Women Beyond Forty - Second Edition

Issue 2

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Cover Art - Secrets of the Heart - Aya Mobaydeen - Page 46

WB40 Magazine acknowledges the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation upon whose lands we live, work and play. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders past, present and emerging.

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Magazine Issue No. 2 Love and Other Catastrophes

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Contents

Dear WB40

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Subscriptions

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Recipes with Sandra Reynolds

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•

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Crispy Skinned Duck Bao

Cover Artist

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She Endeavours

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5 Habits of Self love

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Features

Hearten Up - Heart Health

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National Womans Health Survey

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The Healing of Alex

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Should I Stay or Should I go?

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Between Divorce and dating, pause!

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The Power of Self Love

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Gayle Kennedy: Writing and Growing up in Australia

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The Owl & the Pussycat - A Sanctuary of love

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Inclusive Fashion: What is it and why should we care

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WELCOME Love. A powerful four-letter word that invokes many meanings. Love is something that has become so important in the wake of 2020, a ferocious and unrelenting year that brought with it so many unimagined hardships.

With the dawning of 2021, a new year, we recognise the strength and resilience of women, despite the adversities that were faced. We focus on the incredible acts of kindness and courage throughout 2020 that were witnessed and an unwavering sense of love in the world against an often brutal and ugly backdrop of world politics, racism, loss and uncertainty.

With that sense of love and hope, we bring you Edition 2 – Love and Other Catastrophes. The theme was picked by Sandra Reynolds, our regular columnist and Recipe Queen, who in this edition continues to explore her love of good food, and how food can be an expression of love for others.

As the heart is often used as a symbol for love, this theme also seems fitting given Heart Health Awareness Month is February. So, we’re exploring the importance of heart health and menopause. We all know that Valentine’s Day also falls in February, a day synonymous with either joy or disdain depending on one’s experiences. As love wears many guises, we’re exploring the love we have for our animal companions and the love of inclusive fashion. We look at separation, from a career and a romantic perspective, and of course we embrace the greatest love of all… self-love, something so often overlooked by women.

As International Women’s day arrives in March, we are reminded of why Women Beyond Forty Magazine exists in the first place. It is an ongoing celebration of the hard-won wisdom and the brilliance of women who are 40, 50, 60 and beyond. Shining a light, and creating visibility for women who are proudly sharing their stories , and the journeys of women who are changing the narrative around what we bring to the world. Happy International Women’s Day to you all.

I personally want to send you all some love for supporting the first edition of Wb40, launched in 2020, and on behalf of our team and all those who contributed to our debut. We have been overwhelmed by the kindness and love you have shown to this

little-engine- that-could. Big love to all of our contributors in this edition. Generous, amazing, resilient women who have shared their love of writing with us.

Edition 2 is our love note to all of you, our readers.

Thank you for supporting Wb40, but also for supporting the many female led micro and small businesses showcased in our She Endeavours section.

Without you, none of this would be possible.

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acknowledgments

The Team Founder | Creative Director | Editor Sandy Lowres Design & Layout Michael Smedley | Sandy Lowres Food Editor Sandra Reynolds Fashion Editor Niki Hind Career Columnist Amalia Chillianis Advertising Michael Smedley | Sandy Lowres | Debbie Larson Social Media Debbie Larsen Junior editor | Assistant Paris Lowres

Pay it forward Are you a charity or a not-for-profit supporting women and girls, and need more exposure, donations or volunteers?

Wb40 Magazine is committed to giving away free ad space to such organisations.

This is

completely free. We believe that your invaluable work for women should be supported. This is our way of paying it forward.

For this edition we proudly support: Love Your sister https://www.loveyoursister.org/ Happy Boxes Project https://happyboxesproject.com/

Contact us via email:

info@wb40.com.au

Thankyou

Recycled Paper

Janine Brundle | Founder - Be Oil’d

Digital Printing:

Am.pm communications

https://beoild.com Made Label https://www.madelabel.co Black Inc Books https://www.blackincbooks.com.au/ COPYRIGHT © 2020 All rights reserved. This publication or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means — electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise — without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by Australian copyright law.

WB40 is an independent magazine published bi monthly by: WB40 PO Box 8 Altona Vic 3018 ABN: 658 766 98304

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ISSN: 2652-9556 (Print) ISSN: 2652-9564 (Online)

We thank the writers who have shared their talent for the Wb40 Magazine, also for our website - wb40.com

Sandy Lowres

Kerri Sackville

Marcy Neumann

Amalia Chilianis

Sandra Reynolds

Catherine McKenna

Nikki Hind

Want to write or contribute for wb40?

Head to the website for more details - wb40.com

f @womenbeyondforty l @womenbeyondforty 9

Dear Woman Beyond Forty

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Dear Women Beyond Forty

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OW! What a start to a fabulous publication!

I loved the diversity of the articles from your first issue; from sex clubs to bushfires, this magazine is certainly an unexpected and fabulous edition to my monthly reading.

It’s so refreshing to have a bi-monthly read dedicated to us over 40’s, and I am highly recommending this to all my friends (not just the ones over 40). Keep up the great work Sandy and co!

Kylie Sahb Carns Melbourne - Australia

I have just finished reading your Wb40 Magazine (all in one go, I couldn’t put it down, LOL!) and I’m blown away. Fantastic read with a great mix of articles. What an amazing job you have done. Can’t wait for the next one!

Michelle, Canberra – Australia (via Facebook)

I’m so happy that there is finally a magazine for all us over forty, and even over fifty! I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was surprised by articles like The Hidden Room! It’s so great to read that older women are finding their mojo. I’m single but this made me feel like maybe you can teach an old bird new tricks!

Pam B., Queensland - Australia

I was really moved reading the Pieces of Me story (by Lisa Westgate). I found it really emotional and brave of her to share such a difficult experience with the world. To everyone who has been through a similar experience in life, and sadly I’m sure there are too many of us, thank you for sharing Lisa’s moving article.

Mel, 47, Perth - Australia

I really enjoyed this magazine!

It’s so great to see a magazine for women who are over forty.

A great mix of articles. Wow! I really enjoyed all of the articles – so much diversity! Thanks for putting this mag out there for all of us. I made the Persian love cake and I really enjoyed it! I’ve subscribed and can’t wait to read more. Congratulations!

Laura T., Sydney – Australia

Thanks so much for everyone who sent us your thoughts! We love and appreciate your feedback!

Email us at: info@wb40.com.au | Add ‘Letter to the Editor’ in the Subject line 11

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Hearten up must know facts about heart attacks and menopause

BY CATHERINE MCKENNA

T

wo years ago, Sharon was feeling fantastic,

“They’re going to think I am wasting their time.”

having finally smashed out a great gym session

Heart trouble did not cross Sharon’s mind until the

after weeks of fatigue. And no wonder! The fit,

cardiac surgeon told her she was having a major

health-conscious 52-year-old had been training in a

heart attack.

new role as executive assistant to a chief government officer and was obviously overloaded and tired. That

Sharon was one of the fifty women who experience

was in the past, thought Sharon as she put petrol

a heart attack each day in Australia.

into her car. She would reward herself with a coffee from her favorite barista at the servo even though

Heart disease, also known as cardiovascular disease

she was experiencing a random bout of heartburn.

(CVD), claims more Australian women’s lives than any other condition.

After

ordering

her

coffee,

Sharon’s

Surprised?

You may be

heartburn

thinking breast cancer kills more women because,

intensified and she started retching and sweating

surely, heart attacks are a man’s disease? In reality

and feeling strangely dissociated f rom her body.

women are two-and-a-half times as likely to die from

Although Sharon couldn’t feel her arms, she

heart disease than breast cancer. In fact, in 2019,

managed to wave her hand at the mention of an

breast cancer claimed eight women’s lives each day.

ambulance. “I remember thinking this is a complete

Heart disease killed 20 women each day!

over-reaction to heartburn,” thought Sharon in the

If you are thinking women’s heart disease has been

ambulance.

flying under the radar, you’re not alone. Risks for heart disease rise sharply after menopause, but

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things get complicated because CVD symptoms

factors for heart disease. Therefore, losing weight

manifest less specifically in women than men.

and staying fit not only reduces the heart disease

Worse, women tend to ignore symptoms and wait

risks but also the symptoms of menopause.

too long to get help. Let’s unpack these factors.

Menopause and age-related heart disease risks such Why does the risk of heart disease rise after

as less elastic blood vessels are unavoidable. Why

menopause? Dr. Sonia Davison is an endocrinologist

then do so many women die f rom heart disease?

with Jean Hailes for Women’s Health and President of the Australasian Menopause Society.

She

explained that not only does oestrogen keep blood vessels more elastic and flexible, but as we age, our arteries naturally become less elastic.

“There is some protective effect of oestrogen and with menopause, there is a great lowering of oestrogen, both normal and natural, and the protective effect is lost. And the arteries are getting stiffer with age.”

The upshot of less compliant blood vessels is threefold. Our hearts must pump harder to move blood around our bodies, the muscle in the heart

Image: Sharon Kort | THE HEART FOUNDATION

thickens and becomes less elastic and we have a slight rise in blood pressure.

The problem for women is that many heart attacks occur without warning or with vague symptoms they

But wait, there’s more. Our bodies change shape

readily attribute to fatigue like Sharon. This is how

with menopause as we tend to deposit weight

40% of heart attacks in women are fatal. Unlike the

around our waists rather than our hips. Abdominal

traditional male symptoms of chest pain, shortness

fat is also associated with an increased risk of CVD

of breath and nausea, women might experience pain

and, unfortunately, more severe symptoms of

in their back, neck, or jaw, heartburn-like sensation,

menopause such as hot flushes and night sweats.

light-headedness, dizziness, fatigue and sweating.

These symptoms could relate to common conditions

Dr Davison points out that carrying added weight

like a virus, over-exertion, or even a hangover!

during menopause is like wearing a coat in hot weather.

Retired school principal, Jenny experienced jaw pain that came and went for months. The active 68-year-

“The coat makes you feel warm and if you have more

old made a note to mention it to her doctor at her

fat, you are more insulated and therefore, if your

half-yearly health check. Soon after, while waiting

core temperature increases with flushes and

to see her accountant, the jaw pain hit hard

sweats, you are more likely to feel it.”

accompanied by sweating. She considered asking

Dr Davison says hypertension, diabetes and obesity

for an ambulance but soldiered on, after all, she had

also increase with age and these are added risk

a job to do. Job done, she

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returned home to rest. “After a couple of hours, it was the same thing, my jaw couldn’t release itself and I had pain between my shoulder blades,” says Jenny.

Fortunately, her husband called the doctor’s surgery and after explaining Jenny’s symptoms, called an ambulance.

Emergency surgery saved Jenny’s life.

Jenny’s desire to finish the job of seeing the accountant made her a textbook candidate for a late-stage heart attack presentation. Research shows women are more likely to finish chores at hand when experiencing vague heart attack symptoms than seek medical assistance.

Interestingly, Sharon also experienced ongoing jaw pain in the weeks leading up to her heart attack. She didn’t see a dentist because she couldn’t identify the troublesome tooth, so vague was the pain. It’s no wonder these vague and, in the early stages, not inconvenient symptoms don’t have women rushing off to hospital. A 2012 study reported that 42% of women having heart attacks had no chest pain. Worse, the lack of chest pain was associated with increased death due to women presenting with different symptoms.

Why do women’s symptoms present differently to men?

Dr Karen Magraith, GP and President-Elect of the Australasian Menopause Society, says it can be difficult for doctors and women themselves to recognise what are regarded as atypical symptoms.

“This is partly because women have different hearts to men, and partly because we have used men as the ‘benchmark’ for what we think of as the usual symptoms of heart disease. Women have traditionally been under- represented in CVD research, but this is starting to change now. Further research and education are needed in this area.”

Our hearts and heart attack symptoms may be different to those of men, but our risk factors of heart disease are

Image: Jenny McAuliffe | THE HEART FOUNDATION

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not. Shared risk factors we can control are smoking,

In fact, today is the perfect time to think about your

being overweight, having high blood pressure and

heart health because February is Red Feb, heart

high cholesterol

disease awareness month. Also, think of your loved

and being physically inactive.

ones by looking after yourself. “Just remember to look after yourself,” says Sharon, “and remember

Doctor Magraith says, “Some women will require

heart disease is the biggest killer of women in this

medication to reduce their cardiovascular risk but

country... because we ignore our symptoms.”

for many women the most important thing is their

Jenny’s message is similar. She has learnt not to be

lifestyle.”

stoic with pain because you are no use to the people you love.

Do you think your lifestyle is healthy enough to reduce your risk factors? Here are some surprising

“If I get a niggle, I won’t put it off,” she says. “If your

risks of CVD. Research shows that complications

heart is not healthy, you can’t love. Your heart is the

during pregnancy like pre-eclampsia and gestational

centre of your being.”

diabetes may increase the risk of heart disease later in life.

There are two simple ways to reduce your risk of heart disease before and after menopause. Firstly, maintain a healthy lifestyle and two, have regular health checks. The Heart Foundation recommends all women aged 45+ years (30+ for Indigenous Australian women) see their GP for a Medicare-funded Heart Health Check to learn your CVD and stroke risk. Also, check out the Jean Hailes for Women’s Health website. https://www.jeanhailes.org.au

About the Author Catherine McKenna is the author of Ina’s Story: The Memoir of a Torres Strait Islander Woman, and My Island Homicide. She is an Accredited Exercise Scientist with a passion for empowering busy women over 40 to lead their healthiest lives.

Believing life makes more sense upside down, Catherine is committed to nailing the perfect handstand.

Happy

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The National Women’s Health Survey 2020

BY CATHERINE MCKENNA

The Australian health system is lauded as one of the best in the developed world, providing safe and affordable healthcare for all. So, it is surprising that 15.3% of respondents to the sixth Jean Hailes for Women’s Health national survey reported they could not afford health care when they needed it. Further, 31.1% of women in rural and remote areas could not get medical appointments when they needed one.

The national, not-for-profit organisation released the survey results in December 2020 providing insights into women’s health experiences, needs and behaviours. The aim of the survey is to identify emerging issues and trends and inform health promotion to best respond to the health and information needs of women.

The survey sample was older and had higher levels of education compared to the general female population in Australia.

Forty-eight percent of respondents were aged between 45 and 64 years, compared to the population cohort, 31.3%.

Almost two-thirds of respondents held an undergraduate or higher degree, double the national figure. Two-thirds of women lived in major cities and the remainder in rural or remote areas.

It is acknowledged the results are not reflective of all women. Limitations include the need to have English and computer literacy, the limited response from women of Change to Culturally and Linguistically Diverse (CALD) and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander backgrounds and that many respondents were likely to be health conscious and motivated to participate.

Key findings include results of weight and physical activity

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(PA) status. More than half of respondents described their current weight as overweight (43.7%) or obese (12.4%). For comparison, in 2017-18, 29.6% of women were overweight and 30.2% were obese nationally.

Sixty percent of respondents reported doing at least 2.5 hours of moderate PA per week which is the recommend minimum. This compares neatly with the national 2017-18 rate of 59% of women meeting the recommendation for PA. Survey respondents who were overweight or obese were more likely to be physically inactive, compared with healthy weight respondents. Being active helps maintain a healthy weight but also confers a host of other health benefits.

Organisations. “This survey demonstrates that for women with disability the results are particularly poor when compared to the results for those without disability, and again highlights the well documented ongoing disadvantage they face daily. We also know that similar disadvantage exists for girls and young women with disability.”

On LGBTIQ, 8.3% identified as LGBTIQ with 0.7% transgender and 0.3% intersex. In terms of sexual orientation, 7% of respondents identified as bisexual or lesbian. The 2018 Australian Population Studies reported 3.4 per cent of females described themselves as non-heterosexual. This figure excluded survey participants who refused to answer the sexual identity question or who replied, ‘don’t know’ so this national figure could be higher.

Romola Hollywood, Director of policy and advocacy, People with Disability Australia says, “We have known for some years that women and girls with disability disproportionately experience higher rates of violence, including sexual violence, than our non-disabled peers.”

The importance of providing identified health information and services to LGBTIQ women cannot be overstated.

“What we often see is a generalist response and our communities fall through the net because we know from our data that LGBTI women and communities prefer to access services that are highly skilled in meeting their health needs,” says Nicky Bath, CEO of the National LGBTI Health Alliance.

In relation to disability, nearly 10% of respondents lived with a disability which is lower than the 17.8% of Australian women who have identified as having a disability.

The survey reported 39.1% of women with a disability could not afford healthcare when needed and 32.7% could not get an appointment when required. Nearly half considered their health poor or very poor and 18.9% reported being in a controlling partner relationship.

“This is an important study which sheds light on key health issues, trends, concerns and outcomes,” said Ross Joyce, CEO of Australia Federation of Disability

Measures of intimate partner domestic violence were included for the first time. Disturbingly, 23.9% of women in a relationship or in contact with an ex-partner in the past 12 months experienced some forms of intimate partner violence. Controlling partners comprised 11.1% of relationships and the figure for women with a disability was higher, 18.9%.

Mr Joyce says, “These results are a disgrace and we all need be held accountable to do more and address these key health issues for all women and for women with disability in particular.”

In relation to COVID-19, 33.6% of respondents reported worse health than before COVID-19. This was pronounced in women aged 25-44, those with a disability, and LGBTIQ women, with more than 40% reporting worse health than before COVID-19. In fact, over 50% of women reported that their ability to access healthcare services had been affected in some way by the COVID-19 restrictions.

Timely and affordable access to health services is essential for all women, including the 43.5% of women aged 45-64 years who sought information about menopause. Over a third of women in this age group also wanted information about weight management and anxiety.

Women’s interest in health information changed with age. The three top health topics of women aged 6574 years were bone health and osteoporosis, weight management and healthy eating and nutrition. For women 75+ years, the top four areas of interest were bone health and osteoporosis, bladder health, dementia, and incontinence.

Information about women’s health, including healthy ageing, sex and sexual health and anxiety is found on the Jean Hailes for Women’s Health website. Online information will not solve the problem of the high number of respondents who were unable to afford health care when they needed it. However, the survey enables women to have their say, and policy and health providers respond to their needs and concerns.

Photo by Dan Gold on Pexels

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The healing of Alex A mother’s dream for her son

BY SANDY LOWRES

Trigger Warning- Child Abuse, Abuse, Trauma.

L

eceta Chisholm Guibault is determined to give her son Alex the life she knows he deserves, in Canada, living in their cottage home on Lake Mush-a-Mush along Nova Scotia’s southern shore, with her husband Jean and their children. This life however is a stark contrast to the journey of her adopted son, Alex.

Leceta and Jean adopted their daughter Kahleah from Guatemala in 1991, and their son Tristan in 1994 in Medellin, Colombia. Guatemalan- born Alex, a handsome man with a broad white smile, was 19 years old when he met Leceta, the woman who would become his mother.

Alex has survived a brutal childhood in Guatemala and is now healing with the help of his family. Until he was seven, he was forced to work in fields by his biological parents, until the unthinkable happened, and Alex was sold to someone else for $2000. Alex struggles to recall his life prior to that age. With Leceta’s help, he was able to find his biological family. His siblings confirmed that their parents had indeed sold Alex to an organ harvester.

“The first memory that I had was somebody kicking me on the stomach. I got up quickly and started to look around. I

Alex and his mum Leceta

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didn’t know what was happening,” Alex says.

He remembers he was tied to a pole attached to his ankle and an adult numbered the eleven children he was with; Alex was Number 6. He learned the adults planned to kill them and sell their organs on the black market. Alex managed to escape to the streets of Guatemala City.

Alex remembers there were a lot of gangs and prostitutes. He spent at least a year on those streets, starving and doing inhalants. He witnessed a lot of violence.

In 2019 a report by the Non-Profit organisation, the Borgen Project, claimed of the approximately 50,000 sex trafficking victims reported in Guatemala, almost 60 percent are children. The report showed that it was very common to see girls as young as 12 years old working in brothels and being forced to have sex with large numbers of customers each day.. Alarmingly, with the high number of children being sold for sex trafficking, the revenue is equivalent to 2.7 percent of Guatemala’s gross domestic product (GDP).

When he was nine, a police officer took Alex to an orphanage. While he should have found a haven in the American run orphanage, Alex survived years of unrelenting physical, verbal and sexual abuse. Like all children, he simply wanted a place to belong and feel safe. He prayed and he cried a lot, hoping for a family to save him.

The orphanage director told him he was too ugly and too stupid to be adopted. The haunting childhood picture of Alex with blood on his nose and a crooked smile was taken to be included in a thank-you card

one Christmas for an American sponsor. Alex remembers the day that picture was taken. His “dorm parents” had held him down and beaten him, and then shaved his head. Immediately after they made him stand up, demanded he stop crying and look grateful. As a vulnerable child, Alex believed he had to do as they said. At the age of 18, Alex was told to leave the orphanage.

It was on a visit to Guatemala in 2012 that a chance meeting between Leceta and Alex would change the course of both of their lives. Leceta was leading

“When I explained that the abuse he suffered was not his fault and why, I did not need to tell him twice,” Leceta explains, “His eyes became bright!

The healing began.” a team of both Canadian and Americans volunteers, most with a background in Child Welfare, at an orphanage that had a community Neurological Centre for children with Special Needs. She was introduced to Alex who was 19 years old, who had been employed as their translator.

“The first time I met her I liked her. She was different. I knew she was different. I could see she was a mom,” Alex tells me. “ I wanted to learn more. Later it was a bit scary. I was learning to trust her and that was a new experience for me. She listened to me.

After many months of talking to her, and getting to know her and her knowing me and my story she told me, ‘’if you want, you can call me mom”. It seemed too good to be true because I was feeling it but still scared of my hope. I felt good but confused at the same time.”

“Alex and I immediately connected,” Leceta says, “At the time I didn’t know his story but I did tell him later that his eyes spoke volumes, his eyes said more than his words. He was so intelligent, so inquisitive, yet, his eyes were haunting.”

Later that week, Alex tentatively opened up to Leceta and he started to sob when he said the words, “as a child I was thrown away like a piece of garbage.”

Leceta started to cry, her heart broken for Alex.

A bond began to form over the next year, all based

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on communication. Talking. Learning to trust. In time, Alex found a place in the hearts of Leceta and the entire family. Alex started to disclose the horrors of his childhood, and Leceta realised that Alex had suffered at least twelve years of abuse at the hands of American missionaries. It had been so normalized and Alex had been so emotionally terrorized, as many abused children are, that he blamed himself.

“When I explained that the abuse he suffered was not his fault and why, I did not need to tell him twice,” Leceta explains, “His eyes became bright! The healing began.”

Months later in 2013 Leceta’s husband Jean travelled to Guatemala to meet Alex and spend time getting to know him. Kahleah and Alex got to know each other as they were building projects to aid children together in Guatemala, before Kahleah moved on to her position as a children’s home director. Tristan was the first to suggest adoption, suggesting they take Alex home to Canada to be part of the family. Alex was able to visit Canada on a visa in 2015.

Adopting Alex was not quite as easy as the family first imagined with international adoption from Guatemala to Canada closing in 2001.

“We decided that Alex would apply to the CNA, Guatemala’s National adoption authority, for his right to be adopted. He named my husband Jean and I as his parents of choice. He was told no, he could not be adopted by Canadians. We did not give up. Alex went

on national television sharing his story and his quest for a legal and loving family by adoption.”

The family won their two year fight in 2016 when the CNA changed the law to allow Alex to be legally adopted by Leceta and Jean. The family still had obstacles to get through including intensive home study and psychological testing, which were all approved. On August 4th, 2016 Alex legally became Leceta and Jean’s son.

In January 2021, Alex received a call from Canadian immigration. Alexander Chisholm Guibault is now officially a Canadian.

“My life has changed in every way, all to positive of course,” says Alex, “I no longer have nightmares or suicidal thoughts and I no longer blame myself for my past. In my orphanage I was made to believe that I deserved all of the abuse and it was all was my fault. My mom has helped me to overcome my pain, she has taught me about my rights and she keeps teaching me about family. Being in Canada has been the best thing ever, everyone is kind to me, it is a peaceful country to live in. Canada is my therapy, my safe place along with my mom, dad, brother and others. I am so excited to find a job and go to school, to live life like a normal Canadian is my goal. I love my life now. Everything is much easier with a family. I am a proud Canadian.”

Alex plans to continue his fight for children’s rights and to fight for people do not have a voice. Alex and his mother support projects in Guatemala supporting children and families in need, delivering more than 3500 bunk-beds and scholarships for more than 200 students.

They have helped to build a school for a community, but Alex says there is still much more to do.

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“I would like to help open international adoptions again. Children need families. We don’t need bigger orphanages or institutions. Every person has the right to a family. We all need to be loved, no matter the age.”

Much has changed for Alex who is currently writing his memoir, entitled Looking back, I found my Future which he says has been a difficult but cathartic process. He and Leceta have travelled across Canada and the USA, sharing Alex’s story with thousands of people and raising awareness of the plight of children in orphanages across Guatemala.

filed in Louisiana by lawyers working for Alex, seeking unspecified damages. He got news the civil action had been filed on his 28th birthday.

“I feel like this is the best birthday gift,” he said. “Finally, justice is going to be served. I would say I’ve been waiting for this pretty much my whole life.”

As for Leceta, she couldn’t be prouder of her son as they continue to seek justice for Alex. She has proven that the love she has for Alex knows no boundaries.

“Alex is 100 percent my son,” says Leceta, ”Sometimes I forget that I missed the first 19 years of his life. I mourn those years”

Alex has now taken legal action against Casa Aleluya, an orphanage run by Build Your House on the Rock, a Louisiana-based Christian group. The lawsuit was

About the Writer Sandy Lowres is a writer, creative and podcaster. She has always been passionate about women’s rights and celebrating the diversity of women. As the founder and Creative Director of Wb40 – Women Beyond Forty Magazine, she is changing the narrative around women 40 and beyond. She is also working on making a perfect French Martini. wb40.com

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Sandra Reynolds Her Love of food Whenever I want to cook a special meal for my children, or close friends, or even my lover, deciding what to cook is easy. I know from years of observation, gentle questioning and a little trial and error, what each of my loved ones enjoys the most. This is how every birthday meal I have ever cooked for my daughter includes a chocolate cake.

Even now, after all these years.

At the beginning of any new relationship, uncovering my new love’s favourite meals is part of the journey of discovery. Just as others would ask about the books one has read, I will always enquire about food. Tell me about your hidden desires – check. Your past mistakes – check. What about your favourite foods? Oh, you don’t like dessert?

Well, challenge accepted.

If cooking for others is a love language of service and action, then my capacity to show how much I love others holds no bounds. I have delivered food parcels to hospitalised friends at a moment’s notice.

I routinely make hampers of food gifts at Christmas, in the fervent belief that the earlier I start, the more I will be able to share. I don’t visit my mother without a jar of homemade lemon butter in hand. She returns the love by gifting me lemons from her tree.

But if someone asks me what my favourite meal is, I struggle for days to reply. Even worse, I would never make it just for myself.

It was this realisation that led me to this simple sad truth – if cooking is an act of love, then I have not treated myself as kindly as I have others. Oh sure, I cook for myself, but

for too long I have gone through the motions. At the end of a long day, defeated by tiredness and yearning for quiet, my preference is for something simple. What I’ll cook is the meal that will offer the path of least resistance, that will be easy to cook, produce a reliable outcome, and will nourish me. All of which are very noble reasons for cooking, but would I recognise it as an act of love for myself? Not likely.

I’ll admit, coming up with a recipe for a simple expression of self-love was much harder than I thought it would be. It showed me how neglectful I have been of my own desires, of my own pleasure and at a time when I live on my own, it highlighted my focus on others. Others who, let’s just say, don’t deserve to eat this magnificent dish.

Let’s put the world to rights, shall we?

This recipe for crispy-skinned duck, eaten in fluffy bao, fills the brief. It looks incredibly complex however it can be done ahead and frozen for those tiring days when a simple re-heat is all you can manage. While this recipe is enough for two, I’ve included instructions for freezing some of it if you want to just feed yourself two luscious meals instead. Better still, some of the key components – plum sauce and bao buns – can be bought pre-made, ready for whenever you need reminding that self-love has always mattered and should never be forgotten again.

30 Image Credit: Sandra Renoylds

CRISPY-SKINNED DUCK BAO

INGREDIENTS • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

2 duck Marylands, or 4 duck legs, bone in and skin on 1 tbsp Sichuan peppercorns or 1 tsp ground Sichuan pepper ½ tsp coarse black pepper 20g or 4 tbsp black tea leaves 1 tsp Chinese five spice powder 1 tbsp grated ginger 2 spring onions, white part only 2 tsp soft brown sugar 1 tbsp sea salt Vegetable oil for frying 1 egg yolk Plain flour for dusting Plum sauce*, to serve 8 frozen bao buns,* to serve 1 small Lebanese cucumber, to serve

BLACK VINEGAR DIPPING SAUCE • 1 tbsp black vinegar • 1 tbsp light soy sauce • 1 tbsp hoisin sauce

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32 Image Credit: Sandra Renoylds

CRISPY-SKINNED DUCK BAO

METHOD METHOD 1. Wipe and pat dry the duck and place in a large bowl.

2. Place tea leaves, peppers, five spice, ginger and spring onion in the bowl of a small food processor and blend until coarsely ground. Mix in the sugar and salt and pour over the duck legs.

Pat the mixture into the flesh making sure it is covered well, then cover the bowl with cling wrap and leave to cure in the fridge for at least 8 hours or overnight.

3. Wash the curing mix off under running water and pat dry. The skin will be a dark brown/grand the flesh will have tightened up. Place the duck legs in the base of a steamer, and place over a pan of simmering water. Steam for 3 hours, topping up the water as you need to. At this point you can freeze the cooked duck legs in an airtight container, meaning you can defrost them then fry them at short notice whenever you want.

4. Fill a deep saucepan with oil until it reaches about 10cm up the sides. Heat over medium heat until it reaches about 180⁰c or until a cube of bread starts to brown and crisp within 20 seconds.

5. Place frozen bao buns into a steamer basket and steam over simmering water for 8-10 minutes according to instructions on the packet. Slice the cucumber into thin strips and set aside.

6. Beat egg yolk with a tablespoon of water and brush over the duck leg. Dredge plain flour over the egg and shake off the excess.

7. Carefully lower the duck into the hot oil and fry for 4-5 minutes until the skin is very dark and crispy. Drain on paper towel.

8. Serve duck with bao, cucumber strips, plum sauce and vinegar on the side. To eat, fill each bao with pieces of succulent duck, that magical crispy skin, a slice of cucumber and a spoon of plum sauce. Dip into a pot of vinegar dipping sauce and enjoy every loving mouthful.

VINEGAR DIPPING SAUCE 1. Combine all ingredients and a spoonful of water in a small bowl and whisk to combine. *Frozen bao buns and Plum sauce are currently available at Aldi, for a limited time. You can also use Peking duck pancakes or iceberg lettuce cups for a low carb alternative.

About the Author Sandra Reynolds is a Melbourne based Cookbook Author, award-winning blogger, columnist and recipe queen who is the Founder of the $120 Food Challenge. Sandra has published over 1300 nutritious, low-cost and family-friendly recipes for her platform The $120 Food Challenge. Sandra’s passion is sharing her love of food with others. delishforless.com

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Should I stay or should I go

How to know when its time to change your job

BY AMALIA CHILIANIS

A

re you feeling stuck in your job or career? Perhaps you’ve been striving and working towards something, and now you’ve achieved it, it still seems to be lacking. Or maybe you’re at a crossroads, ruminating about the frustrations of your job but your options of staying or leaving seem equally unpalatable. Are you at a point where now you’re tired of complaining about your work and others are tired of listening? For some, you may have the option of volunteering for a redundancy, but you are unable to come to a decision, because going seems too daunting and yet staying leaves a lingering fear of a potential axe falling at any time, without warning.

While these situations and contexts are all different, what is common is that you need to have thought through your

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situation in a way that productively helps you make a decision.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it” Maya Angelou Most of us have an aspiration of liking what we do and how we do it and that our career or job should be about more than just paying the bills and survival.

That the precious time we spend at work utilises our strengths and skills, helps us grow and learn, builds rewarding relationships with others and enables us to contribute something meaningful, all while leaving enough room and energy for the other priorities in life.

Maybe you’re like many others that are unhappy and dissatisfied with their job, but for some reason you are just not able to come to a decision about making a change. Psychologists have long studied judgement and decision making. Humans make decisions in two distinct ways, consciously analytically or unconsciously using our “gut”, intuition or instinct (although both depend on the brain). However, before anyone makes a decision and takes action they will contemplate or think about the situation in order to come to a decision and then prepare and then take action. To make the decision to change your career or job requires both types of decision making and when you decide you are ready to make a change then you will need high motivation, good preparation, confidence and a lot of action.

Think Decide Prepare Act Figure 1: Before you decide you need to process your thoughts

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In this current environment of uncertainty and challenges everyone’s sense of control is impacted and the future might feel uncertain. However, you can take steps to pragmatically help you make a decision and move forward.

In a recent interview with a Managing Director of a business that was closing down, they likened the emotional connection to your job to a romantic relationship.

The length of time invested, the fear of the unknown and being ready to let go and move on to someone new. Even when you know that the relationship has its flaws. Possibly we can all relate to a relationship we know we stayed in for too long but there were a range of reasons that we justified to ourselves for not deciding to make a change.

The following activity is designed to help you process your thoughts and feelings about your current job and decide whether it is time for a change.

Activity: It’s not me, it’s you.

To understand whether it is time to change your job or career think about it as a relationship.

Take some time to reflect on, and write down, how you would describe your current work or job if it were a relationship.

Would it be a relationship you’d introduce to your Mum or Dad? How would you introduce them? Would your Mum or Dad say they treat you well? What are the qualities you value the most? What are the qualities you value the least, that frustrate or upset you? Have there been disappointments or feelings of hurt or betrayal that you can’t seem to let go of? Are there signs of hope and of things improving? And by signs, I mean demonstrated behaviours not just words. And most importantly, can you see, or imagine, a bright future together?

Analysing your current situation using an analogy, will help you examine it from multiple perspectives and also put a little distance between you and the situation.

While there is no exact formula to apply, review what you have written objectively. If a close friend were in this relationship (job situation) what advice would you give them?

This is not about the practicalities, the how to, or the limiting beliefs that tell you, you won’t find anything better. This is about making the decision to make a change. If any negative thoughts do come up, write them down and test how true they really are. For example, is it really true that you won’t find anything better?

Do you have enough information to know that to be a fact? What is the likelihood that that is 100% correct?

When you have made a decision and are ready to act, taking small safe steps will both build your confidence

and give you check in points to catch your fears and most likely prove that they were just fears, not psychic predictions.

Making a change is not easy, but can deliver great rewards, such as greater satisfaction, new relationships, growth, improved happiness and wellbeing. Distancing yourself by using an analogy like a relationship can give you a new perspective and insights that help with your decision to stay or go. Even if you have been forced to change your job, this exercise is worth doing as a way of processing what’s happened.

If you have already spent too much time agonising over this decision, making one, whatever it may be, will be a huge relief. Humans prove time and time again, that once they make a decision, they can achieve great things even in the face of adversity. You will have options, support and the skills and capabilities you need to make a change to a much brighter future.

About the Writer Amalia Chilianis is a coach with over 25 years of corporate experience, shortly due to publish her first book outlining a holistic and science-based approach to changing careers and jobs. She is a courageous leader and an encourager of others who is determined that the next 20 years of work and life will be different to the last. www.amaliachilianis.com

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Between divorce and dating,

pause

BY KERRI SACKVILLE

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I

’ve written a great deal about dating over years, since hitting the scene shortly after my divorce. I’ve offered all sorts of advice to middle aged singles, from how to avoid getting scammed (Reverse Image Search is your friend), to how to manage a first date (keep it brief, have an exit plan), to how to reject someone with minimal fallout (tell them you’re just not feeling a connection).

Like any advice, it is there to take or to leave. There are no real rules in dating. Everyone must find their own way.

•

When you date to escape yourself, or when you’re terrified of being alone, you’re not going to make good romantic choices. When you’re desperate or vulnerable, you’ll latch on to whoever rocks up.

You might end up with someone who doesn’t meet your needs, or, worse, who is downright toxic or abusive.

•

Dating can be rough! Of course, it’s possible you’ll immediately meet the next love of your life. More likely, however, you’ll go on some really bad dates, be rejected once or twice, and have some excruciatingly awkward sex. You need to be emotionally robust enough to deal with it all, to laugh it off, and to not take it personally. When you’re still bruised and battered after a recent separation, this is almost an impossible ask.

•

Finally, it’s truly worth trying to be single for a while, and to get to know yourself out of the context of a relationship. Marriage involves so much compromise that you can forget who you are, what you enjoy, and what you think, as an independent human being. This is a chance to develop a relationship with yourself, before you slide back into coupledom and start compromising again.

Still, if there is just one piece of advice I could impart to the newly single, it is to not rush onto the dating scene. Take some time to regroup after your separation. Stop, pause, breathe.

I have seen countless people jump onto dating apps mere weeks – and, sometimes, days – after exiting a long relationship. They do it because they want distraction, or because they’re scared of being alone.

They do it for validation, or for comfort, or for revenge.

They do it because they want sex, or they want love, or they want an escape, or they want to be rescued from their distress.

And I get it. Divorce can be almost cataclysmically painful. It can take months or years to establish a new normal, and until you do, life feels chaotic and scary.

And it is hard to with that kind of discomfort and fear.

It’s so tempting to load up a dating app, and focus instead on swiping left and right.

Here’s why you should hold off: •

Divorce is a process. It takes time to separate from someone emotionally, even after you’ve separated from them physically. It takes time to sort through the mess of the separation, to cut or loosen the ties that bind you to your ex. It’s not fair to bring all this to a new partner, and it won’t be a healthy foundation for any new relationship.

So how do you know when you’re ready to date?

Well, you don’t need to be baggage free; after all, noone gets to midlife without baggage. You do need to have your baggage securely stored, and be reasonably sure that it won’t fall on your head. You need to have moved towards establishing a new lifestyle, and forging a new identity as single person. Ideally, you will feel like a whole person again, and not a jagged, raw half of a separated couple.

Of course, by then you may not feel like dating at all.

You may want to embrace your single status, and relish the freedom it brings. And as someone who is leaning into being single, I can tell you: that’s an excellent outcome to achieve.

About the Author Kerri Sackville is an Australian author, columnist, social commentator, and media personality. She writes regularly for Sunday Life magazine, Sydney Morning Herald online and news.com.au, on topics ranging from sex and relationships to parenting, mental health and current affairs. She has made frequent appearances on television programs including Sunrise, The Daily Edition, Mornings on Channel 9, Mamamia TV and The Circle, and regularly pops up on various radio stations.

f @Kerri.Sackville t @KerriSackville 39

“Still, if there is just one piece of advice I could impart to the newly single, it is to not rush onto the dating scene. Take some time to regroup after your separation.

Stop, pause, breathe.”

Kerri Sackville

a survival guide for dating in midlife K E R RI SACKVI L L E Available from good books stores

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WOMEN IN OUR OWN BACKYARD ARE GOING WITHOUT BASIC TOILETRIES. We believe this is unacceptable.

WWW.HAPPYBOXESPROJECT.COM

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42

The Power

of self love

BY MARCY NEUMANN

W

ith each article that I write about Self Love I find myself getting more and more radical in my beliefs and convictions about it being the quintessential requirement for your health and happiness. Forgive me, but I won’t be beating around the bush here; if you believe that Self -Love is being selfish, this article may challenge you.

You see, I’ve been where you may be right now.

The good, ‘stand behind her man’ wife, the loyal ‘do anything for you’ friend, the fabulous, ’we can always count on her’ sister, the committee laden community pillar, the devoted ‘no matter what it takes’ mother to four children. I lived tirelessly giving, giving and giving some more as I thought was my duty until the day I had nothing left to give.

On the morning I realized this, I awoke just like many other days. My head was already pounding and I reached for my medication, the one I never left home without. I hadn’t slept well and had been tossing and turning most of the night after I had awakened from yet another one of my night terrors; drenched in sweat, ripping at some imaginary fear. I showered and dressed to begin my day of work at my husband’s side. My stomach in knots and my hips full of a familiar dull ache with occasional shooting pain.

I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself, “How did you get so old so fast?”

I was only 50 years old and I looked and felt 10 years older. My day hadn’t even started and already there were tears stinging my eyes. And then it started, my family commitments. Coordinating who needed what, schedules turned upside down, five sports activities for after school, a meeting that was never relayed to me…you get the picture. I finally got out the door and into my car and when I turned the corner, I pulled to the side of the road and cried. Who was I? How had I gotten so far away from who I thought I would be? Furthermore, where had I gone?

I flashed back to a cosmic experience I had just the year before; a personal epiphany that had left me reeling with the image of myself living a life totally different from my reality at the time. It scared me to death. I couldn’t fathom it. I was traveling, I was teaching, I was writing, I was speaking in huge rooms filled with women who were paying to hear me speak, signing books, holding workshops, teaching, teaching, teaching. I laughed out of fear. “How could I possibly?”

And then questions resounded in my mind.

“What if?”

“What’s standing in your way?”

“What’s stopping you?”

And the most serious of them, “ What do you have to let go of in order to see that vision come to fruition?”

That took some time to answer. I reached out for help in order to gain some clarity. However, it wasn’t long

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before the answers were clear. Me. I was the one standing in my way and stopping myself for reaching for this different life I envisaged. The limited and false version of me based on images that others had of me but also the image that I had of myself and my obligation to all of the hats I wore based on what I had been taught I should be and how I should do it. I needed to let go of my belief that there was nothing more for me. Who was I to want more? How could I be so ungrateful when I already had everything anyone could want? What would people think of me if I reached for more?

Then the most powerful thought, what would I think of me if I didn’t?

So, I did the unthinkable. I started to love myself in a way I had never allowed myself to before. I started to ask myself what I needed to be happy. What did I need to add or subtract from my life? What took me closer to feeling good about myself and my life and what didn’t? What did I need in order to feel fulfilled and joyful and abundant? How did I need to be loved? What were the changes I needed to make so that I felt like I was honoring and loving and respecting myself and my needs and still do the same for others around me?

Soon, the necessary actions were as clear as my needs. I won’t lie to you and tell you that it was easy.

I had to develop the courage to follow through with my choices and actions. I had to get used to the feeling that I was disappointing others, letting them down and opening myself to their judgment and ridicule and walk forward anyway. I had to get used to letting go of responsibilities, relationships and commitments that weighed me down and walk forward

anyway with my head held high and justifying to no one. I had to get used to no longer being the ‘good wife, friend, sister, community pillar and even mother.’ I had to get used to creating new versions of all of those parts of me and the reactions and responses from others as I made my way.

But I also had to get used to feeling empowered and confident and clear and wise and a powerful sovereign being and yes, sometimes a real badass too! I got used to being in the forefront, looked up to, respected, honored and considered an expert in my field. I had to get used to speaking in front of large groups, on radio and TV. I started to accept that I was now an author, an innovator, a visionary and a sought-after facilitator. Oh, and yes, I had to get used to being a teacher and teaching, teaching, teaching.

What do I teach? I teach women how to Love themselves in ways they never have allowed themselves to do before.

The greatest thing I had to get used to though?

Being 100% absolutely healthy! No more headaches, digestive issues or knots in my stomach. No more panic attacks in the middle of the night, no more pain in my hips and no more medication of any kind.

And with all the stress subsiding, I started looking 10 years younger and I’m getting younger every day!

So, is Self-Love being selfish? This is your choice but whatever you choose, you will become and live it.

About the Author Marcy Neumann, Rev., RN, CHT, RMT, known as The HeartShift Coach, is an Intuitive Transformational Life Coach, Spiritualist Minister and Counselor, Certified Hypnotherapist and Reiki Master. Marcy is also a published author, creator of award-winning healing products and founder of Self Love University. In addition, Marcy is the weekly host on her, High Vibe Tribe podcast and TV show, The Spirit of Healing Unleashed.

Marcy has helped thousands of clients to HeartShift , release toxic, dense energy and open their hearts and lives to give, receive and BE more Love. The result? A Self Love lifestyle with reduced stress, and Dis-ease, more happiness, greater health and well-being.

HeartShiftCoach.com | SelfLoveUniversity.com | Marcy@HeartShiftCoach.com

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Cover Artist Aya Mobaydeen Cover art: Secrets of the Heart

Aya Mobaydeen is a young illustrator and graphic designer from Jordan. She’s curious and eager to always explore and dabble in different fields, which has helped her figure out she has a deep passion for illustration.

“I believe that reflecting my emotions, experiences and memories into my art makes it meaningful and impactful. “ Aya has worked with clients such as Apple, Gucci, VMLY&R, Unicef and more. We love her artwork Secrets of the Heart and all it represents.

Aya’s work is inspired by people, nature, animals and everything around her. She loves working with colours that work well together. Her focus is on the details and use of repetitive elements.

l @aya_mobaydeen D www.ayamobaydeen.com

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Easy Lychee Martini Ingredients ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

4 canned Lychees (in syrup) ice 150 ml vodka 1 splash white vermouth

Mocktail – Method 1. Add ice blocks to two cocktail glasses to cool the glass 2. Add ice, vodka, vermouth and a splash of the Lychee syrup, and shake vigorously 3. Throw the ice out of the martini glasses, drain the Lychee martinis into two glasses, and add 2 Lychees to each Enjoy!

Lychee & Elderflower Martini Ingredients ◆ 1 x 230g can of lychees and juice ◆ Small handful of fresh mint ◆ Juice of half a lemon ◆ 1 X Tbsp elderflower juice ◆ Sparking lemon lime and

bitters drink ◆ Lots of ice Instructions Note: You can adjust this recipe depending on how many mocktails you’d like to make. If just making for a few people you can use half the can of lychees and juice, or if you’re making for more then use the full can, but reserve some lychees for decoration!

1. Add Lychees and the remaining ingredients to a blender (except for the lemon lime and bitters drink).

2. Use the pulse button on your blender to make it into a crushed ice consistency. If you like it a bit runnier that’s fine too - adjust the amount of ice to your taste. It’s foolproof and will taste great!

3.

Pour the mixture into cocktail glasses - about 3/4 full. Top up with the lemon lime and bitters drink and decorate with reserved lychees and mint. Enjoy!

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She Endeavours

Wb40 Magazine is shining some love on female owned micro & small businesses, that make our heart sing because as we all know, when one woman rises, we all rise. Please support these women in business.

Twineys Workshop, Gratitude Journal

Kylie Sahb Photography Kylie Sahb Photography specialises in portraiture and events. From live music and press shoots through to e-commerce and head shots, we offer photography sessions based on you and your business needs. www.kyliesahb.com

This 60 page A6 Gratitude Journal is a perfect way to change a habit and train your brain to look for more positive things in your life.

People who are grateful tend to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled. Being grateful can help people cope with stress and can even have a beneficial effect on heart rate. This action is easy to do yet its benefits have been scientifically proven.

In essence, you are rewiring your brain to focus more on the positive aspects of your life and build up resilience against negative situations. www.etsy.com/au/people/twineysworkshop

Scarlet and Grace It was from our beloved memories of life and adventure in the heart of Gippsland that the Scarlet and Grace Collection was born.

Sourcing superior ingredients from all around the world, carefully blended into luxurious aromas, every scent tells a story of our home amongst sleepy villages, lush bush gardens, and majestic coastlines.

Handcrafting a range of products featuring all natural Soy Wax Candles, Premium Reed Diffusers, Luxurious Goats Milk Washes, Gift Packs and Fragranced Sanitiser and supplying out products to Lifestyle and Gift Retailers all over Australia and New Zealand.

We are a family owned business, and we pride ourselves on superior ingredients and superior customer service! scarletandgrace.com.au

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Kangaroo Spotting From New York to Melbourne, Dawn Rieniets will help you express yourself through art and words. She creates bespoke art and treasures, resin necklaces, sculptures, commissions and prints for wild women. roospotting.com

She Endeavours Brooke Orchard Photography Brooke. is a multi award winning portrait photographer located in Geelong, Victoria.

I am an avid Old Hollywood movie buff and fell deeply in love with the feminine charm of vintage fashion.

Koru Pantry Koru Pantry - our focus is creating teas that nourish, and that support self care and connection with loved ones. We have poured all our love and effort into creating this range and now we want to give it wings! www.korupantry.com

Photo sessions include full styling including hair and makeup. I also have many outfits and accessories available as part of my studio wardrobe collection. In every portrait I create I am looking to capture the soul connection through the eyes, I know it when I see it and it is always BEAUTIFUL! Brooke took the vintage inspired photo for The Good Girl Confessional Podcast.

brookeorchard.com 0408 380 597

Eaden Sleepwear Eaden Sleepwear was born out of one woman’s desire to get a good night’s sleep. Proudly Australian owned Eaden exists to help you get a better night’s rest by easing the discomfort associated with night sweats and hot flushes. Far beyond traditional sleepwear fabrics, Eaden’s patented Dri-Release wicking fabric is specifically designed to draw moisture away from the skin, helping to regulate body temperature and (for most) eliminating the need to change sleepwear during the night. It’s super soft, wrinkle resistant and won’t shrink or lose its wicking properties.

Eaden Sleepwear won’t stop those pesky night sweats but it will keep you looking good and sleeping more comfortably, night after night. https://www.eaden.com.au/

Just a Glass Sometimes we enjoy savouring a glass of quality wine. Not a whole bottle. And often we’d like to enjoy a selection of premium wines, not just one grape variety.

Just a Glass Australia was inspired by this very idea - producing premium local wines in single serve bottles. It’s an excitingly different drinking experience that lets wine lovers enjoy the labour of love that goes into producing local wines - one glass at a time. www.justaglassaustralia.com.au

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She Endeavours Shiny Happy Art Isn’t it great that most kids enjoy drawing and painting?

But why do so many adults think they’re not creative?

That they can’t even draw a stick figure’?

Shiny Happy Art provides quality, drawing and painting experiences, in person and on-line. It’s art with a safety net. With a library of over 50 on-line Paint Alongs, Drawing, Painting and Colour Workshops and projects, for adults and kids, Shiny Happy Art is now happening every day, in homes all around the world!. www.shinyhappyart.com

Destiny Drive Destiny Drive is a 26 Day Manifestation Momentum Journal which is 100% Australian owned, designed and printed. This journal is designed to upgrade your health, wealth and mindset using the Law of Attraction.

The Destiny Drive 26 Day Manifestation Journal is a unique challenge that includes: Life assessment activities | Goal setting support | Block clearing tools | Health goal tracker | Money manifestation tracker | Journal prompts | Daily vibration raising routine Journal owners are given access to the exclusive Destiny Drivers Facebook group where they can get support, find an accountability partner, share their progress and celebrate their manifestations. www.destinydrive.com.au

Sylvia & Flora Sylvi & Flora is all about bright, colourful statement jewellery handmade from polymer clay. Inspired by the winter and spring blossoms, the Flora range features images of blossoms and native flowers.

Naomi is the designer and creator of small-batch polymer clay earrings, necklaces and hair accessories, handmade in her home in Melbourne. Preferring to create unique pieces within each range, Naomi ensures no earring lover will have the exact same pair as anyone else! www.sylviandflora.com.au

There you are There You Are is a fine art design studio nestled in Newport Beach on Sydney’s Northern Beaches. Their creative flow is infused with nature’s best inspirations; think the sound of crashing waves, the rustling of gum leaves and the joy-filled song of friendly butcher birds and king parrots, the smell of smokey winters and all the good things! The founder of There you Are is Danielle Nash raising her 3 children alongside her husband in their beloved 60’s home ‘The Gridhouse’. There You Are specialise in bespoke event stationery design for those major life stepping stones.

A carefully curated portfolio of popular semi-customisable designs is available, with plans to add sustainable homewares to the mix soon! www.thereyouarestudio.com

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She Endeavours

Little Box of Kindness Naturally Millie A small business that went from a hobby to a business, I have been making candles for over 10 years and decided to turn it into a business. I use the highest quality soy wax and fragrance for the best scent throw.

We have a range of sizes and fragrances. We also sell reed diffusers and soaps. We like to be as eco-friendly as possible and offer a refill service, we will refill your jar with the same or different fragrance if you return to us for a lower cost of purchasing a new candle, we also offer the same service for our reed diffusers. www.naturallymillie.com.au

Give the gift of kindness with our unique range of heartfelt energy infused gift boxes.

Lovingly handmade in Torquay, each box has been designed to create a quality me-time experience. Simply pop on the kettle, make yourself a cuppa (teabags included) and take a moment to relax as you explore the box contents.

Whilst creating each box we lovingly infuse Reiki Love, White Light and kindness to ensure each box carries the highest vibes. Choose from one of our eight signature themes, including our top seller ‘Freedom & Happiness’. www.littleboxofkindness.com.au

Segal Lawyers Segal Lawyers is a boutique commercial law firm. With extensive experience in providing commercial advice to a diverse range of businesses. We have a proven track record of securing positive results for clients in matters involving franchising, litigation, employment law, trusts and estates wills, and we have vast expertise in dealing with start-ups.

Our approach is to really understand clients and their objectives. We always go the extra mile to ensure the best personal and commercial outcome for our clients.

Petticoat Princess

www.segallawyers.com.au

Petticoat Princess is such a special brand. Born of a love of soft tulle, romantic colours and dancing queens, our unique Parisian styled tutus, dresses and accessories also have the option of being delivered to your door in a personalised keepsake gift box. petticoatprincess.com.aus

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She Endeavours

Xanadu Designs Nikki Taylor Nikki is a trusted Professional and Personal Coach; Career Transition Specialist; and the author of Be Inspired, a compilation of stories shared by 50 women from around the globe. Her extensive recruitment industry experience began at a top-tier firm in New Zealand and evolved as she moved first to the corporate sector, then established her own agency in 2005. Drawing on a wealth of coaching and mentoring skills, Nikki fosters confidence by working with clients one-on-one to reignite the passions that accelerate success in both life and career. lmecoaching.com

Xanadu Designs comes from the colourful imagination of Sydney designer Christina Sceats, who is on a mission to bring a sense of fun, colour and sparkle to the world of jewellery.

Each pair of earrings is totally unique, made from hand painted, metallic and exotic leathers with glitter encrusted polymer clay and hyper allergenic stainless-steel earring posts.

Each piece of leather is hand painted, cut and layered creating a strong focus on colour, texture and movement, bringing the earrings to life as you move.

Christina has a background in theatre and design and uses her knowledge of performance and theatricality to make bold statement pieces that are light and comfortable to wear. www.designbyxanadu.com

Miami Digital We are Miami Digital and we take care of all things Branding, Marketing & Social Media.

Lead by a strong duo of creatives, we’re masters in Digital Marketing, who pride ourselves on client relationships built through trust, transparency & integrity. We offer a balance of creativity, collaboration & organization to deliver detailed marketing strategies.

With 2020 behind us, now is the time to refresh, reinvigorate & revive - We would love to discuss your business needs & get your branding looking BEAUTIFUL! www.miamidigital.com.au

Beads en Folie As a primary school teacher, recognising and celebrating everyones unique qualities is truly what makes Em’s heart sing.

Starting “Beads en Folie,” unique designs that incorporate customisation was important. Allowing you to design your own accessories that fit your lifestyle, Beads en Folie donates 10% of their sales is as a way to give back, and help communities make a difference in the world. Products include: keychains | double keychains | lanyards | bag tags | necklaces for mamma and mini | Earrings Their best-selling products are their Bundles.

All completely customisable to your needs. https://beads-en-folie.myshopify.com/

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She Endeavours

Fair Foodie Lisa Papallo is the Co-Founder of Fair Foodie – the marketplace for Australian food, drinks and fresh produce. Created after moving to the Central Coast of NSW helping local food producers with a digital presence. The need for Fair Foodie escalated as many producers experienced disruption to their supply chains when restaurants and hotels closed, and they had absolutely no existing relationship with consumers during COVID. And so Fair Foodie was born.

We celebrate and support Australia’s diverse food and beverage producers through an interactive platform, bringing farmers, providores, brewers, winemakers, restaurateurs, food truck operators and other foodie artisans together with local-loving consumers to help Australian businesses flourish.

Australian producers and small business operators can list their business instantly for free, and patriotic Aussie consumers can support them by buying directly from the source.

The Gut-Mind Collective The Gut-Mind Collective supports women in their nutrition journey by developing nourishing health habits, as well as resetting patterns and habits through mindset training.

SERVICE WE’RE SHARING: BREATHE is a transformational 6-week wellness coaching program, designed by women for women, that helps to identify health imbalances & goals and work through the roadblocks standing in the way of success. https://thegutmindcollective.com/

https://fairfoodie.com.au

Buddy Boo | Doggy Daycare At Buddy Boo, your beloved furry family member has a safe space to spend the day among friends. They get a fun-filled day and you bring home a happy, tired pup. #winning No two dogs are the same. Some are ultra friendly, some just a little on the shy side. We take the time to get to know your dogs individually making sure they fit in with the right crowd.

Through positive training, enrichment and socialisation, we make sure your pup is well cared for and having a blast. When they’re having fun, we’re having fun. https://www.buddyboo.com.au

Foma Skin FOMA SKIN started as a need to improve my own skin troubles, including dry skin, under the dry Australian climate.

My own skin immunity had dropped because of stress, irregular living patterns and an unbalanced diet. My skin condition did not improve after products recommended by pharmacies, dermatologists and acquaintances. However, after changing to a plant based diet over the past two years, my skin condition began to stabilise. I began to do more research into the ingredients used in cosmetics, but was shocked to find that, even well-known brands, use a lot of chemicals that could cause diseases or make existing conditions worse. It was then that I decided to make cosmetics for myself and my family. https://foma-s.com

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BY SANDY LOWRES

Gayle Kennedy On writing and growing up disabled in Australia 54

B

almain, a suburb of Sydney, is a long way f rom the country town of Ivanhoe, NSW, where Gayle Kennedy was born, and the country town of Hay where she was raised as a member of the Wongaibon Clan of the Ngiayampaa speaking Nation in New South Wales. Gayle is an award-winning writer having published books, graphic novels and poetry as well as articles for newspapers, magazines and literary journals. Her work has expanded to radio and even a screen play. By any measure, Gayle, who likes to work late at night or early in the morning when the world is quiet, has produced an extraordinary body of celebrated work, one which most writers would only dream of creating in a life time.

What makes her story even more remarkable is that Gayle only started her writing career at the age of 51.

Gayle’s latest work is part of the much-anticipated anthology Growing Up Disabled in Australia, edited by writer and disability advocate Carly Findlay and featuring the stories of 46 people within the disability community.

My first impression of Gayle when we chatted for this article, is her welcoming manner and the warmth of her laugh. She strikes me as a woman who has lived her life well, with a hint of mischief about her.

Gayle lived a childhood that wasn’t like most in her country town having contracted polio at the age of two during an epidemic that swept across Australia in the late forties and early fifties.

“I can remember moments of not having polio, but I also remember snippets of being in an iron lung,” she says matter-of-factly.

Listening to her story, it’s easy to understand why Gayle felt like she led two separate lives growing up with her time divided between an orderly world of hospital care and rehabilitation in the city and her home in the country with her family, which she describes as more ‘rough and tumble’. She explains that while her parents called her by her middle name Gayle, hospital staff knew her as Beryl, her birth name.

“I think I created a chameleon like existence. I wore Beryl as my armor in Sydney and I became Gayle in my home life.” After intensive physiotherapy, hydrotherapy and encouragement from doctors, Gayle learned to walk again, and was fitted with calipers. After three years in a rehabilitation hospital, Gayle was ready to go home but meeting her parents was a huge shock.

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“I was in the hospital for a long time and I was surrounded by only white nurses and doctors. There were no mirrors. When my parents came to take me home, I was shocked that they were black. I just didn’t realise, at such a young age, that I was black myself. I had no idea. My reaction must have been so hard for them.”

From an early age she developed a love of books as an antidote to often feeling isolated, and living in her own head, a fate shared by many children in long term hospital stays. She remembers watching other children riding bikes and running around but she wasn’t able to join in. It is these experiences of childhood and learning to survive in an active world that, she believes, made her head strong and resilient.

Upon leaving school Gayle decided to live in the moment and says she always knew she didn’t want to have children, nor did she succumb to societal pressures to do so.

“People thought I would change my mind,” she laughs, “ but I never felt my biological clock ticking.

I wanted to go out and explore life, socially and sexually and I was old enough in the 1970’s where I could do that!”

Her early career saw her working for the public service, but in 1995, despite having no prior experience, she boldly applied for a role as a writer and editor at Streetwize Comics, who specialised in low-level literacy readers, where she remained until 1998. In 2005 Gayle’s first book of poetry Koori Girl Goes Shoppin’ was shortlisted for the David Unaipon Award. Only one year later she would win that award with her book Me, Antman & Fleabag which is still praised as a work that combines humour and politics.

“Humour is so important in my writing,” her laughter is contagious, “and with Me, Antman and Fleabag, I wanted to give people a window into our world, the world of Aboriginal people, but I didn’t want to preach. Sometimes people read it a couple of times and realise it’s more political than they first thought.

I don’t mind how people translate my work but humour helps people to understand. I also wanted to honour the Aboriginal men in my family through my writing. Too often Aboriginal men get a bad rap.

I like to write like I’m telling a yarn.”

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Gayle comes f rom a family of creative people. Her father writes, she explains, and her aunties, uncles, nephews and nieces are all natural story tellers. This is not surprising given that Indigenous culture in Australia is the oldest known culture of story tellers.

A culture she proudly embraces. In 2014 her book This is Country was selected to represent Australia at the Bologna Book Fair in Italy.

“To be able to reach people across the world is incredible! This is Country is such an Australian book and yet it’s very popular in the American homeschooling system. I wasn’t expecting that.”

As we chat, Gayle is preparing to be on a panel at the Sydney Writer’s Festival. She remains quietly optimistic that things are slowly changing in a positive sense for both the Aboriginal community and the disability community in Australia.

“It’s changing but there is more to do. It would be so great to see more representation in film and television where Aboriginal actors are just people, not token characters. At writer’s festivals it would be great to see more Indigenous writers on diversified panels, rather than just panels talking about indigenous literature. We’re all in this together so isn’t it time we break out of the boredom of such a white world?”

Having started her writing career at 51, Gayle’s advice to other women who have always had a dream of doing something outside of their norm is to simply do it.

“Start now!” she enthuses, “If you’re in an office and you want to be a gardener, just do it. If you have a story in you, write it. Don’t dither. Life is too short.”

Growing Up Disabled Australia is now available in bookstores, and in audio version.

“What makes her story even more remarkable is that Gayle only started her writing career at the age of 51. “

Growing up disabled in Australia Black Inc. Books

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“LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE FALLS INTO LINE. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF TO GET ANYTHING DONE IN THIS WORLD.” – LUCILLE BALL

5 Realistic habits of Self Love 58

Tip 1 Stop

s r e h t o o t f l e s r u o y g n i r Compa

In a world full of social media, and binge-watching Netflix, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. While it’s normal to observe the world around you, it can also be detrimental to compare yourself, and your lives to people around you.

A great self-love habit is to stay focused on yourself, rather than others. Focus on what makes you smile. Find a way to move that you enjoy. Eat nourishing food and remind yourself you deserve your attention. There is only one of you after all!

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Tip 2 d n a t r Sta

i t a r G keep a

l a n r u o tude J

Research has shown that writing down what you’re thankful for can lead to lots of wellness benefits. Keeping a gratitude journal can reinforce positive thoughts ― something particularly helpful if you tend to focus on negative ones. Putting pen to paper can also help you to reinforce goals you wish to achieve. Writing down five things a day that you’re grateful for can create positive thinking. If at first it feels strange, remember that everything gets easier with practice!

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Tip 3 Take ti

f l e s r u o e for y

m

Giving yourself permission to take time out is a wonderful self-love habit. Life sometimes gets busy and it’s important to recognise when You’re tired, or getting stressed out. There is truth in the old adage that you can’t fill the cups of others if your own cup is empty. Take time out when you need it to rest, read, get a massage, have some alone time, meditate or binge watch some great shows online.

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Tip 4

n u f f o r e Powe

Th

Laughter is good for the soul and it’s good to remember to have some fun and find joy in your life. Whether it’s dancing in your lounge room or listening to your favourite playlist turned up loud, catching up with friends (in person or via video chats) for a cocktail, learning to cook new recipes or taking up a new hobby like art classes, joining a choir or volunteering, find something that makes your heart sing.

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Tip 5 f l e S e s U

n o i s s a Comp

Self compassion is a really important but easy habit to adopt. We all have that little voice in our head that speaks to us. When our inner monologue turns negative, self compassion is all about turning it around to be more positive. Talk to yourself as if you would others. If you’re being mean to yourself, say STOP! Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, that you are great just the way, and always improving. None of us are perfect, but turning negative language around is important.

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The Owl & The Pussy Cat

A Sanctuary of love

BY SANDY LOWRES

T

he Byron Bay region of Australia is picturesque and has long been synonymous with alternative lifestyles, down to earth people, and more recently a string of Hollywood celebrities moving in. It seems a fitting place to find The Owl and The Pussy Cat Farm Animal Sanctuary, which can be found in Crabbes Creek, a largely undiscovered coastal paradise in New South Wales, Australia. Located only 10 mins to unspoilt beaches, along a traditional country road through lush pastureland, creeks and rainforest, B Starbright was able to buy an affordable property on which to build her dream.

B (her real name) is the founder of her family run sanctuary, The Owl and the Pussy Cat Farm, providing a loving haven for neglected, starved or unwanted farm animals, situated on the 130-acre property that she and her partner Finn purchased three years ago. Though B had thought she would start a sanctuary much later down the track, it seems the animals had other ideas.

The animals found me,” B explains, “especially during the bushfires when we evacuated a lot of animals, as well as humans, to the safety of the Sanctuary. A number of the animals stayed on to become permanent residents due to owners struggling in the drought.”

B and her family were no strangers to bushfires, having lost everything themselves during

the devastating 2009 Black Saturday Kinglake bushfires in the state of Victoria. Seven years ago, after growing increasingly anxious every summer as bushfire season loomed, B and her family decided to make the move to New South Wales.

“So, in November 2019, when the fires were really bad in the Northern Rivers, I knew we needed to help as much as we could, even just for my own mental health!” B’s favourite evacuation was a donkey family, and their humans, which included a three-week-old baby donkey she affectionately calls baby Bonnie. As Bonnie was too small to safely ride in a horse float, B allowed her to ride in the back of her car.

“It was a crazy, intense time, but I was so grateful that we were in a position to help.” B’s love of animals is so evident as she tells me that every animal to have come through the gates of the sanctuary has a unique personality and a story to tell.

B and her partner Finn have two daughters and have been fortunate enough to welcome another couple who are live-in caretakers at the Sanctuary.

“My partner and I are actually graphic designers,” she explains, “and it’s this work that is funding the sanctuary. We spend our days juggling paid work, when we can get it, the kids and the residents.”

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The sanctuary is entirely self-funded, relying on donations and a recent $1000 grant that The Owl and The Pussy Cat was awarded which allowed them to fix their horse float. Like many businesses through the global pandemic, the sanctuary has been hit hard also. Taking care of the animals as well as the large property comes at a cost.

“We’re really struggling at the moment due to COVID,” B discloses, “but on the bright side, the huge downturn in work has given me more time to work with our rescue animals.” Using the money they make in the corporate sector keep the sanctuary going, which is completely off grid. Even the power saw is powered by the sun.

B grew up in Australia but spent most of the 90s in London working on magazines before returning home in the early 2000s and met Finn after a move to Melbourne about 19 years ago. She has always been a passionate animal lover and is her passion for providing a safe and loving home to the animals at the sanctuary is evident. She has dreams that in the future she will be working full time at the sanctuary, caring for the animals as well as the huge task that goes along with managing the pastures, fencing, and building the Sanctuary. They hope they will be able to access some support which would allow them to provide a home for even more permanent and foster residents and to build a huge, off-grid barn. They have recently applied for charity status.

The stories of the animals B shares are heart-warming. Two horses who reside at the sanctuary, Solstice and King Winter, were just babies when they were herded onto a truck, along with 50 of their family members, bound for the slaughter yards. With only 30 minutes to spare before dog meat traders bought them, enough money was raised to outbid the traders, known as ‘doggers’ and the two horses were saved. B tells me there is a massive over-breeding problem here in Australia, and most parts of the world) which sadly leads to ending up unwanted and sent to slaughter houses.

Another successful rescue story is that of little Jasper, an older Shetland pony. When he first came into B’s care, Jasper wouldn’t allow anyone to touch him.

Jasper had a chronic eye infection in both of his eyes.

With a lot of patience, love and treats, they were able to gently bathe and treat his eyes. it didn’t take long before they were completely healed and he was a much happier pony.

“We couldn’t get near him without him kicking with his hind legs, but it was because he was living in constant pain.”

The youngest resident to arrive at the sanctuary to date is Peppi, a male calf who was just five days old

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when he arrived. Male calves are often referred to as ‘bobby calves’ and are sadly considered a burden in the dairy industry. Peppi came to the Sanctuary along with his cousin, Sunny, and was gravely ill due to the negligence of a scam artist masquerading as an animal rescuer. The calves had been taken away from their mothers at a very young age. They share the farm with Twinkle Toes, another cow and his three-generation family after being surrendered by a macadamia farmer who no longer had a place for them during the drought.

Twinkle Toes is a lover of cuddles.

“Cows are such gentle beings. Once they feel safe and you gain their trust, they love nothing more than cuddles. They also love to be sung to, especially gentle lullabies!”

Many of the chickens and ducks who now call the Sanctuary home were rescued from intensive farming situations where they never saw the light of day.

A number of the ducks had never even seen a body of water before arriving at the farm. Now they are able to swim, splash and wander. Despite many arriving with chronic health issues, all of the sanctuary’s feathered family are now in great health and spend their days free ranging and foraging across the paddocks and dams.

Along with Gemma, a gentle ex-racehorse in her mid-thirties, and Dusty, an Australian wild horse called a Brumby, the latest arrivals to the farm include Ebon, a 23-year-old horse, two goats, two sheep, three huge cows, a family of ducks, some hens, and a little bottle-feeding bobby calf called Surya.

Visitors to the Sanctuary have an opportunity to hear the stories of the animals and connect with them in really personal ways. Although only minutes from the highway, the Sanctuary really does feel a million miles away from the hustle and bustle of life with fresh sea breezes, super clean water, expansive open spaces and happy, relaxed animals roaming free.

“It’s so amazing watching visitors interact with the animals. They have such different experiences and many have been quite life changing! “ The story of the Owl and the Pussy Cat Farm is a tale about following your heart and passion. B hopes that through the sanctuary, more people are becoming aware that many animals need to be rescued, for a variety of reasons.

B hopes to spread the “adopt, don’t shop” mantra, encouraging responsible and well thought out pet ownership, conscious consumerism of animal products and environmentally conscious farming practices.

For the animals at the Owl and the Pussy Cat, there has been a happy ending as they live out their days roaming freely and supported with love by their human family.

To support, or donate to the Owl and the Pussy Cat Farm Animal Sanctuary, or to subscribe to their monthly newsletters, visit http://www.owlandpussycatfarm.com.au To visit the farm, please check their website for opening hours and further details.

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The Good Girl Confessional

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Podcast

@thegoodgirlconfessional facebook.com/GoodGirlConfessional The Good Girl Confessional Podcast 69

Kimberly H Coleman International model, speaker, body image advocate, Blind Grit Angel, writer, and Goddess. Kimberly was a panellist and model for the ‘UNDERNEATH WE ARE’ by Amy Herrmann, and ‘The Skin I’m In’, by Ferrell Phelps- book projects on positive body image. She was featured in the Dove #ShowUs online project and continues to dismantle negative stigmas and break down barriers with the goal to promote positivity around ostomy and cancer awareness.

Kentucky, USA Image: Amy D Hermann, from her book - Underneath We Are

“Innovative and adaptable fashion can create a feeling of being limitless and empowered. Fashion affects more than just my physical person, it’s a mood, a vibe, and a whole spirit!”

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Inclusive Fashion What is it and why should we care?

BY NIKKI HIND

Inclusive Fashion. It’s like the fashion world’s version of an over played song on the radio; you can’t help but have heard of it. There’s a huge amount of talking about it, reporting on it, brands claiming they’re doing it, brands trying to do it, industry shows scrambling to prioritize it, social outrage at the lack of it, money being thrown at it, and customers wanting it.

However, a quick search of the Internet reveals there is currently no definition of ‘Inclusive Fashion”; or even a general consensus on what it is.

I have a particular interest in this topic. As Australia’s first blind fashion designer and the founder of Blind Grit – seemingly the world’s first fashion label built entirely of and around those who live with disability, I know what I believe ‘Inclusive Fashion’ is, and why I care deeply that we, as an industry, get it collectively correct. Although I am clearly coming from a disability perspective, I feel my overarching ideology is more around the powerfully innovative potential of diversity.

Fashion is arguably our most powerful social communicator of what is alluring. Fashion has always been at the forefront of social inclusion movements; bestowing acceptance and prestige on cultures and sexualities that were previously vilified.

Fashion overtly prescribes what’s desirable, and by omission, what’s not. So, human nature means many desperately want to see ourselves reflected in this Almighty Mirror Of Social Value.

Late last year, I was lucky enough to be asked to join a panel of Adaptive Fashion leaders from around the world, at the National Ability Summit (NAS) in India.

Varijia Bajaj created the Summit with the determined intention of not continually repeating historical learning curves, in terms of inclusion of persons with disabilities in the mainstream society.

Inclusive Fashion is certainly not a new concept.

Stephanie Thomas, fellow NAS panellist and arguably the world’s leading Disability Fashion Stylist, says there are books on this topic dating back to the mid 50’s, that are just as relevant today as they were 65 years ago. In the 70’s Levi’s (Levi Stauss & Co) were part of the movement; and it was called ‘Functional Fashion’.

So what are we not getting right as an industry ?

Why are we constantly reinventing the Inclusive Fashion wheel ?

To me, it feels like a no-brainer, that you need people with disabilities at the decision-making tables, at all levels of the fashion industry. We still have an inclusive fashion industry driven by creating fashion for people who live with disability, rather than with people who live with disability.

Now, I realize that I appear to be getting Inclusive Fashion confused with Adaptive Fashion, but just hear me out.

Throughout history disability & trauma have produced innate experts in creating resilience, being adaptive, problem solving, innovative thinking & meaningful, inclusive living, tempered by a deep connection with the human experience.

Let me break this down into the three key flow-on benefits of having kick ass passionate, specialised disabled leaders at your decision-making tables, at all levels of the fashion industry: Disability leaders will bring in other diversity leaders because they understand the importance and potential. The disability community is still the most under -served by the fashion industry.

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An exciting, innovative, spicy industry-marinade, that will delight, engage and benefit everyone!

What’s good for disability, is good for everyone.

And before you know it, you just have ‘Fashion’. A win/win outcome, where the industry gets to retain its integral exclusivity, whilst achieving genuine inclusivity and scalability.

That’s my vision; a future fashion industry that has shifted its focus from trying to manage and scale currently segregated streams, to creating one vibrant river, flowing effortlessly and indecipherable together.

I hope to help navigate the path to this magical place, by encouraging the fashion industry to establish a universally accepted definition of Inclusive Fashion; one that can be measured and benchmarked.

Grab your moral fashion compasses and follow me.

So, is Inclusive Fashion achievable, measurable, definable, scalable?

Is Inclusive Fashion an oxymoron; given the power of the term comes largely from fashion’s intrinsic exclusive nature? To help me bring some clarity to this catwalk of questions, I asked a few of my favourite fashion industry leaders to explain what Inclusive Fashion means to them.

Luke Dean Marketing Events Manager, ANZ, AFTERPAY Luke has more than 12 years’ experience in the creative development and strategy of events, sponsorships and content delivering for brands such as Vogue, David Jones, The Iconic, Myer, Mecca, L’Oréal, Alex Perry, Melbourne Fashion Festival and Sydney Fashion Week.

Sydney, Australia

“Throughout my experience working with International and local brands across fashion and beauty I have witnessed a more collective consciousness around inclusivity as one of the ‘hot’ buzzwords. This shift in business attitude is not new, it has been part of an evolution for 10 + years.

What we have seen in the market can be perceived as tokenistic and brings us to an increase in questioning from the consumer. Are brands being authentic? Or are they just ticking a box to be seen to stay relevant.

Tokenism in fashion and beauty has a negative connotation but I don’t think it necessarily reflects a libellous approach. Nearly all major change starts with being uncomfortable, with responsibility falling on all of us to push diversity through our day to day until the sentiment changes from tokenism to standard practice. Tokenism isn’t such a ‘dirty’ word, it’s the step before change.

We still have a long way to go and it’s time for much bigger steps but I feel most of us are walking in the same direction.”

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Varijia Bajaj

Romee Erens

Founder at Varija Lifestyles, O&Y, Lela, Varija Home, Varija Life and The Career Talks.

Innovation Sourcing - Impact Hub Network

Varijia is a fashion designer and academic researcher consulting in more than 40 colleges across India, founder of the National Ability Summit, a strong disability advocate who is revolutionising inclusion of persons with disabilities in the mainstream society in India.

Delhi, India

“The term inclusive fashion technically is a paradox when we try to define it in management terminology. Being inclusive means including everyone’s needs and desires in your product offerings. On the contrary they say you should never try to cater to all, and instead clearly define your target audience.

I would like to redefine inclusive fashion from the universal perspective. Imagine if you were blind and didn’t know what is the front and what is the back of an outfit? Or even inside or outside of an outfit? But then imagine the front and back is similar. Imagine further that the outfit is reversible and it does not matter if you have worn the wrong side. Because there is no wrong side. It’s just a different side. I wish more is thought on these lines by fashion fraternity around the world to include a larger spectrum of humanity.”

Through her role at Impact Hub Network, Romee scouts for ‘Tommy Hilfiger Fashion Frontier Challenge’ - helping Tommy Hilfiger search for the most impactful and inclusive fashion businesses worldwide.

Amsterdam, Netherland

“Due to my career, I’ve been privileged to speak to many innovative fashion entrepreneurs across the globe, and I’ve been in awe of what people can create and achieve throughout the entire fashion chain, as long as respect and love is at the centre of it all - for humans as well as the planet.

From all corners of the world I’ve seen such inspiring initiatives - from Colombia to China and from South Africa to Sweden. What inclusive fashion means to me is that we are all able to feel empowered through the way we present ourselves.”

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them.

Michelle Roger Disabled writer, artist, international model, and fashion lover Gippsland, Australia.

“Inclusive fashion is a multifaceted concept that begins long before an item or brand first makes the public view. It begins in the institutions that teach design and who they allow in. It begins in making these spaces accessible and actively seeking to encourage diverse students to apply and providing a dedicated understanding and support of diverse access needs to further their chances at success.

It is found in board rooms and on cutting floors, behind cameras and in the magazines that traditionally gatekeep and define fashion and style. It is about actively engaging with the communities that brands want to represent from the outset rather than as an afterthought. And a dedication to diversifying the employment process at all levels.

It is in these places where inclusion begins and flows onto the clothes we design and the people we envision wearing

Inclusive fashion is one that reflects the reality of our populations. It is found in embracing the beauty in diversity that exists within groups rather than trying to force a traditional beauty aesthetic onto traditionally unrepresented groups. Inclusive fashion is also about who can access the shows that showcase designs and designers, be they buyer, fashion lover or model, and the accessibility of the shops that eventually sell the clothing.

It is about an authentic, consistent and supported belief that sees the active inclusion and representation of all peoples from our communities as central to the industry at all levels.”

Nikki Hind, WB40’s Fashion Editor is the founder of fashion label Blind Grit, and is an Inclusion and Diversity Media Adviser, with a passion for inclusion in fashion. Nikki is Australia’s first blind fashion designer, and has a background in PR, communications and event management. www.blindgrit.com 74

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“

I was in the hospital for a long time and I was surrounded by only white nurses and doctors. There were no mirrors. When my parents came to take me home, I was shocked that they were black. I just didn’t realise, at such a young age, that I was black myself. I had no idea. My reaction must have been so hard for them

“

Gayle Kennedy Page 54

ISSN: 2652-9564