The Mountain Spirit - Jan./Feb. 1994

The Mountain

V oi. Xin, N o. 1

While change and growth

The Magazine of the Christian Appalachian Project

are by-words for most, if not all o f CAP’S programs, it is perhaps easiest to see in the programs that deal with

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children. Starting with just one center that provided day care as well as child develop­ ment nearly twenty years ago, CAP’S centers today are

Infant and Toddler: Parent Connections

by June Widman

Up 16 Growing with CAP

by Beth Dotson

Growing up with CAP, p.16

Connecting with 20 the Holy Fam ily

by Kathleen Leavell, Ina Faye Price and Sarah Sheckel

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Tabatha’s Tree House

by Barbara Brown

Departm ents

Parent Connections, p.4

Change will begin with children

January - February 1994

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Random Thoughts Letters Around the Project The CAP Closeup

recognized as some o f the finest anywhere. In fact, just about the time that CAP opened its sixth child develop­ ment center, another received national accreditation, the second CAP center to be so certified (details, page ten).

Recognizing a need to begin involvement with children and their families from an earlier age, the child development centers have started to work with children at birth, as you’ll read in the story on page four. We thought you might like to meet some young people who have been involved with CAP for many years (see page sixteen). On page twenty-two you’ll read about what can happen when CAP workers help a family make a lasting change. On the cover, a McCreary County toddler makes a connection (photo by Lorraine Corsale).

Published by the Christian Appalachian Project. E d itor: Margaret Gabriel. A d viso ry B oard: Father Ralph W . Belting, Mike M cLaughlin, Bill Begley, Ike Adams, Barbara Delm onico, Katie New som e, Beverly Potter. G ra p h ic D esign er: Elizabeth Reed Miller. C ircu la tio n : Linda Grider East.

The M ountain Spirit is published six times a year. The annual subscription price is $6.00. Subscriptions and other correspondence should be sent to The M ountain Spirit, Christian Appalachian Project, 322 Crab Orchard Road, Lancaster, Kentucky 40446.

Copyright 1994, The Christian Appalachian Project, Inc. All rights reserved. Member, Catholic Press Association.

The Christian Appalachian Project is a non-profit Christian service organization operating throughout Appalachia. The project operates on the philosophy that “helping people help them selves” is the best approach to Appalachian poverty.

A summary o f the registration and financial documents filed by this organization can be obtained by contacting: in New York, Secretary o f State, O ffice a t Charities Registration, 162 W ashington A v e ., A lbany, N Y 12231; in M aryland, the Secretary o f State, State House, Annapolis, M D 21401; in Pennsylvania, residents may call the Pennsylvania Department o f State at 1-800-732-0999; in W est V irgin ia, the Secretary o f State, State C apitol, Charleston, W V 23303; in V irgin ia, the State D ivision o f Consumer A ffairs, P .O . Box 1163, Richm ond, V A 23209. W ashington State residents m ay obtain a copy o f the last report filed with the W ashington Secretary erf State by calling toll free within W ashington, 1-800-332-4483. h i Florida, residents m ay call the D ivision o f Consumer Services at 1-800-H ELP-FLA . O r write to Christian Appalachian Project, 322 Crab Orchard Road, Lancaster, K Y 40446. Our license number in M ichigan is M IC S 9933. Registration with any o f the above government agencies does not im ply endorsement by the state.

The M ountain Spirit

Random Thoughts Sarah Dixon

Children: beautiful clay to be formed from many colors, in many shapes and sizes, all with big eyes of anticipation. Their opportuni­ ties are unique. With CAP, chil­ dren can experience a school setting before they start public school.

At CAP child development centers, play becomes the pro­ gram, and daily activities are enhanced as learning experiences.

School becomes an extension of home; the two are brought together through home visits, parenting classes and enrichment programs carried on throughout the children’s stay at their centers.

Parents participate as a vital part of the program. They perform many daily activities freeing teachers to better care for the children. Parenting abilities are fostered and parental confidence is built.

Beginning at age three, children can participate in the programs for two years. Sharing becomes a natural part of their lives. Caring for self through development of self-confidence, and caring for others through interactive play introduces children to the school environment soon to come and the world at large to come thereafter.

From ancient sources, including Socrates, come guidelines for assisting children in their years of growth that carry over into their lives as adults. From those guide­ lines we learn that knowledge is in place and the awakening o f that knowledge for use in many

Jan u ary - February 1994

situations is all that is necessary.

CORSALE

From backroads, mountain hollers and city streets nearly 250 children have converged on the Christian Appalachian Project’s child development centers this year. Here, new “homes” evolve and a belonging beyond the family unit is instilled into little students and their families.

Through supervised activities and directed play —in large groups, small groups, and individually—

CAP’s child development centers foster the develop­ ment of academic abilities. Cognitive and motor skills are two o f many building blocks to be gained from manipulating building blocks in pre-school classrooms. All this supports preparation for transi­ tion from home to school.

With nurturing and personal attention, hugs and individual recognition, parents and children gain the self-confidence needed to make the move to public school.

For example, involvement with Children’s Discovery Center in Somerset has guided one parent to become a vocal, active member of the board o f a family resource center established by the public school system.

Do CAP’s child development centers prepare children for the next stage of life? Are they getting the basics o f social and academic growth? Are they truly ready for transition through the opening doors? Do we provide a firm basis for life’s journey? Confidence that there are positive answers to all these questions dwells within.

From past students come warm reinforcements to this confidence.

Parents speak of how their children recognize their “first” school when they drive by and ask if they could visit.

Jonathan, a twelve-year-old boy, stopped to say hello and get a hug

(proof o f long-lived nurturing love). He said the center looked the same and even had some of the same “old” toys. “Remember,” he said, “the volcano we made and the things we did about Hawaii?”

Chris, a sixteen-year-old boy, visited and in his reminiscences, asked to slide down the slide. He asked to do volunteer work on the playground in his pursuit for an Eagle Scout Badge. Over and again such visits, comments and activities reinforce confidence in what is being done in the center.

I fully believe, even without the benefits o f statistics from follow­ up tracking, that the children carry good memories with them and will call upon their abilities acquired at the centers for use far beyond our doors.

Twelve-year-old alumnus, Ernie, illustrates this point. Asked what he learned at Children’s Discovery Center that helped him the most at “big school,” Ernie replied, “You know, I’m an only child and I learned how to make friends at your school. Then I knew how to make friends at the big school.” ft Sarah D ixon is the m anager o f the Children’s D iscovery Center, CA P’S child developm ent center in Somerset.

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Infant and Toddler Parent Connections C h i l d ren and the Christian Appalachian Project have gone hand in hand since CAP’S beginning.

Father Beiting’s earliest

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efforts at organized program s involved children.

The oldest continuous programs in CAP are summer camps and the child development centers, originally set up to work with children from age three to six. Providing a safe, nurturing, stimulating environment for young children has always been a wonderful way to become involved with entire families.

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By listening to parents, child development staff have been able to help deal with more o f the family’s concerns through a constant, dynamic program. When Kentucky mandated kindergarten programs for five-year-olds in the school systems, the child development centers focused on serving families with three- and four-year-olds. Programs to help parents learn parenting skills and be supported in their role as parents became an integral part of each center.

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b yJu n eW id m an ♦ The M ountain Spirit

When former director o f human develop­ ment Ellen Burke first became involved in CAP’S child development programs in 1973, she was very interested in a model that was being phased out o f Kentucky.

The Kentucky Infant/Preschool Program (KIPP) had been set up to work with lowincome mothers from pregnancy through the time their children entered school.

During pregnancy and infancy, home visits were made to encourage healthful habits and positive interactions. The four- and five-year-olds attended a center while moms were supported in their role as parents.

“It was a wonderful, wonderful m odel,” says Ellen. “I knew we didn’t have the resources to implement something quite that extensive, but I never forgot the concept.” Ellen adds, “We always recog­ nized how important parents are, but by getting moms and dads to come and work in the center, more learning could take place.”

By 1985, staffing at CAP’S child develop­ ment centers had shifted to allow the program managers to spend about half of their work time focusing on the needs of the parents. More home visits were made, small groups were formed to explore options in discipline, parent newsletters and notes were sent home regularly, and monthly parent meetings were con­ ducted—all in an effort to support families.

As with the rest o f the country, Appala­ chia has been affected by a changing society where extended family is not always there to help a new parent. There is not necessarily an appropriate model for parenting available to every new mother.

As staff at the child development centers worked more closely with parents, they began to see some parents who were really hungry for and receptive to parenting information. Parents wished they had learned some of these skills when their children were younger.

For Teri Mehler, program manager of CAP Child Development Center in Berea, her previous work experience kept her longing for a program that would impact parents o f very young children—infants and toddlers.

“After years o f doing birthing classes and watching babies being bom , it became clear to me the importance o f maternalinfant and paternal-infant attachments. I think o f the first five years o f life as the foundation o f the house being built. What we are now has a lot to do with that layer.”

The child development program manag­ ers were seeing a more positive impact on parenting style in those families who had children in the program for more than one year. Incorporating the belief and then implementing the techniques that provide an environment for children to leam selfcontrol can take a long time, especially where abusive family patterns may have been in place for years. Child development staff people were working with three- and four-year-old children with language and developmental delays, knowing that earlier intervention would have been helpful to both the child and the family.

The infant and toddler component o f CAP’S child developmentprogram not only works with babies, but instructs parents in the most effective ways to teach and interact with their children Ja n u a ry - February 1994

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borrowed car, “scrounged” materials, and another volun­ teer, Brenda began to make home visits to the parents o f the Berea center’s three- to fiveyear-olds with younger siblings.

The original goal was to work with the parent and child together in the home once a week. Periodically the volun­ teers would bring several moms and their babies together in one home to demonstrate an activity or give an opportunity for parents to talk.

Although isolation in the hills o f southern Madison County is not as big a problem today as it was thirty years ago, the isolation o f a parent trying to meet the needs o f a young family on an extremely limited Volunteer Sandy Galley (right) visits with Kristen Maria Cromer and her mom, Teresa. Teresa budget is a definite reality. has other children in the Sunshine Center, the CAP child development center in Lancaster.

Getting someplace—the grocery store, the health department—is not an easy task. When volunteers went Although their pre-schoolers were into the homes to visit with parents, more served by CA P’S child development center, than one family need was being met. few services were available to parents w ho Parents discovered a friendly person with also had infants and toddlers. Social whom to talk, share frustrations, and from workers periodically asked the program whom to learn. managers if they could take a child younger than three. Needs assessments that surveyed local agencies and other service providers overwhelm ingly pointed to the lack o f early intervention programs.

Adding an infant/toddler com ponent o f any sort to the well-established child development programs would not be an easy (or inexpensive!) task.

The reality o f today’s “Infant and Toddler: Parent Connections” com ponent in four CAP child development centers started w ith a proposal written by Teri Mehler as an assignment for a master’s level class that she was taking. Grants were sought, but nothing came through.

This com ponent was just too important to let lack o f funding get in the w ay, though.

As w ith many good ideas in CAP, creativity and the help o f volunteers turned desire into reality and the infant/toddler com po­ nent was bom .

A temporary volunteer from Minnesota landed at the CAP Child Development Center in Berea, bringing along her education and experience as an early interventionist. Brenda Varney helped put a framework to the program’s first infant/ toddler com ponent. Working w ith a

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The home visit format targets both the parent and the child. As Teri explains, “We operate under the assumption that when a parent is helped in some way, the child is also better o ff.”

As long as the volunteers remain open and flexible, that help might come in many forms. It may consist o f referring a family to the local food bank if food is needed, or taking a parent and child to get a physical examination if scheduling and transporta­ tion have been a problem. Where ex­ tremely inadequate housing gets in the way o f appropriate parenting, a volunteer may find herself helping a family contact Housing and Urban Development. Along with these basic needs, the volunteers model and teach appropriate parent-child interactions and sound child development principles. When parents learn what to expect out o f their eight-month-old baby and their three-year-old child, better decisions can be made.

The infant/toddler home visits at the Berea center served as a pilot program for CAP’S other child development centers.

The Eagle Child Development Center in

The M ountain Spirit

McCreary County jumped in next with a similar addition to their services for families. Jean Barnes, program manager at Eagle, had been amazed at the number of families they were working with that had younger siblings. The extent o f the problems that families were facing with so few resources prompted Jean to move ahead with an infant/toddler component.

Once again, a volunteer and a shared vehicle got the program rolling. By focusing on younger siblings, Jean and her staff were able to extend the time that they could work with one family and increase the probability o f making a lasting, favorable difference. Established now was the potential to work with a family for five years or more.

In a budget that could not be increased, child development program managers were figuring out how they could add this important component to their program.

Joyce Harvey, manager o f the Family Life Child Development Center in Rockcastle County made some staff changes so a person would be available to do infant/ toddler home visits. Since most volunteers serve in a pro­ gram for only one or two years, Joyce sees the potential for more stability by using an employee in the position.

Familiarity with the community and its resources is an additional bonus.

The Sunshine Center in Lancaster is into its second year of working with the parents o f infants and toddlers.

Volunteers who work in this position are called upon to be adaptable, flexible, and nonjudgmental— sometimes to the extreme. When they come to the Christian Appala­ chian Project

from all different parts o f the country, volunteers have to learn about develop­ mental levels and appropriate parenting, and also must realize what cultural aspects o f their own they need to let go o f and which ones from the Appalachian region they need to absorb.

In Berea, the Infant and Toddler Parent Connections program is in its fourth year.

While the core components o f the pro­ gram remain the same, a few changes have been made possible with the additional space a new building provided. The program now combines home visitation and gatherings in the center, which allows children and parents to interact with others. While several infants are being cared for by one volunteer, another volunteer can conduct a parent class that focuses on topics such as guidance and discipline, safety, or children and parents’ self-esteem. Parents may be participating in a session on activities that promote language development, and end up with several different story-telling props to take home. One session featured a speaker on children’s health issues while another gave parents an opportunity to make toys.

Parent Connection workers bring age appropriate toys along on their visits, and also show moms how to make toysfrom items that can befound around the house.

Jan u ary - February 1994

places. State social workers, family doctors, school psychologists and partici­ pating families have all referred people to the program. No recruiting has had to be done to enroll over twenty families currently being served by Berea’s infant/ toddler component.

Since this component has been around for awhile now, the child development program has several three- and four-yearolds enrolled who were a part o f the infant/toddler program. One o f the very first moms to participate in the infant/ toddler program has a three-year-old in the center. “That mom feels very comfortable with both the staff and the facility," Teri says. Mothers whose children are enrolled in the infant/toddler program move easily into working in the center when their children turn three and start attending the center program regularly. The expectation o f working in the center is in place, and parents are already familiar with the center. This is true of the children also— they can’t wait to get to be a part o f the center every day! Long before coming to the center as a three-year-old, they know the staff, the building, the bus.

At three months o f age, Kristen Maria is grasping at toys, but smiling is what she does best!

Each year, the materials and resources available to the program participants have grown through toy donations from parents, yard sale purchases, and monetary gifts. Although the volunteers often bring toys w ith them on home visits, the empha­ sis is always put on using things found in the hom e. Teri emphasizes the point that a lot o f w hat goes on in a home visit is parent-driven.

“W e don’t try to impose a set o f needs on parents. W e deal w ith what they want at that particular time. The volunteers work daily w ith the appropriate agencies.

Whatever the community resources, or w hoever else is working w ith a fam ily, w e work cooperatively to help meet a parent’s needs. Our program is not assessmentbased. What good does it do to teach some exercises to do w ith a baby when mom is facing possible eviction or gas shut-off?”

W hile there is still a focus on working w ith younger siblings o f enrolled threeand four-year-olds, about one half o f the volunteers’ caseload is referred from other

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This comfort level on the part o f chil­ dren and parents has paid o ff in other ways, too. Parents are taking advantage of other programs that CAP has to offer. Ten parents involved in the infant/toddler program are also enrolled in the GED program. Two families are receiving family counseling at the center.

Brenda Riddle, assistant director of human development, is enthusiastic about the accomplishments o f the work that has been done with infants and toddlers. The program enables CAP workers to become involved with families very early, often encouraging adult education or other types o f development.

“This is a program o f the future; it’s about the future,” Brenda says. “W e’re recognizing the family as the main caregiver, and when we empower that role and help with parenting skills, we em­ power the children’s future.”

While operating a program o f this caliber with borrowed vehicles, used toys, multi­ use space, and annual changes in staff may not be the ideal, there are plenty o f parents who would attest to the fact that the Infant and Toddler: Parent Connections program has been the best thing to come along since, well, since the birth o f their baby!

The M ountain Spirit

Letters to the Editor I truly enjoy your issues o f The M ountain Spirit and always pass them on to my nephew , w ho spent one o f his college summers working to help the people o f Appalachia. It is indeed a pleasure to hear the good that com es from our donations. Best wishes to all you good people.

M ildred Burt Montrose, M I

I have been receiving your magazine for approximately five years and I usually read it from cover to cover on the day it arrives. I enjoy following the development of your self help projects and reading about the achievements o f individuals in the community. You are a constant reminder of the power of prayer and perseverance.

Lynne Sisk Saratoga Springs, N Y

God bless you and the people of CAP. The Christian Appalachian Project is the only place I know of where the dollar is well spent.

You have given so much hope and help mentally, spiritually and physically to your people. Helping people up out of hopelessness, to give them the courage to plan on the future.

We pray, dear Father Beiting, that God will continue to give you good health and wisdom and long life to continue with serving His people in all capacities o f life.

Sure wish you were the presi­ dent o f the United States. In my opinion you rate right up there with Mother Teresa.

God bless you.

Virginia M. Field

Jan u ary - February 1994

My heart goes out to all those helping the brethren of Appala­ chia. In these last days which require fortitude of spirit, be encouraged to know that our Heavenly Father sees all the giving and loving helping hands in this great work amongst men. It does not go unnoticed and He will reward in His own good time. You are an extension of God’s loving arm!

God bless you richly and may those who receive of your efforts he comforted and warmed by His grace.

Je n n y B. Deaton Houston, TX

It is a very heartwarming magazine. I especially like the pictures. I was bom just over the mountain in West Virginia back in 1915. My father was a coal miner and we lived in a mining camp.

It’s wonderful to see college men and women helping down there.

God bless you.

Ruth M. M cGarry Toledo, OH

I read The M ountain Spirit from cover to cover and find it very interesting.

I thank God for a caring people like you and hope you will continue the good work. You are in my prayers.

Cynthia A. Dow ney Ham ilton, OH Your articles are excellentinformative and insightful. Keep up the good work!

Jo h n G. Arm istead Springfield, VA

God bless Father Beiting and the people o f Appalachia. I have been a subscriber for many years and it wouldn’t seem right not to have a copy of The M ountain Spirit in my home. I met Father Beiting a few years ago—quite by accident— at St. Joseph Church in Cold Springs, Kentucky, at the Sunday Mass. Meeting him was the highlight o f my visit!

Ruth Denham M iam i, FL The M ountain Spirit is very well written and so interesting. I thoroughly enjoy it.

It is wonderful to feel the love and caring that is exhibited by your CAP staff and volunteers.

God is surely working among the poor o f Appalachia!

Helen B. Dawson Southold, N Y I am so glad you remind me when my M ountain Spirit subscription needs renewing. The stories in the magazine are wonderful. They tell me there are many professing Christians in this world practicing stewardship as the Lord would have us do. I would not want to miss any of the sad sometimes, but even so very beautiful stories o f the people in the Appalachian region. I feel when I read theses stories that I know these people; and their needs, I can understand much better.

H ilde E. Em enheiser Dallastow n, PA Letters to the editor are welcome.

They should not exceed 150 words in length, and we reserve the right to edit them fo r space.

Address letters to The Mountain Spirit, Christian Appalachian Project, J2 2 Crab Orchard Road, Lancaster, K Y 40446.

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-------Around the Project-------Fam ily Life Child Development Receives Accreditation move into this area and they’re here for the whole year. It’s hard, but we can always make room for them because we have morning and afternoon sessions. In fact, that’s why we decided to have two sessions, so we can make room for a child that needs us.”

The NAECP developed accredi­ tation standards over a three-year period with input from approxi­ mately 200 educators and adminis­ trators from around the country.

The accreditation is intended to assure high quality early child­ hood education programs.

C O R S A lf

Family Life Child Development, the Christian Appalachian Project child development center in Rockcastle County, recently received accreditation from the National Academy o f Early Child­ hood Programs (NAECP), the accrediting arm o f the National Association for the Education o f Young Children.

It is the second CAP child development center to receive national accreditation.

In order to meet accreditation standards, Joyce Harvey, manager of the center, and her staff complied with a variety o f strict criteria which included provision o f activities appropriate for pre­ schoolers; staff training; an adequate number o f staff for the number o f children enrolled; stringent health and safety standards; and opportunities for parental involvement. The accredi­ tation process included an on-site study o f the program and review by a three-member national committee. “They’re experts in the field o f early childhood education,” said Joyce.

Family Life Child Development coordinates its program with the Kentucky River Foothills Headstart program and collaborates with the Rockcastle County school system to provide services for children with disabilities. “And we’re the only program for three- and fouryear-olds outside o f the school system, so w e’re the only one offering a curriculum with a Christian aspect,” Joyce said.

Because o f its proximity to Family Life Services, the child development center often accepts children who are temporarily housed in residential programs.

“We treat them like they’re going to be there for the year,” Joyce said. “Sometimes they’re only here for two days, but sometimes they

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The Family Life Child Development Center in Mount Vernon provides pre-school education to three- andfour-year-olds. It is one o f six centers operated by CAP.

Longtim e C A P W orker R etires In the fall o f 1993 Coleen Carrier retired after 19 years with Christian Appalachian Project as manager o f the Lancaster Attic.

Coleen’s country charm is the cornerstone for the memories of many former CAP volunteers who have known her over the years.

Coleen thanks a neighbor 19 years ago for recommending her for a job to Father Ralph Beiting, CAP’S founder, after she told the neighbor she was tired o f milking twelve cows twice a day.

Mike McLaughlin, CAP presi­ dent, says “Coleen has been a very special member o f the CAP family for nearly 20 years. Her commit­ ment to her work and her willing­ ness to serve have been key

ingredients to the life o f the Lancaster Attic. She will be deeply missed.”

Assistant director o f human development Jim Morris says, “When I think o f Coleen Carrier my thoughts turn to those o f us who are relatively new at CAP. W e, o f course, will miss her, for she has trained us and led us by her example. It is the ‘Coleens’ of CAP that show many o f us what is expected in CAP service. We who remain will continue to try to live up to her standard and I wish her only the best in retirement.”

With Coleen’s retirement, the Lancaster Attic, one o f CAP’S first programs, will merge with the Stanford Attic in Lincoln County.

The M ountain Spiri

around the project. . . continued Fam ily L ife Center A p p roved A s G E D Testing Site Two times each month stu­ dents at the Christian Appalachian Project Adult Learning Center have an opportunity to take General Equivalency Diploma tests at the Family Life Center Recre­ ation Hall. “They really love it,” says Rosemary Draeger, adminis­ trative assistant for the center.

“There’s less pressure; it’s more relaxing than going up to EKU [Eastern Kentucky University].”

In the year since testing has been going on at Family Life Center, over 200 people have tested on site, with 120 graduating and receiving a GED. The recreation building, which is adjacent to the learning center, was approved by a state examiner as a testing site. Tests are adminis­ tered by staff from the Laurel County Vocational Technical School, according to George Isaacs, a learning center staff teacher.

“They feel more comfortable here, and they like the conve­ nience,” George said. “A lot o f our students don’t have transportation

out o f the county, especially our School on Wheels and JOBS students. W e’ve had an eighty-one percent increase in the number o f graduates since we started testing here.”

The building was assessed for its accessibility to persons with disabilities and to make sure that it had adequate light before it was approved. “And they checked for the security o f the test itself. We had to have cabinets with locks, things like that,” George said.

Staff has been publicizing the testing site, and School on Wheels students from southern Madison, Garrard and Lincoln counties, in addition to those from Rockcastle County, have taken advantage of the less stressful setting.

“It’s been a tremendous boost to our program and to adult education in Rockcastle County,” George said. “Some o f our students wouldn’t have taken the test if we hadn’t been here. It’s the best thing we’ve done in a long time as far as serving our students.”

What Can I do to Help CAP? CAP supporters often ask what more they can do to eliminate suffering in Appalachia. First, you can tell others o f the problems in Appalachia which you learn about in The M ountain Spirit and other CAP publications. Please share this magazine with a friend and we’ll send a replacement. Ask us about any o f the problems in Appalachia and w e’ll be happy to share any knowledge we have or to refer you to another organiza­ tion that can help you.

Christian Appalachian Project is a participating agency in the Com bined Federal Cam ­ paign. Federal and m ilitary em ployees can contribute to CAP by designating #0898 on the CFCpledge card.

Jan u ary - February 1994

Gift Annuities

A gift annuity to the Christian Appalachian Project will help us continue to provide employ­ ment opportunities to Appala­ chian people. This activity is an essential part of our mission to help people help themselves.

But, what is a gift annuity? It's a legal agreement by which you make a gift to CA P and receive a guaranteed life income in re­ turn.

Secondly, you can give us a most valuable commodity—time.

Since 1950, millions o f hours have been donated to helping the people of Appalachia help themselves out of poverty. If you would like to volunteer three weeks or more to work in Appala­ chia, contact The M ountain Spirit and we’ll pass the information to the volunteer office.

For a more complete expla­ nation, write today for your free copy of "Giving Through Gift Annuities" by filling out the cou­ pon below and enclosing it in the envelope provided.

Finally, our most powerful form o f assistance is prayer. We believe that if our supporters spend at least one minute a day praying for poor people everywhere, moun­ tains can be moved, the course of rivers changed. The CAP family forms a powerful prayer network reaching into Appalachia and across the nation.

N a m e _____________________________

Christian Appalachian Project 322 Crab Orchard Road Lancaster, Kentucky 40446 C lip and send

Address___________________________ C it y -------------------------------State, Z IP ______________________ __ Date of Birth ____________________ T e le p h o n e ------------------------

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--------- around the project. . . continued-----------

Volunteer Houses O pen in Two Counties Three Volunteers Move to House in Martin County For a year volunteers in the Louisa com munity traveled to Inez, Kentucky, to serve the people o f Martin County. In September o f 1993, the Christian Appalachian Project was able to open a house for those volunteers.

“To really serve the people here w e need to live in their m idst,” said Kristen K opp. Kristen has been a CAP volunteer since April o f ’93- She and tw o other volun­ teers work w ith elderly people in the county and have opened an outreach office.

“W e have an A ttic opening Decem ber 1 and w e hope to have volunteers for hom e repair and a youth center,” Kristen said.

CAP distributed about tw o dozen Christmas baskets in Martin County this year and donated food and gifts w hich were distributed through the Martin County Ministerial Association.

Attention Retirees!

If you are a CA P donor, or are considering becoming one, you may be eligible to double your gift through your past employer's matching gift program.

Many companies today match monetary support to non-profit community service organizations that are sup­ ported by their past and present employees.

Please write for your bro­ chure "Double Your Dollars," which lists participating companies and instructions.

Send correspondence to Teresa McAnly, CAP, 322 Crab Orchard Road, Lancaster, KY 40446.

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The volunteer quarters in Martin County currently houses three volunteers and has spacefor seven

Somerset Volunteers Relocate in Whitley City After more than a dozen years in Somerset, Christian Appalachian Project volunteers are leaving rental life in Pulaski County for a house in M cCreary County. Father Carroll Ilow lin, a priest from the Diocese o f Jo liet, Illinois, w ho has been working in the county since 1976, offered a W hitley City house, rent free, to the CAP volunteer program.

According to Moe Mercier, senior director o f human develop­ ment, plans were in place to move the volunteers, but he didn’t expect a move this soon. He was in contact w ith Father Howlin

because o f a grant proposal and plans to move W orkfest '94 to M cCreary County. During a conversation, Moe discovered that Father How lin had a half-finished building on his property.

Father How lin hired workers to finish the house w hich the volunteers moved into in the fall o f ’93- The volunteers in M cCreary County work in child develop­ ment and adult education, as w ell as the Children’s Discovery Center and CAPRICE in Somerset. CAP hopes to expand into other areas o f need, possibly hom e repair and outreach.

Christmas Basket Distribution Successful The Christmas basket program had another successful year in 1993- Despite some tough times in other parts o f the country, the Christian Appalachian Project Christmas basket sponsors came through again. Baskets were distributed to 2929 families and elderly people in eleven counties.

In addition to the baskets o f food and gifts that families received, forty Christmas grants were made, according to Bev Potter, manager o f CA P’S out­ reach programs. Supplementary food, gifts and other items from

Operation Sharing are given to organizations that operate Christmas programs in counties outside CA P’S immediate service area.

Respecting the wishes o f deceased loved ones or in honor o f them , families often request that memorials be sent to us. Memorial gifts live on to benefit others.

Many also specify memorial gifts in their w ills. Any size gift is w elcom e. Contact us for more information.

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around the project. . . continued Operation Sharing Receives Computer Johnny Thompson, acquisition coordinator for Operation Sharing, recently received a letter from Rosemary Dreager, adminis­ trative assistant for the Christian Appalachian Project Adult Learning Center.

“We have over 300 students seeking their GED and 38 students in our literacy course seeking to better themselves. This great number o f students along with 12 teachers is a large work load . . .

“Since we are interested in helping our students to get into the workforce after they get the GED, having a computer for them is so important. Also, there are many great teaching ‘tools’ in the GED software that can help a student become computer literate while they study for the GED .”

Johnny passed the request along to Lexmark International in Lexington, and received this reply. “I have reviewed your request for the Adult Education program and I am delighted to say that Lexmark does have a surplus IBM PC AT that we can donate.

We hope this in-kind donation will help the good work done by the Christian Appalachian Project. . . ” Lexmark also contributed several 16mm projectors, accord­ ing to Johnny.

Moving?

Please notify us of any change of address to make sure you receive every issue of The Mountain Spirit please print

OLD ADDRESS name

address

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su te

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Operation Sharing, GAP’s inkind donation program, has been the recipient o f many items, including books, seeds, office supplies and furniture, which are used in CAP programs, and are shared with other service organi­ zations in Appalachia, as well.

address

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Mail to: The Mountain Spirit, 322 Crab Orchard Road, Lancaster, Kentucky 40446.

C h ild D e v e lo p m e n t C e n te r O p en s in M a g o ffin C o u n ty The Christian Appalachian Project’s sixth child development center opened in mid-October in Magoffin County. Fifteen children are enrolled in the program, and center manager Sylvia Robinette hopes to enroll fifteen more.

participation is an integral part of the program. “We have a lot o f participation from moms,” Sylvia said. “They watch the kids on the playground, help with clean-up.

We want them to be involved and to feel at ease.”

“We had the usual crying on the first day,” Sylvia said. “The hardest thing is separation, but no child cried all day. We had so many things to do they didn’t have time to cry! ”

Sylvia plans to begin a parenting program after the holidays,

encouraging parents to become even more involved with their children’s education. “Every day we send things home, things that the children have made, so they can see what they’re doing here.

Parents are beginning to see the benefits o f a better education, o f giving children a better start,” Sylvia said.

Sylvia said that because there is so little familiarity with child development in Magoffin County, some o f the mothers were reluctant to enroll their children.

“For our first two weeks we had orientation, with the parents and children coming together, so that the parents and children could decide if they wanted to continue.

From the first day, all but two children stayed in the program.”

As with CAP’S other child development centers, family

Jan u ary - February 1993

Sylvia Robinette, manager o f the Magoffin Child Development Center, proudly displays the artwork o f Ann Shepherd. Ann works at the Teen and Youth Center in Martin, which has also been graced by her talent

13

The CAP Closeup

Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire ...

Ken Kinley and his wife, Cathie, aformer CAP volunteer. er traveling overseas and all over the United States with the Air Force, Ken Kinley came home to Appalachia and became a CAP volunteer. His enthusiasm for CAP and CAP’S work is spreading.

Actually, he’s spreading it himself.

Ken began to think about volunteering as he considered what direction to take his life after a 28-year career as an Air Force chapel manager. Ken decided he wanted to volunteer in the United States, and asked some former volunteers about CAP. “When I called here, they gave me a pretty good idea of what CAP was, but I still didn’t have a picture of everything, o f the scope of everything CAP does.”

Ken, who grew up in Pitts­ burgh, says that before coming to CAP he knew nothing of Appala­ chia. “Only what I’d read in books. I didn’t even know that I’d

♦ 14

been raised in the Appalachians. I saw something on television about Appalachia, but it didn’t mean that much to me. It was some­ thing that was happening some­ where else.

ence o f ten years as a pastor in Florida to work in a CAP outreach program. “In outreach I talked to people one-on-one to see where we could go with those problems, and how we could help them .”

“That it was something going on in the United States really grabbed me about the Christian Appala­ chian Project,” Ken says. “Being in the military and traveling all over the world like I have, I felt we needed to clean up our own backyard. When I read about the Appalachian situation, I began to realize that that’s a situation I needed to get involved with, because they were my people, as far as that was concerned.

Ken’s years in the Air Forcefifteen on active duty—gave him a wealth o f experience to share with CAP. “I came to CAP with a pluralistic view o f people from different faith groups. It made me able to work with people and not be worried about theology. I look at people and know that, some­ how, they have a relationship with God, and I accept that. I learned that in the military. You accept people, not because they’re Baptist, Methodist or Catholic, you accept them because they’re people. However they develop their relationship with God allows them to be a part o f the community without all the other stuff that we add to it a lot o f times.”

“Prior to that, we had been talking in our chapels about doing mission work. That’s always been a part of chapel programs.”

When he came to CAP as a volunteer, Ken used his experi­

Story and Photos by Margaret Gabriel ♦ The M ountain Spirit

Ken Kinley Ken’s broad-based acceptance of people and his ability to see the good in those he meets qualified him to move out o f CAP’S out­ reach program in Casey County and into its volunteer recruiting office. “CAP had been doing some recruiting, but it hadn’t been on a good, on-going basis. I told Moe [Mercier, CAP’S senior director of human development] that I’d be here as long as they needed me, and he was looking for someone who could make that kind of commitment. He was looking for someone who could get into the Protestant side o f the house, as we call it in the military, because for so long so many of our volunteers had been Catholic. Traditionally, our word-of-mouth has been much more extensive among Catholic people.”

thing about being with CAP, from my perspective, is that the people are here because they want to be here. With the staff people, and especially the volunteers, they really want to be here. It’s not a matter of being locked into a job because there are bills to pay. By being here they’re saying that money’s not the most important thing; I’m doing something to help people help themselves.

Ken says that as a volunteer recruiter he will be able to make contact with people who will be interested in volunteering and in taking advantage o f the unique perspectives that one gains from living as a volunteer. “The best

Ken thinks that there will always be more positions than volunteers to fill them, but the greater number of volunteers will allow CAP to expand its work in several counties. And as long as there’s work to be done, Ken feels

As a result of Ken’s efforts in recruiting, CAP is seeing a surge in the number of permanent volun­ teers that has been unequaled at any time in its history. “W e’re going to stop at a hundred,” Ken said. “It’ll go over once in a while, and under once in a while, but that will be the guideline for now .”

confident that he will be able to find people to pitch in.

“I just put ads in all the military newspapers, the Navy Times, the Army Times and the Air Force Times, for volunteers. I don’t think w e’ve even touched the surface of all the young people whose parents are in the military who could come here and be volunteers. They’ve got a wealth of knowledge from traveling all over the w orld.”

Despite the great amount of time that Ken spends on the road now, telling CAP’S story to prospective volunteers, he found time in December to marry Cathie Baily, “a great lady," he says. “I look in the mirror in the morning and say, if that woman cares that much about you, there’s some­ thing good going on.” And he smiles.

“All kidding aside, of all the places I’ve been, I’ve traveled extensively with the Air Force and I haven’t seen a program any better than this.”

W ith testimony like that from the recruiter, is it any wonder that volunteers are clamor­ ing to get in?

Ken framed this quote and mounted it on his office wall, saying that the philosophy has served him well during his years with the Air Force, and with CAP.

Jan u ary - February 1994

15

Gmuiug Up Ufiih

CAP

DOTSON

CAP to

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eauly lakm in Ike young people wke ume involved in ito

4- b y Beth D otson -4 16

The M ountain Spirit

11 happens occasionally in Lancaster. Christian Appalachian Project employee Kathleen Leavell will be at the grocery store and a handsome young man will smile and ask her if she remembers him. It’s been several years, and many inches ago, since she knew the young man so she can’t recall his name. But he’s there in her memory as one o f the children she taught at CAP’S Sunshine Center.

Sometimes she sees news o f her former students in the newspaper. Someone was married. Another won a Governor’s Scholar award. After teaching at the Sunshine Center (one o f CAP’S six child development centers) for nine years, Kathleen knows many o f Lancaster’s young people and she can smile on the responsi­ bility they are now showing toward their community and the region.

Two o f those young adults are now working for CAP. Lee Ann West and Greg Burnside w ere both students at the Sunshine Center. Their mothers were single and working, so they needed help with child care during the day. During those early days o f the Sunshine Center, the program provided day care in addition to the early childhood education which it still provides today. From those early acquaintances with CAP, Lee Ann and Greg also attended Bible schools and summer camp at Camp Andrew Jackson. Now, they’re giving something back.

“The sentence that we said to those kids more than any other sentence, was ‘You can change things, you can make things happen.’ That was our byline. I bet we said it a thousand times to each kid,” recalls Kathleen. Lee Ann and Greg seem to have remembered that over the years. “They believe in themselves and their ability to make things happen,” Kathleen says.

Although Lee Ann says she doesn’t remember much about her days at the Sunshine Center, she left a definite impression on Kathleen. “She was a sweetheart,” Kathleen recalls with a smile and a laugh, describing the little Lee Ann as someone who could put the boys in their place and do her work well.

Lee Ann’s family also left a pleasant picture with Kathleen. She remembers Lee Ann’s grandmother, Marie W est, as a woman who stood for a high level of integrity and values. And Lee Ann’s mother, although she was a struggling working woman, always dropped o ff a Ja n u a ry - February 1994

clean and neat child who was wellbehaved and obviously grounded in good family values.

Greg’s memories o f the Sunshine Center are a bit more vivid than Lee Ann’s, especially when he talks about his time on the playground. “We used to have fun, especially at recess when we would run around on the boat,” Greg recalls. The boat was a cabin cruiser that volunteer Ric O ’Connell and Father Beiting delivered to the playground. The staff turned it into a climber and fort for the children.

Today, Greg recognizes the value o f the education he received at the Sunshine Center. “I was probably ahead of some of the students because o f it,” he says, recalling lessons that helped him learn his colors and numbers. If a parent asked his advice today about sending a child to the center, he wouldn’t hesitate to recom­ mend it. To Greg, this CAP program is especially important in light o f the Kentucky Education Reform Act, which, among other things, recognizes the importance o f early childhood education.

Greg’s association with CAP didn’t stop when he left the Sunshine Center for the first grade. At Bible school and Camp AJ, he continued to grow in values that would shape his life. He remembers learning Bible verses and doing crafts at Bible school. He also recollects being away from home for the first time when he went to Camp AJ. “The first time going, I cried a couple of days because it was my first time being away. After I got used to it, I started having fun,” Greg says. He remembers making new friends and enjoying the crazy antics of some o f the counselors. Greg also recounts an overnight excursion an a houseboat with fellow campers. It was just one of the new experiences to which CAP introduced the young Greg.

For Lee Ann, Camp AJ was also her first experience away from home. “I think it’s really good to be away from your parents because it teaches you how to make friends and survive on your own. I was always real close to my mom and going to camp was hard because I missed her, but it taught me how to be away from her.

You’ll always miss your parents no matter w hat.”

“She spent a lot o f her free time at home with her mom. They were very family

17

Massachusetts ready to use her newfound knowledge. She discovered the children could teach her as her college courses had not."They (the children) taught me humility first of all. They taught me I wasn’t anywhere near as smart as I thought I was, in such a loving, beautiful w ay,” Kathleen says with a laugh. “I think they taught me the difference between theory and real life, and . . . they loved m e.”

Kathleen still works w ith CA P, now as program manager for Parents Are Teach­ ers, CA P’S homebound program for children w ith disabilities. Lee Ann and Greg also came back to CA P , this time as em ployees, after continuing their educa­ tion beyond high school. Both work in the Information Systems department.

Greg (urith his back to the camera) playing at the Sunshine Center. 7 know it’s me because o f the hair, ” Greg says. oriented,” Kathleen says about Lee Ann. She thinks that helped Lee Ann avoid some o f the peer pressure that leads so many adolescents into trouble.

Once when she was 12 or 13 years-old and out o f school for the day, Lee Ann called the Sunshine Center to ask if she could help out for a while. Kathleen recalls that when Lee Ann arrived, lunch was finished and it was nap time. “She went into some kind o f reflexive behavior,” Kathleen describes, talking about how Lee Ann immediately put the cots out then sat next to a child on a cot and began to pray for that child, as her teachers had prayed for her.

For Kathleen, that was the first time she realized that some o f what she did instinc­ tively and routinely, rather than from a lesson plan, had taught the children. “It wasn’t something we consciously taught them. And yet, to see her take on this role knowing that was exactly what she should do made me realize that they are passing on far more than we would ever dream that they would. Certainly more than the developmental things that we accom­ plished.”

As the children learned, so did Kathleen.

When she arrived at CAP to volunteer in 1976, she was a college graduate from

Lee Ann learned some o f her office skills while attending Sullivan Business College in Lexington. She says she enjoyed being in Lexington, a place where she didn’t have to drive a long way to find something to do, as happens in Lancaster. But for now, she’s staying in Lancaster and is unsure about her future, although at some point she wants to return to school and learn more about computers.

Lee Ann handles donations and reads letters that arrive from donors. “There are some people, they give their last dollar to CAP because they want to help some­ body,” she says. Older people, she has noticed, “always have a good heart to help” even if they’re sick.

“It’s like they don’t have that much money themselves, but they want to help somebody else. You think your problems are big, but when you hear their problems you realize yours are nothing compared to theirs.”

Lee Ann hasn’t seen

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DOTSON

much o f CAP’S work outside Garrard County, but she wants to learn more about CAP as she continues to offer her talents to the organiza­ tion. “I hope CAP continues to grow and can always help people. And I hope that it will always be a Christian organization,” Lee Ann says.

Greg’s familiarity with CAP is also through the Garrard County programs. He moved to neighboring Madison County after high school graduation to attend Berea College. One o f the things he enjoyed about that experi­ ence was meeting people from so many places. “You talk about meeting people in CAP, when you get to college you really meet people from all over, like Alabama and all over the United States.”

Greg chats with longtime CAP employee Mary Frances Leavell, data entry coordinator.

Although he hasn’t yet earned his degree, Greg still hopes to finish college so he can teach. “I’ll probably go back to school and get a degree in teaching. I like playing with the little kids.”

think they’re crazy, they do know a little something. Respect your elders, and if you have a chance to better yourself go for it.

All you can do is come back to where you were and start over again.”

It’s no wonder, then that if you wander into Greg’s Lancaster neighborhood, you’re likely to see him playing football or basketball with the neighborhood children. He’s aware o f the difficulties young people face and would advise them: “Listen to your parents. Even though you might

Kathleen compliments Greg, Lee Ann, and other Sunshine Center graduates.

“They have a sense o f responsibility about them. They have some sense o f pride and ownership in their community. Each of them in their own way has been involved in helping youth . . . they want to give back what’s been given to them. They’re so full o f hope.”

Greg and Lee Ann join Tammy Sears and Dana Sanchez in a break from their duties in CAP’S information systems department.

Jan u ary - February 1994

Although Kathleen calls Greg and Lee Ann “living proof” that a donor’s invest­ ment in CAP pays off, she also acknowl­ edges that much o f the hope and strength o f these two young people come from their families. “Both o f them are from very strong families with strong family values, so we can’t claim any more than a small percent o f the values these kids have.”

Regardless of where their talents and values come from, both Lee Ann and Greg will continue to strengthen CAP, and the Lancaster community. Kathleen predicts: “I do think the confidence they will pass on to the next generation will be a great gift as w ell.” ft

Connecting with the Holy Family jC Jilth o u g h this is the Ja n u ­ ary issue o/The Mountain Spirit, m ost o f ou r readers receive it during the Christm as season.

We thin k, then, that it is fittin g to share this story fro m “The Bridge, ” a CA P new sletter that circulates to fa m ilie s in volved in program s that serve people w ith disabilities.

A silent and holy night. . . a young mother and father kneeling reverently and silently by their infant, who is swaddled snugly in a manger, sleeping in heavenly peace. This treasured image of Christmas brings to mind a sense o f perfect peace, a holy serenity set apart from the world. The story o f this family might seem very far removed from the reality of our own lives, particularly from the reality o f families dealing with the challenges o f disabilities.

Yet, this season calls us to look at this family, and reflect on how they connect with us. How do we relate to them?

Would Mary and Joseph know what it is like to endure a traumatic birth experi­ ence? Would they remember the panic of not being able to find shelter? Would they recall feelings o f loneliness and isolation?

Would they remember feeling inadequate

♦ by Kathleen Leavell, Ina Faye Price ♦ and Sarah Sheckel 20

and afraid, knowing they would never be ordinary parents because this child would never be “normal"?

“I remember feeling like that,” recalls Janice Brock. “Jessie was bom in a field on the way to the hospital so I guess I remem­ ber the panic. And I remember how the doctors at the hospital tried to make me feel inadequate. They told me I couldn’t take care o f Jessie because she was mentally retarded and that she would be better off in an institution. But I said, ‘no, this is my child and we will take her home and do the best we can.’”

If Mary was to sit in the supportive presence o f other parents who “have been there,” she might tell o f that first day at the temple, when she proudly presented her firstborn to the elders. Surely she antici­ pated their affirmation o f this beautiful child and the joy-filled life ahead o f them, then was stunned with the unwelcome words: “A sword shall pierce your soul!”

“I remember that feeling o f devastation,” said Barbara Pittman as she recalled the unwelcome words o f Nathan’s doctor. “I remember absolute anger. It was so deep it was more like hate. It hurt every bone in my body. I hated the doctors, I hated the nurses and I hated myself. And, you know, I even hated God. I know that sounds awful but I did. I couldn’t understand why He let me down. And then I felt guilty for hating Him and scared that He might hate me back for feeling that way. O f course, now I thank God every day for Nathan.

With all the severity o f his delays, he is the most precious gift God has ever given to me. But, I think I know how Mary must have felt walking away from the temple knowing she would be denied the dream she thought she would have.”

Louise Lynch connects with the loss of parental expectations when she remem­ bers the experience o f Mary and Joseph losing Jesus in the temple and being told by their son, “Did you not realize I must be about my Father’s business?”

“Mary knew right then that it would not be easy for Jesus. W e, as the parents o f a child with Down Syndrome, know the same thing. We know that our son is different, but it seems to be a lot harder for society to accept this difference than it is for the parents. Mary never abandoned

The M ountain Spirit

Jesus, it was society. We parents continu­ ally support and advocate for our children both spiritually and physically but we often find that it is not parents’ perceptions, child perceptions or even the disability itself that places limitations on our chil­ dren as much as the perceptions of society.”

Connecting their story with that o f the Holy Family was a new experience for the deForests. Carroll recalled the passages that read: “Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” and “He grew in wisdom, strength and stature,” and related them to his daughter. “As Sherry grows, we ponder what she thinks because she can’t tell us. We know that she loves life and enjoys life just as much as every­ body.”

His w ife, Betty drew her own parallel with the life of the Holy Family. “Just as Jesus had a set purpose, so does Sherry.

People are sometimes frightened of Sherry because she’s different. Mary had to accept Jesus as he was. As parents of a child with a disability, we had to accept Sherry as the individual she is. No more. No less.”

Pat Henderson can connect easily with Mary’s faith when she reflects on her twenty-two years with her daughter, Jane, who has mental disabilities. “Walking in faith has carried me through and got me through a lot, and it still does. I took (her) straight out of the bassinet into church and the church members have been a great support to me. I know I can still call on them today.”

And what was all of this like for Joseph?

Did he struggle with feelings o f anger, fear and hurt? Did he know the immeasurable pride of raising a child who could touch those around him as no one else ever could?

Bill Lynch describes a challenging faith experience when he remembers his son’s heart surgery. “My w ife, Louise, and I approached this from two different perspectives. I went into it with very little faith or optimism. Zane nearly died before he was even bom . Then he was bom with Down Syndrome and needed heart surgery.

I was very, very angry. But my experience at Kosair Hospital was one o f the few things in my life that really connected me with hope. The caliber o f medical experJa n u a ry - February 1994

tise, combined with the resilience o f the children and the hope o f the parents, made me realize that although Zane was given a zero chance o f survival I had reason to hope. Louise never doubted God’s hand in this. Like Mary, she turned our son over to God. It was her faith that carried all three of us through the surgery and into the wonderful life we have together today.”

Connie Maddox and Elsie Troxell empathize with Mary at the foot o f the cross. “There is no hurt like watching your child hurt, when you can’t do anything to help,” said Connie o f the hard days. Elsie connected with the hope of the Resurrec­ tion. “I know there is hope for us.”

Ina Faye Price remembers her two years and eight months with her daughter, Tania Faye, with much gratitude to God. Throughout the suffering with medical challenges and physical disabilities Ina, like Mary, never questioned “Why?” “When I walk into heaven I’ll ask God w hy,” Ina Faye said, “And He will answer me with his infinite knowledge and love and wisdom. And I’ll snap my fingers and say, ‘Now why didn’t I think o f that?’”

It would seem, then, that as we recall the life o f this Holy Family that there is indeed a very strong connection with families who have been challenged with disabilities; a connection o f shared joys and hurts, understood doubt and anger, mutual faith and hope. May the blessing o f this connection fill your Christmas celebration with peace and unite you with them in hope.

With the help o f a C A P spouse abuse shelter , Fam ily L ife Services and Fam ily L ife Counseling, a fa m ily breaks the cycle o f abuse and begins a new life.

T abatha’s Tree House ♦ 22

by Barbara Brow n ♦ The M ountain Spirit

ost children like to play in tree houses, even little girls. Some little girls use tree houses for their play houses.

Others like to sneak up on little boys playing in their tree houses. But almost all kids either have or want a tree house.

My 11-year-old daughter, Tabatha, used to have a tree house. Her tree house concerned me; not because I was afraid she would fall out o f it, but because I knew that my kids never had a tree house. Yet, Tabatha insisted that she, her little sister, and I, lived for some time way up in a tree house.

Tabatha, is a blonde-headed, brown-eyed beauty, hill o f spunk and imagination.

She’s the kind o f little girl that can put a smile on your face, no matter how awful the day has been. She bubbles over with personality, makes her teachers happy they chose teaching as a career, and always has time for a great big hug.

When I first heard her talking about the tree house we used to live in, I thought she was just exercising her imagination. It wasn’t until some years later that I discov­ ered that Tabatha’s tree house was her escape from the tragic reality o f abuse.

I married Tabatha’s father in the summer of 1981. Tabatha was bom the following January. She came into this world ready and rarin’ to go and hasn’t ever slowed down. Sixteen months later, her sister, Beth, was bom . Beth was more serious and quiet. She seemed a little fragile, but she was healthy.

Tabatha and Beth didn’t have an easy early childhood. We were very poor and their father, who I will call Frank, was an alcoholic, often bursting into rages of violence. The girls and I were afraid of him and we learned to be careful not to make him angry. Tabatha loved him, and she tried with all her might to make him love her, too.

Frank and I came from different back­ grounds. He was bom and raised in a coal­ mining camp in the hills of West Virginia.

His family was very poor. I grew up near Indianapolis, Indiana, and while my family wasn’t rich, we were far from impover­ ished.

I met Frank in Louisville, Kentucky. Our backgrounds didn’t seem to matter at the time. We were happy together so we got married. As we grew older, though, Frank and I acquired different sets of values.

Ja n u a ry - February 1994

Gradually, our differences became obvious. We struggled to make compro­ mises, but we weren’t successful. I wanted us to work, buy a house and live happily ever after. But Frank thought the key to a happy life could be found somewhere in a whiskey bottle. Our struggle over compro­ mises soon led to physical violence.

Tabatha became her father’s scapegoat.

When things went badly for him, he had to blame someone, so he blamed her. He often told her that she was the reason why he drank so much and she felt guilty because she thought she “made” him drink. I couldn’t stand the way he humili­ ated her so I always took up for her. Then he would turn on me.

Our fights were horrible. It wasn’t in my nature to take abuse so I fought back. O f course he was bigger than me, but that never stopped me from at least trying to defend myself. As early as age three, Tabatha knew I didn’t stand a chance against her father’s size. It was then she began trying to protect me.

Screaming and crying, with fists flying, Tabatha never hesitated to get between her dad’s fury and me. In the struggles, she, too, felt the crashing blows o f anger on her little body.

From the fall o f 1983 until the spring of 1987,1 left Frank 33 times. He used charm, intimidation, or fear to force us to come back to him. I always went back, hoping with all my heart that “this time” things would be differ­ ent. But it never got better, it only got worse. In 1987 Frank moved us into old shack on side o f a moi tain in southe, Kentucky.

Finally, a welfare case­ worker told me about a spouse abuse shelter where I could take the girls and be safe. She said they would help

23

“Y ou k n o w , ”sh e sa id . “I t w a s the tree h o u se a n d w e h a d to clim b u p a la d d e r to g e t in to it. ” me find alternatives to this way o f life. I knew I had no choice but to go to the shelter. I didn’t want my little girls grow­ ing up in a world they were afraid to live in. In January 1988,1 left my husband for the last time and went to the shelter in Somerset, Kentucky.

Because o f the compassionate efforts of the staff o f the shelter, I was able to learn to stand on my own two feet. I learned about the effects o f long-term abuse and how pervasive abuse can be. Some people regard it as a way o f life. But with the help o f the professional staff members o f the shelter, I was able to escape the vicious cycle o f abuse.

We lived at the shelter for two months.

After that, my counselor helped me get into a post-shelter program for women who choose to detach themselves from their abusers permanently. There I was encouraged to further my education and pursue a prosperous career. In August 1988,1 began work on a four-year degree at Eastern Kentucky University in Rich­ mond.

Tabatha, Beth and I were living in family housing on the campus o f the university. I divorced their father, and even though he kept trying to get us to leave college and come back to him, I stood firm. He even made violent threats. But I continued my classes, the girls went to their elementary school and every day we got stronger.

It was during my first year o f college, when Tabatha was six years old, that I first heard her mention the tree house. She called it our tree house that we used to live in. I didn’t know what she was talking about so I just passed it off as an overactive imagination. But from time to time, she brought up the tree house.

One day I sat her down and asked her to tell me about the tree house that we used to live in.

“You know ,” she said, “it was a tree house and we had to climb up a ladder to get into it.”

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“Was it a place where we played?” I asked.

“N o,” she said. “It was the tree house we lived in .”

“Tabatha,” I told her, “we never lived in a tree house. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where did you ever get the idea that we lived in a tree house?”

“Mommy,” she said, sounding frustrated, “you’re in college and you can’t even remember where we used to live? Boy, I thought you were smarter than that.”

After that, not much was said about the tree house. If she mentioned it, I ignored it.

Several years went by. I worked hard in school and made good grades. The girls brought home excellent report cards. We didn’t have to worry any more about their dad. He made some bad choices and was sent to prison. We enjoyed our lives and no longer lived in fear. In September 1990,1 met a wonderful man, Pat, and we started dating. He fell in love with Tabatha and Beth and they returned his love. The girls were living a normal life. They played with their friends and had lots o f fun. Nothing was said about the tree house.

I was trying to finish my education so I could get a job. There was a big emphasis on education in our home and the girls were picking up on the importance o f a good education. We all enjoyed school.

In the summer o f 1991,1 was taking tw o summer courses. One was a humanities course that focused on alienation, poverty and discontent. The professor asked the students to locate a building or house that had deteriorated through the years and try to find out w hy the building was allowed to run dow n. Then w e had to write a paper about the building and take pictures o f it to show in class.

I had an idea about what I wanted to do my project on and I went to my professor to discuss it. I told him that in 1987 we lived in an old run-down shack on the side

The M ountain Spirit

o f a mountain in southern Kentucky. At one time, the house had been nice, but through the years, it became a shack. I said that I could describe the house in great detail, right down to the cracks in the floorboards. But the house was full of terrible memories and I didn’t want to go there to take any pictures. I asked if I could sketch the house so the class would get an idea o f what it looked like. He agreed to let me do the project.

I wrote my paper about the old shack and went to great lengths to describe its dilapidated condition. There was no running water in it. Wallpaper was peeling off the walls and ceiling, and it had a stench about it that smelled like poverty.

I hated that old shack. That’s when the worst abuse took place. We not only suffered from gross poverty, we also suffered mental, emotional and physical abuse.

The house was on a ridge on the side of a mountain. It was surrounded by skinny little trees and had an old woodshed out in the back. I complained a lot about our living conditions and I begged Frank to get us out o f there. But that only led to more violence. Tabatha became aggressive and tried in vain to keep her father from hitting me. Beth was terrified and withdrew, shutting out the screams o f fear.

When I finished writing my paper, I made a pencil sketch o f the house. It turned out to be a pretty good drawing. I stapled the picture to my paper and laid it on the kitchen table. Then Beth came in the house and saw the sketch.

“W ow, Mommy. Did you draw this?” she asked.

“Yes, I did. Do you remember that place?”

“Uh huh,” she said. “That’s where we lived when Daddy was so mean.”

When Tabatha came in, Beth said, “Look, Tabatha. Mommy drew a picture of that Ja n u a ry - February 1994

old house we used to live in .”

Tabatha stood gazing at the drawing. She had a look on her face that I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Oh, no,” I thought. “I’ve brought back some bad, old memories."

“See,” Tabatha said. “I told you we used to live in a tree house.”

I was stunned.

The next day I went to see a professional counselor and told her what happened. I explained to her that Tabatha used to talk about the tree house, but for the past several years, she never mentioned it. Then when she saw the picture I drew, she said that was the tree house we used to live in.

The counselor told me about “post traumatic shock syndrome.” She said that Tabatha probably made a tree house in her mind so when her father became abusive, she would have a place to escape. She said it wasn’t unusual for abused children to do that. She wen on to say th; since the a had stoppe Tabatha prob^'JJJ' ably suppressed the memories.

When she saw the picture, it shocked her into remember­ ing.

The counselor told me that I should talk to Tabatha about the abuse,

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and about the tree house, so whatever memories she had suppressed would come out in the open and she could deal with them.

When Tabatha came home from school that day, we had a long talk. I showed her the sketch o f the old house we lived in and asked her to tell me how seeing the sketch made her remember the tree house. I promised her that she was safe, and even if the feelings hurt, they couldn’t harm her.

Tabatha said that sometimes when her dad started beating up on me, she tried to make him stop. Then he hit her. I would yell at her and make her go in her room and shut the door, and keep her sister in there with her. She said they could hear me crying, and they could hear him calling me bad names.

“One time when he was hurting you, I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “So I got you and Beth and we climbed up in the tree house in the back yard. Then we pulled the ladder up real fast so my dad couldn’t reach us.

That’s where we lived from then on.

Don’t you remember?” she asked. “We lived in the tree house so my dad .couldn’t hurt us.” ked her o built the e house in e back yard, e said that it was there when we moved in. Every time her dad and I got into a fight and I made her go to her room she took Beth and went up in the treehouse so they couldn’t hear us fighting. When she

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realized she couldn’t make her dad stop hurting me, she took me up in the tree house with her and Beth and that’s where we stayed until we moved into the shelter.

For Tabatha, when she took Beth and me into the tree house, that’s when the fighting stopped.

She talked to me for a long time. We decided that the tree house was a very safe place for us to be. But we didn’t really live in the tree house. She said she sort of knew that, but all she could remember was climbing the ladder and we were all safe.

“I remember this house,” she said, pointing to the picture. “That’s where we lived when we went into the tree house.”

I held Tabatha in my arms for hours. We talked about all the awful things that happened before we left her dad. She told me things that he did to her and I told her things that he did to me. We shared our secrets o f abuse. I begged her to forgive me for not getting us out o f there sooner than I did. But she cried and said, “It’s okay, Mommy. I’m just sorry I was too little to help you.”

Tabatha no longer has a tree house. We are safe now. Abuse is a terrible thing, even for adults. But a child’s perception of abuse often makes her feel like she is to blame. Since Tabatha was blamed for her father’s excessive drinking, she also felt to blame for him beating me up. She believed that it was her responsibility to protect me. In her little mind, the only escape route she could find was in the safety of a tree house.

Tabatha and Beth were lucky. So was I. We got professional help and stopped the cycle o f abuse. We still have memories, but they seem far away.

I graduated from college last May, and Pat and I are planning our wedding. We have been looking at houses to buy. He told Tabatha that when we get our house, if she wants, he will build her a tree house, one that she can have fun in. But Tabatha said, “No, that’s okay. We don’t need a tree house; not any m ore.” ft

The M ountain Spirit

Parents-Are-Teachers Helps Children and Parents Discover Capabilities Together No one breathed a word when the baby was born, and the silence ripped through Vicki like a knife. Labor couldn't come close to the pain of the sickening realization that something was wrong with Adam.

A beautiful hope-filled pregnancy, a perfect delivery, an absolutely beautiful, healthy, curlyhaired baby boy-with no hand. Its absence was overwhelming and obscured every dream Vicki had for her son, shadowing visions of crawling, stacking blocks, climbing trees and wearing baseball gloves. Sentences which for most mothers started with phrases like, "I can't wait to see him . . . " now began with "How will he e ve r . . . " Adam was several months old when Vicki was ready to enroll him in Parents Are Teachers, the Christian Appalachian Project home bound program for children with disabilities. Even then, the first several weeks were spent sharing her pain with her teacher, Suzann.

For Suzann, it was back to square one as she researched congenital amputation, appropriate compensation and prosthetics. Little by little Suzann brought new information, new strategies, new therapists and new hope to Vicki. Together, one bite at a time, they began to eat this enormous elephant.

There were lots of unpleasant "bites" to swallow: that first visit with the occupational therapist to make sure Adam's compensatory movements were appropriate; learning to turn pages. There was a lump in Vicki's throat the first time Suzann dumped a bag of blocks on the living room floor.

As the weeks passed Suzann watched despair become determination as Adam's mom imple­ mented suggestions and activities faster than Suzann could keep up. One fine day Adam stacked three blocks. Today, Suzann says, he stacks blocks better than any child his age in our program.

He climbs all over his mother's good furniture, and thanks to God and the genius who invented Velcro, he can catch a ball!

Watching Adam's normal life is wonderful, but the real success here is Vicki. As Adam con­ tinually demonstrates that with a little creativity, he has the same freedom and possibilities as any other child, Vicki has begun to unlock her own imprisoned hopes and dreams.

Next month, Adam will be fitted with a new prosthesis with a terminal and every now and then, Vicki finds herself fading into fantasy . . .

"Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. The last of the ninth, trailing by three. The bases are loaded and the crowd roars as Adam Smallwood steps up to the plate . . . " The generosity of CAP donors has made this wonderful progress possible for Adam and Vicki.

A gift of $10, $15, $25-more, if you're able-wili be used where it's needed most, perhaps to enable another Appalachian mom to dream dreams for her child.

Child Poverty in Appalachia The number of children living in poverty in Appalachian Kentucky is as high as 64% (almost two out of three children).

The national child poverty rate is 20%.

The child poverty rate in the Appalachian area of Kentucky is 36%.

Why is the poverty rate high in Appala­ chia? The report titled "Poverty in Appala­ chia" (published by the Appalachian Center of the University of Kentucky) included the following: "The sources of poverty in the region are extremely complex, but are influenced by the interplay of three major factors: •

lack of employment opportunity in weak, single industry labor markets;

•

an underskilled, educationally disadvantaged work force;

•

historical and cultural factors related to economic, political and social development."

Shaded area indicates the boundaries of the Appalachian region

CHRISTIAN APPALACHIAN PROJECT 322 CRAB ORCHARD ROAD LANCASTER, KY 40446 The Mountain Spirit

NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE PAID Christian Appalachian Project

Address Correction Requested