Friendship
Katy Shevel | Friday, June 26, 2026
Growing up as a 90’s church kid, one of our pastors was a huge fan of the TV show The Simpsons. When I was a teenager in Confirmation Class, our curriculum was based on Mark I. Pinsky’s book The Gospel According to The Simpsons. We were the “guinea pigs,” a.k.a. the first class to use this curriculum. I remember feeling like such trailblazers getting to watch clips (on VHS!) of Homer Simpson’s antics in the Youth Room. Now I have no idea what the adult members of our congregation thought about this. As kids, our consensus was: “This is great!”
Say what you will about the show, there are some hidden theological gems. One of my favorite scenes is when Homer picks up a Bible and reads it for the first time. “Talk about a preachy book!” Homer scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Everyone’s a sinner!” Then pointing to a passage referencing Jesus, he notes with a smile. “Except for this guy ”
Then, there is Homer Simpson’s famous friendship with his Bible-thumping, nextdoor-neighbor Ned Flanders, known for cheerily greeting everyone with his gimmicky catchphrases. (“Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor-ino!”) From day one, Homer takes full advantage of Ned’s generous spirit, asking to borrow Ned’s couch. Over the years, Homer accumulates a running list of Ned’s loaned items that he never returns: TV trays, a power sander, and even a bathtub.
When the Simpson family prepares to move to a different town, Ned approaches Homer
“Uh, uh, Homer, uh… about those things you borrowed from me over the years… You gonna be needing those things in Cypress Creek?”
“Yes,” says Homer.
“Oh, uh ”
Homer forcefully interrupts, “Okily dokily?”
“Okily dokily!”
Finding Friendship
Ned and Homer’s relationship shines a satirical light on the challenges of being in a friendship where your good efforts aren’t always reciprocated or appreciated. To some degree, everyone knows what it’s like to be friends with a “Homer Simpson.” This would be the friend who doesn’t initiate any get-togethers with you or remember your birthday. Your friendship feels like a one-sided sacrifice, where it seems you are always the one meeting their needs.
Let’s face it though. As life ebbs and flows, at some point or another, each of us will be too busy, too tired, and too distracted to pour into our friendships the way we should. For example, I have been riding around for months with a large baking sheet in the backseat of my car that I am embarrassingly overdue in returning to a friend. Part of this is normal. In different seasons of life, we will need more from our friends than we are able to give them in return. And vice versa. Hopefully, we communicate thoughtfully and kindly to let our buddies know in advance when our priorities need to shift. Preferably, the shift is a temporary one. But how do we know when it is right to stick it out in a one-sided friendship — and for how long?
In the Old Testament, Jonathan and David’s friendship was a tad more challenging than David not returning Jonathan’s cookie sheet Jonathan is the son of Saul, the current king over Israel David is Jonathan’s beloved friend, the Lord’s chosen heir to the throne As David’s popularity and influence grows, Saul is incited with murderous rage Saul tries to kill his son ’ s friend a total of six times
Surrounding Saul’s hate and jealousy is the story of Jonathan and David’s covenant of friendship to one another “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and
Jonathan loved him as his own soul Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul” (1 Sam 18: 1, 3) Jonathan bound himself to David and swore his loyalty to him out of love Despite Jonathan being overlooked as the successor to his father’s throne, he supported his friend fully He was David’s eyes and ears within the palace, particularly pertaining to his father’s plans and capricious mood swings
Ultimately, Jonathan’s allegiance to David saved his friend’s life He helped protect David from his father’s campaign of murder and aided in David’s successful escape to safety As he bid farewell to David one final time, Jonathan declared, “Go in peace, since both of us have sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you and between my descendants and your descendants forever ’ ” After repeatedly putting himself at risk in helping David escape from his father, once they parted ways, Jonathan never saw his friend again
Jonathan put nearly everything on the line for David: his family, his career, and even his own life Despite everything, his devotion to his friend and his trust in God remained wholly intact Not at all mutually exclusive, in the case of Jonathan and David’s relationship, friendship and faith went inexorably hand-in-hand
“Jesus said, ‘Put “Jesus ‘Put “Jesus said, ‘Put
Resting upon the foundation of their love and commitment to one another, David and Jonathan’s friendship withstood the most difficult circumstances For Jonathan, however, the cost was unquestionably the steepest From their relationship, Pastor Eugene Peterson observes that Jonathan reaped “little or no emotional reward ” So why did Jonathan stick it out, knowing that he would never receive back from David any part of what he would ultimately sacrifice for their friendship?
Eugene Peterson writes, “Friendship is a muchunderestimated aspect of spirituality It’s every bit as significant as prayer and fasting Like the sacramental use of water and bread and wine, friendship takes what’s common in human experience and turns it into something holy ”
Is it possible that Jonathan knew that by being present for David, he was living into a sacramental calling far greater than he could ever imagine? I suspect that Jonathan must have known that friendship sometimes serves God’s purposes more than our own Certainly, Jonathan also was well-aware that without him, David would be lost Quite literally David would not have survived and would not have been able to step into the incredible calling that God had upon his own life: to one day rule as king, to lead and unite a fractured nation, to return God’s people to a life of faith, and finally to help the people of ancient Israel reclaim their true identity as God’s chosen people
On this Friday afternoon, I am continuing to ponder the lessons that we should take today from David and Jonathan’s friendship Sometimes, one-sided sacrifices in friendships are inevitable due to life’s twists and turns Onesided sacrifices for our friends may also be profound and heartfelt expressions of our faith Indeed, it’s a sacred act to pour out for someone we love in our lives who needs us, especially when we know they can’t return the favor
Do you still have questions? Great news for you! I am preaching on the story of David and Jonathan during our 10 am service on Sunday, July 5th Join me in worship that Sunday, and we will continue to explore these themes of sacrifice and faith in David and Jonathan’s friendship, as well as in our modern friendships
Until then, I will leave you with a favorite quote of mine In his lovely collection Consolations, poet David Whyte pens some powerful words about friendship: “A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy ”
REV.KATYPREACHING SSTILLHAVEQUESTIONS? STILLHAVEQUESTIONS? TILLHAVEQUESTIONS?
SUNDAY,JULY 5|10AM 5|10AM
