Watermark issue 17.04: Sex

YOUR LGBT LIFE. ISSUE 17.04 | FEB. 18 - MAR. 3, 2010 WATERMARKONLINE.COM

HENRY ROLLINS

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HOT

The sexy punker-pontificator is fired up about LGBT equality.

THE SEX ISSUE: Fantasies and Frustrations From our 2010 Sex Poll Secrets of an Adult Store Manager D AY T O N A B E A C H

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S A R A S O TA

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watermark | preview

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

issue 17.04

4

DOG SEES GOD 28

PG.

Ever wonder what happened when Charles Shultz’s beloved Peanuts characters became teenagers? According to Bert V. Royal’s dark and multilayered projection, there’s anger, angst and more than a little sexual confusion. Erik Caban reviews Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead. Go see it at the Breakthrough Theater of Winter Park.

6 | Orlando News

Ex-punker Henry Rollins is sexy (and knows it).

He’s also one of our most outspoken straight allies. He brings his talking show to Clearwater and Orlando later this month. As a preview, he spoke with our Stephen Miller.

A loveless marriage is an act of protest; Watermark and Mark Baker are back as Gay Days Weekend producers.

10 / SARASOTA NEWS

ORLANDO NEWS

6

8 | Tampa Bay News

11 / STATE NEWS

Going Straight Ministries opens outlet in St. Pete; Maitre d' for a night? ASAP seeks ambassadors for its Dining Out For Life fundraiser.

13 / TAMPA BAY MARKETPLACE

12 | Nation/World News The judge in the case determining the constitutionality of California’s Prop 8 is reportedly gay—and religious groups are

8

16 / ORLANDO MARKETPLACE 20 / MAIL

seeking his removal.

27 / FILM REVIEWS

TAMPA NEWS

15 | Online/Offline Web editor Jamie Hyman tells you how to look at porn while you’re at work.

32 / EVENT PLANNER 34 / TAMPA BAY OUT & ABOUT 36 / ORLANDO OUT & ABOUT

SEX POLL

39

23 | Abundant Blessings Rev. Phyllis Hunt weighs in on the historical validity of the Bible as a sex guide.

39 | 2010 Sex Poll Hundreds of you took our annual Sex Poll, and this year you were unusually candid about your aspirations and frustrations. (If there’s a

54

problem, it’s your partner’s fault.) We asked what you think, what you do, where you want it and what you put there. And you told! You’ll

GALLERY W

learn… and you’ll laugh, we promise.

48 / TRANSITIONS 49 / ADVICE 50 / CLASSIFIEDS 51 / SPORTS 52 / GOSSIP 54 / GALLERY W

watermark | preview

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

5

editor’sdesk I

be discussed. The only information I had about gay sex was in religious missed the talk about the birds and the bees. My father never sat me literature found in my parents’ home that explained the latest boycott. down to explain what was happening to my body as I entered puberty, My views have changed, and my outlook on sex has matured. I still think and my mother never told me where babies come from. In fact, the first sex is a private matter, but as long as it is consensual, between adults, and time I heard about sex or even realized that boys and girls had different plumbing was when my 12-year-old sister explained—rather crudely—how safe, it should be enjoyed.

Watermark’s annual Sex Issue is full of information about the way local “boy parts” and “girl parts” fit together.

LGBT’s experience sex, and reasons why we should celebrate this most I can picture it clearly. I was eight years old and my sister and I were intimate form of human connection and expression. You can’t talk about in the back seat of my parents’ car while we waited for them to wrap up a sex without using words to describe the parts, or the rare evening grocery store run. Out of the blue, she acts—conventional and unconventional. For some, asked me if I knew anything about sex. I admitted this issue may seem a little raunchy, but we hope most that I did not, so she showed me. She extended the of you will find it both educational and entertaining. index finger of her right hand, made a circle with I knew I liked his Who knew there were so many different fetishes the thumb and forefinger of her left, and proceeded plumbing, but I out there? And I was surprised to learn the many to demonstrate. different ways that technology has changed the way Looking back it’s obvious that she had just continued to act that all of us engage in sex. learned about sex herself and was eager to share. interested in several “Do you get it?” she asked me.

Every year I have my best girlfriend back in Of course I said that I did, even though I had different girls.

Missouri hop online and take our survey. I wait no clue what she was doing. Fortunately, before patiently on the telephone, not because I want to her quiz could continue, Mom and Dad returned know what she and her husband do in the bedroom, and dropped the groceries in the trunk. The but because her reactions to the questions are more enlightening than the conversation shifted to dinner plans and schoolwork. survey itself.

When I was in junior high and high school, I dated girls. I knew I She wasn’t familiar with the term "barebacking," or at least a dozen was gay, and I even had a close male friend who helped me explore my other nouns and verbs mentioned throughout. We laughed so hard we forgot still-budding desires. I knew I liked his plumbing, but I continued to which questions she’d answered. act interested in different girls to keep up appearances and to try to be Sex is still an uncomfortable topic for too many people, even within our “normal.” I never really understood how babies are made until health own community. It is a part of life; nothing more, nothing less. If you’re not class—and it grossed me out. enjoying it—and amused by it—you’re missing something. Watermark’s At home I was taught—indirectly—that sex was something of which Sex Issue offers information, and more than few laughs, about a topic that we should be ashamed. It was something reserved for dark rooms, behind remains clouded by misinformation. Enjoy. | l | closed doors and drawn curtains. It was "perverted" subject, never to

Steve Blanchard EDITOR

SteveB@WatermarkOnline.com

watermark

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YOUR LGBT LIFE.

YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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YOUR LGBT LIFE.

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RUPAUL DISHES ON SEASON 2 OF HER DRAG RACE

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USF Queer Theory class draws fire

Orlando TSA accused of gay discrimination

love in the digital age Focus on

Love Readers’ tales of finding love Valentine greetings An atypical hunt for a beau

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watermark | orlando news

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

extrAordinAry job opportunity

Media and friends packed into the Clerk of the Court’s office to watch Brian Feldman (in suit facing right) marry Hannah Miller (facing left). | Photo by Jake Stevens.

Strangers marry because LGBTs can’t amie hyman

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Orlando | Usually, when an officiant pronounces a new couple husband and wife, the declaration is greeted by joyful cheers, applause, bells or organ music. When Hannah Miller married Brian Feldman at the Orange County Courthouse on Feb. 12, a few people clapped weakly but everyone else stared in awkward silence before Miller stated the obvious: this was not a happy occasion.

“It’s terrible that we could do this and they couldn’t,” she said, gesturing to a loving lesbian couple who were denied a marriage license by an employee of the Clerk of the Court just moments before Miller and Feldman, two deliberate strangers, were wed.

Earlier this month, Feldman, an Orlando performance artist, announced his intention to marry any stranger who would have him.

His purpose was to highlight Florida law that allows a man and a woman to marry—even if they have never met—while committed gay couples cannot legally do so.

Feldman’s ploy garnered media attention, and on Feb. 8 he showed up at the courthouse to see whether any women would take him up on his offer. Four did, and they played spinthe-bottle to see who would be Feldman’s wife.

It pointed to Miller, and the two introduced themselves and immediately went to apply for a marriage license. Florida law requires a 3day waiting period, so their wedding date was set for Feb. 12.

In contrast, Nicki Drumb and Rachel Gardiner have been in a committed relationship since 2005. On that same day just before 3 p.m., they approached the Clerk’s counter and asked for a license. As if choreographed, the employee on duty was replaced by a supervisor who told them that Florida law will not allow them to receive a marriage license. Gardiner asked about domestic partnerships or civil unions. She was denied both requests.

“I’ll be back,” Gardiner said before turning away from the counter.

Before Miller and Feldman’s wedding,

Drumb presented Feldman with a wedding band she had made from her own rejected marriage license application. A number of unsuspecting legal couples were wed while gathered friends and media waited for Miller and Feldman. Miller arrived first, wearing a white dress and veil and holding a plastic rainbow bouquet.

For Miller, as well as those gathered to support her, it was an occasion where emotions were topsy-turvy. Friends complimented her appearance. Miller frowned.

“I would feel better if people were shaming me. This is a disgusting thing I have to do,” she said. “I mean, not because of Brian, he’s a nice guy.”

Then Miller described arriving at the courthouse as someone shouted, “Who’s the lucky guy?” She shouted back, “I don’t know!”

Feldman arrived about 20 minutes late, blaming the rainy weather. When the officiant called their names, about three dozen spectators packed into the tiny room to watch the proceedings. Gay activist Logan Donahoo gave Miller away.

“We had the pleasure of being friends in high school and now, since I can’t marry a nice Jewish man, I’m honored to give her away to one,” Donahoo said.

The officiant read a quick, standard ceremony explaining the laws and responsibilities of marriage in Florida while Miller and Feldman responded to her prompts awkwardly. When she pronounced them husband and wife, they shook hands.

“I don’t know what to say,” said Miller.

“It’s done,” replied Feldman.

Feldman then turned to Drumb and Gardiner and said, “It should be you guys.”

Miller tossed them the bouquet, and a smiling Gardiner caught it then cheerfully declared, “We’re next!”

Feldman is asking that in lieu of wedding gifts, donations be made to Equality Florida at eqfl.org. | l |

watermark | orlando news

Watermark, Baker return to 20th Gay Days Weekend stephen miller Orlando | Last year, several nighttime events scheduled during Gay Days Weekend were mired in confusion, lawsuits and shifting venues. The result was diminished attendance and a cloud over at least some aspects of the annual event-filled gathering that attracts more than 100,000 to Orlando and its attractions during the first week of June.

But this year the originators of some of the weekend’s biggest events are returning to what remains the largest annual gathering of gays and lesbians on the continent.

“I think we all see this as a chance to reset these events and get them back on track,” said promoter Mark Baker.

The respected party producer created several Gay Days Weekend parties in the late 90s and early 00s, including groundbreaking events at Hard Rock Live and Universal Studios. In 2010, Baker will produce major parties at the House of Blues on Thursday and Hard Rock Live on Sunday, as well as late night parties at Arabian Nights throughout the weekend.

Baker will also provide production support for Stratosphere, a Saturday night dance party at Universal Studios Florida sponsored by Watermark Media.

Stratosphere is the first Watermarkproduced Gay Days Weekend event since Beach Ball, which the newspaper originated in 1997 and then sold in 2002.

Chris Alexander-Manley and Tommy Manley have promoted Gay Days from the start, first in conjunction with The Center and then with their multifaceted GayDayS. com company. For the last 15 years, they’ve witnessed steady growth in hotel bookings, their sold-out business expos, and a number of related and popular events.

According to Alexander-Manley, the damage last year was limited to promoter Johnny Chisholm’s events. “Even with the slow down in the economy, last year was a great year,” he said.

GayDayS.com is planning their most ambitious lineup to date in 2010. They’ve moved their host hotel, pool parties and expo to the huge Doubletree Resort on International Drive, and booked comedians Alex Mapa, Vickie Shaw and Michele Balin as featured performers. And with a unifying theme of ‘Heroes,’ they plan to facilitate events that will benefit numerous worthy causes.

Sometimes lost in the shuffle is the original Saturday afternoon event that started everything back in 1990—Gay Day at the Magic Kingdom—and still attracts as many as 50,000 red-shirted LGBTs to Walt Disney World on the first Saturday

in June.

“The official Gay Days has always continued to grow and provide a diversity of events,” said Alexander-Manly. “Some of the outside promoters who’ve organized circuit events have ebbed and flowed.

We’re ecstatic to see Watermark get reinvolved at the 20th anniversary.”

In 1997, Watermark and Californiabased promoter Jeffrey Sanker created the first-ever theme park-based nighttime parties held in conjunction with what was then simply called ‘Gay Day.’ Watermark’s Beach Ball was Friday night at Typhoon Lagoon, and Sanker’s One Mighty Party was Saturday at Disney/ MGM Studios. Both attracted larger-thanexpected crowds the first year and grew exponentially afterward, helping turn Gay Days Weekend into both a daytime and nighttime phenomenon.

Baker followed with his Sunday night Coliseum parties at Hard Rock Live.

Wither her Girls in Wonderland events, Alison Burgos also expanded weekend nightlight to an important new audience.

After Watermark left the field, Baker was the principal nighttime party producer during Gay Days Weekend until he ceded his events to New Orleans-based Johnny Chisholm in 2006. Chisholm also drew large crowds until last year, when allegations of unpaid bills forced lastminute venue changes that drastically reduced attendance. Only Lets Go Play, produced out of Fort Lauderdale and designed to fill the resulting vacuum at Typhoon Lagoon, was successful.

“I think what we created in the late 90s was unique—a world-class event,” says Baker. “The perception of that has kind of gone downhill a little bit.”

Baker will provide technical and production assistance for Watermark’s Saturday night Stratosphere party.

The Universal Studios Florida venue is the huge Music Plaza, with the new Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit rollercoaster providing background thrills. The coaster and three other rides will be available to guests, and the party will stretch over several blocks at the attraction. Tickets are $75, and proceeds will benefit the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

“I’m really glad we’re doing this,” said Watermark publisher Tom Dyer.

“The last couple years have been rough on everybody. It’s the perfect time to loosen up for a big, spectacular party.

We’re hoping that locals will want to be there, and that they’ll feel a sense of ownership of the event and the weekend.

It’s something that can’t be experienced anywhere else in the world.”

Baker also hopes to recapture the energy of past Gay Days Weekend

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

nighttime events.

“I love the over-the-top stuff, but that’s also what made ticket prices creep up to $95 last year,” he said. “By peeling it back but keeping the hardcore impact items, it’ll be a party everyone wants to attend and more people can afford.”

All Gay Days Weekend event producers have a common goal: to fuel the future viability of an annual event that generates millions in local revenue and keeps Orlando on the worldwide LGBT radar.

“We want people who travel here to say, ‘This is an amazing weekend. This is something I want to do every year. This is a great way to spend part of my travel budget,'” Baker said.

For more information, visit MarkBakerEvents.com, GayDayS.com, and GirlsInWonderland.com. | l |

7

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| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

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Going Straight Ministries recently opened a branch in the LGBT friendly neighborhood of Kenwood in St. Petersburg.

Photo courtesy Kris Doubles

Going Straight Ministries opens in St. Pete steve blanchard St. Petersburg | A new ministry has opened its doors near the heart of St. Petersburg’s gay-friendly Kenwood Neighborhood.

Going Straight Ministries on Fifth Avenue North near 34th Street is only a few blocks from the LGBT-affirming King of Peace Metropolitan Community Church, as well as the headquarters for gay-supportive Metro Charities, popular night spot Georgie’s Alibi, and the step-off site for the annual St. Pete Pride Promenade.

The organization is part of the national Going Straight Ministries organization, which believes that the country has lost touch with the biblical principals on which it was founded.

“Now, sadly, this once great nation has lost its way,” reads the web site GoingStraightMinistries.com. “In America recently, we have seen things taking place that only a few decades ago were

considered unspeakable to say the least.”

While the national web site doesn’t directly mention homosexuality as one of the “evils” plaguing America, the local branch in St. Petersburg does. In front of its small building on 5th Avenue North, the church’s sign reads: “Jesus will never bend his knee to the false god of homosexuality.”

A phone call to the church went unreturned as of press time. It is unclear whether the church is targeting St. Petersburg directly because the state’s largest LGBT Pride celebration is held in the city. Also unclear is why the local church refers to homosexuality as a “false god.” According to its web site, the church believes corrupt people are in power in the United States, and that an “unsuspecting populace” is getting tricked into believing “evil is good and good is evil.”

“We have grown to accept things that are grossly, dangerously evil as normal,” the site says. | l |

Byrd elected LGBT Bar president staff report Palm Harbor | Tampa Bay-based attorney Kim Byrd was elected president of the National LGBT Bar Association in January.

The owner of Byrd Legal Counsel works primarily out of Tampa Bay, but he is also licensed to practice law in New York

and New Jersey. Byrd focuses mostly on the traditional and alternative family law, estate planning and criminal defense. He is a member of the Central Florida Gay and Lesbian Law Association and a cooperating attorney with the National Center for Lesbian Rights and Lambda Legal.

Byrd and his partner, Brian Winfield, live in Palm Harbor. | l |

watermark | tampa bay news

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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Restaurants, ambassadors needed for Dining Out for Life 2010 steve blanchard St. Petersburg | The AIDS Service Association of Pinellas (ASAP) once again is promoting its annual Dining Out for Life fundraising event. This year, restaurants throughout Tampa Bay will donate proceeds raised during meals served on Thursday, April 29. ASAP Marketing Coordinator Anthony Barros hopes to see even more restaurants participating than in previous years.

“It’s a fun night for a good cause and it actually boosts business for restaurants,” Barros said.

Dining Out For Life is a nationwide AIDS services fundraiser that began in 1991 in Philadelphia. Five years ago, organizers of DOFL contacted Barros after learning about the expanding St. Petersburg AIDS Walk.

“I was honored they thought of Tampa Bay,” said Barros, who coordinates the St. Petersburg AIDS Walk each year.

“You have to be invited to participate in DOFL, and we’re just one of 50 cities that participates. They look for outstanding agencies that are stable and can be involved in the long term.”

Locally, Dining Out For Life stretches beyond St. Petersburg. Barros said that restaurants in both Pinellas and Hillsborough counties are on board again this year.

“We’re still in the asking process for this year, but we want to raise awareness,” he said. “April will be here before we know it.”

The way Dining Out For Life works is simple, according to Barros. Participating

restaurants agree to give 25% of each bill back to ASAP. The organization then uses the money to provide co-payment assistance, food and other support services for its clients infected with HIV/AIDS. Currently, ASAP serves more than 600 people. They recently opened a satellite office at the Flamingo Resort.

“We’re all struggling in this economy,” Barros said. “So this is a great way to give to charity by doing something you’d be doing anyway—eating. Everyone has to eat and everyone enjoys a night out at a restaurant.”

Barros hopes that more than 75 restaurants will join in this year’s fundraising efforts. But it takes more than just restaurants to make Dining Out For Life work. According to Barros, the April 29 event needs ambassadors to make sure people plan to dine out that night.

Ambassadors are usually well-connected people in the community, who then serve as hosts at the restaurant throughout the day and evening.

“They can sign up for breakfast, lunch or dinner—or all three,” Barros said. “People and groups are encouraged to be our ambassadors and to invite everyone they know to dine at their particular restaurant that day. The more people they bring out, the more money we raise.”

Interested ambassadors for Dining Out For Life should contact Pedro Donato at 727-328-5518 to choose from a long list of participating restaurants. Restaurants should contact Barros at 727-328-3268. For more information, visit ASAPServices.org or DiningOutForLife.com. | l |

Flamingo to host Tampa Bay leather contest staff report St. Petersburg | The Tampa Bay Leather Club will hold its 2010 Tampa Bay Sir and Leather Boy contest on Feb. 26 and 27 at The Flamingo Resort. It will be the first contest of its kind at the new St. Petersburg LGBT destination.

The contest begins with a meet-andgreet cocktail party on Friday, Feb. 26, at 9 p.m. The opening night party is open to the public, but contestant interviews on Saturday are private.

The public portion of the contest begins on Saturday at 8 p.m. inside the resort’s Blu Room. Contest directors are Daddy

Jeffrey McWhiter and Boy Woodie Barns.

The emcees will be Sir Tom Maiolo, who is president of the Tampa Leather Club and Mr. Sawmill Leather 2010. The judging panel will consist of current and former leather title holders.

The Tampa Leather Club is a non-profit fraternal leatherman’s organization which promotes awareness, education and charitable fundraising activities. Most of the contributions collected by the organization are donated to the Francis House of Tampa Bay. For more information on the contest, visit TampaLeatherClub.org. | l |

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Holocaust discussion focuses on gays staff report North Port | Sarasota resident and activist Bart Coyle wants to be sure that the persecution of gays during the Holocaust isn’t lost to history. Coyle took part in a forum Feb. 10 to discuss the role of rescuers during the German persecution of minorities.

“Every country has rescuers,” said keynote speaker and Jewish Foundation for the Righteous executive director Stanlee Stahl. “If a Jew survived [the war] it was because they received help from a Christian.

Some Christians simply did not denounce

those in hiding.”

Stahl and other panelists participated in the forum at the North Port Performing Arts Center where attendees gathered from throughout the Sarasota/Manatee county region.

Many students at the forum admitted they had never heard about the Nazi persecution of gays and lesbians. The reason for that is simple, according to Coyle.

“At liberation, their stories were lost because they couldn’t tell them,” he said.

“It was illegal to be a homosexual.” | l |

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staff report Sarasota | A 90-minute musical tribute to Judy Garland will bring out some of the best entertainers in the area to raise money for the Michael Bach Health Center of Manatee and Trinity Charities of Sarasota.

The Players of Sarasota will host Divas Do Garland—in Concert on Monday, Feb. 22. Featured performers will include Sharon Scott, Ann Morrison, Forrest

Richards, Kyle Ennis Turoff, Sharon Lesley, Marilyn Jennings, KT Curran and Blake Walton—all performing signature hits of gay icon Judy Garland. Carolyn Michel and Ben Turoff will emcee.

The production is presented by the Suncoast AIDS Theatre Project, which raises awareness and provides assistance to those living with HIV and AIDS. Doors open at 7 p.m. and $10 tickets are available online at ThePlayers.org. | l |

watermark | state news

ACLU sues over Miami Beach arrest staff report Miami Beach | The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) plans to sue the City of Miami Beach on behalf of a gay man who was arrested after he reported police beating another gay man.

According to the ACLU, Harold Strickland was walking near Flamingo Park in March 2009 when he allegedly saw police officers separate two men who were kissing. Strickland claims he saw police throw one of the men to the ground and kick him repeatedly so he called 911.

Noticing Strickland, the officers reportedly walked over to him, ended the call, and arrested him while using gay slurs to harass him.

Robert Rosenwald, Director of the ACLU of Florida’s LGBT Advocacy Project, says Miami Beach Police have been targeting gay men near Flamingo Park for decades.

“When police officers become the problem rather than the solution, the city needs to take action,” Rosenwald says.

“Strickland fulfilled his civic duty by reporting what he recognized as police misconduct, but as a result he became the subject of verbal abuse and wrongful arrest.”

Ray Taseff, ACLU cooperating attorney, says the lawsuit goes beyond the violation of Strickland’s rights as a gay man.

“All people have a clear constitutional right and a civic duty to report police misconduct,” he said. “When police start

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Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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arresting people for reporting police misconduct, the public’s faith in law enforcement suffers.”

According to the ACLU, the testimony of arresting officers Frankly Forte and Elliot Hazzi conflicts with the tape recording of Strickland’s 911 call, Strickland’s cell phone records, and the officers’ own arrest affidavits. The ACLU is asking Miami Beach to discipline officers Hazzi and Forte for their misconduct and to compensate Strickland for the wrongful arrest. | l |

Gay-friendly Catholic group invites controversy

Equality Florida launches Council of 1000

A former nun has ordained two women priests and one deacon in Sarasota.

The practice is part of a growing and controversial movement claiming to be an offshoot of the Catholic church.

The Roman Catholic ‘womenpriests’ movement was born in 2002 in Europe, where a bishop broke Catholic law and ordained seven women. The ordinations were the first in Florida by the group.

Equality Florida is assembling a team of donors focused on supporting candidates who will fight for the LGBT community. Council of 1000 members have committed to donating $1,000 to those candidates’ campaigns. In return, they will receive analysis of key races across the state, invitations to briefing calls where candidates can be questioned, and invitations to candidate events. To join, visit eqfl.org/1000strong.

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Previously, the Department of Children and Families (DCF) had refused to give the subsidy to Wayne LaRue Smith’s son.

Smith raised the boy in foster care, and a Monroe County judge approved his adoption in fall of 2008. This month, DCF attorneys decided to provide the teenager with the benefits typically enjoyed by other children who are adopted from state care.

In comments to the Miami Herald, the DCF continued to maintain that the settlement does not detract from DCF’s position that a child outside state care is not entitled to a subsidy. | l |

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watermark | nation+world news

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

Religious groups want gay judge removed from Prop. 8 trial wire report San Francisco | After claims by The San Francisco Chronicle that Judge Vaughn Walker is gay, several religious groups are demanding that he recuse himself from presiding over the federal trial for Proposition 8. According to their statements, a homosexual justice constitutes an unacceptable bias in a case that will determine the constitutionality of California’s ban on gay marriage.

“The revelation that Judge Walker apparently chooses to engage in homosexual conduct, if true, would explain much of his bizarre behavior throughout this trial,” says Liberty Counsel Director Matt Barber. He referred to Walker’s decision to broadcast video from the trial online as an example of the “circus-like atmosphere” Walker has created, though that decision was later overturned.

Brian Brown, Director of the National Organization for Marriage, also accuses

Walker of “egregious and damaging” bias.

“We have no idea whether the report is true or not,” Brown says. “But we do know Judge Walker has been an amazingly biased and one-sided force Judge Vaughn Walker throughout this is presiding over the trial, far more akin federal trial to determine the constitutionality of to an activist than a California’s Prop. 8. | AP photo. neutral referee.”

The Chronicle, meanwhile, has argued that Walker should be allowed to stay on the bench during the trial.

The editorials point out that two dozen House Democrats, led by Rep. Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco, opposed his nomination because of his alleged “insensitivity” to gays and the poor. | l |

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Advocates say the ruling could potentially affect thousands of people a year in the U.S. who undergo similar operations.

Fox elected first openly gay R.I. House speaker Rep. Gordon Fox has became the first openly gay lawmaker elected to lead the Rhode Island House of Representatives, arguably the state’s most powerful political post. In 2004, Fox surprised colleagues when he unexpectedly revealed he was gay during a rally supporting gay marriage. Rhode Island is the only New England state besides Maine that does not recognize same-sex marriage.

Gay military advocate reports for drill duty Academic Alliance In Dermatology 4238 W. Kennedy Blvd. Tampa, Florida 33609 | (813)879.6040

Lt. Dan Choi took time off from gay rights work for infantry training with the Army National Guard. Choi was scheduled to appear at a National Gay and Lesbian Task Force conference, but reported for training

with his Guard unit instead. A National Guard committee recommended in June that Choi be discharged under the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. He remains in the Guard while awaiting a final decision. The Iraq veteran and West Point graduate says his commander urged him to return to monthly drills.

Ruling sought in Arkansas adoption ban Opponents and supporters of an Arkansas law banning unmarried couples from fostering or adopting children are asking a judge for a ruling on the prohibition. Both the American Civil Liberties Union and the Arkansas Family Council have filed motions on the issue. The ACLU sued the state on behalf of a group of families seeking to overturn the ban, calling it unconstitutional. Voters approved the measure in 2008 after the state Supreme Court ruled gays could be foster parents.

Iowa lawmakers fail in effort on gay marriage ban Republicans have failed in their effort to start the process of amending the Iowa Constitution to ban gay marriage— meaning it will likely be 2014 at the earliest before voters could decide on the issue.

“There are a lot of folks out there who say they support traditional marriage,” said House Minority Leader Kraig Paulsen, R-Hiawatha. Democrats, who hold majorities in both chambers, responded that lawmakers have their hands full with budget problems and don’t have time for a gay marriage debate.

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watermark | viewpoint

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

Been there, done that.

Haven’t yet, but right people, right time? I’d do it.

58%

No way. In theory it’s hot but emotions always get in the way.

No way. It’s not something that turns me on.

16% 15%

11%

At WAtermArkOnline.cOm, We Asked yOu:

What's your stance on threesomes?

A new poll will be posted to the homepage this week. Be sure to visit WatermarkOnline.com and let us know what YOU think!

top web comments On story about Orlando strangers marrying in the name of marriage equality: “Hannah and Brian - You are an inspiration to those of us who sit around thinking about how unfair this situation is and don’t do anything about it. I sincerely hope your actions shine a bring light on absurdity of discrimination and inequality in our nation. We are ALL EQUAL!” —miriphoto “I love this statement. To me it is the ultimate protest: peaceful, yet powerful.

Brian Feldman is one of the people making life in Orlando more interesting.

We’re lucky to have him...especially as a straight ally to our community.”

—CampScottie On Scottie Campbell’s blog post about giving during tough financial times: “Having served on the Board for the Arts Alliance for the past seven years or so, I feel your pain and LOVE the way you stated this!!”

—chiguy2500 Don’t be left out of the community conversation!

Head over to WatermarkOnline.com, register and start telling us what YOU think!

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mail Why I got married

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We’re doing it for love... just not ours.

I believe in marriage.

I believe that marriage is a public way to declare the very personal commitment that two people make to one another; to proclaim that their hearts are so incomplete without the other that they must legally bind their property and lives to ensure the union’s safety.

I believe that denying same-sex couples the same 1,000-plus rights given to couples of opposing genders that choose to marry is tantamount to declaring that LGBT relationships are not valid—or, at the very least, not as valid as heterosexual relationships.

I believe that marriage equality ensures the health and happiness not only of same-sex partners, but also their families.

I believe that the denial of marriage rights to LGBT individuals is a denial of the elemental protections the State and Federal government should provide to all individuals, regardless of race, gender, religion, or any other arbitrary defining factor, like sexual orientation.

I am marrying Brian Feldman, a man I don’t love, because I believe. I hope you believe too. (See story, p. 6.)

Hannah Miller Orlando

I’m infuriated by the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida’s condemnation of a lesbian bishop and affirmation of their commitment that marriage must involve opposite sexes. (“Episcopal Diocese passes anti-gay measures,” Issue 17.03.) My church has made enormous strides in embracing gays and lesbians, and it disgusts me that I’m excluded because I live in a Diocese so conservative that it has considered affiliating with African churches. Spare me.

Name Withheld Orlando

Cringe-inducing memories Steve Blanchard’s editor’s column (Issue 17.03) brought back many memories for me. I, too, tried to play it straight in high school and college. I remember many passionless gropes and kisses; and worse yet was the feigned passion. It still makes me cringe when I think back, and so unfair to the wonderful girls I dated.

D. McCarthy Palm Harbor

Who cares about Caton?

Why even mention David Caton? (“Florida Family Association rallies against ‘Queer Theory,’” Issue 17.03). He’s an idiot, and he lives for the publicity. Like Voldemort, Watermark and the local Tampa Bay press keep him alive.

S. Berlow Tampa

Diatribe against doctors The problem with health care in America is this: American doctors are practicing astronomical, unjustified, uncontrollable greed. The answer is this: American doctors repent!

The problem is this: They couldn’t care less, and continue to grow worse. The answer is this: low cost government price controls on all medical procedures.

If we do not control their godless greed, doctors who have bankrupted us as individuals will now be allowed to bankrupt us as a society.

Healthcare for all in America: great! At astronomical, unjustified, uncontrollable prices to all taxpayers: godless!

T. Anthony Davenport

Send all correspondence to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com. Letters may be edited for space or clarity. Opinions expressed in reader mail do not reflect those of Watermark’s staff.

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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watermark | viewpoint

ABUNDANT

blessings

directives about sex within the Christian church for centuries.

Throughout history, religions, governments, cultures and even families have created rules regarding the practice of sex; often with severe punishments— public and private—if the rules were violated. The basis most often used for these rules has been the Bible.

Ancient Greco-Roman culture sanctioned various sexual behaviors, but this had more to do with status than gender. Approved sex was between two people of unequal power, one dominant Sex, the Bible, and one submissive, and these roles could not be reversed. These roles were not and you determined by personal preference. The status of your birth family determined Rev. Phyllis Hunt your status for life, even in the bedroom.

Free men could have sex with those in Pastor@MCCTampa.com servile positions, but they could not have sex with each other because they were of equal status. If they did, the shift in power and position would reduce one to the female role, thus rendering the sexual encounter an ‘abomination’ punishable by death.

These rules, handed down from the antiquity, are the framework for sexual references in the Bible, and they cannot be accurately understood outside this context. The best analogy I can offer is way we give directions. We use numbers, street names, landmarks and directions to guide others to a specific location. We do not say, “When you come to a stop sign, stop completely, and if there is no traffic you may proceed.” These details he headline in the February 15, are unnecessary because they are inferred 2008 St. Petersburg Times said it all: “God Wants You to Have Sex.” from universally accepted rules of the road.

The story was about a local church that The same was true when it came to sex invited its married members to make a in the antiquity. We misinterpret sexual commitment to have sex every day for 30 references in the time of the Bible without days and journal their experience. Those knowledge of the context—the rules of the not married were asked to abstain from road. Further complicating understanding any promiscuous sex for the same period is the fact that there are no original of time. autographed books of the Bible. The The focus scriptures are thus on married interpretations that couples was not have been translated explicitly limited Make a plan to have many times, to heterosexual applied to disparate respectful sex, full of couples, but the cultures using vastly article made clear integrity as you define different languages. that the church Most of us are it, for the next 30 days. had not included not taught how to same-gender loving read the Bible. We couples. The point read it literally, and of the experiment not as people lived when it was written. was to reinforce the idea that God created We impose our morals, values and purity sex, and sex is a good thing if you are codes on their stories. And that is how a married to someone of the opposite church in St. Petersburg can encourage gender. some of their congregation to go and The challenge the church made to have great sex, while at the same time its members created a new way to talk admonishing other groups to abstain. The about sex, but the privileged limitations Christian church has a long history of remained the same: man and woman, extrapolating chapters and verses of the always inside marriage. Interestingly, Bible to keep certain people at the margins there was no mention of procreation as in deference to those chosen for privilege. a reason underlying the call to sex, even One of the greatest gifts the though this rationale has dominated

T

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

LGTBIQ communities offer the world is the importance of embracing sexual orientation and gender identity as essential to a balanced sexuality. By ignoring the truth of homosexuality, the Christian church avoids dealing with the complexity of human experience.

If religious institutions would dedicate themselves to addressing human sexuality from a place of original blessing instead of original sin, sex acts would no longer be the focus. If sexual enjoyment was taught emphasizing respect and integrity, there would be no need for purity codes designed to control and create shame and guilt. The vast energy and resources spent on issues of sexuality could be channeled

23

into making the world a better place to live together.

We know that the physiology of human beings is designed for sexual pleasure, so I offer you this challenge: Make a plan to have respectful sex, full of integrity as you define it, for the next 30 days, and then journal your experience. See what you learn, and then make it have meaning in the world you touch. | l | Rev. Phyllis Hunt is the senior pastor at Tampa Metropolitan Community Church.

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Smart, sexy AND

STRAIGHT

Punk legend Henry Rollins brings his ‘talking show’ to Clearwater and Orlando.

I

n the early 80s, while fronting the hardcore band Black Flag, Henry Rollins often got into fistfights with rowdy audience members. He fully lived the punk lifestyle, barely scraping by, touring everywhere, and lifting weights to build his heavily tattooed body into an impressive physique. Then in 1983 he discovered a latent talent for speaking to audiences. Later, as he founded his legendary Rollins Band, he carved out time to further develop his skills at storytelling.

Through diligence and hard work, Rollins channeled has channeled physical and spiritual rage into an engaging intellectual act. His “talking tours” (as he likes to call them) are full of wry colorful tales of world travel, political observation, angry thoughts on social injustice, self-effacing insights and more than a little offbeat humor. No two shows are the same, but they’re often sprinkled with frustrated sensitivity to the inequality of LGBT experience.

At 49, Rollins is buff, sexy and sharp.

He brings his Frequent Flyer Tour to Clearwater on Mar. 2 and to Orlando on Mar. 4.

WATERMARK: Hey, we’re going to have you on the cover!

HENRY ROLLINS: Damn, cool! I’ll make sure I give extra-large gay answers.

[Laughs] Each year we create three consecutive issues dedicated to love, sex and marriage. Guess which one you landed on?

Sex? Nifty! You should’ve called me during the Reagan era.

You speak around the world, you’re an activist, you’re on the radio, you create documentaries and films you act in films and on TV, you write books, produce music, you record albums, you’ve done seven USO tours, you are an obsessive reader, and you work out regularly. What do you do with all your free time?

Sleep. And besides everything you described I spend a lot of time online.

Kids write me, and if they have a fanzine I’ll always agree to an email interview.

To unwind I try to listen to new music or watch films. But usually I’m a working stiff.

You first became known as lead singer for Black Flag and then the Rollins Band. Somewhere in the midst of that you became a hero to gay people. Can you tell us how that happened?

[Laughs] Well, even back in the Black Flag days we had gay fans. I come from Washington, D.C., which is a very gay city. My mom had gay friends. I had gay bosses. I went to an all-boys’ school, so of course I had gay classmates. So the gay thing was never terrifying to me. I never went, “Ugh, a gay guy!”

In the 80s, a magazine asked me what I thought of gay people, and I honestly said it was not an issue for me. There’s nothing wrong going on there; you were born with your sexual orientation.

Continued on page 30 | uu |

26

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

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watermark | film

screened out Welcome to Gay lent!

stephen miller

Stephen@WatermarkOnline.com

R

ight now, we are in the middle of Gay Lent: that time between nominations and the awarding of the Oscar statues on March 7.

I take this cultural holiday seriously. For Gay Lent 2008, I gave up Pepperidge Farms Sausalito Cookies so that Marion Cotillard could win for the subtitled Edith Piaf biopic, La Vie En Rose.

Last year, I gave up designer soaps so a favorite actress could win for playing a pedophilic ex-employee of Nazi death camps. You’re welcome, Kate Winslet.

This year, most of the winners seem foregone, so I’ve decided to try an unexpected category. I’m abstaining from beer, and you’ll find out why later in this column.

Also, there’s a change.

Last year, Dark Knight didn’t get any love in the Best Picture category and everyone got their bat-suits in a twist. So the Academy has doubled the Best Picture nominations from five to 10 in hopes that the telecast will pull in more television viewers.

It’s a cynical move that’ll probably work.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Nine was boring, so Penelope Cruz won’t repeat.

Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick will split votes for Up in the Air. Maggie Gyllenhaal was quietly amazing in Crazy Heart.

However, Mo’Nique was consummate in her very difficult role in Precious.

She’s won every award so far.

Who Should Win: Mo’Nique Who Will Win: Mo’Nique

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Matt Damon was great in Invictus, but Mo’Nique, a Best Supporting he won’t score. Woody Actress nominee in Precious.

Harrelson gave a beautiful performance in the dinky film, The Messenger.

Christopher Plummer was delightful as Tolstoy in The Last Station, another small film. Stanley Tucci’s creepy neighbor is the only consistently good thing in The Lovely Bones.

I’ve been rooting for the frontrunner since I saw his performance last summer.

Best Supporting Actor Who Should Win: nominee Christoph Waltz in Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds.

Inglorious Basterds Who Will Win: Mr. Waltz

BEST ACTRESS Sandra Bullock is great in The Blind Side; I just wish it hadn’t been so saccharine and unchallenging. I love you Carey Mulligan for your sensitive performance in An Education, and congratulations on Best Actress nominee Cary your well-deserved first Mulligan stars in An Education. nomination. Gabourey Sidibe in Precious and Helen Mirren in The Last Station will be crushed by the Bullock-osaurus. And then there’s poor Meryl Streep— I adore her, she’s brilliant, but I swear every time she passes wind, they hand her another nomination.

Who Should Win: Carey Mulligan Who Will Win: Sandra A Single Man’s Colin Firth is a Best Actor nominee.

Bullock

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

27

director to win an Oscar. But she’s up against her exBEST ACTOR husband, James Cameron, Jeff Bridges has already and his game-changing won the Golden Globe and megahit, Avatar. (Shouldn’t SAG awards for ably playing the billions he’ll make a country music has-been in be enough reward for Crazy Heart. But I’m rooting James?) Lee Daniels: I for the excellent Colin Firth love Precious, but this year in A Single Man. Firth has you’re competing against no chance of winning for 10-foot-tall blue aliens.

Kathryn Bigelow earned his portrayal of a lonely her Best Director nomination Quentin Tarantino should gay college professor, for The Hurt Locker. have held back and used though, especially after the fewer goofy tricks in the Academy gave the Oscar to entertaining Inglorious Basterds. Jason Sean Penn for Milk last year. They Reitman’s directing in Up in the won’t go gay two years in a row.

Air is just a little too pedestrian.

George Clooney has done more Who Should Win: challenging stuff than Up in Kathryn Bigelow the Air. Nelson Mandela is Who Will Win: James a role Morgan Freeman was Cameron meant to play, but Invictus was too much rugby and not enough Mandela. Jeremy Renner is wonderful in my favorite film of the year, The Hurt Locker, but this firsttime nominee won’t win in a year full of heavy hitters.

Who Should Win: Colin Firth Who Will Win: Jeff Bridges

BEST FILM

The list of 10 films includes: Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Avatar is the favorite to win Best Picture.

Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up and Up in the Air. What Should Win: I’d be okay with The Hurt Locker or Avatar.

What Will Win: Avatar—but not for BEST DIRECTOR the story. It’s those stunning visuals and I hope that The Hurt Locker director technical advances that make it cinematic Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first female history. | l |

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watermark | theater

comic strip in three dimensions A gAy PlAyWright from floridA uPdAteS Peanuts, With unexPected reSultS.

erik caban

W

inter Park | Is Peppermint Patty slinging lumber at Home Depot?

Did Sally end up with Linus? Did Charlie Brown ever connect with that football?

Is Lucy now a practicing psychiatrist? Bert V. Royal’s Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead explores the angst-filled teen years of Charles M. Shultz’s beloved Peanuts characters. Spirituality, drugs, suicide, eating disorders, rebellion, pyromania, and homophobia collide in this incisive spoof.

The play returns to Florida for a stint at the Breakthrough Theatre of Winter Park through the end of the month.

“It is such a blessing being able to do this show,” says director Tara Corless. “I’ve been advocating that we bring it to Breakthrough since I saw it at Rollins a few years ago.”

But Corless notes that, despite its comic strip origins, this is a powerful and often overwhelming play. “It’s magical,” she says.

“These characters reflect little bits of all of us.”

Playwright Royal uses symbolism throughout Dog Sees God, creating a captivating and thought-provoking story Corless believes anyone can relate to. Since it debuted in 2004, it has won numerous awards, including the “Excellence Award” for Best Overall Production at the New York International Fringe Festival, Theatermania’s “Best Play” and GLAAD Media’s award for “Best Off-Off Broadway Production.”

Becoming God The play drops the trademarked Peanuts names in favor of easily recognizable aliases, and centers around the character named “C.B.” As played by P.J. Gajda II, he is a boy who has lost his beloved dog and finds himself questioning his faith and identity. Through interactions with his familiar cohorts, the plot develops into a story about insecurity, ignorance, uncertainty, and acceptance.

Don’t be fooled by the loose “wicked comedy” label. These aren’t the onedimensional, Hallmark aisle characters from our childhood.

“Most of the laughs [from the audience] are uncomfortable laughs,” Corless notes.

That’s in part due to passionate performances by actors invested in the postpubescent metamorphoses in store for Charlie, Lucy and pals.

“It literally took me 20 minutes to cast,” Dog Sees God is an unexpected update on characters based on the Peanuts comic strip. | Photo by. Luis Mattei Corless says. “These people were meant for these roles.” anything that may have happened to me as a choreographing a confrontation between Ten years older than comic strip age, teenager. I was homeschooled, so I can’t really Beethoven and homophobic Matt was Linus (Adam Delmedico) has become “Van,” identify with the experience of high school. intense. Actor James worried about how a Buddhist stoner who smoked the burned But I was a teenager, so I certainly have a lot his performance would be received by the remains of his security blanket. Pigpen (Kyle of similarities with all of the characters.” audience.

James) has cleaned up into a violent and Raised in the small Florida town of Green “I’m straight but I am nothing like my homophobic jock with O.C.D. named “Matt.”

Cove Springs, the openly gay writer describes character, Matt,” he says with furrowed brow.

Lucy (Bunny Fitzgerald) is known only himself as “an odd kid.” Coming out in a “I hope I don’t get hate mail or things thrown as “Van’s sister,” and is the lithium-loving sleepy Southern town was a bit of a challenge, at me during the show.” pyromaniac responsible for the demise of but he describes feeling far more repressed Most of the comedic relief is provided Van’s blanket. Despite setbacks, she is the only by the lack of culture and outlets for artistic by the three female leads. “Sally” (Megan disturbed teen with a sense of who she is. expression. He penned Dog Sees God at age Goldman) also struggles with her identity, “Don’t apologize for yourself,” she tells the 27, while living in New York, and working as a and dabbles with nervous C.B. “Enjoy casting director. different religions life. Never stop asking Royal says people generally assume that he ranging from Baptist questions.”

These aren't the to Wiccan. Peppermint identifies most with Beethoven, but that he is C.B. also seeks actually more like the play’s darkest character, Patty and Marcie Hallmark aisle solace from an Matt. have morphed from old acquaintance characters from our “I’m crude, hot-tempered and hypocritical tomboy and spectacled “Beethoven” (T.J. to a fault,” Royal says. “I’m just not a geek into “Tricia” childhood.

Parman). The piano homophobe.”

(Lindsay Pennington) playing youth is now His understanding of very different and quick-witted an artist besieged by characters, affection for the source material, “Marcy”(Megan childhood demons and a growing sense of his and understanding of contemporary social Borkes). The Paris-and-Nicole tartlet duo sexuality. issues allowed Royal to create an unexpected deliver big laughs as scantily clad girls who “I identify a lot with my character,” says modern-day makeover of the iconic American mix vodka with their Snapple, and are not openly gay Parman, whose biggest stretch is cartoon. | l | averse to some three-way action with Matt. playing a teenager at 35. “There wasn’t ‘gay’ . when I was in high-school.”

Seeing God C.B. finally works up the courage to kiss Royal says the play is not autobiographical. and then fall in love with Beethoven. But he “I get letters from people who have What: Dog Sees God: retreats when confronted with the reaction performed it, seen it or directed it, and they all Confessions of Teenage Blockhead of his friends, questioning the truth of his say something about it being similar to their Where: The Breakthrough Theatre feelings. It is a recurring theme for playwright high school experience. I usually just respond of Winter Park, 419A Fairbanks Ave. Royal: Don’t lose yourself in the opinions of with, ‘I’m so sorry to hear that,’” Royal laughs.

When: Through Feb. 28 others. how: breakthroughtheatre.com “There are many different things that led me Corless admits that the show’s serious or 407-920-4034 to write the play, but the least of them was tone challenged the cast. She says that

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Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

| uu | Henry Rollins from p.25

That’s interesting, coming from your musical background.

I’ve heard–quite often, actually–that there is a lot of homophobia in the hard rock world. So that surprised me, because I don’t know if I’ve been around a lot of that, honestly. We’ve always had a lot of gays at our shows, and it was never an issue.

When Bush came into office, the homophobes came out of the woodwork.

Out came the extreme Christian people, and out came the Phelps family with their “God Hates Fags!’ signs. I mean, look at these idiots! And Bush basically gave them the green light by giving hundreds of millions of dollars to faith-based organizations to teach sex ed. It was Bush basically saying, “Don’t worry… I hate the gays, too.” And that permission changed everything.

It reminded me of when I was in school.

There was this gay guy I knew. One teacher would use an effeminate voice when he called his name during roll-call. When the teacher made fun of this guy, it gave everyone in school permission. They’d flush his head down the toilet, and he tried to slash his wrists in his dorm room. He was an upperclassman, so I never really talked to him. But, today, that sort of cruelty just will not stand with me.

The DC punk rock scene was so full of gay people. Maybe they didn’t fit in elsewhere, so they came to punk rock. I

myself was a geek. No one liked me, so punk rock sort of saved me, too.

These days, all of this is on my radar, and I’m very outspoken about it. There’s probably some awareness in the gay community that I am loud on the topic, so they call me a hero.

Homophobia is so idiotic. I mean, you’re gay: Was there any question for you?

No, not really.

Right! When I saw my first Playboy as a kid, I was like, “That’s what I like!” There was nothing I could do about it. Imagine someone coming to me and saying, “Guess what? We got you a boyfriend, and that’s how you’re going to roll now.” I’d say, “Well, no….” Could they turn me around by putting me into this magical summer camp– like we’re in some Twilight Zone episode? Are you freakin’ kidding me?

It’s a funny idea!

Yeah, but it’s also sad. It’s obviously the way you’re born. I don’t know who would be jumping up and down about being gay.

Imagine being born in Montana, and one sunny morning you realize, “OK, this is how it is.” Then imagine having to come out to your Montana dad.

Do you see the nation’s climate changing?

Oh, yes, definitely. I think Proposition 8 in California will eventually be seen for what it is, which is a civil rights issue. I

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can’t see 19 and 20-year-olds with tattoos and earrings hanging out of their mouths raising homophobic kids. It seems to be an older person’s problem, specifically an older Christian’s problem. The only thing in the way of gay rights is ignorance. That’s changing.

come see it!”

You’re often called a “raconteur.”

That’s fine, I’m a storyteller. To some, it’s entertainment, though I see it as more vital than that. But when you refuse to acknowledge that it’s at least part entertainment, then you verge on taking yourself too seriously.

I love it. Not to put the band down, but being without them affords me latitude.

Now I can travel, have an experience, bring it back to the stage, stir-fry it, steam it and serve it. For instance, the other night I was in Dublin. Forty-eight hours before I was in Bamako, Mali. Straight out of Mali, I gave it to the Dublin audience: “Here it is, folks, still breathing.” If you write a song about an experience, the audience may hear it a year later.

So what about the rest of the political landscape? What about Barack Obama?

He’s not doing what I voted for. I think he’s great, but he’s got to stand up to the Right. ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ should’ve been gone on day one. He should’ve walked into the Oval Office and said, “Good morning, my name is Barack Obama, and we’re repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’

Now, can someone bring me a cup of coffee?

He should’ve come to town like the new sheriff and said, “Here’s how I roll.” Instead he shook a bunch of hands and came back Coming from a humble background, did with bloody finger stumps from people who you ever think your life would be like this? are never going to like him or agree with Hell no! As a musician I assumed I’d be him. in debt forever, and I was fine with it. So it’s I don’t want to be in Afghanistan better then I ever imagined. Some say that anymore. I don’t want to be in Iraq. These when you get some money you get lazy. For people have fought off every invader or me it’s had the opposite effect, because I occupier since before Christ, so we’re just can come up with a giving them target really good idea and practice. There’s actualize it. no upside to these I’ve been very wars—not one— “The only thing in fortunate, I know –and it was all so the way of gay rights that. So I try to make avoidable. good by telling I also don’t think is ignorance. That’s good stories, selling Obama’s gone far changing.” cheap tickets, and enough with the keeping merchandise stimulus. I think he —Henry rollins affordable. I’m could very well be a not after anyone’s four-year president, money; I’m after and it’ll be his own longevity. I want to be doing this in ten fault. I want all Americans to have health care. I don’t want some guy to lose his house years. I want to be George Carlin—grey and in demand. because his wife gets breast cancer. People like to say America has the best health care When I told people I was interviewing anywhere, and I say, “Yeah, if you can get you, both gay and straight people it.” mentioned how hot you are. How does it feel to be a sex symbol at 49?

I never quite understood that—how the At my age, you have to wrap it up and put poorest people in America get in bed with it under the tree. Gay guys have been telling big corporations and call it Christianity.

Because you can take someone who might me I look good since I was 16. It’s very nice.

I’ve never had a problem hearing that. | l | not be the brightest bulb on the tree and, if they’re angry, you can direct it. A mad person is very malleable, very emotionally available. In this country, insurance companies have gotten poor Midwesterners who desperately need health care to rant What: spoken Word Artist Henry rollins Where: ruth eckerd Hall in Clearwater against their own best interests. It’d be funny and House of Blues in orlando if it weren’t so tragic. They can call me a When: March 2 (r.e.H.) Socialist or whatever they want; I still think and March 4 (H.o.B.) they need health care.

see+hear

Is this some of the political stuff that ends up in your spoken word show?

‘Spoken word’ sounds boring, like some kumbaya thing. It’s not really stand-up, because it’s not always funny. I call it a ‘talking show.’ When I started in the 80s people called it “spoken word” and I thought, “Oh no, I’m screwed. No one is going to

How: Visit rutheckerdHall.com and HouseofBlues.com for show times and ticketing information.

START HERE. Go to WatermarkOnline.com to see the un-cut interview with Henry Rollins

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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watermark | event planner

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

Fernando Botero

Indigo Girls Amy Ray (left) and Emily Saliers are the iconic Indigo Girls.

Their upcoming Feb. 27 concert at Orlando’s House of Blues is sure to sell out.

The world-acclaimed artist’s “Smoking Woman” is one of the spectacular sculptures currently on display outside the Museum of Fine Arts in St. Petersburg.

Wicked If you’ve never seen the Broadway sensation— or want to see it for the 10th time—you have an “emerald” opportunity throughout February at the Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa.

art [ORLANDO] Bobby Goldsboro

Recording artist Bobby Goldsboro shows off a different medium as he displays his oil paintings at the Gallery at Avalon Island. The opening reception is from 6 – 9 p.m. on Feb. 18 and it’s a free, open event. The exhibit will continue through March 10.

[ST. PETERSBURG] The Baroque World of Fernando Botero

Colombian artist Fernando Botero is one of the world’s most popular artists and an advocate for social equality. His monumental bronzes have appeared in New York, Paris and Washington, D.C. Now his Baroque World of Fernando Botero is on display at the Museum of Fine Arts. Three large sculptures sit outside and dozens more can be found inside through April 4. For more information visit Fine-Arts.org or call 727-896-2667.

comedy [ORLANDO] Mo’ Laughs Comedy Showcase

Tuck into a burger and get ready for some laughs at Hamburger Mary’s on Feb. 18, when the Mo’ Laughs Comedy Showcase returns. Jeff Jones hosts the night of standup comedy featuring Chris Eastwood, Heather Leonardi, Tim Murphy and Darren Moore.

Show starts at 8:30 p.m. and reservations are suggested. Call 321-319-0600

film [MAITLAND] Enzian Pre-Oscars Discussion

The Enzian Movie Club is hosting a preOscars talk on Feb. 25, where movie fans

can voice predictions on big wins and bigger upsets. The discussion kicks off at 7 p.m. in the Eden Bar. This is a free and open event.

Visit Enzian.org for more info.

music [MELBOURNE] Gladys Knight

The King Center for Performing Arts is getting an injection of soul on Feb. 18, when Gladys Knight takes the stage with her special brand of R&B. Tickets range from $50 - $80 at ticketmaster.com. Show starts at 8 p.m.

[ORLANDO] Indigo Girls

The harmonic duo brings their sing-along acoustic music back to Orlando, supporting their first independent release, Poseidon and the Bitter Bug. You’ll be standing, singing, and swaying along with all the other Sapphic songstresses of Central Florida when the girls take the stage of House of Blues on Saturday, Feb. 27. For tickets and more information visit HouseOfBlues.com.

Uncut Cabaret

The Orlando Gay Chorus shows off their naughty side on Feb. 18 at the Parliament House, where they’ll perform the songs they don’t dare sing anywhere else. Tickets are $15 at Wanzie.com. Show starts at 8 p.m. at the Footlight Theatre.

theater [CLEARWATER] A Chorus Line

The musical hit A Chorus Line tells the story of hungry artists hoping for a shot in a big production—and the story of one gay cast member’s struggles is especially moving. The long-running hit arrives at Ruth Eckerd Hall Feb. 18-12 and is sure to have audiences cheering for one more “singular sensation.” For tickets and information, visit RuthEckerdHall.com or call 727-791-7400.

Dragapalooza

Meagan Towers, Monique Love, Faith Taylor, Marissa, Teddy D. and special guests will perform at Dragapalooza, benefiting the American Cancer Society. They’ll take the stage at Bliss Cabaret at 8 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 21. The $10 ticket includes admission plus an entry into the cash and liquor basket raffle. For tickets or more information call Monique Love at 727-278-9132.

[LAKELAND] 100 Years of Broadway

The Lakeland Center will take fans of staged musicals down memory lane when it presents Neil Berg’s 100 Years of Broadway on Tuesday, March 2. The musical revue of Broadway’s most celebrated shows features a dazzling cast of five Broadway stars. For more information and tickets, visit TheLakelandCenter.com or call 863-834-8100.

[MELBOURNE] The Wizard of Oz

For one night only, Dorothy (and all the reasons that Wicked exists) will make a stop at the King Center for the Performing Arts in Melbourne. The Wizard of Oz will take the stage at 7:30 p.m. on Mar. 1. Ticket prices range from $24 - $54.50 at ticketmaster.com.

[TAMPA] Wicked

Gays have flocked to see and support Elphaba in the Tony Award-winning musical Wicked, which returns to the Straz Center for the Performing Arts all month long. The back story of the Witches of Oz tells a story of struggle and acceptance, and its music is routinely featured on the uber-gay Fox hit series Glee. For tickets and information visit TBPAC.org or call 813-229-7827.

[WINTER PARK] Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead

through Feb. 28. Curtain time is at 8 p.m. on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and 3 p.m. on Sundays. Tana Corless directs. Tickets and more info at www.breakthroughtheatre. com.

special events [DAYTONA] Chit, Chat & Chew

Talk about what matters most to people living with HIV/AIDS in Volusia and Flagler Counties at Flavors Restaurant on Feb. 23.

The discussion runs from 3 – 4 p.m. at 137 W. International Speedway Blvd.

[ORLANDO] HRC Connect

February’s HRC Connect is in the Flamenco Room at Ceviche Tapas Bar on Feb. 23.

The free monthly get-together combines a social environment with a worthy cause: Equality. The event runs from 7 - 9 p.m. This month, the HRC will host members from the Metropolitan Business Association. Visit Orlando.hrc.org.

MBA Networking Social Event

This month’s MBA event takes place at the downtown Bank of America, 390 N. Orange Ave., on March 3. The networking event begins at 6:30 p.m. and is free for members and $10 for guests. The featured speaker is John McClain, an Orlando man who was recently featured as a guest designer on an HGTV reality show. Visit mbaorlando.org.

Rainbow Democratic Club Meeting

Get involved with Orlando’s LGBT Democrats at the Rainbow Democratic Club’s monthly meeting. It starts at 7 p.m. at The Center on Feb. 22.

Find out whether Peppermint Patty ever comes out in Dog Sees God, premiering at the Breakthrough Theatre on Feb. 18.

General admission is $15 and the play runs

Got an event you’d like to see listed in Watermark? At least two to four weeks in advance, send all pertinent info—date, time, place, cost, contact information for readers to get more details, and what the event is about—to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com, and we will feature it in the paper on a space-available basis.

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

watermark | tampa bay out+about

shot on site

Photography | Todd Fixler, Suzanne Noe and Carrie West

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1- Members of the Tampa Bay-area leather community participated in the annual Gasparilla festivities in downtown Tampa Feb. 6.

2- (L-R) Mark Bias, Jeremiah Pagan, Bear and Streetcar Charlie himself celebrate Paganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Karaoke Idol III win at the popular restaurant.

3- Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas performs at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa earlier this month.

4- (L-R) Tampa Bay Business Guild president Cory Jeffries and Chelsea Night Club owner Nicki Turnon smile while riding the GaYbor float at the Gaparilla Parade Feb. 6.

5- Amy Black enjoys a beverage during the Jan. 29 Drum Circle held at Gulfport Beach.

6- This happy couple dons fabulously red hats as they celebrate the Lady in Red Dance in Gulfport Feb. 13.

Animal Based Charities Tampa Bay

PET-A-PALOOSA Animal Adoption Event USF Sun Dome Sunday, February 28 all animal food donations accepted

watermark | tampa bay out+about

overheard “Idols” found at Streetcar After 10-weeks of singing and long nights of competition, the GaYbor Karaoke Idol competition finally has its winner.

Jeremiah Pagan took the first place trophy (and more importantly, the crown and sash) during the final week of singing at Streetcar Charlie’s in Ybor City. Second place went to Bear and third went to Jacqueline Larson. The contest brought in fans from throughout the Tampa Bay area to cheer on their favorites and a long list of guest judges, including our friends Mark Bias and Carrie West of the neighboring MC Film Fest.

Tribal Council holds first meeting Mr. Gulf Coast Leather 2009 Matt Wolf wants to unify the area’s leather community. That’s why he started a local Tribal Council. (Don’t judge: it sounds better than Café Klatsch). According to Wolf, the new group will focus on mainstreaming the leather community while holding events throughout the Tampa Bay area and beyond. The first meeting of the council was held on Feb.

12 at the Reservoir Bar and members discussed a mission statement, logo and future plans.

Chmura holding his own Tampa Bay’s newest reality star is more than holding his own. Fashion designer Ben Chmura is gaining more face time on Lifetime’s Project Runway and has started wowing the judges with his sci fi inspired dresses. On the Feb. 11 episode, the designers’ much-desired prize was to have their look worn by Heidi Klum on the cover of Marie Claire magazine.

Chmura created a striking and colorful Japanese inspired dress that was praised

by Klum, designer Michael Kors and Marie Claire fashion director Nina Garcia. He barely lost out to gayest-of-gay Anthony Williams, whose turquoise cocktail dress was tailor made for Klum. But five episodes into this seventh season, the low-key but very likeable Chmura appears destined to hang around for awhile. We’re predicting he’ll outlive Williams, who’s been in the bottom three more than once.

Got juicy gossip or amazing event photos? E-mail the dish or your photos (with full names of everyone pictured and event details) to Overheard@WatermarkOnline.com

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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watermark | orlando news

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

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overheard Tapping into relationship superpowers Quirky and oh-so-talented journalist Liz Langley has scores of holdover LGBT fans from her days as a beloved featured columnist at the Orlando Weekly. Many check in with her on her very fun blog at liz-langley.blogspot.com. We ran into her recently doing research (thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what we said, too) at Fairvilla Megastore. Always inventive, Langleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day feature for Details was entitled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Five Rules from the Polyamorous for Not Screwing Up Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day.â&#x20AC;? Among the gems proffered: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Plan ahead or youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll end up without getting any,â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gifts lacking a personal touch will feel the same as a credit cardâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;flat and cold.â&#x20AC;?

A frigid Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day weekend Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not good when â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;frigidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Weekendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; are used in the same sentence, but that was the reason for postponing the much-anticipated Broadway Under the Stars Act II free concert on Saturday, Feb. 13. With the forecast calling for temperatures in the 40s

and high winds, organizer Sam Singhaus and Orange County Commissioner Linda Stewart agreed to postpone the outdoor event at Cypress Grove Park. Singhaus says that it will be rescheduled for some time within the next 3 to 4 weeks. Watch for announcements.

Tantalizing tix For LGBT culture whores, there are two intimate upcoming events of note. First, outspoken Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Marsha Norman (â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;night Mother, Getting Out, and the books for The Secret Garden and The Color Purple) will be at the Annie Russell Theater at Rollins College on March 26. At 10 a.m. sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll talk about writing for the theater, and at 7 p.m. sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll join a panel featuring award-winning editorial cartoonist Jules Feiffer to discuss the arts and social responsibility. The following month, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman will be the big-deal celebrity guest at the upcoming PlayFest at the Orlando Shakespeare Theater. Hoffman won a Best Actor Oscar playing gay in Capote. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll discuss his estimable career in an Inside the Actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Studio-type event on Saturday, April 10. Limited tickets go on sale March 10 at orlandoshakes.org.

Got juicy gossip or amazing event photos? E-mail the dish or your photos (with full names of everyone pictured and event details) to Overheard@WatermarkOnline.com

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shot on site Photography | Ed Blaisdell, Brendan O’Connor, Jamie Hyman, Epic Photography and Jamie McGonnigal (TalkAboutEquality.org) 1- Former Orlando resident Alan Bounville and other members of the activist group Queer Rising were arrested for chaining themselves to the entrance of the New York City Marriage Bureau on Feb. 12.

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Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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3 4

2– (L to R) OUTright Love-In organizers Rachel Gardner and Nicki Drumb celebrate the event’s second year with supporters Jack Dixon, Margo Dixon and Jean Farris.

3– (L to R) Neil Hamilton, Carlos Ortiz, Jimbo Riles, Brian Hanley of Orlando RPM size up the competition at the Gasparilla Softball Classic, Feb. 13-14. (See full story p. 51.)

4– Members of Rollins College’s “Spectrum” club (formerly the GLBTA Alliance) stopped by Watermark’s table at the Rollins Street Market Feb. 11.

5–More than 200 people showed up at Loch Haven Park at 2:14 on Feb. 14 to join hands, forming a giant heart as part of the OUTright Love-In. 6- Project Runway contestant Jesse LeNoir showed off his wares before speaking at the Feb. 3 Metropolitan Business Association networking event.

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YOUR SEX LIFE

EXPOSED!

WHO YOU ARE

Our 2010 Sex Poll uncovers fantasy, fulfillment… and more than a little frustration. results compiled by tom dyer

W

e’re inundated with polls it seems, and they can be manipulated to prove just about anything. But there’s no agenda for Watermark’s Annual Sex Poll, other than to take a snapshot of our misunderstood and misrepresented sex lives.

Some of the results are predictable albeit still interesting. For example, it’s no surprise that many of us are having a lot of sex, we masturbate frequently, we like to fantasize and we use toys to get off.

There’s also more evidence that the Internet has been a real game-changer in the world of LGBT sex. It's how more than half of us hook up in 2010, and how almost half of us get in the mood (with all that readily available online porn).

And as usual, it proves that we’re

deluded. Just about everyone describes themselves as ‘versatile,’ and a full three quarters of men describe their penis as ‘big’ or ‘very big.’ Only one percent fess up to being small.

But perhaps most interesting is the level of dissatisfaction with sex we uncovered. More than two thirds of us say we’re having sex less than once a week. We asked for explanations, and the answers reveal busy lives, lazy partners, and generalized fear and frustration with all the unknowns associated with hooking up.

So here are the results, culled from hundreds of your responses. Dive in and be informed, surprised, outraged, chagrined, and most definitely entertained. And with a nod to Where’s Waldo, don’t stop reading until you find the cantaloupe, drumstick, hairbrush and aluminum baseball bat.

HERE’S WHO SUBMITTED MORE THAN 300 RESPONSES. 41% from the Orlando area

HERE’S JUST A SAMPLE OF WHAT LIES INSIDE (AS IF YOU NEEDED SOMETHING TO WHET YOUR APPETITE):

29% of us lost count after 200 sexual partners.

3% of us are in active polyamorous (more than one partner) relationships.

8% of us masturbate several times a day.

65% of us have posted nude photos online.

40% of us have made a sex tape.

16% of us have paid for sex.

40% from Tampa Bay/Sarasota 5% from Daytona/Spacecoast 7% from elsewhere in Florida 6% from outside Florida 1% from outside the United States 84% male 14% female (including some of the randiest responses) 2% transgender (both female to male and male to female) 74% between 30 and 60 18% under 30 8% over 60, including one respondent in his mid-70s

81% gay male 12% lesbian 5% bisexual 2% heterosexual 34% in committed, monogamous relationships 19% in open relationships 27% single and stepping out 14% single and staying in 3% in polyamorous (more than 2 involved) relationships 3% in relationships but playing with both genders

40

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

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watermark | sex poll 2010

a minute with…

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

41

tom dyer

BEEL BALLINGER FAIRVILLA MEGASTORE MANAGEMENT TEAM

O

rlando | Like a character from Gone With the Wind, Beel Ballinger has the accent and easy-going conversational manner of a courtly Southern gentleman.

“The more nervous I get, the more Southern I sound,” he says. “I think it made me sound less gay back when I was sensitive about stuff like that.”

It’s easy to imagine Ballinger as a concierge or maitre ‘de, but not so much as manager of an adult store.

Then again, Fairvilla Megastore on Orange Blossom Trail is no ordinary adult outlet. The huge retail complex is an Orlando institution, attracting even the area’s local hoi polloi to its open well-lit spaces. And that’s because it’s fun. Even the kinkiest merchandise is displayed openly, and a friendly and well-trained sales team encourages questions and even demonstrations.

Laughter permeates the building and no skulking is allowed. Instead, couples—including same-sex pairs—hold hands and giggle as they consider their next purchase.

Born in Virginia and raised outside Jacksonville, Ballinger moved to Orlando in 2001. His first local job was at Border’s, but a co-worker soon hooked him up with a part-time gig at Fairvilla and he has been there ever since. He currently helps oversee a staff of 30 in Orlando. Fairvilla owners Sherri and Bill Murphy also have popular stores in Cocoa Beach and Key West.

Disarmingly candid, Ballinger had only one qualifier before we spoke: his answers are his, and are not those of the employers he clearly holds in high regard.

How is working at Fairvilla different than you expected?

It’s much more professional than I thought it would be. This is a major retail establishment. We emphasize customer service. I enjoy working here, and it doesn’t make me feel sleazy or tacky at all. I save that for my personal life.

Has it changed your attitude about sex?

Not really… I still have it as often as possible. But I’ll tell you, it does open you up to the fact that there’s a lot more than being on top or on the bottom. And I’ve learned useful things, like the difference between water based and silicone based lubricants.

What’s the difference?

Water based gets sticky and tacky after a while. And I’ve also learned that you can tell the difference between a drag queen and a cross dresser by the way they carry their handbag. (He demonstrates.)

Photo by Tom Dyer

What’s a sex toy that everybody should have?

Every man should have a cock ring… especially straight men. If they knew about cock rings they wouldn’t be spending all that money on Viagra and the herbal supplements we sell. Cock rings work. They make it bigger and keep it hard. And that’s

the beauty of this store. People can come in and be exposed to things and learn about things.

Does the herbal stuff work?

Oh yeah… you can bust a nut and turn right around and do it again.

Are there any trends in adult toys?

Male masturbators seem to be getting more popular.

woman’s doing it. Actually, they’re open to just about anything as long as there’s a woman in the room somewhere.

What’s the biggest selling product for women?

The We-Vibe. It’s a really cool looking couples vibrator that’s shaped like a ‘C’ so that the top part works the clitoris and the bottom part hits

“Straight men will stick anything up there as long as a woman’s doing it.”

—Beel Ballinger Why do you think that is?

Well, believe it or not there’s a lot of research and development that goes on in this industry. The products are constantly revised and improved, and the masturbators work better and feel better.

Any other trends?

I’d say we see more couples and more straight men. Ten years ago, a man with a sex toy was just gay. Now straight men are more open to using toys, even the ones that massage their prostate. Straight men will stick anything up there as long as a

the g spot. But it’s small enough so that a man can still fit inside, and then he feels it too.

Lesbians also like the Silver Bullet and all the bullet products. They’re for clitoris stimulation.

How has the gay section of the store changed?

It’s much bigger. It used to be just some VHS tapes. We even rented out VHS players for people that didn’t have them, and they would bring everything back in when they were done. Now we have different sections—magazines, underwear, Continued on page 45 | uu |

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watermark | sex poll 2010

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

TOYS IN THE ATTIC (O R T H E N IG H T S TA N D) ALMOST TWO THIRDS OF YOU DISCLOSED THAT YOU LIKE TOYS FROM TIME TO TIME. DILDOS, VIBRATORS, BUTT PLUGS, NIPPLE CLAMPS, PUMPS, POPPERS, COCK RINGS, LEATHER, HANDCUFFS AND RESTRAINTS CAME UP MANY TIMES. HERE ARE A FEW MORE INDIVIDUALIZED RESPONSES: “I have a cute purple strap-on that I love.”

“It’s called The Midas Touch. It’s a finger sleeve with a vibrator attached.”

“My pocket pussy.”

“Anything that hits my g-spot.”

“A penis if possible, but if not I have a lovely ribbed, vibrating dildo that I got at Fairvilla (in Orlando). It’s a little too big, so it’s only for special occasions... and when I have a firm grasp on my bowels. (Unlike that two-bit skank who had a man-period all over my sheets.)”

“My BIG.RED.DILDO.”

“The Fleshlight is great. It has mouth, asshole and pussy attachments.”

“Multiple egg vibrators at one time.

They constantly shift as you move, so you’re getting a fantastic sensation on the inside while you’re being stroked, licked and sucked on the outside.”

“A masturbation sleeve. My boyfriend likes to use it on me, and it works really well if you pull on the end of it right when you’re getting ready to cum because it creates a suction.”

“My Jeff Stryker dildo.”

“My Hitachi Magic Wand... it’s irresistible.”

“More than anything else, my leather hood.”

THE EARTH MOVED HERE’S WHAT SOME OF YOU SHARED WHEN ASKED TO 'DESCRIBE THE BEST SEX YOU’VE EVER HAD.'

“It was a new relationship and everything was exciting. I asked her to dress up like a police officer. It’s my favorite fantasy, and she knew exactly what to do. She drew it out and it was incredible. The worst thing is thing is when someone stops right at the peak of your orgasm.”

“A power bottom fucked my cock with his ass. It was a tumbling tumbleweed kind of sex.”

“Two hours on a St. Andrews cross as a leather master introduced me to the world of S&M. The hot wax was my favorite, and the ice rub down was incredible.”

“On our way to bartend at a wedding, my friend and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the car so we took a dirt road, parked the car, spread our clothes out in a field of clover and went at it like two dogs.

When we got to the wedding we had a hard time explaining the smell of clover and the grass stains on our clothes.”

“With my boyfriend after a fight.”

“Our love was young and exciting, and we had placed white candles and rose pedals all over the room. She dripped a little candle wax on my erogenous zones, and some melted chocolate on my tits and clit. Wow!” “At Blow Buddies in San Francisco there’s a glory hole with handles above it so I could hold myself off the floor. The combination of physical exertion with a blow job made the experience amazing.”

“Group sex at a gay resort in Fort Lauderdale. I was fucking my guy and there were these other guys rubbing me and making me feel really good as I came.”

“Sex in the pool with a straight married friend. We were skinny dipping, he got hard, and I sucked him off while he sat at the edge of the pool.”

“Having sex with my husband on the way upstairs at our house. The ecstasy mounted with each step as

we worked our way up. The joy was in the spontaneity and the complete physical and emotional connection.”

“Sex with a young, hung, uncut Puerto Rican friend, and a young, lanky, hung, uncut black ‘regular’ of mine. (Can you tell I like uncut?) We switched and swapped all night, fell asleep in bed together, and then did it again when we woke up.”

“I met a ‘top’ online, and when he got to my place he mentioned that he’d never bottomed. He wanted to try everything, and it was the hottest anal sex I’ve ever had.”

“I throw a bareback orgy once a month. I usually get six to ten guys, but a while back I had it at a hotel on International Drive and 40 guys showed up. Imagine that many naked guys in small hotel room.”

“In a warm rain on the beach in Provincetown. It was after the clubs closed, and this to-die-for man and I made love until dawn.”

“Hot, wild, uninhibited, bareback, anything goes sex with a hot man.

I was so turned on I thought the space shuttle was going off.”

“It was the middle of the night and my boyfriend and I were awakened by wind and thunder. The power went out and we opened the blinds to my bedroom window. We stood naked watching the lightning flashing all around. I brushed up behind him, and the next thing I knew we were thrusting in time with the storm.

Anyone at my apartment complex could have watched us like an old black and white movie.”

“It was with a man who will never be my partner. I knew it would be my only chance to have sex with him and it was very emotional.”

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

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44

watermark | sex poll 2010

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

IDEALLY, WHAT SIZE ERECT PENIS WOULD YOUR LOVER HAVE?

HOOKING UP WITH A BIG DOSE OF HOPEFUL, HERE’S HOW WE FIND PARTNERS. The Internet creates options and adds risk, but most of us are undeterred. In fact, 65% have shared nude photos via email, 36% have gotten naked on a web cam, 30% have posted nude photos (and 19% have put them on public web sites), and 16% have even sent personal porn pics in the midst of sexting.

Here are some other results: HOW DO YOU MOST COMMONLY MEET NEW SEXUAL PARTNERS? Bar or nightclub 20% Online—hook up sites 37% Online—social networking 10% Bathhouse/Gym 3% Public restroom 2% At work 1%

Don’t care (as long as it’s hard) 18% Small, 2-4 inches 0% Average, 4-6 inches1 6% Big, 6-8 inches 46%

ME LIKEY

H E R E ’ S W H AT W E F I N D AT T R A C T I V E .

F

rom bears to club kids and bulls to lipsticks, it’s a happy circumstance that our tastes vary.

When it comes to body hair, 40% of us like our partners hairy and natural, 52% like to see pubic and other hair groomed, and 8% want their sex partners waxed and/or shaved and smooth. We bet they’re the ones with their cologne bottles lined up in alphabetical order.

More than half (53%) admit to fantasizing during sex; usually exes, muscle guys (and gals), and people you’ve encountered at the gym or elsewhere during the day. But you also have porn stars, punk rockers and professional athletes (both male and female) on the brain.

And then there are the celebrities. The biggest female vote-getters include: Angelina Jolie, Demi Moore, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Lawless (“especially in Xena getup”), Mandy Moore, Melina Kanakaredes, Rachel Maddow, Sara Ramirez, Sarah Palin and Tina Fey. The biggest male vote-getters include: Anderson Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Bradley Cooper, Colin Farrell, George Clooney, Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Barrowman, Mario Lopez, Matthew McConaughey, McSteamy (Eric Dane on Grey’s Anatomy), Mike Alstott, Paul Rudd, Prince Harry, Russell Crowe, Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Lautner, Vin Deisel and Zac Efron.

Some were timely: “The big blue guy from Avatar with that funky tail connector… that’s gotta rock your world!” Others were, well, very specific: “One of the little Honduran guys who cut my grass,” “One of the bag boys where I buy groceries,” and “This one server where I like to eat lunch.”

A full 40% of you have made a sex tape, and another 18% admitted that you want to, but haven’t yet found the right time or partner.

Very big, 8-12 inches 16% Huge, more than 12 inches 0% Thick more important than big 4% JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHAT SIZE IS YOUR ERECT PENIS? Small, 2-4 inches 1% Average, 4-6 inches 26% Big, 6-8 inches 59% Very big, 8-12 inches 13% Huge, more than 12 inches 0% Thick more than big 2% WHAT BODY TYPE ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO? Thin 8% Average 22% Athletic 38% Very Muscular 5% Stocky/Voluptuous 26% Heavy/Plus size 1%

Fat 0%

Through friends 8% Only after a relationship develops 19% HOW FAR HAVE YOU TRAVELED FOR SEX?

THE BOWELS MOVED

AND AS A REMINDER THAT SEX SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN TO SERIOUSLY, HERE’S WHAT YOU OFFERED UP WHEN ASKED TO SHARE YOUR ‘FUNNIEST OR MOST EMBARRASSING SEX STORIES.'

A few miles 52% Many miles, but inside Florida 23% Outside Florida 14% Outside the United States 6% Overseas 3% No limits if they’re hot enough 2% HAVE YOU EVER EXCHANGED MONEY FOR SEX? Yes, I have paid for sex 16% Yes, I have been paid for sex 9% Yes, I’ve paid and been paid 8% No, neither 67%

“I used to have phone sex with this one guy several times a week. Finally I went to visit him in person, and he couldn’t get off unless I was talking to him on the phone in another room. What a waste of gas.”

“I brought a handsome guy home, we had great sex, I thought we had a ‘real connection’ and wanted to see him again... until he told me our time together cost $50 (it was a few years back). I didn’t have any cash, so I emptied all my change into a sock for him.”

“After fucking a guy he farted and ended up spraying shit all over my bedroom. It was a fucked up night.”

“One guy farted in my face while I was giving him a blow job. Bleh.”

“I swallowed a guy’s Prince Albert (metal cockhead piercing), but luckily I was able to hack it up... first the ball, then the ring.”

“I was in the back seat of my boyfriend’s car, in his driveway.

We’d just had sex and we were still naked and the sun was coming up. His neighbor came out to get the paper, stopped in front of us and just stared. So my boyfriend hopped in the front seat, started the car and backed out. And this neighbor guy gets in his car and follows us. He ran us off the road, and we were still naked.”

“I was 17 and new to the bathhouse scene and didn’t know the etiquette. I had my room door open and I was lying on my stomach and this black guy comes

was watching us through a crack in the curtains of our hotel room.

We had to use Band Aids to to hold them closed.”

“When my date found a tick on my clit.” in and just sticks his huge cock in my ass with no lube at all. I yelled, and swore off black men and bottoming. That lasted about a month.”

“On our wedding night, we were doing it and we heard laughing and saw that our wedding party

“The ‘broken arrow incident.’” ”I was dating a guy who was really, really small. One night he reached into his nightstand and pulled out a Trojan Magnum condom.

I could not stop laughing, and it ruined the mood.”

watermark | sex poll 2010 | uu | A minute with.. from p.41 lubricants, cock rings, toys that scream ‘I’m gay’—and it all feeds into the DVD rental and purchase section.

The other thing that’s different is you don’t see so many ‘nervous customers’—you know, the ones that would hang out right where the straight DVD’s merged with the gay and then they would step away when anyone got close.

Now you see guys holding hands.

Speaking of DVDs, what are some of your favorite titles?

Oh my gosh… so many: Dawson’s Crack, Everybody Does Raymond, Big Dicks and Little Chicks, Ruby the Transvestite Midget, Granny Does a Tranny, Bust a Nut in Granny’s Butt. That one’s just so wrong. If we went down and looked we’d find a bunch of funny ones.

Any trends in videos?

The multi-cultural ones are really popular right now, and so is the bareback stuff. I think these DVDs are escape for people, and so they like to pretend they can have sex without any risk. Don’t get me wrong… I’m all about safe sex. But it’s really not all that hot watching a guy stop everything to put on a condom. In fact, you’ll notice you almost never see that.

One minute two guys are playing around, and the next one of them is in there with the condom already on.

What’s the most expensive thing you sell?

The Sybian. It’s like a small leather hobby horse with a vibrating phallus on top. It retails for $1,642.99… with attachments.

Any products that baffle you?

Well, can you tell me why Anal Eze (sphincter muscle desensitizer) comes in cherry? Actually, you want to be careful with that stuff. You don’t want to desensitize too much or you’ll be wearing depends for two days.

Any Tiger sight ings?

To the best of my knowledge, Tiger Woods has never been in.

What’s the strangest encounter you’ve had at Fairvilla?

Well, I can tell you the creepiest. This middle aged man came in and bought this humongous dildo, and he was all about making sure the motor worked. Then he proceeded to tell me he’s a preacher, but his congregation kicked him out ‘because he told the truth.’ He said that when Jesus comes back he’ll take some people back to heaven, and everyone else will have their heads cut off. He didn’t tell me how people who buy motorized dildos will be categorized.

What insights do you have about sexuality after working at Fairvilla for nine years?

Really, it’s that everybody’s pretty much the same. We all want to be touched and rubbed and squeezed a little. We all want a little loving.

HOW WE DO IT WITH THE BIGGEST OF ALL CONVENTIONS—HETEROSEXUALITY— ALREADY DISCARDED, WE ARE ADVENTUROUS, INVENTIVE, AND POSSIBLY EVEN A LITTLE RECKLESS WHEN IT COMES TO SEX.

DO YOU USE A CONDOM OR LATEX BARRIER DURING SEX? Always 5% Usually 2% Sometimes, depends 31% Only for anal 29% No, I hate the way they feel 10% No, I’m in a relationship and we’ve tested 23% WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF PORN/EROTICA? Online porn 52% DVDs 27% Erotic stories/ literature 10% Magazines 1% I don’t use porn 10%

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING HAVE YOU TRIED? Dirty talk 83% Sex in a vehicle/ airplane 68% Sex in the ocean/pool 61% Group sex 59% Role playing 47% S&M/bondage 47% Golden showers/ urination 46% Sex at work 38% Faceless/ glory hole sex 35% Fisting 33% Enemas/douches 17% Sex with animals 6% Burning/cutting 4% Sex with amputees 3% Sex with midgets/dwarfs 2%

WHICH DRUGS HAVE YOU BEEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DURING SEX? Alcohol 87% Marijuana 42% Poppers/inhalants 39% Ecstasy 22% Crystal meth/ amphetimines 12% GHB 9% Bensociasepines (VALIUM, XANAX, ROHYPNOL) 8% Opiates or barbiturates (OXYCONTIN, VICODIN, PHENOBARB) 7%

LSD/acid 6% Ketamin (Special K) 5% Mushrooms 2% Nothing, even alcohol 10%

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

45

46

watermark | sex poll 2010

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

wHy tHe Hell not?

Here’s wHat you told us wHen asked, ‘wHat is tHe strangest tHing you’ve ever inserted in your vagina?’

Quantity vs. Quality (or No WoNder the ecoNomy’s iN decliNe)

“A big, black double-sided dildo.

Fun, but it was awkward trying to get things happening in just the right rhythm.”

C’mon people! A full third of us have had sex with enough people to fill four football teams or the entire U.N General Assembly.

“A cold vegetable. Interesting, but I won’t do it again.”

In my lIfe, I’ve had sex wIth:

“A flower vase. It was too big.”

Nobody 0%

“A hairbrush. You have to be very lubricated.”

1 person 1%

“A handful of sharpie markers. I liked that it was spontaneous, but it taught me to pick things that are smoother and in one piece.”

“A perfume bottle. It was the perfect shape, but they stopped making it, dammit.”

“Pieces of cantaloupe. They came out kind of gross.” and Here’s wHat you said wHen asked, ‘wHat is tHe strangest tHing you’ve ever put inserted in your rectum?’

“A drumstick. I liked that it was weird, but it really didn’t feel all that good.”

2-10 people 17% 11-50 people 27% 51-100 people 16% 101-200 people 10% Lost count after 200 29%

Role Results (or Necessity is the mother of iNveNtioN) Whether you feel trapped by roles or not, somebody’s got to top.

tHe fundaMentals Here’s How you’re Having sex, witH wHom, and How often.

Haves and Have nots (or Who said life’s fair?)

This explains the masturbation numbers.

Almost two thirds of us are getting it less than once a week. how often do you have sex wIth someone else?

I consIder my sexual role to be:

I don’t 11%

“A plastic model airplane.”

“A shampoo bottle... and no, I didn’t like it.”

Top (Butch) 16%

A few times a month 38%

Bottom (Femme) 14%

Several times a week 29%

Versatile 52%

Just about every day 2%

I don’t believe in roles 16%

Several times a day 1%

self love

“A big carrot.”

Almost one in ten are pounding it throughout the day. Where?!

lascivious oR just lazy?

“A zucchini. I loved the ridges and the way it tapered.”

how often do you masturbate?

(or have you tried scrapBookiNg?

“A banana, but it got mushy and that was a problem.”

Never 0%

“ice cubes.”

A few times a month 22%

have you ever had sex wIth a famIly member?

“An aluminum baseball bat.”

“An ice cream scoop.”

“A beer bottle. I didn’t like it.”

“A beer bottle. It felt good.”

“A butt plug hooked to a teNs unit. I loved getting fucked without having to make breakfast.”

“I think a penis is a pretty strange object to have up there.”

“A cucumber.”

“A popsicle. I loved the cold burn.”

“A tampon... don’t ask me why. I still don’t know.”

(or Who’s lockiNg the employee Bathroom?)

Once or twice a year 4% Several times a week 40% Every day 26% Several times a day 8%

Every few months 19%

Yes, with a ‘close relative’ 14% Yes, with a family member not related by blood 4%

b

ased on these answers, it’s clear most of us aren’t getting it is much as we’d like. We asked you to take some time and explain why, and your answers were insightful. There was a lot of blame placed on partners, busy schedules, and the time and difficulty involved in hooking up. Here are some of your most interesting (and touching) responses: “I’ve lost interest in my partner, and I don’t like the risks involved with casual sex.”

“Stressed, depressed, medications.”

“It’s not usually worth the hassle of dealing with the crazy people you meet.”

“I would rather use a dildo then be with someone that doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Too many guys are unsafe and that’s a turnoff for me.”

“Lesbian bed death at home.”

“My partner just isn’t into sex as much as I am.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t want a meaningless hook-up. It’s hard for me to love, but

“People my age are not looking for people my age. They want younger.”

“I have cancer and my partner became my full time caretaker two years ago,

“My partner is lazy.”

I think I’m ready to try. When I’m with a guy I want to feel something, not just get off and move on.”

“It’s difficult when you’re a ‘man of a certain age’ who is attracted to younger men.”

through chemo and radiation and more.

It’s hard for her to have sexual feelings when I’m basically her patient. Neither of us like it, but love trumps sex.”

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

47

48

watermark | transitions

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

His dachshund may be skeptical, but Outings and Adventures founder and Tampa “man about town” Robert Geller celebrates his birthday on Feb. 25.

transitions

passings

James R. “Jim” Blaney, 55, died on Feb. 8 after a long illness. Jim lived in Windermere and loved his dogs and all things Disney.

He is survived by his partner, Ron Romano-Gould, and an extended family. A celebration of his life was held on Feb. 11 at Leu Gardens.

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Tampa attorney O. Kim Byrd has been elected President-Elect for the National LGBT Bar Foundation. The LGBT Bar promotes justice in and through the legal profession for the LGBT community.

Orlando attorney and Watermark columnist Mary Meeks has also been appointed as a board member of the National LGBT Bar Foundation. Meeks is a commercial litigation attorney at Carlton Fields, P.A. in Orlando.

local birthdays Tampa’s Xtreme Total Health and Wellness consultant Ty Williams (Feb. 18); Stonewall Pinellas Democrat president Rick Boylan (Feb. 19); Tampa model and web site recruiter Michael Vought, funeral director and Orlando Anti-Discrimination Ordinance Committee cofounder Sam Odom, Tampa Gay Skate organizer and softball player Billy Seablom, and Largo resident and

Lighthouse Credit Foundation fronter David Crow (Feb. 20); House of Adonis hottie Jose Ortiz (Feb. 21); Tampa consultant Bart Nagy, Tampa Bay Business Guild administrator and TIGLFF superstar Renee Cossette and Gulfport council candidate and St. Pete Pride co-chair Stanley Solomons (Feb. 22); superstar realtor and selfless volunteer David Dorman and Tampa’s 5ive Magazine publisher Travis Sedler (Feb. 23); Orlando graphic designer Lisa Buck, Framing of Central Florida co-owner Mike VanDerLeest, Tampa artist and hairstylist Christopher Nejman and Outings and Adventures founder Robert Geller (Feb. 25); twins Bill Pease of Orlando’s MyOptics and Jim Pease, president of Tampa Bay’s Log Cabin Republicans (Feb. 26); Ybor Karaoke Idol emcee and Softball Angels manager Carlos Lopez, sexy Flamingo Resort bartender Michael Maraccini and muscled Tampa massage therapist Eduardo Campos (Feb. 27); St. Petersburg resident and Interpride member Dale Boggs, Pink Pelicans theater of St. Petersburg founder Larry Smith (Feb. 28); hunky O-Town hairstylist Heath Story, St. Pete Pride board member Scott Knowlson, Seminole Florist owner and St. Pete resident Jeffrey Boyle (Mar. 1); hot and bearded Flamingo Resort bartender and server Justin Cabarga, opera-singing partner to Orlando producer Margaret Nolan, Marcy Richardson (Mar. 2); Tampa mama to twins and lactation counselor Patty Cannon (Mar. 4).

Send news about birthdays, passings, anniversaries, promotions, commitment ceremonies—and whatever you commemorate—to Editor@WatermarkOnline.com.

watermark | advice

dothis!

Testy triad ADVICE FROM

The Truth

Truth@WatermarkOnline.com

I

Dear Tazmanian Devil, For the record, I agree with you: Richard made the wrong move. You were correct in saying that he put his friend before you. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like this was a normal Sunday night; it was Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day and you put a lot of effort into making it special for him, only to have that all overturned by one weepy phone call. That was thoughtless. Clearly Richard should have put his foot down and told his friend that, while he was sorry for his loss and more than willing to be there for him later, his plans with his Valentine had to take precedence. That he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t is a bad sign. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s either a complete va-jay-jay or he is ambivalent about your relationship.

There is no other way to look at it.

Needy friends have a tendency to pop-up at the worst possible moment. The fact that the friend calls Richard, who he knows has a partner, on Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day saying he canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be alone proves that he is no friend of yours. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a childish narcissist. And if Richard still feels he did the right thing, then his apology is essentially worthless.

People donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t apologize for doing the right thing. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s placating you and I get it: youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pissed. Until Richard understands that his primary romantic relationship must take precedence over his friends, particularly messy and hyperemotional ones, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not on solid ground.

Here comeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Truth, baby: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sweet that Richard wants to comfort his friends, but if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not careful heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be going through one soon himself. Only time can reveal the answer, and once it does I think it will become obvious what you need to do.

Dear Truth, am furious. For Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day, I made plans to surprise my boyfriend, Richard, with an uninterrupted evening together, which is really rare.

Dear Truth, We work opposite schedules, and I had I am in a triad relationship with to cash in all kinds of favors and take two other guys, Kurt and Luis. I was a vacation day so we could enjoy the partnered with Kurt for six years before holiday together. I made reservations at I suggested that we introduce Luis into a nice restaurant, where I was going to our family. Even though there was plenty give him an expensive gift to celebrate of physical attraction to go around, and our two year anniversary. I even had in every possible direction, Kurt was champagne and strawberries waiting for uncomfortable with the idea at ďŹ rst. But after dinner. he agreed, and we None of this ever have both grown to happened, however, love Luis these past Needy friends have a because Richardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s two years. best friend called But now Luis tendency to pop-up crying (as usual) a is clearly more at the worst possible few hours before interested in Kurt dinner to tell than me, and Kurt moment.

Richard that he is eating it up. I had been dumped see Luis engaging and couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be with Kurt in ways alone. Richard left to console his friend, he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t with me. When I try to talk leaving me alone and fuming. We to Kurt about this, he defends Luis and have been ďŹ ghting ever since. Richard tells me Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m jealous and paranoid. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m apologized but insists he made the right worried that Luis may be trying to break decision and that I wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done the us up so they can be together. What same thing. I say he needs to put me should I do? ahead of his friends or weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re done. Am I â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Pushed Aside right? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Tampa Tornado Dear Pushy Ass-ide, Oh people. Do you write letters to the Truth, but never take my advice? I know

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

the idea of a three-way relationship sounds exotic and edgy and sexy on paper. At ďŹ rst, it may be all of that. But the track record for three-way relationships is so poor in my experience that it should come with a warning label from the FDA. In my mind, being okay with seeing your man entwined semi-permanently with someone else must mean your feelings arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that strong to begin with. Or, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re so strong that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re willing to along with it out of fear that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll lose him otherwise.

Paranoia? Jealousy? No kidding! You really didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see that coming? You say the chemistry between you and Luis was undeniable. Well what were you doing in the laboratory in the ďŹ rst place? Human

49

emotions are combustible things and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve assembled a combination that has blown up in your face.

You are the one who brought Luis into your relationship. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. But now the cake is stale and each bite makes you sicker. Well grab a fork, honey, because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re getting what you asked for, even if it turns out to not be what you wanted.

The only hope is to remove one-third of this complicated equation and allow the two remaining parties to ďŹ gure out how they really feel about it each other.

Unfortunately, dear reader, it sounds like you might be the one without a chair when the music stops. Good luck. | l |

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watermark | classifieds

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

[classiFieds] central florida

employment offered

Extraordinary Advertising Sales Opportunity!!

If you are retail & customer-focused, computer literate & proficient, web knowledgeable & a self-starter with outside sales experience, then we might be a match! Watermark is seeking an experienced sales professional to help us grow our business by helping businesses in the Orlando area grow. You would call on potential clients, guide their advertising campaigns and make a very good living. Watermark Media is a great company offering a competitive compensation package that includes salary, commissions and full benefits. Send your cover letter and resume to Chief Financial Officer Rick Claggett at rick@watermarkonline.com or fax to 407-481-2246.

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on the purchase of his new home in Bay Hill. It was fun to work with you and help you find the perfect pool home! I know you will enjoy living in a bigger home with the decadent master bath and shorter drive to work. Glad to help you make your goals turn to reality. Danny Veal Realtor / Keller Williams at the Parks (407) 496-2662 www.DannyVeal.com

Mobile Homes For Sale

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Watermark does not knowingly print advertisements for sexual services. Beyond printed content, Watermark does not inquire into the nature of personal or professional services advertising. Payment for sexual services is illegal in the State of Florida, and respondents to classified advertising should govern themselves accordingly. As required by law (Florida Statute 480.0465), Licensed Massage Therapists include their license number in all advertising.

watermark | sports

Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010 |

Orlando, Atlanta teams take Gasparilla titles

Vancouver debuts first-ever Pride House

steve blanchard

Vancouver, B.C. | For the first time ever, gay Olympic athletes have a retreat to call home.. The Vancouver Olympics opened its Pride House to athletes and the public on Feb. 15, three days after the opening ceremonies were broadcast live on NBC. The house was was concieved by Gay Whistler to promote the area’s Gay Ski Week, which is the largest annual LGBT ski event and begins the day after the Olympics close.

Pride House is not only a resource for gay athletes and fans, but also a statement to fight homophobia in sports.

“We hope it will give our athletes more confidence to be authentic,” Gay Whistler

Tampa | Orlando teams once again dominated a Florida-based softball event, but Atlanta kept the Central Florida Softball League from sweeping the entire tournament.

Teams from Orlando took first place trophies in the A, B and D-Divisions, and second place in the C-Division. No Tampa teams placed in the 16th Annual Gasparilla Softball Classic, held over President’s Day weekend at four softball facilities spread out from Brandon to the USF area to Carrollwood.

The C and D-Division brackets were closed nearly a week before the tournament, with a maximum of 26 teams registered beforehand.

The A and B-Divisions had smaller caps of 10 and 16 teams, respectively. Some registered teams were no-shows due to winter weather in the Midwest, Mid-Atlantic and Northeast.

It wasn’t that much warmer in Tampa.

Players bundled in layers to prepare for the 40degree temperatures during morning games.

In A-Division play, the Orlando Force took first, followed by second place Fort Lauderdale Alibi Sun Devils and third place Atlanta Venom GATF. The Orlando Broadway Crush won the B-Division, while the Fort Lauderdale Orzel Eagles took second and the Chicago Spin Rock

The Orlando Tattoo Lounge Blue Devils celebrate their D-Division championship at last weekend’s Gasparilla Softball Classic. | Photo courtesy of Wes Hodge.

Stars placed third.

The C-Division title went to the Atlanta Hit Mob. Orlando RPM took second, and the Nashville Force placed third.

In the D-Division, the Orlando Tattoo Lounge Blue Devils finished first followed by the Fort Lauderdale FlaminGoGos and the Orlando Precious Little Miracles.

For full results and brackets, visit SuncoastSoftball.com/GSC. LGBT league play in both Orlando and Tampa begins in March. | l |

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staff report

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CEO Dean Nelson told Outsports.com.

Pride House was modeled after a pavilion at the World Expo and features TV monitors so visitors can keep up on races and performances. A speakers’ chalet will be set up where people can share their stories.

Organizers also plan an information session on Canadian immigration law.

“In no way does it imply the person’s sexual orientation,” Nelson said. “This pavilion is available for athletes and trainers of all stripes—including non-Olympians—to have a comfortable place to meet other people."

Organizers hope Pride House will become a tradition at all future Olympiads. | l |

Dash receives Aquatics International Award staff report Sarasota | A groundbreaking local instructor has been named one of the aquatic industry’s “Power 25” for 2010 by trade publication Aquatics International.

According to the lesbian networking site ProSuzy.com, M. Ellen (Melon) Dash developed a revolutionary way to teach swimming to adults and children who are afraid of water in 1983. She is the owner

of Miracle Swimming Institute in Sarasota, and is the author of Conquer Your Fear of Water.

Dash has taught nearly 4,000 students to save their lives in deep water, which she asserts is the basic principle of knowing how to swim. Dash has also taught dozens of instructors from around the globe how to succeed with students who fear water.

“The end of drowning is possible,” she has said. | l |

watermark | gossip

| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

billymasters

52

“Ladies and gentlemen, the director and star of The Beaver, Golden Globe winner Jodie Foster.”

—The actress’ upcoming flick got quite a plug at the Golden Globes. Rumor has it that she’s been doing research for decades.

T

Firemen, cops and cowboys Billy Masters Billy@BillyMasters.com

he award season has only just begun, and Hollywood has been engulfed in torrential rains. The Golden Globes were a soggy affair, with the most prevalent accessory being an umbrella. But that didn’t dampen my spirits—especially since I was sporting my new silver tuxedo and looking quite dapper, if I do say so myself. It may have been the Golden Globes, but silver was the color of the evening. The dashing Gilles Marini (Brothers & Sisters) told me that if I added some sequins to my lapels, I could be on Dancing with the Stars, where he finished as runner-up.

At one point in the evening, I found myself inches away from super hunky Matthew Bomer (White Collar, Superman Returns). He’s been prominent in this column the past few months, what with speculation about his sexuality fueled by his ex leaking pics of them making out.

All that coverage surely led to the line of questioning in the current issue of Details, where Matt is asked point blank about the gay rumors. “I don’t care about that at all,” he said. “I’m completely happy and fulfilled in my personal life.” When pressed he added, “I have a network and a show riding on my shoulders.”

You know what I say? Bravo! He’s not denying it, nor is he dragging female friends

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along for photo ops (take that, Kristen). He’s simply doing his job and keeping his private life private. That’s all I ask, so I didn’t grill him. I congratulated him on White Collar being picked up for a second season, wished him well, and we took a photo together. After all, he is dreamy, and incredibly sweet and sincere. So, back off bitches...I’m giving him a pass. (I also made a pass, but that’s another story.)

Now we’re in the lull between the Globes and the Oscars. (The SAG Awards, while fun, don’t really count—and I’m a member!) So life in Hollywood returns to temporary normalcy, which means raising money for Haiti. Predictably, some appear more sincerely concerned than others. I was touched when I saw photos of Kellan Lutz (Twilight) donating a basket of clothes to relief efforts. Most were shirts, and why not? How often does he wear one? Not that I’m complaining. Lutz was up for the lead in a remake of Conan the Barbarian, as was sexy Jared Padelecki (Gilmore Girls).

Everyone was surprised when the part went to Jason Momoa (Baywatch, Stargate: Atlantis). I smell direct-to-DVD. I certainly never get tired of watching the earnest Anderson Cooper reporting from Haiti. Is it just me or are his T-shirts getting tighter? I don’t think he’s getting any bigger; I think he’s shopping at Baby Gap. Maybe he’s trying to save money to pay for the former Greenwich Village firehouse he just stole for $4.3 million. The sprawling building is still equipped with a brass fire pole—which I’m sure will come in handy. God knows the place will be flaming.

We hear that former gay porn star Jay Armstrong is having some trouble in law school.

Reportedly, one of his professors has threatened the former power bottom via e-mail, saying he needs “psychiatric help for working in the adult industry,” and that there will be consequences for his vulgar past career. We’re told Armstrong is filing a harassment suit against the professor, which should make for interesting class discussion.

Michael

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Kellan Lutz (Twilight) just donated a bunch of shirts to Haitian relief. Why not? He never wears them anyway, not that we’re complaining.

Matthew Bomer (White Collar) could teach a lot of actors how to deflect gay rumors with class.

Verdugo had quite a nice life going. He was a police officer in Hollywood, Florida, and appeared as a contestant on HGTV’s Design Star. But the related publicity drew attention to a very brief past in porn; literally a 15-minute bondage scene in Rope Rituals (which you can watch on BillyMasters. com—it’s hot). As a result, he was fired.

Worse yet, he wasn’t invited to the Design Star reunion!

Personally, I think they should make porn experience a requirement for HGTV! Verdugo has filed a civil suit against the Hollywood Police Department for wrongful termination and discrimination. In the meantime, he’s put his skills to good use with Verdugo Design Group. And he’s got a boyfriend who is a field training officer for the Pembroke Pines Police Department. Someone’s doing something right.

When Anderson is prepping to slide down a fireman’s pole, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Write me at Billy@ BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Verdugo hires Armstrong as his lawyer! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible. | l |

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| Feb. 18 - Mar. 3, 2010

watermark | photography

galleryw Photography | Gregory Gore

Head to Greg's Facebook page to see more of his photography.

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