COMMUNICATIONS A "GOBBLEDYGOOK" APPROACH TO FAMOUS SAYINGS

Even well-known or simple ideas can be transformed into monstrosities impossible to understand, given a determined or misguided "communicator". See if you can translate or recognise the famous sayings below:

1. A mineral matter of various composition when engaged in periodical revolution exhibits no tendency to accumulate any of the cryptogamic plants of the class musci.

Translation: a rolling stone gathers no moss.

2. Seeking a suitable place for the purpose of courting a state of dormant quiescence during the first part of the crepuscular period and forsaking said suitable place during the first part of the matinal period results in myriad benefits to homo-sapians among which benefits may be noted a substantial increase in body soundness, monies and sagacity.

Translation: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

3. It has been observed that an enclosing barrier, for the purpose of discouraging and preventing intrusion upon that which it encloses, tends to enhance the amicability of those whose property abuts on said barrier.

Translation: The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

4. The positive appeal of a visual object depends not so much upon the objective standards against which said object is measured, nor upon the image said object records upon the retina and optic nerve, as it does upon the cerebral interpretation ofthe image recorded by the organ of vision of that individual who observes said object.

Translation: Beauty exists only in the eye of the beholder.

5. From deliberative investigation it has come to our attention that the aviatorial member of the Phylum Chordata which is anticipatory, will invariably apprehend the member ofthe slender soft-bodied bilateral invertebrates.

Translation: Early bird catches the worm.