Tuesday, February 11, 2020 - Sex Issue

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THE RISE OF IUDs

Not just your mom’s contraception

By Emily Tayler IUDs, or intrauterine devices, aren’t new to the birth control scene. But now, more than ever, young women are turning to the little plastic devices to prevent pregnancy.

IUDs are small pieces of T-shaped plastic that can stop the fertilization process before it even starts. It’s the most effective and most consistent birth control method, with 99.1 per cent effectiveness and zero daily maintenance, though it offers no protection against STIs. There are two types of IUDs: hormonal and copper.

Hormonal IUDs prevent pregnancy through slowly releasing progesterone, paralyzing sperm in the uterine cavity and thinning the lining of the uterus to

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prevent an egg from implanting. It also causes lighter periods, or even none at all.

Copper IUDs work the opposite way: they make the uterus lining thicker, so a fertilized egg is unable to implant.

Copper IUDs can make for a heavier flow.

Until just recently, IUDs were marketed towards older women who had already given birth, and many younger women avoided them, assuming insertion would be too difficult.

This changed when the Jaydess (also known as the Skyla) IUD came along in 2013.

The Jaydess, before it became obsolete, was a three-year hormonal IUD, smaller than the traditional copper

IUDs. As Dr. Sonya Malone — lead physician at Student Health Services — explains, it was the first IUD marketed towards young women.

“All of a sudden, an ad went up in our waiting room and we got multiple requests for IUDs, and I really think that the interest began from marketing,” she explains. “I think through various strategies, the drug companies have sold these devices to [young] women.”

And then the Kyleena IUD hit the market three years after — just as small as the Jaydess and effective for five years, replacing the old model.

Student Health Services has always offered IUD insertion procedures, and since they primarily treat young women who haven’t given birth, this difficult demographic has become their area of expertise.

“I really think that we shouldn’t be underestimating the capabilities of our practitioners and what we can do with medications and with timing of insertion,” Dr. Malone said. “We can’t deny younger women the opportunity to have reliable contraception.”

Even with experienced doctors, the insertion process can still be painful, ranging between cramping and pinching sensations.

“I think you have to accept a certain degree of unpredictability with a progesterone IUD,” explains Dr. Malone.

While many women experience no side effects at all, potential symptoms like spotting and hormone changes can be disruptive. If that’s the case, the removal process is significantly easier and less painful then putting it in.

“I often tell my patients, you know if you were stranded on a desert island, you could take this out yourself even — it’s certainly that straightforward,” Dr. Malone says, adding, “although I certainly don’t recommend that.”

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Western’s

steamiest syllabi Profs on teaching about sex

By Sarah Wallace

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ex isn’t always taught — but when it is, you can find courses about it on campus.

Western University offers a variety of courses on sex and gender across disciplines, on main campus and at the affiliates. They vary from sexual intimacy and STIs to the philosophy of relationships.

Kascindra Shewan, a women’s studies professor, described her course, Sex, how to: sex education, its history and controversies. “[It] gave me an avenue to explore with students some of the more playful aspects of gender, sex and sexuality alongside some of the more pressing problems related to the topic,” she said.

But the conversation of sex and identity can still be taboo in education.

“Sex is widely regarded today as a private and personal issue; education takes place in a public and professional setting,” said Monda Halpern, professor of Sexual History. “Many believe the two don’t mix, especially those parents who want to control what their children should and shouldn’t learn and when.”

Although sex education in younger grades can be rocky, professor Iman Ibrahim argues that students typically have no discomfort in the classroom. “[Sex] is an ambiguous word and it has been used differently in various contexts,” Ibrahim said, who teaches Sex Differences in Human Brain and Behaviour. “There is … minimal discomfort, especially that most of the students enrolled in the course are third or fourth-year students.”

Certain classes dive deep into sensitive topics and conversations, like abortion, female genital mutilation and the HIV-AIDS crisis of the 1980s.

These topics can be difficult no matter what, said Halpern.

“Sex education — the kind and quality, or even if it’s present or not — will undoubtedly have an impact on the ways in which future generations will conduct themselves as sexual citizens,” said Shewan.

SEX ED MUST START SOONER AND BE BETTER By the Editorial Board

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ids today deserve better sex-ed than what we got.

The Ford government made headlines this summer when they introduced their new elementary school sex education curriculum. The new curriculum was overall very similar to the 2015 Liberal one it was designed to replace, angering both liberal and conservative voters, who expected more drastic repeals.

The current curriculum starts teaching consent in grade three, sexual orientation and reproduction in grade five and condom use and gender identity in grades seven and eight. But while this is a huge improvement from the 1998 curriculum that our editorial board grew up with — which predated the legalization of gay marriage in 2005 and didn’t even touch on internet culture — it’s still a far cry from perfect.

Growing up, our parents had no concept of the bottomless pit the internet would become, and it’s only gotten worse since then. Short of monitoring a child’s every move online, there is lit-

tle a parent can do to shield their child until they’re “ready” for the world of sex and porn online.

Kids need to be learning about sex and the LGBTQ2+ community — the earlier the better.

Young LGBTQ2+, and especially young trans kids, will likely be struggling with their sexual and gender identity long before the concept is introduced to them in classrooms. Introducing these concepts at an earlier age can only help normalize these kids’ experiences and help them put a name to their feelings.

Starting this at a younger age not only helps kids who may be struggling with their identity, but also helps normalize the LGBTQ2+ community for their peers, creating a more accepting society.

It’s also important for kids to be learning about other aspects of sexuality earlier.

The longer you wait to teach kids about sexuality, its only more likely they will poke fun at it and make jokes,

because they don’t understand. With this comes a lot of the shame and awkwardness we feel around sex.

It’s been argued that teaching kids about sex too young might make them fail to understand it, or even tempt them to go out and try it themselves.

But it all comes down to teaching methods — there’s a big difference between educating and encouraging.

Giving a child more knowledge about themselves and their bodies can’t hurt.

More and more kids are being exposed to sex at an earlier age. For many kids, especially for boys, their first impression is porn — a medium which, at best, portrays an objectifying, idealized version of sex, and often conflates harm and violence with sexuality.

A child’s first introduction to sex should never be through porn: it’s harmful to them and their future partners.

Kids should be introduced to sexuality with factual, neutral and honest conversation. If this is how we teach children everything else, how do we expect them to learn in sex ed?

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FUCK

How to handle the friend you

By Kendra Carey

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t’s 3 a.m. — You’re scrounging around for your clothes, and hear a half-asleep voice, “you might as well spend the night.”

Scoffing, you call an Uber and walk out the door.

You could’ve spent the night, but what would that have led to? Cuddling? Late-night kisses? Breakfast?

A relationship?

For some in a friends-with-benefits relationship, the boundaries between dating and casually hooking up can get blurry. How do you keep it clear?

DO: be honest and open about what you want Every relationship will have different types of boundaries, so they might be worth talking to your FWB about beforehand.

Jocelyn Ames, a third-year psychology student, would go on dates with her FWB. “I know it can get messy if you don’t have the conversation of ‘this is what I am looking for,’” said Ames.

Things did get messy one weekend after Ames went to a concert in Toronto with her FWB, spending over $600 on tickets, the Airbnb and a train ticket.

“After that trip is when I felt it,” she said, adding she felt like they were putting in too much to keep it casual.

She ended up coming clean about her feelings, and although it didn’t end up working out, Ames doesn’t regret it.

The conversation about boundaries is a bit different for Mathieu Jarvis, a fourth-year psychology and political science student at King’s University College.

“I usually hook up with guys who are closeted, so if we see each other in-person I know we shouldn’t talk,” he said.

Jarvis learned this boundary also applied to his life online, after he got caught tweeting about his FWB. “The girl he was hooking up with saw my tweets, and she wanted to be in a relationship with him.”

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, all was well after Jarvis apologized. He said they talked about it and may see each other again.

DON’T: assume anything Ames feels that too often people assume she is on birth control because she is a woman.

“It has to be a two-way communication, don’t point the finger at the other gender,” she said.

She expressed that she feels too many people assume their partner has been tested, and feels disappointed that she is often the first to bring it up.

DO: be willing to learn Alexandra Baer, a first-year at Brescia University College, looks for openness and willingness to learn in her sexual partners.

“Usually people aren’t as good as they think they are, and I’m not here for that,” said Baer. “I would prefer to enjoy sex.”

Baer prefers FWB to a no-stringsattached relationship, noting there is more opportunity to explore what the other person likes and learn from each other.

DON’T: ignore anything that makes you uncomfortable Baer recalled a time when she declined an invite from her FWB to go see a movie. She initially thought this wouldn’t be a problem. But he went on to ask her three more times, making her feel uneasy.

“It’s dark and we don’t really talk — what does that add to our relationship,” she said. “There was a little voice in my head saying that it was a bad sign and I should stop talking to him.”

Baer regrets pushing this thought aside, noting that it was a red flag she should not have ignored as he went on to disrespect her boundaries throughout the course of the relationship.

“Never settle for less than what you think your best friend deserves,” she said.

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Dating Advice from the Young and Old “Discuss a few things before it’s too late … like how you view money and nances.

Are you going to have children?... Don’t be surprised ve years into your marriage.” ””””””””””””””””””””””””

“Have a no shame-policy. There is no shame in anything that you’re into.” ”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

“Be nice, be kind, be good to each other. The young people now, especially the students here, they’re stressing so much, they need a nice smile, a nice chocolate, maybe one ower would be good too.” ””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””” “Not to rush things and to start with friendship.” ”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

“Our new generation is becoming less stigmatizing towards sex and kink — I think it’s a really good time to try what you want. Don’t be afraid of that judgement and nd that person you’re comfortable with to try all these new things.” ””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””” “Never be afraid of handcuffs.” ””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

“If you meet someone, say at Western [University], then go off to have a career and you want that relationship to be stronger, if it can survive a long distance relationship while you both pursue your careers, without taking away from the relationship, then it will survive.” ””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

“Get out of your comfort zone and look [stuff] up … just don’t trust Fifty Shades of Grey, but other than that there’s so much you could experiment with. You don’t have to tell anyone about it.” ”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

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36 Questions to Fall in Love at Western

By Hope Mahood, Rania Osman and Taniya Spolia Having trouble finding your perfect Mustang Match?

Well look no further — our highly-trained team of editors sat down with a bottle of wine and too much time on their hands to bring you these 36 questions to fall in love with a fellow mustang.

Simply sit down, stare into your partner’s eyes, and take turns answering each question — let the Mustang love begin!

SET 1: JUST GETTING INTO IT...

1. Given the choice of anyone, who would you want to headline next year’s Purple Fest?

2. Would you want to be USC president? Why or why not?

3. Do you go back and double check your Scantron answers? Why? 4. What’s your perfect course schedule?

5. When was the last time a London bus did you wrong? What happened?

6. If you could go back and relive one day from your first year, what would it be?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about which of your friends will be the most successful?

8. Name three ways or places where you could have met your partner on campus?

9. Who are you most grateful to have met at Western?

10. If you had the opportunity to go back and attend a different university, would you? Why? 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner the story of your time at Western in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow and be famous at Western for one thing — what would it be?

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SET 2: GETTING DEEPER NOW...

13. If a crystal ball could tell you what your final GPA will be, but once you see it you couldn’t do anything to change it, would you want to know?

14. Is there a quintessential Western thing you’ve wanted to do but haven’t done yet? Why not?

15. What’s your proudest moment at Western?

16. What do you value most in a roommate?

SET 3: YOU HIT THE G-SPOT!

20. Make three “we” statements you believe to be true about you and your partner’s Western experiences.

21. Complete the sentence: “I wish I had met someone at Western who could …”

22. If you and your partner were going to share a bunked single room in Deli for a year please share what it would be important for them to know.

17. What will you miss most about Western when you graduate?

23. Give your partner three genuine compliments not based on their appearance.

13. What has been your worst experience at university?

24. Share the story of your worst drunken mistake.

14. If you knew you were going to die suddenly in a year, would you finish your degree/stay in school?

Why?

25. When was the last time an exam or a course made you cry?

15. Describe what Western’s culture is to you.

16. What role does romance, as opposed to hookup culture, play in your life?

17. Alternate sharing five things you admire about your partner based on what they’ve told you so far.

18. How homesick did you feel when you first came to Western? Do you like going home to visit your family now?

19. Do your parents support what you’re studying?

26. What was one campus controversy that went too far?

27. Who is one person you lost touch with after first year but wish you hadn’t?

28. Would you rather flunk a year or have your closest friend kicked out of school?

29. Your first-year dorm catches fire — what one item do you save?

30. Share one problem you’re having at university right now and ask you partner for advice to solve it.

31. Tell your partner where you see your relationship going.

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The case for being single

By Kendra Carey I am single, but quite not ready to mingle.

I’ll be the first to admit it’s been tough watching almost all my friends settle down with a significant other this year.

At first, I found it hard to accept that they had succeeded in an area where I feel I am failing miserably. I started to think, “what’s wrong with me?”

But what I didn’t realize is that it’s okay to have standards and practice patience, especially when you’re looking for someone to share such intimate moments of your life with.

After realizing this and focusing less on searching for “my person,” I’ve been able to prioritize myself and my needs.

It’s empowering not having to depend on someone else for anything — I make my own doctor’s appointments and everything.

I’ve had my fair share of unhealthy relationships, so I’ll admit that I could be coming into this with some bias. But still, I find it easier to maintain a stable mood when I’m single — which is essential when I have a busy university schedule.

I’ve had absolutely devastating fights in previous relationships that prevented me from accomplishing anything. It’s really just not worth it.

My only relationship in university was in my first year. It lasted a whole two months until he dumped me on my birthday (sad) right before my first exam season (tragic). Maybe it’s the bad memories talking, but I’m glad I’m not risking someone ruining five exams for me again.

I have more fun going out when I’m single, too. And it’s not because I can hook up with whoever I want. That’s obvious.

There is more opportunity for adventure when you’re single. I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why I took an Uber to Waterloo at 11 p.m. one night — and no one will ever get one. I go wherever I want with whoever I want, and I’m not worrying about making someone upset or jealous.

I also sleep better when I’m single, which is never a bad thing — espe-

cially as someone who has a lot of 9:30 a.m. classes. I love not having to worry about hitting someone in the face when changing sleeping positions. I don’t have to put up with snoring or weird sleep talking either.

It’s just peaceful.

All that said, to the guy I sat next to in History of Entrepreneurship last year — I take it all back. I’m single and maybe ready to mingle too.

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The case for being taken

By Katrina McCallum When it comes to fish in the sea, there is only one for me.

Cheesy-ness aside, being in a relationship has really made university better for me.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now, meaning I’ve spent most of my undergrad in a relationship.

Though I still enjoy hearing about my single friends’ dating mishaps and victories, I wouldn’t have wanted to go through these past years alone.

Maybe I don’t spend much time by myself, but being in a relationship has made me appreciate my alone time.

When I have a night where I’m not with my boyfriend, with friends or doing work, I will plan something I really want to do and turn it into a whole selfcare evening — like binge-watching the new cheerleading drama.

Being in a relationship also forces me to do fun things more often.

With relationships, you get to plan date nights where you go to the mall and get the free Lindt chocolate then try on clothes together that are totally not your style just for the laughs. My favourite is doing escape rooms, which have turned into a bit of an addiction for me and boyfriend at this point.

Another plus is the support. I can’t explain it, but there is something about talking to the person you love, or even just getting a hug from them, that is the most comforting thing in the world. I can be having the worst, most stressful day, but spending just five minutes with my boyfriend can make it alright.

And even when it comes to going out, I have more fun when I’m in a re18

lationship. Back when I was single my nights would be spent looking for my friends and then finding them making out with another Chad in the corner of The Ceeps.

But when I’m taken, these nights with my friends feel special. I think to myself, “Okay, this is a girls night.” And then we dance until the lights come up.

Perfect. Night.

I also have an irrational fear of ending up dead in a ditch somewhere — perhaps I’ve seen one too many serial killer specials, but I’m still concerned.

And I know that my boyfriend will

know I went missing, and if there’s one thing those specials taught me, the first 48 hours is pretty important.

Finally — does need it be said? — Hookup culture is the actual worst.

Hearing that a guy slept with my friend because he thought it was “Ivey networking” is truly vomit inducing.

Listening to everything my friends have to put up with, while entertaining, really reminds me how lucky I am to have found someone who I love so deeply, and who loves me back.

Because, when it comes down to it, I am dating my best friend.

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Grease Your Piece with these top-rated lubes

By Kendra Carey

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et’s be real, slip and slides are a lot fun. The kind of fun that doesn’t have to stop after the summer — if you’re picking up what I’m laying down.

For some, lube is an essential. Yet it’s a tool that a lot of us neglect.

So, let’s find out how you can spice up that collection of fun stuff in your nightstand drawer and take your sex life from a six to a 10 (if you’re interested in that).

Before we get into specifics, you should note that lube is not a “one-size-fits-all” type of accessory. So, use your discretion depending on what kind of sex you’re having.

KY Jelly Ultragel

I’ll be honest, it was hard to find a negative review about this one. In fact, the only negative review was from a commenter who had been using the lube after keeping it in the cupboard for two years — so maybe don’t do that.

Other reviews described the product as a “must-have” and praised it for its “natural feel.”

Overall, probably a safe choice.

Durex Play 2-in-1 Massage Gel with Aloe Vera

Despite hearing a lot of good things about this one, the reviews were split.

Some say it works “reasonably well,” while others say it’s “sticky” and “hard to remove.”

Although it’s not advertised as a flavoured lube, many reviews cautioned against tasting it, saying it was “definitely not a good flavour.”

Even though “massage gel” is part of the name, many reviews say you do not want to be using this for massages.

Otherwise, the container is quite aesthetically pleasing, and it’s purple.

What better way to show your school spirit? Might be worth a try.

Wet Naturals Sensual Strawberry Flavoured Lube

After doing some research, I learned that flavoured lube can be a bit of a gamble, especially if you have sensitive skin.

However, this one had an overwhelming amount of positive reviews.

I’m not sure how close the taste is to actual strawberries, although, one review did say it “tastes delicious.”

It’s a water based lube, making it easy to wash off. Many reviews from women claiming to have sensitive skin indicated that there were no issues with this lube in particular. So, I hope the same can be said for you.

Passion Lubes, Natural Water Based Lubricant, 55 Gallons

This one is for those of you looking to really go for it, and I have no idea why you ever need this much lube, but here we are.

You can actually order 55 gallons of lube on Amazon. And based on the ad, it looks like they transport it in a keg.

According to some of the reviews, it’s advised that you lay down a shower curtain on the bed before getting down to business.

One thing I would be cautious about is the disclaimer at the bottom of the ad, informing buyers that “on occasion, the manufacturer may alter their ingredients list.”

There you have it. The Russian roulette of lubes.

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TO KEGEL, OR NOT TO KEGEL? Don’t over-train your pelvic floor

By Hannah Diebold

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ou know people who squat. You know people who curl. And maybe, you know people who kegel.

Kegels are an infamous part of “sexercise”, workouts for your in-bed performance. But, according to pelvic health physiotherapist Olivia Vokes, too many pelvic-strengthening reps like kegels might be hurting your sex life more than helping it.

“The biggest misconception is that kegels are the best thing and everyone has to do them,” said Vokes. “More often, I see patients with hypertonic pelvic floor muscles because they have done kegels, kegels, kegels — and they didn’t necessarily need to do them.”

Pelvic floor muscles play a surprisingly important role in your day-today life. Having a healthy pelvic floor is essential for your mobility, good bathroom habits and pain-free intercourse.

So, many people think that developing ultra-strong pelvic floor muscles is the best way to achieve overall pelvic health. In particular, people try to tighten up for sex.

But, having a too-tight pelvic floor can actually be problematic — giving you a hypertonic pelvic floor. This can cause general discomfort, issues with continence and bowel movements and even painful intercourse.

“In order to have pain-free sexual intercourse, we need to make sure we don’t have too much tension in our

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pelvic floor,” said Vokes.

But kegels aren’t the only culprit.

Stress can have an equally detrimental effect on the development of hypertonic pelvic muscles and in turn, you can experience painful intercourse.

General stress can present itself in unassuming ways, and one way is an over-tightening of pelvic floor muscles.

“People sometimes don’t realize that they are under stress, or they don’t realize the stress they are under,” said Vokes. “Athletes quite often are trying to manage school and all these different things in their lives, that is usually where we start to notice hypertonic issues.”

All in all, developing a healthy pelvic floor is about striking a balance of moderation.

“We are trying to break the myth that we need a strong pelvic floor 24/7,” said Vokes. “[Pelvic floor muscles] need to be strong … but they also need to be able to relax.”

It is sometimes hard to know whether you are experiencing pelvic issues because of overly strong or weak muscles. Either way, it is worth a trip to a specialist.

“I would recommend to anyone who is curious about changing different things pertaining to pelvic health, see a pelvic health physiotherapist because they can do all of that,” said Vokes.

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powder, you can mix baby powder with an eyeshadow that matches your skin tone for the same effect. Thanks to the addition of talc, the shadow won’t melt off of your face. Many drugstore powders are also affordable options, and come in a range of shades.

And next time you’re browsing around Sephora, be sure to ask to take home a sample of some of the top brands, like Laura Mercier or Kat Von D.

BY BELLA PICK

Makeup that lasts longer than he will

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ou’ve just done the deed and you’ve made your way to the bathroom. You see a horrific image of congealed, melted makeup that looks kind of like the soup you picked up just before the cafeteria closed.

As you see the clown-in-the-rain look on your face, you’re probably wondering — how exactly does a porn star’s makeup stay on, even through rounds of hot, sweaty sex?

It’s actually easier than it looks.

There’s no denying that sex is messy, despite what the movies might lead you to think. These five easy tips will leave you looking fabulous during your walk of shame.

LEAVE THE POWDERED EYESHADOW AT HOME Powdered eyeshadow is one of the most fragile items in your makeup routine and can melt off with even the smallest amount of water. Instead, opt for a liquid eye shadow, which you can pick up from companies like Stila or Colourpop.

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PLANNING FOR ORAL?

Don’t leave anything on your mouth

If you don’t want to shell out for a new product, use a matte lipstick in its place, and blend with a dense eye brush. Be sure to use a strong eye shadow primer (like the Too Faced Eyeshadow Insurance) to keep your look intact.

PRIME YOUR EYELASHES

Mascara tends to bleed, and waterproof mascara rarely adheres to its advertisement. Many companies, like Tarte, Clinique and e.l.f. (sold in the University Community Centre Pharmacy), offer an eyelash primer.

When applied before mascara, this product effectively ensures that your mascara won’t run, and you won’t look like the raccoon that always seems to troll around the North end of campus in an endless search for the best piece of trash.

POWDER YOUR NOSE (and the rest of your face)

Powder might seem like an outdated product, but if you’re opting to wear face makeup while having sex, it plays a very important role.

A powder will keep your face makeup in place, and prevent product from ending up on your pillow or on your partner.

If you don’t want to break the bank on

It may seem obvious, but if you’re going down on someone, don’t wear lipstick or lip tint. As sexy as red lips look, you will look like a vampire once you’ve done the deed, and leave their nether regions looking almost as nasty as a vampire bite (not to mention the fact that the residue and bacteria could leave them with a spooky UTI).

There isn’t any tip that prevents lipstick or tint from smearing with intense contact unless you plan on taking a Kardashians-eating-salad approach to giving head, so leave it at home.

SPRAY TO SET Urban Decay’s All Nighter Setting Spray has reviews wrought with women talking about falling in hot tubs at parties, having complete mental breakdowns, getting into car crashes or leaving one night stands with a perfect face. These women are living proof of how much of a difference setting spray can make in your routine.

To keep your makeup as solid as the ice on London’s sidewalks, a setting spray is ideal. As a cheaper alternative, you can put moisturizer underneath your face makeup.

With these quick and easy tips, you’ll be ready to brave whatever sexual challenges await you — with a perfectly primped face.

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KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR GAYDAR You might not find what you’re looking for

By Ashley Goveas

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ou’re standing in the Starbucks line when suddenly, you’re struck — they’re gay. The person in front of you. You know it.

Can you be sure? Or is it just wishful thinking?

As you’ve probably heard, gaydar is your ability to tell if someone else is queer. It’s a joke to many, but plenty of queer people are certain they have it, and debate over whose sensitivity is subtler.

According to Susan Knabe, an associate professor in women’s studies and feminist research, the term “gaydar”

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sprung from the way historically persecuted sexual minorities made themselves visible to other members of that community. This was done through subtle cues like eye contact and language used, and these are indicators we continue to look for today.

But Knabe also points out that what gaydar has come to mean can be concerning.

Though there’s scant evidence, some argue that gaydar can actually be explained by science. More specifically, gaydar is you catching a whiff of some-

one else’s pheromones.

One study performed in 2005 found that people are more attracted to the scents of others who match their sexual orientation.

Researchers sampled the underarm sweat of 24 people who identified with various genders and sexual orientations, and those samples were used to determine which pheromones people are attracted to.

It found that, overall, gay men were more attracted to the sweat samples of gay men, and gay women preferred the scent of other gay women.

Some use these findings to suggest there is a biological component to your sexuality — a “gay gene.”

Knabe disagrees. She thinks these studies don’t prove biology, but sociology.

“There is a reason most studies of gaydar accuracy find that heterosexual social conservatives are not very accurate,” said Knabe. “Why would they be — since this is not a set of codes that they need to learn to safely navigate the world around them, or to find pockets of comfort or relief within cultures or societies that have historically been inimical to their survival.”

This “ability” has progressed from being an in-joke for the LGBTQ2+ community to a tool used by sexual minorities to navigate historically hostile environments — it then has no place in the wider community.

“There is a long and dishonourable tradition in Canada and elsewhere of various ways to definitively ‘tell’ who was queer — and believe me, it was never to the benefit of the folks it sought to expose,” she said.

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“Every polyamorous relationship looks different, and they’re best understood as shapes.”

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n Rayne’s first date with her boyfriend, she knew he’d just passed the 10-year mark with his other spouses.

At this point, the only sense of polyamory she had were images of religious cults or free-loving Californian hippies.

And she was scared that she would be too jealous, seeing her partner dote on someone else.

“At first in polyamory, it really feels like you have to give so much. And once you settle down and get comfortable, you realize no, you get so much more.”

The second-year studio arts major said her fears were common to people first opening themselves to more than one partner.

“One of my fears going into it … was that I’m not going to be the person.

That’s something that’s pushed in our culture all the time, ‘the one,’” she says.

“The idea that there could be more than one person being ‘the one’ is really scary, because then you think ‘I’m not as valuable,’ when that’s not true.”

Polyamory is when someone is openly in a relationship with more than one person at once. While monogamous couples find fulfillment in one person, polyamory can bring together any number of people.

While seeing a partner be romantic with another person can spur jealousy for monogamous people, polyamory is rooted in the idea of “compersion” — experiencing joy because somebody else is feeling joy.

“A good example [of compersion] is if your partner is having an intimate moment or a date night or whatever with another partner,” Rayne explains.

“I’m really happy because my partner is having a good time and they’re enjoying that, so that makes me feel good.”

Her boyfriend — who has asked to be identified as Adam — was already 10 years into a relationship with his partner Bobby when Rayne was introduced to the couple. (Bobby’s name has been changed for privacy.)

Bobby and Adam had been looking for a third person to help them spice things up in the bedroom, but Adam and Rayne realized their connection was something deeper.

The pair stayed in touch even after Rayne turned down romantic advances a number of times. They spoke constantly — Adam would phone her on his breaks at work and she would go to him for advice. Finally, almost a year ago now, Rayne decided to take the leap of faith.

“I just felt so strongly for him and I had so many fears, but I knew that my emotions for him were stronger than the fears that I had,” she explains.

“The idea that there could be more than one person being ‘the one’ is really scary, because then you think ‘I’m not as valuable,’ when that’s not true.”

Every polyamorous relationship looks different, and, as Adam explains, they’re best understood as shapes.

Many polyamorous relationships look like a triangle, where three partners each have a relationship with each other. But Rayne’s relationship looks more like a hinge: while Adam is romantically involved with both Rayne and Bobby, Rayne and Bobby’s relationship is more familial — making Adam like a romantic fulcrum between the other two, or the centre point of a hinge.

Rayne explains there is still a lot of love between her and Bobby. They’re “metas” to each other: both romantically connected to the same person, but not connected on their own.

The throuple, a three-person couple, lives together with one large bed between them. But each plays a distinct role in the relationship. Adam supports his spouses with his job at a bank call centre, while Rayne spends a lot of time on her studies and Bobby acts as a homemaker. They use the term “spouses” for each other, even though the trio cannot legally get married.

They’re all adjusting to their lives together, setting boundaries with each other as they explore being poly for the first time. They agree that uninhibited levels of communication allow them to be honest about their comfort or spikes of jealousy.

“At first in polyamory, it really feels like you have to give so much. And once you settle down and get comfortable, you realize no, you get so much more,” Adam says. “Everybody already has a capacity for how much they’re able to put out there and [there’s] so much more when you have three people doing that.”

Adam never expected to be poly, but he was already intimately acquainted with the subject through his dad’s polyamorous relationship later in life.

His father’s spouse was experiencing medical issues and the couple was having trouble with tasks like keeping the house clean and enjoying each other’s company. A childhood friend of his wife joined their relationship, and Adam says they’ve been incredibly happy ever since.

“When you have responsibility and burden and challenge and it’s split between two people, it can be really easy to be like ‘you’re not caring,’” he says.

“But when you split it up with three people, or four — or whatever your situation is because polyamory is a very flexible idea — it’s like a relationship that’s a community.”

Bobby even has a fourth member in mind for the hinge. Adam says they’ll probably need a bigger bed.

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HOW SEX ED FAILS QUEER WOMEN

By Bella Pick

And if you’re a lesbian looking for an- heterosexual parents who are just as clueless When I left for university, my parents knew that I was a lesbian. But they still hand- swers online, chances are you’ll be bom- on the subject as us?

It wasn’t until this year that I saw my first ed me a box of condoms as a well-meaning barded with porn.

I have friends whose first experiences piece of accurate sex education for queer attempt to encourage safe sex.

When I asked what I was supposed to do with sex are horror stories, as they knew women in a booklet that I picked up from with them, they told me that they were “just nothing about how to actually have sex. Spectrum: Women Loving.

It was one of the best resources I’ve ever in case.” When I asked again, they didn’t And they weren’t helped by watching video after video of straight women scissoring seen: it had information about safe sex, know. Neither did I. Growing up, the sex education I was giv- or fingering each other with comically long pregnancy, pleasure and the actual mechanen was highly heteronormative. It began fingernails, which don’t even come close to ics of sex for lesbians, bi women, cis women having sex with trans women and vice versa. in third grade when we talked about dad- what lesbian sex is actually like.

It answered questions that I dy’s sperm meeting mommy’s didn’t even know that I had — egg. There was no mention of “There was no mention of adoption, in for the first time, I really felt like adoption, in vitro fertilization I was seen in a context outside or even the existence of queer vitro fertilization or even the existence of the male gaze. couples, let alone trans people. of queer couples, let alone trans people.”

I learned a lot about what I Although it is difficult for any needed to do to be safe and enqueer person to find sex educaI know there’s medical reasoning behind joy myself in the process. If I’d gotten the tion, there is a noticeable difference in the amount of information available to queer the lack of sex education for lesbian cou- advice in that booklet earlier, instead of digmen versus queer women and non-binary ples. People with vaginas who exclusively ging in the strangest corners of the internet have sex with other people with vaginas for non-porn advice, I would’ve been more individuals.

Following the HIV-AIDS crisis in the were thought to be unable to get HIV. But comfortable in the world of dating and sex.

More importantly, I definitely wouldn’t 1980s, LGBTQ2+ groups worked hard to this has since been proven untrue, meaning ensure that safe-sex education exists for cis- that an entire group of people are still sus- have had the dangerous belief that it was gender gay men, and that free condoms are ceptible to a disease that they have no idea impossible for me to get an STI. Because it turns out, those condoms that how to protect themselves from. widely available.

But even if we weren’t susceptible, les- my parents gave me actually could have Most of my friends were able to avoid asking awkward questions by consulting bians and bisexual women have a right to been useful — if I’d cut them in half and resources made widely available to them. be educated on our their own bodies. How used them as dental dams. That advice I, however, wasn’t even able to find a pam- are we supposed to know what to do in the would have been useful three years ago, bebedroom when we are largely raised by cis, fore they ended up in my trash can. phlet at my doctor’s office.

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How the LTC app ruined my love life

By Gabby Glasier Tinder sucks. Even those who have managed to latch onto someone through the app will concede the road is long, windy and filled with potholes.

It puts you through a vicious, unending cycle: we download, delete and inevitably re-download the app.

For those who have difficulty meeting love interests in lecture or on Richmond Row, it can feel like the app is the only way we’ll ever find true love.

This is why a different app, made by the the London Transit Commission, ruined my love life. Temporarily, anyways.

Apple iPhones have many perks, but immense storage is not one of them — my mere 16GB can attest to that.

Inevitably, my phone reached capacity, and despite my best efforts to upload all my pictures to Google photos, storage was tight.

In November I faced my ultimatum: LTC bus or Tinder.

You see, I totally could have managed with no bus app — for my entire first year at Western, I didn’t have data.

This sounds archaic, but it’s manageable. Essentially, it meant that when I didn’t have Wi-Fi, it came to one of two decisions: checking bus times using a nearby Tim Hortons router, or calling up a friend.

The latter usually prevailed.

My roommates didn’t adore getting woken up to my decently frantic voice asking which bus took me home from downtown.

But having no data had prepared me for deleting the LTC bus app.

Alas, to have chosen Tinder would have said something about my character, and that just wasn’t worth it. So, 34

with my apps quivering in fear, I deleted Tinder’s fiery icon and all my romantic aspirations with it.

It was for the better though. Tinder sucks.

Or at least that was my mentality until my roommate’s boyfriend said he had an old phone that he was willing to part with. And get this — it had 64GB.

I now have enough storage for LTC bus and Tinder and Uber Eats. So as much as Tinder sucks, how could I break it to my friends that they can’t swipe on my feed at parties anymore?

I really just re-downloaded it for them.

Or, maybe I just felt guilty about bugging them about bus routes.

THE THREE WORST DATING APPS

By Elan Pedersen

Tired of swiping? Want some entertainment to spice up your life?

Online dating: the redundant and laborious task of swiping through profiles can be a mind-numbing chore.

Many of us have been there.

Here are some of the absolute worst dating apps and sites to try (or not).

Love a Prisoner

Ever wanted to date a rebel? Interested in stepping out of your comfort zone? This dating site brings that to the next level.

This is the top dating site to find your perfect match with someone who is currently incarcerated. Can’t get much more dangerous than that.

In terms of features, this site allows you to search by profiles and different types of prisons. This search function is perfect if you have a specific prison in mind, for some reason.

Just beware of their disclaimer before sending anything out: “We strongly recommend that you take appropriate safeguards communicating with the people you meet through our service.”

Nice.

Beautiful People

As the old adage goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. On the contrary, Greg Hodge, the founder of Beautiful People, would disagree. This app was designed to make sure only “beautiful” people interact.

To become a member, you must create a profile with a picture, and then members of the website’s community vote on whether or not you’re attractive enough to join.

This site is notorious for rejecting many, and giving people tips about how they can improve their looks. Currently, this site has rejected 7.5 million applications, and has purged 3,000 app users for “quality control.”

Further, you can choose what kind of relationship you are looking for: business networking is included, allowing you to ensure that all your employees and employers are seductive. Real professional.

As a final and important note, the website design looks like your computer may get a virus.

Plenty of Fish dating

If you’re looking for an average dating app, this is about as average as they get.

Welcome to the Superstore of all dating apps. This name lives up to what its promise: a wide selection of mediocre quality — everything about this site is average.

Flooded with sketchy options and improperly matched profiles, this site has been hit-or-miss for many. It is barely memorable, having no unique functions, unless you count the cute, childish user interface.

Want a conversation? POF is great for that. But for matching quality, this is not the app. Priding itself on being the app with the most conversations, they claim this title by having no standards.

Cute but unsophisticated, POF doesn’t exactly scream “I want to date.”

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No, Western doesn’t spy on your spank bank ‘Academic freedom’ keeps PornHub unblocked

By Ash Suri

H

ave you ever wondered whether some sinister, hooded entity is tracking your every digital footprint?

Maybe you’ve considered, with one hand on the mouse and another in your lap, that you shouldn’t be doing this on Western Wi-Fi? You’re not alone. Information trading is a booming industry among data analysis and collection companies.

On shared networks, like uwosecure-v2 and RezNet, everything feels a bit more exposed. And while Western’s Wi-Fi requires a secure login, all that throbbing traffic is pumping through Western wires — incognito mode or not.

So, is there a possibility — however faint — that a lonely IT guy on the night shift might peek at what students are clicking on?

Mercifully, no.

In a statement from Colin Couchman, director of cybersecurity and 36

business services at Western Technology Services, the university maintains that, “[WTS] does not actively monitor users’ internet traffic.”

Western does check for piracy though: “We receive automated copyright infringement messages that are also sent to those who infract,” said Couchman.

So, unless your erotic internet escapades involve acquiring top-shelf obscenity through less than legal methods, you can rest assured knowing your browsing is only being tracked by shady companies, not your university.

This may seem too good to be true, but Western says they don’t block any traffic in order to maintain academic freedom, of all reasons.

“Western University is a research-intensive institution requiring technologies that support open inquiry and academic freedom. As such, Western does not restrict the user experience in terms of blocking websites, including stream-

ing services,” reads the statement.

They add that there are rules on computer use at Western: section seven of policy 1.13 of the policy manual allows Western to track users’ activity, including login sessions and communications.

Ultimately, just because Western doesn’t actively record your data, it doesn’t mean they can’t if they wanted to.

If this thought keeps bubbling up the next time you skinny dip the search bar, the tried-and-true way to cloak what you’re viewing is a virtual private network, or VPN. While some are free, privacy — like most things — has a cost. Stay away from free VPNs, as the only way they can pay their costs is by selling the data you’re protecting within their digital walls.

They’re a good way to secure the vault in your spank bank, if there’s anything you’d rather keep down there.

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T

he signs are unmistakable: boba addiction, ABG aspirations and constant cravings for Pho. These are “subtle Asian traits” — the simple beginnings of an online dating craze at Western University and around the world.

A Facebook group with the name Subtle Asian Traits sports over 1.5 million members. It serves as a common platform for second-generation Asian youth around the world to speak to things that make them “subtly” Asian in a western-dominated world.

And from there, we got to dating. Users of an offshoot Facebook group, Subtle Asian Dating, auction off a date with one of their friends to 563,000 potential suitors. “[SAD] was created to highlight how diverse the Asian dating scene is,” said page administrator Cheok Meng Law in an interview. “It was created to be geared towards dating rather than general traits … there’s so many people participating in this group and sharing what it’s like to be Asian in this world and dating at the same time.”

The page is home to dating memes, accompanied by rowdier users, soul-searchers and romantics who have been auctioned off by their friends.

A typical auction post calls out to SAD members with catchy intros like: “오빠 들, 小哥哥s, and gentlemen of SAD. Isn’t it cold? Aren’t you lonely? Hungry?

Don’t you wish you could savour a warm,

delicious, scrumptious snack — I am back with another fresh hot bun, straight out of the burning oven.”

Food metaphors like that are common: “Ladies of SAD, are you a bún bò ba looking for her mánh mì? Have you already exhausted the list of Nam Nguyen’s near you to no avail?”

While non-Asians can look at these appeals as a foreign language, and may even be “weirded out,” according to page moderator Anthony Maglaqui, to the average second-generation bubble tea baby it’s seen as normal or even “highly relatable.”

Starting with an introduction, the posts typically delve into a general description, a pros and cons list, a call for action and a series of photos to describe the potential romantic partner. And while some posts are simply made as a joke, others are genuinely looking for true love.

“It’s Tinder but on crack. Selective Tinder. Half of it are memes but also half-serious … I auctioned a friend off with a bunch of playful romantic storytelling and now she’s been dating someone she met for a year,” said firstyear BMOS student Sammi Yeung.

And while she mentioned there are those who feel like the page is stereotyping Asian culture just a tad too much, many of its followers feel a sense of in-group membership as they relate to people across the entire world. The second-generation experience is un-

doubtedly universal; everyone fits into the Western world — until they’re reminded that sometimes they don’t.

For many, joining the page was a eureka moment, as they realized talking about short Asian kings and letting their hearts pour through SAD confessions filled a niche void they didn’t realize they had.

“Seeing my own culture online, the presence — feeling surrounded by it, was nice. It’s not a bubble to put yourself in, but it’s good to have around,” explained Yeung.

And it’s not the only ethnocentric group available. Subtle Curry Dating appeals to a South Asian crowd; walking away from BTS and towards Shahrukh Khan, members on this page are looking to make their lives just a little bit spicier.

“It’s cool to see people of your culture from all over the world, seeing similarities all centred in one Facebook page,” said Mia Habib, fourth-year neuroscience student.

Subtle Asian Dating and similar pages are growing to be one of the hottest spots for Asians to connect with Asians: Tinder for the culturally sensitive. It’s a place where people can poke fun at their own culture, relate to culture-bound restrictions and celebrate their diversity.

Where people can lower their shields and be unapologetically, not so subtly, 100 per cent Asian.

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