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2020 Wake County Bar Awards: The Show Must Go On! ORDER OF PROCEEDINGS Show Introduction - Special Guest #1, Yvonne Armendariz & Day Matthews Online Jury Selection Day 1 Fauci - Sung by Sam Fleder & Julia Dixon Presentation of the Golden Limine for Dr. Fauci Presentation of the Golden Limine for Dr. Mandy Cohen Doctor Mandy Cohen - Sung by Sean Timmons Online Jury Selection Day 3 Presentation of the Golden Limnine to Recently Retired Judge Robert Rader Filler - Sung By Neubia Harris Staff Life in the Time of Pandemic Presentation of the John Mabe Golden Limine to John Mabe Ukraine - Sung by Jay Trehy Online Jury Selection Day Whatever Presentation of the Golden Limine to Chief Justice Cheri Beasley A Word of Thanks - Sarah Privette, Bar Awards Chair Presentation of the Golden Limine to Victor Boone Show Close & Credits - Special Guest #2, Yvonne Armendariz & Day Matthews
The Show Head Writer Sean “Chert tebya!” Cole
Musical Director Sean “Also A Music Video Editor” Timmons
Director/Cat Herder Sarah “I Will Hunt You Down, Seans” Privette Hosts Yvonne Armendariz Day Matthews
Performers Carmen Bannon (Jurors #4, #762, #12463) Seth Blum (Jurors #1, #760, #12460) Sean Cole (Jurors #5, #761, #12464) Benji Jones (Jurors #2, #763, #12462) Ned Mangum (as himself) Angel Farag Craddock (Juror #3) Evin Grant (Juror #764) Fred Morelock (as himself)
The Socially Distanced Band Tim Carraway, Guitar John Cathcart, Drums Sean Timmons, Bass Guitar/Lead Guirtar
Singers
Julia Dixon Sam Fleder Neubia Harris Sean Timmons Jay Trehy
Fauci (to the tune of “Aime” by Pure Prairie League) I can see why Trump’s afraid to let you speak He doesn’t like to be upstaged by one who’s smarter or shorter than he But this virus, it is real, and he’s undone He thought he’d wave a magic wand and poof it’s gone. FAU-CI, what we need from you? Stats, facts, just tell us the truth For a while, maybe longer, if you could You say that we need a testing strategy? Masks and gloves, some PPE, but we don’t need hy-drox-y-chlor-o-quine Thank you Fauci, We should stand 6 feet apart, or stay home We need to stop the spread and flat-ten the curve (need to stop the spread you say?) FAU-CI, what we need from you? Stats, facts, just tell us the truth For a while, maybe longer, if you could Well now, FAU-CI, what we need from you? Stats, facts, just tell us the truth For a while, maybe longer, if you could Brook-lyn born, (pause) NYC to NIH Led the world in public health, expert for 50-years And here you are Standing next to Trump you try not to gasp When he says Lysol or light sets the virus free Ly-sol and light (fast) set the vir-us free? FAU-CI, what we need from you? Stats, facts, just tell us the truth For a while, maybe longer, if you could (Longer if you could, yeah now) FAU-CI, what we need from you? Stats, facts, just tell us the truth For a while, maybe longer, if you could Don’t know what we’d do without you Don’t know what we’d do without you Don’t know what we’re gonna do, Don’t know what we’d do without Without you
Doctor Mandy Cohen (to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger”) Covid’s here, out on the streets How can we, boost our chances? Need to stay safe till we’re back on our feet Who will stand up and help us survive? So many want, to re-open too fast Without thinking of safety Can’t lose our grip, ‘cause the danger’s not past Roy Cooper knows who’ll keep us alive It’s our own Mandy Cohen, in the fight of our lives Risin’ up to the challenge of Corona She’s makin’ us survivors ‘cause she’s guiding us right So we’re hangin’ on to every word, from Doc Cohen Bug did not die in Summer’s heat How ‘bout we look to science? “Stop the spread” are some words we can heed Masked up, socially distant compliance It’s our own Mandy Cohen, in the fight of our lives Risin’ up to the challenge of Corona She’s makin’ us survivors ‘cause she’s guiding us right So we’re hangin’ on to every word, from Doc Cohen Flattenin’ out, numbers look good ‘Cause we listened to her, now Go the distance, now we will not stop She’s showin’ us just how to survive It’s our own Mandy Cohen, in the fight of our lives Risin’ up to the challenge of Corona She’s makin’ us survivors ‘cause she’s guiding us right So we’re hangin’ on to every word, from Doc Cohen Thank you, Doctor Cohen Thank you, Doctor Cohen Thank you, Doctor Cohen Thank you, Doctor Cohen
Filler (to the tune of “Thriller” by Michael Jackson) It’s twenty-twenty And something evil’s lurking in the dark A murder hornet A sight that almost stops your heart The Tiger King Pounces after sports and concerts shut down You hoard T P Even steal it from the can at Best Buy, Don’t try to lie! ‘Cause here’s a filler, filler song And no one’s gonna save you from the insanity going on You know it’s filler, filler song You’re fighting for your life during twenty-twenty, tonight, yeah And forget Wuhan We all were much more wrapped up in Megxit In California Will wildfires ever let them see the sun And Australia Don’t forget that they burned down this year too And Trump was impeached It feels like that happened in ancient times Plus we’re outta dimes! ‘Cause here’s a filler, filler song And no one’s gonna save you from the insanity going on You know it’s filler, filler song You’re fighting for your life during twenty-twenty, tonight, yeah War with Iran Yeah don’t forget that almost happened too . . . And thousands trapped on cruise ships floating off of Florida There’s no escapin’ the virus from the buffet on Deck Nine (looks like high tide!) We sure had enough of this strife, oh On Super Tuesday Jill Biden threw down with a protestor Yeah I might punch you If you roll up in here without a mask
Now ain’t the time For you and I to cuddle close together, no!! All through the night This sourdough I’m whippin’ up is mean I’ll bake, you see? ‘Cause here’s a filler, filler song And no one’s gonna save you from the insanity going on You know it’s filler, filler song You’re fighting for your life during twenty-twenty, tonight, yeah ‘Cause here’s a filler, filler song And no one’s gonna save you from the insanity going on You know it’s filler, filler song You’re fighting for your life during twenty-twenty, tonight, yeah I’m gonna distance tonight Darkness falls across the land The midnight hour is close at hand Neighbors call in search of paper While we binge some ol’ Don Draper And whosoever shall be found With their freakin’ mask half-down Must stand and face the shame of hell While grabbing curbside at Taco Bell I’m gonna distance tonight Filler, ohh baby (Filler) I’m gonna mask up tonight (Covid night) Filler, all night, oh baby I’m gonna distacne tonight Filler, Filler night (oh baby) You better mask up tonight Filler, all night (oh baby) Filler night (Filler night) The foulest stench is in the air The funk from forty thousand beers And grizzly bears come into town Are plunder snakes from empty dorm rooms And though you fight to stay insde It’s like a van down by the river For no mere mortal can resist The evil of the Filler!!!!!
Ukraine (to the tune of “Cocaine” by Eric Clapton) If you want to hang out, you’ve gotta take Joe out, Ukraine Better get the low down, so Joe I can pound, Ukraine Bring us lies, bring us lies, bring us lies, Ukraine You’ll make ol’ Joe lose, imprison Hunter too, Ukraine Rudy says you’re done, if Bursima’s no fun, Ukraine You can lie, you can lie, you can lie, Ukraine Putin wants Kyiv, to be his own Disneyland, Ukraine Without our own facts, there’s no aid package, Jack, Ukraine So just lie, so just lie, so just lie, Ukraine We’ll just lie, we’ll just lie, we’ll just lie, Ukraine
WCBA Bar Awards Executive Committee Sarah Privette, Chair David Sherlin, Vice Chair Carmen Bannon, WCBA President Sean Cole, Head Writer Sean Timmons, Musical Director David Boaz, Sponsorship John Ward, Sponsorship Jordan Gross Kimberly Miller
Sponsorship Committee David Boaz, Co-Chair John Ward, Co-Chair
Lillie Ashworth Sarah Beth Barnes Rachel Beard Chad Essick Hayes Finley Jordan Gross
James Hash Lee Hogewood Shannon Joseph Kimberly Miller Jacob Morse Rob Rader
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A Brief History of the Golden Limine
T
he most prestigious commendation in the history of local bar associations, the much coveted Golden Limine is named for Lord Ethelbert Athelstan Rumple Budweiser Vortigern Luxury Gofraid Fruitbat Hypotenuse Limine (1543-1839), the much celebrated English Barrister. As recounted by Blackstone in his seminal work Commentaries on the Law of England, Limine’s litigation practices were renowned throughout the British Isles. His signature maneuver was first revealed in a case in which he was defending a man charged with second degree (unpremeditated) shearing of a neighbor’s sheep. Limine arranged to have a horse placed in the audience for the closing arguments, and when the jury returned a verdict of guilty, Limine’s client jumped on the horse and rode out of the courtroom, and indeed the county, before the judge could impose a sentence.
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The Bar Awards: Looking Back 2019 - The Wake County Bar Awards - LIVE! 2018 - The Wake County Bar Awards - The Greatest Show 2017 - The Wake County Bar Awards - Bar Awards X: Rogue Justice 2016 - The Wake County Bar Awards Mentorship. Marsupials. Mirth. 2015 - The Wake County Bar Awards In a Galaxy Far, Far Away 2014 - The Wake County Bar Awards - Idol Edition 2013 - The Wake County Bar Awards Holiday Special 2012 - The LAST* Wake County Bar Awards 2011 – The Second Degree Wake County Bar Awards 2010 - The Very Best Wake County Bar Awards 2009 - The Very Serious Wake County Bar Awards 2008 - The Wake County Bar (and Grill) Awards Even Simon can’t complain about this
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Bar Awards X: Rogue Justice
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The Wake County Bar Awards Wouldn't it be Super if this were a ...
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