“Asteroid City” Misses the Earth

For many years, folks have wondered what might happen if an asteroid ever struck the earth.

But with Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City,” there’s nothing to fear: The film doesn’t come anywhere near this planet.

Joseph W. Smith III

In fact, it’s such a weird, incomprehensible movie that for only the second or third time in 50 years of reviewing, I’m flummoxed on how to approach it.

I guess I should start by asserting that I did not like it.

At all.

And I don’t think your typical viewer will care for it either — despite its baffling 75% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. (As a friend said on Facebook: “I don’t know what I just saw.”) cial backdrops, he’s something of an acquired taste. I’m generally fond of his work and was really looking forward to this piece, with its lovely pastel colors, retro 1950s setting and astonishing cast: Jason Schwartzman, Scarlett Johansson, Edward Norton, Bryan Cranston, Jeffrey Wright, Liev Schreiber, Margot Robbie, Adrien Brody, Matt Dillon, Steve Carell, Fisher Stevens, Willem Dafoe, Bob Balaban, Rita Wilson, Tilda Swinton, Jeff Goldblum, and Tom Hanks.

But with this new movie, Anderson’s idiosyncrasies have gotten the best of him.

Tucked away on a 6.0 Acre Lot is this 1 1/2 Story Dome Style Home with over 1700 sq.ft. of L/A to include: 3 Bedrooms1 1/2 Bath. First floor entrance leads into a spacious Living Room with the stairway to the second floor exposing a small loft & Master Bedroom w/ En suite Bath - Living Room opens to a Dining area w/ mini kitchen. Newer addition of the Main Kitchen includes Frigidaire Professional Appliances, Center Island Range and an abundance of Beautiful hardwood Cabinetry, Pantry Storage & Dinette Space.

Amenities include: New Shingle Roof, Detached 2 Car Garage, Rear Deck, Storage Shed, Fully cemented basement area with workshop, Electric panels set up for Outside generator.

Auctioneer Note: Real Estate of the late, Delores A. Smith. Attorney, Howard Langdon. Home Built: Prior to 1978, potential buyer has option to inspect for lead paint hazards prior to auction – UPI: 021-00-005-064-B. Please contact the auctioneer for your own private showing.

Terms: To be sold w/ Administrators Immediate confi rmation. Cash or Certified check in the amount of $2,000.00 required on day of auction as down payment, payable to Interstate Auction Services, LLC Escrow. 6% Buyer’s Premium Charged and paid as part of the purchase price. Settlement made 60 days from sale date or upon delivery of clear deed. All tests & inspections to be conducted prior to auction at potential buyer’s expense. All verbal statements take precedence over previously written materials. Property being sold “AS IS, WHERE IS”, No guaranties made by the seller.

Anderson is the idiosyncratic, cultfav writer-director behind such films as “Royal Tenebaums,” “Moonrise Kingdom” and “Isle of Dogs.” With his oddball characters, spare squarish framing, and deliberately artifi-

The plot is such a mish-mosh of disparate, ill-fitting elements that it’s almost impossible to describe. Its titular setting is a remote desert town visited by a recent widower and his four children due to an automotive breakdown; as their grandfather comes to rescue them and Schwarzman falls for a glamorous film star who’s also in town, a con- vention of “brainiac” kids descends on the arid enclave to gaze at the heavens and receive some sort of science award from an army official. There’s an alien spaceship, a vending machine that sells real estate, a meteor crater and its surviving fragment, a military quarantine, a running-gag police pursuit, a gang of singing cowboys, some sort of hovering government agents and a professor who’s working on a “Hypothesis of Celestial Flirtation.”

As if this weren’t enough, there’s an inexplicable, black-and-white, two-level framing story in which a Rod Serling stand-in narrates the writing, rehearsal and performance of a play called “Asteroid City,” which is the madcap story described above. I could make no sense of this external frame, in particular why anyone would attempt a stage-play with vast desert vistas, a UFO, countless 1950s autos and a full-size freight train whose stipulated 600-something cars is three times the length of any rail consist ever hooked together. But I can handle weirdness (after all, I do like David Lynch), and I found the film at least handsome to look at. For me, the death-knell was that I simply could not get emotionally connected to any of the characters (a frequent Anderson weakness); and worse, I have no idea what the film is trying to say. With little fear of a spoiler, here’s its apparent mantra, chanted ad nauseum at the climax: “If you don’t fall asleep, you can’t wake up.” While scarcely anyone would argue with this, I certainly don’t know what it’s supposed to mean.

And it doesn’t help that Anderson’s dialog keeps telegraphing the movie’s haphazard shapelessness:

“Everything’s connected, but nothing’s working.”

“I still don’t understand the play” — with its response: “It doesn’t matter; just keep telling the story.”

“I would question whether it even is a plot.” Rejoinder: “It isn’t.” (Admittedly, this refers to a burial site — but I’m sure Anderson is nodding to his storyline as well.)

And toward the end, our framework playwright, when asked what it’s about, gives this reply: “Mmm … infinity. And I don’t know what else.”

Neither do I.

The month of July has been home to many historical events over the years. Here’s a look at some that helped to shape the world in July 1923.

A law banning Chinese immigrants from coming to the Dominion of Canada goes into effect on July 1. The Chinese Immigration Act remained in effect until May 14, 1947.

Roughly 20,000 people attend a July 4 boxing match between champion Jack Dempsey and challenger Tommy Gibbons in the small Montana oil town of Shelby. Estimates indicated only around 35 percent of those in attendance paid to see the bout, which proved to be a financial punch to the gut for the promoters.

The Cleveland Indians set an American League record on July 7 by scoring in every inning of a game they eventually win 27-3. The offensive onslaught includes a 13-run inning in which all 13 runs are charged to Boston Red Sox pitcher Francis “Lefty” O’Doul.

On July 9, U.S. Army Lieutenant Russell Maughan lands his plane in a cow pasture in St. Joseph, Missouri, marking an end to his first attempt to make a dawn-to-dusk transcontinental flight across the United States. Maughan made a second unsuccessful attempt 10 days later.

The Paraguayan Civil War ends on July 10, with former President Manuel Gondra and his supporters declaring victory.

Harry Frazee, perhaps best known as the owner of the Boston Red Sox who traded Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees, thus beginning the alleged Curse of the Bambino, sells the team for $1.25 million on July 11.

The Hollywood Sign is officially dedicated on July 13.

Retired Mexican guerilla leader Pancho Villa is shot dead alongside many members of his entourage on July 20. Reports at the time suggest the assassination is retaliation for executions Villa had ordered during the Mexican Revolution.

On July 22, the American oil tanker SS Swiftstar explodes and sinks after passing through the Panama Canal. Investigators later conclude a bolt of lightning had hit the tanker and caused the explosion.

The Treaty of Lausanne is signed on July 24 in Switzerland. The treaty formally ends hostilities between the Allies and the Ottoman Empire.

On July 29, Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini receives tens of thousands of missives from people across Italy wishing him a happy fortieth birthday.