IF I COULD GO BACK by J. B. Hogan

If I could go back to when

you were here, before you left,

before the quiet, the aching quiet,

when we still talked, when we

still laughed and you were there,

we had snapshots of the moon,

the sky, the neighbor’s bright lights

that bothered you and the cat,

and brought light to the night,

night that shone on my dark soul

that you had so easily captured but

was too dark, too changeable to

override all the reasons

that you left, left me here

in the future, where all I can do

is look back, look back to the time

when you were here, before you left,

before the emptiness, the aching emptiness,

where we no longer talk, no longer laugh,

no longer matter – save in my dark,

unfulfilled and unhappy dreams.

J. B. Hogan has been published in a number of journals including the Blue Lake Review, Crack the Spine, Copperfield Review, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Well Read Magazine, and Aphelion. His eleven books include Bar Harbor, Mexican Skies, Living Behind Time, Losing Cotton, and The Apostate. He lives in Fayetteville, Arkansas.