Kentucky River
Vol VL,
No.2 _________ ^____________________________________________________________________
M anh 198Q
CAP LOOKS A T “ THE YEAR OF THE FAMILY,” •
1980
1 Corinthians 7:3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 5. Defraud y e not one the other, except it be with consent fo r a time, that y e may give yourselves to fa stin g and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you notfor your incontinency. Proverbs 17:6. Children s children are the crown o f old men; and the glory o f children are their fathers. Exodus 20:12. Honor thy fath er and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he w ill not depart from it. Joel 1:3. Tell ye your children o f it, and let you r children tell their children, and their children another generation.
Proberbs 6:20-23. M y son, keep thyfa th er’s commandment, andforsake not the law o f thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou ^leepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; wind the law is light; and reproofs o f instruction are the way o f life.
FROM THE EDITOR H DESK Well, just as the last issue of Soundings was going to press, the cold, snowy W inter w eather that we said had not hit us yet came. How long it will last, of course, we cannot tell, but w e’ll continue to work on this issue in any event. As I said in the last issue, this one will place emphasis on the “ Fam ily” as a part of the N ational program to that effect. As one thinks about it, though, there is very little that the C hristian Appalachian Project deals with that does not, in some way, touch the family. And, in those occasional cases where we do not actually deal directly with a family, it is not at all difficult to see where CAP itself is providing “fam ily” in a very real sense to someone who might otherwise not have one. In the case of our present G roup H om e at Cam p Nelson, this is not at all difficult to visualize. T here, M o M ercier and his wife, Stephanie, provide a “ home environm ent” that m ust, in some part, provide a “ fam ily” like framework for the young men living, studying, and working with them. The soon-tobe-opened G roup Home at our Family Life C enter will be operated in much the same way, although there the objective will be to return the younger boys to their real family. Again, though, the activity will be very much family-oriented, with the live-in counselors working closely with each youngsters’s family toward e v e n tu a l re h a b ilita tio n an d reunion. In the Parents-are-Teachers P ro g ra m for p reschool handicapped children, M arilyn Stefanski works directly with the parents on her home-visitation schedule, touching directly, and being touched by, the families of these little ones. In fact, in answ ering questions about the Program , M arilyn automatically refers to her cases as “my families,” or “I have four families in that county, ”
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etc. The very basis of her p ro g ra m re q u ire s a close association and cooperative effort with the parents of each child she reaches out to, and, in each singular effort she launches, it m ust ultimately be a family effort for success. O ne can certainly see the joy and reward of helping a family achieve a more loving and enjoyable circumstance with a handicapped child of preschool age. N ot a^l of the C h ristian Appalachian Project’s programs are so im m e d ia te ly an d apparently rewarding, however, and m ust, of necessity, deal with more sordid aspects of family life. The Spouse Abuse program , for example, is one of our efforts to provide assistance, shelter, and h o p e fu lly c o n s tru c tiv e counselling when the family breaks down. This is particularly disturbing in that the family was long a strength of the mountain people, and could be relied on by its members in almost any situation of extreme stress. But, along with some of the hitor-m iss social p ro g ram s by various government agencies and the too-often callous attitude of in d u s try m a n a g e m e n t, th a t strong Appalachian family unit is breaking down in m any cases. There rem ain, though, more things on the bright side than the dark side in C A P ’s familyoriented efforts. The Family Life C enter complex in Renfro Valley with its picnic areas, athletic facilities, and fam ily-reunion oriented programs are certainly of this “ brighter” side. And, even in the Emergency Shelter for provision of immediate assistance for families who are burned out by tragic fires or otherwise suddenly uprooted, there is a feeling of being able to help someone in dire need. As you read through this issue, therefore, we hope that you, too, will be able to see the brighter side of the Christian Appalachian Projects many programs. We
a re , an d have b een , m ost certainly oriented on The Family, and are pleased to see that N ational authorities are n o w ^ emphasizing that, too. The family is, after all, the most basic unit of any social or political organization and, if we let it go, what is there left? Jack Little Soundings Editor C hristian Appalachian Project Lancaster, Kentucky 40446 In This Issue: Appalachian Family D eaf Group Home K ith and K in Family Reunions Group Home “Family ” Families o f Silence Youth Activity Cross and a Blessing Child Development Marriage Enrichment A dult Handicapped Spouse Abuse Center
p .3 p .5 p. 7 p. 8 p .9 p. 11 p . 13 p . 14 p. 15 p. 16 P-l\ p. 19
Ken tu cky River
THE MONTHLY MAGAZINE OF THE CHRISTIAN APPALACHIAN PROJECT Chief Editor - Reverend Beiting Editor - Jack Little Production - Alton Bradley Typesetting - Jean Brown Kentucky River Soundings is published monthly by the Christian Appalachian Project Kentucky River Soundings Lancaster, Kentucky 40446 Manuscripts, photographs and art work limited to Appalachian themes are invited. Copyright 1978, The Christian Appalachian Project, All Rights Reserved. %
THE “FAMILY” IN APPALACHIA By Reverend Ralph Beiting In times of great stress people often feel compelled to go back to their roots. We hear the statement, “ O h, for the good old days,” or, “ I wish that things were like they used to be. If we could only count on things, as we were able to do in the past. The good old days are frequently not as good as we recall them in our memories. But the feeling, I think is good. We w ant to go back to that which is basic, to that which is solid, with the hope that we can once more build upon that, in order to achieve the peace and tranquility that every m an needs and de serves. Perhaps in no other field is this sentiment so profoundly felt as it is in the field of the family. No k n e that I ’ve been able to hear, or I'ead, or listen to in any context in recent years has been able to justify the falling apart of the family. Everyone feels that it is a tragedy. No m atter what shade of belief that may espouse, the disillusionment with family life on the scale to which it is presently involved is a tragedy in the minds of one and all. Something must be done in order to achieve the good old days when a man and a woman could promise each other love in God’s sight, and be convinced that with His grace and their cooperation it could last until death did them part. In times past, if there was one thing that we in Appalachia felt we had that we could treasure, though not all shared it to the same degree, it was family life. W e felt that family life in the m ountains was something that was more sacred and more enuring than family life in any ther part of our nation. Today, we are finding that our assum p tions are no longer correct. Today, family life in the m oun tains is troubled, is perplexed, and is breaking up with more
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EARLY STAGES OF CONSTRUCTION AT FAM ILY LIFE CENTER regularity than in the nation as a whole. For those of us who have spent a great number of years in Appalachia, this is a change that could not go un challenged. This year marks my thirtieth year in working with the people of Eastern K entucky’s m ountain area. And I have been convinced beyond anything else that if there is something that I and the Christian Appalachian Project can do to be of value to this area and to its people, it would be to help revitalize family life. To heal some of the hurt that is felt there, and to hold out in the way of hope more than there has been for quite some time. It was, with this in m ind, that a little over a year ago we purchased some property in Rockcastle C ounty, near the town of M ount V ernon, in a beautiful setting called Renfro Valley. H ere we obtained more than a hundred acres of land on which we could design and build the facilities that would be of great value to the people who work with family life. The dream has become more and more of a reality as each month has
progressed. The land has been cleared, roads made, buildings have been designed and numbers of them have ac tually been built, with others still un der construction. The skeletal form of what is to be there is clearly delineated. We are in the process now of p u t ting into operation those things that hopefully will be of great value to our people and to family lives. As we designed this center, it was m eant to be comprehensive. In that I mean simply this, it was m eant to involve all the areas in term s of hum an hurt, as well as human pride and hope. We wanted to bring together in one geographic area, all the things that could be done to help the family in its seeking and its search ing for happiness. Frequently, we are all asked to respond to problems, difficulties. Someone comes to our door and they are hungry. Someone is sick and needs immediate attention. We have no time in which to plan, or to try to reconstitute the problem. I t’s there, and it needs immediate at tention. We fitid this to be tru e / for 3
example, in the area of spouse abuse. There are hurting m arried people who are physically abused by their partners. M ost of the time it is women, but at times men suffer the same fate. The children of course always suffer. T here are the old, whose family has grown and, in our area at least, has usually moved away, p e rh a p s to som e m ore economically attractive area of the country. They frequently can only look forward to old age a lo n e , an d te rrib ly h u rt. Something needed to be done for them . We find too that children are the victims of interplay be tween husband and wife and society as a whole. And in that difficult period of the teens when they are striv in g to reach m aturity and leave the ways of children behind, they run into ex traordinary difficulties. Wefelt that all of these areas of need should be brought together into one place. And so, in the Family Life Cen ter at Renfro Valley we have a Group Home for young men who found great difficulty in adjusting to society and to their families in particular. We also are erecting a home for the elderly, where they may be able to live together with others of their own age, and share their same interests and concerns, where they find that loneliness can be dispelled. We are building a Spouse Abuse Center where we may be able to work with the abused person as well as with her or his partner, to rectify this situation so that the family may be reunited. Additionally, we have under construction an emergency shelter where both the very young as well as the very old could be brought in, and where for a limited time they could be given shelter, until something more per manent and desirable can be arrived at. These kinds of things are taking place now on a perm anent basis. Besides that everyday ac tivity, we have what we refer to as a “ M arriage Enrichm ent C en te r.” H ere couples can come in for weekends and, with skilled direction, can look at each other and their lives and determ ine how they may be able to rebuild their m arriage. O r to reinforce their m arriage and to enrich their 4
m arriage so that it becomes even a more pleasant and wholesome thing than it was before. This center is also to be used by engaged couples, where they may receive training before they enter into m arriage. In addition to the married people themselves, the center is hoped to be a source of knowledge and instruction for all those who work in the field of marriage counselling throughout the Appalachian area. H ere they may come and have seminars, and study days. There will be an extensive library, both of films and of printed materials that they will be able to use. The b e st in fo rm a tio n a v ailab le anywhere on family life and its enrichm ent will be at their disposal to use as they prepare their own program for the e n ric h m e n t o f fam ily life throughout the whole Eastern Kentucky area, and hopefully even beyond that. It is an ambitious program , in volving hundreds of thousand of dollars of expense in the way of construction. It involves the em ployment of not merely qualified people, but dedicated people who are m otivated by C h ristian thought and principle, and ideals in caring for and helping the family. We sincerely belive it is one of the most exciting and promising areas the Christian Appalachian Project has ever become involved with. For the very first time we are going to be tre a tin g problem s, an d not merely the symptoms. We will be going to root causes, and trying
to design ways in which we can not only heal the hurting family, but that we might be able to prepare the young people to enter into a family that is going to be a^^fc powerfully loaded with virtue a s ^ ^ it can be. W e still need to hire qualified individuals who will assist us in the working and o p e ra tio n of this p ro g ra m . Several of them have already been employed and in the next issue of Soundings we will be featuring a num ber of them and their roles in the Family Life Center. Now, in the W inter of 1980, we sincerely hope that the seeds we are sowing and the ground that we are cultivating will, as Spring and Summ er come, bear enough fruit to encourage one and all to continue*in this won derful work of reestablishing the family. O f bringing back, in its best sense, the “ good old days.” To reconstitute hum an life upon those solid foundations that God gave it. T h at it was not good for m an to be alone. W here H e gave him a helpmate like unto H inq self. W here the family was born, and where God used even the family to bring His own Son in salvation to all m ankind. The family is still the most powerful asset God has given to the human race. And those of us here at the Christian Ap palachian Project consider it a privelege as well as a challenge to do all in our power to assist God and his people in bringing about the kind of family life that everyone wishes and deserves.
FAMILY LIFE CENTER BUILDING NEARING COMPLETION
THE “GROUP HOME, ” A NEW HORIZON FOR DEAF ADOLESCENTS
VIEW OF W HAT MAY BECOME GROUP HOM E FOR DEAF IN SOMERSET E D IT O R ’S NOTE: This article was originally intendedfor inclusion in the January-February issue, but space limitations prevented its publication then. It seems appropriately enough related to the ‘family ” theme of this issue, being about, in a way, a sort of family for deafyoung men. U nder the auspices of the C hristian Appalachian Project (CAP), an entirely new dim en sion in developmental guidance and support for hearing impaired youth is unfolding in Somerset, Kentucky. It is a sort of half-wayhouse or stepping-stone en vironm ent for deaf young people ages 18 to 20 years. The most descriptive phrase for this com prehensive facility is a “ G roup H o m e.” T hat is, it will be a home in every respect for a group of eight, providing all of the domestic, family-like reinforce m ent so necessary in achieving successful integration into the hearing world. The initial Group H om e will be for eight young' men. However, once it is established, the best procedures
are ironed out, and already favorable contacts within the community are expanded, a parallel home for young women is definitely planned. The purpose of this Home is to provide specialized and in dividualized developmental in teraction for clients coming from institutional settings, direct referrals, referrals by agencies such as the D epartm ent of H um an Resources, and other references. O ne objective of this supportive environm ent will be to better prepare these young people for competitively seeking gainful employment, pursuing college work, participating in vocational training, and developing the dayto-day life skills necessary for success in any of this. Emphasis will be placed on routinized ap plication of, and assimilation of, the traditional American work ethic. In sum m ary, the Home will provide all those supports for deaf adolescents in achieving a successful transition into adult independence that are traditionally provided by the typical
American home. The program will include a one to two year period of resb dence in the G roup H om e while the young people are becoming increasingly independent in p u r suit of outside, adult interests and vocations. The Home will be staffed by a live-in married couple, preferably a deaf couple, who will provide a suitable and challenging image for the young men in every respect. This couple will be assisted by a hearing person highly skilled in deaf communication whose prim ary function will be to act as liaison between home and com m unity, as well as a num ber of other counselling and inter pretive duties. This core staff will be assisted by additional staff members as needed for full and comprehensive im plementation of the program . The actual, operational program is being developed by input from deaf adults who have had to make this difficult tra n sition without any such domestic support, and from deaf students who are approaching that point in life with felt needs for such support. The object here is to develop a program based on known and projected needs of the deaf adolescent himself, rather than arbitrary imposition of what hearing people might think their deaf fellows need. Decisions will have to be m ade, of course, in terms of feasibility, practicality, and community receptivity. However, the staff will make these decisions on the basis of what are known to be the needs of the deaf clients residing in this home, rather than in any a r bitrary m anner. In a broad, general sense, the program will include vocational interest and aptitude evaluation combined with per sonal self-assessment for and by all members of the G roup Home. In some cases clinically proven standardized tests will be used and, in others, demonstratively 5
effective group therapy techniques, all geared toward enabling clients to enter into competitive employment and im provem ent of their academic skill level. The G roup H om e interac tion setting, at times formally scheduled and at other times informally spontaneous, will be guided toward social, cultural, vocational, and academic development. To the m axim um extent possible this will come from client-to-client m utual reinforcement, tutoring, encouragem ent, and ap proval/disapproval of expressed attitudes and behaviors. For this reason, clients adm itted to m em bership in the G roup H om e will be homogeneous in only one respect; their m utual hearing im pairm ent. In all other respects it is desirable to have heterogeneity so that a mutually reinforcing, reciprocal, give-and-take at mosphere will develop. W e will enlist a composite group of “ idea” people mixed with the more mechanically inclined, “ people-oriented’ ’ individuals with those who are task-oriented, and the “ w ithdraw n” type with clients who are outgoing and gregarious. The guidance standards of the Group Home will focus on individual tutoring, development of daily living skills, personal counseling, work con ditioning (the work ethic), assistance in job placement, academic program selection, etc. T here will also be in terpretive services for on-job or in-training early adaptation, and follow-up services as needed. Ad^ ditional domestic supportive op portunities will be a wood working shop in the home as a creative outlet where clients can make some of their own fur nishings, and perhaps some profit from personal products. There is also available, within three miles of the home, a 77 acre farm where home members can work with livestock, an orchard, have their own gardens, or ac tually practice crop management. These are readily accessible op portunities for both therapeu tically valuable and socially developmental experiences. 6
The location for this G roup H om e is Somerset, Kentucky. This location was not chosen lightly. Somerset is the second largest city in Appalachian Kentucky, but is still not so large and urbanized as to cause the G roup H om e to be lost in anonymity. In fact, the city has an established concern and welcome for deaf clients in academic and work situations. Somerset has grown rapidly in recent years, and the job m arket there is excellent. It also has a Com m unity College geared to local students with diverse workstudy schedules, a - vocational school, and ready access to fine recreational facilities on nearby Lake C um berland. A vitally im portant aspect of this location is a con cerned citizenry whose community leaders have expressed a welcomefor the Group Home, and all of its an cillary plans. Somerset provides, in short, an excellent location which is suf ficiently removed from larger u r ban centers with significant deaf populations such as Danville, Lexington, and Louisville so as to make the G roup Hom e clients more aware of the need for selfsufficiency. This precludes development of certain alternate behavior patterns, basically dependency-patterns, which would at times be at odds with
both the purpose and program of the H om e. An excellent network of highways, however, does not preclude visits to those centers by G roup Hom e members and reciprocally hosted events in or near Somerset for visitors from the larger urban centers. This G roup H om e for deaf young men, with completely operational program as described above, will begin this year, no later than September, 1980. Any interested applicants for the staff positions described are encouraged to submit a resume and three or more references as soon as possible; Such applicants m ust be highly skilled in American Sign Language and have a degree of understanding of the psychology of deafness. We emphasize that this program will he fully operational by September, 1980, and is seen as an entirely “ New H orizon” in providing a concrete stepping-stone for deaf young adults from their past en vironm ent into competitive, productive, and healthy p ar ticipation in the larger society. I f you are interested, and fully qualified, apply directly to: Ric O ’Connell Coordinator of Services for H earing Im paired C hristian Appalachian Project Lancaster, Kentucky 40446
ANOTHER VIEW OF PO TENTIAL GROUP HOME
OF K ITH AND K IN By Jess Wilson W hen in 1949 I started staking rural electric lines in the areas where I was born and “ raised,” / soon learned how useful a knowledge of kinship lines and family stories could be. I learned that quite often a knowledge of who was related to or acquainted with whom was useful in gaining cooperation and assistance in getting the job done. I found that the best way to deal with people I met was to tell them who I was and to whom I was related. It helped if I knew someone they knew. C o n v e rsa tio n about my relatives and ancestors worked especially well in Owsley, Clay, Jackson and Laurel counties where my ancestors had been pioneer settlers almost 150 years before. It worked even better when someone was able to tell me something about my family I had not heard before. I f I approached a merchant who had known my father or either of my grandfathers, he would never hesitate to cash my check or extend me credit. This was a great help. In areas where my family was not well known, I relied on my knowledge of some well-known local person. In Estill C ounty, I could always talk about C aptain Jo h n Wilson (no kin) who carriedthe U nion flag to the top of LookO ut M ountain, during the Civil W ar. In Rockcastle County, I could talk about R obert “ Red Bob” Spence, riding Big Red, his horse, all over the county, talking about red Duroc hogs, red Rhode Island R ed chickens, red cows and red seed-corn as the first agriculture agent in the USA. At least, we thought he was. . N ear B ernstadt in L aurel f C ounty, I could always talk about my grandfather, George Pigg, and the deep adm iration his family had for the industrious and hard-working immigrants
who established the Swiss Colony in the 1880’s. In some areas, I found people waiting at their gates or on their front porches for the survey party to come up the road so that they could exchange family information and stories with me. Some of my co-workers soon began to see the value of my knowledge of local families and their histories. Roy Johnson, for many years the head of the engineering departm ent, now retired, came to me one day. “J e s s,” he began, “ We are having trouble getting a right-of-way from your cousin, Arch Wilson, at Booneville. Will you go see him and talk about the Civil War. Later, some of us will go back about the right-ofway. ” M any of my stories have come from fellow-employees who told me about things they saw in the field and the people they met and talked with as they built or repaired electric lines. W hen we started staking an electric line up Indian Creek in Owsley C ounty, M r. Brown M inter, who lived half-way up
the creek, met us at the m outh of the creek. W hen he learned that I was cousin to his wife, he insisted that I eat lunch with them that day. H e said, “ M y wife will surely want to meet her cousin.” Each day about noon, Brown would come to where we were, working and take me home with himfor lunch. W hen we had surveyed past his farm , he approached me one day about making a change in the way we had staked the line through one of his tobacco patches. We figured out a better way. As we were restaking the line, I passed Carl Lainhart, our transit m an. H e said, “That is what those lunches costyou. ” I could only say that I would have restaked the line, kinfolks or not, lunches or not. O f course, m any of you know C arl’s subtle sense of hum or. W hen I was assigned the duty of preparing m aterial for a monthly newsletter, I soon found that my readers were mor^ interested in stories about their kinfolks than in articles about refrigerators. When They Hanged the Fiddler By: Jess Wilson Complet Volume, $14.00 Jackson County R EC C M cKee, Kentucky 40447
■HHIIIn RURAL K EN TU C K Y SCENE W HERE JESS MAY HAVE W ORKED 7
FAMILY REUNIONS AND RECREA 0
By Reverend Ralph Beiting
YOUNG PIC N IC K E R PR O U D LY DISPLAYS CAP TEE SH IR T At the Family Life C enter at R enfro Valley, there ’ is not merely a place to pray, a place to do serious thinking, a place, to learn, but there is also a place simply to rest and relax. I sin cerely hope that m any of you may have an opportunity to visit R e n fro Valley, outside of M ount V ernon right off of 1-75. It is a place blessed by God in abundant ways. Trees and valleys and ru n ning streams are all part of the area that we call the Family Life C enter of Appalachia. One of the things that we are par ticularly concerned about is the reunion of families. Frequently just a physical reunion of members of a family will furnish strength and a source of support that we too often overlook. I know myself, I come from a very large family, and when the whole family can get together, usually on some warm Sum m er day, everyone gives a little bit of what they have been doing and a little history of w hat has happened to them and their struggles. O ne can ’t help but come away from such a gathering with the feeling that: M aybe I can do a little bit better or work a little harder. O r, we m ight come back from it with an idea that here is a m em ber really in need and now m aybe I should think seriously o f how I can help them . 8
Before long the fact that we gathered together as a family gives us strength and gives us areas where we m ight be able to do more to help and assist one another. A t the Family Life Center we have set aside a considerable amount of our facilities and our land for just that. Family reunions. Three large pavilions are scattered throughout this area to give shade and o pportunities for shelter. T here are recreation areas such as baseball diam onds and volley ball and badm inton courts, and horseshoe stakes. T here are also outdoor grills. It assures everyone of an oppor tunity tp enjoy themselves. Even for the little children playground equipm ent has been furnished. All of this in the hope that from April the firsi on, we shall have families there, enjoying their own presence. Get ting to know one another again. Being refreshed by the strength that has come from a long history of tkem being united by blood and love. I cannot help but think that such a program will bear a b u n dant results. We all know how popular a couple years ago the Television series Roots was.
Everyone began to take con siderable pride in their own family again. W e hope that there will be literally thousands and thousands of people throughout q u r area this-year o f 19Ô0 who • will have been brought together as a family, and will have been able to have spent a day and p erh ap s som etim es a whole weekend reminiscing over the good things of the past. T h at they will grow in strength from the devotion of each other , béitig en couraged to help arid assist each other because of the knowledge of the need that one/ m em ber has. And that all of this will come about because, there were thefacilities at Ren fro Valley, to make a family reunion a time of joy, and peace, and strength and encouragementfor thefuture. Anyone who may be interested^te in reserving the Family Life C e n -^ r te r’s beautiful grounds for a family reunion of their own are encouraged tc contact us at Sound ings, and we will see to it that proper arrangem ents are made to spend some time in this setting working on the bëst thing of all - a happyfamily.
FAM ILY GATHERING FOR LABOR DAY PIC N IC AT RENFRO VALLEY CENTER
GROUP HOME, ANOTHER KIND OF “FAMILY”
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T H E GROUP HOM E AT CAMP NELSON
A lthough the G roup H om e at C a m p N e lso n , w hich th e C hristian A ppalachian Project started several years ago, does not attem pt or claim in any way to be a substitute “ fam ily” for the young men that come to it, such a relationship seems to inevitably grow. This H om e, too, will be the model for our soon-tobe-opened G roup H om e at R en fro Valley, and also, to a degree, for the D eaf G roup H om e planned for Somerset in Pulaski, C ounty. T he H om e takes young m en, referred by the K entucky D epart m ent of H um an Resources, who w o u ld o th e rw ise be in stitutionalized as a result of State C ourt decisions. They come from diverse backgrounds, often in cluding troubled family environments, and, in stum bling unguided or m isguided through their teenage years into young adulthood, have become entangled somehow with the law. J u st what their offense was is not really relevant to the G roup H om e’s purpose in setting them back on a more constructive
and socially acceptable track. It should be said, perhaps, that if their background included an ex tremely serious kind of crim inal ac tivity, they most probably would not be referred to the hom e at all in the first place. In any event, the CA P staff and the H om e and the psychologists w ho visit regularly for counseling and discussion sessions w ith the young m en do not dwell on this sub ject, for obvious reasons. T he whole thrust of the Group*» H om e program is to create, and m aintain, a positive, healthy, c o n stru c tiv e fa m ily -lik e e n vironm ent of C hristian values and effort. Em ploym ent at a re g u la r jo b , o r v o c a tio n a l education when needed to prepare for such em ploym ent, becomes the routine at the C am p Nelson H om e. It becomes an accepted, and respected, way-of-life for these young m en, which way-oflife is exemplified by and rein forced by Mo Mercier, Coordinator of the G roup H om e, and his wife Stenhanie. It does not seem to be “ stretch
in g ” the point of “ family away from hom e” at all in visualizing the group discussions that are a regular part of the program at the H om e. T he eight young m en gather with CA P staff mem bers and regularly, too, with a con sulting psychologist, on at least a weekly basis for such discussions. Technically, and professionally which is the way it should be done in dealing with something so delicate and im portant as reshaping a p erso n ’s values, these are “ th erap y ” sessions. The discussions are intended to reinforce recognition, acceptance, and practice of the proper ethics and beliefs of our American Judeo-Christian tradition. This is, after all ¡exactly w hat positive A m erican family life strives to reinforce. T hough most families may not be this large, especially in this day and ag e, th e id e a o f fam ily discussions, exchange of views, id e a s, h o p e s, d e sire s, a n d aspirations, is or should be part and parcel of home-life. W here else, surely, does a child, youngster, and then young adult get guidance for entering into the world of self-reliance and independence? O h, certainly, there are tremendous pressures from other sources. Y oung people are under the influence of a wide range of inform ation such as peers, television, radio, and movies. This is a given. But it is incum b e n t on th e F A M IL Y, in discussions and in open com m unication betw een hu sb an d and wife, m other and child, father and child, and child with p a re n ts , to S H A P E T H A T O TH ER IN FLU EN CE. Too of ten, when those other influences cause a young person to stray from the path, it is because of a lack of such “ shaping” in the family. So this group discussion, or “ group therapy” if you will, is in a very real sense a substitution now for w hat these young men in the G roup H om e did not have an opportunity for in their previous family. 9
A “ su b stitu tio n ,” perhaps, but one that, when made with sin cerity, love, and in a true Christian spirit, is not at all seen as a second-best effort by the young m an. As R everend Beiting has pointed out in several articles in Soundings, the receptivity and ap preciation of the residents of the G roup H om e, both during and very often long after their stay there, is a very deep and moving ex perience. W hen one has never had, or has never “ felt” that he had, a real family environm ent, then the opportunity to be a part of this C hristian A ppalachian Project G roup H om e is very m uch ap preciated , indeed. N ot all of the young m en come from the m ountain country, but that background is most typical of the group one finds there at any given time. It is a transient group, with a stay of one to two years depending on progress and adaptation of the m em ber to a new way of life. They leave, but M o M ercier says that almost all of them call often to talk to him. to Stephanie, or to one of the young m en still resident there. They call by phone from long dis tances, and often come back to visit, just as one would expect loyal sons to do in their own family. T he program was started alm ost experim entally several years ago, although M o M ercier put considerable re search into preparing for it, and C A P is most pleased with its rem arkable success. Almost none of its products ever become wards of the State again, and they now have jobs - sometimes impressive ones - and some of them have families of their own. But, though th ey m ay now have o th e r “ h o m e s ,” the overw helm ing m ajority seem to still focus on the G roup H om e at C am p Nelson as the origin of their new, or at least more worthwhile, life. It is rew arding to feel a part of that contribution, and ■ G A P ’s m any supporters throughout the country should share in thatfeeling.
10
URGENT VOLUNTEER NEED The Christian Appalachian Project has an urgent needfo r a volunteer to work in its Group Home fo r delinquent boys. This is an excellent op portunity fo r someone who wishes to serve and to obtain valuable training in working with youth. This person w ill be directly supervised by Moe Mercier, the coordinator o f all C A P ,s Group Home work. The position can befille d by either a man or a woman, 21 years o f age or older. A person with good mental and physical health is needed but no special training or previous experience in the fie ld o f rehabilitation is required. A ll GAP volunteers live in an ecumenical community setting, have their living needs (such as food, clothing, medical care, etc.) provided, and receive a sm allfinancial allowance; Interested persons should contact: Jack Morris Director o f Human Development Christian Appalachian Project 322 Crab Orchard Road Lancaster, Kentucky 40446 1-606-792-3051 1
POSSIBLE N EW CAP VENTURE IN PROVIDING JOBS
■ T H O U G H T H E FINAL DESIGN IS N O T YET C ERTA IN , CAP IS E X PE R IM E N T IN G W IT H PR O D U C T IO N OF TH ESE M EM ORIAL DAY CROSSES
THE FAMILIES OF SILENCE By Ric O’Connell T here are in these hills and m ountains of A ppalachia those who will never be heard. There are mothers and fathers who will never know the joy of their child’s first word; never be able to share their dreams; never know the height of their pain or the depth of their love. There arefamilies who will remain always a little curious about their completeness because one of it’s members has been isolatedfrom fu ll giving and receiving. These are frustrations which, in part, con front a family which has a deaf child. In this issue of Soundings, which is centered on the family, it seems appropriate to address the issue of deafness as it relates to and ef fects the family, and what it is like being a m em ber of such a family. Because deafness is difficult to diagnose early, m uch of the nor mal input and assessment in these d e v elp m en ta l y ears is lost, placing an additional burden on the child’s progress which can of ten give rise to misdiagnosis. In some instances parents and neighbors are often left with the incorrect im pression that these children are C(slow learners", “slow talkers'’ and when they continue in their inability to respond in a conventional manner, become stigmatized as “retarded’’ C arried towards this end, it is not difficult to imagine the over w helm ing obstacles and the hopeless feelings th a t ensue within the family. At this point it seems only right to m ention that deafness does not always effect every family in the same way. T here are so m any ingredients which can alter the situation, for example, if the deaf child is the first child born; if the parents are deaf; if the deaf child has other disabilities, etc. We are attempting to represent in this article thefamily that has had no previous ex posure to deafness, as is the case with
RIC O ’CONNELL GIVING T H E SIGN FOR “ FA M ILY ”
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TH E REVERSE OF W H IC H MEANS, INTER ESTIN G LY “ IM P O R T A N T ” the majority of Appalachia’s remote posture with her child. Realizing families. before anyone else that there is It is interesting to note the im something unique in this child, pact that a deaf child has on the she will most often defend the natural m other-child relation child against outside verbal abuse ship. In most cases that natural through her constant clinging to b o n d is am plified in such the idea that the child will begin situations. T he m other often norm al functioning very soon. develops an excessively protective This attitude is further reinforced 11
through the m other’s rejection of the idea that her child is different from other children and can „be fu rther com plicated by local cultural and social dem ands. This sort of refusal, sadly, keeps the mother from seeking early, professional assistance which could otherwise guarantee the child’s fu ll development. It should also be pointed out that often a parent does not realize that there is something that can be done to teach, the child. Living in the isolation of rural A ppalachia it is not difficult to understand why parents are not aware of w hat can be done for the deaf youngster. W e also note that in some in stances the m other feels rejected by the child. W hen she enters a room and the child fails to respond with eye contact because the child does not hear the m other coming in, or when the m other calls to the child in w hatever m anner and the child further fails to respond, is often m istaken for a lack of concern by the deaf child. A t this point the mother has no idea that the child is deaf and can easily mis-read the lack of positive reaction. T h is w ill sometimes lead to a reverse refusal of acceptance of the child by the m other. In nearly every situation when the child is finally recognized as being deaf, and all of the special educational opportunities are m ade known to the family, the m other’s further involvement in the child’s education can dem and so m uch of her tim e that the rest of the family m ight feel somewhat cheated. In some instances this could foster feelings of resent m ent for the presence of the child in the home. If it is known that there are special school settings for deaf children, some parents w ill a n x io u sly seek e a rly placem ent of the child in that in stitution in order to ’’protect” the interests of the rest of the family. O nce this occurs, the family m ight then shift the full responsibility for the child and his future on to the institution. W ith the child away from the hom e for a nine m onth period, it is easy for the family to escape the idea that 12
they m ust develop a new methoji of com m unication in order to be able to have any future interac tion or input into the child’s welfare. There exist other situations where we have discovered older deaf persons who have never been exposed to any formal development and who have lived at home, being kept away from the normal activities of social interaction with neighbors and communities. In one such case, we found a twenty eight year old m an still living at hom e. H e was always kept isolated when people would visit and had no form of com m un icatio n w ith his fam ily. Because of the lack of develop m ent of com m unication, the y o u n g m a n h a d o b v io u sly regressed with no attem pt at educating or developing him as a productive m em ber of the family, and he became an object of pity, being treated alm ost like a household pet rather than a hum an being. At the onset, the deaf child is a nor mal, functioning person who, with proper care and effort, could develop into a fully productive individual. As the child grows and as his needs are n o t p ro p e rly a d d ressed through com m unication skills, he senses greater frustrations than do the parents or other family m em bers. W ithout the ability to
com m unicate in words, the child will resort to his own invented methods of relating his needs which manifests itself in actions. Some of these actions, and crying for attention, can easily be mminderstood, and will continue to add to the already excessive frustrations which exist within the family relationship. W e find our greatest task here one of educating the general public to the possibilities which exist for the deaf. Assessing the a r e a ’s d e af p o p u la tio n an d locating them in order to effectively work with the parents and give them options to the parent-child relationship has become our major thrust for this year. M any families of deaf children have known the beauty and joy of such program s. They have been able to grow as a wholefamily unit without excluding the deaf child, but absorbing him more and more into all of the family activities. They have seen their children go on to college and advanced vocational program s. All previous barriers have been overcome and the deaf have taken their rightful place as fully productive m em bers, becoming a source of pride and respect for the whole family. It is our wish that we will see all deaf people elevated to this position, and we are strivingfor that in Appalachia.
RIC O ’CO N N ELL, C A P’s BRIDGE TO T H E N O N HEARING
YOUTH ACTIVITY PROGRAMS By Reverend Ralph Beiting Y outh has always been a con cern for the adult society. A nd, / am sure that the adult society has always been a concern on the part of the young. T here is, as one m an put it, “ a loving hostility” between the two. W hen all things are said, however, it seems to me that this issue is quite simple. T he youth are; our greatest asset. They are what our society will become in a few years. We who are older need not to condemn ‘them or to fin d fault with them, rather we are to love them as much as we can, to correct them, to guide them, and to inspire them always. But, more than anything else, we are to love them and to have confidence in them. In order to accomplish this we m ust do something now to be of value. The very first thing that th e C h ris tia n A p p a la c h ia n Project endeavored to do in 1958, was to set up a camp for children. A camp where they could come to a quiet place along a lake and learn that there were people who would care for them and who would love them . There they would learn some of the joys of simple recreation, such as swim m ing in clean water, paddling a boat, playing a game, eating a good meal, sleeping in a clean bed and enjoying the com panion ship of others in all this. This con cernfor theyoung and the activities that would be of value to them has been a continuing thread that has gone through almost everything the Christian Ap palachian Project has done in a period of 20 years. This year the story is no dif ferent. We have been working with the young even in the w in tertim e, in such things as Bible Schools. Ecumenical sessions have been set up in both Fall and W in ter, and another session is soon to begin in the Spring. Here we bring young people of all walks of life, and all religious persuasions, and some without any. We strive to bind them together in as much as it is humanly
ARTS AND CRAFTS AT M O U N T VERNON BIBLE SCHOOL possible to do so in a common love for God. W e stress the common Fathership of God for us all, and that is the most im portant part of our lives. It is w hat makes us tolerant of each other, and even loving of each other, because God loves us. Therefore, we have no reason not to love one another. The Bible Schools are exciting, and Work on themes of various im portant topics such as the family, Thanksgiving, the joy of C hrist’s salvation at Easter time. All those things that are im por tant in life. In the Bible Schools we have not only periods of study but young people also have the excitement of singing, the enr joym ent of putting on plays, and d e m o n stra tin g v ario u s bible stories that thay have learned. In addition to that, arts and crafts are a part of the activity each time they assemble together. It goes without saying that there would be some means of refreshment, So the ever present kool-aid, the almost universal peanut butter andjelly are a part of this program. We find them exciting and in the sum m ertim e we are involved in several major Bible Schools that go on for weeks at a time. But it is a part of our youth activity.
W e have also been extensively involved in G arrard C ounty with a group of young men that we call the ecBishops. ” It is prim arily of black m em bership, but 20% at least of the enrollm ent is white, and we find it an extremely effec tiv e m ean s o f c u ltiv a tin g C hristian tolerance. W e find the blacks not threatened, and the whites understanding a little more what it means to be a m inority. In their weekly ac tivities, they can discuss openly their problems and needs. If they need to be contradicted, we do so, and if they need to be tem pered in their views of what is ju st or fair, we are not afraid to do this. As a consequence the young people know that we are sincere, and that we care, and a great deal of progress has been made in a critically sensitive area. W e feel it has brought a m inority group into the m ainstream of what is good in Am erican life. , In the sum m ertim e we will be working with our youth camps again, and with the handicapped in cam ping activities, too. We even utilize the waning w arm th of Fall days, and the sometimes bleakness of W inter for such youth activity. The youth are not 13
forgotten, and we are trying desperately to invest time and care in them with the hope and realization that nothing is repaid quite as much as love is. H ow ever, our love for the youth is not a condescending love, b ut a creative love that brings out in them the best that they have. It challenges them , to be better than they w ant to be. For them to d re a m , p e rh a p s , th e “ im possible” dream , as they realize that it is not really that impossible after all. A man said once that a child is God’s way of saying to the human race that he hasfaith in his goodness. T h at is why H e allows new m em bers to be constantly born and brought into existence. We believe that the youth are our guarantee for a better tomorrow. And we feel that working with them in a consistent and loving, yet firm, basis, is one of the best ways to insure that thefuture will be in good hands.
MATERIAL NEEDS FOR 1980 Used automobiles that can be employed in our program o f visiting handicapped or retarded children. We would prefer o f course cars that still have some life in them, and fo r use in transporting people to various health facilities throughout our area. We also need vehiclesfo r use in our Child Development Centers, where some children must be brought into school and taken home in the afternoon. The “ out-reach” programs o f CAP, visiting the elderly and other people in the rural areas, learning o f their needs and helping them, also need vehicles. Other areas where we could use assistance are in donations o f “p a in t,” fo r use in our various remodeling and building programs. “ Carpeting” is also neededfor the same purpose. “Athletic equipment” such as baseballs and bats, volleyballs and basketballs, nets and things o f this nature. “Boats and canoes, ” along with paddles, life jackets and supporting materials are always needed fo r our Summer camping programs. Some kinds o f “ woodworking equipment or instruments” would also be much appreciated, and used in our new programs with the deaf and orthopedically handicapped. Any such contribution you might make would be o f immense help in our efforts, and we would, be most deeply grateful fo r it. Reverend Ralph Beiting Christian Appalachian Project Lancaster, Kentucky 40446
HANDICAPPED PRESCHOOLERS IN FAMILIES, BOTHA “ CROSS” AND A “BLESSING” By Marilyn Stefanski W orking with preschool handi
capped children in their homes has been a growing experience for me, as well as for them . This has been especially true because it has put me in touch with their families. M any of these families have taught me far more than I will ever teach their children. I recall an instance when a m other of a handicapped child was asked, “ W hat has been the heaviest burden your family has had to bear? She replied w ithout hesitation, “ H aving a child in the family undergo go m any operations and so m any hospitalizations. The m other was then asked, “ And what has been the greatest blessing in your family life?” 14
M ARILYN STEFANSKI W ITH H OM EM ADE CHAIR A C H IL D ’S PARENTS B U IL T FOR T H E IR YOUNGSTER BEFORE M ARILYN BEGAN ASSISTING T H EM
She re s p o n d e d ju s t as unhesitatingly, “ H aving a child in the family undergo so m any o p e ra tio n s and so m any (hospitalizations. ’| I think this incident portrays the feeling of m any families who find a handicapped child in their midst. It is both a cross to bear and a blessing. Sharing the experi ence of these families has helped me to realize that although we can’t choose what happens to us, we can choose our attitude toward what has happened. And that makes all the difference. J u st before C hristm as, when most children’s minds are filled with questions about Santa and his reindeer and the contents of brightly wrapped packages, one
little four year old boy who had been once again discharged from the hospital which could do no more asked his dad, “J u st how do you die?” J u st how does one answer such a question “ from the mouths of babes?” Preparing a child to u n derstand this reality is no easy task, considering it is a profound unknow n none of us learn all at once, completely, if ever at all. Incidents such as this have turned me around and made me question whether I have began to think about, and ask the question that a four year old is seeking answers to. It has b een an ag elo n g question why innocent children suffer or are handicapped.
“ O f what use are their lives?” I have h eard some people question. Looking at the attitude of the brother and sisters of one such lit tle girl, I have come to suspect that she has effected more in life than m any of us adults for all our efforts. I see that child calling forth more understanding, u n selfishness, and concern within the family than any parental ad monitions could possibly dictate. Real value cannot always be measured by earthly standards. As one mom put it, “ Not fame, not fortune, not anything can replace w hat that child means to our family. ”
CHILD DE VELOPMENT CENTERS’ IMP A CT ON FAMILIES A n o th e r a re a w h ere a C hristian Appalachian Project p ro g ra m m ig h t n o t seem sp e c ific a lly fa m ily -o rie n te d , although it deals more directly with an aspect of family life, is in our Child Development Centers. In w o rk in g w ith young preschoolers, developing their social and academic skills and em phasizing Christian values and behavior at all times, this program provides positive input to the families of these children. At times, as with the Christm as Plays the children put on at the centers this past D ecem ber, evidence of this influence is readily apparent. For the plays, m any of the parents and some older brothers and sisters attend ed. C e rta in ly , some of the m otivation for coming to the play would have been ju st to see their child or younger sibling in a “ p lay ,” not too much unlike one a kindergarten class in the public school would be putting on. | But the care, attention, and C hristian spiritual emphasis the dedicated CA P Child Develop m ent C enter teachers and aides give to these plays, as they con
PRESCHOOLER AT LANCASTER C H IL D D EV ELO PM EN T CENTER ENJOYING ICECREAM tinuously give to the overall program , makes the difference. Reverend Beiting’s article in the Christm as issue, “ Thank You for Giving God to my Boy, ” is an example of that. After the play at one of the Centers, a father, who is trying to raise his son himself after his wife left th e m ,3came up to Reverend Beiting and made that statement. This is ju st one example of the impact these cen ters can have on the families of
the children, but should give an idea of what we are trying to say in this article. if| n the Berea Child Develop m ent C enter, Ellen Burke, who is director there and is also C oor dinator of all the Centers, makes a concerted, effort to involve the parents in the program to increase this effect. As .mentioned previously in an article in Soundings, most parents of the children who at-| tend the Berea Development 15
C enter cannot afford to pay even the modest sum CA P charges to cover some of the costs of the operation. But most of them do have skills, tim e, and a desire to help. Ellen therefore assesses each family so m any hours a year in helping with the C en ter’s operation. This unique approach to the problem serves several purposes in reducing costs by using parental skills and tim e for activity-supervision, cleaning, food preparation, and even p aint ing and carpentry necessary in the building. But this also directly involves the families in what the Development Center is all about, and in so doing it extends the “develop ment” directly into the child’sfamily. At the other C enters, too, with M ike M orrissey in Stanford and K athleen Ford in Lancaster, p a re n ta l involvem ent is e n couraged and welcomed. W hen M ike or K athleen, or one of their teachers or aides, talks about a child to you they will readily tell you where theyoungster lives, what kind of a family environment he or she comes from, whether or where the parents
PRAYING TO G ETH ER AT BIBLE SCHOOL very real sense. Children can, and work, etc., etc. It is this kind of an should, bind a family together and “ out-reaching” and com prehen provide the purpose, the objective, the sive awareness of each of the life goal of its members. By focusing children in each of the C enters on these children, .but as m em that insures optim um im pact on bers of families that are known the family as a result of the focus and im portant to the CA P people on these young preschoolers. in the C enters, we feel a W e feel, th e re fo re , q u ite significant contribution to that p o sitiv e ly , th a t th ese Child family strength is being made. Developm ent C enters are also providing family development, in a
MARRIAGE PREPARATION AND ENRICHMENT By Reverend Ralph Beiting M ore than a year ago I went to visit a young couple who were operating a small motel up on the hill overlooking R enfro V alley. It was called the Scenic View. A nd it was well nam ed, because the view was spectacular. As a con sequence of this visit, we entered into negotiations w here the C hristian A ppalachian Project p u rc h a se d the Scenic V iew M otel. O u r plans were to house here our M arriage Encounter and F a m ily E n ric h m e n t program s. It would be a place where retreats could be held, marriage coun selling given, and seminars conducted, with a library established and a learning center made a part of all of this. In the beginning it was merely a dream , but as 1980 works its way to m aturity we are Finding 16
that those dream s are more a reality. T he 17 rooms that were originally the whole motel are refu rb ish ed an d refu rn ish ed . Besides this we have added on one large m eeting room which enables us to conduct various training sessions at the Enrich m ent C enter. W e have under construction two m ajor additions t6 that facility that is going to enable it to be a first class facility in an swering family needs as well as related services. O ne wing of 3000 square feet is being added that will include a kitchen and a large dining area. In addition to this, three small m eeting rooms and rest rooms will be a part of that addition. It will enable us^to have general meetings in which more than 200 people can be
seated and served. The other wing being added will include additional rooms so that we will be able to accommodate as m any as 24 couples on a weekend. Besides the additional rooms, we also are building a library, a chapel, and offices to handle the business of the center. O u r Final addition will be living quarters for the per m anent staff who will be residing here and caring for the activities that take place. Despite the W inter and snows that accom panied it, we have been m aking steady progress. By the tim e April 1st. comes along we fully expect that our facilities« will be operational and ready t<l serve the people that we have in m ind. Already various groups have been using the facilities despite their unfinished nature, and despite the dif-
ficulties that construction offers. V arious church groups, both Catholic and Protestant have been using it as a m eeting center. | State agencies have come and used it as a planning center for their activities to serve the people of the Kentucky area. W e’ve had different youth groups coming, and a list too long to elaborate on at the present time who have found it an ideal location and the facilities very much to their liking. These groups enter into serious discussions on topics that deal not always directly with family life, but nevertheless have a very deep relationship to this. We look forward to having this totally completed, because this sense of peace, these beautiful surroundings, are all well designed, both by God and by ourselves, to allow marriage to assume a sense of importance that perhaps it hasn’t had for some time. The old adage that an ounce of preven tion is worth a pound of cure has been very much in our mind. T h at is why we are so anxious to involve those who are not as yet m arried in the work of the C en ter. Both in retreats for young people before they’re seriously considering m arriage with a p ar ticular individual, as well as the im m e d ia te p re p a ra tio n for m arriage for those who arp engaged. These shall be a great part of our planning and we feel that we will have a great deal to offer them .
Besides the m arriage enrich m ent program s and the study and discussion for those who are working with m arried groups throughout the wider area of A p palachia, we fully believe the facilities can be used during the su m m e rtim e s for fam ily vacations. H ere a family can come and stay at our facilities for a week or two weeks, or whatever period they find desirable. We believe that they can be renewed in spirit as well as body in our A ppalachain setting. W e’d hope that they would want to see some of the work that we are doing with the families of Eastern K en
tu c k y : re m o d e lin g h o m es, helping with farm ing projects, etc. Perhaps their time of relaxation would bring them into contact with others and make them conscious of the fact that they belong to an even larger family, thefamily of man. So m any exciting things can come out of this building. So m uch new love can be generated in this center. Sometimes I have to pause in prayer and ask God to let it all come about soon. The good that this might do, could be just what is needed to bring us back to those good old days when love and devotion, patience and loyalty were the rule rather than the exception.
NEW A D D IT IO N TO OLD “ SCENIC VIEW M O T E L ’’ FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION AND E N R IC H M E N T CENTER
CAP’s ADULT HANDICAPPED PROGRAM EFFECTS FAMILY LIFE, TOO Jack H eyne, our C oordinator for Adult H andicapped Services, has energetically built up and ex panded this program from a bare beginning little over a year ago into a multi-faceted operation today. In past issues of “ Sound ings” we have described m any of these activities and Jack himself has w ritten several articles on his program . In most such descrip tions, how ever, for obvious
reasons, we tend to focus on the handicapped person as an in dividual. In term s of the im mediate value of various aspects of the program , like the W ork Activities that Jack has gotten started, this is very definitely the focus. But any such constructive and innovative developments in working with the adult handicapped will also, almost inevitably, have positive spinoff effectsfor theirfamily life, too.
W hen one has been unable, perhaps for years, to find gainful employm ent because of some or thopedic handicap, it can be dam aging to self-confidence, selfimage, and any kind of a feeling of worth. Such personal attitudes are bound to come out in relationships with the members of o n e’s family, and probably come out in a not too positive m anner. W ith growth and development of 17
personal feelings of value, of being a constructively productive m em ber of society at large again, these family relationships are going to im prove, also. This is ju st one way in which one of G A P’s m any program s, which m ight not really seem fam ily-oriented, does make an on going contribution to more favorable and stable family relationships. C er tainly, the income that m any of J a c k ’s program s generate for his clients can make a difference for their families, however slight it m ight be. But the C hristian A p palachian Project’s central thrust in such endeavors is on develop m ent of inner, spiritual strength, and not on the material aspects of a program. It would certainly seem that it is this very inner strength and spiritual growth for the adult handicapped that will make for far more positive and worthwhile family relationships; Strengthening those family ties which are still relatively intact,
JA C K H E Y N E, COORDINATOR OF C A P’S SERVICES FOR A D U L T H A N D IC A PPE D “whole picture, ” and therefore on and even, in some cases, bringing com plete grow th of an in families back together again dividual. Surely, this complete where the stress and strain were growth must also involve growth as a too m uch in the past. J a c k ’s work family member, too, and therefore w ith they ad u lt h an d icap p ed growthfor the wholefamily. places m uch emphasis on the
SPOUSE ABUSE CENTER By Reverend Ralph Beiting
T H IS IS T H E WAY W E ’D PREFER FAM ILIES; TO G ETH ER FOR PIC N IC AT RENFRO VALLEY 18
At the present time, we have very visible centers in both L an caster and in M ount V ernon, where the people know that if they come they will be listened to and their needs will be answered if at all possible. For thirty years these centers have been open to them , both in the C hurch as well as at CAP. In consequence there is hardly a week goes by that there isn’t someone who comes and tells us a story of woe, of worry, and of heartache. Sometimes it is as serious as one of our acquaintances having killed someone, as has happened on two occasions within the last m o n th . D rin k in g w as th e prim ary cause of it. Some of them began to drink too m uch and as a consequence got into argum ents
that resulted in actual killings. O ther times people came to us because of their children, who nave gotten into trouble for stealing and are in jail. C an we help them? O r that they are w ithout resources, could we please assist them? The whole spec trum of human hurt is displayedfor us, almost without fa il each week, and could we do something to alleviate it, to bring some sort of healing to it. I suppose in no other area do we feel as inclined to assist as in the area when a person comes and is badly abused by their m arried partner. Almost without fail it is the wom an who is the vic tim of this. A lthough on several occasions we have had men corne and complain of being physically abused by their wives. But to see a woman, usually the mother of small children, with blackened eyes and a bruised face, coming and crying that this has happened to them as a con sequence of their married partner’s ac tion, fills you with a great deal of remorse. They tell you of their fear, of their dread of going hom e, and yet of their frustration of not knowing w hat else they can do. Sometimes they’re ashamed to go to their own families and tell them what has happened. They are people who hurt so badly and have so few opportunities to have that hurt even listened to. W e have dealt with these situations and are dealing with them now on a tem porary basis, furnishing at times some shelter for a day. But we realize that there m ust be more serious an swers given if we are truly to lead to solutions. A nd so it is we are building at the present time, a Spouse Abuse shelter on our facilities at Renfro Valley. We would be able to accommodate as m any as two or three mothers and their children at one time. W hile this may not be needed all at one time, nevertheless the ^facilities are there because at times emergencies do arise. We have at the present time a direc tor of this operation who has had a sizeable am ount of experience in dealing with women. Sister
SISTER LYN HERLEY, O .P ., W IT H CAP AS A V O L U N T E E R T H IS YEAR A N D , WE H O PE, BACK AS AN EM PLOYEE -N E X T YEAR. \ . Lyn Herley, O .P . is our director Families,.0f^;fr^0ffpmily is the one in for this im portant work. We f e e l ! which we were bqrn^ •a n d . so in this that there is a great deal that we can d o center \we bring the parents and to heal this problem. Too often in our other family m em bers in to see society today when one.person is a vie- h o w ‘they -may help and support tim, the natural tendency is to turn to now this injured party. The second lawyers and say, well let’s punish the family of course is the one that was enone who has inflicted this hurt. Let US' \ tered. into as a consequence of marriage, separate from the one w h o ’has arid so there may be a num ber of done this thing. Let us be done things about the husband that are w ith th is c o n tra c t th a t is not understood and he may need m arriage. help as much as the injured party We do not feel that this is ne'eds help. So we work with him , necessarily the reasonable response. We too^ to see how we can reestablish feel that most definitely the hurting must stop and that the abuse must end. But that there must be love put back in their place. W e believe If you know someone who would that the feeling this couple had like to receive the Soundings each for themselves when they first en- m onth, have them complete this tered into m arriage can be recap- form, enclose $4.00 for a y e ar’s tured. And even be built upon subscription and send it to us. and become more exciting than it O r, if you’d like to give someone ever was before. O u r hope in the a y ear’s subscription as a gift, spouse abuse center is that we not complete this form and send it in merely give shelter and protec- with $4.00 yourself, tion to the innocent party, and a time to regroup their thoughts N a m e ----------------- — — _ _ _ _ _ and make sensible decisions for the future. But that we actively work Address ------------------ :---- ' with them and with the other partner in the marriage, to try and build the kind C ity ---- ---------------Z ip -------------of family life and relationship that is needed to bring them to happiness. Send to: We go on a very simple premise in this work with the Christian Appalachian Project spouse abuse center, and that is Kentucky River Soundings that God gave to each of us Three Lancaster, Kentucky 40446
that spirit of love and bond of friendship. Finally, we feel that God Himself gave to us a thirdfamily, and that family is the church, the spiritual family. And so we endeavor to in volve the m inister, of whatever faith or religion the people are, to enter in with these folks in a counseling way, in order that they may achieve this peace and grace of God. W e believe sincerely that we are adding a dimension at our Spouse Abuse Centers that is not found at ones that are established by states or federal agencies, or by philanthropic groups. The con cept of Christ is being brought into ours. We sincerely believe that it will be a healing presence. It will enable us to reconstitute these hurting families in such a way that they will be able to live in peace and dignity with one another. A brighter hope for the future of this Spouse Abuse Center is that it will not merely bring help to those we im
OLD AND YOUNG ENJOYING ONE ANO TH ER, W HAT ELSE ARE FAM ILIES ALL ABOUT? mediately treat, but that the progress made here and the example shown here could be a light that others could use in
other parts of the country to achieve similar results.
Kentucky River N O N -P R O F IT O R G A N IZ A T IO N U . S. P O S T A G E
P AI D Christian Appalachian Project
Christian Appalachian Project Kentucky River Soundings Lancaster, Kentucky 40446
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