MIND OVER MATTER Talking about my experience with mental health in an attempt to educate

By Khalil Gillespie Editor-In-Chief

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which opens the door to talk about the stigmatized topics surrounding mental health disorders.

Disorders such as Bipolar Disorder are constantly misrepresented in the media. These false narratives have surrounded the conversation of mental health and deceived viewers as to what it’s actually like to have these disorders. Understanding the countless amounts of misinformation surrounding these disorders is vital. Movies such as the “Silver Lining Playbook” and “Empire” essentially romanticize the disorder rather than provide a real portrayal of it, further muddying the waters for those who do not experience it.

As someone who experiences this disorder, I understand what it is like to live with such a serious disorder as well as the importance of breaking down those barriers so that we, as a society, can move forward with treating and helping those who need support. You have to learn the basics of this disorder and be able to differentiate from other types of mental issues to truly comprehend it. Bipolar is a disorder where the person will experience extreme euphoric highs called mania and extremely low bouts of depression, regardless of if they are going through an episode or not. Bipolar disorder can include behaviors such as impulsively dying one’s hair, cutting it, or going on a shopping spree to other manic traits. As someone with this disorder, I know it is much more complicated than that.

Some may not know, but Bipolar disorder is broken up into two types, type one and type two. Type one is diagnosed after someone experiences a manic episode that lasts longer than one to two weeks. To diagnose type two, the person must at least experience a hypomanic episode, which lasts about three to four days. While they are going through an episode, these experiences are extremely heightened.

When people who have not experienced this think about a “heightened” state, their idea usually does not correlate with the severity of what we are experiencing while going through these episodes. It is not just being impulsive or having high energy, it’s wearing your body out past the point of exhaustion and doing really irrational and unsafe things because unlike you normally would, you can’t see a reason not to.

For me, my last episode was a mixed episode that lasted about two to three weeks, where I was switching back and forth from depression to mania and ended up spending close to 700 dollars. Then, when the episode ended, I was filled with a lot of numbness, guilt, and disappointment in the things I took part in.

What people don’t understand is what happens to your sense of control during an episode. Outside of an episode my brain is clear, I’m level-headed and able to act and think rationally. However, when I am manic, my entire mindset and attitude change.

To understand mania, imagine the most euphoric exhilarating feelings of your life constantly going for days on end, regardless of how tired your body physically feels. For people who have never experienced this type of episode, this may sound like fun, but while it causes high energy, it also makes you think recklessly, like this high will never come down. Something that’s always stuck with me is that the highs are high, but the lows are incredibly low.

Another hallmark of the disorder is depression. Depression with bipolar disorder differs from a regular depressive moment in that it comes with these overwhelming, heavy emotions that get dangerously low. For me, I get thoughts that convince me that this state has always existed and that it is permanent. For many, the disorder completely flips your mind around and makes it hard to remain consistent.

People with this disorder will realistically be on medication for the majority of their life because, without it, they risk entering an episode. During manic episodes, we are highly impulsive, more inclined to spend large amounts of money, engage in unsafe sexual behavior, and have extreme amounts of energy, despite a lack of sleep. Like me, many people with this disorder experience extreme shifts in moods, and constant irritability. For me personally, my early warning signs for an episode can be stopping my meds and thinking that they are not working or that I am fine, so I do not need them.

In order to improve, everyone, whether they experience this or not, must fight back on the stigma surrounding talking about mental health disorders by talking about them. We must listen to and amplify the voices of those with the disorder and experts on it and learn to get comfortable interrupting and addressing those who are misrepresenting the disorders.

Mental health struggles can be very difficult to manage and it can take years for people to finally be able to lead a normal and happy life. While I can not speak for everyone, for me personally, being bipolar affects my life in significant ways. Although it’s a hassle sometimes, it helps me to explain what it is and what it’s like to those around me. For me when I am surrounded by supportive people who have been educated on my experience, it ensures that I have a support system that I know I can trust when I’m going through an episode. Sometimes it truly is just the little things that make a difference, making sure we do not skip our meds, we are sleeping at a normal time, and avoiding bad decisions. Even if you don’t think that you know anyone with a mental disorder, educating yourself and maintaining an open mind to hear the experiences of those impacted allows you to have a better grasp of the issues that impacted people may face. You might be surprised to find that someone in your life is struggling with this or another mental health disorder and by educating yourself, you can be better equipped to understand and support them. For more information and research, visit the website of the National Alliance on Mental Illness or NAMI for short.