Issue 20.16: Escaping Ex-Gay Therapy

DAYTONA BEACH • ORLANDO • TAMPA • ST. PETERSBURG • SARASOTA • ISSUE 20.16 • AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 • WATERMARKONLINE.COM

YOUR LGBT LIFE.

STEVE GRAND

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PRIESTS

POPE FRANCIS GAY

Copyright Benson 2013. All Rights Reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced.

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If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has 12 good will, who am I to judge?

PAGE

—POPE FRANCIS

ON THE COVER

PAGE Tampa resident Gabe Alves

among textbooks and 25 sits resources from several

“reparative therapy” programs he attended over the years in hopes to “cure” his attraction to other men.

Photo by Jake Stevens

Preview

PAGE

19 ALL AMERICAN BOY: Steve Grand made history with his YouTube music video “All American Boy,” and is now considered the first openly gay country singer. He shares the story behind the catchy song and what it means to gain worldwide recognition overnight.

WATERMARK ISSUE 20.16 // AUG. 1 - AUG. 14 , 2013

ORLANDO NEWS

TAMPA BAY NEWS

PAGE Community leaders host

PAGE Hillsborough County

IN DEPTH: EX GAY THERAPY GALLERY W

Read it online!

SCAN QR CODE FOR

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In addition to a Web site with daily LGBT updates, a digital version of each issue of the publication is made available on WatermarkOnline.com

forum to discuss the Kevin 08 aSupreme 10 Commissioner Court’s decision Beckner attended Harvard

to rule the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional; Lake County Schools will finally meet about its club policies on Aug. 12; more.

University’s Kennedy School to hone his leadership skills; Longtime activist Russ Crumley passed away unexpectedly July 27; more.

PAGE Those who experienced

25

reparative therapy through organizations like Exodus say their experiences were frustrating and humiliating. Former Exodus leader Alan Chambers talks about life post-Exodus; We look at the history of reparative therapy practices.

PAGE The Super Joy Riders made

appearance on July 28 46 anto battle litter, pessimism

and to spread good cheer in Orlando.

We caught some of the excitement as we followed the do-gooders around town.

VISIT WATERMARKONLINE.COM TO SEE OUR NEWEST WEB EXCLUSIVE: SCREENED OUT. OUR MOVIE REVIEWS ARE NOW ONLINE AND MORE TIMELY. AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

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HE ROYAL BABY IS HERE...HURRAY! Long Live the Future “King George VII” But I saw something I didn’t like when Kate and William exited the hospital.

A regular couple, (as regular as you can be with hordes of paparazzi with cameras trained on them) came out with their new baby. Prince William brought the new baby out in a $140 Babies R Us car seat, handled it with obvious rehearsed ease, loaded baby and his Duchesswife in the land rover and drove himself and his new clan off to the palace. What is wrong with this picture?

I’ll tell you—it just ain’t royal, that’s what! They looked more like a modern day version of the Clampetts than they did the future King and Queen of England with their heir apparent.

When I tune into my favorite TV network news here in the USA to watch the Royals of Great Britain, I expect to see royalty! Not a group of “special folk” trying to act like the rest of us.

For God’s sake, where were the Rolls Royces?

The gilded horse drawn carriages? Where were the chauffeurs, butlers, coachmen and footmen to drive the royal couple the seven blocks to the palace?

And where are the processions of starched and

“They looked more like a modern day version of the Clampetts than they did the future King and Queen of England.”

—SKIP STEWART

pressed nannies dressed like Harvey Girls, in a parade following new-Mom Kate out to the mile-long entourage for the drive home? And Pippa?

Couldn’t she have at the very least dressed up as a lady in waiting for the event? Is that too much to expect?

I sure missed the overdressed, tricorn-hatted town crier with this big hand-bell ringing and bellowing about the birth thru the streets of London! Speaking of bells, why weren’t all the church bells in Britain ringing nonstop to celebrate the birth of their future monarch? I know peasants with torches dancing on the moors is a bit much to ask in this day and time, (what with the heavy British union laws and all) but where was the celebration?

Damn, the Queen could have at least showed up at Kensington Palace to see the new baby in a crown bearing a gift of a baby rattle made like a scepter!

Come-on Great Britain, get with it and get your “Royal” on! You guys do pomp and grandeur better than anyone.

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AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

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We commoners in the USA live for it!

SKIP STEWART ORLANDO

SAYING NOTHING SAYS VOLUMES Kathleen Ford has pandered to the gay community of St. Petersburg for years, expressing her support and asking for our money. But why couldn’t she squeeze in time to address speci�ic LGBT concerns at a debate at the Metro Wellness and Community Center? Even [St. Pete Mayor Bill] Foster, who constantly reminds us that he won’t support Pride by attending, spoke at the debate and promoted a message of nondiscrimination.

Too many LGBT people have supported Ford for too long. Her actions, or in this case, non-actions, speak louder than her words. I hope people remember this when the primary rolls around in August.

CHARLES SLOPER ST. PETERSBURG

editor’s

Steve Blanchard EDITOR

SteveB@WatermarkOnline.com

W

Desk

ORKING ON THE COVER STORY

for this issue of Watermark, I was reminded of my own journey toward the acceptance of my sexuality. Like so many, I was told that gay people “choose” who they are because of a blatant disrespect for God.

Even though in my heart I knew that was a ridiculous claim, the message was preached so often that eventually, I believed it. In middle school, when I �irst noticed other young men—and those hunky men on television—I kept telling myself to quit “choosing” to fantasize about these icons of masculinity. For a short period in college, I ignored my feelings and focused my energy on a Christian campus group. I hoped that activity would help distract me from the men on campus long enough to �ind that “nice girl”

WATERMARK STAFF

who would steal my attention and my heart.

Of course, that never happened and I found myself crushing on an older, male member of that same Christian group.

The young man on our cover, Gabe Alves, fought the same battle I did, but to an extreme.

And former Exodus International leader Alan Chambers, who reporter Susan Clary interviewed within these pages, still �ights that battle.

I truly believe that Chambers chooses the way he lives—with a

Publisher: Tom Dyer • Ext. 305 • Tom@WatermarkOnline.com Chief Financial Officer: Rick Claggett • Ext. 108 • Rick@WatermarkOnline.com Admin. Assistant: Stephanie Saylor • Ext. 100 • Stephanie@WatermarkOnline.com Editor-in-Chief: Steve Blanchard • 813-470-0899 • SteveB@WatermarkOnline.com Reporter: Susan Clary • 104 • Susan@WatermarkOnline.com Online Media Director: Jamie Hyman • Ext. 106 • Jamie@WatermarkOnline.com Proofreading: Ed Blaisdell Art Director: Jake Stevens • Ext. 109 • Jake@WatermarkOnline.com Production Assistant: Andrés Duputel • Ext. 107 • AdProduction@WatermarkOnline.com

wife and two children.

Call it what you want—choice, free will—but there is a choice involved in living as a gay person.

But that choice has nothing to do with our sexuality.

I remember exactly where I was when I decided to follow through on my feelings. Mind you, I didn’t say I remember when I chose to be gay, but I know exactly when I chose to act on the attraction I had for other men.

I was in college, but spending the weekend with my parents, who were visiting the campus. As they were sleeping in their hotel bed, just a few feet from mine, I struggled to fall asleep. For weeks I had battled the attraction I had for other young men on campus and not acting on those feelings distracted me from sleep, from class—from everything, really.

As I tried to get comfortable that night, I held an internal argument with myself—a ‘should I or shouldn’t I’ scenario that �inally resulted in me choosing to let my natural attraction guide me to the experiences I craved.

The gut-wrenching internal dialogue resulted in some muchneeded sound sleep. Once my parents left the campus on that following Sunday afternoon, I gave myself a pep talk and found avenues for meeting men for more-than-platonic relationships.

(Remember the chat program MIRC?) Within a month I met,

face to face, with an attractive man only a few years older than I was.

I don’t know if it was chemistry or pent up frustration, but even the minor contact we had that �irst night felt right—freeing, even—and I knew I made the right choice to act on my impulses. Eventually, he and I dated, and soon called each other boyfriends. It was my �irst same-sex relationship and while I was happy I �inally followed through on my attractions, I never told my family or my old high school friends about that relationship until years later— long after we split.

It’s easy to condemn or mock those who continue to battle their own sexuality. Watching or reading about their struggles is frustrating to many of us. But just because we have found peace doesn’t mean others will— or even can.

Our interview with Chambers intrigued me. He tells us he has an attraction to other men but he refuses to act on his natural impulse. In fact, he compares his attractions to those that his wife has toward other men. Just because she sees a handsome man, he explains, doesn’t mean she’s going to have sex with him. He uses the same logic in describing his own sexuality.

Human sexuality is a journey for all of us. Some of us just take different—and sometimes longer—paths to feeling comfortable with it.

— In this issue, you’ll notice Screened Out, our movie reviews are missing. That column is now an exclusive feature at WatermarkOnline.com which will have more timely reviews. |  |

Call it what you want—choice, free will—but there is a choice involved in living as a gay person.

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CONTRIBUTORS DAVID MORAN

is the LGBTQ Services Graduate Coordinator at the University of Central Florida, where he studied Emerging Media. Page 8

MARY MEEKS

is an Orlandobased attorney who is also an LGBT activist.

She is a long-time contributor to Watermark. Page 15

GREGG SHAPIRO

is a Chicago-based freelance journalist and entertainment reporter whose work appears frequently in Watermark. PAGE 19

Greg Burton, Scottie Campbell, Zach Caruso, Amy Dees, Kirk Hartlage, Joseph Kissel, Ken Kundis, Mary Meeks, Stephen Miller, David Moran, Gregg Shipiro, Greg Stemm, Brett Stout, Jim Walker

PHOTOGRAPHY Nick Cardello, Angie Folks, Tom Eckert, Julie Milford, Travis Moore, Chris Stephenson, Lee Vandergrift, Tinkerfluff

DISTRIBUTION Debbie Oliver, Phil Garris, Ken Caraway

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orlando NEWS

Lake County school board set to discuss clubs Aug. 12 Staff report

T

AVERES | After several delays, the Lake County

School Board is scheduled to discuss school clubs—and as a result, the fate of a muchdebated Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) at Carver Middle School—Aug. 12.

In mid-May, the board voted to allow elementary schools to have school-sponsored clubs with parental consent, but student-created clubs would not be permitted. For high schools, the board voted students could create clubs with the superintendant’s approval.

But the board argued about what to do for middle schools, �inally voting to limit clubs to organizations that can “strengthen and promote critical thinking, business skills, athletic skills and performing arts.”

It is unclear whether the GSA club charter would meet those application requirements.

The board needed to advertise its preliminary decision for 28 days before a �inal reading date was set. The follow-up meeting was scheduled for June 24, then moved to July 8 and now set for the new August date. |  |

MBA receives national recognition Staff report

ORLANDO | The Metropolitan Business Association of

Orlando was awarded the Excellence in Communications award by the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC).

“NGLCC local af�iliate chambers like MBA Orlando are leveraging every possible tool and tactic to support their member businesses and nurture their growth. They’re at the center of a strong, vibrant, and fully inclusive economy,” said Sam McClure, NGLCC Director of Af�iliate Relations and External Affairs, in a media release.

MBA Orlando was recognized for reaching members through a multimedia effort, including a new website and weekly e-newsletter, utilizing a member management system along with a traditional printed directory and social media.

“We are incredibly proud that our hard work has led to this award,” said Mikael Frank Audebert, MBA Orlando President. “We needed to reassess how the chamber was communicating with its members, so we took an allencompassing approach to increase chamber, member, and community exposure.”

MBA Orlando Membership Director Eric Rollings will travel to the NGLCC 2013 Business & Leadership Conference in Dallas, Texas in August to accept the award. |  |

8

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FINALLY WED: Peter Rocchio (left), 78, and William Baxter, 73, were engaged for 45 years before finally marrying the night before an “After DOMA” discussion at The Abbey July 17. PHOTO BY DAVID MORAN

After DOMA Now what? Panel requests call to action David Thomas Moran DAVID@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

O

RLANDO | As LGBT

Americans across the country continue to celebrate the June 26 Supreme Court ruling striking down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the immediate future of marriage equality in Florida looks bleak. Even so, a call to action is growing state-wide to bring about change.

According to panelists at the “After DOMA: Now What” forum held at The Abbey in Downtown Orlando on July 17, Florida marriage equality still has some signi�icant hurdles to overcome even with success of defeating DOMA and Proposition 8.

The panel �ielded a variety of questions about immigration visas, taxes, veteran bene�its, estate planning and the legality of marriage licenses from other states.

“I hate to be the downer in the group [but in Florida] your [out-of-state] marriage certi�icate doesn’t mean a whole lot,” said Orlando civil rights attorney Mary Meeks, responding to a couple who were just married in Washington, D.C. Meeks said the DOMA decision brought about three positive

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

changes for Florida LGBT couples: 1) immigration rights, 2) samesex partner bene�its for civilian and military employees of the Department of Defense, and 3) same-sex partner bene�its for federal employees.

A recurrent answer to the questions asked by audience members was, “we don’t know yet” or, “it depends.” But many of the forum’s panelists still remained optimistic about Florida’s future.

Marriage provides 1,148 different legal rights to a couple which are administered by varying federal agencies.

According to Meeks, it is going to take some time for such agencies to evaluate and fully implement the DOMA decision.

Some marriage rights are speci�ically contingent on the couple’s place of domicile or residency, including some veteran bene�its and the right to divorce.

Bi-national Florida LGBT couples are already experiencing direct bene�its from the DOMA ruling. One of the �irst same-sex couples granted an immigration visa resides in South Florida.

Orlando immigration attorney Henry Lim said the federal government is moving quickly in regards to immigration rights. “[The DOMA ruling] also

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applies to not only immigrant visas but everything else related to [immigration] spousal rights, even �iancé petitions,” said Lim. The panel seemed to collectively agree that it will be a matter of years before marriage equality becomes a reality in Florida.

Meeks said the most likely path to marriage equality in the state will be through the courts.

Florida’s state legislature has refused to even consider a bill for a state-wide domestic partnership registry let alone marriage rights.

Some are calling for a statewide referendum to go on the ballot in 2014 or 2016 to change Florida’s marriage laws.

However, such a referendum would require 60% of voters to approve the measure. Statistician Nate Silver, according to Meeks, estimates that 60% of Florida voters would not approve such a change in law until 2020.

Though there is much uncertainty and little change in Florida marriage laws for LGBT couples, panelists encouraged Florida residents to stay and �ight.

Equality Florida is spearheading “A Path to Marriage Equality in Florida,” an action plan in collaboration with local and national LGBT organizations.

Meeks said that Equality Florida is also currently laying the foundation for an eventual court case in Florida. |  |

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tampa bay NEWS 10

St. Pete, Orlando lose community activist Tom Dyer DYER@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

S

T. PETERSBURG | During more than 20 years in Orlando, Russ Crumley made indelible contributions to the LGBT community. When he moved to St. Petersburg in 2002, that city became the bene�iciary UNEXPECTED of his boundless energy, LOSS: Russ Crumley creativity and passion for was co-founder of good times and good works. the Central Florida Crumley died Softball League, unexpectedly of cardiac and active in the Old Southeast neighborhood arrest on July 24 at his of St. Petersburg. home in the Old Southeast neighborhood. He is survived by his husband, George Spence.

Crumley was a marketing/training/development specialist, author, activist and community organizer.

His passions were the arts, the environment, neighborhoods and people.

He attended Stetson University, where he was president of Alpha Tau Omega fraternity. After moving to Orlando, he quickly became a recognizable �igure in the city’s burgeoning LGBT community.

He threw an annual Easter Bonnet Party that attracted hundreds to his Thornton Park home, culminating in a promenade down Washington St. and through Dexter’s. In 1997, he enlisted a handful of friends and founded the Central Florida Softball League, which now boasts more than 30 teams.

In 1998 and 1999 Crumley produced Beachfest, a relaxed two-day circuit-type event that attracted thousands to Daytona Beach. Also in 1998, he provided key support when Watermark obtained permission to hang rainbow �lags throughout downtown Orlando, making national news.

“Russ was a social mad man,” said his friend, Chris Bertoch. “He was adept at weaving communities together and fostering friendships while always wringing fun out of anything and everything.”

Crumley followed a job to Tampa Bay in 2002.

That’s when Crumley also met and fell in love with Spence. He became a devoted step-dad to Spence’s four children, and in his last decade often told friends he had the family he’d always wanted.

While grieving his husband’s death, Spence experienced frustrations familiar to survivors in same-sex couples throughout Florida, including lack of legal authority to make funeral arrangements.

“In memory of Russ, please show your support for marriage equality in Florida by volunteering time, donating money or simply contacting your lawmakers,” Spence wrote on Facebook. “As Russ would push all of us to do, take one more step beyond your comfort level.” |  |

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HIGH ACHIEVERS: (L-R) Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis and Hillsborough County Commissioner Kevin Beckner both attended the Harvard Kennedy School in July. PHOTO COURTESY KEVIN BECKNER

Harvard grad

Kevin Beckner hones leadership skills at Harvard University government program Susan Clary

SUSAN@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

T

AMPA | Hillsborough County Commissioner Kevin Beckner can negotiate a successful bipartisan decision.

A passionate speech to fellow commissioners in June led to the unanimous repeal of a draconian ordinance that barred the county from recognizing gay pride events.

Still, Beckner says, no matter how long you serve in public of�ice there is always more to learn. To that end, Beckner applied and was accepted to the 2013 Harvard Kennedy School at Harvard University in Boston.

The prestigious Senior Executives in State and Local Government Program, held each summer, teaches seasoned public of�icials to become better leaders, including �inding dif�icult consensus in government bodies.

“I am a lifelong learner and

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

�irmly believe in continuing education,” Beckner said. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the academic excellence of Harvard alongside other talented leaders from across the world.”

Tuition to the program, held July 8-26 this year, is $12,000.

Beckner was one of six people selected as a David Bohnett Leadership Fellow by the Gay and Lesbian Victory Institute, which covered $7,500 of his tuition.

Beckner paid the remainder of the travel, tuition and personal expense fees out-of-pocket.

“The knowledge I gained will ultimately bene�it the citizens of Hillsborough County that I was elected to serve,” Beckner said. “It was a worthwhile lifelong learning experience.”

Leaders from the U.S., New Zealand, Ireland and Australia participated. They included state and local elected leaders, city and county managers and

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administrators and chiefs of police and sheriffs. Eighty people were chosen from 600 applications.

Orange County Sheriff Jerry Demings was also part of the class.

The curriculum covers issues commonly confronted by government of�icials, and includes structured conversations that enable participants to develop tools for navigating constituencies, partisan environments and multiparty negotiations.

Beckner discovered there were 13 other LGBT representatives in attendance. The group’s camaraderie led to valuable discussions on human dignity and respect for constituents, he said.

“We talked about how LGBT of�icials can work to create inclusive policies to ensure everyone is recognized and protected,” Beckner said.

“I returned believing it’s only a matter of time before Hillsborough County has a human rights ordinance that re�lects our diversity.”

Kevin Beckner won his seat on the Hillsborough County Commission in 2008 and was easily re-elected in 2012.

He is the county’s �irst gay commissioner. |  |

Staff Report

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f page x5.125 4c

A petition drive to put marriage equality on the 2014 Florida ballot is already underway and is spearheaded by political strategist Vanessa Brito of Miami.

“In three weeks, we collected nearly 40,000 signatures,” Brito told the Herald, adding that if polling in January shows the measure can’t pass in November 2014, she would hold her petitions two more years.

The ACLU and other groups believe Florida will get full marriage equality only when the rest of the United States gets it.

“The ACLU is working now to secure the equal right to marry nationwide by following up our U.S. Supreme Court victory in the Windsor case with lawsuits in Pennsylvania, Virginia and North Carolina,” Simon said. “Given the political environment in Florida, we are more likely to secure the right to marry for Florida’s same-sex couples from victories in other states than by initiating either a lawsuit or a referendum in Florida.” |  |

Gay rights groups sign letter of support for Trayvon Martin Staff Report

T

hirty-�ive LGBT groups have signed a letter of support asking the federal government to get involved in the case of Trayvon Martin, a Florida teen killed by George Zimmerman in 2012.

Zimmerman was found ‘not guilty’ of murder in July.

Since that verdict, civil rights groups have protested Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law, which the defense used in its argument.

The National Black Justice Coalition, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the American Civil Liberties Union, GLSEN, GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign are among those who have signed the letter.

“Trayvon Martin deserves justice,” the letter reads. “We support the organizations and community leaders who are urging the federal government to explore every option to ensure that justice is served for Trayvon and that his civil rights are honored and respected.”

The letter connects Martin’s death with anti-gay violence victims such as Brandon Teena, a transgender male killed and raped in 1993, Matthew Shepard, a gay man beaten and tied to a fence in 1998, and Sakia Gunn, a 15-year-old lesbian stabbed to death in 2003. |  |

state

A

ccording to the ACLU of Florida, marriage equality will essentially have to be forced on the residents of Florida when same-sex marriage becomes legal across the country. Equality leaders aren’t optimistic that voters will suddenly rush to the ballot box and approve a measure legalizing same-sex unions in the Sunshine State.

“I don’t want to build up any false expectations that it would be good to run back to the ballot right now, or that it would be good to think that we should �ile a lawsuit any time until the hearts and minds change more and the environment changes a bit more,” ACLU of Florida executive director Howard Simon told the Miami Herald In all, 37 states have laws banning marriage equality, which has created legal chaos for same-sex couples who live in those states but are legally married in others. On June 26, more chaos was created

when the U.S. Supreme Court overturned part of the Defense of Marriage Act, ruling that the federal government must recognize legal marriages of same-sex couples married in the 13 states that allow it and the District of Columbia. The ruling also mentions legal marriages from international locations.

It’s unlikely Florida’s 2008 Amendment 2, which de�ined marriage as between a man and woman, could be overturned at this time, said Nadine Smith, Equality Florida’s executive director. At least 60% of voters must approve the addition or repeal of an amendment to the State Constitution. Recent polls show a shift in support for marriage equality, but those numbers only reach 54% in favor.

“There are two places that we’re really investing,” Smith said.

“When you look at the places where marriage equality has come, through the legislature or through the ballot, it’s preceded by a deep investment of a public education campaign that humanizes these issues.”

NEWS

Marriage equality may have to be ‘imposed’ on Floridians

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IN OTHER NEWS CALIF. COURT REJECTS BID TO STOP GAY MARRIAGES The California Supreme Court on July 23 rejected a request

by San Diego County Clerk Ernest Dronenburg, Jr., for an order halting gay marriages, which resumed in the state last month. Dronenburg sought the stay on July 19, when he also asked the court to consider his legal argument that same-sex marriages remain illegal in most of California despite a U.S. Supreme Court decision widely regarded as authorizing them.

2 MEN FOUND GUILTY UNDER CAMEROON’S ANTI-GAY LAW A court in Yaounde, Cameroon, on July 23 found two men guilty under the country’s harsh law banning homosexuality.

Judges sentenced 48-year-old Joseph Omgbwa to two years in prison and 19-year-old Nicolas Ntamack to one year. The convictions came less than two weeks after a prominent Cameroonian gay rights activist, Eric Ohena Lembembe, was tortured and killed in an attack related to his activism.

NEWS

COURT ORDERS OHIO TO RECOGNIZE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE Two gay Cincinnati men, John Arthur and Jim Obergefell, successfully sued to get their out-of-state marriage recognized in Ohio despite a state ban on same-sex marriage. Arthur won the right to be listed as married on his death certificate and to have his husband listed as his surviving spouse. The federal judge’s order came July 22 after Arthur sued state and local officials to ensure that he and Obergefell can be buried next to each other in a cemetery that only allows descendants and spouses.

Pope Francis says he won’t judge gay priests Wire Report

V

ATICAN CITY | Pope Francis reached out to gays, saying he won’t judge priests for their sexual orientation in a remarkably open and wideranging news conference July 29 as he returned from his �irst foreign trip. ``If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?’’

Francis asked. ``We shouldn’t marginalize people for this. They must be integrated into society.’’

Francis’ predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, signed a document in 2005 that said men who had deep-rooted homosexual tendencies should not be priests. Francis was much more conciliatory in his �irst news conference as pope, saying gay clergymen should be forgiven and their sins forgotten.

The comments did not signal any change in church policy.

Pope Francis

Catholic teaching still holds that homosexual acts are “intrinsically disordered.’’ But they indicated a shift in tone under Francis’ young papacy and an emphasis on a church that is more inclusive and merciful rather than critical and disciplinary.

Francis also said he wanted

a greater role for women in the church, though he insisted that they cannot become priests.

Reporters onboard the papal aircraft also asked Francis about reports suggesting that a group of gay clergymen exert undue in�luence on Vatican policy. Italian news media reported this year that the allegations of what they call the ``gay lobby’’ contributed to Benedict’s decision to resign.

Stressing that Catholic social teaching calls for homosexuals to be treated with dignity and not marginalized, Francis said he would not condone anyone using private information for blackmail or to exert pressure. ``A lot is written about this `gay lobby. I still haven’t found anyone at the Vatican who has `gay’ on his business card,’’ Francis said, chuckling .”You have to distinguish between the fact that someone is gay and the fact of being in a `lobby.’’’ |  |

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livingloud

Why Trayvon Should Matter To Us

Mary Meeks MEEKS@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

Y

OU MAY BE SICK AND TIRED

of the cacophony of raised voices arguing over the acquittal of George Zimmerman.

Whatever your reaction was to the jury verdict, the indisputable prevalence of institutional racism, in society at large and in our legal system, goes well beyond this one case.

To my fellow members in the LGBT community, I ask you to stay tuned, and to get engaged, because make no mistake, Trayvon Martin could have been you.

I watched virtually every minute of the trial. As a civil rights attorney and activist, I felt a growing sense of horror and dread; as a gay person, in particular, my heart ached for the family of the young boy whose life was taken, and whose intentional killing was excused—by institutional racism.

Virtually everyone involved in the legal process, and many in the community, evaluated the case based on the alleged perceptions of the killer, and determined that it was reasonable, based on their experience, for the hefty Caucasian adult packing heat to criminally pro�ile, and then fear, the skinny black child walking home with candy and iced tea. It either never occurred to them to look at things from

Trayvon’s perspective, or they were incapable of even comprehending an alternative perspective from the point of view of a young black boy.

I could not help but think about Ryan Skipper, the young gay man who was pro�iled and murdered in 2007 in Polk County because he was gay, and who was then pro�iled and defamed by law enforcement, the media, and the greater community, because he was gay. Ryan was a victim of institutional homophobia.

Initially, Ryan—a sweet, bubbly, productive member of our community—was wrongly portrayed as some kind of reprobate engaged in criminal activity with his killers.

My wife and I made a documentary about the case with the help of Ryan’s wonderful family and friends. We were able to help get the truth out, to change the narrative— to erase the pro�ile—and ultimately Ryan’s killers were convicted.

But during those excruciating days that we sat at the Polk County courthouse with Ryan’s parents, awaiting the verdicts, I feared the worst, and imagined how painful it would be if Ryan’s killers were acquitted, not only for Ryan’s family and friends, but for the LGBT community. Fortunately, we did not have to experience that pain. But, how would the gay community have reacted to such a verdict?

I ask that question, because I noted with some surprise, and disappointment, that members of the LGBT community did not seem to react strongly to Trayvon’s murder or to the acquittal of his killer, under circumstances that I feel sure would have engendered widespread outrage had it involved a gay child.

The notorious “gay panic defense” has been trotted out by numerous murderers to excuse their vicious acts by claiming they were afraid of the oversexed gay (or transsexual) man—from Matthew Shepard to Brandon Teena to 14-year-old Larry King. We cannot ignore the common root, and resulting injustice, of these “panic” defenses, whether the fear claimed is of a gay “sexual deviant,” or of a black “thug” in a hoodie.

Matthew Shepard and Trayvon Martin were each pro�iled, targeted, stalked, confronted, allegedly feared, and ultimately killed, because of who they were.

When our young gay and black men are pro�iled and victimized just for trying to walk home from a trip to the store, and justice is denied, we are all victims. Any one of us, or someone we love, could be next. All of us should be united in �ighting to erase the institutional in�luences

that take too many of our children. It worries me that we are not.

After the Zimmerman verdict, my wife and I attended a vigil for Trayvon at the Orlando federal courthouse. Before the vigil began, a black woman approached us, and thanked us, two of the few white faces in the crowd, for coming to

their pain. I thought about amazing advocates for our community who are black, like Nadine Smith, the longtime Executive Director of Equality Florida. I spoke to Nadine the day after the verdict, and she was so heartbroken that she literally could not speak—I hung up the phone, feeling sick inside.

I thought about black allies to our community—people like Val Demings, Daisy Lynum, Sam Ings, Geraldine Thompson, Tiffany Moore Russell— who have stood with us in our �ight for justice and equality.

I thought about all of them, and I asked myself, will I honor their friendship and support for our community, and join them in the �ight for their community? Aren’t we the same community? Don’t they deserve equal justice? Don’t I owe it to them to �ight for it?

My answer is yes. What’s yours? |  |

We cannot ignore the common root, and resulting injustice, of these ‘panic’ defenses, whether the fear claimed is of a gay ‘sexual deviant,’ or of a black ‘thug’ in a hoodie. express our solidarity in seeking justice for her community. It made us uncomfortable—we should not have stood out in that crowd as exceptional because of our skin color. I was ashamed that we did.

I was especially ashamed as a gay person—our community knows this pain, we know this injustice, why weren’t we there for this child?

Afterwards, I thought about my black friends, both gay and straight, who are hurting so terribly from this injustice, and felt helpless to ease

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We’ve got more weiner than we can handle.

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TALKING POINTS

I’m so sick of gay this, gay that.

I could care less. It ain’t affecting my life at all.

—LARRY THE CABLE GUY ON LARRY KING NOW ON HULU.

83

GAY PORN CAREER A

% NO-NO

of Brits would be “very comfortable, comfortable or neutral” if the new Prince George were to identify as gay or bisexual.

—According to a survey conducted by the LGBT charity Stonewall.

FOR BALLET SCHOOL

T

HE ARTS COMMUNITY HAS ALWAYS SEEMED PROGRESSIVE AND CREATIVE. So, who knew that ballet follows different rules—conservative, highbrow rules. Just ask Jeppe Hansen. The 22-year old ballet dancer has been performing since he was 2. He is so good that the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School gave him a full scholarship last fall. Hansen, who wanted to express himself beyond the traditional tights and toe shoes, has decided to start a second career in gay porn under the name Jett Black.

When fellow classmates saw photos of him on Tumblr, they tattled to the Artistic Director, who kicked him out of school. Hansen, who grew up in ballet, said he understands. Until he can �ind a more understanding company, he will pursue adult entertainment full time. |  |

PEOPLE ARE TALKING AT WATERMARKONLINE.COM ON ENDER’S GAME STARS BEING QUESTIONED ABOUT MARRIAGE EQUALITY AT COMIC-CON: “Several of the longstanding Ender’s Game fans over at the fansite Philotic Web (myself included) are running a fundraising drive for fans of Orson Scott Card’s works to contribute to, as a form of political offset to counteract any anti-equal-rights lobbying that may be funded by our purchase of tickets to see Ender’s Game in theatres this fall. It’s an all-inclusive campaign designed to unite supporters of LGBT-rights from across the political spectrum to show their opposition to unequal treatment under the law.

—BOOTHYBY 171

ON HOW SOME LGBT ACTIVISTS REGRET THE FOCUS ON MARRIAGE EQUALITY: “How about we don’t stop fighting and start bickering until AFTER all 50 states are equal on this issue.”

ON STEVE BLANCHARD’S EDITOR’S DESK ABOUT FORGIVING TIM HARDAWAY: “Orson Scott Card could learn a lot from Tim Hardaway.”

—AGUYWITHOPINIONS

—MICHAEL VACIRCA

’ON THE RULING AGAINST ON ABBY DEES’ VIEWPOINT SAN DIEGO’S CLERK’S REQUEST TO STOP COLUMN REGARDING GAY MARRIAGE: HER HISTORY WITH LGBT VISIBILITY AND ACTIVISM: ‘ “What part of ‘phuck off and

“Excellent piece. In 85 I was only 2 years old so I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to experience all of that. I have always had an interest in gay history, especially concerning that time period.”

—CHARLES PIPPINS

die, natsy bigots’ are they not understanding?”

—NORMAN DOSTAL

BIRACIAL LESBIAN

MAKES PAGEANT HISTORY

A

NALOUISA VALENCIA, THE FIRST OPENLY LESBIAN CONTESTANT IN THE 2013 MISS SOUTH CAROLINA PAGEANT, tore down barriers in the Miss America organization, even though she didn’t make it to the �inals. Valencia, 20, is biracial and bilingual—her mother is Hispanic and her father is African-American. She lives in Spartanburg and won the title of Miss Lyman.

She told The Associated Press that she became interested in pageants in 2000, when she joined a mentoring program for young girls called Palmetto Princesses and met Miss Spartanburg. The tiara got her hooked. She has been competing ever since.

Incidentally, she came out to her family when she was in the ninth grade. |  |

MARRIAGE EQUALITY

CAUSES STRAIGHT POVERTY?

S

TRAIGHT MARRIED WOMEN HAD BETTER WATCH OUT or they could soon be among the thousands of single mothers struggling in poverty. That’s the newest message from The Heritage Foundation on the evils of legalizing same-sex marriage.

“Rede�ining marriage diminishes the social pressures for husbands to remain with their wives and children, and for men and women to marry before having children,” said Ryan T. Anderson, with the Foundation’s DeVos Center for Religion and a Civil Society. |  |

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VISIT BRITAIN… AND GET GAY-MARRIED

W

ITH THE LEGALIZATION OF GAY MARRIAGE IN BRITAIN, we anticipate some fabulous weddings are in the works. ‘Visit Britain,’ the national tourism agency, has issued a list of gay-friendly wedding venues and locations, including castles in Wales, the Brighton Pier in England and the restaurant atop the iconic 30 St. Mary Axe in London.

Though same-sex weddings in Britain won’t take place until next summer, competition for the destination gay wedding and honeymoon market is heating up. Canada has had same-sex marriage since 2005. Marriage equality became legal in France in May and weddings will begin in New Zealand starting August 19. |  |

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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ENTERTAINMENT

E HIT B U T U O Y S ’ AND R G E V E IC T S S U R M E G Y N R I T S N AND COU R N I E T S I E R L W P G U O N SO SEX C E M A S S T PU

I

Gregg Shapiro GREGSHAPIRO@AOL.COM

N THESE DAYS OF INSTANT INTERNET

celebrity, overnight sensations are a dime a dozen.

But Chicago-based gay singer/songwriter Steve Grand seems to be an exception with his song “AllAmerican Boy” and its accompanying video.

Sure, he’s breathtaking to look at and that doesn’t hurt. He’s even put in time as a model. More than just a pretty face and amazing body, Grand is a musician with a message. Striking a chord across boundaries, Grand’s song and video of unrequited love, set to an unlikely country music beat, has found a devoted audience and earned nearly two million views on YouTube.

On the (boot)heels of this viral video, Grand has received attention and coverage from a variety of sources, including The Huf�ington Post, Good Morning, America CNN and The Los Angeles Times, not to mention numerous LGBT websites and publications.

A proudly gay voice for his generation and others, Grand is still getting used to being in the spotlight. We spoke with him about the experience, his music and his future in mid-July 2013.

WATERMARK: STEVE, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A YOUTUBE SENSATION?

STEVE GRAND: More than anything, I’m just grateful my song has reached so many people so quickly. And reached people that it has meaning for. People that feel the same way I felt and that it resonates with people emotionally.

That’s all I hoped for. That’s all you can

Continued on page 30 |  |

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19

particular vision in mind. I think all that was in�luenced by everything I’ve been through, growing up and having this happen to me over and over again.

|  | Steve Grand from pg.27 hope for as a songwriter, as one who makes music and performs.

IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR BACKGROUND OR TRAINING AS AN ARTIST AND PERFORMER THAT PREPARED YOU FOR THIS MOMENT?

I started taking piano when I was six years old. When I was four I started making models of pianos out of cardboard. I was so fascinated even with just the aesthetic of a piano. I was obsessed with Schroeder, [from Peanuts], and his piano. I would go through different phases as a kid, as we all do and I would get obsessed and driven to be creative.

My parents picked up on it and they got us this old, shitty upright piano and we all started taking lessons. I was the one that was really into it, especially the piano.

I took music classes in high school.

BECAUSE “ALL-AMERICAN BOY” HAS A TOUCH OF TWANG, THE SONG IS BEING PIGEONHOLED AS COUNTRY AND EVEN LED TO YOU RECEIVING A FAVORABLE MENTION ON A NASHVILLE WEBSITE. BUT BEING AN OPENLY GAY MUSICIAN IN MUSIC CITY CAN STILL BE RISKY AS WE SAW WHEN CHELY WRIGHT CAME OUT AS A LESBIAN. DO YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT?

I never set out to write a country song. I would never dismiss (that) if it sounds like country to some people. That’s �ine. At the heart of it country music is good storytelling and “All-American Boy” is a story. So I think that’s where that comes from. I think also the imagery in the video leads people to give it that title.

Even if I am labeled as a country singer, which isn’t a label I gave myself, I certainly wouldn’t want to take away anything from the brave men and women who came before me.

“ALL-AMERICAN BOY” COULD JUST AS EASILY BEEN ARRANGED AS A POWER POP TUNE, AN ACOUSTIC FOLK NUMBER OR AN ELECTRONIC DANCE TRACK.

COUNTRY OR NOT?: “All American Boy” has been referred to as a country song, but Steve Grand says he never intended it to be a country hit, but he’ll gladly take the recognition. PHOTO COURTESY JOEM C. BAYAWA

It is the story of my life since I was 13;

I was always crushing on the straight guy.

—STEVE GRAND ON “ALL AMERICAN BOY”

that that would sound like. I’m a songwriter.

What I think a good song is, is a song that can be totally stripped down with just vocals and piano or vocals and guitar, and it still sounds beautiful. I think that’s one of the ways you know you have a good song. That’s something I always try to do in my writing. I think the songwriting should transcend any sort of trendy sound.

So I would be up to hearing how (a remix) sounds [laughs].

I’m a little nervous, but I’m not above that or anything. Of course it would be really cool to hear it.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN AND RECORDED ANY OTHER SONGS?

Right!

WITH THAT IN MIND, ARE THERE PLANS FOR THE SONG TO BE REMIXED FOR CLUB PLAY?

I’m going to let people do what they want with it. I’m not skilled enough to make that happen by myself. I would be open to hearing

20

WHAT KIND OF ADVICE WOULD YOU OFFER IN THAT SITUATION?

Yes. I’ve been writing since age 11, so I have lots of music that I’ve written. I’ve been recording for a long time, too.

ARE YOU BEING INUNDATED WITH OFFERS FROM RECORD LABELS

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

AND IF SO, ARE YOU TAKING THEM UNDER CONSIDERATION OR WOULD YOU PREFER TO REMAIN AN INDEPENDENT ARTIST?

I de�initely don’t want to close the door to any opportunities or offers at this point. So I’m keeping an open mind. I believe that we’re in a day and age where we can do it independently. You have to consider who you are as an artist, what you want to be and what kind of impact you want to have.

Ultimately, that all plays into the decision I’ll have to make. I don’t want to be rushed along into making a decision about something I worked towards my whole life. That’s absurd. I will be the one to decide when I make those moves. I’ve concentrated on the people for whom the song has resonated already, that it’s struck a chord with. I want to honor them and continue to give them my best work, work that’s from my heart and soul.

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YOU MENTIONED THE IMPACT THAT THE SONG HAS HAD. FOR A LOT OF LGBT FOLKS, “ALL-AMERICAN BOY” IS INSTANTLY RELATABLE BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING ATTRACTED TO OR FALLING LOVE WITH SOMEONE STRAIGHT OR UNATTAINABLE. HOW PERSONAL IS THAT EXPERIENCE FOR YOU?

Wow! What a good question. We’ve all been there, and I mean gay, straight, bi, whoever you are. We’ve all fallen for someone that we can’t have, but it especially rings true in the speci�ic story for LGBT people.

It is the story of my life since I was 13. I was always crushing on the straight guy.

I think it’s always been there because I grew up in a place where gay people weren’t visible.

I was always crushing on my best friends. I think that’s the case, probably, for a lot of us. The song isn’t about anyone speci�ic. It’s the accumulation of experiences.

I de�initely knew the story, as far as the video goes, all the imagery and things like that. I had a very

watermarkonline.com

[Laughs] Hold on and don’t make yourself fucking crazy. It’s tough, but it’s going to happen. It’s a part of life. Unless you’re in a world that’s exclusively gay, which I think few of us are, it’s going to happen.

I think there’s a great power in being able to express it. I needed to get the song off my chest because I feel like that’s how I reconciled how I felt.

I think it has helped people. I’ve read their messages, saying “Thank you for telling my story,” and then they tell me what happened to them with their guys. I try to play therapist [laughs]. As a songwriter and performer you get to play a lot of different roles that I’m in various stages of ready for.

BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING AND WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH WITH YOUR FAMILY AND EX-GAY THERAPY, YOU ARE BEING LOOKED UP TO AS A SYMBOL OF STRENGTH AND OVERCOMING THE ODDS. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU?

It’s very �lattering to be a symbol of anything like that. To some degree I feel like, wow, I can’t live up to that [laughs]. Don’t put me in a position to be a role model. But the story is true. I don’t want to let people down. I got into this to play music as a way to express myself and tell stories. My focus now is not letting the people who put their trust in me down and being there for them.

WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP FOR YOU PROFESSIONALLY?

I’m trying to build a team now because this is a little bigger than one or two people can handle.

Trying to put together team a of people who can help point me in the right direction so that I’m staying true to myself and true to my art. Then I want to start releasing more music. It’s a lot and I’m just going, going, going right now. It’s going to be a while before I get a real vacation [laughs]. |  | To read bonus content from this interview go to watermarkonline.com.

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ARTS &

ENTERTAINMENT EVENT PLANNER

QUICK PICKS Maitland

Andre Smith

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The Fantastiks

American Idol Live

W

HILE ITS RATINGS MAY HAVE FALLEN IN THE

last few years, American Idol is still a juggernaut of young star power, and the 2013 tour is no exception.

The young singers from the FOX competition show’s recent season will perform at the Amway Center in Orlando on Aug. 1— and that includes winner Candice Glover, pictured at center, top.

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For more events or to submit your upcoming show, concert or performance, visit

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TAMPA The Lonesome West

OBSITE THEATER PRESENTS THE LONESOME WEST, part of a trio of plays all set in the small town of Leenane in rural western Ireland. Valene and Coleman, two brothers living alone in their father’s house after his recent death, �ind it impossible to exist without the most massive and violent disputes over the most mundane and innocent of topics.

Only Father Welsh, the

local priest, is prepared to try to reconcile the two before their petty squabbles spiral into vicious and bloody carnage. There’s a shotgun, a new stove, a collection of plastic saints, a pretty young girl, and more poteen than you could swing a dead cat at— what could possibly go wrong?

The show (meant for mature audiences) runs through Aug. 4 at the Straz Center. For details and tickets, visit JobsiteTheater.org. |  |

H

American Idol Live is a launching -point for the careers of each season’s top performers. The 2013 crop is no exception.

Expect a crowded Amway Center the night of the show and a younger crowd. But don’t worry, there are plenty of Idol fans of all ages and backgrounds that will descend upon the show to cheer on their favorites from Season 12. |  |

ST. PETERSBURG Art

OW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WHITE PAINTING? Would it matter who the painter was?

Would it be art? In American Stage’s Art, running Aug. 9-Sept. 8, one of Marc’s best friends, Serge, has just bought a very expensive painting.

This intelligent and witty Tony Award-winning play

by Yasmina Reza asks the question, “What does our taste in art say about who we are as individuals?” We’re sure many

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

readers of Watermark can relate to that conversation.

When Serge, a novice art collector, asks his two friends to view his newly acquired work of art, this “priceless” piece tests their �ifteen-year friendship and causes them to validate their self-worth.

Local actors Ricky Wayne, Gavin Hawk and Brian Shea all star in the production. For tickets and information, visit AmericanStage.org. |  |

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

23

S

FINDING HIS TRUTH: Tampa resident

T

Gabe Alves looks over the piles of literature and workbooks he collected between 20032008 while trying to “cure” his homosexuality in reparative therapy programs.

PHOTO BY JAKE STEVENS

24

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

watermarkonline.com

watermark

Surviving

IN DEPTH EX-GAY THERAPY

T h e r a py EXODUS’ CLOSURE IS A SMALL VICTORY FOR SURVIVORS OF PROGRAMS PROMOTING EX-GAY THERAPY Steve Blanchard EDITOR@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

W

HEN TAMPA RESIDENT GABE ALVES

learned that Exodus International, the Orlando-based, Christian “conversion therapy” organization, closed its doors in June, he had a mixed reaction. He was happy to hear that the headline-making anti-gay organization that promised to ‘cure’ gay men and women had �inally shut down after nearly four decades in operation.

But he’s concerned about the many other organizations continuing the practice Exodus abandoned.

“Exodus needed to close,” Alves says. “That’s a good thing. But reparative therapy isn’t gone. There are many other programs that still exist and they try to convince gay people that they can be cured, even though nothing is wrong with them.”

Since Exodus closed its doors, Focus

on the Family, an anti-gay organization out of Colorado, has stepped up its efforts to “convert” gay people from homosexuality to heterosexuality. In late June, the organization interviewed Anne Paulk, the executive director of the Restored Hope Network, a group that splintered off of Exodus last year when Exodus said it would no longer try to “cure” homosexuality.

“It was like the unnecessary death

of a dear friend,” she said about Exodus’ fall. “The person with samesex attraction usually has some pretty speci�ic wounds with their same-sex parent, their peers, their self-identity and their understanding of who the opposite gender is. What Christ calls sins, He also redeems from sin and provides for the overcoming of sin.

He delights in a repentant sinner even someone dealing with same-sex attraction.”

Interestingly, Paulk’s soon-to-be exhusband, John, has recanted his ex-gay therapy beliefs and announced he no longer believes such therapies work or are warranted.

Paulk joins former Exodus leaders Alan Chambers and Randy Thomas, as well as former “Love in Action” (LIA) executive director John Smid, in issuing public apologies to the LGBT community for the faulty therapy practices.

Those apologies are a good

Continued on page 32 |  |

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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watermarkonline.com

THE NEXT CHAPTER: Alan Chambers is the former leader of Exodus International, and spoke with Watermark about his public apology to the LGBT community and how he deals with his own same-sex attractions. PHOTO BY JAKE STEVENS

Exiting from Exodus IN-DEPTH: EX-GAY THERAPY

Alan Chambers tells us about his journey as ex-gay therapy figurehead and private, married man with same-sex attractions

O

Susan Clary SUSAN@WATERMARKONLINE.COM

RLANDO | ALAN CHAMBERS HAS

spent the last dozen years trying to “cure” homosexuality in the name of Jesus Christ as the executive director of Exodus International. It was his own personal story of setting aside gay feelings to marry a woman in the name of religion that inspired his desire to empower others to do the same.

Last month, the Winter Park native went on national television to offer an apology for those efforts and for hurting followers in the process. He said he was shutting down the world’s largest “ex-gay” organization, which has spent nearly 40 years providing “reparative” therapy to thousands of Christian gays seeking to live “righteous” lives as heterosexuals. Responses have ranged from bewildered to elated.

Appearing dapper in a bow tie

wearing his signature spectacles, Chambers talked to Watermark July 29 about the transformation that led to his about face and how he has handled his own same-sex attractions. The 41-year old and his wife, Leslie, 47, have been married for 16 years. They live with their two adopted children, Isaac and Molly, both 8.

WATERMARK: WALK US THROUGH YOUR TRANSFORMATION.

ALAN CHAMBERS: The transformation started six years ago when we said we hate the term “ex-gay.” That’s not how we want to be de�ined. I’m not sure I’ve ever met an ex-gay, whatever that label is. Those were big headlines in 2007 and 2006.

Over the course of the last 18 months, our supporters and our demographic have changed even more. As we have talked about the fact that 99.9% of the people I’ve met haven’t changed their sexual orientation, they’re still tempted or they still experience same-sex attractions and therefore, promising someone that they can go from gay to straight is not something we do

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

and not something we believe.

We still have conservative people who, like me, hold to a conservative theological view of sexual expression. And yet at the same time, the reality is we have gay and lesbian loved ones and we have gay and lesbian friends and there are gay and lesbian people who go to our church and we don’t feel they should be treated any differently than anyone else is treated.

DO YOU THINK BEING GAY IS A CHOICE?

No. I’ve never thought it was a choice. I didn’t choose this. Never have I thought it was a choice. You decide how you are going to live your life based on the reality that you have. My reality is such that I have same-sex attractions. What I have become very willing to admit is that this is who I am. This is my story. This is very much a part of my life. It is what it is. What are you going to do about it?

I am married, happily so. My primary attraction and orientation is towards my wife and we have

Continued on page 29 |  |

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27

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watermarkonline.com

|  | Alan Chambers from pg.27

an amazing relationship in every sense of the word and in every way that a marriage should be. People steward their sexuality in different ways. Some people choose celibacy.

Some people choose monogamous relationships. Some people choose what I’ve chosen. My story, I would say is rare, more rare than any of the other stories.

YOU HAVE SAID EXODUS SAVED YOUR LIFE. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

As a conservative Christian kid, there was no other place to go and these people took me in. It was 1990. I was 19-years-old. I went and they didn’t look at me funny and they didn’t tell me that I had to do anything crazy.

They just simply supported me in a way that I think the church should support people. Now that’s not everybody’s experience.

HOW DID YOU COME FROM WHERE YOU WERE HEADING UP THIS MINISTRY TO ACTUALLY SAY, ‘I’M SORRY?’

Our goal really hasn’t ever been to change people. Certainly our motto was “Change is possible” because we felt like that was what happened. For someone to just say simply “Change is possible,” of course it is, but what does that mean?

That’s why we got rid of that slogan well over two years ago.

Saying “Change is possible” makes people feel like you walk in, you �lip a light switch and you go straight and that’s not true. That’s not our story. That invalidates the complexity of someone’s journey.

So, we’ve been apologizing for certain things for years. It was in April that I sat down with a group of people who were hurt and expressed hurt in their relationship with Exodus. And I said to them, speci�ically to their faces, “I’m sorry.” And apologized on national television to anyone else who was listening, on behalf of things that I’ve said and on behalf of things that I would never say.

ON BEHALF OF WHAT THINGS THAT YOU’VE SAID?

Well, you know, certain things in which we were involved. Politics for instance. We got involved in the whole public policy debate back in 2002 starting here in Orlando.

If I could take back anything through the years, it would be that we got involved in the policy debate trying to in�luence that because

what we found was it wasn’t worth it. We alienated people we hurt.

There were times that we celebrated people coming to Jesus and the break up of their families.

I remember one story that ended after two decades. On my Facebook page I said: “Oh, you know here’s this great story of this woman who came to Jesus and after 22 years of her parents praying that her life would change. She has left her lover.” and I remember someone emailing me saying it was callous of me to celebrate that. You just devastated

gay Christian?” and I say “No, I’m not a gay Christian.” That’s not a trophy for my shelf either. I’m not ex-gay. I’m de�initely not that. I hate that label. People say so you’re bi or you’re whatever. You know, I’m married. I love my wife.

I have Leslie attractions. I’m a Dad. I’m a fabulous decorator and a gardener. I’m a million things before I am some narrow sexual identity that just isn’t important to me. If you want to know what my sexuality is, I have sex with my wife and that’s it. I’m monogamous. I don’t think

them. I hope that it helped them. I think that there are people who have been devastated by certain aspects or certain things that have occurred during the ex-gay movement as a whole and religion as a whole. I think there is great trauma out there and I hope those lives are ones that can be healed.

DID YOU ONCE SEE RELIGION AS A TOOL FOR CHANGE AND NOW SEE IT AS A TOOL FOR SOMETHING ELSE?

The controversy for me is I believe in the God of the Bible. I believe in

I’m not a gay Christian — that’s not a trophy for my shelf either.

I’m not ex-gay; I’m definitely not that.

I hate that label.

—ALAN CHAMBERS

this partner of hers that after 22 years of spending her life with her.

The other woman isn’t celebrating.

DO YOU THINK YOU WERE LIVING WITH BLINDERS ON?

Nothing else has really changed. I think in Christianity, speci�ically, we �ight our position and it fails to recognize people. When I look at what I want to be controversial about, I want to be controversial about Jesus. But I live in a world that’s pluralistic. There are all sorts of religions and all sorts of sexualities and there are all sorts of people who are law-abiding citizens out trying to do the best that they can to promote the common good.

We can agree to disagree on certain things, or we can as friends, sit down and have a conversation about what we disagree on; but if we live there, we’re in trouble. We all have our own bias. I think that’s something that has changed.

WOULD YOU SAY YOU SUPPRESS YOUR FEELINGS OR DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF BISEXUAL?

No. I don’t put a sexual label on myself. People say, “So, you’re a

about having sex with anybody but my wife.

HOW DID IT BECOME IMPORTANT TO YOU TO TRY TO HELP GAYS LIVE A STRAIGHT LIFESTYLE?

Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do as a Christian? You care about what everybody else is doing and you try to �ix it? And that’s probably the thing that’s changed for me. I can’t care. It doesn’t mean I don’t care.

That’s callous. I can’t do anything about it. It’s none of my business.

You want to know my opinion?

Watch how I live my life. That’s my opinion, but I can’t tell you how you should live your life.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE RUINED PEOPLE’S LIVES AND HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?

(Long pause) I feel like our words have power and I feel like there are words that I’ve used that have contributed to people feeling more shame and more guilt than they should. I think that shame and guilt affected people negatively.

Have I ruined people’s lives?

Some people have told me I have. I hope that my apology mattered to

Jesus and I believe that’s the way.

That’s the controversy of it all. When it comes to who follows Jesus, I would have probably said people who are truly following Christ are surrendering this part of their life.

One of the things that has changed for me, I believe that there are gay and lesbian people who have as vibrant and amazing and intimate relationship with Christ as I do, but we have chosen different ways to express our sexualities.

I have always believed that anybody can know Jesus, but I probably would have said Good Christian, Bad Christian. If you are being faithful, truly faithful in the area of your sexuality, then you’re going to surrender that. Yet there are people as faithful as me who haven’t.

That’s hard for me. I don’t know what to do with that, but I don’t have to do anything with it. That’s really the point. I’m not living their lives. I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

It’s not for me to judge.

WHAT’S YOUR ORGANIZATION NOW?

Our organization is ‘Speak. Love.’ and our website is ReduceFear.org.

Our organization is going to be about

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

bringing people to the table who have varying perspectives, mostly from a Christian worldview. We want people who are not interested in debate. They’re not interested in the �ight. They’re not interested in a battle.

They’re interested in faith and sexuality because that’s an important conversation to have. I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon. And I certainly don’t think there are people out there trying to bring in all sides to the table. I’m not going to tell you what you have to think anymore. I’m simply going to present all the options and let you decide for yourself and I think that’s the future of Christianity.

It’s allowing people to think for themselves without telling them this is what you have to believe if you are going to be my brand of Christian.

DO YOU FEEL YOU ARE 100% WHO ARE YOU?

Absolutely. The reason I have never used the gay label in this journey is just it doesn’t re�lect who I am.

I have same-sex attractions. They do not interfere and have never interfered in my relationship with my wife. They are something that is there. Attractions don’t mean temptation. It doesn’t mean I am not tempted but attractions don’t mean temptations. They are not something I am suppressing. They are something that’s there.

I walk out, and there’s a goodlooking guy, and he’s a goodlooking guy. What do you do with that? The same thing my wife does with it.

You know she thinks Richard Armitage is hot. Great. I’m not worried when we’re intimate that she’s thinking of Richard Armitage or she thinks I’m thinking about Richard Armitage. I’ve been married almost 16 years. I’ve never in the course of our marriage thought about anybody in our marriage, but my wife. It doesn’t mean I don’t think someone else is attractive.

We all have decisions to make and my decision was when I proposed to my wife, that I forsake all others.

That I was going to be faithful to her for the course of our marriage. I haven’t had any trouble doing that.

It’s hard to do, but I don’t feel like it’s a struggle for me. It’s a privilege for me. I love my wife and she loves me and I’m not worried that she’s thinking of someone else. |  | To read bonus content from this interview go to watermarkonline.com.

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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|  | Ex-Gay Therapy from pg.25

start, believes Merrell Dickey, a Tampa resident and former Roman Catholic priest who left the priesthood in 2003.

“I was very pleased,” Dickey says, referencing Chambers’ apology to the LGBT community. “I can’t say that someone isn’t sincere when they apologize. His apology is a big thing. If it’s not sincere, that’s big and he’ll have to deal with that. But this is a big step.”

Dickey says he knows there are other, smaller groups practicing “reparative therapy,” but Exodus shuttering its doors makes a huge statement.

Interestingly, Dickey was interviewed for this story the same day Pope Francis told reporters that he would not judge priests who are gay.

“Does the pope’s comment �ix everything the Roman Catholic church has done to harm gays? No,” Dickey says. “But it’s a move in the right direction. [Chambers’] apology is similar. The main organization that has caused all this harm has shut down and issued an apology.

That’s great.”

CURING AN IDENTITY CRISIS

Alves knows about conversion therapy—also called ‘ex-gay’ or ‘reparative’ therapy—�irst hand.

And he has heard speeches like Anne Paulk’s many times. He put himself through several programs in a hope to “cure” his homosexual desires.

He participated in LIA in Memphis, Tenn., to learn to suppress or eliminate his attraction toward other men all together.

“These programs don’t consider anyone gay,” Alves says. “They tell you that gay people have an identity crisis. Being gay isn’t an identity, it’s a behavior and a sin. That’s what they teach you when you come in.”

Alves observed that homosexuality is treated as an addiction, much like alcoholism or drug issues.

“Everything is in the same bucket,” he says. “Your treatment is a 12-step program, complete with a 12-step bible. I tried everything I knew to ‘�ix’ who I was. I felt I had to in order to save my family.”

LIVING THE STRAIGHT LIFE

Despite knowing at a young age that he was attracted to other boys, Alves married his best friend, a woman. He even told her about his same-sex attraction before their

32

PARTNERS NO MORE: Former spouses John and Anne Paulk led Focus on

the Family’s Love Won Out organization and wrote a book about their “journeys from homosexuality.” John quit in 2010. He since apologized for his involvement in the organization, which she still represents.

FORMER FATHER: Merrell Dickey is a former Roman Catholic priest who explored several reparative therapy programs before finally deciding to come out and leave the priesthood in 2002. PHOTO COURTESY MERRELL DICKEY

wedding—and she agreed to move forward anyway.

They now have two children, an 8-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy.

“I didn’t have trouble having sex with a woman because it was about trying to �ix myself,” says Alves, who grew up in Brazil. “I didn’t have any other option other than marrying a woman. I wanted a best friend and

would just become a rotton person.

If I was honest I thought I could move on and heal.”

After four years of therapy in Tampa, Alves �inally decided to act upon his impulses and he went to Orlando, where he had a physical encounter with another man after meeting him at Mannequins night club. He soon left his wife and began

promising paths to change his sexual orientation and support groups to help him in his struggle with same-sex attraction.

But nothing worked. Alves says he would purposely put himself in places where he could watch two men engaging in sex—mostly in parks. He never did, however, physically pursue sex in these

I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to save my family.

—GABE ALVES

it wasn’t about her being sexy or beautiful. It was about living my life with a best friend.”

Soon after he married his wife in 2002, Alves put himself in a therapy program speci�ically geared toward battling same-sex attraction. In fact, his local therapist in Tampa came highly recommended through the Exodus International website. Soon after making a phone call, Alves found himself sharing details of his struggle with a new therapist.

After a while, Alves was surrounded by self-help books

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

public places.

“It was just the thought of seeing it happen that made it exciting,” Alves says. “But my biggest problem wasn’t the parks. It was the internet and gay porn.”

To absolve himself of his socalled sins, Alves would give computer passwords to his wife and tell her exactly what sites he would visit online.

“It was my way of guilting and shaming myself,” he says. “If you confess your sins you’ll be healed.

If I kept those things inside of me I

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

living his gay life in Tampa.

“From February to May 2007, I did everything I wanted to,” Alves says. “I went out, met men, had sex.

It was a mini-coming out time.”

But only after a few months, he received a phone call from his wife, telling him she was pregnant with their second child. That’s when Alves decided he needed to recommit to defeating his same-sex attractions and live a heterosexual life.

SEEKING SALVATION

watermarkonline.com

He traveled to Minneapolis, Minn., to take part in a four-day sex addiction workshop. When he returned to Florida, he registered for the 28-day LIA ex-gay therapy program in Tennessee.

“I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to save my family,” he says.

Counselors at LIA started by “helping” Alves �igure out why he had desires for other men. By �inding the “problem,” he could help God heal him, Alves was told.

“They bring in the regular bullshit,” he laughs. “But during that 20-plus days, I started believing what they said—that I come from a divorced family so the lack of a male role model in my life caused an identity crises that led me to look for inappropriate sex.”

Alves says that other than calling his wife, which was not allowed, he followed the program precisely.

“But deep in my heart I knew it wasn’t going to work.”

He was punished for calling his wife late one night and counselors put him in “Sanctuary,” which is essentially solitary con�inement.

There, he was ordered to detail, on paper, his sexual experiences with other men, but as if his daughter was in the room watching the trysts.

A H I S T O R I C L O O K AT

‘REPARATIVE THERAPY’ 1900 HAPPY FAMILY: Gabe Alves is a proud father of two children, Caleb, 4, and Gabby, 8, whom he had with his ex-wife. PHOTO COURTESY GABE ALVES

When he did as he was told, he says his counselor refused to give him any more instruction. So Alves packed up his things and left the program two days early. But he took with him a renewed resolve to let his faith heal him.

“I was so upset when I left,” he recalls. “I tattooed my wedding ring, a bible verse on my shoulder and the initials of my family on my chest. I even shaved my head.”

He traveled with Bible verses in his backpack and his suitcase held self-help books on “curing” his homosexuality.

“Those people were crazy,” he says. “But I really thought that their program could work if I kept using it. Obviously, it didn’t. It can’t.”

FINDING ACCEPTANCE

By 2009, Alves had �inally accepted his sexual orientation.

He divorced his wife and moved to Tampa. He has had boyfriends since then and says he sees his children regularly.

“My ex-wife is very conservative and thinks being gay is a sin,” he says. “But all I can do is be who I am and show my kids that there is nothing wrong with being a gay man.”

Alves ex-wife is remarried now and very active in the church the two used to attend together. He is also active in a church in Tampa, one that is LGBT af�irming.

“I have my faith and I am comfortable with who I am,” he says. “I look at all of the literature I’ve collected over the years— and think about the money I

spent—and just laugh. I just needed someone to tell me that being gay was okay. I just needed acceptance.”

For Dickey, the former Roman Catholic priest, �inding acceptance came from within the very book that therapists had used to “combat” homosexuality in his therapy sessions.

“In the Roman Catholic church, if you’re gay you’re ‘inherently disordered,” Dickey says. “That’s a strong statement. So how do you �ix that?”

Therapy sessions taught Dickey that he needed to avoid temptations—avoid streets with gay bars on them, for example.

Eventually, Dickey says that he realized he was who he was, and that nothing could—or should— change that.

“These groups pick and choose the parts of the Bible they want to use to make gay people feel guilty for being who they are,” Dickey says. “But the Bible says [in Luke 10:27] ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Dickey says reparative therapy groups contradict that by convincing gay men and women that there is something wrong with them, and therefore they are unable to love themselves.

“In my journey, at one point I �inally realized that,” Dickey says.

“I wasn’t loving myself, and that’s not right.” |  |

Shortly before the turn of the 20th century, physician Denslow Lewis publishes that he believes that women brought up in wealthy families could develop “sexual hyperesthesia” (excessive sensitivity to stimuli) and become lesbians. In order to cure these women, the doctor prescribes cocaine solutions and surgical removal of “adherent clitorises.”

1957

In the mid20th century, researcher Gunther Dorner of the Institute of Experimental Endocrinology hypothesizes that altering hormonal imbalances in the womb could prevent homosexuality before it developed.

1962

Dr. Irving Bieber’s study, “Homosexuality: A Psychoanalytic Study of Male Homosexuals” is published and is still often used by anti-gay “reparative therapists.”

According to Truth Wins Out, of Bieber’s study sample of 106 homosexuals used to represent all gay people, 28 of 106 were schizophrenic, 31 were neurotic and 42 had character disorders.

1973

Modern research that relies on science, not stereotypes, leads to the American Psychiatric Association voting to remove homosexuality as

an illness from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.

Suddenly, gay people were no longer considered mentally ill. All major medical and mental health associations soon followed the APA’s lead and declassified homosexuality as a disorder.

1973 1976

Love in Action, a predecessor to Exodus International, is formed.

Exodus International is formed and becomes the world’s largest “Ex-Gay” therapy organization.

2006

Wanye Benson forms Truth Wins Out, an organization devoted to debunking the claims that individuals can “change” their sexual orientation from gay to straight. Benson is a former investigative journalist who has photographed notable ex-gay therapists in compromising samesex situations, such as leaving gay bars.

2009

Manifested Glory Ministries makes headlines when a 20-minute YouTube video shows a 16-year-old being subjected to an exorcism to “cure” him of his homosexuality. Church members chant “Come on, you homosexual demon.

You homosexual spirit, we call you out right now!”

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

2010

John Smid, leader of Love in Action, resigns his post. Two years later he apologizes to the LGBT community for pushing the therapy.

2011

A Chinese psychiatrist gives a government-sponsored training session on conversion therapy and suggested “cures” for homosexuality include cold showers, prayer and abstinence.

2012

An undercover journalist reveales that the medical clinic of Marcus Bachmann, husband of former Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann, practiced reparative therapy with him in 2011.

2012

California becomes the first state to outlaw ex-gay therapy practices on people under the age of 18.

New Jersey becomes the second state to do so in 2013.

2013

Exodus International closes its doors one year after announcing that the concept of reparative therapy does not work. Executive Director Alan Chambers issues a public apology to the LGBT community and appears on national television to apologize for his role in the practice..

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Directed by Fest fave Wendy Jo Carlton (Jamie & Jessie Are Not Together,Hannah Free) Easy Abby is a new comedic webseries about the (mis)adventures of a thirtysomething lesbian living in Chicago and trying to juggle the dating scene with slickness and sense of humor.

Aug. 15th, 7:30 p.m., Muvico Baywalk Tickets: $10 at tiglff.com, or call Renee at 813.879.4220 or at the door

HONORING OUR NEWLY ANNOUNCED CIRCLE OF CARING MEMBERS HOSTED BY OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS COCKTAILS & CELEBRATION

Saturday, August 17, 2013 6:00pm - 10:00pm

AUG 17

Push Lounge: 128 3rd Street South, Saint Petersburg Café Alma will provide the catering Circle of Caring Members, Guests, Board Members and staff mingle in the plush Push Lounge enjoying signature cocktails, heavy hors d’oeuvres, silent auction and a chance to renew our resolve in the support and fight against HIV/AIDS.

Push Lounge · St. Petersburg 6:00pm - 10:00pm

Tickets: $40 includes first two drinks and hors d’oeurves To purchase tickets visit ASAPservices.org

SPONSORED BY

suncoast hospice foundation · AIDS service association of pinellas board members café alma · push lounge

MEDIA PARTNERS

watermark media · creative loafing · clear channel radio tampa Rainbow411.com · TampaBayGay.com

A COPY OF THE OFFICIAL REGISTRATION (#CH3696) AND FINANCIAL INFORMATION MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THEDIVISION OF CONSUMER SERVICES BY CALLING TOLL - FREE 1-800-435-7352 WITHIN THE STATE. REGISTRATION DOES NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT, APPROVAL, OR RECOMMENDATION BY THE STATE. AIDS SERVICE ASSOCIATION OF PINELLAS, INC.

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watermarkonline.com

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ShotonSite

Tampa Bay

1- KRINGLE CHAT: Amy Demilo chats with Santa and Mrs. Claus at Hamburger Mary’s in Ybor during Christmas in July Drag Queen Bingo July 24. PHOTO COURTESY CARRIE WEST

2- JUICY SUNDAY: Members of the Tampa Tantrums Roller Derby team stopped by to check out the new Juicy Sundays T-Dance in Ybor City at Level III July 28. PHOTO COURTESY CARRIE WEST

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3- PROMMED UP: Quench Lounge bartenders CJ Tauber and Jeff Beadle donned their skippiest prom attire for the bar’s prom celebration July 27. PHOTO COURTESY TINKERFLUFF.COM 4- COMIC RELIEF: Melanie Minyon makes a special, comedic appearance for Christmas in July at Hamburger Mary’s July 24. PHOTO COURTESY CARRIE WEST

5- DRINKS APLENTY: There were shots aplenty during The Prom You Wish You Had event at Quench Lounge on July 27. PHOTO COURTESY TINKERFLUFF.COM

6- NEW PROM MEMORIES: This group was all smiles during the “Prom You Wish You Had” held at Quench Lounge on July 27. PHOTO

COURTESY TINKERFLUFF.COM

7- SURPRISE!: Tampa resident Tyler John reacts to his surprise birthday party at the Ybor City Wine Bar last month. PHOTO

COURTESY CARRIE WEST

8- SONS OF SOFTBALL: (L-R) Charlie Waters, Eric Shivers and Marty Walsh enjoy the Miss Suncoast Softball League pageant at Bradley’s on 7th July 28. PHOTO COURTESY SUNCOAST SOFTBALL LEAGUE

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OVERHEARD MARY’S IN CLEARWATER?

I

T LOOKS LIKE MARY MAY FINALLY BE CROSSING THE BAY. A new Facebook Page promoting Hamburger Mary’s Clearwater popped up the last few days in July, and while it doesn’t disclose an exact location, it does hint that it’s ready to move full steam ahead toward a grand opening.

It looks like the new Mary’s will be an extension of the Mary’s in Ybor City, since one of the contacts for resumes is Brian DeChane, co-owner of the Ybor City restaurant, and Kurt King.

The new business is accepting resumes for behind the house and front of the house positions.

Check out the new Hamburger Mary’s Clearwater Facebook page for updates and details.

CROWDS PACK 7 SINS

T

HE LGBT COMMUNITY WELCOMED A NEW NIGHT SPOT TO LARGO in a very big way on Friday, July 26.

7 Sins Night club brought a huge LGBT Friday Night Dance Party to a 10,000 square-foot space within Los 2 Pebes Restaurant and Bar. A VIP area, a boom boom room and an outside Tiki bar stayed busy throughout the night. One attendee told Watermark that the club atmosphere was reminiscent of clubs found in New York. The night of entertainment presented two shows with host Madisyn

Michaels and featured Nae Nae Dominatrix, Star Montrese Love and Natasha Possh. A rotating cast will bring the party back every Friday night and each week, popular Billboard magazine reporting DJ Greg Anderson (who is also a WAVE Award winner) will be in the DJ booth. You can keep up to date on 7 Sins by following it on Facebook at Facebook. com/7SinsNightClub.

PROM-OTING MEMORIES

I

T WAS A BUSY WEEKEND FOR LARGO. Quench Nightclub held its very �irst “Prom You Wish You Had” on July 27, and the bar was packed with tuxedo-

clad men and women and several prom dresses. There was even a King and Queen, King and King and Queen and Queen ceremony, all emceed by the hilarious Alexis Mateo and Madisyn Michaels.

Prizes were awarded for “best prom attire” and several area businesses donated to the cause, including Georgie’s Alibi, Simply Delicious NY Deli, Lucky Star Lounge, The Garage, Nardo’s Naturals and Dunedin Lanes.

Quench also provided two bar tabs as prizes. Quench was decorated with white balloons and celebrity cardboard cutouts and bartenders were looking hot in their tuxedo Speedos. For more photos check out TinkerFluff’s photos at WatermarkOnline.com.

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

SOFTBALLERS DO DRAG FOR CHARITY

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HE ANNUAL MISS SUNCOAST SOFTBALL ALL STAR PAGEANT was held in Ybor City’s Bradley’s on 7th July 27, and all proceeds bene�ited the Ybor Youth Clinic.

Representatives from several teams donned wigs, makeup and fabulous gowns and took to the popular stage. All of their tips were generously donated to the charity, which helps local LGBT youth in Tampa Bay. Organizer Gerre Reynolds reported that more than $700 was raised that night, and there were no major ankle injuries due to high heals. |  |

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CLUB ORLANDO COME OUT TO PLAY! Gyms come and go……

Club Orlando’s Gym has been here for 14 years and is still going strong!

We Offer Monthly and Annual Memberships. Stop in for a tour and a complimentary work out.

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ORLANDO

1- CHEESE COURT: Cheese monger Tonda Nazario, with Tonda’s Kitchen and La Femme du Fromage, educated attendees about dairy delights at An Evening of Wine and Cheese Pairings July 27 at the GLBT Center. PHOTO BY RANDY STEPHENS 2- WELCOME WAGON: Patty McMillan, the smiling face who greets customers at Orlando Plastic Surgery Center, used her skills to welcome guests at Watermark’s Third Thursday networking social July 18. PHOTO BY SCOTT MCCAULEY

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3- SKY RIDE: Kevin LaPalme (left) and Charlie Reader, owners of LionShare Media Group, celebrate the launch of LaPalme Magazine on July 26 at ONE80 Grey Goose Lounge atop the Amway Center. PHOTO BY SUSAN CLARY 4- CULTURE CLASH: Featured artists and guests take in the culture at the opening night of Differing Views: Art at the Center on July 22. PHOTO BY JOSE DELACUESTA 5- NEED FOR SPEED: Stephanie “The Bayou Basher” Hudgens with the Orlando Psycho City Derby Girls rockets away from the competition at the Serial Thrillers vs. Sunnyland Slammers bout July 21 at Semoran Skateway. PHOTO BY JAMES BENNETT 6- A WHAT?: Curt Hanson, owner of Curio Curiosity Shoppe in Ivanhoe Village, receives a new delivery—an embalmed two-headed pig—on July 25. PHOTO BY SCOTTIE CAMPBELL 7- DISCUSSION GROUP: (L-R) attorney Mary Meeks and Mark Cady with Out & Proud Veterans of America discuss the after-effects of the death of DOMA at a panel discussion July 17. PHOTO BY DAVID THOMAS MORAN

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8- TRADE SECRETS: Graham Jarrett, General Manager or Orlando Weekly, gives insights into advertising during Ivanhoe After Hours July 29 at Maximum Entertainment Group. PHOTO BY SCOTTIE CAMPBELL

OVERHEARD IN LIFE, LOVE AND DEATH, EQUALITY MATTERS

O

RLANDO WEEKLY COLUMNIST BILLY MANES eloquently shared his private and public pains of losing his partner to suicide followed by the aftermath of a legal system that works against same sex couples. That piece “Till Death Do Us Part,” ran as a Weekly cover story in the April 10 issue.

Local �ilmmaker Vicki Nance has made that heart-wrenching story into a documentary short titled Billy & Alan. It is an Of�icial Selection for the Global Peace Film Festival and screenings will be at 6 p.m. Sept. 18 in the Bush Auditorium and 8:30 p.m. Sept.

21 at the Cobb Plaza Downtown.

For more information, visit VickiNantzFilms.com.

NEW FASHION AND ENTERTAINMENT MAG TAKES OFF

K

EVIN LAPALME AND CHARLIE READER, OF ORLANDO-BASED LIONSHARE MEDIA GROUP, launched their beautiful and impressive fashion and entertainment magazine, LaPalme, atop the Amway Center at ONE80 Grey Goose Lounge on July 26. The quarterly publication, with a starting circulation of 10,000, shares the season’s hottest trends. With editorial features from large markets

including New York and Chicago, LaPalme seeks to engage men and woman as readers. Mercedes Benz of South Orlando sponsored the launch. The inaugural magazine contains articles on the Flashlights, an indie rock band from Titusville, and Josh Lyons, rock star sushi chef made famous by the Food Network. It can be found in high-end salons, hotels and boutiques in Central Florida.

Subscriptions are available at LaPalmeMagazine.com.

DON’T JUST GET FIT, GET ZEBRAFIT!

H

EY, DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER. We didn’t name the class but we’re excited about the partnership

between the Zebra Coalition and Bill Bennett Boot Camps.

The two have teamed to offer special group �itness programs that are designed for LGBT youth and their allies. Bennett, of course, is well known in Orlando for his innovative �itness regimens and his growing client base. The Zebra Coalition services Central Florida’s LGBT youth community by offering an array of programs and, most importantly, a safe space for them.

The boot camps will include pumping music, plyometrics, cardio intervals, mat work and nutrition advice in a nonjudgmental environment. ZebraFit is held every Wednesday afternoon at 4:45-6 p.m. For details and to sign up, visit ZebraYouth.org.

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

IT’S ALL GREEK TO HIM

O

RLANDO PHOTOGRAPHER JOSH GARRICK HAS A PASSION FOR GREEK ART AND ARCHITECTURE. He has visited the country more than 40 times, having traveled to Greece as a professor at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. Now Garrick is the �irst American exhibit at the National Archaeological Museum of Greece. His black and white photography, Seeking the Ancient Kallos, will be displayed Sept. 12 through Jan. 8, 2014. If you can’t make it to Greece to see his work, Garrick’s work has been added to the permanent colle tions of the Eustis Museum of Art, Orlando Museum of Art and the Art & History Museums of Maitland. |  |

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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counselor

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ATTORNEY John C. Miotke

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Portuguese, German, Hindu, Punjabi, Urdu, Gujarati are also spoken

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@the Rande James Spa #MM29865 400 4th St. N., St. Petersburg • 727-498-8811 • 941-323-3525 Facebook GeorgeWenzel Lmt

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open 24 hours certified trainers with real world certification.

A WASHINGTON ‘I DO’: Orlando couple Joe Royals and Kent Oullette were married in Lakebay,

Wash., on July 27.

Transitions

CHANGE-OF-LIFE COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS Passings Russ Crumley, 52, of St. Petersburg, passed away on Wednesday, July 24. Crumley was a writer and one of the founders of the Central Florida Softball League in Orlando. He is survived by his husband, George Spence, his mother, Carol Jean Woodall, his step children, nieces, nephew and his dogs. A celebration of life service was held on July 31.

Congratulations The Massage Spa in St. Pete celebrates its sixth year of business on Aug. 11.

Orlando Hope and Help Center president and BB&T executive Joe Royals and Kent Ouellette were married July 27 in Lakebay, Wash., just south of Seattle on the Key Peninsula. The couple have spent four and a half years together and reside in College Park.

Royals will celebrate his 50th Birthday Aug. 10.

Local Birthdays LGBT affirming former St. Pete councilman and current St. Pete mayoral candidate Rick Kriseman, Sarasota visual artists and AIDS activist George Box (Aug. 2); dynamite derby girl Kiersten Taylor, former Tampa Eagle wrestler and Iowa’s AccessOnline

editor Arthur Bruer (Aug. 3); Sky 60-Niners slugger Donnie McCammon (Aug. 4); Orlando Penthouse Acupuncture owner Mike Eghbal, St. Petersburg java flinger and Starbucks supervisor Mark Mercado, Tampa scuba diver and beach fan Nick Walters, Metro City Realtor Eric Rollings (Aug.5); Hillsborough County ally and State Representative candidate Russell Patterson, Orlando designer and Project Runway alum Jesse LeNoir, GaYbor District Coalition board member emeritus Rich Kerin (Aug.6); Tampa showgirl and laser professional Jamie Cole, Parliament House jack-of-all-trades Drew Sizemore (Aug. 7); Kirkpatrick Veterinary Hospital manager Victor Daza, St. Petersburg doc Kush Patel, Orlando softball champion and bowling superstar Scott Dunkle (Aug. 8); Sarasota actor/writer Steve Warren, numbers-cruncher Rose Gamba (Aug. 9); Hospice of Florida chaplain Randall Forshee, St. Petersburg activist Karen Murray, Largo beautician Jay Berwanger (Aug. 10); St. Petersburg’s Equality Florida spokesman Brian Winfield, St. Petersburg spiritual leader Fred Baldwin (Aug. 11); Rotten S’more Shiala Morales (Aug. 12); Tampa Bay leather bear daddy Eric Siglin, Stand Up Florida’s Bryan Arnette (Aug. 13); Regalia owner and beauty pageant emcee David Lang, Tampa performer Robyn Demornay (Aug. 14).

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Are you making a Transition? Having a birthday or anniversary? Did you get a new job or promotion? See your news in Watermark! Send your Transition to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com or go to WatermarkOnline.com/Submit-a-Transition - it’s that easy!

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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accountant

alternative dispute resolution

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924 West Colonial Drive | Orlando, Florida 32804 The hiring of an attorney is an important decision that should not be based solely upon any information included on this page, nor upon any advertisement that you might view.

Before you decide to retain any individual attorney or law firm, you are strongly encouraged to ask that you be sent free written information about qualifications and experience.

accountant

attorney

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Call 4 Seasons for all of your air conditioning needs.

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319 Park Lake Circle, Orlando, Fl. 32803 407-222-4606

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The Valdivia Law Firm H a blo E spa ñol

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

orlando marketplace

chiropractor

attorney

cleaning service

DR. JARED SILBERSTEIN Chiropractic Physician

FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC WORKS “DISCOVER THE DIFFERENCE”

attorney

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T O N Y L . R I C H A R D S O N P. A .

Attorney & Counselor at Law

115 North Stewart Avenue, Suite 3 • Kissimmee, FL 34741 P: (407) 944-4511 • F: (407) 255-8940 www.osclaw.com • Tony_Richardson@osclaw.com

South Park Chiropractic

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8865 Commodity Circle Suite 3 Orlando, FL 32819 407-354-0009 Fax: 407-354-4882

10882 West Colonial Drive Ocoee, FL 34761 407-654-2575 Fax: 407-654-6027

(Off of John Youn Pky near Sand Lake Road)

(Hwy 50 and Maguire Road)

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attorney JOHN B. DORRIS ATTORNEY AT L AW

Corporate Bankruptcy Commerical Litigation Family Mediator 111 NORTH M AGNOLIA AVENUE SUITE 1400, ORLANDO, FLORIDA 32801 DIRECT LINE: (407) 481-5868 FAX: (407) 481-5801 jdorris@lseblaw.com WWW.LSEBLAW.COM

Mediator #24369F

attorney

Read It Online!

Head to WatermarkOnline.com and click on the Digital Publications link to a read a digital version of the printed newspaper!

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AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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counselor

counselor

home improvement

insurance

407-435-9995

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MetroSurance inc Individual and Small Business

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CIT Y OA SIS

“Your Downtown Garden Shop” Sales - Leasing - Maintenance

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for your peace of mind

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watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

Let Us Help Secure Your Future CRAIG GOODMAN (407) 362-1600 or (888) 683-1159 WEB: www.metrosurance.org EMAIL: craig@metrosurance.org

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info@OrlandoYouthAlliance.org

For in-depth LGBT

A DIVERSE CONGREGATION GATHERING TO SHARE GOD’S ALL INCLUSIVE LOVE.

businesses listings

in-home pet cuddling service • since 1998 (407) 246-5249 •www.cuddlesofcollegepark.com

visit the Purple Pages on

Joy Metropolitan Community Church Reverend Terri Steed, Senior Pastor Wednesday Evening Spiritual Transformation Classes 7:00 PM Sunday Morning Worship 10:00 AM 2351 South Ferncreek Ave. | Orlando, FL 32806 Office: 407.894.1081

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religious

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Holy Angels Catholic Community INDEPENDENT CATHOLIC CHURCH OF THE AMERICAS

Sunday Mass 12:30 pm

worship at: First United Church of Christ 4605 Curry Ford Rd., Orlando, FL 32812 407-677-0072 www.holyangelscatholiccommunity.com

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tree service Billy Arwood T R E E B I L L Y, I N C.

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AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

watermark YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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FREE Classiiieds Online

[CLASSIFIEDS] central florida

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personal services

Log on to Watermarkonline.com to place your ad today

HEAD-TO-TOE BODYRUBS Session includes: Hot oil rubdown, Great hands, $60 In only: Call Ken 941-720-1731. Sarasota/ Bradenton.

PRIME S. COLONIALTOWN OFFICE SPACE - High profile location in quiet downtown neighborhood next to Watermark offices. Includes: monitored alarm system, landscape maintenance, CAT 5 networking throughout. $750. Available Now! Contact Rick (407) 481-2243 ext 108

tampa bay personal services MAN-TO-MAN - very friendly, masculine, good looking man with solid athletic body. Total relaxation & stress reduction. Rick (813)546-8220.

No texts.

Everyone Needs to Be Touched - 1 - 1 1/4 hours full body workout.

Also body shaving. Discount rates for students & ethnic. By appt. only - Call Jim 727-698-9505

Large Luxury Duplex for RentCentrally located duplex: On Maitland / Eatonville border / close to I-4 / close to Orlando Avenue: 3 Bedrooms / 2 1/2 Bathrooms, Security Alarm System, Perimeter Security Cameras , Totally remodeled duplex, Washer & Dryer with storage , New appliances throughout duplex, Landlord provided lawn service. First, and Security Deposit Required. Application and background check. Rent $975.00, Security deposit $975.00, $30 per adult application fee.

386-334-7969- Ken

daytona vacation rentals

BODY SENSATIONS...”WHERE YOUR KNOTS...BECOME NOT!” YOU DESERVE A LITTLE RELAXATION. Providing a tranquil setting for those healthy in( MIND & BODY ). Minutes from Tampa Airport.

Hot towel aromatherapy relaxation to rejuvenation sessions. Evening availability THIS MONTH RECEIVE $15 OFF A 90 MINUTE MASSAGE. ONLY $70. Tim R. Roulette LMT MA-56731 813-352-7814

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AUG. 1 - AUG. 14, 2013 // ISSUE 20.16

Vacation Rental- Furnished 1 bedroom apartment sleeps 2, Pool & hot tub, 4 blocks to beach. Rates: $100 night & Up, 3 nt min.stay. Ask about low weekly or monthly rates also. www.thevillabb.com 386-248-2020

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AVAIL SEPT 1. $695. One bdr in beautiful Peppertree Lake Condos, N St Pete. 2nd floor with screened balcony. Central A/C, DW, W/D, disposal, range and refrig. 1st, last, $500. security. $40 app fee. NO PETS. NO SMOKERS! 727-542-2000. More pics: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/ apa/3937223280.html

Staff Report

M

OSCOW, RUSSIA | Despite recent legislation that clearly bans anything that promotes homosexuality, out Olympic athletes and out spectators will be exempt from the law in 2014.

That’s according to a release from the International Olympic Committee, which says it has received assurances from Russia’s government that athletes and spectators at next year’s Winter Olympics in Sochi will not be arrested.

Since it was signed into law

by Russian President Vladimir Putin in June, the legislation targeting propaganda that depicts the LGBT community in any positive way has attracted calls from activists around the world to boycott Russia’s �irst Winter Olympics.

“As a sporting organization, what we can do is to continue to work to ensure that the Games can take place without discrimination,” The IOC said.

The ban on “propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations” is part of an effort to promote traditional Russian values over Western liberalism, which the Kremlin and the Russian Orthodox Church see as corrupting Russian youth and contributing to the protests against Putin’s rule.

Hefty �ines can now be imposed on those who provide information about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community to minors or hold gay pride rallies. |  |

NOTABLE NOTABLE SEPTEMBER AUGUST EVENTS EVENTS

Pro baseball has new standards on gay discrimination Wire report

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ajor League Baseball says it will bolster its policies against harassment and discrimination based on sexual orientation, according to a new agreement.

Under the new policy, the league will create a workplace code of conduct and distribute it to every major league and minor league player.

It also will provide new training sessions and create a centralized complaint system to report any harassment and discrimination.

“Just making people aware,’’ said Chicago White Sox manager Robin Ventura.``I think that’s part of the reason, if they’re going to do that, that’s why they would do it.

Just put it out there and kind of be ahead of it instead of

behind it.’’

“I think it’s already out there. I think what’s happened in basketball and all this stuff, it’s better just to get out there and be ready for it,’’ he said.

Few professional athletes are openly gay, and gay rights groups have blamed the policies and atmosphere in sports for forcing gay athletes to hide their sexual orientations.

Major League Baseball already has an antidiscrimination policy, but the new one speci�ically will prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Commissioner Bud Selig said baseball won’t allow any discrimination.

“We welcome all individuals regardless of sexual orientation into our ballparks, along with those of different races, religions, genders and

national origins,’’ Selig said. ``Both on the �ield and away from it, Major League Baseball has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment and discrimination based on sexual orientation.’’

Said Ventura: ``I mean, I think he’s right.’’

“I think it’s just better to put it out there and clean it up and make everybody more conscious about it. I would expect that from our team, too,’’ he said.

The Major League Baseball Players Association said it supports the policy so that players can pursue their careers regardless of their sexual orientations.

“MLBPA embraces diversity and supports a workplace environment that welcomes all regardless of race, religion and sexual orientation,’’ said the union’s executive director, Michael Weiner. |  |

sports

Olympic athletes exempt from Russia’s anti-gay laws

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The Super Joy riders on patrol!

Super Joy Riders stopped at Orlando Fire Department to show some appreciation for all the work the firefighters do.

Optimist Prime (Brendan O’Conner) leads the Joy Riders to Orlando City Hall, to craft love letters to Orlando which were sent to the city.

Captain Sassy Pants (Christie Miga) carefully composes her love letter to Orlando on the steps in front of City Hall.

Stache Lightning (Evan Miga) readies his Space Racer to perform good deeds across Orlando.

Safety Girl (Courtney Miller) educates the Joy Riders on bicycle safety and how to be courteous while on the road.

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