Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating

LOOKING FOR LOVE ON THE ONLINE SPACES

Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating

By Celeste Turner

Looking for love in the digital age? Well, you’re not alone.

Today, more than three million adults have acknowledged that they have used a dating site or app in order to hopefully meet their match. According to a 2019 study, about a quarter of the adult online users reported that they have gone on a date with someone they met online.

Given these staggering statistics, it is best to research and evaluate the multitude of dating apps before you decide to sign up. When you are browsing for potential matches, the most popular platforms to choose from include Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Match.com, OkCupid, Grindr, and, lastly, eHarmony.

“I have recently tried online dating,” Ashley, a 25-year-old medical student living in New Orleans, said. “I’ve used both Hinge and Bumble, although I’ve only met up with ‘matches’ on Hinge. I’ve used it for the last seven months or so. The original lockdown or quarantine didn’t allow for much in-person mingling, so I took to online dating because it was a way to still meet people.”

In other words, the pandemic spurred the rise of online dating with sociallydistant meetings and video dates. Now, the promise of post-vaccination has fueled in-person dating for many single Americans like Ashley.

“From my perspective, there has been no harm in going to meet up with someone for drinks or dinner,” Ashley said. “For the most part, the dates are true to their profile. I haven’t experienced any catfishing, thankfully. I am currently casually seeing someone that I met on Hinge.”

According to Ashley, you need to be aware of “catfishing.” This occurs when you have been interacting with a real person who created a fake persona online to form a relationship, whether through social media or dating websites. When choosing a website, check out the platform’s features and audience before you sign up. Another thought, when making plans to meet up with someone, do your research on them; confirm that they’re a real person and that their online information is accurate.

Some dating applications use certain algorithms to match people based on their information, whereas other dating apps connect people with common interests, traits, or orientations. For Stacy, a local registered nurse, she found her recent match on the Hinge app and they are still currently dating.

“Yes, I have tried online dating,” Stacy said. “I do think these apps helped me meet people for several reasons. Being 35 and divorced, living in New Orleans, it’s like everybody knows everybody and it's hard to meet new people. The majority of friends are married with kids, and there was the COVID factor, so when I started using dating apps, there really wasn't much of going anywhere to meet anyone anyway.”

When you’re ready to start swiping for a possible partner, here are a few tips to keep you safe and make the experience more enjoyable.

1. BE HONEST AND OPEN

One of the advantages of online dating is that you can be specific about what you are looking for and potentially ask awkward questions before an actual date. For example, if the dating app provides prompt questions about yourself, take the time to respond in a thoughtful way to show different sides of your personality. “For someone using these apps for the first time, I’d say set your expectations before linking up,” Ashley said. “Be vulnerable and honest. Know what you’re looking for, whether that’s something casual or something serious, because it varies for everyone!”

Stacy agreed. “The best advice I can give someone who is using a dating app is to be honest about who you are, your likes, and dislikes,” Stacy added. “And for God’s sake, be honest about what you look like. The filters people use to alter their photos is insane and it's a false advertisement.”

2. DON’T PUT YOURSELF AT RISK

When you are browsing for potential matches, be careful about disclosing personal information. For example, you are advised not to list your home or work address during online conversations with strangers. Of course, when you decide to meet up with your new match, pick a public place for your rendezvous and let your friends or family know where you will be. It is best not to let the person pick you up or drop you off for your first few dates.

3. DO CREATE AN INTERESTING PROFILE

Perhaps, it should come as no surprise that online daters are attracted to photos more than anything else. So

Ashley suggested that you step up your game with your selfies to form imaginative and authentic profiles.

“When making your profile, I’d say try to sound as approachable as possible,” Ashley said. “Guys, please no flexing, pictures holding a fish you caught, or a selfie you took while driving.”

Think quality, not quantity, while crafting your profile, which may take extra effort but yield better results.

4. DO LEAVE YOUR BAGGAGE AT HOME

A rule of thumb while dating online is to wait to talk about past relationships.

Avoid talking about your previous breakups, failures, or flaws in the initial phase of dating. Meeting a potential suitor through a dating app is supposed to be lighthearted and fun. “I had mostly positive experiences,” Stacy said. “I met some really cool people and had great conversations.”

5. BE PERSISTENT

When it comes to internet dating, it may take time to find your potential match. At first, you may be disappointed because you’re swiping a long list of promising people who don’t live up to your expectations. Whether you are getting rejected or rejecting someone, be patient. It is perfectly fine if you don’t meet anyone for the first few months of online dating.

“It's okay if someone swipes left on you or doesn't find you attractive,” Stacy said. “There is always someone else who will and if you have to alter your entire appearance for that person, then they aren't for you.” She also indicated to keep your options open while using dating apps. “Change up your settings,” Stacy said. “Expand the distance of the search, go a little older than you normally would, be open to someone that isn't typically your type. You have to be open to meeting new people.”

Remember, dating is a process, whether you’re talking online or meeting in person. Keep the conversation and activity fun. While building a new relationship, make sure to do things that you enjoy. Above all, Ashley emphasized “be kind.” You could be spending the rest of your life with your next online match.