Giant cover-up over cheese package

Cheesed-off residents say the Cerne Abbas Giant has been ‘castrated’ and made ‘non-binary’ on a dairy company’s labelling.

But the Oxford Cheese Company say they were left between a Roquefort and a hard place after a shopper was shocked by the chopper on its Cerne Abbas Man vintage cheddar.

The big cheeses at the firm insist they have not lopped off the Giant’s todger, but instead, given him a pair of trousers to wear in one supermarket –his member remains proudly on display in other stores, apparently. Villagers, however, are less than impressed.

Vic Irvine, head brewer at Cerne Abbas Brewery, our giant here and defacing him like this is like throwing paint over

UNDER WRAPS:

The Cerne Giant has been censored ...by a cheese. Above, Dorchester Mayor Alistair Chisholm paid tribute to the Giant’s ‘magnificent’ member

Nelson’s Column. It is clearly a binary giant who has a large phallus. It’s that simple.

“If you don’t like it, don’t use our giant. The whole thing makes me really cross, I’m incandescent with rage.”

Dorchester’s Mayor Alistair Chisholm said: “That’s just wrong. The whole point is that he is depicted the way he is, which is what makes people come to see him. “It makes a mockery of it. It’s like filling in Durdle Door and making it a solid block of rock.

“His member is what makes him magnificent. “It would just be plain wrong to make him amorphous.

“The whole point is that it provokes a reaction. Remove his member and he is just a white line on the hillside.”

MONDAY: 7pm

CROSSWAYS

Crossways Youth & Community Centre, Old Farm Way DT2 8TU

Julie 07871 821928

TUESDAY: 7pm

DORCHESTER

The Old Salvation Army Hall, Durngate Street DT1 1NA (google The Pointe)

Tracie 07827 710552

TUESDAY: 5.30pm & 7pm

WEDNESDAY: 9am &10.30am

WAREHAM

Masonic Hall, Howards Lane

BH20 4HU

Jackie 07715 438810 slimmingworld.co.uk

THURSDAY: 7pm

PUDDLETOWN

Puddletown Village Hall, High Street DT2 8FZ

Call/text Julie 07871 821928

FRIDAY 9.30am & 11am

SATURDAY: 9.30am

DORCHESTER

Dorchester Youth & Community Centre, Kings Road, DT1 1NJ

Sam 07814 619200

Voucher fund help

Applications for supermarket vouchers as part of the Household Support Fund (HSF) are open, and residents who meet eligibility criteria can expect to receive them in 6-8 weeks. Residents should apply at dorsetcouncil.gov.uk/ household-support-fund. For help with the form ring 01305 221000.

Blue Flag award

Weymouth beach has scooped a Blue Flag for its cleanliness. Environmental charity Keep Britain Tidy says the beach met the high standard for the Blue Flag and Seaside Award. The Blue Flag is presented to well-managed beaches with water quality defined as ‘excellent’ under the EU Bathing Water Directive and environmental education programmes.