowledge that if we failed to answer our phones within a few hours our families would be sure to call a search party, we decided the risk of visiting was worth taking.

After spending the train journey meticulously fabricating fake identities, emergency code words and escape plans, all descended into panic, as after being handed a visitor’s sheet on arrival, we ended up writing down a laughable mix of information (apologies if an Aggie Abrahams, from Green Street, London, with a ten digit phone number actually exists). After completing the form we were taken through to the visitors centre, a room teeming with propaganda, its overwhelming number of TVs, (we counted fifteen) each playing a different promotional film. The first film we watched, a lengthy biography of Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard, left us feeling underwhelmed, its description of his accomplishments in the Scouts and his jet-setting ways, failing to inspire us.

Likewise, the voice-overs, reminiscent of a clichéd American movie trailer, and characterless muzak (akin to the worse hold music possible) offset any potential the videos may have had. The statistics were, frankly, too good to be true, with the mention of 100 percent success rates, inviting us to question the authenticity of the statements. We couldn’t help but think that their money would have been better spent on the actual charitable endeavours being advertised, rather than the production costs and free DVDs offered to all visitors. The notion of visitors was again dubious, as despite claims of the organisation’s mass following, we saw only one other during our whole visit.

Although our measures seem slightly ridiculous in hindsight, in a way we had good cause for concern. True, we did not feel threatened at any moment; we could walk out of the Church, unfazed and shrugging off the bizarre experience in search of lunch. This is not always the case. Students are ideal prey for religious cults at university or on gap years, who according to Ian Howarth of the Cult Information Centre, recruit the ‘intelligent, idealistic and spiritually curious’ rather than the typically vulnerable. The disorientating feeling of being away from home for the first time and lonely, or young, invincible and ready to leave a mark, means we become more susceptible to cults.

Regardless of whether Scientology is dangerous or not, this is an organisation stooped in wealth, and our visit meant we were never in a position to forget this. This was, to us, the most striking aspect of Scientology. Not the sensationalism that surrounds it for its unorthodox beliefs about aliens, or Tom Cruise’s controversial membership, but the fact that millions of pounds are poured into this organisation every year. The famous words of L. R. Hubbard himself ‘If you want to get rich, you start a religion’, couldn’t be a more appropriate description for Scientology.

Giving up on the films, we decided instead to just absorb the atmosphere, noting the scrupulously clean surfaces, suggesting 4

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“How did you do?”

The question everyone is always rushing to ask at the end of every topic text in year 7 right up until the final results day in year 13. But it shouldn’t matter how the person sitting next to you did or what grade your friend got, it only really matters how you did.

O U R AV E R AG E I S B E T T E R T H A N AV E R AG E Written By: A N N I E W I L L I S

We are all lucky enough to be at one of the top all girls day schools in London, however this means we can become wrapped up in a cocoon of pressure. It is so easy to get caught up in grades and figures within the school, that it becomes increasingly hard to look at the bigger picture. By comparing yourself to classmates and friends you are not given a realistic idea of how you, the individual, are doing. Getting below average at Wimbledon probably means you are still above national average, but being at such an academic school means students who don’t always get that A may be left feeling inadequate and mediocre.

There is nothing wrong with being ‘average’. It is so easy to get lost in the middling majority, with A* students getting recognition and struggling students getting extra support. However, if you are trying your hardest and aiming high, whatever you achieve is impressive. Have the confidence to recognise that you are building the best version of yourself. There will always be the person who seems to excel in everything they do, whatever school you’re at. Instead of fixating on this, recognise your own strengths; don’t let the weakness overshadow these assets.

Then again we should not shy away from our weaknesses and be afraid to try new things in fear of failing or even not excelling. In memory of Mrs Hanbury’s failure week we should step, or rather stride, outside of our comfort zone.

This is why I appreciate the change in WHS’ report system. Although for sixth formers being predicated on our ‘Minimum Target Grades’ (statistics predicted from a computer somewhere in Durham) isn’t ideal, especially if you have the pleasure of being frequented by a ‘U’ (underachieving) or, God forbid, a ‘W’, it is a step in the right direction. By scrapping the class median we can at least begin to start comparing ourselves to ourselves, not just to the WHS demographic.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is be happy with any grade that you put all your effort into.

It is your own success and a token of all your hard work.

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MUSIC ASSESSMENTS T H E Y’RE J U S T N O T E V E R Y O N E’S F O R T E Written By: A N N A B E R E N D S

Being in my final year of WHS, I would not be happy if I had not addressed the issue of practical music assessments before leaving. For me, these days are now (fortunately) over, however, I am all too aware that students from years 7-9 are still subject to this distressing ordeal on a termly basis.

I understand that music assessments may be enjoyable if you are of a musical disposition, but for those who are musically challenged, who may have never even taken an individual music lesson, the prospect of risking your carefully constructed reputation is like the thought of being caught in the Year 7 lunch-time crush: a thoroughly frightening prospect.

were embraced and sing-alongs encouraged. Likewise, music performances spawned the radicals: shout-out to activist Aoife Wall who was once marched to Mrs Hanbury’s office for refusing to participate in the elitist institution, managing to survive the wrath (and chairs) of the dictator otherwise known Mr Webb.

In the end, I chose not to force others to endure the pain of my singing, instead struggling through a rendition of the Harry Potter theme tune on the piano. (In case you’re wondering, sadly you don’t gain any extra marks for playing in the unique style of only one finger.)

Firstly for students like me, who enter Year 7 with no musical talent whatsoever, the practical music assessment is something to dread. I cannot play any instruments, and seeing as my parents were not prepared to fund my sudden interest in the bassoon, I was left with no option: it would have to be singing. Thankfully I did not have to face this horrific prospect alone, with ‘Fight For This Love’, ‘My Heart Will Go On’ and ‘Because Of You’ all being class favourites (though which all still regularly haunt my dreams).

There is of course, another logical reason as to why music assessments should be abolished. Surely, exams are supposed to assess us on what we have learnt from our teachers during the course of the year? Considering during school music lessons we are not taught how to play any instruments or sing, how are practical music assessments justified?

I remember all too well the trauma of my first music assessment. The frightening thought of singing not only out of tune, but also out of time to my carefully selected, karaoke version, YouTube backing track called for drastic measures: an emergency trip to Nurse Jenny. However like many before, the dreaded thermometer exposed my true motives, and I was sent back on the walk of shame to musical prison.

I think it is fair to say that musical assessments are unfair and impractical and should therefore be discontinued. This is not to say however, that music in the school should be discouraged. There are those who love the thrill of performing, and they should rightly have the opportunity to showcase their talent to a crowd, but isn’t that what concerts are for? The music department just has to accept that not everyone is a Mozart in the making, or for that matter, even wants to be.

Unlike others, the term ‘YOLO’ would not suffice. For those brave warriors costume changes and dance routines

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We all know that Tuesday afternoon feeling: you’re already inundated with work, the weekend seems a distant reality and the last thing you want to do is hang around after school to watch another school concert.

D O N ’T B E A SCHOOL SCROOGE Written By: PA N S Y D OY L E

Try picturing it from a different perspective.

If you’re performing in that concert you also know that Tuesday afternoon feeling. You’re tired, you have an unthinkable workload but you have the added pressure of performing in a concert. You’ve been slaving away at lunch twice a week in orchestra, or arriving at school at the crack of dawn (8 am) to sing in choir, wired only on coffee, for the last few weeks.

Now imagine this - it’s finally your time to exhibit all this hard work, you step out in the Rutherford to give the performance of a lifetime. Heart pounding, hands clammy, you look out to the audience and are greeted by a sea of empty seats and a few familiar faces (thank you parents). You feel the adrenaline seep away and you start to think, what is it all for?

Why bother if no one else does?

If you haven’t come to watch a music concert at WHS then you haven’t been able to witness the incredible talent coming out of the music department this term. There’s so much more to hear than the anticipated pitchy flute solos and violin concerto that goes on one hour too long. Music at Wimbledon High is great. If you’re not around the music department often, you don’t know about the weeks of practice and hard work put in by the staff and students. Sure, you may have overheard the dulcet tones of the orchestra or choir in the senior hall, but it is also worth seeing the individuals and smaller ensembles showcase their talent.

The performers have to juggle their work and other extra-curricular commitments, but they still manage to give up their Tuesdays, so why can’t you? What are you really doing at 7pm? The likelihood is that that history essay has been flung to the side in despair and you’re sitting on the sofa watching Friends for the hundredth time. If you are actually in the library then congratulations, I commend you. But seriously, where’s the school spirit?

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UNCONQUERED PEAKS INTERVIEWS

MRS McDOWELL On her favourite musicals, actresses and why the industry is so hard to crack for females.

Interview By: N AT T Y H E N N E S S Y

Do you have a favourite play/musical?

As well as this, we are so overwhelmed with talented girls who deserve the opportunity to be involved in drama - why

I always love the musical that I am planning to do next!

should they be pushed out by boys? I want as many people

Although by the time it’s over I never want to hear it again.

as possible to know the joy of performing and the satisfaction

However, ‘Into the Woods’ is very close to my heart as is

that comes from the preparation and commitment. And I

pretty much anything by Stephen Sondheim. And I will

know that for performances within our school community,

never forget when I saw the original cast performing the

our girls can portray (the often much better written and

finale of Act 1 of ‘Les Miserables’ (a long time ago now!!).

developed) male characters without it spoiling the dramatic

As for plays - well ‘Our Town’ is a real favourite, as is

outcome. Where else would our aspiring female actors get the

pretty much anything by Arthur Miller. There are some

opportunity to play parts such as King Lear and Macbeth?

challenging plays written by Martin Crimp (the father of an

Any stage space in this school should be filled by you!

ex WHS student) which are also great to watch, although I haven’t been brave enough to try and stage one myself yet.

Simon McBurney generally takes my breath away. And there

How do you pick the musical? Do you ever take a year group’s ability into account?

is always Punchdrunk!! Wow.

With the Senior Musical we do like to offer a challenge and it

Anything devised by a company called Complicite led by

is important to consider how best we can stretch the cohort

Do you have an actress who inspires you?

we have, whilst at the same time be sure we can actually achieve excellence in the very limited time available to us

Imelda Staunton is fantastic! And I have totally loved

during the Autumn term.

everything I have seen Tamsin Greig do on tv and in the theatre. Also Olivia Colman! All these women can play

You may have noticed that recently, we have done a lot of year

comedy and deep personal tragedy equally brilliantly. Emma

9 and 10 musicals involving big dance numbers as we have

Thompson is also great, although I think we can all agree that

the wonderful Aggie as our Theatre Assistant who loves to

she has made some poor decisions!

choreograph, but the first thing we look at when choosing the Summer show is what is current and whether the shows are

For our shows in the past we used to collaborate with KCS, why did that stop?

actually available to license ( it costs us £1000 before we even

Initially I thought it was a good idea, having just come from a

factor is how many bodies we can physically fit on the stage as

mixed school. However, it ended up that our girls were being

we look to include as many as possible. Finally it is important

called for very long rehearsals in order to play supporting

that it is a fun and upbeat show to celebrate the end of the

roles in the very male oriented shows - and their time was

School year.

start, just to have the rights to stage the shows and we’re not just allowed to do any show we like). The next important

not being treated with appropriate respect (I have to add this was in the days before the wonderful Mr Cross took over the Drama Dept up at King’s).

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I love watching students blossom.

Very often we will cast students in roles that will really stretch or develop their skills

Do you think in the acting industry it is harder for women to become successful than men?

their skills and in the early years they are not the ‘finished article’, but the process ultimately leads them closer to that.

Many of our students do not desire to have careers on stage

Due to the greater ratio of girls to boys aiming for places

and we understand that, so although I’m not averse to anyone

at Drama schools, it is very competitive, but beyond that I

coming to our shows I feel strongly that they are about the

honestly think at the highest level auditions are as tough

whole group working together to create something perfect

for the best men as they are for the best women. Women do

for us and our audience, rather than showcasing individuals at

have less freedom when they get older as the range of parts

the cost of the artistic integrity of what we can produce as a

available, and the age flexibility is less forgiving for women.

whole group.

(I mean Bill Nighy - however brilliant - was far too old for ‘Skylight’ really).

Some people might argue that musical theatre is of less value than plays - what would you say to that?

Do you find it difficult to direct plays with more ‘adult’ themes on a school stage without taking away its authenticity?

I do think that some musicals have trite plots and appallingly sentimental and simple messages to convey. (Mind you – so

I always try hard not to change too much from the original

do many plays) However, the use of music in performance can

script. I believe it would be such a shame if it was adapted too

be extremely powerful and moving. For example, the work of

much then it was almost a different musical and under those

Stephen Sondheim is inspiring, his witty lyrics and beautiful

circumstances would just not choose to do the show at all.

music are used to undermine the usual ‘happily ever afters’ of

Also it would be irritating if we could only show it to the sixth

the less challenging works.

form, as I usually want everyone to come and watch the talent that we have at this school!

Finally, is there anything on at the moment which you would really like to see?

Would you ever consider asking a scout to watch our performances?

There is always something I want to see! I am dying to see this new musical called ‘If/then’ but there is a slight catch...

Because we are not a theatre school, I don’t think that is what

it’s in New York! Other than that, I’m hoping to get to ‘John’

we are about. Our shows are put on without the benefit of a

at the National– and if a touring production by a physical

massive budget and are actually specifically prepared for our

theatre group called Gecko comes our way soon I’ll definitely

community. I love watching students blossom. Very often we

want to see that.

will cast students in roles that will really stretch or develop

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M A R I A M A B D U L - R A Z E K’S WINNING BOOKFEST POEM:

THE MOST ASTOUNDING FAC T i once saw a scientist

the most ASTOUNDING fact that i

on television.

have ever known,

and she was speaking generally

she said,

about science things

is not a fact, specifically,

(being a scientist and knowing science

did you know,

things etc.)

she said,

and, speaking generally

that there are atoms in your body.

i am not a science

the presenter laughed.

the ones that make up the grass and

of course,

the sea and the sand and the forests

he said.

and the human

what else would my body be made of?

body.

*

these atoms came

person, and while i respect them, i do not have much interest in scientists or science things. so i went to switch the channel at the precise moment that the presenter sitting beside the scientist asked: what, in your opinion, is the most ASTOUNDING fact about the universe ? and this stopped me. because it is not often that television presenters

well, said the scientist, and i did not need to look at the television screen to know she was smiling. do you know where those atoms came from? well, said the presenter.

but the story of every atom on this planet.

from stars. * the presenter sat forward and so did i. * stars, continued the scientist, are mortal

and he did not say anything else.

like humans.

i snickered from my place in the

they die,

armchair

and, in their later years,

and the scientist smiled again.

are unstable.

ask such interesting questions,

it pains me a little to say it, but a star’s

and the scientist was pursing her lips in

death

a thoughtful way that made me think

is far more dramatic than a human’s.

i wanted to hear her answer

is it? asked the presenter.

to the interesting question. after a pause,

the scientist was looking at him still,

she did not look directly at the

and i felt strongly as though i was

camera,

listening in on a very private

but directly at the presenter.

conversation.

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So, I mostly wrote this poem because stars are pretty cool, and I’ve always thought that they are.

And then a few months ago now, I heard this awesome

And I thought it was an alright poem, so I entered it into

talk by this really great guy called Neil deGrasse Tyson

the Wimbledon BookFest Young Writers’ Competition,

(genuinely...this man is the embodiment of cool) and

and I guess they thought it was alright too, because I won.

Which was nice. So, yep. Happy reading!

he seemed to agree with me about stars being awesome because he basically said what my scientist says in

PS: A lot of people are wondering why I don’t use capital

this poem.

letters in this poem. The most honest answer is I don’t actually know. Maybe I’m hipster. Maybe I’m lazy.

I just, kind of, reworded it to make it sound more...

Maybe there’s a really good, clever reason that I just

you know. Poetic.

haven’t thought of yet.

it is, the scientist nodded. the stars

and later i switched the channel to

i am referring to,

something less scientific

she said,

and wondered if i should feel small,

collapsed and exploded a very long time ago, and scattered their enriched guts

tiny and insignificant in relation to the so, she said, smile still playing on

stars that collapsed and exploded and

across

her lips -

the entire universe.

threw themselves everywhere.

where do your atoms come from?

here, she paused, and her words caught

and that is how my mother found me,

from those gas clouds, said the

in my mind in a way that made me

sitting on the sofa.

presenter.

wonder

and she asked me what was

no, said the scientist.

if she was a scientist

from those stars.

or a poet. their guts, she said whilst sipping from a glass of water, were splayed across every

* every atom, every molecule, every inhale

wrong, and i said, nothing. i’m just a lot smaller than stars are. my mother is very literal woman. as such,

inch

and exhale and beat of your heart, is

of time and space.

traceable

her natural response was:

these guts were made of the

to the crucibles that cooked life itself.

of course you’re not. don’t you see how

fundamental ingredients

and you are sitting here and so am i and

small stars are?

of life and existence.

so are your viewers at home,

that’s only from a distance,

carbon and oxygen and nitrogen and

and we’re all in the universe, aren’t we?

i said.

hydrogen and all the

yes, said the presenter.

maybe you’re looking at yourself from a

rest of it.

but i’ll tell you what’s even better, the

distance too, she said.

all in the bellies of these stars that

scientist smiled wider.

flung themselves across the universe in

the universe is in us. your atoms and my

protest when it was their time to die. *

atoms and your camera men’s atoms

and she left the room and it is years later

came from those stars. you’re connected

now, but i still

and relevant without even having to try.

think about the scientist and what she

and then? asked the presenter.

you are made of stardust and the fabric

the scientist’s lips quirked upwards. and

of the universe.

then, she said.

that is the most ASTOUNDING fact

it all became parts of gas clouds.

i can tell you.

ones that condense and collapse and will

the presenter smiled and the scientist

form our next solar systems -

*

smiled wider and i smiled too,

said and my mother and what she said and the message they were both trying to get across.

billions of stars with billions of planets to

and i still see the presenter on television.

orbit them.

and i still think that the stars

and these planets have the ingredients

are very big

of life sewed into the very fabric

but now i think,

of their own lives.

they are in me.

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DID IT EVEN HAPPEN? Written By: M AT H I L DA C H R I S T E N S S O N

I pass through the archway outlining the perfectly sculpted symmetrical masterpiece… the Taj Mahal.

Or rather a swarm of people lit up by the abundance of flashes from cameras.

I push my way through the crowd to get to the central position in front of the Taj – a place where you have the best view of the illuminated sea blue fountains, flawlessly trimmed gardens and glowing white pillars – our tour guide’s insight chimes in my head ‘a teardrop on the face of eternity’. I stand there for a second taking in one of the wonders of the world but my daydreaming is interrupted. ‘I am trying to take a photo – can you get out of my frame?’ ‘can I borrow your sunglasses to wear for my shot?’ ‘you’ll take one? Just press that button’.

moment. Instead of being distracted by focusing, getting that obstinate yellow square to clarify the shot, and making sure that the person’s head doesn’t block the singer again, we should sing along, dance like crazy and let our hair down.

By trying to capture the experience we are inevitably diluting it and by putting it on social media, it is no longer exclusive to us; all our friends, followers, subscribers now own our moments – they can be shared, duplicated and downloaded.

In the past, we used diaries, scrapbooks and photo albums to record our memories. This was a creative process, it allowed People do not seem to know what to do anymore when time for reflection and was optional for the public eye. Now, they are encountered with something you can show where you are, what renowned. It appears to have become you are doing and who you are within By trying to capture more important to be seen with a seconds. Raising another question – how landmark than actually see it. It much longer can our actions remain the experience we are has to be documented and, more private? And how much longer can we inevitably diluting it and control how we are perceived? commonly, it has to be published on Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat. by putting it on social My sister met Taylor Lautner recently And there never is only one photo – at a party at her university – first thing media, it is no longer perfecting the angling, zoom, and, most I commented on her status was: ‘no problematically, your facial expression, exclusive to us photo? It didn’t happen’. I was trying pose and, of course, the hair – means to be witty (it did actually get 14 that there practically has to be a photo likes…) but, reflecting on it now, I was shoot. Don’t get me wrong, I value the importance of marking confirming that seeing visual evidence makes more of an your experiences, and photos are the easiest and most impact. Without realising it, photos confirm friendships, mark effective way of remembering what you have seen and done. events, clarify statements - hearing about something is less But are we losing the element of being in the moment? believable than seeing it.

At concerts, people will stand filming, aiming to capture Technology has offered our generation unimaginable all their favourite songs, so they can go home and relive the opportunities and benefits, and, despite having ranted about experience again and again. When I saw Beyonce live, she it, I have fallen prey to all of the above (on my Facebook asked for the crowd to put their phones and cameras away, you’ll see at least five photos of me with the Taj Mahal). Yet she wanted people to feel the music in the here and now, it is still necessary to address the importance of not being watch it with their eyes, not through a lens. Once again consumed by the photo culture. Make the living version of Queen B gives some valuable life lessons – by filming and taking photos, we lose the immediacy and intimacy of the you to be remembered, not the social media fabrication.

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UNCONQUERED PEAKS

REVIEWS take obviously Egyptian characters from a tale set in Egypt

EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS

and give them to white actors. Many have defended the film

R eview By: M I A F E N TO N

saying that it was a case of picking the best actors, but it

The film is undeniably excellent in what it intends to do, for the most part it is beautifully shot and incredibly exciting.

is hard to believe there wasn’t a single Egyptian actor that was worthy of the action film. It is not so long since Frozen claimed that having no non-white characters was acceptable due to the ‘realism’ needed when telling a tale set in a Nordic country, so why is one rule acceptable for one film and the opposite true for another? It seems a little like we are making

As an action movie it cannot be heavily faulted. However what is unavoidably obvious throughout the movie is the fact that none of the actors are Egyptian. I say none of them, the background characters are of course all Egyptian or African for ‘realism’ but no one with any significant lines to say is remotely Egyptian at all. In a society where most non-white actors struggle to find roles outside of their racial stereotypes it seems to be a kick in the teeth to

the rules up to justify our subtle racism. I personally sit on the ‘realism’ side of the fence and believe Frozen was justified in its all-white cast (although the animators could have drawn at least one non-white person) I do not think Exodus is justified at all. This doesn’t mean it’s a bad film, but it does lose serious respect. By all means watch it if you want, but you could easily live your life having not seen it and perhaps a boycott is the only way to get the bigwigs to listen.

(although glitter is thrown over the stalls, which is lovely), which means that some children may find it harder to sit through the two and a half hour running time. Ultimately though, the clever special effects and engaging characters make the time fly. The acting is incredible, comical in a believable way, whilst using the correct accents for the nationalities of the characters. The music itself has received criticism, as only one of the songs from the 1971 film was used (Pure Imagination), and many feel that the new score does not match it in quality. On reflection I can see this point of view, but I do feel that the original songs would not have worked for the stage and in time I think that the new score will be treasured. Most importantly though, the feel of the play was exactly right, and it played on the heartstrings just as much as it did on reading the book for the first time, something which was not completely achieved by either film.

The audience was clearly engaged, and cheered unprompted as Charlie unwrapped his Golden Ticket. The standing ovation it received was truly well deserved, and I have high hopes that it will continue to delight children and adults alike for many years to come.

CHARLIE AND THE C H O CO L AT E FAC TO RY THE MUSICAL R eview By: F LO A S H B E E

Adapting for the stage a book which has been loved for 50 years and made into two highly successful films seems like a truly mammoth task.

But for Academy and Golden Globe winning director Sam Mendes it has certainly been a task completed superbly. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory the Musical maintains the whimsical charm present in the book and 1971 film and combines it with cleverly inventive staging and puppetry to create an experience that is delightful both to old fans and new generations. Whilst being aimed at children it relies on the story onstage rather than direct contact with the audience 13

LIVING

H A N N A H’S P H I L O S O P H I C A L M U S I N G S

THE 93 Written By: H A N N A H B U R T

Everyday 35 million people use public transport. I am one of these 35 million and although this makes me seem ludicrously insignificant, it also makes me feel oddly special. them? Is it simply boredom from the commute that causes our minds to wander?

You see, I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to observe and attempt to understand the thousands of people who pass by me each day. An impossible task perhaps, but still my brain never ceases to stop watching these people on my commute. Who are they? Where are they from? Where are they going? What do they do?

Furthermore, why do we internalise all of this? We all know it is custom for us grumpy, self-absorbed Londoners not to speak to each other, despite the fact that you may see these people more often than you do your siblings at university.

Like your strong coffee and daily Metro, they become an essential part of your morning commute. If people were friendlier, or maybe even spoke to each other, our daily routine could be made less boring. I could gently suggest Woman With Wet Hair set her alarm clock half an hour earlier, or Hot King’s Boy might turn out only a few months younger than me. Seriously, even, Man With The Grey Suit, although most probably a city banker, might actually turn out to be an MI5 agent.

Recently, I’ve realised that all these anonymous people are in fact, not so anonymous at all. They’ve become characters in my morning entertainment: Man In The Grey Suit On A Foldable Bike, Woman With Wet Hair Who Wakes Up Late Too Late To Dry It, and even Hot King’s Boy (Who Is Unfortunately In The Year Below.)

Each morning, like a pro commuter, I rush to claim my seat on the top deck of the bus; sad maybe, but we have our reasons. The height, for example, is advantageous for observing the spectacle below (and for hiding when Hot King’s Boy catches you staring). If someone took my seat (second seat from the back, right hand of the bus) I would be left feeling irrationally irritated, having to relinquish ‘the best seat in the house’.

However, maybe it is better, more fun, to just not know, to remain anonymous and make assumptions. Despite what schools may suggest, there is no need to always know the answers to the questions ‘why, what, when, where, how.’ 35 million Londoners commute each day, so sit back and enjoy what each of them brings to your morning.

This reaction got me thinking. Why are we so fascinated by others? Why do we feel the need to judge and categorise

Why are we so fascinated by others? Why do we feel the need to judge and categorise them? Is it simply boredom from the commute that causes our minds to wander?

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LIVING

NO MAKEUP ALLOWED! ( W E D O N’T W A N T T O W E A R I T A N Y W A Y ) Written By: I S H I K A S H A R M A

Although I am a strong believer in the many talents of makeup: the way it can enhance your natural beauty and boost one’s confidence, here at WHS, grades, fashion and coffee seem to be higher on the priority list.

Coming from another all girls school in year 12 where wearing makeup to school was the norm, my expectations were that it was going to be a similar situation at Wimbledon High. This was not the case.

Don’t get me wrong, the girls of Wimbledon High are beautifully presented, but they seem to be so at ease flaunting their smooth, yet makeup-less faces. The benefits of this are endless, from letting your skin free from the prison of harsh chemicals, to getting into bed earlier as you don’t need that 15 minute makeup removal and cleansing regime. The all-girls environment paired with a collective effort to stay away from the cosmetics, creates a pressure-free atmosphere which I have loved and taken full advantage of.

It seems as though makeup has been left in our ‘party’ drawers, to be used on a Friday, Saturday, and most definitely not Sunday. The sudden realisation that this could save an infinite amount of time, stress and above all, money, I decided to try the no makeup look myself. After the first two days worrying that people were looking at my horribly blemished skin, I began to see that it was actually all in my head, and that people didn’t really care about the spot on my forehead, or the lack of mascara on my eyes. When I learnt to overcome this, I realised that wearing less makeup and feeling comfortable in your own skin is one of the most empowering feelings out there.

My previous opinions were of the idea that makeup, used as a device to enhance the natural beauty of our facial features, can be a tool to heighten our confidence, self-assurance and ultimately, happiness. The belief that if you look beautiful on the outside, you will feel beautiful on the inside is a concept that I still feel works for many people. However, the error is in the pressure to wear it. It should be a personal choice, but in many situations and work environments it has become associated with ‘hiding’ our bad features, tiredness and blemishes.

The inclination to routinely apply makeup each morning is plain wrong and the girls of Wimbledon High were way ahead of me on this.

It seems as though the Wimbledonian attitude follows the principles of Mr Brewer’s acronym ‘FITNE’ (if you don’t know, don’t worry), allowing us to brave it, fresh faced to school everyday. The strive for perfection is a futile game to play, a concept hard to accept for us stereotypically perfectionist girls, yet the girls of WHS have aced it. With Spring/Summer 2015 marking the trend of the ‘no makeup look’, championed by models and fashion icons all over the world, it seems as though the conventionally boring ‘no makeup’ rule at school has made a fashionable turn, and everyone at WHS is right on trend.

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LIVING

WE HAD OUR CAKE A N D AT E I T A quick charity update from Charity R ep: J J T H O M P S O N

It was that time of year again, pans were burnt and eggs were cracked as up to fourteen WHS sixth formers with varied baking experience huddled into each lucky kitchen (which was usually left entirely coated with a thin dusting of icing sugar).

The voted theme this year was “Myths and Magic”, and was most definitely interpreted differently by each form - from Greek Myths, to Top Hats, to a Pot of Gold, the sixth formers proved their imaginations as the common room was filled with cake mountains and the smell of sugar. A line was formed all the way down the spiralling stairs of the sixth form house as the hungry year 12s and 13s waited, forks poised, for the judging to end so that the much anticipated cake-eating could begin. When the tense wait was over, the stampede was called in to hear the results; best decoration went to RMA’s professional looking witches cauldron, best taste to MWB’s Rapunzel carrot cake, the teamwork prize to DNG’s many-element ‘rabbit out of a hat’ bake, and the best overall to CMD’s fairy village. The twelve show-stopper cakes were quickly reduced to small piles of icing as each sixth former attempted to try all of them - something which only a few managed the challenge of completing.

The icing on the cake however, is that all this wasn’t just for fun, as every sixth former donated £1 to our chosen charity Cancer Research. With more than one in three people developing some form of cancer in our lifetime, and many of us already having been affected by cancer in some way, we decided as a sixth form that we wished to help fundraise towards finding a cure. We also raised over £210 for Macmillan through participating in their coffee morning, proving the sixth form has had a fantastic (and unusually cake-orientated!) start to fundraising this year. Mrs Lunnon’s Autumn assembly on cake, and its importance in bringing people together, particularly resonated with us, as well as proving her knowledge of a WHS girl’s love for cake. I think it is fair to say from the bonding between the new year 12s and the year 13s that this is indeed true - regardless of the results, every form had at least one wild story to tell of their cake-making process, making it another victorious year all-round for the bake off.

And now you can too…

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LIVING

M W B’S W I N N I N G CARROT CAKE RECIPE (Adapted from the Hummingbird Bakery recipe)

INGREDIENTS For the Cake:

1/4tsp vanilla extract

300g soft light brown sugar

300g carrots, grated

3 eggs

100g shelled walnuts, chopped

300ml sunflower oil

(plus extra chopped and whole to decorate)

300g plain flour

For the Cream Cheese Frosting:

1tsp bicarbonate of soda

600g icing sugar, sifted

1tsp baking powder

100g unsalted butter (at room temp)

1tsp ground cinnamon (plus extra to decorate)

250g cream cheese, cold

1/2tsp ground ginger 1/2tsp salt

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING METHOD

EQUIPMENT Three 20cm cake tins (base lined with greaseproof paper)

1. Beat the icing sugar and butter in a stand mixer.

2. Add the cream cheese (in one go) and beat until completely incorporated.

CAKE METHOD 1. Preheat the oven to 170ºC (325ºF)

3. Continue beating on medium-high speed for about 5 mins taking care not to over beat as it can become runny quite quickly.

2. Mix the sugar, eggs and oil together in a stand mixer making sure they are incorporated well (hand mixer will work just as well, as I’m sure would a food processor).

ASSEMBLING THE CAKE

3. Gradually add the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon, ginger, salt and vanilla extract.

1. When the cakes are cold, place one on a cake stand and spread about a quarter of the frosting over it.

4. Stir in the walnuts and grated carrots until they are evenly distributed (stir these in by hand – not with the mixer)

2. Place the second tier on top and spread another quarter of frosting over it.

5. Pour the mixture into pre prepared tins, bake in the oven 170ºC for 20-25 minutes then allow to cool on a wire rack.

3. Top with the last cake. Spread the remaining frosting over the top and sides. Finish decorating with walnuts and a light sprinkling of cinnamon.

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R A N D A L L’ S RANDOM RANTS Written By: K AT E R A N DA L L

Now we’re well submerged, or dare I say it, drowning, in the work which year 13 has heaped upon us, I won’t be too surprised if several of you have forgotten what you did in Autumn half term, or even how to pronounce the word ‘holiday’.

3

But it’s OK! Admittedly, I would be telling an absolute whopper if I said that those two and a half awesome weeks in the middle of autumn when getting up at 10.30am instead of 6.45am is the norm weren’t my thing. Nor do I wish to sound ungrateful for the lovely night away in Stratford-upon-Avon my parents organised for the Randall clan this year. However, spending 48 hours solely in the company of my family, for the first time since July, brought with it a fresh recognition of all those Slightly Irritating Things Which Only Seem To Happen On Minor Family Breaks. After this I came to realise that these are the sort of petty annoyances which we forget about until we actually hit the road/runway/ railway line (well, hopefully not the actual line). Yet fear not, for here I aim to put a stop to this by presenting to you the definitive List Of Things To Watch Out For When You Go On Holiday With Your Family, with the hope that you can refer to it next time you’re about to jet off on your travels and remind yourself what you’re really being let in for.

“Let’s go for a walk! Come on, we love walks, we haven’t come away to sit inside all day! You can’t just sit in here all afternoon!” Wrong, so wrong. Potentially, I could: there is something so much more interesting about the TV on the hotel wall than the TV at home, even though the channels are exactly the same…But anyway, the real question is: since when were our parents so obsessed with going for walks? Walking to somewhere is legit; ‘going for a walk’ is definitely not. Although this is not actually top on the list of my personal grumbles (sorry, I’ve gone a bit Mrs Hutchinson), I feel I represent the majority of ‘young people’ (((((cringe))))) in saying this.

4

“Like can everyone please just keep their passports and not lose them, it’s not that hard.” Accurate words of Helena Stone, Year 13, who agreed that this is the root of 99% airportrelated problems. If there is someone out there whose says their Mum/little brother/Granny has never left their passport/boarding card/luggage in McDonalds/Duty Free/the pocket of the plane seat in front, then tbh they’re probably lying.

1

The Middle Seat, an evil which anybody who comes from a family with 3 or more children will recognise. I can say without hesitance that it is my least favourite part of the Randallmobile. It’s OK, we have a fair system in which my siblings and I rotate seats each journey so we all spend an equal amount of time in it, SAID NO ONE EVER. Seat allocation between my two brothers and I at the start of each journey always seems to descend into some horrific scramble bearing considerable resemblance to The Hunger Games. I’m pretty sure we’re not the only family where this happens. The sense of defeat when you lose out on the superior outer seats is equally as powerful as the elation felt when you manoeuvre (or punch) your way to victory.

5

That conversation between you and your parents on a day out that occurs sometime after lunch, because they forced you to put on a coat in the morning but then halfway through the walk you got too hot so you took it off but for some reason it’s really heavy and clearly it’s their fault so why can’t they carry it for you?!?!?!? Especially as they’re already carrying your brother’s hoodie!!!!!! What do you mean, I’m 18?! SO?! For some reason, this only seems to happen on holiday- we lose our ability to carry anything excess, including empty water bottles, guidebooks, and Shakespeare-related merchandise.

2

Brushing your teeth at the same time as other people.

Allow it, I’m well up for the communal life of sharing bedrooms and bathrooms and that, especially if its only for one night. But when you’re blissfully brushing your teeth alone tonight take a moment to be grateful that you’re not about to suffer an awful but inevitable collision. You know the one: when your impatient sibling lunges in to spit in the sink at exactly the same time your toothbrush goes under the tap for more water…disaster.

So anyway, that skiing holiday you were talking about? And your visit to the Birmingham cousins this half-term?

Yeh, have fun! Aww I joke, these are only precautions! xoxo P.S Though seriously dudes, watch out.

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S TA F F LOOKALIKES

Stevi Ritchie, The X Factor and Mr Bristow

Sam Robertson, Actor and Mr Cawsey

THE GOOD DEED FEED “A big thank you to Tiare Marano (7B) who made me a batch of play dough in science club when I was ill and couldn’t go. It really made my day.”

“Shoutout to Chloe Cooper who always picked up my Macbeth script every time I left it in the Rutherford after rehearsal.”

“Thanks to my little sister Nella Tee (9G) who covered my locker in pictures and messages on my birthday. It was really quite special.”

GEORGIA NORONHA-MASSEY 7B

KATE RANDALL

ISSY TEE

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COMIC STRIPS Illustrated by: K AT E R A N DA L L

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THE 5 WORST THINGS T H AT H A P P E N AT W H S

2 1 That thing when you cut through the Year 8/9 Locker Room to go to the loo and you checkin’ your sweet self out in the mirror but a Year 8 catches you and you walk away coughing a little bit like nothing happened.

When you’ve only been at WHS for 2 years but your class gets told for the fourth time that you’re going on an absolutely necessary school trip to Box Hill. You sadly realise that you are more familiar the width and erosion patterns of the footpaths there than you are with the layout of the Humanities rooms along the balcony (J?K?L? Who knows?

And WHY, WHY, is Geography held in H and History in G?!?!).

3 When you unexpectedly win a Contribution to School Life award and you have to walk up to the front in end-of-term assembly and you suddenly forget how to walk.

4

5

When you come in late to assembly, get told off by Ms Johnson, have to sit behind the bit of wall that sticks out where the 2 halves of the Senior Hall join so you can’t see or hear anything anyway, but can’t doze off either because there will be a teacher, usually Mr Brewer, watching you from the back bench.

When the normal gate for some reason isn’t open at the end of the day, usually a Wednesday, and the human traffic is diverted right across the front of the school and a massive bottleneck builds up at the Reception gate and a teacher usually nearly runs over about 17 people coming through with their car at the same time *sigh*.

THE 5 BEST THINGS T H AT H A P P E N AT W H S

1

3

When there’s a Physics teacher sitting

And here’s one especially for us lucky minority

in Physics 1 and you’re strolling past

possessing exeats: when the normal gate is

at them and do as much as humanly

2

MIDDLE OF THE DAY and when you come out

possible to distract them then run away

When the teacher doesn’t get

of the 6th Form House you run down the stairs

because they can’t do anything about

their act together at the start

to it in case someone comes and shuts it in

it (sixth formers: works especially well if

of the new term and forgets to

that time that it takes you to get there. Shaves

there’s a GCSE class in progress #bant).

organise a seating plan, so your

a solid 5 minutes off your excursion to Pret.

the window outside and you can wave

4

gang can shotgun a huddle of desks in the back corner and rule the school yoloswag.

RANDOMLY and MIRACULOUSLY open in the

5

When you come into the canteen

When Nursery Road gets flooded

halfway through break because a

(God bless the British weather, sorry

teacher kept you behind but there’s

not sorry) and you get a notice in

still some of the good pizza with

your form pigeonhole that PE’s

the pepperoni on it left.

gonna be held in Draxmont, YAY. 21

A TRIBUTE TO CHARLIE HEBDO

By Artist Lucille Clerc

Wimbledon High School Mansel Road, London SW19 4AB 020 8971 0900 • info@wim.gdst.net www.wimbledonhigh.gdst.net Head: Mrs Jane Lunnon