Watermark's Rainbow Family Guide 2020

watermark's

Rainbow

Family Guide - 2020 -

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watermark's

Rainbow Family Guide Watermark's Rainbow Family Guide is published

by Watermark publishing Group

Contents Introduction 7

Owner & Publisher

Rick Claggett

"As They Are" 9

Business Manager

Kathleen Sadler Tampa Bay Bureau Chief

"Loving Homes" 15

Ryan Williams-Jent CEntral Florida Bureau Chief

Family-Friendly Activities

20

Jeremy Williams Editorial Intern

"Family Fun" 21

Edward Segarra Contributing Writer

Steve Blanchard CReative

Dylan Todd

"Finding Fatherhood" 25 "Between the Shades of Blue and Pink"

26

Sales Director

Danny Garcia Senior Tampa Bay Account Manager

Business Directory 30

Russ Martin Senior Orlando Account Manager

Sam Callahan Founder and Guiding Light

Tom Dyer Š Watermark Publishing Group Phone:

ORL: 407-481-2243 TB: 813-655-9890

editor@WatermarkOnline.com WatermarkOnline.com

Contents of this Rainbow Family Guide 2020 are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of the publishers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members or organizations. Watermark Publishing Group cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.

7

Being Seen

LGBTQ family information and resources for all colors of the rainbow

A

Edward Segarra

s someone in my early 20s and a member of the LGBTQ community, I have enough proximity to my earlier youth to recall the emotional through line of this period of my life

with ease. A gnawing craving for acceptance always sat at the pit of my stomach. What I wanted more than anything was the warm reassurance that who I am was perfectly fine.

In October 2017, I stumbled upon an episode

platform was healing for my inner child.

of the Disney Channel series “Andi Mack.” I

It gave me immense hope for the LGBTQ

had heard some buzz about the show online

youth of today.

because reportedly one of its episodes was

I think diverse media representation

going to feature a coming-out scene. Out of

can be extremely impactful in creating a

curiosity, I decided to tune in. It turned out that

more LGBTQ-inclusive world for younger

one of the characters on the show, Cyrus, had a

generations. To see yourself reflected

crush on his best friend’s love interest, Jonah.

in some aspect of popular culture

Sitting in the middle of a diner, Cyrus confided

that you revere is validating because

in his other best friend, Buffy, about this recent

it provides an instant feeling of

development.

recognition: a powerful message

After making his confession, with eyes

that says “we see you and there’s a

cast downward, Cyrus expressed a sense

place for you here.” So, when I see a

of uneasiness.

television show like Nickelodeon’s

“Buffy, I feel weird … different,” Cyrus

“The Loud House” which features

said. Grabbing his hands, Buffy quickly

a character with same-sex

reassured him.

parents or hear alternative pop

“Cyrus, you’ve always been weird, but you’re no different,” she responded.

This scene lasted a total of two minutes and

singer Halsey singing openly about her bisexuality on Top 40 radio, it makes me

10 seconds but somehow managed to make

feel like the future is

my heart swell with an emotional relief I had

in better hands than

never experienced before while watching

it once was. I know

television. Like many of my generation, I

these things might

grew up with the stories and characters of the

seem fleeting and

Disney Channel. To see a younger character

inconsequential

mirror my queerness with such a purity and

to some, but

to see emotions I had experienced in my

they are also

early adolescence represented with such

a signal that

sensitivity and compassion on a mainstream

the narratives within society are gradually expanding.

Those voices and that representation is what we tried to collect in this, Watermark’s inaugural Rainbow Family Guide. In these pages, we have pulled together stories, resources and activities to understand and express yourself, no matter your age. In this guide, you will find Central Florida and Tampa Bay resources for LGBTQ youth, advice for same-sex parents looking into adoption or foster care, a feature on early gender identity and a list of activities for kids with local family-friendly events.

From Watermark's rainbow family to yours, we hope you find this resource useful and enjoy the guide.

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As They Are Parenting LGBTQ youth with love

HRC released the first in a series of reports entitled “Growing Up LGBT in America” in 2018. The organization

ALSOYouth.org | 941-951-2576

LGBTQ youth ages 13-17 from

Sarasota’s LGBTQ youth-focused organization, which has merged with Prism Youth Initiative in Mantatee County, 941-357-0111, PrismYouth.org.

across the country, the largest known sampling of its type.

The survey measured key factors impacting their respondents had heard antiLGBTQ messaging from elected officials and 92% had heard it from sources like school, where they are twice as likely than their heterosexual peers to be harassed. “The deck is stacked against young people growing up lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender in America,” HRC’s report reads. “It is critical that we get a better understanding

“I

of the experiences, needs and concerns of LGBT youth.”

Nine in 10 LGBTQ youth

Ryan Williams-Jent

t’s you I like. It’s not the things you

reported that they had come out to close friends, sharing their sexual orientation or gender

wear; it’s not the way you do your

identity even when they hadn’t

hair. But it’s you I like, the way you are

those friendships matter, HRC

right now – the way down deep inside you; not These words were first

shared with children in 1971 by beloved television personality

exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”

That’s why he shared with youth that it was “you I like,

them for years while welcoming

every part of you. Your skin, your

viewers into “Mister Rogers’

eyes, your feelings; whether

Neighborhood” for 31 seasons.

old or new. I hope that you remember even when you’re

Presidential Medal of Freedom

feeling blue, that it’s you I like;

in 2002, shared a number of

it’s you yourself, it’s you.”

lessons applicable to parenting

stressed, so does the role of the parent. heading towards greater

Fred Rogers. The host reiterated

Rogers, who was awarded the

done so with their parents. While

“While these youth are

the things that hide you.”

That kind of support is critical

then and now. “Love isn’t a

for youth, the Human Rights

state of perfect caring,” he

Campaign (HRC) says. As the

explained. “It is an active noun

nation’s largest LGBTQ-focused

like ‘struggle.’ To love someone

equality organization, they are

is to strive to accept that person

often the first point-of-contact

ALSO Youth

surveyed 10,000 self-identified

lives. It found that 68% of

Photo courtesy Metro Inclusive Health

PARENTING LGBTQ YOUTH RESOURCES

independence, parents still shape and influence their feelings of safety and well– being,” the organization says.

“Your words and actions are being watched. Stand up for your children if they are harassed or abused due to their identity.”

Information about how best to do that is available from a number of sources – including PFLAG, the nation’s first family and ally organization. Founded in 1972, it has grown into the nation’s largest support network

American Academy of Pediatrics AAP.org | 866-843-2271

Association of pediatricians, offering resources on LGBTQ youth at HealthyChildren.org.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC.gov | 800-232-4636

The nation’s health protection agency, offering resources on LGBTQ youth at CDC.gov/LGBTHealth.

Equality Florida EQFL.org | 813-870-3735

The state’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization.

Human Rights Campaign HRC.org | 202-628-4160

The nation’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization.

Lambda Legal LambdaLegal.org | 212-809-8585

The nation’s largest legal organization dedicated to LGBTQ equality.

Metro Inclusive Health MetroTampaBay.org | 727-321-3854

Tampa Bay’s LGBTQ-inclusive health and wellness center, with offices in Clearwater, 727-220-0550; New Port Richey, 727-494-7625; Tampa, 813-232-3808 and headquarters in St. Petersburg.

for young LGBTQ people.

Continued on pg. 12 | uu |

Continued on pg. 12 | uu |

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The organization adds that

| uu | Parenting LGBTQ

Youth Resources Cont. from pg.9

National Center for Transgender Equality TransEquality.org 202-642-4542

The nation’s leading social justice advocacy organization for transgender people.

Orlando Youth Alliance OrlandoYouthAlliance.org 407-244-1222

Orlando’s LGBTQ youthfocused organization, with chapters in Seminole, SeminoleYouthAlliance.org and Lakeland, LakelandYouthAlliance.org.

PFLAG PFLAG.org | 202-467-8180

The nation’s largest organization uniting families with the LGBTQ community.

Chapters include Dunedin, 727-279-0449, PFLAGDunedin.org; Lakeland/Polk County, PFLAGOfPolkCounty.org; Orlando, 321-286-5350, PFLAGOrlando.org; Melbourne, 321-750-4141; New Smyrna Beach/Volusia, 386-957-4479, PFLAG.org/Chapter/PFLAGNew-Smyrna-BeachVolusia; Sarasota, PFLAGSarasota.org; St. Petersburg, 727-490-9044, PFLAGStPete.org; Tampa, 863-535-5239; PFLAGTampa.org and Wesley Chapel/Pasco, 443-606-0993; PFLAGWCPasco.org

The Trevor Project TheTrevorProject.org | 866-488-7386

The nation’s leading LGBTQ youth suicide prevention organization.

Zebra Coalition ZebraCoalition.org | 407-228-1446

Central Florida’s network of organizations proving services to LGBTQ youth.

| uu | As They Are from pg.9

for LGBTQ people, their parents, families and other allies.

The organization now has more than 400 chapters and 200,000 members across the country, including throughout Central Florida and Tampa Bay. “It is impossible to overstate the impact of one parent or family member listening to, seeking help from and offering love and acceptance to another,” PFLAG shares. The organization seeks to create “tiny moments of truth and hope among people whose love for their LGBTQ+ family members and friends sometimes comes into conflict with established authorities in their lives.”

Those conflicts can come from religious institutions, employers, educators, coaches, doctors and other family members.

LGBTQ-focused organizations aren’t the only resource for parenting LGBTQ youth. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) – which represents 67,000 pediatricians – has worked to assist parents since 1930. “Coming out is a lifelong journey of understanding, acknowledging and sharing one’s gender identity and/or sexual orientation with others,” they share. “It is important for parents to remember each child is unique and will have their own experiences and feelings along the way.”

Those who identify as LGBTQ are members of every community, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) adds. “They are diverse, come from all walks of life and include people of all races and ethnicities, all ages, all socioeconomic statuses and from all parts of the country.”

their creativity soar and just be

positive parenting practices

themselves in a judgment-free,

help reduce risky behaviors

safe space.”

as children grow. “Parental

Metro Inclusive Health

rejection has been linked

has served Tampa Bay’s

to depression, use of drugs

LGBTQ community in a similar

and alcohol and risky sexual

fashion since 1993, partnering

behavior,” they note.

with PFLAG and other

They also insist children

organizations ever since. Their

do not choose to be LGBTQ,

health and community services

stressing that “not withdrawing

are offered throughout

from your role as a parent

St. Petersburg, Tampa,

is probably one of the most

Clearwater and New Port Richey.

important ways to help a child

Its programming is open to

continue to feel a sense of

youth of all gender and sexual

being cared for and accepted.”

identities and orientations.

They recommend providing

“When we say ALL are welcome,

support, staying involved and

we mean it!” Metro shares.

being proactive.

“LGBTQ programs and events

Local Central Florida and

are designed as safe spaces

Tampa Bay organizations are one

for individuals to make new

of the best ways to do that. The

friends, socialize and find

Orlando Youth Alliance (OYA!)

support through similarly-

has offered support groups from

identified peers.”

facilitators for Central Florida’s

To provide inclusive

LGBTQ youth since 1990,

services that are relevant to

expanding to include chapters in

the community, Metro offers

Seminole and Lakeland because

a variety of youth-focused

“the children are our future.”

programming. It ranges from

The Zebra Coalition, a

weekly peer and parent support

network of organizations

groups to an annual LGBTQ

which also offers services in

Youth Summer Camp.

the area, provides additional

“LGBTQ+ youth don’t always

opportunities for youth. “Come

get the chance to just be kids,”

as you are and get the chance to

the organization shared this

socialize, be creative, have a new

year ahead of its fourth outing.

experience or just have some

“They have to carry the weight

fun,” they share.

of the world on their shoulders,

Each organization collaborates

always wondering when the next

with others in the area to

hardship will hit. Our Summer

empower LGBTQ youth and

Camp is a time for LGBTQ+

educate parents, including The

youth to kick back, laugh and

LGBT+ Center in Orlando. The

build lasting connections with

organization has provided a

people who understand and

safe space for LGBTQ Central

respect them.”

Floridians since 1978, expanding

HRC shares that every parent

to Kissimmee to provide health

and youth-serving professional

services and community-focused

has an obligation to identify

programming in each area.

and protect LGBTQ youth. They

Their partnerships with

also urge “we must reassure

the Center provide a space for

our youth of their value, dignity

LGBTQ youth to specifically

and future.” That can begin at

“speak openly with their peers,

home, utilizing the resources

offer each other support, let

listed here.

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Loving Homes What you need to know if you plan to become foster or adoptive parents Jeremy Williams Along with being able to marry the person

several independent companies within

you are in love with, having children and

the organization, they are able to support

starting a family seemed like unattainable

these kids through foster care, adoption,

dreams for many in the LGBTQ community.

mentoring and more.

This is due to the fact that in the U.S.,

“We welcome any person or couple who

same-sex marriage and LGBTQ people being

wants to love on our kids and give them a safe

adoptive and foster parents was illegal.

and secure home, whether it is fostering or

In Florida, marriage equality was not legal until 2015 and the ability for an LGBTQ

adoption,” Coleman says.

When deciding on whether to become a

individual or same-sex couple to adopt or

foster parent or an adoptive parent, the first

foster a child was against the law until 2010.

thing you need to do is consider which one

As laws have caught up to what the community already knew — love is

you are looking to do.

“There are instances where if a parent’s

love — more same-sex couples are creating

rights are terminated that a foster parent

their own modern families in these more

could potentially adopt that child, but that

progressive and open times.

is not always the final say,” Coleman says.

Equality Florida, a statewide LGBTQ

That’s because if there’s another family

organization, is a great resource for general

member,that child could potentially be sent

information on the types of adoption

to live with them, if not reunified with their

available to same-sex couples. They include

biological parents.

single adoption, in which an individual

“If that didn’t work out and let’s say the

adopts a child through a private agency or the

foster parent was an option of permanent

Florida Department of Children and Families

residency for that child then the foster parent

(DCF); joint adoption, where you and your

could adopt that child,” she continues.

spouse can legally adopt a child; step-parent

“But the goal of the foster parent is to love

adoption, in which one spouse already legally

on these kids and prepare for them to be

has a child and the other wants to protect

reunified with their parents, family members

their rights as a step-parent; and second-

or someone that’s close to them.”

parent adoption, which is similar to step-

Whether your endgame is adopting or

parent adoption where the same-sex couple

fostering, Coleman says you will begin the

is unmarried.

process on the same path, with what she calls

An individual or couple will have to figure out which type of adoption best fits for their situation. “The first step, regardless

“training classes” and one specific question: What ages are you interested in?

“A lot of couples that come in, they have

of which path you are interested in, is to

this scenario in their head of a family that’s

call an agency,” says Kyraneshia Coleman, a

just starting out and they want to have

recruitment manager with Central Florida’s

babies. Unfortunately, if you tell us you want

Embrace Families.

a child ages 0-5, we don’t really have littles;

Embrace Families is an organization whose mission first and foremost is the well being of the children in their care. Through

I call them littles, we don’t really have littles in our world,” Coleman says.

“The average age of a child we deal with is 10, so a lot of times those who are available for adoption or fostering, they’re all over the age of 10, and a majority of them are teens,” she says. “We have sibling groups of two or more and we have kiddos with disabilities.”

Coleman says adoptive parents who are set on adopting “littles” would have a better chance utilizing private adoption agencies in Florida. A private adoption would be one arranged without state or government involvement. Many of those agencies are religious-based and tend to be conservative, so research is encouraged.

A great first step in knowing your agency’s stance on LGBTQ individuals and couples adopting is checking out which agencies actively reach out to the community. Several agencies including Embrace Families, Pinellas-Pasco Heart Gallery, Connecting Hearts and Devereux have advertised in this and other Watermark publications. Also look out for agencies that set up booths at Pride festivals and other LGBTQ events.

“We work very close with organizations like Zebra Coalition and The Center Orlando holding informational sessions and community outreach to let same-sex couples know that we want them,” Coleman says.

Once you have found an agency you want to work with, it’s time to go back to school.

“Each agency will be a little different in their training, but with us, training classes are about 10 weeks long and you will learn about our system of care and how these kids came into our care in the first place,” Coleman says. “A lot of times what people hear about foster care or adoption is what they see on TV, so we break that down for them because we want them to be fully educated about what they’re signing up for.”

Coleman says imagine you are wearing a tool belt as a new parent. What tools are you going to want in that belt to make sure you are able to be the best parent you can be?

“No two children are alike, everything that you might experience is very different so we want to make sure that you can combat whatever that may look like,” she says.

“Some of these topics are on sexual abuse, Continued on pg. 18 | uu |

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Modern Families Randy Lowe and Joshua Melendez (Top and Bottom L) and Melinda and Betty Potts-Cerio (Top and Bottom R) proudly show off their adopted children in their family photos.

Photos courtesy Embrace Families

| uu | Loving Homes from pg.15

topics on culture, on mental health, past traumas. We talk a lot about when a child is acting out, throwing a tantrum – a lot of times what you see on the surface, there’s something else going on in there. As a foster parent or adoptive parent we want you to figure out what that ‘why’ is. Let’s get down to the root of what it is.”

Once training is done, it is time for a home visit. Along with seeing where these kids will be living, background checks and interviews are done as well so the agency can make sure that kids in your care will be safe.

This is where the path to foster kids and adopt kids will start to differ. Coleman says that couples and individuals looking to adopt can sometimes wait anywhere from

six months to a year before the process of a

able to get information on a child without

home study is complete.

a completed home study.

“That time frame is not set in stone, but

Her biggest piece of advice to future

we are very transparent with the adoptive

parents looking to adopt is that you have to

parents,” she says. With so many kids in

be patient, you have to be open and you have

foster care, those kids are given priority, so

to be flexible.

foster parents will tend to get through that process faster.

One key thing to keep in mind, Coleman

“Remember that you are doing this to give a child a good home and to love on them,” she says. “You can be married, single, gay,

says, is that the system does not match you

straight, any race; we don’t care about those

with a child.

things. You don’t have to rich or a home

“Adoptive families need to understand we

owner or promise to take them to Disney

don’t go into this trying to match the family

every day. These kids just want someone

to the kid,” she says, “we match the kid to

who is going to love them and not give

the family. The adoptive child is placed based

up on them.”

on their need, not the couple’s need.”

There are websites adoptive parents can

To get started, if you are in Orange, Osceola or Seminole Counties, visit

utilize to find kids needing to be adopted.

EmbraceFamilies.org; if you are in Pinellas or

Coleman mentions AdoptUSKids.org, but

Pasco County, visit HeartGalleryofAmerica.

says to keep in mind that you will not be

org; and for more general information, visit EQFL.org/Family_Recognition.

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20

Colors of Pride!

T

he rainbow flag was first used as an LGBTQ symbol in

1978, created by LGBTQ artist and activist Gilbert Baker.

LGBTQ politician Harvey Milk commissioned him to create a flag for a Pride parade in San Francisco, California to unite the community!

Initially, it

who are often

stripes – hot pink,

marginalized. His

red, orange, yellow,

Progress Pride Flag

green, turquoise,

includes white,

indigo and violet

pink and light blue

– but the flag was

– representing the

modified in 1979 to

transgender

focus on six of the

community – as well

colors, losing hot

as brown and black

pink and turquoise.

to represent LGBTQ

Each color was

people of color.

meant to symbolize

Happy Home Word Search!

P

FLAG is the nation’s largest organization dedicated to uniting parents, families and allies with people who are LGBTQ. The organization knows what it means to build a happy home,

which can start with words!

“The power of language to shape our perceptions

associated with

Family can visit

these concepts.”

PFLAG.org/Glossary

Grab a marker

to read about these

of other people is

or pen to find the

and other LGBTQ-

immense,” PFLAG

inclusive terms in

inclusive words!

says. “Precise use of

the Happy Home

terms in regards to

Word Search and

gender and sexual

help complete the

orientation can have

happy home above!

a significant impact

Not sure what

on demystifying

something

many of the

means? You

misperceptions

and your Rainbow

WORD LIST: ALLY ASEXUAL BISEXUAL CISGENDER COMING OUT GAY GENDER FLUID GENDER IDENTITY GENDER PRONOUN LATINX LESBIAN LGBTQ NONBINARY PANSEXUAL QUEER QUESTIONING SEXUAL ORIENTATION TRANSGENDER BONUS: WATERMARK RAINBOW FAMILY GUIDE

the community

featured eight

Grab some

aspects of the

prideful markers to

LGBTQ movement.

mirror the Progress

Red represents

Pride Flag below

life; orange, healing;

to color your own,

yellow, sunlight;

and learn more

green, nature; blue,

about each design

serenity and purple,

at GilbertBaker.com

spirit. LGBTQ

and Quasar.Digital.

designer Daniel Quasar built upon this in recent years to be more inclusive for members of

21

Family Fun

LGBTQ events in Central Florida and Tampa Bay fun for kids of all ages

A

Jeremy Williams

s more LGBTQ couples are starting families, those annual

STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) programs at OSC help kids to explore possible careers in these challenging and rewarding fields through games, experiments and fun activities. OSC offers STEM Summer Campus for various age groups ranging from pre-school to ninth grade. More information can be found at OSC.org/Learn/ Summer-Camps.

The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg is the perfect place for your little ones who are future painters. The museum

getaways, vacas and holidays are starting to become trips

offers Little Surrealists Tours, one-hour

for the entire family to enjoy. Whether you are coming

amazing art and family fun. Careful, the

into Central Florida and Tampa Bay for a visit or if you are a local hoping to find something entertaining for the kids, we have a breakdown of some fun, family-friendly LGBTQ events for you to

Festivals hat better way to celebrate LGBTQ Pride then with your whole family.

Pride parades and festivals are

full of openness, love and acceptance for all people of all ages. Many festivals actually include kid’s zones and family-friendly areas with games, face painting, playgrounds, bounce castles and more.

Central Florida and Tampa Bay are in no short supply of Pride celebrations either with Tampa Pride kicking off in March; Kissimmee Pride, Polk Pride and St Pete Pride in June; Space Coast Pride in September; Come Out With Pride, Come Out St. Pete, Pasco Pride and Volusia Pride in October; and Sanford Pride and Venice Pride in November, just to name a few.

If you have some theatre kids in the family, Orlando Fringe features Kids Fringe every year in May during its International Theatre Festival, the oldest of its kind in the U.S. Kids Fringe spotlights fun and entertaining shows safe for all audiences.

They also have arts and craft areas for the kids to show off their own artistic sides. If the Fringe Festival isn’t enough fun for your little ones, Kids Fringe also hosts CampyCamp, a two-week summer camp filled

sessions for kids ages 4-11 to experience website warns you may accidentally learn a thing or two during all the fun. Find tour dates and more information at TheDali.org/ Event/Little-Surrealists-Tour.

walks, theatrical moments and more. More

W

information can be found at OrlandoFringe.

friendly every day but spending holidays at

org/KidsFringe.

the parks is next-level family fun.

check out no matter what your family’s tastes are.

W

Center at the Orlando Science Center (OSC).

with storytelling, dance parties, nature

I

Learning and Reading

Holidays at the Parks hat kids don’t love a day at the theme parks, regardless of where on the LGBTQ spectrum they identify?

For the most part, all of the parks are family-

Walt Disney World spares no expense to bring the holidays to its parks. Kids

f you have kids who love books, what better

can hang with Mickey Mouse and all his

way to introduce them to new stories

friends in October for Mickey’s Not-So-

than by having them read to you by a drag

Scary Halloween Party and in December for

queen. Drag Queen Story Hours have gained in popularity over the last few years and

Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party.

Universal Studios may not be the best

Central Florida and Tampa Bay have several

place for the kiddos during Halloween

for you to choose from.

Horror Nights, but it's happy holidays for

The LGBT+ Center in Orlando

the whole family when they roll out The

features story time with Gidget Galore

Grinchmas Who-liday Spectacular at Islands

(TheCenterOrlando.org); Momma Ashley Rose

of Adventure and Christmas in the Wizarding

and Bubblegum utilize drag to fundraise and

World of Harry Potter each December.

cultivate family-friendly LGBTQ safe spaces

Much like Universal, you may want to

in Lakeland (RoseDynastyFoundationInc.

keep the kids at home for Busch Gardens'

org); Stephanie Stuart and VynSuazion

Howl-O-Scream, but it's all kids, all day in

read to the kids thanks to events from

December when they showcase “Rudolph the

Pasco Pride (PascoPrideFestival.org);

Red-Nosed Reindeer” characters and Santa’s

and an array of queens bring the kids

House for the Christmas Town celebration.

together in St. Petersburg for Drag Queen

For little brick-builders in the family,

Story Hour Tampa Bay (Facebook.com/

LEGOLAND showcases Halloween fun with

DragQueenStroyHourTampaBay).

Brick-or-Treat each October. In December,

If you like some education in your kid’s

LEGOLAND presents the season with holiday

fun, you can’t go wrong with children’s

shows, winter-themed LEGO sculptures and

programs at local museums. One of our

meet-and-greets with LEGO Santa and LEGO

favorites in Orlando is the STEM Discovery

toy soldier.

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W at e r m a r k ’ s R a i n b o w Fa m i ly G u i d e 2 0 2 0

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Finding Fatherhood

New dads reflect on parenting with pride

W

Steve Blanchard

atching his one-year-old twins begin to explore the

“She was then apologetic for assuming things and we had the sweetest conversation. She was just trying to be friendly and I was trying to educate at the same time. Our goal is to not hide our family in a closet and to show society in general that family comes in many forms.

It’s all about communicating the right way.”

Being a visible family bears some responsibility, something the couple never considered but welcomes. He admits that it was a difficult place to be at first, mostly because he wasn’t sure about his own abilities as a parent.

“I didn’t know how to do this,” he says, recalling the couple’s first three

world led Dr. Julian Sanchez to realize how amazing

sleepless months. He turned to his sister, a

fatherhood is.

parenthood can be scary but “it’s just nature

He always knew he wanted to be a dad, but

had a plan in place, they were surprised when

assumed it wasn't possible while growing up

they got a phone call four weeks earlier than

gay in the 1980s. The idea of two men raising

expected announcing that their boys were

children was weird at the time, Sanchez says.

on the way. “We were actually with friends

But everything changed for him in June 2019

enjoying our last week of being childless,”

when he and his husband Stefan welcomed

Sanchez says.

twins Noah and Julian Peter into the world through surrogacy.

They made it in plenty of time and witnessed the arrival of the twins at a South

Sanchez and his husband had always

Florida hospital. “As soon as the babies

hoped to have twins, even in their early

were born they gave them to us,” Sanchez

stages of planning to be parents in 2016. They

recalls. “It was all just so amazing to

worked together to find both an appropriate

finally hold them.”

egg donor and a proper surrogate.

Watching the boys grow has been the most

“It took us two years to line up everybody

rewarding part of the journey for the couple.

to get this started, even with the help of

“If they don’t want something, they don’t

an agency,” Sanchez reflects. “We went

want it,” Sanchez muses. “They have these

through eight egg donors before we found

little personalities ... I didn’t realize they’d

the right match. Our egg donor had to be

develop into their own so quickly."

an appropriate match both medically and

Sanchez and his husband have now

personally. Once we met our egg donor, we

carved out regular routines that include the

knew she would be perfect.”

twins, saying they have fully embraced their

Once the donor was confirmed, the eggs

new roles and have not had any negative

were fertilized and the embryos were placed

experiences with strangers noticing a family

on ice as the couple searched for a gestational

with two dads.

carrier. After several interviews, they found

“There have been conversations, of

the right woman to carry their twins. “She’s a

course, but they’ve all been positive and

lovely woman who has two kids of her own,”

educational,” Sanchez says.

Sanchez says. “She was so supportive and

He describes a time he was running in

we visited her a lot through the pregnancy.

his neighborhood with his children in

We were involved in every doctor visit either

their jogging stroller. A woman stopped

through Zoom or in person and saw every

him and began talking about the twins,

ultrasound. It was amazing.”

commenting that he’d given “their mom

The Tampa couple wanted their children to be born in South Florida to be closer to

a break for a while.”

“I told her that, ‘no, I was giving the

Sanchez’s parents for support. While the men

other dad the day off,’” Sanchez explains.

right: the sanchez family, photo courtesy dr. julian sanchez

fellow parent, for advice. She advised that … you figure it out,” he recalls.

It seems that his sister was right. Sanchez says that both he and his husband are very comfortable in their roles as dads and are excited to watch their sons grow.

“My hope is that they will grow up in a society that accepts them and that they are never put at a disadvantage for having two dads,” Sanchez says.

“I don’t ever want to be the cause of anything like that in their life," he continues.

"We are grateful to have had the opportunity to have a family and are appreciative of all the help we had along the way from family, selfless donors and gestational carriers, friends, employers and medical teams. It certainly does take a village to raise – and in our case – have a child.”

For a list of resources for building your own family, view our Business Directory on page 30.

W at e r m a r k ’ s R a i n b o w Fa m i ly G u i d e 2 0 2 0

Empowering LGBTQ+ youth and their allies and creating inclusive communities.

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Call Now to learn about recieving a Free Engagement Session!

1470 Boulevard of the Arts Sarasota, FL 34236 (941) 951-2576 www.alsoyouth.org

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29

Between the Shades of Blue and Pink Theybies help reimagine gender and parenting

I

Edward Segarra

s it a boy or a girl? This is one of the most-asked questions

socialize their children and interact with kids in general.

“Raising a child gender-open … avoids the stereotypical treatment that adults often do unintentionally ([e.g.] treating those perceived as boys in a more rough-andtumble way ... while treating those perceived as girls with more gentle cuddles and affection…),” Schwartz says.

When it comes to school-aged children and helping them navigate the norms and attitudes of their school environment, Schwartz says that children at this stage have often established “a consistent gender identity,” but if they haven’t, parents should seek community resources and establish a dialogue with school officials to help create mutual understanding.

“Look at the school board policies for your area, draw on any human rights legislation that supports the inclusion of

someone gets when they are having a baby. However, what if

your child, talk to queer families about what

the answer wasn’t as straightforward as originally thought?

schools and what has been helpful and have

What if there was another answer choice to choose from?

Gender-open parenting, according to the

they may differ from others, are not taught

online parent network Theyby Parenting, is a

to associate [their] body parts with being

parenting style in which a child is given the

a boy or girl. If no one knows a child’s sex,

opportunity to self-define their gender and

these parents theorize, the child can’t be

sex for themself.

pigeonholed into gender stereotypes.”

“A gender neutral pronoun – often

At Theyby Parenting, the online network

they/them/theirs – is used [in place] of

views gender-open parenting as facilitating

[he/him/his] or [she/her/hers], until that

an openness that can build trust between

child identifies their own gender, sex

parent and child and allow for a greater sense

and pronoun,” according to the Theyby

of personal freedom.

Parenting’s official website.

A term has even been coined to describe

According to a 2016 study conducted by the UCLA School of Law Williams Institute,

children who are raised according to a

0.6% of adults living in the U.S. identify as

gender-open parenting style: “theybies.”

transgender. However, Theyby Parenting

In order to ensure their children the

cautions that statistical data may not be fully

autonomy of self-determining their gender,

accurate in reflecting the true extent of the

parents of theybies may make the decision

trans population, due to a lack of disclosure

to not disclose the biological sex of their

resulting from the exclusion of transgender

children to others, in an attempt to avoid the

people from mainstream society. They've

influence of gender norms on their children’s

also stated that a gender-open parenting

development.

style can be beneficial for cisgender

“What makes this ‘gender-open’ style of parenting stand out … is that the parents

children as well.

Adinne Schwartz, a parent representative

do not reveal the sex of their children to

from Theyby Parenting, says that apart from

anyone,” Julie Compton wrote in an article

the benefits it can have for children, gender-

for NBC News. “Even the children, who

open parenting can reshape the way parents

are aware of their own body parts and how

their experiences have been like in their a conversation with school staff before your child enters school,” Schwartz says. “Be prepared to do some education.”

On a societal level, gender-open parenting can pave the way for a more inclusive world that readily embraces the diversity of LGBTQ+ identity and expression.

“Since our children are aware of diverse gender identities and expressions from an early age, they embrace and accept that diversity in others,” Schwartz said.

“Fostering understanding and acceptance as part of the character of our kids is a great benefit to them, but also helps create a more LGBTQ-supportive society and one that embraces all gender-diverse people.”

For more information on gender-open parenting and available resources, visit TheybyParenting.com.

30

Business Directory

ADOPTION & FOSTER SERVICES 26Health

321-800-2922 ext. 1650 26Health.org

Connecting Hearts Adoption – Child Adoption & Home Study Services 407-733-8642 ConnectingHeartsAdoption.com

Embrace Families 321-441-2060 EmbraceFamilies.org

Pinellas – Pasco Heart Gallery 727-479-1845 HeartGalleryKids.org

ATTRACTIONS The Florida Aquarium

PFLAG – Riverview

813-833-7972 PFLAG.org/Chapter/PFLAG-Riverview

813-348-9696 AbsolutelyOptical.com

PFLAG – Sarasota

Thomas Law Firm, PLLC

PFLAG – Wesley Chapel / Pasco

FINANCIAL SERVICES

727-490-9044 PFLAGStPete.org

641-270-2022 PFLAGSarasota.org

443-606-0993 PFLAGWCPasco.org

COMMUNITY YOUTH ORGANIZATIONS ALSO Youth 941-951-2576 ALSOYouth.org

GLSEN

GLSEN.org

Lakeland Youth Alliance

BANK AND CREDIT UNION

Orlando Youth Alliance

813-871-2690 GTEFinancial.org

CAMPS Osceola Arts 407-846-6257 OsceolaArts.org

CHILDCARE Nannies Who Care 727-784-8868 NanniesWhoCare.com

COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONS PFLAG – Orlando

LakelandYouthAlliance.org

Wealth Advisors Who Care 727-230-3800 WealthAdvisorsWhoCare.com

HEALTH AND WELLNESS 26Health 321-800-2922 26Health.org

Planned Parenthood PlannedParenthood.org

Orlando Health OrlandoHealth.com

Seminole Youth Alliance

727-360-5531 BilmarBeachResort.com

407-244-1222 OrlandoYouthAlliance.org

Zebra Coalition 407-228-146 ZebraYouth.org

CRYO BANK Cryos International Sperm and Egg Bank 407-203-1175 CryosInternational.com

EDUCATION Walden Community School

PFLAG – Tampa

EVENTS

727-279-0449 PFLAGDunedin.org

407-717-9990 ThomasLawImHere.com

HOTEL AND LODGING

407-677-8225 WaldenCommunitySchool.com

PFLAG – Dunedin

FAMILY LAW

407-244-1222 OrlandoYouthAlliance.org

321-286-5350 PFLAGOrlando.org 863-535-5239 PFLAGTampa.org

Absolutely Optical

PFLAG – St Petersburg

813-273-4000 FLAquarium.com

GTE Financial

EYEWEAR

Orlando Youth Empowerment Summit OrlYes.org

Bilmar Beach Resort

LIBRARIES Orange County Library System

PHOTOGRAPHY SERVICES

Dylan Todd Photography 727-310-1212 DylanToddPhotography.com

REAL ESTATE Green House Realty Inc. – Scott Benson 407-474-0724 ScottyTheRealtor.com

Tabi Deas, Realtor

813-758-9971 CoolestRealtorInTampaBay.com

RELIGIOUS SERVICES King of Peace MCC 727-323-5857 ChurchStPetersburg.org

Saint Andrew United Church of Christ 941-922-7595 SarasotaUCC.org

St. Lukes United Methodist Church 407-876-4991 St.Lukes.org

St Stephen Lutheran Church 407-869-0491 StStephen.org

RETAIL

407-835-7323 OCLS.info

City Furniture

MUSEUM AND GALLERIES

Tyrone Frame and Mirror

Art and History Museums-Maitland

THEATER AND VENUES

407- 539-2181 ArtAndHistory.org

Orange County Regional History Center 407-836-8500 TheHistoryCenter.org

Orlando Museum of Art 407-896-4231 OMArt.org

CityFurniture.com

727-344-1000 TyroneFrame.com

Asolo Repertory Theatre 941-351-8000 AsoloRep.org

TRAVEL AND TOURISM City of Sanford SanfordFL.gov

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