10 Ways to Rekindle the Romance

By Sandra Bolan

Conversations about who took out the garbage and who’s in charge of the kids’ carpool aren’t very romantic. However, for many couples, this becomes the focus of their relationship and those early days of passion are nothing but a distant memory.

For relationships to go the distance, there has to be more than just "to-do" list conversations. A strong relationship needs physical contact and a deep, emotional connection.

Why the Passion Dies

In long-term relationships, sexual intimacy often becomes a rarity because couples let life get in the way. Often, it happens so gradually that neither partner notices until it's already become commonplace.

Other reasons for the lack of sexual spark could be that one or both of you have let the kids, hobbies and work take precedence over your partner, sex has become boring or a chore, one or both of you have let yourselves go, there’s been a few too many squabbles that have led to grudges and resentment or perhaps you live under one roof but live separate lives.

How to Rekindle the Romance

home with a book from the author he loves, something to help with his favorite hobby or his favorite indulgent dessert from the bakery? How about doing some of the household chores he dislikes the most, without being asked? Taking over dinner or kid duties? No matter how small the gesture, these intentional acts of kindness go a long way toward letting your partner know you care about him.

7. Date night. All couples need time away from the kids, household chores and thoughts of work. Schedule a regular date night, even if it’s only once a month. No matter what, date night can’t be canceled, and it doesn’t have to be a pull-out-all-the-stops romantic evening. It can be as simple as a movie or going to a local pub or restaurant for trivia night.

8. Try new things together. Neither of you are the same as when you first got together. Both of you have evolved emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and physically, and some of the things that interested you no longer do. Try new activities together. Even if it’s something you’re confident you won’t enjoy, but is something your partner loves (cooking lessons, running, fishing, shopping), give it a go anyway. You might actually like it, or it may be an experience that goes laughably wrong, but it will give the two of you something to talk about for years to come. Make sure to alternate who picks the activity so one partner isn’t always doing what the other one wants.

9. Hit the gym. After a break up, the partner who let himself/herself go often hits the gym with a vengeance and comes out with the revenge body. For there to be a sexual spark, there needs to be a physical attraction. Hit the gym well before the relationship ends. Your partner will appreciate your efforts.

10. Be adventurous. Sex between people who have been together forever can become boring. Mix it up. Act out fantasies, safely, and with permission from both partners, of course. Roleplay, change positions and locations. It might be exactly what is needed to go from pals to partners.

Rekindling the romance isn’t about grand gestures one night every six months. It’s about the small things you do for each other – just like when you first met one another – talking, listening, holding hands, snuggling, doing favorite activities together and letting your partner know how much you love and appreciate them every day. WGW