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thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
Volume 106, Issue 71 www.westerngazette.ca Contact: www.westerngazette.ca University Community Centre Gloria Dickie Rm. 263 Editor-In-Chief The University of Western Ontario Nicole Gibillini London, ON, CANADA Deputy Editor N6A 3K7 Cam Parkes Editorial Offices: (519) 661Managing Editor 3580 Advertising Dept.: (519) 661-3579 The Gazette is owned and published by the University Students’ Council.
Gazette Composing & Gazette Advertising Ian Greaves, Manager Robert Armstrong
Karen Savino Diana Watson
Editorials are decided by a majority of the editorial board and are written by a member of the editorial board but are not necessarily the expressed opinion of each editorial board member. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the USC, The Gazette, its editors or staff.
Gazette Staff 2012-2013
Iain Boekhoff, Danielle Bozinoff, Jaclyn Carbone, Mary Ann Ciosk, David Czosniak, Megan Devlin, Jonathan Dunn, Chelsey Gauthier, Ross Hamilton, Danny Huang, Amanda Law, Logan Ly, Jared MacAdam, Sarah Mai Chitty, Sarah Manning, Bradley Metlin, Kaitlyn Oh, John Petrella, Sarah Prince, Chen Rao, Herb Richardson, Nathan Robbins-Kanter, Lily Robinson, Katie Roseman, Jasleen Sembhi, Nathan TeBokkel, Jacqueline Ting, Kate Wilkinson, Zoe Woods, Kartikeya Vishal, Usman Zahid, Mason Zimmer News Alex Carmona Jesica Hurst Cam Smith Aaron Zaltzman Arts & Life Sumedha Arya Brent Holmes Kevin Hurren Sports Richard Raycraft Jason Sinukoff Ryan Stern Opinions Ryan Hurlbut Associate Kaitlyn McGrath
The gazette, circa 1950s PAST ISSUES REVEAL SEXISM OF THE TIMES
Photography Andrei Calinescu Ritchie Sham Cameron Wilson Graphics Naira Ahmed Mike Laine Illustrations Christopher Miszczak Liwei Zhou Online Julian Uzielli Web Cameron Wilson Video Chris Kay
To submit a letter, go to westerngazette.ca and click on “Contact.” All articles, letters, photographs, graphics, illustrations and cartoons published in The Gazette, both in the newspaper and online versions, are the property of The Gazette. By submitting any such material to The Gazette for publication, you grant to The Gazette a non-exclusive, world-wide, royaltyfree, irrevocable license to publish such material in perpetuity in any media, including but not limited to, The Gazette‘s hard copy and online archives.
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ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION
February 6, 1953
In today’s world, there is a much broader understanding and perception of gender and sex. But 60 years ago, this was not the case. On the front page of The Gazette a story discussed a Western anatomy professor discovering a “skin test for determining true sex.” According to the article, the “true sex” of an individual could be determined by taking a sample of the individual’s body cells. “Examination of the cells will show whether the person is male or female regardless of his external physical appearance.” The article, too, describes hermaphrodites as being abnormal, and asserts this test will help individuals discover their true sex—only male or female.
From arbitration to community
November 7, 1952
Featured in this Gazette edition was an announcement for a new class called Theory of Measurements. Sounds boring, right? Well, to entice students, the announcement was paired with a cartoon depicting a young woman wearing a skimpy bikini with a suited professor writing down her measurements: 36. 23. 26. I bet more than just class enrollment rose that day.
November 12, 1954
A new fad hit the halls of Western back in 1954. Female students of all ages were donning purple and white toques and knee-length socks. While there was nearly unanimous favour for the bonnets, some women varied on their view of the socks. Doreen Spadoni, a second-year arts student said “A girl must have a certain shape of leg before she can wear them,” whereas Merle Houghtling, a first-year psychology student, hated the socks saying, “The stockings would only hide the legs.” And what did the men think about these socks? Well, according to Neil Desborough, a Mustang football player, the socks were “ugly” and added “The girls could at least shorten their skirts to give the poor male a small glimpse of a leg.”
February 25, 1955
“Do you believe in artificial birth control? In this edition of The Gazette, 125 students were polled and 74 per cent said yes, they supported the use of artificial birth control. It cites the main reason for favouring artificial contraceptive methods was that it would help control overpopulation and food shortage. Those against it claimed it was immoral and was against “natural law.”
By: Kaitlyn McGrath Associate Editor
December 12, 1952
It looks like Gazette editors wanted to unwrap more than just presents when they released their annual Christmas edition. Posing on the cover of the December issue was 20-year-old Carmal Shaughnessy, a second-year journalism student in a sweet Mrs. Claus’ suit seductively rolling up her stockings. The caption underneath the photo reads, “This is what we like about Christmas. Anyway, you have the candy cane, but we’ll take Carmel.” Looks like the writer might have been on the naughty list.
During the 1950s, the University of Western Ontario had a tradition of naming both a Queen and King of the Ball. The Queen was named at the UC Ball and the King was declared at the Business Ball. In 1953, the honours went to Anne Kimball—toted her majesty Anne I—and Richard G. Morris. Apparently at King Richard’s coronation, he showed great respect for his beautiful queen and presented her “with the one crown which all queens cherish: a kiss.”
February 12, 1954
“They May be the Weaker Sex But Girls Top Blood Drive.” Can you imagine a headline like this in an issue today? I certainly hope not. Seems back in the 1950s being sexist was A-okay. According to the article, during the “Blood for Polio” clinic, “the men passed out in a ratio of four to one over the women,” said Joan Armstrong of the school of nursing. And despite this statistic, The Gazette still felt inclined to label females the weaker sex.
February 20, 1953
It seems in the 1950s the descriptions used were far more, shall we say, colourful. “Six beautiful hunks of masculine pulchritude were named as candidates for King of the Business Ball in the nominations held at Goodholme this Monday and Tuesday. The six bundles of beefcake picked were…”
And just to make all the women jealous, let me inform you that bras prices were far less padded than they are today. According to an Exquisite Form Brassieres advertisement, prices ranged from $1.00-2.50. Now that’s a price I can support.
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
Alex Carmona News Editor
When I reflect on the memory of how I met my boyfriend, I like being able to recall getting to know each other over wine and dinner. It’s the type of story you can tell your kids. I’m not sure if I would tell [them] that their parents started dating after a few drunk hook-ups at parties. —Christine Bonk
Third-year media, information and technoculture student
Glynn characterized the experience as high risk, high reward. “The disadvantage, upfront, is you have less of an idea of if it’s going to work. It could have very well ended up that we woke up next to each other and said, ‘Wow, that was a horrible idea, now we
have to live with each other.’ Thankfully it’s going fine, but I see that as a pretty solid risk. The advantage of it is that it’s a ton of fun—but a part of that might even be because of the risk involved,” he explained. While the ‘traditional’ first date is undoubtedly less common than it once was, there are still some Western students who can claim to have been truly wined and dined. Christine Bonk, a third-year media, information and technoculture student, met her current boyfriend at Western’s Bill Nye event. After some initial textflirting, she found herself at The Church Key Bistro, on the kind of date that wouldn’t have been out of place in the 50s. “I think the first advantage of dating the ‘traditional way’ is that both partners are clear about their intentions. A lot of the time, when people are hooking up, it’s not clear whether either partner is just interested in the relationship for the purely physical aspect,” Bonk explains. “When a person asks someone on a traditional first date, it shows they’re are serious about getting to know you. Also, there’s a certain charm to a traditional first date. When I reflect on the memory of how I met my boyfriend, I like being able to recall getting to know each other over wine and dinner. It’s the type of story you can tell your kids. I’m not sure if I would tell my kids that their parents
started dating after a few drunk hook-ups at parties,” she adds. However, dating has moved strongly into the new millennium with a plethora of online services designed to set you up with your soulmate, a casual sex buddy or anything in between. Yet with the rise of the smartphone, even online dating has lost its sheen as the newest, most cutting edge dating method. Jeremy Heppenstall, a fourthyear accounting student, and his boyfriend Chris Yenney met via the smartphone application Grindr, toted as “the gay, bi and curious guy finder.” Grindr uses your phone’s embedded GPS to broadcast and receive locations of all members of the exclusively
male social network. “I never had the intention of meeting up with anyone online and really just activated a profile as a means of making new friends, and also giving myself a boost of self-confidence. It turned out to be a lot more then that,” Heppenstall said. Heppenstall and Yenney noted while there remained some stigma attached to couples who met online, the benefits of doing so more than makes up for it. “I think [our relationship] turned out better [because we met via Grindr],” Heppenstall concluded. “When we physically met each other, it was actually more comfortable because we already new each other quite well.”
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Like so much to do with sexuality these days, the concept of dating has adopted a tangled web of meanings. Especially hazy has become that all important, nervewracking, heart-racing time during which two people make the transition to couplehood. Where before, the dinner date reigned supreme, modern university students have embraced a myriad of alternative routes to finding their special someone. One such option that has risen to greater prominence since our parents were on the hunt is the random hook-up. From clubs to bars, to house parties, the social scene at Western provides endless opportunities to skip that awkward small talk and get right to the fun stuff. Talk to a parent and maybe they’ll tell you it ruins the romance, sucks the mystery of a new relationship or prevents good relationships from forming altogether. Jon Glynn, an Ivey student at Western who has been dating his girlfriend for over a year, is living proof that such is not the case. “The first time we ever kind of met was actually in class. But it was just a ‘saw her across the room’ kind of thing. We hadn’t really talked. Later on, we planned on going to a movie with a whole bunch of people, then everyone else ditched and it was ultimately
just the two of us. So I guess it was one of these accidental dates that we didn’t even knew was going to happen. A couple days later we all went out to Jack’s. We were basically just drunk and dancing and some things happened, which is really what started it all,” he said.
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First date ideas
On a cooking date you have complete control over the situation, it’s cheaper, more intimate and can be much less stressful than going out. Best of all, you’ll look a hell of a lot more impressive cooking your date’s honey rosemary chicken and stir-fry vegetables than you will ordering it. What’s that? You don’t know how to cook? Well, don’t worry. Cooking simple meals is so easy anyone can do it. If you’re stumped for ideas, try dusting off that cookbook your mom got you in first year that’s currently propping up your desk. Pro tip: Make sure you’re right in the middle of cooking when your date arrives and leave out plenty of wine.
A great twist on a classic first date, but at a comedy show you can eat and be entertained at the same time. Comedy shows aren’t usually too pricey and they’re a more relaxed setting. You have the opportunity to engage in conversation, but can also focus your attention on the act during any awkward pauses. Plus, who doesn’t like to laugh? Just make sure you pick the right night, otherwise most of your post-date conversation will be about how awkward it was when that guy played cringe-worthy songs on his banjo.
Skating + hot chocolate
Okay, this one is more so for the winter, but the best part is the only
thing you need is to know how to skate. You can help your date hobble on the ice, making sure you get real close when showing them how to stride. Throw in post-skating hot chocolate, and you’ve got a recipe for a real icebreaker.
What better way to start things off on a heated note than getting physical with your date? Rock climbing is a unique way to break the ice and turn up the heat. Physical activity is known to help couples bond more. Not a strong rock climber? Don’t worry. Doing something challenging shows your date you’re adventurous and willing to step out of your comfort zone. You can even get a little friendly competition going. —Aaron Zaltzman
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thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
Kevin Hurren Arts & Life Editor “You have about seven minutes left,” said the rock climbing instructor, but the humour was lost for both her and my blind date. I was tempted to explain the connection of what she said to my
byline, but figured it would be difficult to do so while clinging to the coloured grooves of the climbing wall. This was just one of many moments during my blind date when I had an internal dialogue, a battle going on between what was happening on the date and in my head.
Before the Date Reality: The senior management of The Gazette, which consists of three editors who know me pretty well, had found a nice guy for the annual Sex Issue blind date and planned a night of dinner and activities. In my head: Before this experience, I don’t think I had ever fully realized what it meant to go on a blind date. One would usually use Facebook and other social media sites to gain a good understanding of who the person is—but I, with nothing to go on, wasn’t even sure if he was a Western student. Also, I kept wondering how my editors setting up the date would find a guy—were they standing outside Lavish with a sign?
The Night Of Reality: Having arrived early at Moxie’s, the assigned dinner location, I spent the next few minutes looking through the menu until my date arrived. In my Head: I couldn’t look up from the menu. I physically couldn’t take my eyes off the folder in front of me. Every time I glanced by the entrance, a wave of nerves came over me. It was like being in a constant state of hypersensitivity. I practically jumped every time someone walked by my table, and I could almost count the fake lashes of our waitress when she came by with a round of water.
The Dinner Reality: After my date arrived, we spent the next hour eating and piecing together who the other person was. We talked about things like our programs, where we’re from and our families. In my head: I scrambled to remember the rules of what to order during a date. Soups had too much slurping, salads were supposedly unflattering to eat, meats were sometimes tough to cut and sandwiches or burgers had to be eaten with hands. So what did that leave? To avoid chewing on my straw for the next hour I ended up picking pasta—I know, the sauce spills. But, admittedly, at this point of the date I was beginning to feel more comfortable. This wasn’t because I was any less nervous, but my date had a calming charm about him that let me dial it down a bit.
The Date’s End The rest of the night involved getting ice cream and talking for a bit more on the ride home. I would write about it more, but I have to remember this is the school’s newspaper, not my diary. If anyone reading this has a blind date coming up, I wish you luck. My only advice would be to try getting out of your head for a little while and enjoy the reality of the moment because, in my case, reality was much better. Reality: It was a great date with a great guy. In my head: It was a great date with a great guy.
After-Dinner Activities Reality: When we finished dinner, my date and I headed to Fleetway for the aforementioned rock climbing, as well as a game of mini putt and a few rounds of pool. In my head: I must have been deprived as a child, because I was a complete amateur at everything we tried. I did beat my personal best during rock climbing, but when it came to mini putt and pool I floundered around. Although I faced some embarrassing losses, the conversation during these points of the night was the best, and the longer we stayed at Fleetway, the easier the date became. Mike Laine Gazette
Q&A >> Kevin’s date After the blind date, we interviewed Gareth Charles, the lucky guy we set Kevin up with. Contrary to Kevin’s first thoughts, we didn’t stand in front of Lavish with a sign to find Gareth. It was a lot easier than that. Here are some of Gareth’s thoughts on how the night went—and what’s to come of the two in the future.
1. What made you want to go on the blind date? Had you gone on one before? I have never [gone] on a blind date before, so I thought it would be a good experience to try.
2. What were your expectations going into the date? My expectations were constantly changing going into the date. Mostly, I felt that the night could have gone either way. We could have had great chemistry together and enjoyed each other’s company, or it could have flopped.
3. What were your FIRST Impressions of Kevin? When I first met Kevin, he seemed a bit nervous, which I found amusing because I felt the exact same way—so we were both in the same boat.
4. What was your favourite part of the date? I feel that talking with him was the best part, so I would say the social aspect after dinner. Socializing with him allowed me to get to know him a lot better—what his passions are, what he values, et cetera. The more we talked, the more I understood him.
5. Overall, how did you think it went? I think the date went well. I had a good time meeting Kevin, and I’m interested in getting to know him a bit more. We’re planning on going on another date, so I am under the impression he is interested in getting to know me a bit more as well!
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
THE EVOLUTION OF Boyshorts versus thongs CONTRACEPTION The Tables Have Sterned
Ryan Stern Sports Editor
Boyshorts Caroline Wang Gazette
16th century to present day While there is debate over the possible use of condoms before the 16th century, they really came into their own in 1564, when an experimental condom design composed of chemically-soaked linen stopped the devastating effects of syphilis that were sweeping through Europe. More recent incarnations of the condom are made out of latex or other rubbers. These more durable materials have even been used for reusable condoms, which came with their own little carrying case in the early 1900s. “In the 1920s and 30s, the birth control movement became overwhelmingly concerned with the notion of eugenics—the idea that there needed to be a fit race, and that ‘undesirables’ should not be reproducing,” Monda Halpern, a Western professor who teaches the history of sex and sexuality explains.
Birth control pill 1960 to present day
The birth control pill is an oral contraceptive that controls hormone levels in females, and greatly
reduces the risk of pregnancy. “When the idea of birth control became a reform movement in North America in the 1880s and 90s, it was focused only on married women,” Halpern explains. “It was generally assumed that single women maintained their virginity until marriage, and therefore had no use for birth control.” “Birth control was intended to limit the number, and regulate the spacing, of pregnancies for married women,” she adds. This pill has to be taken on a rigorous timetable, but it has the added benefit of controlling the exact time the uterine wall sheds. While extremely popular in North America, this method does not protect sexual partners from STDs.
The name is unappealing, but that is about the only thing unattractive about boyshorts. Yes, they lack the exposure of thongs, g-strings, regular underwear and just about every other undergarment this side of granny panties, but there is something about seeing a girl in boyshorts that makes guys go bonkers. Is it the comfort of knowing your mate of choice looks good in anything they wear? Maybe it’s the visual of seeing the contours of your
partner’s body while leaving some room for the imagination. Whatever it is, sign me up, lock the door and throw the keys away because I’m in. Give me any colour, design, frill or peak because these secret holders are A-okay. The way they roll off the skin is just so damn visually appealing. When they hit the floor the sensuality is enough to make a man melt. When choosing colour, it’s really easy—keep it simple. Guys don’t want to see rainbows or sparkles because the point of boy shorts is to draw attention to the contours of the female body. Just a word of advice for those employing the boyshorts—keep the writing off the butt. I don’t want to feel like I should sign myself up for a sexual offenders list. But when the pants hit the floor and it’s boyshorts blocking the way, it’s certain to get the blood flowing. Easy on the eyes, yet hard in the pants, boyshorts are the way to go.
Thongs What can I say about these gifts from above that has not already been said? They have the power to simultaneously drive a man crazy while also keeping him as stiff as a stick. Not much is left to the imagination, but since when has a lack of
clothing ever been an issue? These delicate undergarments let your partner know you are ready to get down and dirty. If you’re feeling more adventurous, it’s certain your partner won’t say no. Symptoms of thong-wearing include light-headedness, heart palpitations, short-term memory loss, tunnel vision and plummeting Viagra sales.
They are tantalizingly lacking, yet positively maddening. What they lack in actual material they make up for in sex appeal. If a night ends with a thong on the floor, you know it has been a successful endeavor. A lady cannot really go wrong with a thong, but if I were to choose my favourite fanny flosser, I would have to go the conservative route with solid colours and lacking pizzazz. If I were to give advice to women everywhere, I would say let your body and the thong speak for themselves.
Under development Currently undergoing trials in India, this contraceptive consists of a polymer gel injected into the male penis that lasts for approximately 10 years. This gel can be removed at any time and does not create any pressure, as it protects against pregnancy by weakening the sperm. This method is 100 per cent effective, but still consists of a needle in the penis. —Ryan Hurlbut Source: navywifecook.com
Kevin Hurren Arts & Life Editor The anteater or the one-eyed trouser snake? The turtleneck or the Cyclops? The pet elephant or the big-headed yogurt slinger? The battle between an uncircumcised penis and a circumcised one, or ‘uncut’ and ‘cut,’ has been raging for centuries. While the debate may thrust on, each comes with its own set of pros and cons.
The Good: Uncircumcised penises are a little bigger than their cut brothers, mainly due to the fact the extra skin adds a bit of girth and provides more room for the penis to grow in. Another advantage is the foreskin creates a lubricated surface, one that slides up and down the head, making hand and blow jobs easier, and, until you finish, less messy. The Bad: Due to the shield of foreskin, uncut penises are more sensitive when the skin is pulled back. While this may make for some pleasurable experiences, the increased sensitivity can cause pain or become a little too much, ending the night’s festivities early.
The Good: This kind of penis has seen some pretty hard times, left exposed to the harsh elements and coarse fabrics. Overall, this makes cut penises less sensitive, meaning the sexual encounter will be an uphill battle—but doesn’t that make getting to the top so much more worth it? Cut penises will also, generally, have bigger heads, which can offer more immediate pleasure during penetration. The Bad: Unfortunately, without the extra skin, it’s easy to fall into a game of tug of war with your partner’s happy place. An overzealous rub down can feel less like a climax and more like an Indian burn. This doesn’t get any easier if the helping hand comes after some oral glory, as saliva will quickly dry out the skin and make the process more difficult.
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thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
thegazette â€˘ Friday, February 8, 2013
Mike Laine Gazette
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
CHANGING FIGURES ON THE SILVER SCREEN Jesica Hurst News Editor
It was only 25 years ago when being a single mother on television was considered scandalous. When the creators of American comedy Murphy Brown decided Murphy would have a child without the father’s support, critics wrote about how irresponsible and even taboo it was for a television series to present something so frowned upon in every day culture. Since then, there has been a significant shift in how female sexuality is represented on television. Just last April, Lena Dunham’s popular television series Girls premiered on HBO—a show, which has been coined as the modern day Sex and the City, that looks at everything from insecurities about the body to awkward sexual encounters.
But most importantly, these topics are being explored from a female point of view. So what could have happened in the last two decades to make this kind of sexual exploration acceptable?
I think you can really tell sometimes when a series is driven by a male ego or a female ego. —Andrea Allen
Women’s studies professor at Western
Andrea Allen, a women’s studies professor at Western, believes
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it has to do with who is creating these series. “There has been a change in who is leading these types of shows, which I think is important,” Allen said. “Lena Dunham is the producer, director and writer of Girls, where she is naked half the time on the show, while Darren Star was the producer and writer of Sex and the City. I think you can really tell sometimes when a series is driven by a male ego or a female ego.” Even though Allen said men could obviously still write about their experiences or ideas of women’s sexuality, having women behind the scenes and being in charge adds another layer of complexity to their representation on television. However, newer shows like Girls tend to focus on a younger
generation of women—a generation Allen explains is still searching for their identity. The characters on Sex and the City were in their 30s, established in their careers and, for the most part, already comfortable with their sexuality. In Girls, Dunham looks at the side of womanhood that is a mixture between sexual exploration and anxiety. Allen believes Dunham is paving the way for more television series to portray women’s sexuality in similar ways. “Because Girls is popular, it will open the doors for other young women to perhaps have their projects move forward,” she said. “Will everything that comes through those doors be good television? No. But it’s better to have a variety of representation than only one representation of womanhood.”
Finding your true bra size
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In an earth-shattering revelation, Oprah once proclaimed on her then-daily afternoon talk show eight out of 10 women are wearing the wrong bra size. And it may not simply be a matter of choosing the wrong size to begin with, but as Jane Collins, the self-proclaimed “bra lady” and certified professional bra fitter explains, as women’s bodies change over the span of their lifetime, their bra size, too, fluctuates. “You probably will change your bra size seven times in your lifetime,” Collins says. And even before pulling out the measuring tape, there are a few telltale signs a woman is wearing the incorrect size bra—the band rides up the back, straps slide off, excess
breast tissue spills out over the cup. But at the end of the day, it’s about feeling comfortable and it’s up to the woman to decipher that. “It’s just basically common sense,” Collins adds. Collins went on to explain in the hunt for the right bra size, many women are at a loss as to what they should be looking for. She suggested women, at least every couple of years, should be fitted for a bra professionally. However, in a pinch, there is a basic guideline to correctly measure around the bust. Collins explains to first measure underneath the armpit. This number will be the band width—and if it’s an odd number, just add one. Then measure around the fullest part of the bust. Then, with those two numbers, simply subtract the smaller measurement from the
larger measurement and you’ll get your cup size. “With a difference between one and two inches it’s a B, two to twoand-a-half is a C, two-and-a-half to three is a CC, three to four is a D and four would be a DD,” Collins explains. For many women, choosing the right bra size may not be of the utmost importance—it may even come second to proper fitting clothing. However, Collins stresses the importance of discovering the truthful size. “Having good undergarments makes such a difference,” she says. “I see a lot of ladies and they’ve got really beautiful clothes and they have just dreadful bras. When they put a good bra on underneath, it makes such a difference—some people look like they’ve lost 10 pounds.”
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
Nothing says sexy like an adult beverage before some adult fun. Before you and your partner slip into something more comfortable, you should sip on something a little stronger. Even if you’re a spitter, here are a few liquids you simply must swallow. ProsecCo: Sparkling wine connotes celebration, and nothing deserves to be celebrated more than some skin-on-skin time with your significant other. Just because you’re on a student budget doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the bubbly—a
Mike Laine Gazette
bottle of Prosecco will serve just as effectively as a bottle of champagne. Try a bottle of Blu Giovello Prosecco, it’s loaded with notes of lemon rind and pear, with a pleasant, refreshing acidity. Only $14.95 at the LCBO, Blu is an affordable way to commence an intimate evening. Red wine: No drink is more associated with sex than red wine. This dark, sexy potion is as potent as your passion. A good bottle of red does more for ardour than any number of sweet nothings. For some reasonably priced romance,
try a bottle of Penfolds Koonunga Hill Cabernet Sauvignon. Packed with flavours of wood, vanilla and red berries, this wine will certainly get engines revving. The wine sells for $13.65 at the LCBO.
you from head to toe, almost as effectively as your partner. It’s not particularly cheap, but you can’t put a price on a good session of heavy petting. Pick up a 375mL bottle for $45.95.
Cognac: When things start to get hot and heavy, you need a fluid to match—and nothing is more conducive to this than cognac. Dense, rich and deep amber in colour, cognac will correctly complement your coitus. Try Remy Martin VSOP Cognac, a honey, vanilla and peach ambrosia that will warm
Smoth’s Spanish coffee: After a vigorous session of affection with your significant other, it’s high time to perk up your spirits with a bit of caffeine. A sexy spin on your regular coffee is the Spanish version. While there are many different recipes for this legendary after-dinner beverage, I prefer to add one ounce of
brandy, and ½ ounce of Kahlua to a cup of strong coffee. Top with some whipped cream and rim the mug with coarse sugar if you’re feeling ambitious. Don’t worry about the calories—undoubtedly you and your partner will contrive some way to work them off. A little social lubricant accompanies the more corporeal variety perfectly. Pour it into some fine crystal, share a drink and a moment with your sexy someone and remember to sip it real slow. You’re going to want these moments to last. —Cam Smith
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
SEX TOY MARKET BEATING OFF THE URGE TO... ENTERS GREY AREA Brent Holmes Arts & Life Editor The success of E.L. James’ erotic romance novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, has brought new colours into the sex toy industry. With its featured use of bondage and toys, more people are taking an interest in different kinds of sex toys. “I think what it did was it opened some minds for women that were normally very hesitant to even enter a store like ours,” Tanja Legal, a manager at the Stag Shop, comments. Luna Beads Noir is just one of the toys featured in the infamous novel that has experienced a peak in popularity—but it’s a toy that requires a great deal of practice to use properly. “Just a little set of balls attached by a string that a woman would insert and hold for dear life. They’re weighted so if you don’t have good strength in those muscles obviously you lose them,” Legal remarks. “In the book, this woman is wearing the beads during intercourse and it is one of the most fabulous experiences. Now in reality, it’s not quite like that, but the way it is written has women intrigued in an item that they never even considered.” However, experimenting with these new toys has had a mixed response. While the novels describe feelings of immense pleasure, the experience can be a lot different from what is expected. “The way the stories apparently go—it’s not real. So you have these women coming in for these
products that they expect will be certain things at home, for them and their husbands and its not really the case,” Legal remarks. “They are coming in with these visions of fantasy and wondrous adventures—to go home to that partner you’ve had for 20 years, I think the magic is a little different.”
[Women] are coming in with these visions of fantasy and wondrous adventures—to go home to that partner you’ve had for 20 years, I think the magic is a little different. —Tanja Legal
Manager at Stag Shop
As of right now, the spike in interest in these toys has been more focused on women, particularly those in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Students and young people, however, have not shown as much of an interest in these items. “I think that university students and people in that age bracket, they are reading the books but not quite ready to come in and translate it into a purchase of that exploration,” Legal concludes. “Women in their 30s, 40s and 50s are past that shyness.”
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Richard Raycraft Sports Editor Masturbate. Now that I have your attention, I’d like to talk a little bit about playing with yourself. For this wonderful Sex Issue you are now holding before you, The Gazette wished to conduct a sick, twisted experiment. The idea was an editor would have to refrain from masturbating or watching porn for a month. Naturally, there was growing concern that no one would take up this impossible task. If there’s one thing I love more than beating off, it’s being the centre of attention, so I volunteered to do it. The philosopher Immanuel Kant thought masturbation was a violation of the moral law. His reasoning was it involved using oneself to gratify an animal drive. Similarly, Friedrich Nietzsche believed the retention of one’s semen was an essential ingredient to his ubermensch, or superman. If two of the most influential thinkers ever had such an unfavourable view of masturbation, surely it’s not all that great. Plus, becoming an
ubermensch sounded neat. I initially had a theory that my masturbation abstinence would motivate me to finally attempt to start a meaningful, fulfilling relationship. At about day four of my struggle, I realized all refraining from beating off really did was motivate me to beat off in a more vigorous fashion. Oh, and it turned me into a bit of a pervert. Seriously. My professor is explaining Japan’s foreign policy, and all that I can think about is Japanese models dressed like school girls teasing me as they slowly undress themselves while giggling at my embarrassingly erect dong. When I was in the military, there was this dreaded phenomenon entitled “the Prone Bone.” Living in an army barracks, there really isn’t much quality time to fumble with one’s genitalia. As a direct consequence of this, when you adopted the “prone” shooting position, you pretty much thought of it as making sweet love to the earth. This would result in quite the chubby. When I left the army, I thought I had seen the last of the Prone Bone, Your Weekly Horoscope The week of Feb 8 – 14
This horoscope is intended for entertainment purposes only.
ARIES – Mar 21/Apr 20 LIBRA – Sept 23/Oct 23 Be on your best behavior this week. Acquaintances Show others how good their lives can be if they just both new and established will have their eyes on follow a little of your own advice and take cues from you, and it is essential that you make a good what you have done already. Expect a few converts. impression. TAURUS – Apr 21/May 21 Although you may not be able to see into the future, you can plan for what may happen in the next few days. Now is the perfect time to check in with friends.
SCORPIO – Oct 24/Nov 22 You may be more focused on your fantasies and dream life than what is going on in your real life for the next few days. Just don’t wander around in a fog for too long.
GEMINI – May 22/Jun 21 SAGITTARIUS – Nov 23/Dec 21 Get all of your work ducks in a row because you It may be hard to concentrate this week, especially want to ensure you are up for the next promotion or with so many ideas floating around in your head. But pay increase. Now could be the time to make work do your best to stay focused. your top priority. CANCER – Jun 22/Jul 22 CAPRICORN – Dec 22/Jan 20 You may find that you have an easy time of reading Lend a helping hand when you see an opportunity to people this week. Use this trait to your advantage to do so. Donate your time to someone in need or help find out how certain people feel about your new ideas. a friend or family member complete a project. LEO – Jul 23/Aug 23 AQUARIUS – Jan 21/Feb 18 Don’t get too excited when things seem out of Clarify your needs and wants. Until you can delinewhack this week. Keep calm and find out how you ate between these factors you may be spending can set things on the right course. Lead by example, unnecessarily, which is not what your budget needs. and others will follow. VIRGO – Aug 24/Sept 22 PISCES – Feb 19/Mar 20 Try not to participate in any new activities this week. It may take a few days for you to handle things, but You are already over-extended. Clear your to-do lists don’t let that dissuade you from trying. Set your own before you take on any other responsibilities. timetable. FAMOUS BIRTHDAYS FEBRUARY 10 – Glenn Beck, Talk Show Host (49) FEBRUARY 12 – Judy Blume, Author (75) FEBRUARY 14 – Florence Henderson, Actress (79)
FEBRUARY 11 – Taylor Lautner, Actor (21) FEBRUARY 13 – Richard Tyson, Actor (52)
Take some time to recharge this winter. Check out the salon and spa coupons in your Westernizer.
but to my horror, it returned. I did my best to avoid sleeping on my stomach after about day three. It was humiliating. That’s not to say it was all bad. I spent some of the time and energy I would normally devote to jackin’ it on what was a sort of self-improvement project. My room was cleaner, my meals actually included vegetables and I wasn’t nearly as drowsy all the time. Unfortunately, too many of my waking hours were spent thinking thoughts that no one should ever think. If people had the ability to read minds, I would’ve probably been sent to prison, if not executed. Thank the lord I didn’t go to Brazilian jiu-jitsu class at any point. That would’ve been awkward. So, in all, I lasted about 10 days—a week and a bit, a third of what I was expected to do. It was the bluest meat-slapping of my life. I felt more animal than man. Down, but not out, I decided to try again, and I’m currently on day five of round two. I’m so motivated, in fact, I might not even masturbate right after I finish this column. But, then again…
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013
THE BARE NECESSITIES Plenty of fiFIsh on the web Julian Uzielli Online Editor
Cam Smith News Editor
In September 2010, Cosmopolitan featured a cover that boldly proclaimed ‘Untamed Va-jay-jays: Guess What Sexy Style is Back?’ Referring to women’s pubic hair styling, Cosmo’s cover begged the question, where did socalled ‘untamed’ pubic hair go, and was it really coming back? In recent years, women and men alike have gone to great lengths to minimize or completely remove the body hair ‘down there.’ While in the 70s and 80s, pornographic films and magazines unabashedly displayed bush, today any pubic hair portrayed is an oddity. “It is on the rise, no one wants hair. People find it cleaner, they want it gone, they like the smooth look,” Audrey Yeo, skin therapist at Blackfriars Salon and Spa, explains. “I’d say on average the people that come into our spa for Brazilians are about five a day.” While Brazilian waxing is stereotypically a task undertaken by women, a rising trend has been for men to have their pubes waxed. “There has been a demand for male Brazilians, but we don’t do that at our spa. It’s more popular in Toronto,” Yeo explains. Despite its popularity, the process of having pubic hair waxed is not a pleasant one. “The first time is always the worst. It’s not a pleasurable experience for the first time, or any time really,” Yeo explains.
“But people like the results.” Yeo ascribes the popularity of such an unpleasant procedure to a number of factors, including increased sexual sensation and an expectation propagated by the media. “From what my clients have told me, it helps with sex. They find they feel more sensation and also they just don’t like hair—it’s a lot cleaner. There’s less bacteria and less odour,” she says. “It’s also marketing. If you look at all the ads, these girls are wearing skimpy little bikinis or underwear—they’re basically showing it all, and there’s no hair. For sure, [the media] is a major influence.” Yet, for some, no amount of media inundation is enough to encourage them to go bare down there. “I prefer body hair,” a source who wished to remain anonymous says. “Personally, I’ve only slept with one hairless guy before, out of almost 20 [sexual partners].” For him, the media portrayal of people, particularly gay men, without body hair is skewed. “Especially in my community, the media portrays gay men as hairless and waxed, but it’s really not,” he says. “The media definitely misrepresents gay men.” Is the bush really back as Cosmo claimed? Perhaps not, but for some, body hair need not be demonized. “[Pubic hair is] not that bad. I don’t know why, as a society, we all feel we need to ‘man-scape,’” the source concludes.
A chance meeting in class or on the bus, the exchange of phone numbers, a first date at a nice restaurant, perhaps followed by a kiss goodnight—that doesn’t seem to happen much anymore. Among students, it seems more likely for some barely-acquainted Facebook friends to meet by chance at a party, get drunk enough to have sex and save the awkward questions about phone numbers and dates until the next morning. I make no moral objection to this, since that would make me a hypocrite. But the fact remains—this isn’t your parents’ dating scene. But perhaps it’s not as different as you think. That traditional mentality is still around—it’s just disguised as the modern phenomenon of online dating. I had my first experience with online dating in the summer of 2011. After exchanging messages on OKCupid, my date and I met
for coffee to establish that neither of us was the next star of To Catch A Predator. We got to know each other a bit, and went out a couple more times for drinks after that before calling it quits. It was not exactly a great romance. But although my relationship history runs the gamut from casual to serious, that was the only time I’ve ever done the proper first-date-with-someoneI-don’t-really-know thing. There was no creeping of Facebook profiles before or after because we never exchanged last names— the entire process of breaking the ice happened through a series of face-to-face conversations. What a concept. Online dating is a curious thing. Obviously, it is a product of the digital age—the millions of users on websites like OKCupid, Plenty of Fish or LavaLife create personalized profiles, connect based on mutual attraction and interests, and forge relationships that may never have begun without the Internet.
But there is something very old-fashioned about online dating, as well. The concept lends itself to a more traditional dating process—two strangers decide they are interested in one another based on some combination of looks and personality, and they make plans to get to know each other better. Being strangers to begin with, they’re probably more likely to take things slowly. Of course, this was my only experience with online dating, and maybe it was just an anomaly. But considering the Internet facilitated the whole thing, the very epitome of our times, I was surprised by how un-modern it felt. The process of forming relationships is being reinvented by digital technology and a more openly sexual culture, and that’s not necessarily bad. But if you’re a more traditional sort and you feel like stepping outside your comfort zone—and your social circle—try signing up for a dating site. You might be surprised.
thegazette • Friday, February 8, 2013