Understanding

Poetry Victoria von Saucken

Fascination and compassion held us together once, I witnessed your grief, anger and dwindling hope. Connection seemed true and strong as knowledge tightened our resolve for answers and hands across the table. Words had changed meaning for you like trees do from fall to winter, All I wanted was to understand you.

I knew only what I could see before me -- a glimpse of you and your disease. You molded me into your champion and I fought, For knowledge and your suffering to end. Learning to care for another as their world slowly turns hazy, That taught me your suffering.

“Memory loss” weighs on me every night before falling asleep, I understand the growing dark spaces where memories once existed, Plans for five days let alone five minutes from now lost in today’s lens. It is May yet the calendar still stays March, Losing grip on belonging somewhere, everything old turning to new again.

I recall the many times I applauded you for your strength. How I did not realize your power till I beheld the everyday fight in her. To fight while knowing what is lost will continue to unravel is heartbreaking courage. Fear and sorrow expressed in eyes once foreign, now familiar to me is the greatest pain and motivation for this path I chose years ago in meeting you.