December 9, Your LGBT Guide to the Palm Springs Desert Area

DEC, 9 to DEC. 15, 2015

NEW BUSINESS

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LOCAL AND VISITORS PICKS

On going at The Desert Rose Playhouse“A Queer Carol”, our gay twist on the traditional story. Performance and ticket info at www.desertroseplayhouse.org or by calling our Box Office 760-202-30000. Also playing A Christmas Story - The Musical Palm Canyon Theatre 538 N Palm Canyon Dr, through December 20, 2015 07:00 PM tickets on line or at the door. Robolights!

1077 E. Granvia Valmnte now through January 03, 2016 4-9 daily.

SPECIAL EVENT DEC 16 The Desert Daily Guide and The Center invites you AND your four-legged family to join us at Paws and Claws on the spectacular outdoor space at Eight4Nine Restaurant & Lounge. From 5pm to 7pm, Santa & Mrs. Claus will be available to take pictures with your canine companions. Yummy treats for you and your furry friends will be available. FREE MORE DEC 11 The 84th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade – “The Magic of Christmas” – Featuring Marine Toys for Tots Foundation will be presented as a two-hour prime time special airing on The CW nationwide on Friday, December 11, 2015 starting at 8:00 p.m. Pacific/Eastern/7:00 p.m. Central. The iconic magicians and Las Vegas headliners, Penn & Teller, and stars of The CW’s hit series, “Fool Us,” will serve as this year’s Parade Grand Marshals.

DEC 11-13 Annual Pow Wow Winter Gathering Spotlight 29 Casino DEC 11 CANDID CAMERA: 8 Decades of 4

Smiles with Peter Funt! An hilarious evening of clips and quips. Indian Wells Theater 730 1-800-838-3006 DEC 11 PARK AFTER DARK The Living Desert after the lights go out? Bourbon Tasting!

DEC 12 Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest Toucans Tiki Lounge DEC 12 &13 The Palm Springs Gay Men Chorus presents Brassy, Classy, Sassy at the Jewish Community Center of Palm Springs DEC 12&13 Desert Art Festival presented by West Coast Artists Frances Stevens Park DEC 13 Barry Manilow -A Gift of Love III McCallum Theatre DEC 15 Palm Springs Chamber’s Holiday Mixer Eight4Nine Restaurant and Lounge DEC 16 “A Very Anxious Christmas” A Shann Carr Comedy Special Chill Bar DEC 16 LAINIE KAZAN LUMINARY LUNCHEON Tickets must be purchased in advance online, or by calling the CVRep Box Office. 760-296-2966 TO Dec 31Tesla is reinventing the car-buying experience and revolutionizing auto ownership Stop by learn about the benefits of owning an electric vehicle through interactive and enticing displays at the Gardens on El Paseo Street Happenings Palm Springs Certified Farmers’ Market 2300 Baristo Rd. STARTS December 5.

College of the Desert Street Fair 43500 Monterey Ave. Cruise-In Car Show Westfield Palm Desert 72-840 Highway 111.

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Inside This Week’s Issue MAP Page 39 “Daily What’s Happening” Page 12 22 AdamsArtExpos’e 20 Anatomy of DUI NEW 37 Business Directory 42 Classifieds 31 Desert Center For Sexual Awareness 40 Gay Resorts 34 GayDGets & Threads 38 GROUPS/HELP 48 Jersey’s Journal 32 Leather Realm 45 Massage Directory 41 I DID NOT KNOW! 37 Quote of the week 04 Weekender 50 that is funny 51 News in Briefs 43 The Center Schedule 38 Transgender notes 50 Weekly Guide to Stars

Happy Holidays from TOM and Peter from POSTAL Palm Springs Also Twin CITY Popcorn p24 and

Contact

Publisher: Will Paige Editor: Adrian Ayala

Sales 888-743-3349

Volume 21, Issue 21 Dec 9th - Dec 15th 2015

National Representatives Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Contributing Writers Jersey Shore, Will Paige, Adrian Ayala George Zander, Dave Murdock, Manuel J. Barba Contributing Photographers Marko Russell, Mike Thomas, Frank Failing, David Stanfield

Paws and Claws p29 a pet friendly benefit for the Center Desert Daily Guide is published by the

DDG Media Group.

Advertisers, or other interested persons may write to DDG Media Group, Activities and Entertainment Guide Division, Mailing and office address: 1717 E Vista Chino A7-480, Palm Springs, CA 92262 or call 888-743-3349 or 760-913-3340 or FAX 844-800-9700 Opinions expressed in the DDG columns do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the DDG, its staff, or its advertisers, with the exception of the Desert Daily Guide Editorial Staff. DDG is not responsible for claims made by its advertisers, or the products or services they offer. Listings, pictures, or advertisements in the DDG should not be construed to represent or reflect the sexual orientation of any business, its owners, or its staff. All events are subject to change without notice. Any omissions of events are not intentional. © 2015 DDG Media Group , Inc. All Rights Reserved. will@desertdailyguide.com

888-743-3349

DDG Media Group 1717 E Vista Chino A7-480 Palm Springs California 92262

Note: The DDG no longer uses the production facility at 531 Industrial Place 8 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.

How much is your desert home worth in today’s market?

The market has shifted, and home values have changed.

If you're thinking about selling in the desert, get your home's value report online for free.

www.ValueMyDesertHome.com THINKING ABOUT BUYING OR SELLING? I Can Help…

• Learn about the ambiance and energy of the local neighborhoods with a personalized buyer’s tour.

• Ask me about what’s happening in the local real estate market.

• What is your home worth? Get a free home value analysis with no obligation.

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carlborey@kw.com www.CarlBorey.com 435 N. Palm Canyon Drive Palm Springs, CA 92262 CalBRE 01975302 Each OfÞce Independently Owned and Operated

Search Homes Now! Download the HomeSnap MLS APP scan QR code or go to

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Featured Bars & Restaurants

Bongo Johnny’s Patio Bar & Grille Open Late and available for deliveries!

214 East Arenas Road, PS, CA (760) 866-1905 Tool Shed - Leather Bar 600 E Sunny Dunes Rd , PS, CA (760) 320-3299 10:00 am – 2:00 am

The Barracks - Leather Bar 67625 E. Palm Canyon Dr. , CC,CA 2:00 pm – 2:00 am Score - Local Bar 301 E Arenas Rd , PS, CA (760) 327-0753 6:00 am – 2:00 pm Legends of Palm Springs - Local Bar 125 E Tahquitz Canyon Way , PS, CA (760) 656-8680 11:00 am – 12:00 am Oscar’s Cafe & Bar - Inside/Outside 125 E Tahquitz Canyon Way, PS, CA (760) 325-1188 11:00 am – 9:00 pm Pinocchio In the Desert - Rest. & Bar 134 East Tahquitz Canyon Way, PS, CA (760) 322-3776 7:30 am – 2:00 pm Rio Azul - Mexican Style Rest. and Bar (760) 992-5641 350 South Indian Cyn, PS, CA Sunshine Cafe - Family Style Rest.

36815 Cathedral Canyon Drive, CC, CA (760) 328-1415 6:00 am – 9:00 pm

More Bars & Restaurants SpurLine (760) 778-4326

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200 S Indian Canyon Dr , PS, CA Toucan’s Tiki Lounge (760) 416-7584 2100 N. Palm Canyon Dr. , PS, CA Streetbar (760) 320-1266 224 E Arenas Rd , PS, CA DiGS (760) 321-0031 36-737 Cathedral Canyon Dr. , CC, CA Georgie’s Alibi (760) 325-5533 369 N Palm Canyon Dr , PS CA Studio One 11 (760) 328-2900 67555 E. Palm Canyon Dr. , CC, CA Chill bar (NEW) (760) 537-0172 217 E Arenas , PS, CA Hunters Palm Springs 10AM - 7:00 PM 302 E Arenas Rd , Palm Springs, CA Cafe Palette 315 East Arenas Road, PS, CA

BINGO

Score Sat. 12pm Tool Shed Wed. 12PM 0-69 Bingo Legends of Palm Springs Sat. 2PM

KARAOKE Tryst Wednesday 9pm

POOL

Tool Shed Free Pool 6pm-2am Tues.

Thurs. 7pm & Sun. 3PM 8 Ball tournament Barracks Mon 7pm

FOOD AFTER MIDNIGHT Bongo Johnny’s Patio Bar & Grille Open until 3AM Friday & Saturday

HAPPY HOUR

Tryst Everyday til 8p Oscars - Mon-Fri 2p-7p Score - Everyday 6a-8p Tool Shed - Mon-Fri 10a-8p S&S 8a-8p Pinocchio - Everyday 7:30a-2p Rio Azul - Wed-Sun 4p-7p Barracks - Mon-Sat 2p-2p Sun Bev Bus Bongo Johnny’s Patio Bar & Grille 5$ Bottomless Mimosas w/food purchase

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WEDNESDAY, DEC 9TH

6:00 AM Score Happy Hour til 8 PM Score $2 Rolling Rock Bottles all day Sunshine Cafe Breakfast Special Chili Relleno & Eggs $9.75, Lunch Special Bacon Guacamole Cheeseburger $10.95 7:30 AM Pinocchio Everyday Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis

9:00 AM Bongo Johnny’s Patio Bar and Grille Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner $5 Mimosas All Day, Every day!

10:00 AM Tool Shed Happy Hour until 8:00pm; $3 Jager Shots All Day Long 12:00 PM Tool Shed The Original O-69 Bingo at 12 Noon 2:00 PM Barracks Happy Hour to 8PM Legends of Palm Springs 2-4-1 Happy Hour 2 to 7 PM 3:00 PM Oscars Happy Hour 3-7PM Sunshine Cafe Dinner Special Chicken Enchiladas $12.95 4:00 PM Legends of Palm Springs Trivia 5:00 PM Rio Azul Happy Hour 5-7 PM 6:00 PM Legends of Palm Springs Karaoke Jo 6 PM to 10 PM 8:00 PM Barracks Underwear Night 9:00 PM Tool Shed Wet Weds !$3 Jagermeister and fireball shots all day

and Eggs $10.25, Lunch Special Meatloaf or Meatloaf Sandwich $9.75 7:30 AM Pinocchio Everyday Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis 9:00 AM Bongo Johnny’s 10:00 AM Tool Shed Happy Hour until 8:00pm 11:00 AM Oscars 11a - 9 p 2:00 PM Barracks Happy Hour to 8PM Oscars Happy Hour to 7PM Legends of Palm Springs Happy Hour to 2-7 3:00 PM Sunshine Cafe Daily Dinner Special $9.95 5:00 PM Rio Azul Happy Hour from 5 PM To 7 PM Street Fair Crispy Tacos $2 6:00 PM Palm Springs Village Fest 7:00 PM Tool Shed 8-Ball Tournament 8:00 PM Barracks SPANK! Fetish Social Night Tool Shed Underwear Night 10:00 PM Barracks THRUST featuring Art with his men and DJ Mixtress Victoria

FRIDAY, DEC 11TH

6:00 AM Score Happy Hour til 8 PM Score $7 Belvedere Vodka all day Sunshine Cafe Breakfast Special California Chipotle Benedict $10.50, Lunch Special Fish and Chips $10.25 7:30 AM Pinocchio Everyday Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis 6:00 AM 9:00 AM Score Happy Hour til 8 PM Bongo Johnny’s Score $4 Budweiser 25 ounce cans all day 10:00 AM Sunshine Special Carneand Asada Visit Cafe us atBreakfast desertdailyguide.com Like usTool on Facebook.com/desertdailyguide 13 Shed Happy Hour til 8pm

THURSDAY, DEC 10TH

Legends of Palm Springs Happy Hour from 11 to 7 PM Score12:00 Noon Bingo

11:00 AM Oscars 11 - 10 2:00 PM Barracks Happy Hour to 8PM Oscars Happy Hour to 7PM Legends of Palm Springs 2p - 7:30p 3:00 PM Sunshine Cafe Daily Dinner Special $9.95 5:00 PM Bongo Johnny’s Bar and Grille Dinner Special BBQ Spare Ribs 15.95 Rio Azul House Margarita $5 Hunters FUR 7:00 PM Barracks Fund Raisers & Cruise Night Spurline show tunes 8:00 PM Streetbar VJ Rob Roberts

SATURDAY, DEC 12TH

6:00 AM Score Happy Hour until 8 PM Sunshine Cafe Breakfast Special Pork Chili Verde Omelet or burrito $9.95 or salmon Benedict $10.95 7:30 AM Pinocchio Everyday Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis

8:00 AM Bongo Johnny’s

Oscars 8a -10p Brunch until 2 PM $5 Bloody Mary’s, $9 Bottomless Mimosas Tool Shed Happy Hour til 8pm; Rehab with Doctor Tom until 2 PM 11:00 AM

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1:00 PM Legends of Palm Springs $3 Holler - Beer, Hot Dog, & Chips till 5pm 2:00 PM Legends Bingo Barracks Happy Hour to 8 PM DiGS MARM-A-RAMA Spin the Wheel Drinks 3:00 PM Sunshine Cafe Daily Dinner Special $9.95 5:00 PM Bongo Johnny’s Bar and Grille Dinner Special BBQ Prime Rib 16.95 Rio Azul House Margaritas $5 7:00 PM DiGS Country Western Roundup!

8:00 PM Streetbar VJ Rob Roberts Spurline show tunes 10:00 PM

Toucans DJ GoGO Boys

SUNDAY, DEC 13TH

6:00 AM Score Happy Hour til 8 PM Score $4 Cucumber or Southern Mary all day 7:00 AM Sunshine Cafe Breakfast Special Eggs Benedict $10.25 7:30 AM Pinocchio Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis. Get a Martini BURGER! 8:00 AM Oscars 8a - 2a Brunch til 2 PM $5 Bloody Marys, $9 Bottomless Mimosas Tool Shed Cheap Beer Day $1.75 16 oz. Bud or Bud Light Drafts From Open ‘Til Close, Happy Hour until 8pm

8:00 AM Bongo Johnny’s 11:00 AM

Legends of Palm Springs Happy Hour from 11 to 7 PM

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1:00 PM Tool Shed 8-Ball Tourn.

Legends Karaoki Brunch 1-5pm SpurLine Beer Bust until 7:00 2:00 PM Barracks Beer Bust All Day Long 3:00 PM Sunshine Cafe Daily Dinner Special $9.95 4:00 PM Oscars Sunday Funday Tea Dance 5:00 PM Rio Azul Happy Hour from 5 To 7 PM 7:00 PM Streetbar “Miss Fern” 8:00 PM Tool Shed $1.75 beer all day.

Toucans The Playgirls bring you shows every Sunday at 8 and 10 PM.

Hunters Service Ind. Night SpurLine Original One & Only Showtunes

MONDAY, DEC 14TH

6:00 AM Score Happy Hour til 8 PM $7 Belvedere Vodka all day Sunshine Cafe Breakfast Special Pork Chile Verde Omelet or Burrito $9.95 7:30 AM Pinocchio Everyday Bottomless Champagne! $2.50 Well Drinks & Martinis

9:00 AM Bongo Johnny’s

10:00 AM Tool Shed Happy Hour until 8 PM 11:00 AM Oscars 11a - 9p Happy Hour All Day $7 Burgers & Fries 2:00 PM Barracks Happy Hour to 8 PM $1.50 Drafts All Day Legends of Palm Springs Happy Hour from 2 to 7 PM 2-4-1 cocktails 3:00 PM Sunshine Cafe Daily Dinner Special $9.95 5:00 PM Rio Azul Happy Hour from 5 PM To 7 PM 7:00 PM Barracks Free Pizza & Beer Bust Prices

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The Anatomy of a DUI An Overview of Alcohol

By Manuel J. Barba, DUI Defense Attorney In the last article I continued the discussion of Phase Three- Pre-arrest Screening, and how a driver suspected of Driving Under the Influence (DUI) need not perform field sobriety tests (pre-arrest screening).

As I previously discussed, the phase three pre-arrest screening process presupposes that the driver will be arrested. Also, remember even though the officer observed clues while the suspected vehicle was in motion, when the vehicle came to a stop, and during the personal contact phase, the officer has only suspicions that the driver may be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. And, since suspicion of DUI is not enough to arrest a driver for DUI, the officer needs probable cause to arrest the driver for DUI. Therefore the officer needs the driver to cooperate and perform field sobriety tests.

Although the law requires that a driver suspected of driving under the influence submit to a chemical test (breath or blood), the law DOES NOT require that a driver perform field sobriety tests. It is a driver’s right to elect not to cooperate and perfume any filed sobriety tests.

The issue comes down to one of “evidence.”

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What “evidence” will the arresting officer have to support the arrest of the driver for DUI? What evidence will the officer have to show that the driver was impaired?

If the driver cooperates and performs the field sobriety tests, the driver will likely be arrested and the officer will write in the report that the driver “failed the field sobriety tests” and as a result the officer “formed the opinion that the driver was under the influence of alcohol (or drugs),” thus evidence that the driver was impaired.

If the driver elects not to cooperate and does not perform field sobriety tests, the driver will still likely be arrested, but the officer will only be able to write in the arrest report the observations he/she observed in phase one and two (the observations made while the vehicle was in motion and during the personal contact phase). Thus, the officer cannot write in the arrest report that the driver “failed” the field sobriety tests, because the driver was smart and elected not to perform them.

The officer will also likely write in the report that the driver “refused” to perform field sobriety tests. As a side note, prosecutors try to use the fact that the driver “refused” to perform field sobriety tests as some sort of “consciousness of guilt.” But so what! Jurors learn through the trial process that field sobriety tests are voluntary and are not required.

Continued on page 49

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AdamsArtExpose’ Mindy Wilson A Gem in the Desert Mindy Wison is a Palm Springs area artist who comes from a former profession as a fire fighter.

She was always interested in art and has practiced drawing and painting for most of her life.

The painting medium she works with is primarily acrylic. Her paintings reflect subjects from her home life and family, primarily landscapes and people along with some abstract work with design motifs .

This summer one of her graphite drawings was chosen for a juried show at her alma mater at Missouri Western State University. The topic of this drawing was the windmills or turbines that are prevalent around the Coachella Valley. This is an example of the creativity of Mindy’s Continued on page 38

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Looking for a gift that is sure to please? TWIN CITY gourmet popcorn you can order it today

This week DDG is happy to introduce Craig Sheffler and Sam Card of Twein City popcorn. With an incredible product you can order on-line. Best bet, a tin of the twin city combo with Theater Butter, Classy Caramel and Cheesey Chedar Craig always had a dream of owning a small business that would offer customers a product that would bring a smile to their faces.

One winter day, while watching a Green Bay Packer game, Craig Sheffler and Sam Card were throwing around ideas about what a couple of tax accountants could do during the off season to help them stay busy.

Craig attended a trade show in the Chicago area put on by Gold Medal Products, Inc., a leader in the concession business. At the show, Gold Medal demonstrated Popcorn equipment and popcorn products. As a result, Twin City Popcorn was born.

We started business in a small store at 204 2nd Avenue in Rock Falls, Illinois, next to the Rock Falls Post Office.

From our opening day on May 23, 2015, our popcorn business has exceeded all expectations. In late October 2015, we moved to our new location, 109 First Avenue, Rock Falls, Illinois 61071.

In July, a loyal customer took our popcorn on a visit to Italy, and our popcorn was well received. We are proud to say that Twin City Popcorn is World Famous!

We have expanded operations to include Internet sales. All of our products are available for purchase on the Internet, www.twincitypopcorn.net No extra charge for shipping.

We want to thank all of our customers for their loyal support. We look forward to providing quality Gourmet Popcorn for years to come.

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Made In The USA!

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From Santa to: Dear _____________ As you can tell right away this is a form letter, but don’t get your g sting in a bunch. I only had time to add your name and check of the bad stuff you pulled this year. Not to mention I now have a lot more naughty letters to write since Obama got elected. Even the gays are all accepted, and legal. So no more awkward moments catching daddy kissing Santa. Well the majority anyway so I have all of you newly nice gays and gals to write too. From the real Santa here and not just another rebel without a Claus.

So gather around girls with balls and boys with tinsel. erm, tits or whatever you feel is hanging from your tree and I will give an update that Fox News could not create. First off why the fuck did you not know SANTA was gay? When I talk about my wonderful beard what were you thinking?

That’s why this letter is from Palm Springs! I gave you all the clues. I say naughty and for goodness sakes and everyone are HO’s. I have no kids and I only come once a year and it’s down your chimney! HO HO HO’s! I know you didn’t just wake up one day with a queer taste your mouth, it was there all the time. I was there when you scrunched your baby face when your Pajamas & Booties didn’t match, and I know how much some of you enjoyed that birth slap from your doctor. I did leave a note to a few that, um never mind. I am also surprised you never picked up the Santa Drag thing I was working it, dressing in leather, red velvet and jingle my bells. I figured Santa clubs would surly out number leather bars by now.

No offence Barracks or Tool Shed, but if IML won’t give us a Mr. Hot Santa title, I won’t be pleased. I know I can get that title at CCBC because they always have a contest.

SOOOO As it happens we out sourced this year’s updates to the Elf-o-matic Naughty or Nice Determination software for the windows 10 upgrade and it’s all fucked up. This system put Donald Trump on the top of the Nice List and insists on being called El Diablo! In other words YOU NOW HAVE SANTA HELPER POWERS Just send it to a person you care about to let them know you care. We updated it to include a HomoHet translation developed by ALvenware. __You ignored a friend (gay: facetime request) __You had the mouth of a sailor. (gay: on, instead of ) __You said YOLO and other such terms. (gay: um no actual reference, what everrr) 28

__You twerked. (gay: You can’t twerk) __You over-shared on social media. (gay {Gender neutral} let lose on a bitch that had it coming) __ A grumpy old elf, (gay: A grumpy old elf)

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The LGBT Community Center of the Deser t proudly presents

Tas ty trea ts for EVE RYO NE !

Have your four-legge d friend get their picture taken with Santa!

Join us for our Annual Winter Social.

Paws ‘n’ Claus is a pet food donation drive and Mixer for our Members and their canine companions.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16TH 5PM TO 7PM

at Eight4Nine Restaurant & Lounge (on the spectacular outdoor patio space) 849 N. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA 92262 Please help us stock the pet food pantry of The Community Food Bank @ The Center this holiday season.

Because sometimes hungry families include hungry pets.

THE COMMUNITY

FOOD BANK

Call The Center @ 760-416-7790 to reserve your space today!

the

CENTER

the heart of our community

611 S. Palm Canyon Drive #201 • Palm Springs, CA 92264

www.thecenterps.org

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UPCOMING EVENTS: 12/09, GAY MEN’S SEXUAL HEALTH GROUP 10 AM - 11:30 AM 12/15, SMART RECOVERY 6:30 PM - 8 PM PLEASE CALL DCSA FOR TIMES & MORE INFO.

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LEATHER REALM by Dave Murdock “And the new Mr. Palm Springs Last week I shared the first five gifts received in the Twelve Leather Days of Christmas. This week we continue on most fowl...

besides, what am I going to do with 8 women?

I tried farming them all out (no pun intended) but no one wants to deal with the cows!

slave, What is it with you and birds lately? I know you know I like roasted goose with apricot and currant stuffing, but 6 of them????? One would have been sufficient. I gave one to Blossom and Hugh, one to Leo and his mom, and the rest of them to the homeless shelter. I just hope they like goose, because they’re going to be eating it for a while. So, NO MORE BIRDS. I’m sick of them! Maybe think about some new play toys instead.

Master D

slave 9 LADIES DANCING???? I don’t know if you think your being humorous or not, but even though we all like the ballet I certainly don’t want to keep 9 ballerina’s in the house! I tried giving them away to Off Ramp Leathers, or Gear or Not So Innocent as in-store entertainment but they said they had no room for even a small ballet troupe, so I’ve sent them back to you, postage due. Now, get home and stop f****ng around.

slave You are in so much trouble! What did I just say? No more *&# birds. Besides, what the hell do you do with swans? Do you see a lake in the backyard??? You made me lose an entire day of play trying to find homes for them.

I finally gave them to the Animal Shelter, but the volunteers didn’t want to look after them, they’re aggressive and really messy and so they told Ms. Foat it was her job, she’s the big cheese of the shelter, let her get pecked to death! Now listen slave, NO MORE BIRDS OF ANY KIND! slave OK, I’m calling your mother, obviously she’s poisoning you against your Leather family.

Why in the heck would I want 8 maids a-milking? You know I’m lactose intolerant, and

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Dear slave, OK, this is more like it boy, although these 10 hunks were hard to get into the cages, they kept leaping around. But the boy and I did it, and all is forgiven because I’m having so much fun training them!

Dear slave, 11 pipers? At first I thought they were the boyfriends of the lords a leaping, but I don’t think so now because the dancers look down on musicians, they’re not getting along well.

The cages are getting too crowded, so thanks, but no more men.

Dear slave brother mark, You have finally driven your Master (and my Daddy) crazy. Between the drumming and the piping you can’t hear yourself think! Plus the fact that there’s now 33 extra men in the house, and even with George, Paul, and John’s

Continued from page 49

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WORKOUT GYM PALM

SPRINGS

$12 DAY PASSES MEMBERSHIP SPECIALS SEE GYM FOR DETAILS NO CONTRACTS GROUP CLASSES INCLUDED • TRAINERS AVAILABLE CARDIO WITH PERSONAL TV’S • FREE WEIGHTS AND MACHINES TRX • LOCKERS • SHOWERS MEN’S SAUNA • FREE WIFI • FREE COFFEE 2100 N PALM CANYON DR., SUITE C100 (BEHIND TOUCAN’S TIKI LOUNGE) PALM SPRINGS, CA 92262

WORKOUT GYM HOURS: MON-FRI: 5:00AM - 8:00PM SAT-SUN: 8:00AM - 6:00PM

(760) 325-4600

WWW.WORKOUTGYMPS.COM

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BUSINESS News & DIRECTORY BUSINESS EVENTS Join the DDG Business Directory TODAY 888-743-3349 ADULT BOOK STORE Hidden Joy 760 328-1694 ADULT FETISH AND TOYS Gear Leather & Fetish 760 322-3363 Not So Innocent 760 322-0999 Hidden Joy 760 328-1694 ATTORNEYS Joseph Rhea 760 322-3001 Manuel Barba 760 770-3377 AUTO DEALERSHIP Volkswagen Palm Springs 760 770-1100 AUTO REPAIR-PAINTING Maaco, America’s Body Shop Joel 760 202-1411

BLINDS, SHUTTERS & DRAPES Pat Nyman 951 924-0033 CEMENT CONTRACTOR Dave May Concrete 760 327 4849 FURNITURE MJ Custom Furniture 760 779-0303 HAULING & MOVING Red’s Hauling J3 760 288-6956 GYMS WorkOUT Gym 760 325-4600 LEATHER REPAIR CUSTOM Gear Leather and Fetish 760-322-3363 gearleather.com 650 E. Sunny Dunes 760-7782798 MATRIMONY SPIRITUALITY Rev. Terry Scott, Minister iamrevterry@yahoo.com Bloom In the Desert Ministries 760 327-3802 PAINTERS Jeff Larsen 760 902-0175

Quote of the Week “There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.” - P. G. Wodehouse

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BUSINESSPETDIRECTORY GROOMING

Alex’s Pet Grooming 760 327-5186 POSTAL SERVICES Postal Palm Springs 760 864-1401 UPS Store 760 324-8184 REAL ESTATE Berrington Properties 760 408-4102 San Diego Metro Properties 619-702-2400 TRAVEL Baja Expeditions 800-843-6967 GROUPS/HELP AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY 800-2272345 AMVETS: 760-323-9085 BLOOM IN THE DESERT MINISTRIES: 760327-3802 Coachella Valley Sexual Assault Services Rape Crisis Center (760) 568-9071 HOTLINE (800) 656-4673 DEMOCRATS OF THE DESERT 760 537-1529 desertdemocrats.org

Continued from page 22

work and how she incorporates the local environment in the works.

You may also find Mindy teaching classes for Michaels Arts and Crafts in Palm Springs, where she teaches Acrylic Painting.

DESERT AIDS PROJECT: 760 323-2118

Mindy is a talented and creative artist with a background in a dangerous and challenging profession. She truly is a Gem in the Desert

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BACK IN 2016 Visit us at desertdailyguide.com and Like us on Facebook.com/desertdailyguide

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY

DESERT LEGAL AID: 760-832-9770 DESERT OUTREACH FOUNDATION 760 864-1234 DESERT STONEWALL DEMOCRATS: 760 260-8104 DESERT WINDS 760 776-2700 GAY CATHOLICS 760 325-9511 FRONTRUNNERS 760 285-0077 GAY ARTISTS - 760 835-0727 METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH 760 512-1700 PALM SPRINGS GAY MEN’S CHORUS 760219-2077 PALM SPRINGS LEATHER ORDER OF THE DESERT 760 272-5553 PALM SPRINGS PRIDE: 760-416-8711 www. pspride.org, PFLAG: 760 202-4430.

GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION www.palmspringsrodeo.org

PRIME TIMERS T: 760-424-8014 THE LGBT CENTER; 760 416-7790 HELP LINES Veterans Crisis Line: 1(800) 273-8255 National LGBT Crisis Line: 1(888) 843-4564 Veteran Care Line: 1(800) 455-0057 LGBT and housing Youth Trevor Lifeline 866-488-7386 Youth homless (800) 308-2145 Housing Discrimination 800-669-9777 Support Groups www.translifeline.org US: (877) 565-8860 The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis.

Phone: 1-800-SUICIDE // 1-800-784-2433 Also: 1-800-273-TALK // 1-800-273-8255 Para obtener asistencia durante las 24 horas, llame al 1-888-628-9454

RESORTS PALM SPRINGS STYLE

Canyon Club Hotel 760 778-8042 Casitas Laquita (Lesbian) 760 416-9999 Desert Eclipse 760 325-0655 Desert Paradise 760 320-5650 East Canyon 760 320-1928 El Mirasol Villas 760 327-5913 Escape 760 325-5269 Hacienda 760 327-8111 INNDulge 760-327-1408 La Dolce Vita 760 325-2686 Pura Vida 760 408-3265 Santiago 800 710-7729 Skylark Hotel 760 322-2267 Tortuga del Sol 760 416-3111 Vista Grande, Atrium & Mirage 760 322-2404 Warm Sands Villas 760 323-3005

Advertised Resorts

CCBC Resort 760 324-1350 p2 Chaps Inn 760 327-8222 p18 All Worlds Resorts 760 323-7505 p6 For more details visit desertdailyguide.com Inn Exile 760-327-6413 Triangle Inn 760 322-7993 Helios 760-323-2869 Bearfoot Inn 760-699-7641 40

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CLASSIFIEDS

The Deadline for any and all ads (new or changes to current) is Tuesday at 4 PM (Changed to Wednesday if week has a holiday) For Publication THE FOLLOWING WEEK (Eight day lead time!)

Line ads are 30 words or less.

Classified ADS 30 words or less $20.00 ea. or $15.00 FOR A MINIMUM OF THREE WEEKS All ads must be paid before publication (unless prior arrangements are made). DDG Media Group assumes no responsibility for the content of ads or for the reliability of our advertisers. We are open, Monday-Friday, from 10 AM to 4 PM NEW DROP off (no cash) address is:1717 E. Vista Chino Drive, A7-480, Palm Springs, CA 92262 Toll Free 888-743-3349 or 760-913-3340 • FAX (844) 800-9700 publisher541@desertdailyguide.com

HELP WANTED (FREE ADS)

CCBC Resort All positions join the Largest Gay Resort in Southern California Inquire in Person

GENERAL HAULING/MOVING

RED’S HAULING - DUMP RUNS Dump runs. Real Estate Repo Cleanups.

760-288-6956

BUSINESS

Your Palm Springs Office has arrived!

Family owned and operated. Manage your postal mail, packages and more. Stay connected, safeguard deliveries, store documents, and protect your privacy. www.postalPS.com/digital-mailbox 760.864.1401 LGBT Friendly web hosting $99.00 per year!

Includes free website setup, shopping cart Gallery, mobile and face-book integration, 50 free email accounts. Call DDG for details. 760413-4025

HOMES FOR SALE

Mobile Home for sale $19,500.00 OBO, Horizon Mobile Village 1200 Sq Ft with 3 bedrooms/2.5 bathrooms.

Appliances are new except refrigerator. Washer/ dryer in home. Call Rich or Don at 760-4642248.

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HOMES/APT. FOR RENT/SHARE

Country Living/Hillside Home 2 Bedroom/2 Bath Morongo Valley Home. 25 easy minutes to Palm Springs. Private, quiet sanctuary. Double garage, fireplace, forever views $1075/Moth+Deposit (760)880-0223

Morongo Valley, 1 BR, 1 Bath + Guest / Office space, unfurnished on 2.5 acres, 2 miles off Hwy 62, $800 per month plus utilities, $800 Deposit, 1 year lease, 760-363-7986 leave message.

Prime Palm Springs 1 & 2 Bedrooms $800$950 Private Patios - Assigned Parking Pool - Spa - Laundry Facilities (310) 428-3300 [11-11]

SERVICES OFFERED PSYCHOTHERAPY

Dennis Sapire, PhD Psychologist & Sex Therapist CA Lic. PSY18734 (760) 318-5043 -www.dsphd.com Gay & Trans Affirmative Therapy Individuals & CoupleS Continued on page 41

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(760) 428-8869

Wednesday, December 9th 7:00 AM - Crystal Meth Anon 9:00 AM - Beginning Tai Chi 9:30AM - Beginning/Intermediate Drawing 10:00 AM - Intermediate Tai Chi 11:30AM - 50 + Fit 12:30 - PM - Advance Drawing 1:00 PM - Open Play Bridge 5:00 PM - Creative Writing 5:30 - 6:30PM - Understanding Cardiovascular Disease 7:00 - 8:00PM - Narcotics Anonymous

4:00 -5:00PM - Gentle Yoga 5:30 - PM - Alcoholics Anon 6:00 - PM - Community Food Bank 7:00 - PM - Co-Dependents Anon 7:00 - PM - Bisexual Men’s Support Group - Call Ahead Friday, December 11th 9:30 AM - 50 + Fit 10:30AM - Friday Men’s Chat Group 1:00 PM- HIV Rapid Testing 7:30 PM - Crystal Meth Anon 7:30 PM - Desert Fetish Authority Discussion Group Saturday, December 12th 10:00 AM - Crystal Meth Anonymous Sunday, December 13th 6:00 - 7:30PM - Crystal Meth Anonymous

10:30 - 11:30AM - Intermediate Tai Chi 9:30AM - 12:00PM - Beginning/Intermediate Drawing 11:30AM - 12:30PM - 50 + Fit 12:30 - 2:30PM - Advance Drawing 1:00 - 4:00PM - Pinochle Open Play 5:15 - 6:15PM - Chair Yoga 6:30 - 9:30PM - Mah Jong 7:00 - 8:30PM - Spiritual Meditation and Mediumship Tuesday, December 15th 9:30 - 10:30AM - 50 + Fit 12:30 - 2:00PM - Writers Group 1:30 - 3:00PM - Bereavement Support Group 4:30 - 5:30PM - A Gentle Way to Yoga 6:00 - 7:00PM - A Gentle Way to Yoga

Thursday, December 10th 10:00AM - 12:00PM - Conversational Spanish Monday, December 14th 1:30 - 3:30PM - Legal Aid 9:00 AM - 12:00PM - Open Visit us desertdailyguide.com andPlay LikeBridge us on Facebook.com/desertdailyguide Clinic by at appointment

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SERVICES OFFERED

30+ YEARS EXPERIENCED IN-HOME CARE PROFESSIONAL SEEKS CLIENTS. Former AFH owner, experienced with institutional DD and mental health patients. Nurse delegated. Rates depend on care level. Fred 206-604-5633 CONCIERGE-STYLE COMPUTER SUPPORT I AM NOT MAC-PHOBIC! Desktops, laptops, Internet/wireless connectivity, virus remediation. Catering to locals & resort/out-of-town guests. Reasonable rates Call Ed Lefkowitz sunnyDconsulting (760) 4833115. sunnydconsulting.com CALL THE PC TUTOR. 760-880-0441. Computer repairs, upgrades, installations, antivirus, backups, networking, windows or iMac, iPhone, iPad. Gmail cloud signup, music, movies, photos, ebooks, more

MASSAGE

MALE KNEADS Exceptional, Sensual, Soothing, body work for men of all ages. Outcalls only. Call Adam for an extraordinary experience in innovative erotic relaxation.

760-835-0727 [000]

EXPERIENCED, SANE, A TRUE ‘JOURNEY’ Join me naked, and experience my combination of therapeutic and erotic techniques: ritual undressing, full body massage, tantric erotic finish. 4-handed/Couple Sessions also offered. ...tantric erotic sequence to finish Call now!

Richard (206) 370-0423 cell.

PALM SPRINGS BLACK MASSEUR 5’4”, 130# of lean muscle. Handsome face.

Smooth and athletic. Personal training available.

MC/Visa Accepted.

Michael Cell 562-714-4270 [1223] TRIP TO XTASY!!!

Buns & Legs, Nooks & Cranny’s. My SpecialtyMature Man-Erotic Full Body Massage 6’ 165#, Hung, 11:00am-10pm, $60 In & $80 Out Calls Call Dick (760) 329-3620

DID YOU KNOW? Socks are one of the most needed items to help the homeless. We often wear them our and toss them.

Next time you donate wash a load of socks and bring them along.

 4 HAND TANTRIC MASSAGE 

EurAsian Team Relaxing Rejuvenating, Sensual 760-835-0727 WARM HEALING HANDS\ Massage $55 Special for 1 Hour $70 for 90 min. $85 2hr Reiki Healing Session $30 for 30 min.

I’m strong, 57 years old, well built, nice looking.

I specialize in pain relief and I cater to all ages. Call Rocco. 760-933-9153 Continued on page 46

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Massage therapy has been shown to relieve depression, especially in people who have chronic fatigue syndrome; other studies also suggest benefit for other populations.

Andrew Weil

VETERANS NOTES

Gay Vet Bill unlikely to pass Homophobic congress S. 1766: Restore Honor to Service Members Act? To restore honor to gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members who were kicked out of the military because of their sexual orientation. As Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y.; Rep. Mark Pocan, D-Wis.; Rep. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y.; and Sen. Brian Schatz, D-Hawaii, Since the Second World War, more than 100,000 service members are estimated to have been discharged from the military because of their sexual orientation. This bill will allow LGBT Vets access to the GI Bill and veterans’ health care, and they will have a more difficult time finding civilian employment.

46 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.

760

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JERSEY’S JOURNAL by Jersey Shore Jumping to conclusions will always get you in trouble. It kind of lends itself to it just by its title. So, why do it? So many people are not “fond” of me because they jump to conclusions. I’m told that I was here, and I did that, and I can’t do that.

The funny thing is I never was there, or planning to go there, or whatever. You heard something, didn’t get all the details or heard wrong and then you JUMPED TO A CONCLUSION. In the realist world I live in I can tell you that ALL your facts are wrong and you just stirred a huge pot of shit for NO reason. It was unnecessary drama stirring and brewing in a pot. If you maybe just dug a little deeper for the facts then all this mess wouldn’t have to be cleaned. You saved yourself from so much unnecessary bull.

If you want to waste your time with that crap go ahead, just leave me out of it!

When you’ve gone through multiple medical issues and you lose so much time, you realize you don’t want to waste any more on pettiness. And that is exactly what it is. Pettiness. It’s a bunch of trivial, insignificant, worthless waste of precious time, energy, and life.

I guess most of us are taking life for granted. Not enjoying the small gifts and the occasional big ones. The road through life is far less bumpy when you take the smooth cruise through life. The road exists. Like all roads there are occasional bumps, but the ride is much smooth-

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er and you get to your goals faster on a smooth surface. These are easy things to do to enjoy smooth sailing and accomplish more in the life we are given on a path to happiness.

Peace, Love, and Smooth paths, Jersey Jersey Contact Jersey Shore at Dragapalooza@ aol.com Or Follow on Facebook.

Jersey can be seen EVERY SUNDAY starting at NOON for Disco Brunch @ Georgie’s Alibi Azul.

Photo by Mike Thomas

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Continued from page 20

Although field sobriety tests vary, the three most important field sobriety tests are referred to as standardized field sobriety tests and are as follows: Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus test (HGN), One Leg Stand test (OLS), and the Walk and Turn test (WAT).

I will discuss each test in detail later, however I first want to discuss the reason that these three tests are referred to as standardized: because studies were actually conducted to determine the validity of the tests. Now, I’m not saying that these three tests are valid in determining whether a driver is DUI; I am just saying that “studies were actually conducted” on these three tests. Remember this phrase: “Garbage in, Garbage out.”

Next week, the background of Field Sobriety Tests. DUI Defense Attorney Manuel J. Barba can be reached at 760-770-3377 or 951-680-9125. For more information visit www.PalmSpringsDUI.com.

Manuel Barba

Continued from page 32

help he can’t keep up with all of them. That’s too many even for a talented top to handle, even with help. I’ve sent him off for a rest.

So get back here and get rid of them, they’re eating us out of house and home. (Oh, by the way, Daddy isn’t giving you any allowance again, EVER. He says if you can afford to spend $34,131 * in 2 weeks you’re paying all the bills for the next year, and we’re going to take a long vacation.

Your brother in Leather, Bekker.

MERRY LEATHER CHRISTMAS TO ALL! *Prices from 2015 ANNUAL PNC CHRISTMAS PRICE INDEX FYI the seven swans a-swimming alone cost $13,125!

If you have any questions about the Leather scene, or would like to see an article about a specific topic or event, please send an email to Leatherrealm@gmail.com

Dave Murdock

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THAT IS FUNNY During a blind date, as two men were filling each other in on their pasts, one of the men said, “A genie once gave me the option of having a longer penis or better memory”.

“And which did you choose?” his date asked.

The man replied “I don’t remember” What do men do after an orgasm?

1% do it for the second time 1% Go to eat 1% Fall Asleep 97% Clear History If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

A stoner called the fire department and said, “Come quick my house is on fire!” The Fireman asked “How do we get there?” The stoner says “DUH, in a big red truck!

WEEKLY GUIDE TO THE STARS ARIES: March 21 - April 20 Life is meaningless. It’s time you bought a fedora like the rest of the shameless hipsters out there.

TAURUS: April 21 - May 19 Time has no meaning anymore. That means you can finally get to that Sudoku puzzle book you’ve been putting off all this time.

GEMINI: May 20 - June 21 Gravity is pointless and no longer exists. So now you don’t have to feel so bad about defacing Newton’s grave.

Take that, Newton! We’ll see who’s really smart now!

CANCER: June 22 - July 22 The soul does not exist, so there’s no worry about feeling right or wrong. But it’s still probably a good idea not to knock off that liquor store. The owner has a gun.

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LEO: July 23 - August 22 Space is infinite, empty, and black.

Sorry to rain on your parade, but just because you got chosen for the astronaut program doesn’t make you all that special, Bob. VIRGO: August 23 - Sept. 22 Math is completely pointless. Serves you right for choosing communications as your major. All those eggheads can suck it.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 - October 22 The English language is a farce. Well, it really is nowadays. I mean, look at how we speak. “Lol?” Good God, man, spell it out!

SCORPIO: October 23 - Nov. 21 Shakespeare was a fraud. Seriously.

No one knows if he really existed. Plus, he’s dead now, so he really isn’t all that great.

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 - Dec. 20 Money is effectively useless. So, umm...I hope you really didn’t store everything in your mattress. Because that’d be pretty dumb.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 21 - Jan. 19 The world is a joke and crumbling all around us. I guess I’m just thankful that you’re all a figment of my imagination.

So there’s that.

AQUARIUS: Jan 20 - Feb. 18 Television is a mind-melting wasteland of poorly conceived reality shows and the touting of trailer trash and tanned guidos. Really. It’s terrible. Really, really terrible.

PISCES: Feb 19 - March 20 Oliver Stone is no longer a good director, and anyone else that says otherwise is full of it. I watched “Savages.”

What a buncha crap.

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NEWS IN BRIEFS

Trump tower of babel crumbles.

Donald trump statements have been labeled as “bigoted, unconstitutional and potentially dangerous for American interests abroad. The AP reports Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s call to block Muslims from entering the United States is being met with a chorus of near-universal condemnation from across the country and around the globe. Except for many members of the GOP party where Trump leads with his outrageous statements and Nazi reminiscent discrimination.

This on the heals of The FBI’s acknowledgment that the San Bernardino shooters had been radicalized Muslims for “quite some time” But the couple, lived quietly in a two-bedroom townhouse with their 6-month-old daughter and quietly accumulated a a well armed militia. They did nothing to arouse suspicion of law enforcement before dressing in black, donning face masks and killing 14 people and wounded 21 last Wednesday before dying in a shoot four hours later.

Sadly the killers were aided by gun manufactures and gun sellers. While these guns should have been banned, they can be bought legally using a so called California loop hole. But its not a loop hole at all and this is why.

California gun laws are intended to ban most assault weapons and is widely regarded as among the strictest in the country. These guns cannot have a “detachable magazine.“ (Bullet Clip) Except with the use of a tool, and so gun shops laughingly created a ejector tool that actually uses the business end of a bullet. Now we have a legal assault weapon that you can shoot 100’s of targets rather then a handful before reloading. this fight has been going on for years, so its hardly new to Gun enthusiasts.

The loop hole was exploited by gun manufactures that created a reset button to allow rapid replacement of bullet clips that can be operated simply with the tip of a high powered bullet. But it does not end there one picked at random gun sales web site of many tenpercentfirearms.com even has a section to help you get around this law. Click on CA AR15 and learn about all your sportsmen needs like Flash Suppressors, Forward Pistol Grips, Flare/Grenade Launchers and other safety tips, one would assume to prevent the animal or target from shooting back.

So ”California compliant” really means cheated by gun manufactures to allow high casualty. In todays new world of people like Trump its not likely to get fixed anytime soon and we will just have to live with the consequences.

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