Wildside TIMES #5

THINGS TO DO IN ST FRANCIS BAY OVER THE FESTIVE SEASON

Some are obvious, some are somewhat out of the ordinary, and some are a little wild. These are only suggestions to help you along your way.

Catch A Wave At Bruce’s

You have to be lucky to catch a wave at this elusive and fickle spot. Due to the shoreline angle at Bruce’s Beauties, the wave needs a very rare swell direction to get around the corner at Die Tande at Shark Point. You must surf it on a spring low tide to get the best conditions if it does get around the corner. If you have these two elements in place, you then have to contend with the local surfers, who have been known to be quite ferocious at times. They even get fierce with each other. The Bruce’s jump-off rock is sketchy, and the Killer’s jump rock is impossible. The slipway paddle out on a big day could see you pounded by endless sets in full view of everyone drinking coffee and having a laugh at your expense. In fact, let’s take that back. Kak idea to go for a surf at Bruce’s.

© Courtesy Hulett family

Visit The Lighthouse

© Gumbootism

It’s a famous old beam of light is our lighthouse, and it does have some insane views. First lit on 4 July 1878, it has been doing good work for a long time. The 154 steps will take you 28 metres straight up and give you some dramatic panoramas. The fog horn is also a somewhat surprising and pulsating affair when sea mist pulls in. Still, these days the fog horn serves more to announce to the village that a Loadshedding session is over. However, if you’re scared of heights or suffer from vertigo, then don’t bother. Instead, stay on the ground and head over to…

Nevermind Restaurant

The fabulous Nevermind Restaurant is led by head chef Wesley Randles. He’s the person in charge of all the delicious menu items, the fresh flavours and the constant reminders of just how delicious locally sourced food should be. Try the Peas Please breakfast, Pork Belly lunch or Smoked Lamb Ribs evening meal. Or even if you’re not hungry, have a few sensible drinks on the deck while your friends bugger around in the sky at the lighthouse. During the season, there is often live music at Nevermind, but bookings are essential for a seat as it gets busy. It gets busy because it’s nice. So after a quick drink at the bar at Nevermind, maybe it’s time to go on a…

Pub Crawl.

The first rule about Pub Crawl is you don’t talk about Pub Crawl. The second rule is Designated Driver. Doesn’t matter where you start; it’s going to end poorly. Seen as we are at Nevermind, a quick start-up drink on the deck before we head to The Full Stop. A hearty restaurant and pub in Cape St Francis, Full Stop is an excellent stop for a beer and a pizza after a surf. Across the road, Joe Fish has wonderful meals, rocks on a Sunday and has ice-cold beers on tap. After these two stops, good advice is to overshoot all the main bars in St Francis Bay and go straight to the Good Time Taverna. If you’re already feeling tired after the first few stops, a quick jump in the pool could serve as a refresher. On the way out, one of the best spots for an evening drink is The Quays, with loads of space, good service and whatever tickles your fancy from the bar. Then onwards to Off The Menu for a quick Mimosa or two before heading to The Brewery. Be careful, this place is cool and has rocking live music, and you might get stuck here for a while. Next, pop in at Twenty Two Eatery and Wine Bar for a quick dop at Nick’s Bar before getting your designated driver to get you guys up to the St Francis Golf Course pub. You’ll be about 8 drinks down by now, so it’s either time to tidy up and have a spritzer or get down in it and go for a Jagie Bomb or, God forbid, a tequila. Next, a quick stop up at the Links to see if anyone got a hole-in-one, has insurance and is shouting everyone at Jack’s Bar. Afterwards, head back down to the port, where the Quayside will be waiting for you with open arms. Things have been known to get pretty spicy here in the late hours, so just be careful if you’re on the tequila by now. Then maybe a quick nightcap at Mauro’s before heading home or to Billy’s, depending on your age...

Rock The Arvi Away On Sundays at the Cape St Francis Resort.

These sessions have become a full-on institution, which you will have to experience at some stage. There are several menu specials, ribs, calamari, wine platters, and live music. This translates to a rocking, festival-like atmosphere, with people dancing, shouting, screaming and laughing, and revellers ending up in the pool on the odd occasion. It’s all outside, on the deck, with loads of room to move, but it does get very festive. We suggest that if you plan to go there with a crew over the summer, you should go early and secure a table somewhere. The calamari and their ribs are delicious, and live music is always excellent.

Visit the St Francis Bay Market

This little market has now become so big that the entire outside area between the bowling club and the municipal offices is packed with vendors. They’re all selling awesome goodies to locals and visitors. The food products are excellent and well priced, with freshly cooked pies, cakes, quiches and meals and delicious farm meat the most popular. There are also takeaways, clothing stores, fairy stores, artwork, and everything in between. Worth spending some time here on a Saturday morning. Park on the soccer field behind the old nursery school. Despite a fair cluster of hippies at the market, it is best to wear shoes as there are thorns.

Run a Park Run at The Links.

For some, this is a quick and refreshing way to kick off the weekend and have a healthy start. For others, it is 5km of torture and just an excuse to get into Jack’s Bar for a Bloody Mary. Either way, even if you walk the whole 5 km or get picked up by a golf cart sweeper, there is no shame and no judgement for all those participating. There are always lots of laughs, and the best Park Runs take place over the Festive Season. And it’s a way to keep the laziness at bay as we all chill down, sip on various libations, and eat gammon as everyone does at Christmas in St Francis.

Go Mountain Biking

There aren’t any mountains around here. In fact, there aren’t any actual hills, either. Still, the St Francis Cycling Club has set up and maintained plenty of MTB tracks. Through the generosity of St Francis Cycling Club members, the St Francis MTB Loop has been extended during the last two years from about 22km to about 27km, with the percentage off-road about 50%. All the track extensions that have been built are off-road. The new route includes two fantastic new beachfront sections, Bruce’s and Otters Landing.

Surf a Soft Top at Huletts.

The Huletts reef at St Francis Bay is one of the softest, most user-friendly waves in the Eastern Cape. It is by far the best wave to cruise on a longboard while in St Francis Bay. Unfortunately, it has, at times, become completely overrun by visitors without any regard for the unwritten rules of surfing whatsoever. Since then, however, a local surf club has formed called the Slip Way Surf Crew to keep control of the situation. Now it is simply overrun by club members without any regard for the unwritten rules of surfing whatsoever. No, they’re a good bunch, keeping things tidy in what is often crowded and possibly hazardous.

If you’re a visitor of average skills in the water, it’s a good idea to judge the crowds from the car park, and maybe take a soft top out and hang wide. There are plenty of waves, but try figuring out the pecking order first.

Go Shell Hunting at Shelly Beach

Shelly Beach is the little beach area at the end of Cape St Francis beach, before Shark Point. Very popular amongst fishermen who actually fish from the little beach at high tide for galjoen, cracker blacktail and kob. After a strong easterly blow, the sea vomits up piles and piles of beautiful shells. After such conditions, people always walk around with hunched shoulders, looking for those exquisite Pansy and pumpkin shells.

In 2021, R20 Million worth of cocaine washed up in JBay, and another similar-sized parcel washed up in the far corner at Oyster Bay. There was a rumour of a few floating offshore at Shelly Beach, and the area was subsequently packed with smart-looking, well-dressed shell collectors for a week or so.

© Chris Scott

Have A Doughnut-eating Contest.

The best doughnuts known to man can be bought from the St Francis Bakery, next to Denude. So, if you want to have a doughnuteating contest for no reason whatsoever over the festive season, you’ll have to place an order with Barry because they are so popular they sell out quickly. The best we’ve seen is one of the local surfer groms smashing 4 in minutes after a super-long session at Anne’s, but that is a minor record. If you’re going for a record, please get someone to film it, or it didn’t happen.

Attend/Participate in StorySlam At The St Francis Brewery

The last Thursday of every month sees a StorySlam session go down at the Brewery

Introduced by local photographer Sandy Coffey, it aims to share personal stories from locals and visitors. The story needs to be five minutes long, it needs to be true, and it needs to have happened to the storyteller. Some will make you laugh, while others will make you cry. Linky from the St Francis Brewery does hand over a tequila to those who are nervous about talking in public, and it seems everyone takes the tequila.

SUP The Kromme and The Canals.

These days inflatable SUPs are the most popular and safe for the whole family. The SoulTDays inflatable option offers the best value. The kit includes a 10ft leash, a pump with a gauge, a removable fin, a paddle, and a backpack to put the SUP in once deflated. The 11-foot option seems stable enough to have a braai on, but probably more suitable for a slow cruise around the canals during the season and keeping fit on the water. If you know people on the canals over the season, a SUP is an excellent method of transport as well if you’re heading over for sundowners and a good way to work off that Christmas dinner. Facebook @SoulTDays

Go On A Bird Watching Tour

© Si Cuneen - Wild By Nature Photography

St Francis Bay and its environs, including the Kromme river mouth region, are incredible for bird watching. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find here. African Stonechat, Pied Kingfisher Burchell’s Coucal, Bokmakierie, Blue Crane, Ruddy Turnstone, Water Thickknee, Greater Double-collared Sunbird and more. This place is a birdwatcher’s dream, and you might snag that award-winning photograph while you’re about it. In addition, there are guided tours available – see Adam’s Birding Tours for contact information.

Hike To Thyspunt on the Wild Side

The incredible beauty of the wild side is exaggerated at Thyspunt. The protected bay includes fish traps built by the aboriginal hunter-gatherers that occupied the site in pre-colonial times. The whole area is unique, and in an article by local Professor Cowling, “Thyspunt has three features that qualify it as a place of global import. These are a cultural landscape of unblemished integrity that offers witness to almost a million years of human history. This includes the transition to human modernity in the Middle Stone Age; a network of wetlands regarded by experts as one of a kind; and mobile dunefields that are unique globally in their extent and preservation.”

Perfect location for a Nuclear Power Plant then…. sigh (emoji)

Walk Shark Point

It’s a beautiful walk from the Corner at Seal Point along the shoreline to Shark Point. This stretch is about 3km. Then the next strip takes you from Shark Point to The Port before heading along the wellmaintained Two Harbours Walk. End up at Bruce’s Coffee Shop, where a cup of coffee and a bacon and egg roll will quickly revive you and give you all your calories back. Don’t forget to drop off a vehicle at the Bruce’s car park for the lift home, and don’t forget to do it on a downwind (southwest).

Go Swimming!

Cape St Francis is a blue flag beach, and if all goes to plan there, we could have a beach devoid of piles of dog turds for the first time in many years. This means it will be an amazing swimming beach with no logs floating around. In fact, things could go swimmingly. I’ll let myself out.

Play A Round Of Golf

S Francis Bay Golf Club – the old course in the heart of the village is an excellent course to play, and it really is in the heart of the village. Slice a shot, and it might land in someone’s cup of coffee at a nearby coffee shop. Overshoot any of the holes on the ocean side of Da Gama, and it might land in someone’s garden. It is awesome and charming, with a cool bar and great food.

St Francis Links is an award-winning Golf Course and home to the PGA. It is a beautiful course, and the Clubhouse sports Jack’s Bar and their exquisite restaurant. So it is fantastic to see these two clubs come alive again after the pandemic, and this summer will undoubtedly see packed greens and 19th holes all summer.

Go And Visit Port St Francis

This port is a beautiful little spot with amazing restaurants and an incredibly vibrant and colourful feel to it. Enjoy a meal overlooking the Port at Mauro’s or go for a quiet beer at Quayside Pub. If you’re lucky the boys (and girls) from Nexus/Balance yachts might come down and launch one of their spectacular craft. They are pumping them out at the moment, so the chances are higher than you would think of seeing one of them being launched.

Photo: Andrea Paarman

© Chris Scott