February 14, 2023 - Sex Issue

VOL. 117

THE WESTERN GAZETTE

SEX ISSUE Editor-in-Chief

Sports

Editorial Support

Estella Ren

Manan Joshi Varun Reddy

Dan Brown

Madeleine McColl

Social Media

Deputy Editor

Pe’er Krut Chiara Wallace

Emmanuel Akanbi Sanjana Adiga Grace Dong Freydig Cohoon Gallego Nicole Garcia Vera Lluka Jason W. Mugford Paula Ocampo Masumi Vyas Chiara Wallace Alyssa Wang Chris Waring Sammi Yeung

Managing Editor Miles Bolton

Coordinating Editors

Graphics

Ryan Goodison Catrina Tang Adshayah Sathiaseelan

Jessica Counti Arisia Qarri

Photo

Art Director

Sophie Bouquillon Kai Wilson

Katherine Guo

Features Editor Sonia Persaud

Opinions Editor Hannah Alper

News Jessica Kim Veronica MacLean Sophia Schiefler Om Shanbhag

Culture Ela Kang Danielle Paul Paniz Vedavarz Tara Yang

Video Shylaja Kumarasingham Arieh Leving Leah Marshall

Digital Alex D’Entremont-Smith Scott Yun Ho

Models

Contributors Angwara Nilanont Mabel Zhao

4

You’re still hot. They just have whiskey dick.

Ela Kang In Canada’s number one party city, you’re bound to encounter some awkward hookups. But what some don’t realize is that it can be embarrassing for both parties involved — not just the party who can’t get it up.

“Whiskey dick” — the colloquial term for alcohol-induced erectile dysfunction — can happen to people with penises when they drink alcohol, especially if they’re binge drinking.

As a central nervous system depressant, alcohol slows down the brain and other organs — including the penis.

Kayla Miike, a third-year biology and biochemistry student,

has encountered whiskey dick a few times. While she finds the person experiencing whiskey dick is always embarrassed, Miike expresses empathy.

“If it happens, it happens,” Miike says. “It doesn’t matter to me, because it’s out of their control.”

What some people with penises don’t realize in the moment is they are not the only ones mortified by their whiskey dick. The other person is likely embarrassed too, especially women in cisgendered and heterosexual sexual encounters.

Treena Orchard, a health studies professor and sexual

wellness expert at Western University, says internalized patriarchal narratives can be to blame for the mutual shame felt in a heterosexual sexual interaction where a man has erectile dysfunction.

“Especially women,” Orchard says. ”We’ve already internalized all of these things that make us feel the source of blame for almost everything that happens under the patriarchal sky.”

Even though Miike knows whiskey dick isn’t her fault, she still feels insecure when it happens and questions if it is her fault.

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“They’re saying they have whiskey dick, but it could be that I’m not performing well enough and they can’t finish,” says Miike.

Alcohol-induced erectile dysfunction can be influenced by different factors: how many drinks a person has, their blood alcohol level, medications they’re taking, how long they’ve been drinking, alcohol tolerance and water or food intake.

Everybody’s reaction to alcohol is different: someone might not be able to get it up after five dollar beers, while others are good to go after 10.

Orchard says the pressure to perform sexually with a new partner also contributes to the awkwardness of the situation.

If you’re a sexual partner to someone struggling with whiskey dick, Orchard says it’s important to depersonalize the situation.

“I think it’s important to talk about it because it does happen a lot,” says Orchard. “Ideally, when this happens, you take a break and either talk about it then or you can say, ‘This is kind of feeling too much right now. How about we just talk about it tomorrow?’”

People with penises are not alone in experiencing alcohol-induced sexual dysfunction. People with vaginas experience something similar — just without the catchy name — as alcohol interferes with blood flow to the sexual organs, making it harder to selflubricate and orgasm.

Miike says it doesn’t always need to end with embarrassment. After an encounter with whiskey dick, the night can be saved with something as simple as a conversation, a movie or a trip down under.

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Science behind:

Heartbreak Angwara Nilanont

Some people have likened heartbreak to getting punched in the gut — as if there’s a deep, gnawing hole in your chest, making it hard to breathe.

Heartbreak is a feeling that Thalia Ma, a second-year visual arts student, is all too familiar with.

After Ma moved away to study at Western University after high school, she and her former partner agreed not to pursue a long-distance relationship during university. The decision was mutual, but still devastating to Ma. “I woke up, and I just felt empty … I think it’s just loneliness. Just feeling like something was great and then it’s just not there all of a sudden,” says Ma. While heartbreak is often dismissed as a temporary feeling, new psychology and neuroscience research is beginning to suggest that the pain might be physical.

A 2011 study that looked at the link between social rejection and physical pain showed participants, who had recently experienced a painful breakup, photos of their ex. When participants’ brain activity was observed, one thing was clear — the areas of their brains that process physical pain were activated.

Western psychology professor James Kim says the human body is wired to respond deeply to social rejection, which plays a valuable role in what makes

us human. In evolutionary history, people who were ostracized or excluded from their tribes had a lower chance of survival.

In essence, we’ve evolved to belong. Our bodies have become hyper-aware of potential social threats because the brain’s neural networks for physical and emotional pain share the same pathways, according to Kim. “Essentially the same parts of the brain when we feel physical pain — when we’re literally kicked or punched or burnt — are lighting up just after these people have been experiencing rejection,” Kim explains. “It’s not just a metaphor when you say that rejection hurts.”

But when we’re knee deep in the woes and throes of a breakup with a romantic partner, this rejection can feel infinitely more intense, often lasting from months to years. Apart from missing the intimacy of romantic relationships, why are we so wound up about a love gone wrong?

Love is like a drug. Our brains are addicted to it, like an addiction to nicotine or cocaine.

In a 2010 study, researchers studied 17 people deeply in love and 15 people devastated by rejection to explore the inner workings of their brains.

When someone in a happy relationship saw a picture of their partner, the brain area linked to reward and motivation lit up, triggering a dopamine surge like the “high” someone might get from cocaine.

As for those who had fallen out of love, an interesting pattern emerged. Despite feeling devastated and

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grief-stricken about their breakup, rejected lovers also experienced heightened activity in their brain’s reward system, one that promotes a prolonged state of motivation and fixation.

Unsurprisingly, these participants admitted they spent over 85 per cent of their time thinking about their ex and frequently contacted them to express emotions like anger, despair or intense love.

As far as their brains knew, they were still madly in love.

Heartbreak may hurt, but Kim says rejection is part of a learning process.

“If you engage in self-affirmation exercises — thinking about the things that are important to you or the things that you value — and affirming your sense of identity, that can buffer against experiences of rejection,” he says.

For Ma, this meant focusing on her hobbies: projecting her experiences into visual art, going to the gym with friends and avoiding coffee to reduce her postbreakup anxiety.

“I do this thing with my friend, which is really silly, but every time I think about someone, I need to do 10 push-ups,” Ma says.

When asked about the lessons she learned from her relationship, Ma explains how understanding and naming your emotions can go a long way.

“Now, when I feel some type of way, I just ask myself, ‘What exactly am I feeling right now? What exactly am I missing about this person?’” she says. “And I feel like that’s just a more logical way of coping and moving on.”

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10

Dating to marry is a long-term investment Adshayah Sathiaseelan When you make a financial investment, you focus on the long-term return — the same philosophy should be applied to relationships.

I date to marry, and that means I won’t waste my time with someone I don’t see a future with. It doesn’t mean I am 100 per cent going to walk down the aisle with the first person I date, but that I want to get to know a potential partner on a deeper level and align on certain topics like finances and life goals.

It weeds out the partners who are not serious about commitment and try to string you along — while preventing the messy leftover feelings often involved when you have to end things.

You go into a relationship with the idea of finding the right person, and while there’s pressure that comes with that concept, it also provides a sense of stability.

I’ve never wanted something casual because I don’t see the appeal. It feels like a waste of time and energy, especially the exhausting nature of constantly getting to know new people.

Why date someone you know you don’t have a future with or can’t grow with? In any relationship — romantic or not — you look for compatibility and proof that you can experience the highs and lows together. While friendships come and go, your best friends are the people who have stuck around through your toughest moments — and intimate relationships should be held to similar standards.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t test the waters. I agree, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but casting the line with the intention of taking home the best catch is practical.

Dating to marry means dating to be happy. It’s not about settling for the first person you get into a relationship with. If you sense toxic qualities in a partner or lose feelings, you need to break it off, not get married or go steady.

I recognize that marriage is a traditional institution, and no rulebook says you have to get married legally.

But for me, dating to marry is dating for long-term commitment. I would

like to get married one day, so I’ve always approached dating with this in mind.

I’m not strongly religious, and while dating to marry aligns with family values, it’s not the reason I choose to. I value the consistency, security and companionship that comes from working towards a future together.

I’m lucky to have met my boyfriend of almost three years with this philosophy and maybe we will get married one day, but I wake up every day consistently choosing him. I see potential in him, so we grow, we try and we see where life takes us — that’s what dating to marry should be about.

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When you sign a job contract, you are making a commitment to do your best, grow and learn more about yourself and the job. But you don’t sign up to do it for the rest of your life — the same goes for relationships.

Wedding bells and rings weren’t exactly at the front of my mind when I was swiping right on Bumble or talking to someone at a bar. Date to experience and learn about yourself, not to put a ring on it.

If friendships come and go, why shouldn’t relationships?

My mom told me this great quote, passed down from my greatgrandmother: friendships are in your life for reasons, seasons or lifetimes. You don’t walk into friendships thinking this is someone that you are going to have for the rest of your life.

So if we’re aware that the friends we have now might not be the same ones we have in 20 years, why should romantic relationships

be different? I could argue that it’s more important to have this mindset with relationships since it’s such a crucial part of your life. Letting go of life-changing plans that won’t happen for years can help you focus on the present — you can go with the flow.

Having the mindset of dating to marry can set unrealistic expectations and unintentionally place pressure on yourself and your partner. If everything works out and you guys get married in a few years, great! But why worry about something that far into the future while we’re so young? Let that feeling and goal naturally set in, rather than having marriage be the goal of every date you go on.

You explore who you want, what you value and your standards through friendships. The same goes for relationships. With every friendship and relationship, you learn what you want and perhaps more importantly, what you don’t want. The hope is that every friendship and relationship will just get better and better because you know yourself and your worth more and more.

I want to make it clear that I’m not anti-marriage or anything. If I meet or end up marrying the guy I date in university, awesome. I’m not against that at all if it’s the right person. All I’m saying is that marriage isn’t on my initial dating checkbox, and I’m okay with it.

My current relationship is new and exciting, and it’s the best and most secure I’ve ever felt in a relationship. He’s consistently my favourite person and we align on a lot of the values that are important to me. Neither of us knows where life will take us, and there’s no reason to think that far into the future with how happy we are right now.

If life calls for it, I’d be happy to fit someone into my future. But right now, at 21 years old, I would rather live in the present and date to experience than date to marry.

Dating to experience is to live in the moment Hannah Alper

12

Everything but commitment:

The rise of situationships Paniz Vedavarz

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Ore Alugo’s last romantic endeavour featured all the signs of a relationship: flowers, dates and long drives. But there were no signs of commitment. Alugo had found herself in a situationship.

“At the time, I didn’t think it was a situationship,” Alugo, a fourth-year biology student recalls. “I was very much under the impression that it was going towards a relationship, but it wasn’t until it ended that I realized we weren’t on the same page.”

A situationship is a “hookup with emotional benefits” lacking any actual commitment, a term first coined by writer Carina Hsieh in 2017.

In recent years, the term has surged in popularity. Tinder reported a 49 per cent increase in members using “situationship” in their bios in 2022.

“A situationship is like a cop-out of a relationship. It’s all the perks without a title,” says Alugo.

Despite the negative connotations situationships carry, an increasing number of gen Z people are embracing these commitment-free relationships.

According to a study highlighted by the BBC, only one in 10 people among gen Z and millennials want to pursue committed romantic relationships.

In the past, social expectations often forced two people into marriage, even when they were incompatible. This has led to the younger generation witnessing the trauma of divorce and domestic conflicts and realizing marriage may not be sustainable, says Monica Sesma, a couple’s therapist and couple and family therapy professor at the University of Calgary.

“Society was very closed, separation was highly stigmatized,” Sesma says. “Find a partner, marry, have children and never divorce. Mostly for religious reasons.”

As the younger generation increasingly challenges social norms and pursues independence instead of marriage — influenced by experiencing the trauma of divorce — the same pressure to commit no longer exists. This shift has made it easier to walk away from relationships.

Sesma suggests situationships reflect a positive change in how people approach dating. She doesn’t think commitment patterns themselves have decreased, but that there has been an increase in transparency and honesty in relationships.

“I think many people now are more aware and putting boundaries, to say to their partner, ‘this is not a relationship, for me,’” says Sesma.

Angel Grande-Rodriguez, a third-year political science student, also believes situationships can be a good thing.

“I feel like there are more boundaries in a situationship than an actual relationship, emotionally,” says GrandeRodriguez. “Because if you get too attached then it’s either one-sided or you guys are both in a relationship, which is fine.”

Grande-Rodriguez thinks situationships can pave the way for authentic committed relationships, admitting he has committed to one of his situationships in the past.

But issues can also arise when one person wants a more committed rela-

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tionship than the other, making open communication an important touchstone for situationships, says Rodriguez.

“I’ve heard stories of people where it’s like, ‘Oh yeah, this person likes me. I don’t know what to do because I don’t like her back, but we’ve been sleeping together for weeks or even months,’” he says. “I feel like that’s completely just a horrible power imbalance there, and I think that’s definitely something to be aware of in situationships.”

It’s this very power imbalance that fuels Alugo’s lack of enthusiasm for the situationship.

“It’s so upsetting, and it’s hard because you set all these standards for yourself, but obviously a lot of girls get emotionally attached, and then it’s easier to compromise after a while,” she says.

Alugo feels that there is unnecessary stress that comes with a situationship if one person develops stronger feelings than the other. People can begin to question why they are not worthy of commitment.

Today, Alugo is no longer interested in situationships and dates with the intention of forming a long-term romantic relationship.

While situationships aren’t for everyone, they’ve undeniably become a defining feature of gen Z dating.

Alugo’s final word of advice: ensure that intentions are always clear.

“Just make sure you’re ready for what it is,” she says. “You have clear expectations of what you’re actually getting yourself into and that you’re okay with what it is.”

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‘Exclusive, not dating’ should not be a thing Jessica Kim If you’re currently on the dating scene — or even if you aren’t — you’ve likely heard of “exclusive, not dating” as a concept.

In modern relationships, we create a rigid distinction between exclusivity and dating, which has led to the rise in “exclusive, not dating” relationships, in addition to things like “situationships.”

I completely respect others’ choices in their relationships, but in my opinion, being “exclusive, not dating” has consequences that far outweigh its benefits.

First, the concept is hard to define — and that is perhaps one its largest issues.

By drawing a distinct line between exclusivity and dating, individuals risk sending mixed signals. Are they making a commitment to each other? Or just entering an agreement not to see other people?

The ambiguity of the term can lead to misunderstanding, unmet expectations and emotional distress for either — or both — parties.

From my observations, the exclusivity-without-dating paradigm can foster a sense of complacency. Without the label of dating, lots of individuals feel less inclined to invest time into getting to know each other or put effort into meeting each

other’s expectations. This lack of commitment leads to superficial connections and can harm the individuals involved. To me, it feels like “exclusive, not dating” is an excuse to get all the benefits and none of the accountability of being in a relationship.

While striving to avoid a formal commitment through the label of “exclusive, not dating,” the concept reinforces a disposable mentality. Especially with the added convenience of finding potential matches through dating apps, people may be tempted to keep one foot out the door, always on the lookout for someone “better.” This undermines the foundation of trust that is crucial for a healthy commitment to another person.

Forgive me for sounding old-fashioned, but “exclusive, not dating” simply should not exist as a concept.

By compartmentalizing exclusivity and dating, this generation risks creating confusion, fostering complacency and perpetuating a disposable mentality. As “exclusive not dating” becomes increasingly normalized, the lines of relationships will continue to get blurrier.

It’s time to reconsider this modern dating trend.

16 6.7% became sexually active when they were <14

65.3% watch porn

48.1% are single 6.4% say “it’s complicated”

33.8% between 15-17 36.6% between 18-20 5.7% between 21-23 <1% at 24+ 15.3% are not yet sexually active

31.5% do not

3.2% prefer not to say 45.5% are taken

1.3% prefer not to say an re th

2.9% are very unsatisfied with their sex lives

22% are unsatisfied

89.2% have not cheated

3.2% prefer not to say

9.6% once a day

1.9% prefer not to say

25.8% are neutral

o te m urba day t s a m nce a 6.1% o

17.8% 4-6 times a week

25.8% are satisfied

21.7% are very satisfied

1.6% prefer not to say 3.2% are unsure

5.4% never

80.9% practice monogamy

26.8% 1-3 times a week

24.5% a few times a month

8.3% do not

6.7% a few times a year

61.5% have used a sex toy

6.1% have

24.2% have not

13.7% have not, but would be interested <1.0% prefer not to say

WORST SEX STORIES: •

“This guy went down on me and kept burping without moving his head away.”

•

“A man pulled out of me and then pulled out his laptop to look at jobs on LinkedIn while I was still naked on his bed.”

•

“He said I kissed like his ex-girlfriend.”

•

“He squeezed my tits and made a honking noise like a goose.”

•

“I was having sex and arrived remarkably fast. So I got up out of bed, still naked and started tending to my animals on Hay Day.”

•

“Guy said he couldn’t do missionary because he had hockey later that night and needed to “save his energy.” ”

•

“As a lesbian, I had sex with a girl who two days later told me she decided she’s straight after all and broke it off.”

r <1% prefey not to sa

ave 76.1% h sexted

19.7% have not

3.8% haven’t

(but would be interested)

SEX ISSUE 2024 2.9% questioning 4.1% identify with 3+ sexualities

2.2% asexual 1.0% demisexual

SEX SURVEY Based on 314 responses

9.6% identify with 2 sexualities

86.3% have not had sex on campus 13.4% have

2.9% pansexual 1.6% queer 1.9% gay

49.4% straight/ heterosexual

4.5% lesbian

<1.0% prefer not to say

20.1% bisexual

Most popular contraceptives

9.9% are unsure

*Respondents may select multiple • • •

1.0% prefer not to say

Condoms (220 responses) Birth control pill (122 responses) Pull-out method (122 responses)

14.6% have not

70.7% have been in love

92.4% have not had an STI

1.0% trans + nonbinary 1.0% man + nonbinary

3.8% nonbinary 1.0% questioning <1.0% genderqueer <1.0% identifies with 3+

1.9% woman + nonbinary

30.0% men

60.1% women

14.6% are unsure

5.1% have 2.5% are unsure

ore sex may e v a h 1.3% n once a d tha

3.8% last 0-5 min 14.6% last 6-10 min

24.2% have not, but would be interested

20.4% a few times per year

<1.0% last 51-60 min 6.1% last 4.8% last 60+ min 41-50 min 13.7% have never had 7.0% last an orgasm 31-40 min 7.3% prefer not to say

23.9% last 11-20 min

22.3% haven’t had sex

es s tim 3. e 6 m 4 ti % week 1.0% once 2% p 4 3 .

5 no ref 1 eek a day per t e 1% say to r 20. per w

26.4% a few times per month

18.2% last 21-30 min

69.1% have not had a threesome

6.7% have had a threesome

BIGGEST “ICKS” • “Men who expect you to give a blowjob without washing their dick.”

• “When they’re not considerate to strangers/service workers.”

• “When pookie drinks 0 water.”

• “Men who sign up for my high school newspaper project and send me an article on Brett Kavanaugh and fully plagiarize the whole thing and then when confronted about it confess their love for me with a poem that is also completely plagiarized.”

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Swiping right on College Mixer, the dating app for Western students Mabel Zhao

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Cuffing season has officially begun, and apparently there’s no better place to find yourself a date than College Mixer — formerly known as Winder — the dating app created for and by Western students.

I first heard about College Mixer during Orientation Week. “Tinder for Western students,” was how my soph described it. None of my friends had ever used the app after its relaunch last October, though.

I’ve never tried dating apps before. The 18-year-old age limit on many apps meant that I had been too young to sign up until very recently. Now that I was of age, College Mixer seemed like a good place to start — and it turned out well.

After signing up and having my identity verified via my Western University email, my roommate and I spent an hour crafting a profile that gave “friendly but cool girl” vibes. I curated my photo selection carefully, nothing too revealing and lots of photos with friends so that people knew I wasn’t a loner.

I’m pretty proud of the bio line I came up with for my profile: “My Roman empire is the actual Roman empire,” with a smirk emoji at the end, a play on the fact that I’m studying classics.

Then, with my profile made and my friends hyping me up, I began swiping.

I got off to a rocky start. On dating apps, swiping right on a profile means you’re interested in another person, while swiping left means you’re not interested.

I got this mixed up a few times and may have mistakenly swiped right on my next-door neighbour in this bout of directional confusion — I guess we’ll find out next time I bump into them at the bus stop.

On College Mixer, there’s no way to adjust your age preferences. This meant that my 18-year-old self ended up having a couple of 25-year-olds popping up on my feed, which was a little unexpected because I forgot there were graduate and mature students on the app.

I also quickly realized there were not that many people on the app. After about an hour of swiping, I already ran out of profiles. College Mixer’s recent relaunch may explain the lack of users.

One cool feature about the app is that it has a leaderboard ranking its users and showcasing their profiles. Without knowing what exactly this leaderboard measures, I made it to number nine — I don’t know if

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that’s an accomplishment to be proud of or a sign that I spent too much time on the app.

I ended up matching with a couple of guys. One was a 22-year-old — which is out of my preferred age range — so that was probably an accidental swipe right when I meant to swipe left.

The other guy sent a cheesy pick-up line that I didn’t know how to respond to, so I never replied.

Ghosting is very easy on College Mixer. If you don’t respond to a text within a day, you’re automatically unmatched. It might be a slightly-problematic take, but I liked this feature be-

cause it made it easier to end awkward conversations.

Back in middle school, I was one of those parental nightmares that used to hang around in online chat rooms all night. This resulted in me becoming an adult who isn’t intimidated by talking to strangers on the internet, and I was excited to meet some new people.

I was pleasantly surprised when I matched with a fellow first-year student and ended up hitting it off with them. We bonded over our love for Percy Jackson, young adult dystopian literature and Ontario Hall food su-

premacy. All green flags in my opinion.

After chatting for a while, he asked me to hang out and we ended up meeting to grab food and watch a movie — which I say counts as a College Mixer success story.

I told one of my roommates about my College Mixer date afterwards and she immediately whipped out her phone to download the app.

“So it really works?” she asked.

“Lemme see if I can find someone too.”

So College Mixer, should we talk about compensation for all this advertising I’m doing?

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London’s best affordable date spots Paniz Vedavarz

Finding the right date spot is not only crucial for a first date, it can also add fresh energy to an ongoing relationship. A well-chosen spot can create lasting memories on top of setting the right tone.

Most importantly, you can get to these affordable date spots with just a single bus ride from campus.

Tilt Arcade Bar — $7+ 359 Talbot St. Tilt Arcade Bar is the perfect balance between affordability and fun, offering unlimited play of their diverse arcade games for just $7 per person. From retro classics like Pac-Man to the latest version of Mario Kart, there’s something for everyone. Nothing says date night like an enticing match of Mortal Kombat II, with the loser buying drinks.

Palasad Social Bowl — $16+

Saga Board Games & Coffee — $10+

777 Adelaide St. N

105 King St.

Bowling is the perfect backdrop for some healthy competition and good conversation. Palasad goes beyond the typical bowling experience. It’s easy to find yourself spending your entire night here — Palasad offers a variety of foods and drinks, coupled with occasional live music. When you and your partner decide to take a break from bowling, the bar and a selection of wood-oven pizzas awaits.

Saga is a perfect day or night date spot. During the day, enjoy a cup of coffee and dive into a selection of hundreds of board games, ranging from classics like Clue to more niche options like Gloomhaven. In the evening, you can order cocktails named after popular games, like the “You Sunk My Battleship,” a tropical vodka-based drink. Regardless of the time of day, board games are a great way to fill any potential awkward silences during a date.

Junction Climbing Centre — $21+

Grand Theatre — $25+

1030 Elias St.

471 Richmond St.

If you’re looking for something more active, Junction Climbing Center is the right place. Post-secondary students can purchase a day pass for $21, giving them access to varying levels of climbing walls. Whether you want to impress your date with your climbing abilities or share a laugh over the challenge, Junction offers a unique and memorable experience. No matter how the date goes, after a day of climbing, you’ll have each other’s hearts racing.

London’s arts and culture scene is often overlooked when considering date spots, but the Grand Theatre might have you reconsider. While the Grand can often be on the pricier side, tickets start at around $20. Featuring a diverse selection of shows, spanning from comedies to dramas, the Grand always has something new to offer, making it a great choice for recurring dates. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry — even if you’re in the nosebleeds.

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Let’s get p

COREGASMS, Perhaps you’ve seen the TikTok videos people have shared about experiencing coregasms at the gym. This may lead you to wonder: why endure all the phases leading up to pleasure when you can orgasm from a plank?

As the name implies, coregasms — the slang term for core muscle-induced orgasms — are mainly experienced by people with vaginas while engaging in core exercises.

While coregasms seem real, according to professionals, there hasn’t been much research and evidence about the newlypopular term aside from unofficial definitions found on blogs and social media.

Kevin McKenna, a neuroscience and urology professor at the Feinberg School of Medicine

at Northwestern University, says coregasms occur differently than sexually-induced orgasms.

McKenna explains that orgasms are caused by a combination of physical sensations, including direct genital stimulation, and mental sensations like the excitement of being with a lover.

But sometimes, it’s possible to orgasm from only one — the coregasm serving as a prime example of solely physically-induced orgasms.

During stimulation, blood rushes to the vaginal region. Some isometric exercises — movements that target a specific muscle group, like planks and the boat pose — can prevent blood from leaving the vaginal area. This causes an even bigger overflow of blood to form, which can result in the physical sensation of an orgasm.

But, this doesn’t mean anyone can experience a coregasm just by doing these exercises.

According to Sean McWatt, an assistant professor at Western University’s school of kinesiology, coregasms may depend on how often someone’s pelvic floor muscles — the muscles in the pubic region — are activated.

“People have a hard time selectively activating their pelvic floor muscles, because it’s not something that you do all the time, so it actually requires a lot of training,” says McWatt. He shares that a common exercise that can strengthen pelvic muscles are kegels, which invovle the tightening and releasing of the pelvic floor muscles.

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physical:

, EXPLAINED Tara Yang McWatt says that it’s the rhythmic contractions, repetitive muscle movements, associated with certain exercises that may physically cause coregasms by applying and releasing pressure on the sensitive tissues of the genitals.

“Things like rhythmic contractions are a component of an orgasm,” says McWatt.

He explains that

rhythmic contractions are a part of our fight or flight response, which is activated by involuntary body systems we can’t consciously control like our internal organs.

During an orgasm, our pelvic floor muscles — normally under conscious or voluntary control — are hijacked by our involuntary system, leading to rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor.

It’s possible that repeated contractions of our core muscles during exercise can cause this reflex and work backwards, tricking our brain into experiencing an orgasm.

A tip that McWatt shares to increase the chances of having a

coregasm is to train core activation. “Not neglecting the pelvic floor is important in breathing,” says McWatt.

Exercises and sports that require balance and core muscle activation may also increase one’s chances of experiencing a coregasm. The deep breathing associated with yoga is an example of this.

This also means that meditation can increase the chances of having a coregasm.

So fitness nuts, consider isometric and rhythmic contraction exercises with a dash of meditation to spice up workouts.

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Keep your friends without benefits Editorial Board Think about any experiences you’ve had where friends in your group start dating. How often did it actually work?

Did it end with no drama? Everyone being friends? Didn’t think so.

Best case scenario, dating in your friend group works out, you all stay friends and everything is sunshine and rainbows. But worst case scenario, and what often happens in reality, it can cause the friend group to implode and make for a messy breakup. Dating in the friend group isn’t worth the drama or the potential explosion of friend groups when things go south or an inevitable breakup ensues.

There’s a risk that not only will you lose the best friend that became your partner, but potentially lose so many friends who get caught in the middle of a messy breakup. Friends can be put in a situation where they are forced to choose one partner or the other.

Conflicts like exes not wanting to be around each other at parties or social situations are also super common. It just makes everything uncomfortable for everyone all around.

It’s like a civil war occurs, not to be dramatic or anything.

Shit-talking is also an inevitable consequence of dating someone in the friend group. When you’re dealing with the issues of a relationship, you want to go to your friends to get their advice, or sometimes just for an open ear to rant.

The downsides to this though include your friend group knowing aspects of a relationship that one partner may have wanted to keep private, your partner shit-talking in the friend group about your relationship problems without you being there and your friends giving biased support based on their skewed perception of their friend, rather than your partner.

On the flip side, while you can get friends’ perspective on a potential partner, it might not work out how you think. There can be two different sides to someone; how they act with friends v.s. how they act with you. Since people can act differently to different people, you may be in a situation where your friends don’t believe the toxicity of a person because of their skewed perception.

What can also happen is friends pressuring someone to stay with a person because they simply can’t see the bad parts of them, or they don’t want the inevitable breakup drama.

And when this happens, toxic relationships or relationships that have simply run their course tend to be prolonged just for the sake of keeping the friend group together.

That being said, dating in your friend group can be a positive and beautiful experience. You likely started off as friends meaning you already have something in common.

In reality, you can’t control who dates who or prevent your friends from dating each other. So let this be a cautionary tale if you’re going into a situation where you’re dating in the friend group. One should ask themselves, “Can I handle it maturely? Can I still be friends after we break up? How will it impact other people?” Keeping these questions and your friends in mind, while prioritizing yourself, can make for the least explosive outcome of dating in the friend group.

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It’s not just Netflix: Meet Western alum, sex therapist Amie Latta Manan Joshi

When Amie Latta graduated from Western University with a bachelor of Health Science in 2010, the last thing she expected to become was a sex therapist.

While many of her patients open her Zoom link expecting to find Jean Milburn from Netflix’s Sex Education, Amie’s practice is far from that. For starters, she doesn’t spend the whole hour talking about penises, vaginas and nipple play.

Sex therapy is a psychotherapy practice that helps people’s sex lives and sexuality, with a key component being increasing a patient’s confidence in their own identity.

According to Amie, sex therapy is a space where people come to talk about sex and things they don’t necessarily feel comfortable talking about with their partner or friends.

“They are able to ask those questions that they feel are really embarrassing,” she adds.

People can go to sex therapy by themselves or with their partner(s). A sex therapist’s job is to help each person in the session gain a deeper con-

nection with each other and a greater understanding of their relationship.

Long before Amie became a sex therapist, sex had been a years-long taboo topic. She was raised in a conservative Christian culture for the majority of her life, where purity culture — a sub-Christian culture that emphasizes strict gender roles and norms, abstinence and modesty — was highly enforced.

“I remember at 18 years old reading the sex edition of the Gazette at Western and learning a lot from it, but also feeling a lot of shame because I had NO experience sexually what-so-ever but I wanted to have sex,” wrote Amie.

During her time at Western, she found it so vibrant and special to meet new people who were different from her, both in their belief system and the way that they approach life.

After she graduated from school and practiced psychotherapy for several years, a clinical supervisor told her she would be really good at sex therapy. Amie couldn’t help but laugh. Sex therapy was the last thing on her mind after her Christian upbringing.

Her supervisor started out by giving Amie a few of her clients.

Amie came into her first client session expecting the conversation to be completely sex-centred, but it was nothing like that. They focused on how her patient could deepen their connection with themself sexually, and their conversation mainly surrounded work, life and childhood.

The biggest misconception about sex therapy, Amie says, is that clients should expect to walk out of a session with a prescription of how much sex to have and how long it should be.

Instead, she focuses on a holistic approach in her practice.

“I come at it more from a client-centred lens in terms of where you are feeling there is a dissonance,” Amie says. “We work together to navigate finding a place where they feel more comfortable and more satisfied in who they are sexually.”

The whole session is just a conversation. While she never shows or demonstrates anything like sex toys, she does provide suggestions for exercises or techniques that clients

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can try at home, for example, using lubricant, trying BDSM or considering different relationship configurations.

Some clients are referred to her by a doctor to understand their psychological barriers.

Other clients have never talked to their family doctor, friends or even their partner about their difficulties.

“People really are the authors of their own stories,” says Amie. “I’ve been able to witness a lot of people [become] more comfortable with who they are.”

In terms of her own story, Amie found her-

self growing up as someone who couldn’t say the word penis or vulva without laughing to someone having a “holistic and open sex-positive perspective to the whole person experience of sexuality.”

“I am really happy with where I have journeyed to but I also respect the multitude of journeys others are on around sex and sexuality.”

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Tim’s Line In a world of followers, be a line leader. Pay homage to the endless UCC Tim’s lineup by running the world’s longest train. For advanced fun, you could even consider a double decker train.

Mustang Hang

Western Tunnels

Spice up the tried-and-true 69 position by doing it while standing!

In true Mustang fashion, be bold and take on an extra challenge.

You might even get in a workout — multitasking has never been this sexy.

Adventure is out there! Explore your partner like they’re Western’s underground tunnel system. You might even find a shortcut for your partner to come to their final destination. Just keep an eye out for dust and/or cobwebs.

O-Hall Blue Ball Who says having blue balls can’t be a ball? Kick out your roommate and treat yourself with this salacious solo adventure.

Reverse Bike Guy

UCC Backdoor

Reverse cowgirl? Outdated and corny. Take inspiration from a campus legend and reverse it like Western’s own backwards bike guy.

Here’s a little secret: if you need a shortcut to class, try the UCC back door. Another secret? If you need a shortcut to your partner’s fantasies, use their backdoor.

WESTERN SEX POSITIONS Scott Yun Ho

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Tiny Love Stories Mr. Worldwide I never expected two years ago that someone I met online could become one of my best friends. Flash forward to this summer, and I traveled across the world to meet you. It was some of the most fun I have ever had. I don’t normally believe in fate, but every day I feel so thankful that I met you through some buggy language exchange app in the middle of a global pandemic.

Although I was at the complete opposite side of the world, you made me feel at home. I can’t wait until we can meet again.

One more for the Road We sit looking into the water as it ripples from the rocks we’re trying to skip. We share our cokes, feed each other peaches and laugh about the past. She smells of department store deodorant and sunscreen. An old man in his sailboat drifts across. It’s all just a distraction, but that’s fine because it’s good and easy. The cool water touches our toes as the bottom of her shirt gets wet. She’ll be gone tomorrow, and I’ll still be sitting on the hot sand looking into the deep blue water, watching the waves as they roll in. But don’t think about that now. The sun is setting.

Love Loving You You healed a heart you didn’t break. You helped build a confidence you didn’t shatter. You showed me love didn’t have to be so hard. After meeting you, love was easy, love was fun. From daily good morning texts to random flower drop offs — you showed me how I deserved to be loved.

They say when you know, you know … and I definitely know. Every day, I love loving you and I can’t wait to do it forever.

A Girl’s Best Friend She stretched out her little paw as she laid on the hammock behind the bars of her cage. She was looking for a home, and it was like she was reaching out to me. We were inseparable for nine years — a kid and a kitten against the world. I thought she would never forgive me when I left for university — she hissed when I first returned.

But now she understands I will always come back to visit her. I no longer always find her fur on my clothes or pawprints on my furniture, but she smiles at me from my lock screen every day. They say cats have nine lives, and I sure hope she chooses me to be her best friend in all of them.

My dad My dad does everything for me. From the tuition he pays to the laundry that he folds when I’m gone. The reminders — the endless reminders — leave gaps in our conversation as they lose consistency. His mind is full so that mine can be empty. Teach a man to fish — my dad draws the fish in, grabs it with his bare hands and serves it on a golden platter. His parents didn’t show him this love. He does everything for me.

It’s not that I’m incapable — it’s that no one has ever taken care of him the way he takes care of me.

The Real Teacher I used to teach you everything from dinosaur facts to movie trivia, and you used to be so impressed with how much I knew. I remember you telling your kindergarten teacher that I am the smartest person in the world, and it made me feel special. All this time I thought I was teaching you about life, but the most important lessons have been the ones you taught me. You taught me courage. You taught me how to laugh at myself. You taught me how to hold my head high in every situation. I could go on and on about the impact you’ve had in your big brother’s life, but the shortest way to say it is I could never be more grateful for having a lifelong best friend like you.

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