Washington City Paper (September 11, 2015)

CITYPAPER Washington

Free Volume 35, no. 37 WashingtonCityPaPer.Com sePtmber 11–17, 2015

union kitChen expands 25

theaters Vs. Cell phones 29

2 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

INSIDE

HUGE INVENTORY REDUCTION SALE!

EVERYTHING MUST GO!

14 the walking dread D.C. plans to end traffic fatalities by 2024.

Is it ready to take the necessary steps?

by andrew giambrone and sarah anne hughes PhotograPhs by darrow montgomery

4 Chatter distriCt line 7

9 10 11 12 13 23

Collective Failure: UDC and its adjuncts clash over unionization.

City Desk: Struck in D.C. Unobstructed View Gear Prudence Savage Love Straight Dope Buy D.C.

d.C. Feed

25 Young & Hungry: Union Kitchen expands 27 Grazer: Made in D.C. 27 The ’Wiching Hour: Broodjes & Bier’s The Nordic 27 Underserved: Poste Moderne Brasserie’s El Parque

arts

29 Dead Ringers: How local theaters deal with cell phones 32 Arts Desk: Skateboarding at the Kennedy Center?

34 Speed Reads: Umile on Sam Zabel and the Magic Pen and Villacorta on The Beauty of What Remains

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CHATTER

Time Travel to Fun!

In which readers take a sobering view of the District’s drug epidemic

Summiting K2

In response to last week’s cover story on the synthetic drug epidemic sweeping the District (“Spice World,” Sept. 4), readers drew parallels to drug epidemics of years past and shared terrifying anecdotes about the effects the drugs are having on users now. why wrote, “I can’t help feeling synthetic drugs in this NEAR ANNAPOLIS, generation is like crack from preIN CROWNSVILLE, MD vious ones: it’s used by a population we don’t much worry about, isn’t it? DCPD could look the other way when it was destitute folks sprawling on the street Saturdays & Sundays it’s once these folks start snatching babies and punching innothrough October 25th cent people that causes them to 10 am - 7 pm do something. So sad…” And Rain or Shine while we can’t verify the claims made in this comment, SOS wrote to describe alleged observations of Spice’s effects. They’re sobering: “While Anderson’s article is very informative, it really needed to say more about the horrific affect this ils.

Visit Our Website for deta drug has on its users, which are predominately young and African American. I was at the emergency room at Providence Hospital with my husband due to his high pressure and saw one young girl (early twenties) looking very wild and actually chained to bed she was sitting on. I asked what was going on and I was told she was on K2 and had to be chained because her behavior was so erratic. As I was leaving, there was yet another young side of the emergency room there were several policeman woman being carried in on a stretcher who was drooling at standing outside of one of the doors. The doctors told me the mouth and also chained to the stretcher. On the other

Maryland Renaissance Festival

Last Weekend to Save At the Gate!

d NyO lan

Mar

Re

W

na

iss

that this is a crises and that young people using these synthetic drugs are being bought in all the time.”

—Emily Q. Hazzard Welcome Matts I’m pleased to add two people to the masthead below, one Matt this week and another Matt in a few weeks.

Something missing from City Paper for the past couple of years has been regular sports coverage. To that end, Matt Terl joins us as a contributor with a column called Unobstructed View, where he’ll write about the city’s sports scene and media. He’ll have a unique perspective, particularly on the Pigskins: He was the first blogger ever hired by the team.

(He was also unceremoniously fired by the team, but that only puts him in league with most of the head coaches in the team’s Snyder-era history; we think he’ll have a much better record here.)

We’ve also hired a new arts editor, following Christina Cauterucci’s departure. Matt Cohen has written for City Paper, Spin, the American Interest, and other publications, but he’s distinguished himself for the last two years working for DCist. Cohen grew up here and knows the D.C. arts scene as well as anyone. He’ll build on Cauterucci’s fine work. “D.C. is a strange place in that, to outsiders, it has a reputation of being, well, This Town, but the truth is that it’s home to one of the most bustling, creative, and weird arts scenes in the country,” —Steve Cavendish Cohen says. I couldn’t agree more.

BIG SAV INGS AT THE GATE THROUGH SEPT. 13TH!

OPE !

N com ance Fe s t i va l .

Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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6 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

DISTRICTLINE

D.C said it is on track to 'end' veteran homelessness by year's end. washingtoncitypaper.com/go/VetHomeless

Collective Failure

A union has successfully organized adjunct professors across the city.

Why is UDC still a holdout?

More than a year ago, part-time adjunct faculty at the University of the District of Columbia voted to unionize. They were following the lead of hundreds of other adjuncts who had unionized and won contracts at some of the city’s prestigious private universities, like George Washington, Georgetown, and American.

But at D.C.’s only public university, one of the nation’s most successful metropolitan area adjunct organizing drives has hit a roadblock as adjuncts face unforeseen bargaining challenges coming from the administration. UDC adjuncts and their union officials with Service Employees International Union Local 500 say that at first the school dragged its feet while they waited at the bargaining table. But now that they’ve finally come to the table, the union alleges that the administration refuses to negotiate on most contract demands because of D.C.’s publicemployer-friendly collective bargaining law.

Protection by the National Labor Relations Act has led unions most recently to target organizing adjuncts at private schools.

Public university faculty, however, are subject to state-level collective bargaining laws, which can vary greatly. At UDC, that’s made getting a contract difficult.

“There is a very wide management rights provision in the law,” says Steve Schwartz, counsel for the Local 500, restricting concessions that are normally subject to collective bargaining. “It takes a lot of things right off the table without any further discussion. The system is not set up for dialogue.”

For the UDC adjuncts, who are public employees, the administration has the right to not negotiate over matters of job security, retention, evaluations, and some instances of safety on the job. Union officials say that this is impeding the bargaining process and dragging out negotiations. “The frustrating thing is that we’re having difficulty even talking to them. They are fearful of waiving their management rights” by even agreeing to talk about those specific demands, Schwartz says.

Darrow Montgomery

By Justin Miller

In a statement to Washington City Paper, UDC would only say that contract negotiations are ongoing and that the “parties continue to negotiate in good faith and look forward to a positive resolution.”

The SEIU Local 500’s adjunct efforts began about ten years ago in a contentious battle to reach a contract agreement for part-time faculty at George Washington University. After the first win, Georgetown came next. Then, like dominoes, adjuncts on campuses around the District kept voting to unionize one by one. SEIU’s national headquarters took notice early on of the successes happening in their own backyard and used the local D.C. effort

as a springboard into an ambitious national adjunct campaign first dubbed Adjunct Action and later renamed Faculty Forward.

“Faculty in Washington, D.C., blazed the trail for a national movement that is both raising standards in higher education and creating a new level of activism on campus,” SEIU President Mary Kay Henry said in a statement. “Since their success joining together in SEIU Local 500, faculty at dozens of colleges and universities have joined SEIU.” UDC is a highly dependent on part-time instructors—about 55 percent of the faculty are part time, according to 2013 data from the National Center for Education Statistics, which

includes both two-year and four-year faculty.

And the union is working to bring issues of low pay, tenuous employment, and an implicit exclusion from the institution’s mainstream to the bargaining table.

“They’re refusing in many ways to respect and value the importance of their part-time faculty,” says SEIU Local 500’s Higher Education Director Anne McLeer. “They feel disrespected. They feel disposable.”

Over the past couple years, Colin Cooper has worked as a part-time adjunct for the psychology department. She has a PhD in industrial organizational psychology and was a tenured professor at Bowie State University in Maryland. Before coming to UDC, Cooper had previously taught at a number of other universities, including Catholic University and University of Maryland, College Park. As an African-American woman, she had wanted to come to UDC to mentor students of color in the psychology department. And a friend had told her that UDC’s pay for adjuncts was better than at Catholic, so she took a teaching position. But she soon realized that teaching parttime at UDC was different than her previous schools. “When I got there, I wasn’t given the pay I was told,” Cooper says. “It was not a consistent, transparent selection process or salary process in terms of determining pay.”

At her previous schools, Cooper says there was a clear ranking system for adjunct appointments and pay. But at UDC, colleagues who had less academic experience were apparently getting paid far more than her.When it came to mentoring UDC’s students of color—about 60 percent of its students are black—she was only paid for her time spent teaching and grading.

Everything else was on her own time.

“They want to maintain the power, an ad hoc pool that they can pull out as they please and not something that will provide any structure,” Cooper says.

Patricia George has worked as an adjunct at UDC for about a dozen years, most recently teaching English, writing composition, and reading improvement at the UDC Communi-

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 7

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DL ty College. Her employment is never certain, and can depend on the whims of enrollment numbers semester by semester. In addition to that uncertainty, she says that at about $3,000 per course the pay is low compared to other universities in the city. Plus, the pay is irregular. “They only pay us twice a semester,” says George, who is a member of the collective bargaining team. “You have to wait ’til midterms and finals to a get a paycheck.”

Such grievances—a lack of job security and consideration of experience, among others— are some of the issues the union is trying to address with a new contract. But so far, UDC appears to be resisting meaningful dialogue by using D.C. labor law as a legal shield.

D.C. Councilmember David Grosso, who chairs the education committee that oversees UDC operations, says he does not comment on contract negotiations and declined to talk with City Paper.

Meanwhile, Local 500 continues to push onward in other places. Rather astoundingly, the union has organized about 80 percent of the city’s adjuncts—a success that’s unmatched by any other organizing effort. It’s currently bargaining an adjunct contract at Howard University, which would be a first at a historically black college or university.

Also, after most recently unionizing adjuncts at Trinity Washington University, the union is now launching into contract negotiations.

The biggest holdout beside UDC is Catholic.

It’s also moved beyond the District’s borders, unionizing adjuncts at the Maryland Institute College of Art and Montgomery County Community College and holding a vote at Goucher College in Baltimore, though the results are being contested in the NLRB. The union says that a number of other small private schools and possibly more community colleges in Maryland are in the pipeline.

The local’s success among adjuncts in the D.C. metro area could set them up to be even more of a beacon. Union strategists in the adjunct movement have theorized about the possibility of negotiating citywide contracts once part-timers are unionized to hold enough leverage over administrations. Ideally, this could lead to citywide compensation floors, joint retirement funds, and what would essentially be an adjunct job bank.

So as Local 500 continues to broaden organizing to Maryland (and possibly for-profits), it’s also thinking about the next steps in D.C. “Little by little, we’re trying to put the pieces together,” McLeer says. “We have to finds ways and means, carrots and sticks to get the employers to come together to bargain in some way.”

CP

8 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

DISTRICTLINE City Desk

Tomorrow’s history today: This was the week that former Mayor Vince Gray exceeded 1,650 days under investigation without being charged.

Road WoRRieRs

“I can go 25 miles per hour down the road, no problem. But people get so upset if I delay them and get in their way on the road, when I actually am where I am supposed to be.”

—Jeff Wetzel, cyclist January, 1800 block of Q Street NW

“You can’t bike in the Washington, D.C. area and not eventually get hit by a car, it’s just going to happen.”

—Steven Fleming, cyclist April, Constitution Avenue near the Reflecting Pool

“Immediately this woman started yelling at me as if

was my fault.”

Pedestrians Bikes

it

—Thaddeus Arnold, cyclist June, 801 Monroe St. NE

“I jumped up right away from pure adrenaline and confronted her, and she said—and I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean—‘You were in my lane!’ I thought, you know, we shared it.”

—Nick Peterson, cyclist March, 11th and U streets NW

There are few ways to find out about

collisions involving pedestrians and cyclists in real-time— unless you’re directly involved. Since June 2010, a group of civic-minded individuals has attempted to at least publicize a snapshot of these incidents through Struck in D.C. (@struckdc), a Twitter account currently run by Geoffrey Hatchard, Kim Shults, and Stephen Miller. (The project also posted user-submitted accounts to a blog until July 2011.)

The information is primarily pulled from D.C. Fire and EMS’ Twitter account. DCFEMS tweets incidents involving pedestrians and cyclists “as they happen in real time,” says spokesman Tim Wilson. “We try to get as many as we can throughout the day,” but not every incident is publicized via Twitter. Information is also crowd-sourced using the social media platform.

As of Wednesday afternoon, Struck in D.C. had collected 377 reports. City Paper has been mapping Struck in D.C.’s information since the beginning of this year, interviewing people who have been struck, and soliciting reports. Read some of the quotes from people who have been hit this year, and check out our map online at www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ —Sarah Anne Hughes go/struckmap.

“I fell onto the street, and, so I was scrambling on the pavement to avoid getting run over too.”

—Bannon Puckett, cyclist June, Oklahoma Avenue and Benning Road NE

Interviews conducted by City Paper interns Olivia Adams, Morgan Baskin, and Morgan Hines. Map by Zach Rausnitz. washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 9

UNOBSTRUCTEDVIEW The RG Theseus Paradox

By Matt Terl

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The benching of Robert Griffin III was the most important disaster that the local football team brought on themselves in the run-up to the new NFL season. It was also the most ordinary, which speaks to the byzantine disasters that this club experiences.

For most organizations, demoting the quarterback—or any player, really—who cost you three first-round draft choices and a secondround draft choice would be as bad as an offseason gets. But the Washington football team views it as an amuse-bouche of catastrophe, a little something to whet your appetite for the GM’s wife accusing an ESPN reporter of trading blowjobs for scoops, or the demoted QB taking to social media to “Like” posts slagging off the team and ownership.

But those more baroque comedies just embarrass the fanbase. They don’t cut as deeply as the the Griffin replacement does.

Griffin’s benching is deeply significant for a lot of reasons; at least two excellent essays have been written on the racial angle alone (by Clinton Yates in the Washington Post and Greg Howard at Deadspin). What I’m thinking of, though, is something less cultural and more fundamental to the very concept of fandom.

There’s a thought experiment that goes by a few names—I learned about it as the Ship of Theseus, and later heard a version about George Washington’s axe—that addresses a very simple concept: How much of something can you replace and still have it be that thing?

The axe is easier to describe: If you replace the blade and then replace the handle, do you still have the same axe? The ship is the more accurate analogy to a football team— lots more moving parts, all of varying degrees of significance to the operation of the whole.

But if a ship sets sail, and over the course of its voyage has its mast replaced, and its keel, and its planks, one by one… at what point do you say it’s a totally different ship that’s come back to port?

That’s what it’s like to be a sports fan over time. The uniforms tend to be really longlasting, but it’s just one plank.

Tom Boswell touched on some of this in a recent column in the Post, but he turns fan misery into an opportunity for hope, and sports fandom into a generally positive thing.

I think that ship has sailed, and probably been rebuilt a dozen times over.

When people write about the graying of Pigskins fans, and about the entire generation-plus that’s never even seen the team be respectable, the real concern should maybe be that even the aging generation is finding it easier and easier to disconnect.

Old people—even older than me, I mean— will always fall back on the same things when they look back at the good ol’ days: the Hogs and John Riggins and Joe Gibbs (the first time around) and Bobby Beathard and Jack Kent Cooke and RFK and so on and so forth until it’s time for an episode of Murder, She Wrote and the early bird special in the dining room.

The Griffin news fuels this phenomenon.

Nostalgia is like any other drug: The more you indulge, the less potent it gets. If it’s your only source of sustenance, you’re going to wind up fading away eventually. When the only way to get people happy about your football team is to literally reconstruct a facsimile of a 50-yearold building, you’ve overindulged.

Flashbacks to Riggo and Rypien have exhausted their ability to inspire, and even the memory of the late Sean Taylor is rapidly turning sepia-toned and historical.

The only hope for this franchise’s continued relevance to its fans is that they establish some new, enduring versions of some of the major parts, and soon.

Griffin should’ve been one of those. He was one of those, for one crystalline season.

But by making him fungible, just another warped board to be replaced, the team takes another step away from its days as a successful vessel and toward its current identity as a floating funhouse built with cheap, crappy boards.

(This whole ponderous metaphor is why the team’s name is so important to people, of course, and especially to Daniel Snyder.

There’s the very real possibility that that’s the answer to the RG Theseus Paradox, the final change when the team has turned entirely into something new, completely divorced from its past. Which, of course, is also another terrific reason to go ahead and make a change. Leaving aside the question of insensitivity, wouldn’t it be nice not to be associated with decades of ineptitude and failure?)

The social media shenanigans and PR follies are slapstick comedy. The RG3 benching is a very real reminder that gravity always wins and you are going to die someday, probably alone, having spent years of your life trying to care about something that actually ceased to exist years ago.

Unless the only local teams you root for are the Kastles and D.C. United, of course. Then CP you’re fine.

Follow Terl on Twitter @matt_terl

Adopt a friend today!

Gear Prudence: I’m tired of getting bullied by cars, so I’ve started “taking the lane” on roads without dedicated bike lanes much more than I used to. Taking common sense safety considerations that I can control into account, is this a good bicycling practice?

—To Avoid Kerfuffles, Expecting Rationality Dear TAKER: It sounds like an order at the Battle of Gettysburg or a nefarious plot Lex Luthor might undertake, but when you “take the lane,” you’re not actually taking anything. The lane is still there, for all to use.

“Taking the lane” means riding your bicycle in such a way that a vehicle behind you could not readily pass you in the same lane. Typically, that means positioning yourself closer to the middle of the lane rather than off to the far-right side hugging the curb. The reasons for adopting this behavior are plentiful and variable. The more common reasons include avoiding obstructions or debris, trying to stay clear of vehicle doors that could be haphazardly flung open, wanting to prevent a dangerous pass where the road is too narrow or the visibility is poor, and preparing to make a left turn. Mostly, it’s a question of individual judgment. And that’s where things can get tricky.

Some cyclists are hesitant to do it and are willing to put themselves in positions of peril rather than risk inconveniencing or slowing the drivers behind them, even temporarily. However, to bicycle in and around D.C. means that at some point, you’re going to be in a situation in which taking the lane is not only a viable option but likely advisable. Don’t be a martyr.

There is an element of discretion involved. Riding down the middle of the right lane of high-speed New York Avenue, while conceivable, is likely not the best manner in which to approach your commute. Riding in such a way as to allow faster moving traffic to pass you (when it’s safe) isn’t necessarily bad. Be cognizant and conscientious, but remember that any compromise in your position on the road that puts you in danger isn’t one worth making. At the same time, there’s no need to be deliberately spiteful or antagonistic. If a faster moving vehicle comes up behind you and it’s safe to move over so the driver can pass, just move over. It’s not a contest and you don’t need to prove any points about the equality of bicycles and their rightful place on the road.

Comity is OK. And in spite of the honks of a few inconsiderate assholes, for the most part, drivers get it. So don’t feel bad about —GP it. Do what you gotta do.

Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling?

Email gearprudence@washcp.com.

FACTS ABOUT DAY-Z

Breed: Terrier (Unknown Type, Medium) Mix Color: Tan/Yellow/Fawn Age: Young, about 1 year Size: Med. 26-60 lbs (12-27 kg) Sex: Female

Day-Z’s Story...

MEET DAY-Z!

I am an UNDERDOG because.... I look “Pitty”. My paperwork says I am a Boxer Mix but I was overlooked at the shelter because I look a little bit like a pit bull mix. However, I am a super nice and friendly girl, no matter what breeds I am! I get along great with other dogs and I am also good with kids!

Day-Z is a very friendly girl that loves people and attention. She has a nice healthy coat and beautiful big brown eyes. Whenever Day-Z sees another dog, she wiggles all over and can’t wait to play! Day-Z is currently living at a cage free dog daycare but occasionally will get a reprieve on the weekends with a foster! This foster has said she is a really awesome dog and is great with her young daughter who loves to get attention from dogs! Day-z loves any attention she can get. She hasn’t chewed anything except dog toys and doesn’t bark. She can’t wait to find her forever family in the D.C. area!

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SAVAGELOVE Is it legal for a man to procure the services of a dominatrix? In the kind of session I have in mind, there’s no nudity or sexual activity or contact involved. There’s not even any whipping or flogging or caning or hardcore BDSM stuff. I just want to see what it would be like to be bound and gagged. That’s it. So is it against the law to pay a woman to tie me up?

—Boy Into Nonsexual Domination “The short answer is no, he’s not likely to be arrested for procuring the services of a Dominatrix,” said Mistress Justine Cross, a proDomme based in Los Angeles. “What BIND desires sounds totally legal and safe—he just needs to find a Domme who is reputable (check out her website, read her reviews) and knows what she is doing in the realm of bondage. That said, I’m not a cop or a lawyer.”

Cross is, however, a business owner. She runs two dungeons in Los Angeles—and she consulted with a criminal-defense attorney before going into the professional domination business. “He assured me that what I do is A-okay,” said Cross. “And even though he had practiced for many years, he had never defended, nor did he know any other lawyer who had ever defended, a professional Domme. Since Dommes rarely find themselves in trouble for their work, it stands to reason that BIND, a future client, will be in the clear as well.”

With the Feds going after websites like Rentboy and myRedBook (sites that make sex work safer), and with the never-ending puritanical, punitive crusade to “rescue” adult sex workers from consensual, nonexploitative sex work (by arresting them and giving them criminal records), how is it that professional Dominants and their clients aren’t routinely harassed by law-enforcement authorities?

“We don’t offer sex or nudity in our professional BDSM work,” said Cross, “and this keeps us out of the ‘criminalized’ categories of sex work. However, every state has differ-

ent laws. NYC and LA both have large professional BDSM communities, but I can’t say every state or city welcomes or tolerates this type of sex work. In some places, the scene is more ‘underground,’ mostly because people still have a hard time understanding that some people just want to get tied up and not get a hand job, too.” Follow Mistress Justine Cross on Twitter @Justineplays.

—Dan Savage I’m a good-looking, fit, younger guy living in Southern California. I’m getting older, though, and have never been in love or had any kind of serious relationship. I’m straight, but in the past five years I discovered that sexuality is gray, not black or white. I learned this when I accidentally dove into the world of trans. I go on Craigslist and other sites and find local trans girls to engage with in sexual activity. It’s hard to describe why I’m into it, but I just am—maybe it satisfies a sexual side of me that women don’t? Regardless, I’ve felt like this is an issue getting in the way of my quest to find a great woman and start a family, which I’d like to do in the next few years. I’m caught between thinking my sexual addiction is hindering my advancement toward a family life and enjoying the rush and sexual gratitude I’m inundated with when I meet up with trans girls.

Is it something I definitely need to put an end to, or has it become a part of me that I can’t deny —Rocks And Hard Places and hide?

Trans women are women, RAHP, and some of them are great. (And some of them, like some of everybody, are not so great.) You could date a trans woman, you could marry a trans woman, and you could have kids with a trans woman (through adoption or surrogacy). The only thing that stands between you and being with the kind of person you’re most attracted to (a trans woman) and having the other stuff you want out of life (mar—Dan riage, kids, family life) is you.

Penis puppetry came up on an episode of Dif-

ficult People. I don’t want to google it, but I am curious about how it works. I don’t want to see pictures. Could you explain it?

—Delicately Interested Person I couldn’t tell you, DIP, but Billy Eichner, one of the stars of Difficult People, could. “Puppetry of the Penis is a show that tours all over the world, where men use their penis and testicles as puppets, twisting them into all kinds of shapes and characters,” said Eichner. “Not sure what about the name Puppet—Dan ry of the Penis threw you off.”

“Not sure what about the name Puppetry of the Penis threw you off.”

I’m a straight man, age 33. I was in a mutually unsatisfying relationship with a woman in my 20s. I told her not long after we got together that I didn’t want to eat her pussy because I didn’t like her smell. I’d eaten other vulvas before and loved them. She wasn’t a week-between-showers kind of woman, and she was rightly hurt. Years later, I started listening to you and got religion. (And since she didn’t want to hear from me, I made my apologies by treating the women I date now better.) Since then, I’ve loved the smell of every woman’s pussy I’ve been fortunate enough to stick my nose in.

But the question haunts me: How could I have handled that situation instead? How would I handle it again? What’s a sex-positive way to tell a pussy-having person their smell turns you

off? As someone who feels imbalanced in a sexual relationship if I’m not eating my partner’s pussy, should I just quietly end things and say nothing? Seems like there’s a middle way. I first thought of your advice for smelly dicks—tell him to take a shower—but for Americans, the smell of a vulva is tied up as much in hygiene as misogyny. I’m not sure how to approach this.

—Wondering How I Fill Females In Now Graciously Telling someone with a pussy that their genitals smell funky is more complicated and fraught, as you’re already aware, than telling the same thing to someone with a dick. The culture has been telling women—and, yes, that tiny percentage of men who have pussies—that their genitals are unclean and stinky since basically forever. But there are legitimate medical issues that can make someone’s junk smell funky (and just not pussystyle junk), WHIFFING, and sometimes we need the people who can actually get their noses into our crotches to give us a heads-up.

A bad vaginal odor can be a sign of bacterial vaginosis or even cancer.

Here’s how you approach it: You ask yourself if you’re the problem—think they smell bad? You’re the problem—and then you ask yourself if sexual chemistry is the problem. (Don’t like this person’s particular smell and taste? Keep your mouth shut about their smell and taste and end the relationship.) If you think it might actually be a medical issue, you say something like this: “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but your vagina and labia smell funky.

That’s not an easy thing to hear, I know, and it’s not an easy thing to say. I know the misogynistic zap the culture puts on women’s heads about this—but I’m worried that it might be a medical issue, and I’d rather risk your anger than your health.” —Dan Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net

10/10/15 12 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

THESTRAIGHTDOPE Depends on how long you plan on living. At the rate things were going, the timeline for commercial fusion power was up there with the half-life of radium. Sure, Lockheed Martin’s bid could crash and burn, but current efforts don’t seem noticeably more promising and it’s not my money. So why not?

Lockheed engineers raised eyebrows worldwide when they announced last October that they were pursuing a new type of compact fusion reactor. They planned on testing their design in a year, they said, with a working prototype in five years. The skepticism stemmed from the lack of technical detail provided, and the feeling we’d heard this before.

However, enthusiasm in some quarters was also high—the reactor is being developed by Lockheed’s Skunk Works research and development team, responsible for among other things the SR-71 Blackbird (the fastest non-rocket plane ever built), the F-117 stealth bomber, and the F-22 that replaced it. Lockheed Martin is a public company with an image and stock price to protect, and you’d think they wouldn’t be foolhardy enough to promise a breakthrough without something to back it up.

Then again, Microsoft seemed pretty confident about Windows 8.

The details released by Lockheed are sketchy, but apparently the company has decided to go with a smaller-is-better approach to containment design. In a hot-fusion reactor, a mixture of deuterium and tritium, two heavy forms of hydrogen, are injected into an evacuated chamber and heated to millions of degrees to form a plasma in which atoms fuse together, releasing energy. This insanely hot plasma must be contained in a small space not only to keep the reaction going but also to allow safe extraction of the heat needed for power production.

To date most fusion reactor designs have been of a type called a tokamak (a Russian coinage), which suspends the plasma in a superconducting magnetic field shaped like a giant donut. The drawback of a tokamak is that it’s huge and complicated but can contain only a small amount of plasma. The Lockheed people claim that by shrinking the reactor they can hold more plasma relative to the energy required to maintain the magnetic field, resulting in ten times the power production. Furthermore, they say their system is safer and more stable than a tokamak—as the plasma pressure increases, so does the strength of the field, con-

taining the plasma even more securely.

Beyond these efficiency advantages, there’s obvious benefit to having something powerful enough to run 100,000 homes but small enough to fit in a semitrailer. On paper at least, the compact and safe design could make it suitable for powering ships, airplanes, and even spacecraft.

Lockheed isn’t alone in breaking away from the tokamak herd.

General Fusion, for example, uses a sphere filled with liquid lead and lithium to contain the fusion reaction. Others have redesigned the tokamak to look more like a cored apple than a donut. It’s hoped that, within a decade (a familiar-sounding timeframe, admittedly), these so-called spherical tokamaks will achieve the critical “net power production” point—that is, where they’re producing more power than they consume.

We’re not there yet. In 1997 the Joint European Torus set a record for producing 16 megawatts of power for a few seconds—an impressive number, but only 65 percent of the power that went into running it. In 2014 a laser fusion experiment at the Lawrence Livermore National Ignition Facility managed to generate “fuel gain greater than unity.” Is that good?

Absolutely. Does it mean we’ve crossed the net power production threshold? Alas, no.

Still, it’s more progress than some fusion efforts have made. The current leader in money spent vs. watts produced—and that’s not a title you want to hold—is the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor, or ITER. A monster of a project at ten stories tall and costing more than $18 billion, ITER utilizes a traditional tokamak design and hopes to produce fusion energy sometime after 2027—which is, I note, more than a decade away.

By reaching its goal of 500 megawatts of power from 50 megawatts of input energy, ITER would set the stage for the next phase, called DEMO, projected to start construction in 2030 and possibly finish by 2040. DEMO wouldn’t be one plant but rather a sort of joint venture in which multiple parallel efforts would somehow produce a single reactor to serve as the prototype for multiple commercial-grade utility reactors, which would in turn begin construction after 2050. Right after that, Jesus comes back.

The one fusion reactor of demonstrated practicality is the sun, one of your more plussize phenomena, suggesting Lockheed’s smallis-beautiful approach is no sure route to success. On the other hand, you have to like the idea of a test design in a year. The tech world has taught us you learn from your wrong turns.

—Cecil Adams Therefore, fail fast.

Slug Signorino

Lockheed Martin’s claim of fusion power “in a decade” has my Spidey-sense tingling. Is there any merit to their claim? It seems like fusion power is always just a decade away—is there reason to hope anyone is going to create workable fusion power in our lifetimes? —Kevin Miller

Have something you need to get straight? Take it up with Cecil at straightdope.com. washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 13

Minnesota Avenue and Benning Road NE

Vision Quest D.C. plans to end traffic fatalities by 2024. Is it ready to take the necessary steps?

By Andrew Giambrone The car came out of nowhere. In just seconds, Laura Bliss was on the pavement, yelling for help.

A resident of Columbia Heights, Bliss was walking to buy groceries on a Sunday morning in March as she crossed Randolph Street NW near its intersection with Kansas Avenue. A compact car turned left and careened

into her hip, leaving a bruise that would remain for about a month. The driver immediately leapt out of his vehicle and started apologizing for the collision.

“I was on the ground screaming, ‘What the hell! I’m a human being!’” Bliss remembers.

“How do you not see a human being? It’s so incomprehensible to me… I assume he was on his phone.”

A nearby couple heard her cries for help

14 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

and rushed to get Bliss off the road. Soon after, a cop rolled up in his cruiser and told the driver to move his car out of the middle of the street. Bliss thought about reporting the incident then and there, but says she felt fine in the moment and didn’t feel comfortable indicting the driver. “I don’t think he was intentionally trying to hit me at all,” Bliss explains. “I believe he was probably just looking at something else. If you drive a car, it’s hard to resist that urge; I don’t think of him as some inhuman, evil, totally careless person.”

The crash caused still-deeper wounds: Bliss suffered “some very real PTSD” and didn’t walk or bike to work for several weeks.

At her mother’s bidding, she eventually filed an insurance claim for her injuries and got a few hundred dollars to pay for her medical bills. “It was not so scarring that it’s going to prevent me from living my life, but it definitely had some effects for a while.”

In the same month Bliss was hit, the District officially adopted Vision Zero, an ambi-

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

The Walking DreaD

tious and aspirational initiative to make stories like hers a thing of the past: By 2024, D.C. aims to end all traffic fatalities and serious injuries using a combination of public strategies and funding. Other major U.S. cities, including New York, San Francisco, Boston, Seattle, Portland, and Chicago, have committed to their own versions of Vision Zero, initially a Swedish concept dating to 1997.

According to police statistics, D.C. has seen 16 traffic fatalities as of Sept. 9, a decrease of 23.8 percent compared to the same period in 2014. Last year’s total of 26 fatalities was down three from 2013 but up seven from 2012. Overall, traffic deaths have gone down 58 percent during the last two decades.

Roughly half of the annual fatal crashes involve drivers; the other half pedestrians, and some cyclists.

With more than 20 District agencies participating in Vision Zero, coordination presents a huge challenge. D.C.’s Department of Transportation is effectively spearheading the

initiative, so much of the praise or blame will be directed at the agency. Thus far, DDOT has organized a series of publicity events for Vision Zero, launched a crowd-sourced safety map, conducted internal meetings with other agencies, and begun drafting an action plan to guide how the District is to transform a utopian idea into a lived reality. D.C. had scheduled the action plan to come out this month, but as of this week it hadn’t settled on a firm release date.

Critics say that the online safety map, which has received hundreds of comments, experiences glitches, and that the grand branding of Vision Zero—on the back wheels of Capital BikeShare bikes, for example—can’t in itself prevent crashes.

“The proof is going to be in the next six months,” says Greg Billing, the executive director of the Washington Area Bicyclist Association. “We can all put out good plans. It’s whether they’re implemented that’s the question. A lot of that will be about data: Can we get that number down?”

On a recent Tuesday afternoon, a crowd of about 20 residents gathered outside the Frank D. Reeves Municipal Center to observe and discuss one of the city’s most dangerous intersections: 14th and U streets NW. Although it was only 4 p.m., the intersection already bustled with passenger vehicles, pedestrians, cyclists, taxis, and Metro buses. At one point, a black SUV heading north made an illegal U-turn and nearly clipped a cyclist heading south on a designated bike lane; at another, a blaring ambulance quickly turned right onto U Street and drove farther east.

The crowd tensed up.

The gathering was the second of five site visits, organized by D.C. Councilmember Mary Cheh, to crash-prone intersections.

Cheh chairs the Council’s committee on transportation and the environment, and her office is working “on parallel tracks” with Vision Zero. Once the Council returns from recess, Cheh’s office is hoping to introduce legislation based on the results of a focus group that researched liability issues for cyclists, a recurring topic of debate. She’s an avid cyclist herself (“I love to bike!” her Twitter bio reads) and often bikes to the Wilson Building from her home in Ward 3, partly down hectic Connecticut Avenue.

To achieve Vision Zero, the District will have to collect reliable data on traffic incidents in all eight wards. This poses significant obstacles—some of which already seem evident. Take the crowd-sourcing map DDOT has posted online. Though many users have made comments about heavily trafficked areas in Northwest, far fewer have done so in Southeast, even along corridors like Pennsylvania Avenue and East Capitol Street, which connect the District with Maryland.

“I think DDOT has tried to do their best to get out in the community and has been around the city, but getting community en-

“Part of the mindset of Vision Zero is that fatalities aren’t inevitable, every fatality can be looked at and learned from.”

— Sam Zimbabwe, DDOT gagement on this issue is challenging,” Billing explains. “People are busy and have jobs and families. DDOT will really need to do something with [culled] data.”

Compounding the problem are purportedly insufficient crash reports by the Metropolitan Police Department. Transit-safety advocates say many incidents don’t get fully recorded, either because the parties involved reach some kind of settlement or because MPD reports skimp on the details.

Sam Zimbabwe, an associate director of policy at DDOT, says more than 2,600 residents participated in Vision Zero awareness events held throughout July. From surveys administered at the events, DDOT learned that people are largely concerned about drivers going too fast or being distracted. Almost half of those surveyed said they knew someone who had been involved in a traffic crash.

“Part of the mindset of Vision Zero is that fatalities aren’t inevitable,” Zimbabwe says. “Every fatality can be looked at, learned from. We have to make sure we’re getting data that’s accurate.”

Around 7 a.m. on Aug. 24, the first day D.C. Public Schools were back in session, Mayor Muriel Bowser stood on a traffic island in the middle of Seward Square, holding a sign with a hand-drawn message: “Slow Down for Our Kids.” Bowser waved as cars sped northwest on Pennsylvania Avenue SE. Some pulled over to greet the mayor or honked; others rushed to work—just another Monday.

Bowser occupied the square along with a group of about 30 volunteers for an hour, before she walked over to Brent Elementary School on North Carolina Avenue SE to welcome students and parents. Though the daylong, District-wide “Slow Down” campaign wasn’t advertised as a part of Vision Zero, it did raise some of the same questions D.C. now faces regarding the efficacy of educating drivers on the dangers of speeding. Education is one of the so-called “three Es” of Vision Zero, the other two being engineering (of streets) and enforcement (of traffic violations).

“I think what counts is having some enforcement on an occasional basis,” Sonia Conly, treasurer and Ward 6 representative of the D.C. Pedestrian Advisory Council, said that morning. “You have this campaign today, but what’s going to happen to [driving] behavior the next day?”

Like other urban centers, the District attracts drivers from all over the U.S.: some who learned to drive on country roads in Kentucky, some who did so on the congested streets of Manhattan. Then, of course, there are commuters from Virginia and Maryland—many who want to get between work and home as quickly as possible. (Within D.C., most commuters do not drive to work.)

Zimbabwe says the hodgepodge nature of transportation in D.C. means no single strategy or group can accomplish Vision Zero.

Something as simple as playing safety videos in the waiting room at a Department of Motor Vehicles location, or publicly highlighting crash data, he adds, could move things

forward: For example, when a car is going 40 mph and hits a pedestrian, there’s only a 10 percent chance of survival; when the same car is going half that speed, the pedestrian’s survival chances are 90 percent.

“We want to target speed reduction on our major arterial streets,” he says, referring to roads that typically have four or more lanes.

“In some places, that could involve changing the lane striping, [or] adding small islands in the middle of the street. It’s not always going to be a capital project.”

Often, however, what gets drivers to slow down isn’t knowing that speeding is bad— it’s fear of getting caught. One proven way to do this is through automated enforcement.

A recent report based on traffic data from Montgomery County found that automated cameras “were associated with a 10 percent reduction in mean speeds and a 59 percent reduction in the likelihood that a vehicle was traveling more than 10 mph above the speed limit at camera sites.” The study, published in August, showed that cameras reduced the probability of serious crashes by 19 percent.

A report from DDOT last year recorded a 20 percent decrease in crashes near 87 camera locations in D.C. Advocates say ramping up enforcement measures, including automated cameras and ticketing for moving and parking infractions, would limit dangerous driving behavior while the city plans longer-term (and higher-cost) engineering projects, like building more bike lanes. (Even there, D.C. is behind target: Out of a goal of 7.5 miles of bike lanes as part of a two-year action plan, DDOT had created 2.27 as of Aug. 24 . In 2014, the District added a record 9 miles.)

Other effective strategies could include road diets and step outs. The first entails removing at least one lane of traffic and converting it into something else, like a shared turn lane in the middle of the street, or parking spaces that then serve as an additional layer of protection from moving cars. Step outs, which MPD has conducted before but only began doing with Vision Zero data this summer, refer to when plainclothes officers step off the curb and issue citations if drivers fail to yield to pedestrians in crosswalks.

They can also cite pedestrians for jaywalking. A step out conducted at Georgia Avenue and Lamont Street NW in July resulted in 26 citations.

Still, advocates acknowledge that enforcement won’t solve everything: Police officers can’t be everywhere all the time. That’s why Vision Zero needs to include projects that can be “rapidly implemented,” Billing says; the District can’t wait five to seven years to execute its Vision Zero plan when it’s supposed to be completed by 2024.

The District does have a comprehensive, long-term plan for improving transportation, Move DC, which seeks to invest in alternatives to driving over the next quarter

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 15

A Crossing to Bear Examining D.C.’s most “dangerous” intersections

Councilmember Mary Cheh

century. Its goal is to accommodate an estimated population growth of 100,000 people in the District through better infrastructure and transit networks.

Zimbabwe says he sees Vision Zero as a “subset” of Move DC, which involved fewer agencies. The former has greater urgency (“It’s not like we set some interim goal of five fatalities”), but is closely linked to the latter: “People aren’t going to bike if they don’t think they can bike safely.”

“We’ve [heard] frustration from people about the speed and implementation of various things,” he says. “There can be a reaction to something like Vision Zero [of] ‘Show us something instead of just creating another plan.’ That’s the criticism I’ve heard [and] I don’t know if it’s fair.”

Eileen McCarthy, the secretary and Ward 3 representative of the D.C. Pedestrian Council, has somewhat less-lofty recommendations for implementing Vision Zero. She says the District might want to consider buying ads that portray the effects of speed and explain how speed limits get set—something she saw during a recent visit to Portland, which has established 2025 as its goal for Vision Zero. She adds that she finds the current progress of D.C.’s initiative “very encouraging.”

“I know people are impatient and want [the implementation or Vision Zero] to start soon, and so do we, but it has to get done right—something that is both realistic and optimistic.”

A little over a month ago, Laura Bliss was hit again. This time, she was on her bike.

“Another cyclist rear-ended me, and he fell

off his bike,” she says, with some disbelief.

“This was so insane. My bike was fine; I was totally fine. I saw something black and plastic fly off his head and I realized it was his helmet, but that he hadn’t strapped it onto his chin. So stupid!”

The other cyclist was ultimately fine; he got up quickly and seemed to have everything together.

Steve Sund, a commander within MPD’s special-operations division, says the department will work with DDOT to identify problem-areas using analytics that are currently being developed. Asked whether officers will have Vision Zero beats based on that data, he replies: “It’ll be an ongoing effort. I don’t know if I’d specifically say a daily effort, with various initiatives changing. The big thing is behavior modification.”

Which raises perhaps the biggest challenge for transit safety in the District: Unless individual behavior changes—whether while driving, biking, or walking—it seems impossible that Vision Zero can become more than just a nice idea. Proponents realize that, to some extent, they’re fighting against a force much larger than drivers making illegal Uturns and pedestrians not using marked crosswalks: human nature.

“If we had a silver bullet, I think we would have used it already,” Billing says. “Which is why you have to have a common goal, which is: People shouldn’t die going to work, people shouldn’t die going to pick up their kids, and going to the grocery store, and going home from their coffee shop. That the mistakes people make, because we all make mistakes, CP shouldn’t be deadly either.”

16 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

By Sarah Anne Hughes It’s just after 9 a.m. on a recent Thursday, and dozens of the 75,000 vehicles expected to travel on New York Avenue past Bladensburg Road NE that day are speeding into the District. Officials from the D.C. Department of Transportation, members of the Metropolitan Police Department, and advocates for pedestrians and cyclists are huddled near the drive-thru of a Checker’s, taking advantage of a small patch of grass in the sea of roads and parking lots. It’s the fourth stop on a tour of some of D.C.’s “most dangerous intersections,” organized by Councilmember Mary Cheh’s office.

Getting to the tour’s meeting place begins with mad dash across New York Avenue’s

eight lanes; a person unable to make the journey in the 21 seconds the walk signal affords might be left on the small strip of concrete in the middle. Traffic from Route 50 and the Baltimore–Washington Parkway zooms by; cyclists pass on the deteriorating sidewalk. A U.S. Postal Service delivery truck legally forbidden from making a left off Bladensburg, as if on cue, comes through a light and turns into a gas station, nearly clipping another driver, to get to New York Avenue.

In 2014, the intersection was second on a ranked list of high-crash locations determined by DDOT’s Crash Composite Index, which calculates a score based on crash frequency (total number of crashes), crash rate (average number of crashes per year dividContinued page 20

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A Year of Crashes Earlier this year, City Paper requested all 2014 crash entries from the D.C. Department of Transportation’s Traffic Accident Reporting and Analysis System that involved pedestrians and cyclists. What we got back was basic information on more than 1,110 pedestrianinvolved crashes and more than 800 cyclist-involved ones.

The data in TARAS is pulled from PD-10 crash reports from the Metropolitan Police Department; it includes information on the date and time of the collision, the street and “side street” where it occurred, the incident type, the number of injuries and fatalities, and the number of each road user involved. For example, on Dec. 31 at 11:30 p.m., three pedestrians within 100 feet of the intersection of New York Avenue and Bladensburg Road NE were hit straight-on by a driver; all three were injured.

But the information is limited and sometimes incomplete: Twenty-five pedestrian entries and 14 bike entries were unusable because they lacked a cross street. The Washington Area Bicyclist Association argued in a July policy paper that “MPD’s PD-10 crash intake form has several deficiencies that make it difficult for police officers to capture accurately the important details of a crash involving a pedestrian or bicyclist.” Other information that

Pedestrian-Involved Crashes, Late-Night Weekend

can and should be captured, according to WABA, includes “the location of a non-motorist with respect to the roadway at the time of the crash,” “the action of a bicyclist immediately prior to the crash,” and “whether the bicyclist was using lights.” Executive Director Greg Billing says they haven’t received a formal response from DDOT on the recommendations, which they asked to be included in the two-year action plan.

D.C. police do not make crash incident reports available to reporters, either through their public information office or through the Freedom of Information Act. “Certain businesses may apply for PD-10 reports using FOIA for specific purposes,” an MPD spokesman explains. Some additional general information is provided to the public through DDOT’s Highway Safety Office. Preliminary crash data for 2014 shows that “serious” injuries to both pedestrians and cyclists rose between 2013 and 2014 (from 348 to 404, and 281 to 356, respectively.)

These maps and charts aren’t meant to give a perfect picture but rather a general idea about where and when crashes occur in D.C. Visit washingtoncitypaper.com/crash2014 to —Sarah Anne Hughes see more visualizations.

Cyclist-Involved Crashes, Late-Night Weekend

All Pedestrian-Involved Crashes

All Cyclist-Involved Crashes

1–5 incidents 6–10 incidents 11–15 incidents 16–20 incidents 21–25 incidents

Pedestrian-Involved Crashes, Weekday Rush 18 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Cyclist-Involved Crashes, Weekday Rush

Maps and charts by Zach Rausnitz.

Design for print by Jandos Rothstein.

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Cyclist-Involved Crashes by Time of Day

Pedestrian-Involved Crashes by Time of Day 20

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Rhode Island Avenue and 4th Street NE ed by volume of traffic), and crash severity (number of injuries and fatalities). (It was just behind 14th and U streets NW and ahead of First Street and Union Station Plaza as well as Minnesota Avenue and Benning Road NE, three other tour stops.) But even with a high ranking on a list determined by CCI, the intersection didn’t crack the top ten on lists of areas that saw pedestrian- or cyclist-involved crashes that year. That dubious honor went to 14th and Columbia Road NW for bicyclists (14 on the CCI list) and New York Avenue and North Capitol Street (21).

The pedestrian- and cyclist-specific lists only use crash frequency data, which alone doesn’t always provide an accurate way of measuring an area’s danger, because it doesn’t take into account exposure (how many vehicles are actually passing through each day?) and contributing factors.

“The number of crashes is important, but… you have to look in a bit more detail about the types of crashes there are,” says Sam Zimbabwe, associate director for DDOT’s Policy, Planning & Sustainability Administration. “You have to get into more detail to find out what the problem is and to see what the solution might be.”

Intersections on New York Avenue, for example, make the list annually because of the high volume of vehicles it serves. It gets trickier to measure the so-called exposure rate for pedestrians and cyclists, because “we don’t have great, reliable information on how many people are biking,” he says.

DDOT pulls police crash reports into its Traffic Accident Reporting and Analysis System, which the agency’s pedestrian and bike

team and its safety team uses for analysis.

Zimbabwe says the data has improved, but the way it’s “reported doesn’t necessarily help us identify the root cause” of crashes.

“From a police report perspective, the fundamental question that they’re usually trying to answer is, who caused it and was a law broken?” he says. “We’re interested in those types of things, but we have this question about exactly what happened so that we can reconstruct and figure out if there’s an engineering improvement that can be made.”

Some of that happens through data or digging deeper into a police report, while other times direct observation is necessary. Some intersections advocate for themselves—in tragic ways. Maryland Avenue and 7th Street NE was retrofitted with plastic bollards and through-traffic was redirected last year after a taxicab driver severely injured a librarian crossing the four-lane street. A high-intensity activated crosswalk, or HAWK, signal was installed at Florida Avenue and 11th Street NE in 2013 after a drunk driver killed a 71-yearold woman leaving a church event.

“If there’s a hot spot, we don’t have to wait for a year to respond to that problem,” Zimbabwe says. DDOT looks for “low-cost or quick improvements that can be made, if there’s some problem with doing a long-term [project] or if something needs to be done very fast.”

“Sometimes those low-cost things don’t feel like to the general public—they’re not the ultimate solution that we would seek, but they’re something we think can be a counter-measure, something that works while we’re setting up a larger project,” he says. Zimbabwe points Continued page 22

20 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Thursday Thursday

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The daily total number of crashes in 2014 by time of day.

8 a.m.

Source: DDOT TARAS

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“DDOT needs to figure out how do they get out there [in] six months and fix some of these issues while long-term planning and engineering happens.”

—Greg Billing, Washington Area Bicyclist Association

to the “Stop for Pedestrians” signs regularly placed in crosswalks: “They get knocked down a lot. I think people get frustrated. ‘Oh those got knocked down, they have to come put them back up, they get knocked down.’”

“They cost us some money, they’re not the cheapest things in the world,” he adds. “But they’re not pedestrians getting hit. So if the cost of alerting people to the fact that they may need to stop for a pedestrian is going back and setting them up every once in awhile and buying some new ones when they get destroyed, that’s a cost we’re willing to take… I don’t think anybody would say that sign is going to protect you if a car doesn’t stop for you. It’s not a refuge island, it’s not something that’s a barrier. It’s something that tries to alert drivers. It’s not a long-term, it’s an interim.”

Long-term solutions, true to their name, take time, and the perceived lack of progress can be frustrating. That’s part of the reason Cheh’s office organized the intersection tours.

The Ward 3 councilmember says while each intersection has its own localized issues, many are plagued by poor timing for crosswalks and lack infrastructure like protected bike lanes to improve cyclist safety. “If not the slowest person on the planet, you have to take into account people who may not be able to sprint across the street,” Cheh says. “The idea is: We’re going to make this list [for] DDOT and pester [them] on ‘what have you done about this?’ and ‘what have you done about that?’”

Advocates also realize they have to be vocal with the agency to make their priorities DDOT’s too. Of the tours, Eileen McCarthy, Ward 3 representative and secretary of the DC Pedestrian Advisory Council, says “it was actually very helpful for me to do it with DDOT and Council staff, and to point out to them what it’s like to be a pedestrian to cross here.”

McCarthy says she understands the concern over how long improvements can take, “and I share it to some extent.” She adds, “I think it’s important that we all follow up and not hound them but there should be regular inquiries from PAC and anybody else concerned about what they’re going to do.”

Greg Billing, executive director of the Washington Area Bicyclist Association, attended a few of the tours as well. “It was a productive conversation,” he says. “It was very strategic to look at the diversity of intersections and landscapes surrounding the community, and really try to understand why they’re on the list of most dangerous… perennially.”

WABA is still pushing for better and more transparent data collection, as well as an increase in short-term fixes and a more expansive look at alternative solutions. There’s no

reason, Billing says, that D.C. can’t install a bike lane, extend a sidewalk, or remove a lane of traffic after a feasibility study is completed and public input is given while long-term improvements are in the works.

“DDOT needs to figure out how do they get out there [in] six months and fix some of these issues while long-term planning and engineering happens,” Billing says, adding that he’s hopeful this is something that will come out of Vision Zero.

“We have a little bit of concern doing something quickly when [it] can’t be done well,” counters Zimbabwe.

Right now, the conversation around pedestrian and cyclist safety is wrapped in a larger one about D.C.’s Vision Zero strategy to end traffic fatalities by 2024. (An action plan is expected sometime this month.) In addition to holding outreach events, DDOT is currently crowdsourcing information about safety concerns on a Vision Zero–branded map.

“Part of what we’re trying to get at with the Vision Zero safety map is: Where do you feel unsafe, and where might people be avoiding because they don’t feel safe, especially from a pedestrian perspective,” he says. “We might not be seeing crashes, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe to bike or walk.”

Part of the struggle is getting people from all parts of the city—especially neighborhoods without sidewalks and bike lanes—to participate. (Six of the 24 intersections on the list ranked by CCI are east of the Anacostia River; two of the intersections that saw the highest number of pedestrian-involved crashes are EOTR, too.) “We’ve got a large representation of people from certain parts of the city, and a little bit lower representation of people from other parts of the city,” he says. “We do see high crash rates at some of those places where people may not be filling out the Vision Zero safety map, but we know there are some issues.”

The map is also helping DDOT get ahead of safety problems before they have to act in a “reactive way” to crash reports, Zimbabwe says. Undeniably, it’s identifying problem areas in the District—a lot of them. (As of this week, more than 4,000 items had been submitted.) Which raises the question: How will DDOT prioritize the concerns?

“I really don’t know if we know yet,” says Zimbabwe. “I don’t know how yet we’re going to take this and involve it with what we’re already doing. One thing I know will help us: When we identify an area that should be addressed, this will give us a way to start a conversation with the general pubCP lic that should resonate.”

22 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Hit Plan

14th Street and Columbia Road NW

No single quadrant contains all of D.C.’s “most dangerous” intersections for pedestrians and cyclists. It’s a sad distinction that belongs to the city’s three largest quadrants. According to a DDOT ranking, the intersections with the highest number of pedestrian-involved crashes in 2014 were New York Avenue and North Capitol Street; Fourth Street and Rhode Island Avenue NE; and (tied) Rhode Island Avenue and Reed Street NE, 24th and M streets NW, and 17th and I streets NW. For cyclists: 14th Street and Columbia Road NW; (tied) 14th and U streets NW and 14th Street and Park Road NW; and (tied) 17th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue NW, 18th Street and Kalorama Road NW, and 18th Street and Adams Mill Road NW. “Safety is the top priority in all we do at DDOT,” says spokesman Keith St. Clair, who provided the below rundown of planned improvements for some of —Sarah Anne Hughes the most crash-prone intersections in D.C. 14th Street and Columbia Road NW “We have bike lane plans that would fill the bike lane gap that exists on 14th Street between Florida Avenue and Columbia Road. The plans need some adjustment before they are finalized.”

Georgia Avenue and W Street NW “There are plans for a dedicated bus lane on Georgia Avenue between Florida Avenue and Barry Place. The plans include a small pocket bike lane at W Street. This is under construction and should be complete within a year.”

Rhode Island Avenue and Fourth Street NE “Improvements planned for this intersection include a High Visibility Crosswalk; wider sidewalks; upgrading traffic control signals and streetlights; new ADA ramps and push button walk signal for ADA compliance; and new pavement markings.

However, DC Water is about to start major construction in this area. That will push the DDOT improvements back a few years.”

Minnesota Avenue and Clay Place NE “Construction has recently begun on the Minnesota Avenue Great Streets Initiative, and improvements at this intersection will include the installation of new pedestrian signs (Stop Here for Pedestrian); a High Visibility Crosswalk; new ADA ramps at all corners; and new pavement markings.”

New York Avenue and North Capitol Street “DDOT did a basic concept plan in the Mid-City East Livability Study last year.

The intersection is complex, and the concept plan proposed simplifying it, but there needs to be more detailed analysis and design. DDOT is currently working on awarding a contract to a consulting team for the design of several intersections, including this one.”

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A More Perfect Union How Union Kitchen’s expansion will affect D.C.’s food scene

There’s also event space and office space for Union Kitchen’s own team, which has At Union Kitchen Grocery, Gatorade grown to 45 people and now includes posishares fridge space with Capital Kombutions like a director of finance and director cha, and Hershey’s bars are within arm’s of marketing. length of Undone Chocolate bars. ’ChOther conveniences of the new space ups fruit ketchups shares shelves with Grey might seem minor but will make life subPoupon. Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes are stored stantially easier on producers. For exambelow Bear’s Made marmalade. What’s lople, electrical cords hang plentifully from cal and what’s not are seamlessly shuffled in the ceilings, and freight elevators mean the Near Northeast shop. bakers don’t have to haul products down a Even as recently as five years ago, you’d flight of stairs for storage and distribution. be hard-pressed to fill even a single shelf There are also conveyor belt dishwashers, with locally made products. If anyone is to which make it possible to do 250 racks of credit for the boom, it’s Union Kitchen. dishes an hour.

When co-founders Jonas Singer and CulThe Ivy City facility opened with 20 len Gilchrist opened the food incubator members to start. NoMa has dropped down in NoMa in 2012, there was nothing quite to 35. Both have room to expand to 50 or like it in D.C. If food entrepreneurs needmore members. And there is certainly deed affordable, professional kitchen space, mand: Union Kitchen gets dozens of inquithey worked off-hours in existing restauries a month from people who want to join, rants or bakeries or hauled out to commeralthough Singer says only one in five is “recial facilities in the suburbs. Today, nearally truly ready to rock and roll.” To actuly 150 businesses have gotten their start or ally become members, business have to go grown through Union Kitchen. Meanwhile, through interviews, meetings, and a memfellow incubators like Mess Hall and Eatbership panel. “It’s almost like a fraternity sPlace have popped up, helping to foster rush,” Singer says. even more local food and drink brands.

For those who are already a part of the The D.C.-made scene will have even more club, the payoff is already big. Undone room to expand with a second $2.25 milChocolate will be able to double its produclion Union Kitchen facility in Ivy City that tion to 5,000 bars a month at the new facilopened two weeks ago. The new digs have ity, where the chocolate maker now has its more than twice the space as the original, Union Kitchen’s new Ivy City facility is twice as big as the original. own dedicated pod. At the NoMa location, allowing members to scale up their busiowner Adam Kavalier’s workspace was on the opposite end of the building and on a nesses. It also helps that Union Kitchen has evolved far beyond a kitchen. It’s now providing financial says. More common are success stories like TaKorean, different floor from his chocolate temperer, which needed RareSweets, Ice Cream Jubilee, Capital Kombucha, to be in a cooler, drier environment. “We were constantly loans, marketing, distribution, retail, and other services. going up and down those stairs,” he says.

“They can make it, move it, sell it all through Union Chaia, and Jrink Juicery.

Pops by Haley founder Haley Raphael will likewise be One of the biggest attractions of the new facility is sheer Kitchen,” says Singer. “Now you can come in and, literally, it’s almost risk-free. If you come to Union Kitch- space: The 16,000-square-foot warehouse features a walk- glad not to have to trek up and down the stairs while proen, you might lose a couple thousand bucks if you totally in freezer and multiple walk-in fridges. “It’s bigger than ducing her cake push pops. But more significant are the fucked it up.” But Singer claims only one Union Kitchen my apartment,” Singer remarks walking into one fridge. free shelves that Union Kitchen is giving members for storbusiness, which he declines to name, has flat-out failed. Upstairs, the wide-open communal space is stocked with ing inventory before distribution. “Now we’re able to get A handful of others have decided not to pursue their food new ovens, mixers, and tables. Downstairs, members can into more stores because there’s room for it,” Raphael says. startups after breaking even or seeing small profits, he rent their own “pod kitchens,” which they can access 24/7. “We’re definitely at a place where we’re going to be growDarrow Montgomery

By Jessica Sidman

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 25

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DCFEED(cont.) ing really quickly, and this kitchen will be able to handle that.”

Meanwhile, Mason Dixie Biscuit Co., which now sells a line of frozen biscuits, moved from Mess Hall to Union Kitchen in March in large part to take advantage of Union Kitchen’s growing distribution network. The service now delivers a few hundred products from 40 to 50 businesses to 65 stores in the area including Whole Foods, Giant, Yes! Organic, and Glen’s Garden Market. This year, Union Kitchen members are on track to distribute more than $1 million in product through the service.

“We were running into a jam trying to transport the stuff. It’s really hard to go to six stores in the same day when you’re still trying to do your job right,” Mason Dixie co-founder Ayeshah Abuelhiga says.

Mason Dixie will be able to grow further with its move to the new Ivy City facility, thanks to its new dedicated space with more storage. “People don’t understand this, but catering takes up a lot of space,” Abuelhiga says. Because needs can fluctuate depending on what orders come in, trying to find enough room in a shared kitchen is “like a giant Jenga/Tetris game.” But with the new setup, Abuelhiga anticipates that Mason Dixie will be able to better navigate the ebb and flow. They’ll also be able to hire more people full-time. “We haven’t been able to really hire for a wholesale production person yet because we’ve been so limited in terms of the hours and capabilities,” Abuelhiga says. But with the new workspace, “they know they can show up to the same place every day, do their job the same way every day, and have a steady salary, which is huge,” she says.

The end result: Mason Dixie will finally be able to follow through with plans to sell its frozen biscuits in Whole Foods. Abuelhiga says they intend to increase production three-fold in the next three months— and 100 times by the end of the year. When Mason Dixie eventually opens a brick-andmortar restaurant, Union Kitchen will remain its wholesale hub.

One of the next big things for Union Kitchen is to use part of its new facility for co-packing and contract manufacturing.

That means businesses could outsource basic tasks like labeling or wrapping a product as well as manufacturing of simple things like tea or pickles to Union Kitchen. Singer is hoping to start beta testing the service by end of the year.

Mason Dixie is among those who’d like to eventually take advantage of a local copacking service. Abuelhiga says there aren’t a lot of frozen co-packers in the U.S., and those that do exist are located in places like Florida, Michigan, and California. “We

would have to haul ourselves out to these states to review the facility, try to figure out what distribution centers pick up from those points, how long it takes to get the product to places, so it’s kind of a pain,” she says.

Union Kitchen initially intended to have another grocery store in Ivy City but ultimately scrapped those plans for more production space. Still, Singer says it’s likely another grocery will be open by this time next year with more to come. It’s a business that requires a bunch of outlets to stay profitable, Singer says. But he also thinks it’s key to building the local-foods ecosystem and providing a bootcamp of sorts for businesses getting into retail for the first time.

“The nice thing is now they’re dealing with us who they can talk to face to face every day as opposed to trying to deal with someone at Whole Foods who they have no connection to,” Singer says. “So it takes a lot of the risk out and allows people to learn quickly so that they actually can be competitive and so that D.C. can actually start exporting products.”

The incubator’s members aren’t automatically guaranteed a spot on the grocery’s shelves. They have to hit certain benchmarks before Union Kitchen Grocery will order the product. “Then it’s the real world,” Singer says. “If the product doesn’t sell, I’m not going to keep buying it.”

Between constructing Union Kitchen Grocery in a historically designated building and running a grocery store for the first time, Singer admits there have been plenty of mistakes along the way. “It’s just hard operationally. It’s a different business,” he says.

And in general, Singer says he hasn’t relied on food incubators in other cities as models. He and his team have navigated their way through trial and error. “You screw up a lot of stuff and people get really mad at you. And you hope that your hair is good enough to get you through it.”

So far, though, Union Kitchen has made itself invaluable to local entrepreneurs. Raphael says her cake pops definitely would not be in any stores at this point without Union Kitchen. “We probably wouldn’t even be around. I would just be doing it in a small capacity like I was originally, operating part-time out of my apartment,” she says.

Abuelhiga also isn’t sure Mason Dixie would exist if it weren’t for D.C.’s food incubators. She expects to see a surge of startups as a result of Union Kitchen’s growth.

“I think it is a national model to be comCP pletely honest,” Abuelhiga says.

Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to jsidman@washingtoncitypaper.com.

Manila clams with Chinese sausage, $18, at Bad Saint, Satisfaction level: 4 out of 5 what we’ll eat next week:

Carrot funnel cake, $9, at 701 Restaurant, Excitement level: 4.5 out of 5

Grazer

Made in d.C.

It’s now possible to buy D.C.-made root beer, chocolate, hot sauce, and much more. But not everything local is created equal. Washington City Paper stocked up on a range of Union Kitchen-made products from Union Kitchen Grocery in Near Northeast for an unscientific taste test. Here are five of our favorites. —Jessica Sidman

District Cheese’s Honey Chèvre $11

What it is: Local honey-infused goat cheese made with pasteurized Trickling Springs Creamery dairy Staff reactions: “Strangely addictive.” “So smooth, heavy on honey.” “Very creamy.”

“Would be eaten up in about 10 seconds if you put it out with your party spread as guests come over.” “Light enough that I would even substitute it for cream cheese.”

What You Should Be Drinking Shrubs have been a buzzword in the craft cocktail realm as of late because of their ability to add a punch of acidity without the use of fresh citrus. Poste Moderne Brasserie head bartender Justin Hampton is so smitten with these vinegar-based syrups that he’s christened a new category of drinks that star shrubs plus a leading liquor, vermouth or bitters, and club soda. “It’s a type of cocktail that I don’t think is being made other places,” he says. “I want it to be its own genre of cocktail, like a sour.” El Parque, combining a watermelon shrub with tequila, is the second iteration of Hampton’s formula. Hampton makes the shrub by vacuum sealing the fruit with sugar and vinegar. He wants tequila fans to be more open-minded: “People who are drinking tequila, they’re not thinking about vinegar as a good pairing,” he says. “They want the classic margarita, they want the salt and the lime—I think vinegar is an awkward drink pairing for traditional tequila drinkers.”

Emma’s Bakeshop’s Chompz! $3.75

What it is: Crispy stamp-sized cheddar crackers Staff reactions: “Like a better Cheez-it, which is a high honor.” “I could eat these all day.

Pair with Champagne.” “The texture was sublime.” “I would easily eat the whole bag by myself while watching TV.”

Sweet Farm Classic Kraut $7.95

What it is: German-style sauerkraut with caraway seeds Staff reactions: “Simple, classic.” “As good as any sauerkraut out there.” “Pleasant amount of tang and crunch.”

Bear’s Made Chili Sauce $6.45

What it is: Sweet, medium spicy sauce with tomatoes, onions, jalapeño, brown sugar, vinegar, and spices Staff reactions: “Heavy on the vinegar with a little kick at the end.” “Would be a good addition to a burger.” “I don’t know what you’re supposed to eat this with, but I would put it on everything. Rice and pulled pork come to mind, but you could also just put it out with some chips. Delicious.”

Where: Made by Broodjes & Bier at Union Kitchen; sold at Chinatown Coffee, Compass Coffee, and markets in D.C. and Virginia.

Price: $9.99 Bread: Rye roll

What: El Parque with Espolón Blanco Tequila, watermelon shrub, Peychaud’s Bitters, club soda, pink peppercorns, and a lavender sprig

Price: $13

What it is: Chocolate bar with 70-percent organic and direct-trade cacao plus sugar cane Staff reactions: “So dark, so good.” “Delicious and allegedly healthy, so I would put this in X-mas stockings.” “Slightly fruity chocolate.” “Some dark chocolate bars go out of their way to make ‘dark’ mean ‘bitter,’ but I thought this balanced it well. It’s very rich and their small bar goes a long way.”

The Sandwich: The Nordic

The best cocktail you’re not ordering

Where: Poste Moderne Brasserie, 555 8th St. NW

Undone Chocolate $7.49

THE’WICHINGHOUR

Underserved

Photo by Laura Hayes

DCFEED

what we ate last week:

Stuffings: Seared Atlantic salmon, pickles, dill-caper spread, arugula

vor that would have been welcome in this sodium-laced sandwich.

Thickness: 1.5 inches

Sloppiness level (1 to 5): 1. Credit the thickly applied dill and caper mayonnaise that acts like glue to keep the salmon and veggies trapped inside. Since the sandwich isn’t very thick, there is very little that could fall out, even when you take a bite.

Pros: The European-inspired sandwich (broodje means sandwich in Dutch) manages to stay fresh despite having been packaged hours earlier. The peppery arugula and crisp pickles give the slightly squishy and salty salmon and mayonnaise combination a bit of crunch and color.

Cons: The bread, while not stale, has an odd, spongy texture that makes it hard to tear and chew. This is likely the result of having sat out prior to being purchased. It also lacks the traditional bitterness of many rye loaves, a fla-

Overall score (1 to 5): 3. The dill gives the sandwich a light herbal flavor when you first bite in, but the fishy flavor of the salmon lingers for a few hours after you finish. A bread with more crunch and flavor would improve this broodje, though it’s still not a bad choice —Caroline Jones for a quick lunch.

Why You Should be Drinking It El Parque is a real looker thanks to its garnishes of pink peppercorns and a lavender sprig from Poste’s courtyard garden. There are non-Instagram reasons to order this drink, too. Despite its Country Time Pink Lemonade shade, El Parque carries more subtle vegetal notes than a predictable fruity blast thanks to the tequila. The watermelon flavor is gentle, as is the vinegar.

Hampton is also correct about its uniqueness—no immediate cocktail comes to mind when trying to make a comparison. El Parque and its iterations are simple on purpose; Hampton’s mission is to have them catch on. “Classic cocktails spread because they could be passed on from bar to bar easily, unlike a nine-ingredient cocktail.”

—Laura Hayes

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 27

©2015 DC SHORTS/DC FILM ALLIANCE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

28 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

CPARTS

Meet City Paper’s new arts editor,

Matt Cohen:

washingtoncitypaper.com/go/neweditor

Dead Ringers

Some D.C. theaters are rethinking their cell phone policies You’ve heard the “Voice of God” announcement as the theater lights begin to dim, requesting that you turn off your cellphone before the show begins. These reminders have become such an integral part of the theater-going experience that we nearly tune them out (not that everyone heeds the request). But not all District theaters want you to put your cell phone away during performances, while others are considering tweaking their policies.

Marketing teams are driving most of these changes— they’re hungry for the free advertising and engagement that social media can bring. But sometimes cell phones are an essential component of the theater performance.

Conceptual artist Brian Feldman’s txt, performed every Sunday at the American Poetry Museum in Brookland, relies on audience members using their phones. When showgoers enter, they receive an anonymous Twitter handle. Feldman then reads aloud whatever tweets get sent from those accounts.

While txt’s use of phones for the actual content of the show is certainly an outlier among performances, it is by no means alone in encouraging audiences to keep their devices out.

Astro Pop Events, which founding member Jei Spatola describes as “burlesque-heavy, theater-lite,” lets audience members keep out their cell phones so they can post live updates about the show they’re seeing.

“We’re pretty loud, so a cell phone wouldn’t interrupt our performance,” Spatola, known onstage as Kittie Glitter, says.

“You wouldn’t even hear it ring.”

Just because a call wouldn’t throw off the performers doesn’t mean that Astro Pop has an uncomplicated relationship with the use of mobile devices.

“It’s a real love-hate relationship, you know?” she says. “Social media absolutely helps us, but we don’t want it to ruin the surprise of the show.” One of Astro Pop’s annual shows, Elvis’ Birthday Fight Club, which Spatola co-hosts and co-writes, has a secret roster of fighters. “The element of surprise is part of the fun for the audience and for us as performers, so the biggest thing we ask is that they don’t give away the winners.”

When Astro Pop members see social media posts that reveal the show’s secrets, they’re put in the awkward position of deciding whether to ask people to take them down, which Spatola says they determine on a case-by-case basis. “We love having people be so excited, but we’re trying to encourage people to think it’s cool to know yourself but not tell other people.”

Potentially spoiling the surprise isn’t the only technology issue that Spatola has encountered. “Every once in a while,

Lauren Heneghan

By Rachel Kurzius

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 29

CPARTS Continued

people will come not just with their phones but with their iPad,” she says. “No matter what, that is just crazy. That’s the equivalent of holding up a shoebox in front of the people behind you.”

Spatola notes that what she calls “real theater” faces a conundrum in figuring out how to deal with cell phone use, or “ultimately, [theater] could be seen as antiquated as silent movies.”

Burlesque performances, though, have to deal with their own unique challenges. “People are willing to be on their phones and take pictures of almost-nude women. I’ve known girls who don’t want to perform anymore because they don’t know what’s happening to those pictures,” Spatola says.

Personal privacy is one reason to ask audiences to put their phones away. Benjamin DuGoff, director of ticket sales and audience services at Studio Theatre, says there are potential legal issues in having people use social media during performances.

“There’s so much intellectual property involved, with the set, with the script itself that we don’t outright own,” DuGoff says. “There’d be a lot of departments that would have to get on board for that.” He says Studio isn’t considering changing its policy on phones, because its small theaters mean that “even a cell phone vibration could be heard not just by patrons but by actors.”

For DuGoff and Studio, the challenge is about finding novel ways of giving that pre-show curtain speech, so audi-

30 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

ences actually pay attention to it and remember to turn off their phones. If a ringer does go off during the performance, though, the offender won’t get the heave-ho. “The level of personal embarrassment is punishment enough,” he says.

Joy Johnson, Shakespeare Theatre Company’s audience services director, agrees that kicking out a audience member whose phone goes off is overkill. Shakespeare Theatre Company has been experimenting with “Twitter Nights,” where people are encouraged to tweet before and after the show, and during intermission. A screen in the lobby compiles the 140character missives.

“We’d love to have conversations with people on Twitter, but our audience doesn’t really tweet so it has not been as successful as we had hoped,” says Johnson. “Our audience is pretty traditional, and they don’t want cell phones. We’re thinking about starting it up again during our Young Professionals Night.”

Johnson says Shakespeare Theatre Company has been talking about doing a “Tweet From Your Seats” night, where people sitting on the mezzanine can use their phones to update social media during a performance.

“It is absolutely a hope to get new audiences from Twitter nights,” Johnson says. “Does it work? I’m not sure. It doesn’t work 100 percent now, but I think it will in the future.”

She notes that not all tweets are good tweets. “When you’re doing a Tweet From Your Seat, you have to be prepared for

criticism,” Johnson says. Just ask companies like J.P. Morgan or McDonald’s, which launched their own hashtags only to find conversations derailed by the uncontrollable nature of social media.

And then there’s the matter of attention. If your eyes are on your screen, you might miss something important.

“Our heavy visual production requires constant attention, so every second you need to be watching,” says Paata Tsikurishvili, CEO and founding artistic director of Synetic Theater. Plus, “our theater has spotty service,” so allowing viewers to use their phones might not even work.

“We want our production to transform people into a different world where they don’t remember their cell phones or anything,” he says. “I understand marketing, but when you come in I want the theater to transform you.”

Studio Theatre’s DuGoff has a similar sentiment. “Theater allows you to leave your world and enter a new one. That’s why people often go to the theater, and we want to honor that.”

The question for theater companies is whether people will be willing to go into that new world if it means not bringing their cell phones along for the ride.

And a tip from Johnson of Shakespeare Theatre Company about those tempted to check a score or Facebook in the middle of a show? “Your face really is glowing in the middle of a CP dark theater. You’re not as stealth as you think.”

Enjoy beer specials and seasonal releases throughout the Oktoberfest season starting Thursday, 9/17: Thursday 9/17 – Guided German language practicing, tasting flight specials and $2 off large format bottles from Schlossbrauerei Stelzer Friday 9/18 – Live Music, $2 off Festbier and Gruner Vetliner Saturday 9/19 – FIRST DAY OF OKTOBERFEST! A day of games and celebration including a cornhole tournament on the roof, stein holding competition and pretzel eating contest. Enjoy live German music and cover bands throughout the day and night! Our retractable roof will be up so we’re celebrating rain or shine!

Follow us on all social media @saufhausdc for updates!

BEAUTY AS BRIGHT AS A ROSE. PASSION AS SHARP AS A KNIFE.

1216 18th St NW, Washington, DC 202-466-3355 | www.saufhausdc.com

GEORGES BIZET / HENRI MEILHAC & LUDOVIC HALÉVY

RAJATON THE BEATLES SEPTEMBER 25 & 26 | CONCERT HALL

“CREATIVE AND INSPIRED… A TRIUMPH!”—New York Arts Review

Photo by Matthew Karas

BESTOF

Sep. 19–Oct. 3 | Opera House KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

Francesca Zambello, Artistic Director Major support for WNO is provided by Jacqueline Badger Mars.

David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of WNO.

KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets are also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of the NSO. Additional support for the 2015-2016 NSO Pops Season is provided by The Honorable Barbara H. Franklin and Mr. Wallace Barnes.

WNO acknowledges the longstanding generosity of Life Chairman Mrs. Eugene B. Casey.

General Dynamics is the Presenting Sponsor of WNO’s 2015-2016 Season.

WNO’s season is presented with the support of Daniel and Gayle D’Aniello.

Support for Carmen is provided by the Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts.

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 31

Arts Desk

washingtoncitypaper.com/go/elireed

Pool Party

D.C. is loaded with skate spots—Pulaski Park (a.k.a. Freedom Plaza) easily ranks on any list of best-loved spots in the U.S.—but it’s famously inhospitable to skaters: Expect to run from Johnny Law or face a ticket and possibly get your board taken (according to veteran skaters in the area) if you’re caught scraping up handrails in National Park-administered areas. Similarly, the Kennedy Center—with its tempting expanses of granite and marble, and perfect-height ledges and fountains— doesn’t allow skating on its plazas.

So imagine my skepticism when I heard the Kennedy Center—native home of opera gloves and $150 ticket prices—would be putting on a 9-day skateboarding, art, and music event called “Finding a Line.”

The term is a reference to the shared theme between improvisational jazz and bowl- and street-skating: improvise an elegant route from A to B. But how legit is this event? Is the estabDeck art Many of the pieces on display are beautiful lishment co-opting a sport they’ve NIMand invitingly textural, but in comparison to BYed hard in the past? Do the opera gloves the live music and skating outside, the area come off? feels like a mausoleum.

They do, for the most part. The Kennedy Center worked with local boarders, skate activists, and artists to construct a $7 beers pool and quarter pipe—among other feaThe Kennedy Center tures like rails, ledges, and ramps—that concessions stand that are open to anyone with a skateboard we know and loathe are (and a signed waiver). Local acts are playthere, unchanged. S ing throughout the week on a stage at the pecial shout-out to the very edge of the bowl—you can skate beloneliest snack stand of tween the bassist and guitarist on your all time, which you will (or won’t) find located way to high-five the singer, which hapalmost underneath pened a few times on opening night— the bleachers. and there’s an indoor exhibit of deck art by Element and Cuba Skate and skate photography by Neftalie Williams.

But those famous fountains are still roped off. Don’t even attempt to grind anything out on them.

Below, a ranking of “Finding a Line”’s opening-night features, from worst to best.

—Emily Q. Hazzard

worst

32 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

best Lauren Heneghan

CPARTS

Eli Reed’s portraits of unrelenting misfortune, now on display at Leica Store DC:

Loud Boyz Their local flavor of punky, screamy hardcore was the perfect jolt of adrenaline to kick off the skating, but it’s likely worth coming back for jazz by Jason Moran and the Bandwagon (pictured), throwback punk from locals Holdfast, or Prince Rama’s performance weirdness.

No BMX bikes, roller blades, or razor scooters

Lights, action Given the sheer number of handheld camera rigs, fisheye lenses, and camera-ready lighting, expect to see this event appear in future video parts. Plus, the iconic building front makes a gorgeous backdrop. Nice job, KC.

Recipe for disaster wisely averted.

Helmets Optional for everyone over age 16.

No loitering!

If you try to stand in an unsanctioned spot to watch the quarter pipe or free skate areas, expect to be shooed along by KC employees. Trigger warning for anyone who’s gotten hassled by authorities for skating in a D.C. plaza.

Girls on board While I saw just one girl skating on opening night, featured skaters include three women and an all-girl crew, plus some gender-inclusive welcome words from Jimmy Pelletier, who emceed the night and helped produce the program.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND PERFORMED BY WAJDI MOUAWAD

Find out what ToDo Today online.

Wed. 9/16 at 6:30pm Landfall Ellen Urbani Mon. 9/21 at 6:30pm The Suicide of Claire Bishop Carmiel Banasky Sat & Sun, 9/26-9/27 10:00am-5:00pm Crafty Bastards Books, shirts, totes, mugs, and more!

Don’t miss the fun!

Mon. 9/28 at 6:30pm Asking for It Kate Harding Wed. 9/30 at 6:30pm The Shift Theresa Brown Wed. 10/7 at 6:30pm Paulina & Fran Rachel B. Glaser & May We Shed These Human Bodies Amber Sparks

“[MOUAWAD] WORKS HIS WAY INTO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SOUL… [SEULS] HAD THE EFFECT OF AN EXPLODING BOMB.” —Le journal de Montreal

September 18 & 19 at 7:30 p.m.

Eisenhower Theater KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets are also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

Major support is provided by A. Huda and Samia Farouki with additional support provided by the Laura Pels International Foundation for Theater.

International Programming at the Kennedy Center is made possible through the generosity of the Kennedy Center International Committee on the Arts.

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 33

BooksSpeed ReadS Around the Block

FAmily ties

Sam Zabel and the Magic Pen

By Dylan Horrocks Fantagraphics, 228 pps.

The Beauty of What Remains Susan Johnson Hadler She Writes Press, 280 pps.

Rampant self-doubt and other real-world obstacles so often encountered by creative types temper the vintage sci-fi weirdness in Sam Zabel and the Magic Pen. New Zealand comics creator Dylan Horrocks’ big (7” by 10”), full-color graphic novel—first serialized roughly in his Atlas anthology and then online—charts a cartoonist’s time- and planet-hopping journey after a case of artist’s block thwarts his work at the drafting table.

Zabel, a family man and also a Kiwi, “hasn’t drawn a comic in years” per expository panels in Magic Pen. Depression and disillusionment with mainstream comics stalls the return of his semi-autobiographical Pickle series and contributes to his blowing scripting deadlines for a lifeless mainstream superhero comic called Lady Night. Frantic, he zones out in front of high-res JPEGs of Pre-Raphaelite artist John William Godward’s paintings. These fussily reproduced figures suggest Horrocks has mastered classical illustration as well as sequential art.

“I’m so sick of writing endless dumb clichés and puerile posturing,” Zabel says during an imaginary chat with Lady Night’s barely dressed heroine. He’s fanatical about the medium, but toggles between nostalgia and frustration. An unambiguous deconstruction of the tropes of superhero monthlies follows as the masked crime-fighter disrobes and seduces Zabel, explaining that her title’s “got nothing to do with clever dialogue… complex plots… deep and meaningful sub-texts or themes.” Horrocks’ critiques of conventional comic storylines are frequent and sometimes feel like a lecture. He romanticizes the past, shunning new comics while fondly gesturing toward a hypothetical stack of Tales to Astonish back issues.

A sneezing fit induces Zabel’s metaphysical leap into the yellowing pages of a 1950s sci-fi comic called The King of Mars. With miles of red rocky terrain and lively Martian congregations, Horrocks pays tribute to DC’s Strange Adventures and the pulpy titles that EC Comics’ William Gaines plotted back then.

On a quest to secure an artist’s pen with purported magical properties, Zabel encounters comely, submissive Venusians and cycloptic monsters; mocks modern comic fandom; and learns that most people stay put on these trips, opting to remain fixed “inside a wish-fulfillment fantasy forever.” This commentary ironically follows Sam’s imagined multi-page orgy with said Venusians, but even a Mars dust storm couldn’t temper Horrocks’ consternation at the industry’s

In her memoir The Beauty of What Remains, Susan Johnson Hadler finds friends in strangers—members of her late father’s World War II battalion and his childhood friends and long-lost relatives—whose stories help her to better understand her own life. As a psychologist, Hadler is expert at drawing connections, providing details, and explaining how she feels. But at times she’s too close to the story; it feels more like self-therapy than a book written for an audi-

timeworn sexism and recycled ideas.

But in artful page layouts and a well-built framework for his observations, Horrocks’ deep love for comics is just as apparent in Sam Zabel. It’s here; it’s in his old work; and it’s in “Inventing Comics,” his 2001 essay for The Comics Journal that decried presenting “one way of reading an infinitely complex landscape” or adopting any single text or idea “as a manifesto” for how to think about the form.

In an expansive new assemblage of nearly three decades’ worth of Horrocks’ minicomics, commissioned illustrations, and more— called Incomplete Works—an early, blocked iteration of Sam Zabel pops up in the 1997 strip “Bachelor Cartoonist.” His black oval eyes looked panicked back then, too, and are rarely drawn without a single curved stroke beneath each of them, set under a damp forehead and disheveled hair. For years, Horrocks had featured Zabel in a comic called Pickle that was later culled in Hicksville, a revered and similarly probing book that hop-scotched from real-time to other people’s’ comics within its pages. In “Bachelor Cartoonist,” Zabel monitors the clock and cites a dearth of inspiration for his failure to produce any work. That theme would broaden and come to haunt him years later in this big graphic novel, but neither creative block nor watereddown mainstream tropes seem to curtail his enthusiasm for comics. And the same goes for —Dominic Umile Dylan Horrocks.

Horrocks visits Politics & Prose on Sept. 18.

34 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

ence. She spells out every step of her journey and her every thought as if it were her journal. The reader understands it is important for Hadler to learn about her family’s past but isn’t completely convinced that they should care too.

When Hadler is only a few months old, her father is blown apart by a mine in Germany, just as the war comes to a close. Hadler’s mother remarries and gives birth to five more children, firmly closing the door to her first marriage behind her. Her silence is her armor, but it creates a deep hole in her first daughter. Hadler carries a sense that she does not fully belong in her family for 50 years, until Veterans Day of 1992, when she witnesses

people openly mourning at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial; their display of grief after her decades of silence feels like a “caress,” and she vows to end the silence and discover her father. Hadler’s search takes her from her home in D.C. to France and Germany, where her father lived the last months of his life, and to a little town in Wisconsin, where he grew up and she was born.

The reader does not fully comprehend why Hadler longs to know people who knew her father and mother in the past but are complete strangers to her—a question that the author poses herself but never answers satisfactorily. This may be because readers don’t learn enough about Hadler in the years leading up to her journey—how the hole created by her mother’s silence affected her growth. The glimpses we do get are strong, but scarce: “During our weekly spelling test, when my third grade teacher called out the word ‘mine,’ I froze and then wrote the word in tiny letters. It was a word that spelled death.”

This is not Hadler’s first book, but her style reveals that writing has not been her sole pursuit. Her prose is often overly sentimental and full of clichés. The dialogue of the book feels forced at times and makes her characters, including herself, feel robotic and rehearsed.

She leans too much on letters or historical documents and provides unnecessary details about events, which alienate the reader and bog down the flow of the narrative.

But Hadler does have skill as a writer. Her work is strongest when she recalls a specific memory or scene from her travels: “Sea gulls floated and dropped and swooped…

The gull rose and cleared the rim of chalk cliffs, cliffs that curved around the edge of the sea and thinned like a line of soldiers marching into the horizon.” And Hadler has done her homework, as the book’s history of World War II and state mental hospitals before deinstitutionalization in the 1970s is rich and vivid. She effectively revives and transports the reader to the past, such as the camp where her father lived in France: “It was a place where soldiers, prisoners, women, and men were thrown together at the edge of war, a temporary place, buildings were temporary, relationships were temporary, lives were temporary.”

By the end of the book, as the title reveals, Hadler has found beauty in what remains of her father and her other lost relatives. Her story is inspirational for anyone who has ever been met with silence when they asked about their family’s past. The reader is left with a promise that, while disrupting that quiet may be initially, and inevitably, painful, perseverance and being present to what surrounds us—even that which is invisible—will fill any holes we possess with a transformational sense of belonging. —Natalie Villacorta Hadler visits the Potter’s House on Oct. 17

16 Sones de México

Celebrate Mexico’s Independence Day with the Grammy Award®–nominated sextet.

Part of Homegrown: The Music of America.

IN THE TERRACE THEATER

competition rooms

17 Comedy at the Kennedy Center:

Kate Berlant*

Berlant was recently praised by the New York Times as a “magnetic improvisational comic.”

John F. O’Donnell opens.

corporate team building

This program contains mature themes and strong language.

Note: this program will be streamed live but will not be archived.

dupont circle

IN THE CONCERT HALL

Teams of 2 up to 35

with one goal - getting out!

EVERY DAY AT 6 P.M. | NO TICKETS REQUIRED*

18 NSO Prelude

The National Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Roderick Cox, previews its 2015–2016 season.

*Unless noted otherwise

David and Alice Rubenstein Underwriters of the NSO.

#MSTAGE365

SEPTEMBER 15–29 Women’s Voices Theater Festival

The citywide Women’s Voices Theater Festival (womensvoicestheaterfestival.org) is dedicated to featuring work by female playwrights and highlighting the scope of plays being written by women.

15 Eleven Reflections on September

Written and directed by Andrea Assaf, this is a poetry-based multimedia performance on Arab American experience, Wars on/of Terror, and “the constant, quiet rain of death amidst beauty” that each autumn brings in a post-9/11 world.

19 SEPIA SCULPTRESS: The Life

are

the

Presenting

20 Sam Post

The pianist/composer weaves wit and commentary into his program of folk- and American-themed 20th and 21st century piano music.

22

James A. Johnson Young Artist Series: “The Jam Session”

A showcase of some of the District’s most talented young DJs, MCs, poets, hip-hop dancers, and B-boys and B-girls.

Presented in collaboration with Words Beats & Life.

23 National Youth Orchestra of Uruguay

The internationally known group performs a spirited program.

24 The Down Hill Strugglers / John

Cohen / Jerron “Blindboy” Paxton

and Trials of Edmonia Lewis

Written and performed by Caroline Stephanie Clay, this is a look at the life of the 19th century African American and Native American sculptor who lived in the post–Civil War era.

IN THE THEATER LAB

21 (All) Women’s Voices: A Conversation

About Intentionality and Inclusion*

With an introduction by Kennedy Center President Deborah F. Rutter, this panel features theater professionals in a dialogue about making space for women’s intersectional identities both onstage and behind the scenes.

28 Women of Welders 2.0

A showcase of work by the women of the second generation of D.C.’s own Playwrights’ Collective.

30 We speak their names…a tribute

to Warrior Women!

Goldie Patrick leads the young women of FRESHH Inc. in a tribute to warrior women artists Nina Simone, Pearl Cleage, and MC Lyte in a high-energy performance of music, dance, and hip-hop theater.

A celebration of Alan Lomax & The Folk Music Collections at the Library of Congress.

Part of Homegrown: The Music of America.

25 Williamsburg Salsa Orchestra

Free dance lesson at 5 p.m. followed by performance at 6 p.m featuring new arrangements of indie pop and opera tunes.

26 Machiko Ozawa

Ozawa, the S&R Foundation’s newest Artist-inResidence and violinist from Urban Tango Trio, is joined by pianist Carlos Avila for a vibrant program of Tango music and more.

27 Semilla Cultural

The organization presents a performance of bomba, in which the drummer simultaneously interprets the improvised dancer’s movements in the drum. Free dance lessons at 5 p.m.

29 Maarja Nuut

The young fiddler and singer from Northern Estonia combines traditional dance tunes, songs, and stories with live electronics.

Free general admission tickets will be distributed in the States *Gallery starting at approximately 5:30 p.m., up to two tickets per person.

FOR DETAILS OR TO WATCH ONLINE, VISIT KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG/MILLENNIUM. The Millennium Stage was created and underwritten by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs to make the performing arts accessible to everyone in fulfillment of the Kennedy Center’s mission to its community and the nation.

Additional funding for the Millennium Stage is provided by The Isadore and Bertha Gudelsky Family Foundation, Inc., The Meredith Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Dr. Deborah Rose and Dr. Jan A.J. Stolwijk, U.S. Department of Education, and the Millennium Stage Endowment Fund.

The Millennium Stage Endowment Fund was made possible by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs, Fannie Mae Foundation, James V. Kimsey, Gilbert† and Jaylee† Mead, Mortgage Bankers Association of America and other anonymous gifts to secure the future of the Millennium Stage.

Kennedy Center education and related artistic programming is also made possible through the generosity of the National Committee for the Performing Arts and the President’s Advisory Committee on the Arts.

PLEASE NOTE: There is no free parking for free performances.

DAILY FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS 5–6 P.M. NIGHTLY • GRAND FOYER BARS

TA K E M E T R O t o t h e F o g g y B o t t o m / GWU station and ride the free Kennedy Center shuttle departing every 15 minutes until midnight.

GET CONNECTED! Become a fan of KCMillenniumStage on Facebook and check out artist photos, upcoming events, and more!

The Kennedy Center welcomes persons with disabilities.

ALL PERFORMANCES AND PROGRAMS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE.

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 35

36 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITYLIST

Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37 Galleries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 0 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 2 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44

SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com

Music

Friday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Langhorne Slim and the Law, Twain. 8 p.m. $20. 930.com. blaCk Cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490.

Mac Sabbath, Rote. 9 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Lou Barlow, Paint Branch. 7 p.m. $15. dcnine.com.

RoCk & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Gin Wigmore, Patrick Park. 9 p.m. (Sold out) rockandrollhoteldc.com. u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Chelsea Wolfe, Wovenhand. 6:30 p.m. $18. ustreetmusichall.com.

Funk & R&B HowaRD tHeatRe 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Lizz Wright. 8 p.m. $39.50–$75. thehowardtheatre.com.

ElEctRonic GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Nadis Warrior, Box Era, In the Presence of Wolves.

9 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com. u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Zimmer and Crazy P, Jacques Renault. 10:30 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

Jazz MR. HenRy’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Kevin Cordt Quartet. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

PORCHES

Fall is almost here and for some, falling leaves and chillier weather might bring back nostalgic college memories of moody bands grooving on a makeshift stage. Luckily, Comet Ping Pong can return you to those grungy days with a triumvirate of moving, dreamy rock groups. Porches sets off the night with Aaron Maine’s darkly electronic and fuzzy ballads that grow deeper and more complicated as time goes on. He defines himself as “dark muscle” and it shows on somber and heavy songs like “Leather.” Where Porches stretches out its lyrics, co-headliner Witch Coast sounds choppier and more jarring. The trio touts no mastering, overdubs or production on its tracks. The vocals seem like they’re shouted underwater, conjuring memories of the sleepy angst you might have felt during a fall semester years ago. Porches performs with Witch Coast and Sitcom at 10 p.m. at Comet Ping Pong, 5037 Connecticut Ave. NW. $12. (202) 364-0404. cometpingpong.com.

—Jordan-Marie Smith

WoRld

Jazz

boSSa biStRo 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088.

Dubwise featuring Dutty Bookman, Ras Biruk, Hya Dream, and Fasimbas Afrikan Vanguard Dub Sound.

10 p.m. $5. bossproject.com.

MR. HenRy’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Natalie Jean. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

saturday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Heartless Bastards, Alberta Cross. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com. blaCk Cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Titus Andronicus, Spider Bags, Baked. 9 p.m. $16–$18. blackcatdc.com.

RoCk & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Dengue Fever. 8 p.m. $14–$16. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

ElEctRonic u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Recondite, DJs Lisa Frank and Ron Jackson.

10:30 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

utopia baR & GRill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Ed Hahn Quintet. 9:30 p.m. utopiaindc.com.

Elijah’s Quintet. 11:00 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Nick Diamonds, Small Feet. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com.

GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Kathryn Calder, Adam Ezra. 8 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com.

Folk

u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Melanie Martinez, Handsome Ghost. 7 p.m.

(Sold out) ustreetmusichall.com.

GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Mipso, Dan Mills. 9 p.m. $12–$15. gypsysallys.com.

Funk & R&B

opERa

boSSa biStRo 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. The Beat Fairy. 8 p.m. Free. bossproject.com.

kenneDy CenteR MillenniuM StaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington National Opera Preview. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

ElEctRonic

sunday

HowaRD tHeatRe 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

The Orb. 8 p.m. $25–$60. thehowardtheatre.com.

RoCk & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Godflesh. 8 p.m. $35. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Rock

blaCk Cat baCkStaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Goodnight Texas, The Firnats. 7:30 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com.

u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. EDX, Croatia Squad, Mlem, Khaleel. 10 p.m. $10–$20. ustreetmusichall.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 37

Jazz utopia baR & GRill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Sherryl Jones, Wayne Wilentz. 9:30 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

Zoo baR 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Mike Flaherty’s Dixieland Direct Jazz Band.

7:30 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

WoRld kenneDy CenteR MillenniuM StaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. 123 Andrés. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. tRopiCalia 2001 14th St. NW. (202) 629-4535.

Ustad Eltaf Hussain Sarahang. 9 p.m. Free. tropicaliadc.com.

Monday

tuesday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Eagles of Death Metal, Jesika Von Rabbit. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. blaCk Cat baCkStaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Doubleclicks, Joseph Scrimshaw, Molly Lewis. 7:30 p.m. $12–$15. blackcatdc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. ON AN ON, Eliot Sumner, Dosh. 8:30 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com.

HowaRD tHeatRe 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Saxon, Armored Saint, Mindmaze. 7 p.m. $27.50–$62.50. thehowardtheatre.com.

RoCk & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Holly Miranda. 8 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Jazz utopia baR & GRill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Lyle Link Trio. 9:30 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

Rock

countRy

blaCk Cat baCkStaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Anousheh, Sara Curtin, Louis Weeks.

7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.

GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Corb Lund, Whitehorse. 8:30 p.m. $15–$20. gypsysallys.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Crooks on Tape, Time Is Fire, Bob Schriner. 9 p.m. $10. dcnine.com.

HowaRD tHeatRe 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Reverend Horton Heat, the Adicts, the Creepshow.

8 p.m. $20–$45. thehowardtheatre.com.

Folk

WoRld boSSa biStRo 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088.

Terakaft, Cheick Hamala Diabate’s Griot Street. 8 p.m. $10. bossproject.com.

Wednesday Rock

RoCk & Roll Hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Joan Shelley, Justin Trawick, Dear Creek, Annie Stokes.

7:30 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Catfish and The Bottlemen, Jamie N Commons. 7 p.m. $25.

930.com.

classical

BluEs

kenneDy CenteR MillenniuM StaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The U.S. Navy Band Commodores. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. B.B. King Birthday Bash featuring Ron Holloway, Linwood Taylor, Bobby Thompson, Eli Cook, and Sol Roots.

8 p.m. $12–$16. gypsysallys.com.

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

TITUS ANDRONICUS After handling the Civil War a few years ago on The Monitor, New Jersey indie-punk stompers Titus Andronicus have moved on to the really heavy stuff: manic-depression.

The Most Lamentable Tragedy, the band’s new saga about frontman Patrick Stickles, clocks it at more than an hour and a half.

Crafted as a five-act rock opera, the album features covers of songs by similarly depressive musicians Daniel Johnson and the Pogues, and explores the highs and lows of Stickles’ emotional turmoil. To give the album an even more theatrical bent, the band has also created videos to accompany each act. But this epic trip to the therapist’s couch hasn’t taken away Titus’ penchant for bangers about staying up way too late and drinking way too much. Also still around: the frenzied dancing those songs inspire. See you in the pit.Titus Andronicus performs with Spider Bags and Baked at 9 p.m. at the Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. $16–$18. (202) 667-4490. blackcatdc.com.

—Will Sommer

38 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

---------3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

Sept 12

THE MANHATTANS featuring Gerald

Alston

15

THU 10 MIMICKING

“Spectrum 40”

LYFE JENNINGS

16 with sp. guest DONNELL

RAWLINGS

DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM 18 BILL KIRCHEN & Too Much Fun and JUMPIN’ JUPITER 17

19 From France 20

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc SEPTEMBER SHOWS

KING’S X BILLY COBHAM Kings of Spade

14

1811 14TH ST NW

Trio Caliente WMAL welcomes

LARRY GATLIN & THE GATLIN BROTHERS The 23 STEVE EARLE & THE DUKES Mastersons Marie 24 JOHN ONDRASIK Miller

of FIVE FOR FIGHTING with Quartet

Funk Soul Symphony MAYSA & Her 30 NERDS and MUSIC An Evening with JOEL HODGSON, PAT ROTHFUSS, PAUL & STORM

FRI 11 FRI 11 SAT 12

JOSÉ JAMES

2 3

GOODNIGHT, TEXAS

AARON NEVILLE 6 MELODY GARDOT 9 KENNY LATTIMORE 10&11 THE WHISPERS Vance 15 the subdudes Gilbert 16 HAL KETCHUM & SUZY BOGGUSS 17 KEIKO MATSUI 18 HERMAN’S HERMITS featuring PETER NOONE 20 THE WAILIN’ JENNYS 21

MICHAEL McDONALD

ANOUSHEH

TUE 15 THE NERD NIGHT OUT TOUR

THE DOUBLECLICKS

THU 17

FAULTS

FRI 18

STORY LEAGUE

SAT 19

COMMON PEOPLE

WED 23 FRI 25

FALL CHAMPIONSHIP

DANCE PARTY WITH DJ LIL’E

JOYCE MANOR EL TEN ELEVEN

LOW MON 28 FIDLAR

NOAH GUNDERSEN

METALACHI

EVERY WEEKEND AT 7PM

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

TEN FORWARD

Dr. Who HAPPY HOUR

EP. PER WEEK

1 EPISODE pER WEEK plus drink specials

A HAPPY HOUR 1 STAR TREK:TNG

ROMULAN ALE SPECIALS

FRI SEPTEMBER 11TH LIZZ WRIGHT CD RELEASE SHOW

SAT SEPTEMBER 12TH POINT BREAK LIVE!

SUN SEPTEMBER 13TH

THE ORB

MON SEPTEMBER 14TH REVEREND HORTON HEAT & THE ADICTS

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS THE CREEPSHOW

TUE SEPTEMBER 15TH

SAXON & ARMORED SAINT

FRI SEPTEMBER 18TH

COMEDY AT THE HOWARD:

TOM SEGURA

FRI SEPTEMBER 18TH (LATE)

SAT 26

OCT 9

5

90S HIP HOP / POP JAMZ

MON 14

PAT McGEE & FRIENDS

4

TITUS ANDRONICUS

SUN 13

OCT 3

HIROSHIMA

CHURCH NIGHT (21+)

FRESH TO DEATH

The Music of Billie Holiday

Brian Dunne

MAC SABBATH

SAT 12

25

Nao Oct 1 Yoshioka “Yesterday I Had The Blues”

BIRDS

NOW OPEN at 5pm M-F!

THE INTERNET

SAT SEPTEMBER 19TH

CHANTE MOORE TUES SEPTEMBER 22ND

KY-MANI MARLEY FRI SEPTEMBER 25TH

ERIC ROBERSON FRI SEPTEMBER 25TH (LATE)

BLACK UHURU

SAT SEPT 26TH & MON SEPT 28TH WHUR PRESENTS: 2 NIGHTS OF

LALAH HATHAWAY

HOSTED BY WHUR'S TONY RICHARDS

Sunday Brunch!

RED ROOM & LUCKY CAT PINBALL

TAKE METRO!

9/13

FT. INTERNATIONAL RECORDING ARTIST SAXOPHONIST BRIAN LENAIR

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

9/20

FT. JONATHAN NELSON

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 39

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY UPTOWN BLUES

HAPPY HOUR M-F • 4-8 1/2 Priced APPetizers Fri. Sept. 11 Sookey Jump BlueS Band Sat. Sept. 12 Smokin’ polecatS Fri. Sept. 18 moonShine Society Sat. Sept. 19 Stacy BrookS BlueS Band Fri. Sept. 25 Swamp keeperS Band The Red

Sat. Sept. 26 Bruce ewan haRmonica King Sundays mike Flaherty’S

dixieland direct Jazz Band

3000 Connecticut Avenue, NW

“BLOOD MIRROR”

For the squeamish among us, seeing oneself reflected in a seven-foot-tall monolith filled with blood can be quite off-putting. New York-based artist and filmmaker Jordan Eagles pressures viewers to confront their discomfort with his new installation at the American University Museum. “Blood Mirror” responds to the Food and Drug Administration’s policy that prevents gay and bisexual men from donating blood, a decision that grew out of the AIDS crisis. Eagles worked with nine men—among them an openly gay priest, an Army captain who was dismissed under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” but was later reinstated, a gay man whose straight twin brother is eligible to donate, and the CEO of GMHC, one of the nation’s first AIDS service organizations—and asked them to donate blood for this project, since they are limited from donating to save lives. Accompanying the sculpture is Leo Herrera’s film chronicling the project’s development and creation, allowing both the artist and the participants to raise their voices, in addition to their bodies, in protest. The exhibition is on view Tuesdays through Sundays 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., to Oct. 18, at the American University Museum, 4400 Massachusetts Ave. NW. Free.

—Caroline Jones (202) 885-1300. american.edu/museum.

(across from the National Zoo)

202-232-4225 zoobardc.com

JANELIA SOUL Friday Sept. 11 - URBAN FUNK Saturday Sept. 12 - THE JET AGE

Thursday Sept. 10 -

Sunday Sept.13

THE COMBS w/ PASSING PHASES AND THEE LEXINGTON ARROWS Monday Sept. 17 - CHRIS TRAPPER Tuesday Sept. 18 - ALAN SCOTT Thursday Sept. 20

BACH TO ROCK STUDENT SHOWCASE - free show!

Sunday Sept.23

THE SHED BAND

BENEFIT CONCERT FOR THE O’BRIEN FAMILY

OPEN MIC NIGHT Monday Sept. 24- WOODY RUSSEL TRIO Tuesday Sept. 25- PEBBLE TO PEARL

Folk

Funk & R&B

MaDaM’S oRGan 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. Bob Perilla’s Big Hillbilly Bluegrass. 9 p.m. Free. madamsorgan.com.

blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Timotha Lanae. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $22.50. bluesalley.com.

WoRld boSSa biStRo 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088.

Roberto Jr. 10 p.m. $5. bossproject.com. kenneDy CenteR MillenniuM StaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Sones de México Ensemble.

6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

thursday

u StReet MuSiC Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Pearson Sound, Ron Morelli, Beautiful Swimmers, Refugee. 9 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

Pearson Sound, Ron Morelli, Beautiful Swimmers, Refugee. 9 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

countRy MR. HenRy’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. By & By. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

Rock

Folk

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Ride. 7 p.m. $35. 930.com. Ride, DIIV. 7 p.m. $35. 930.com.

GypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Suzie Brown, Scot Sax. 7 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

biRCHMeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Dave Mason’s Traffic Jam. 7:30 p.m. $55. birchmere.com.

Galleries

blaCk Cat baCkStaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Faults, the North Country. 7:30 p.m. $10–$12. blackcatdc.com. boSSa biStRo 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088.

Kid Is Qual, Anexo Social, Time Is Fire. 9:30 p.m. $5. bossproject.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Until the Ribbon Breaks, Lightwaves, Sir EU. 8:30 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

40 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

ElEctRonic

1200 FiRSt St. ne 1200 First St. NE. OngOing: “David Bellard.” Muralist David Bellard draws inspiration from the NoMA neighborhood for this new installation that features photos of the neighborhood’s architecture.

Sept. 3–Nov. 27. aRlinGton aRtS CenteR 3550 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 248-6800. arlingtonartscenter.org. OngOing: “Play.” Games and toys are examined through the lens of contemporary art in this group show that aims to engage viewers of all ages. July 11–Oct. 10. OngOing: “Perspectives in Two Cities.” Teen photographers present the work they created during a summer

institute that taught them the basics of the medium, in this exhibition co-presented with Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. Aug. 21–Oct. 25. OngOing: “Resident Artist Group Show.” Resident artists at the arts center present a variety of work at this show curated by Caitlin Tucker-Melvin. Aug. 29–Oct. 11. tHe atHenaeuM 201 Prince St., Alexandria. (703) 548-0035. nvfaa.org. Opening: “The Athenaeum Invitational.” Based on the theme of Cole Porter’s “Don’t Fence Me In,” this exhibition features works solicited from invitations and open calls. Sept. 10–Oct. 25. bRentwooD aRtS exCHanGe 3901 Rhode Island Ave., Brentwood. (301) 277-2863. arts.pgparks.com.

OngOing: “The Art of the Tale.” After winning Project America’s Next Top Master Artist contest, Cheverlybased artist Cornett presents a variety of paintings and drawings, some inspired by fairy tales and poems, in this solo show. Aug. 31–Oct. 24. OngOing: “Allen Alexopulos.” Wood-turning artist Alexopulos presents a variety of pieces crafted from tree species native to central Maryland, wood that otherwise would have been destroyed or burned, in this window exhibition.

Aug. 31–Oct. 24.

CRoSS MaCkenZie GalleRy 2026 R St. NW. (202) 333-7970. crossmackenzie.com. OngOing: “Walter McConnell.” A variety of works by the Belmont, N.Y.based ceramic artist, presented concurrently with the Katzen Arts Center’s show of McConnell’s work.

Sept. 2–Sept. 27.

DC aRtS CenteR 2438 18th St. NW. (202) 462-7833. dcartscenter.org. Opening: “Studio Sacrilege.” Artists Amy Hughes Braden, Roxana Geffen, and Jackie Milad reuse some of their already painted canvases to create new work in this exhibition that causes spectators to question the creative process. Sept. 11–Oct. 11. OngOing: “Small Worlds.” Textural and detailed works on paper by Rebecca Grace Jones. July 24–Oct. 25.

GoetHe-inStitut waSHinGton 812 7th St. NW. (202) 289-1200. www.goethe.de/washington. Opening: “Surveillance Blind.” This group exhibition asks American and German artists to consider the digital footprints we leave and the people who have access to the information we leave behind and create work in response to that. Sept. 17–Dec. 3.

GReateR ReSton aRtS CenteR 12001 Market St., Ste. 103, Reston. (703) 471-9242. restonarts.org.

Opening: “Ephemeral.” Area sculptors present a variety of work that comments on the temporary nature of art. Featured artists include Millicent Young, Artemis Herber, Elissa Farrow-Savos, Elizabeth Burger, and Diane Szczepaniak. Sept. 10–Nov. 14.

$10 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M

TRIVIA EVERY M O N D AY & W E D N E S D AY

$3 PBR & NATTY BOH ALL DAY EVERY DAY

HillyeR aRt SpaCe 9 Hillyer Court NW. (202) 3380680. hillyerartspace.org. OngOing: “Under the Sun.” Recent work by 14 artists affiliated with Sol Print Studios, a Baltimore printmaking studio dedicated to solar plate etching. Sept. 4–Sept. 26. OngOing: “Novie Trump.” New work inspired by archaeology and intertwined relationships by Arizona-based sculptor Novie Trump. Sept. 4–Sept. 26. OngOing: “Sue Grace.” New paintings by Arlington-based artist Sue Grace.

Sept. 4–Sept. 26.

600 beers from around the world

HonFleuR GalleRy 1241 Good Hope Road SE. (202) 365-8392. honfleurgallery.com. Opening: “How We Lost DC.” Members of the Delusions of Grandeur collective comment on the gentrification of D.C. and its impact on life in the city in this new group exhibition. Sept. 11–Oct. 31.

DOORS AT 730PM SHOW AT 830PM

i StReet GalleRieS 200 I St. SE. (202) 724-5613. dcarts.dc.gov. OngOing: “AFP16 Visual Arts Exhibition.” Participants in the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities’ Artist Fellowship Program showcase their work at the District’s first operated public gallery.

Aug. 14–Sept. 30.

Downstairs: good food, great beer: $3 PBR & Natty Boh’s all day every day *all shows 21+ THURS, SEPTEMBER 10TH

UNDERGROUND COMEDY FRI, SEPTEMBER 11TH

ELLIE QUINN /VCVARIETY PRESENT CARRY ON MY WAYWARD BRA DOOR AT 8PM SHOW AT 10PM

S AT, S E P T E M B E R 1 2 T H

CYN FACTORY PRESENTS WIBBLYWOBBLY PASTIEWAISTY DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 10 & FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 11 GRAMMY AWARD WINNER, BLUEGRASS LEGEND

RALPH STANLEY & THE CLINCH MOUNTAIN BOYS SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 12

THE SHIRELLES

WITH BEVERLY LEE & COMEDIAN BILLY FINCH

SUN, SEPTEMBER 13TH

SCIENCE COMEDY

DOORS AT 6PM SHOW AT 7PM MON, SEPTEMBER 14TH

DISTRICT TRIVIA STARTS AT 730PM

TUES, SEPTEMBER 15TH

LAST RESORT COMEDY DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM WED, SEPTEMBER 16TH

DISTRICT TRIVIA STARTS AT 730PM

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

THE LIES OF THE VICTORS Ever since Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman grew their hair to play Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in All the President’s Men, movie studios have cranked out highstakes thrillers about investigative journalists, those hardworking scribes who will stop at nothing to tell the truth. In Germany, a nation similarly concerned with the pursuit of truth, a recent contribution to this genre is The Lies of the Victors, which follows a pair of reporters as they try to determine why a veteran committed suicide by jumping into the lion enclosure at the zoo. When their research leads them to a toxic chemical plant, those in power begin to fight back, leaving the journalists racing to get their stories out before they’re silenced. The film screens at the Goethe-Institut as part of its “Surveillance Blind” series, which examines the impact of government surveillance on the activities of people around the world. Keep your guard up: You never know who’s watching. The film shows at 6:30 p.m. at Goethe-Institut Washington, 812 7th St. NW. $4–$7.

—Caroline Jones (202) 289-1200. washington.goethe.de.

THURS, SEPTEMBER 17TH

UNDERGROUND COMEDY DOORS AT 730PM SHOW AT 830PM FRI, SEPTEMBER 18TH

HOT NIGHT PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS DOOR AT 8PM SHOW AT 10PM

S AT, S E P T E M B E R 1 9 T H

BLACK MARKET PRESENTS

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 13

ANA POPOVIC

M 14 DARYL DAVIS PRESENTS: LAURA BARON - NO COVER TU 15 JOHNATHAN SCALES FOURCHESTRA TH 17 ALGEBRA BLESSETT

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM

F 18

MARCUS JOHNSON

SUN, SEPTEMBER 20TH

S 19

JOE CLAIR COMEDY SHOW 7PM + 10PM SHOWS

DC KINGS FINAL SHOW POST-APOCALYPTIC DOORS AT 6PM SHOW AT 7PM

1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 41

CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

TERAKAFT

GW LISNER PRESENTS

Terakaft are a Tuareg family band that play their trance-like desert blues both around campfires in the Sahara and at clubs around the world. The group, whose name means “caravan” in Tamasheq, was founded in northern Mali by guitarist Sanou Ag Ahmed in 2001. He was joined in 2006 by his guitar-playing uncle Diara, who had been an original member of pioneering desert band Tinariwen, and in 2008 by Abdallah Ag Ahmed, Sanou’s younger brother. Terakaft’s new album, Alone, lyrically reflects the troubling political situation of the Tuareg, blamed by some for the terrorists who infiltrated northern Mali (many Tuareg now live in exile). While many songs feature chanted vocals that reflect their despair, a few express hope that things will improve. One doesn’t need to understand the words to grasp the music, as the stringwork has a mesmerizing feel. Drawing inspiration from Tuareg traditions, John Lee Hooker, and Dire Straits, their picked and strummed rhythmic style feels sui generis. Terakaft performs with Cheick Hamala Diabate’s Griot Street at 8 p.m. at Bossa Bistro, 2463 18th St. NW. $10. (202) 667-0088. bossadc.com.

—Steve Kiviat

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Bohemian Caverns Tuesdays Artist in Residency

Brad Linde

(various groups)

PT SE

DC’s Legendary Jazz Club

Established in 1926 2001 11th ST NW - (202)299-0800

Justin Kauflin

Jesse Fischer Day Dreamer Release Thur Oct 1st

Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra Mondays @ 8pm

(from Keep on Keeping On) Fri & Sat Sept 4th & 5th

"This group is something special." ~ Mike West (CityPaper)

Matthew ShippSun Michael Bisio Sept 6 presented in conjunction w/ Transparent Productions

Christian Scott

aTunde Adjuah

Stretch Music Album Release Fri & Sat Sept 18th & 19th

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Salutes DC Thur Sept 24

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The Thing

Sun presented in conjunction w/ Sept 27th Transparent Productions

Zedicus

& Abyssinian Roots Dutty Bookman Fri Sept 4th

Lucky So n So Sat Sept 12 JoGo Project

th

Nappy Riddem Sat Sept 19th

WonderFull™ DJ Spinna Jahsonic

www.BohemianCaverns.com 42 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Sat 0th 1 Oct

www.LivDC.com

MontpelieR aRtS CenteR 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. arts.pgparks.com. OngOing: “Come Together.” Friends and collaborators Linda Bernard and Roslyn Logsdon present new works in this collaborative exhibition. Sept. 4–Sept. 27. Opening: “Unique Visions.” Brightly colored images by photographer Richard Paul Weiblinger. Sept. 11–Nov. 1. Opening: “Chaotic Attractors: Fractal Art of Abdi Darai.”

Geometric designs by UDC mathematics professor Abdi Darai. Sept. 11–Nov. 1.

StuDio GalleRy 2108 R St. NW. (202) 232-8734. studiogallerydc.com. OngOing: “Seeing Through the Mind’s Eye.” Abstract portraits of strange, imagined characters presented by artist Deborah Addison Cohen. Sept. 2–Sept. 26. OngOing: “The Six-Armed Buddha.” Watercolor painter Barbara Williams presents a series of works inspired by Tibetan prayer flags.

Sept. 2–Sept. 26. OngOing: “Jennie Lea Knight.”

Rarely seen pieces by the founder of Studio Gallery.

Knight’s work is also in the collections of the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the Phillips Collection, and the National Museum of Women in the Arts.

Sept. 2–Sept. 26. touCHStone GalleRy 901 New York Ave. NW. (202) 347-2787. touchstonegallery.com. OngOing: “Layers.” Members of the gallery respond to the theme of layers in a variety of mediums, including photography, abstract painting, sculpture, and collage.

Sept. 4–Sept. 27. OngOing: “Metropolis.” Painter McCain McMurry presents a series of architectural and geometric paintings of cityscapes. Sept. 4–Sept. 27.

OngOing: “Quarter Sections.” Assemblages by artist Janet Wheeler. Sept. 4–Sept. 27.

ViSaRtS 155 Gibbs St., Rockville. (301) 315-8200. visartsatrockville.org. OngOing: “Sea of Tranquility,

Ocean of Doubt.” Site-specific sculptures that look like they’re still works-in-progress by sculptor Christian Benefiel. Sept. 4–Oct. 4.

ViViD SolutionS GalleRy 1231 Good Hope Road SE. (202) 365-8392. vividsolutionsdc.com. Opening: “Chromatic Canyon.” Sculptor Elisa Berry Fonseca creates unique stalagmites and hoodoos out of felt in this new exhibition inspired by caverns. Sept. 11–Oct. 27. waSHinGton pRintMakeRS GalleRy 8230 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring. (301) 273-3660. washingtonprintmakers.com. OngOing: “Show and Teach: Look and Learn.” Visitors can explore printmaking techniques in this interactive exhibition that invites artists to explain their processes. Sept. 2–Oct. 4. OngOing: “Back to School: Color and Abstraction.” Inspired by the 50th anniversary of the Washington Color School, the gallery showcases works by two artists who emphasize color in their work. Sept. 2–Oct. 4. wHino on H St. nw 700 H St. NE. (301) 567-8210. artwhino.com. Opening: “G40 Art Summit.” More than 70 artists from around the world participate in this annual group show, taking place for the first time in Art Whino’s space in H St. NE. Other artists will create and present their own installations and Polish artist Pener will create a mural around the building.

Sept. 12–Sept. 24.

theater

tHe baltiMoRe waltZ In honor of the play’s 25th anniversary, Rep Stage presents this Paula Vogel work about a pair of siblings who attempt to cure a disease and find romance while exploring Europe. Rep Stage at Howard Community College. 10901 Little Patuxent

Parkway, Columbia. To September 13. $15-$40. (443) 518-1500. repstage.org.

CHiMeRiCa Inspired by the Tiananmen Square protests on 1992, this play by Lucy Kirkwood focuses on a journalist who photographed the events and seeks out his subject years later. Two decades later, with ChineseAmerican relations dominating the election cycle, he’s approached by another Chinese acquaintance with a different proposal. David Muse directs this play about political correctness, change, and responsibility. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To October 18. $20-$71.

(202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org.

DeStiny oF DeSiRe Drawing inspiration from Latin American telenovelas, this new play from local author Karen Zacarías focuses on the aftermath of a shocking baby swap. When one is raised by a rich family and and one is raised in poverty, the stage is set for an even more unbelievable reunion. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To October 18. $50-$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

DoGFiGHt Three Marines, on the verge of being deployed to Southeast Asia, come together for a final night of fun and confront their own mortality when a young waitress teaches them a few lessons about love and companionship. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To September 19. $35-$45. (703) 892-0202. keegantheatre.com. tHe Fix When a presidential candidate dies unexpectedly, his widow recruits her son to run in his place in this lively musical directed by Signature Artistic Director Eric Schaeffer. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To September 20. $29-$85. (703) 8209771. signature-theatre.org.

FRienDSHip betRayeD This 17th-century play by María de Zayas y Sotomayor, like Sex and the City, explores what happens to female friendships while women look for and find love. Kari Ginsburg sets her production in the 1920s, a time when women were beginning to explore their sexual curiosities and passions. Gunston Arts Center. 2700 S. Lang St., Arlington. To October 11. $10-$35. (703) 228-1850. arlingtonarts.org.

iRonbounD Over the course of 22 years, a Polish immigrant examines her romantic relationships and the values she takes from them in this new drama by Martyna Majok. Despite a lack of employment and in order to provide for her son, Darja is able to persevere and fight for what’s most important. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda.

To October 4. $36-$61. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org.

Prince George’s Community College, in partnership with NBC 4, The Maryland-National Capital Park and Planning Commission, The Office of the Prince George’s County Executive, and Prince George’s Community College Foundation, Inc. presents

Lovin’ the

niGHt FallS on tHe blue planet A woman aims to discover herself after spending her life struggling with familial estrangement and alcoholism. As she begins to understand her emotions and the inner world that exists under her skin, will she be able to reconnect with her sister or remain alone? Rex Daugherty directs this play by Kathleen Akerly as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To September 27. $20-$35. (202) 544-0703. anacostiaplayhouse.com. now CoMeS tHe niGHt In E.M. Lewis’ world premiere play, an American journalist is released after being held hostage for 18 months but his transition back into society meets challenges. A disagreement with a friend shakes both men, causing them to consider the consequences of being a hero in these times. Alex Levy directs 1st Stage’s first contribution to the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To October 11. $15-$30.

(703) 854-1856. 1ststagespringhill.org.

QueenS GiRl in tHe woRlD When she’s transferred from her familiar environment in Queens to a progressive school in Greenwich Village where she’s one of four black students, 12-year-old Jacqueline Marie Butler feels her world shrinking. In this world premiere play

by Caleen Sinnette Jennings, Jacqueline’s journey of understanding and growth comes to life. Presented as part of of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To October 11. $17-$67. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org. tRutH & beauty boMbS: a SoFteR woRlD Inspired by the web comic created by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau, this new play imagines a world where the edges might be softer but monsters are real. A variety of well-known local actors and dramatists, includ-

Featuring

September 19, 2015 12–6 p.m.

Free Admission Rain or Shine

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The Jewels Jesi Terrell Daryl Davis The Spaniels Full Power Blues Barry Lee Pearson Phil Wiggins and the Chesapeake Sheiks Bluesman Tom Larson Hardway Connection Clarence “The Bluesman” Turner

www.pgcc.edu/go/blues

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

“HOW WE LOST DC”

Few cities are undergoing a period of gentrification as lengthy as D.C.’s, and perhaps none are gentrifying as quickly. The individual stories of displacement, as well as the larger narrative arc that shows how class and racial lines overlap to push out poorer minority communities, have particular poignancy in D.C., one of the first cities in the U.S. with a black majority. Against this backdrop, the local African-American artist collective Delusions of Grandeur created How We Lost DC, an exhibition the group calls “a visual discourse on gentrification.” The work of Wesley Clark, Larry Cook, Shaunté Gates, Jamea RichmondEdwards, Amber Robles-Gorden, and Stan Squirewell encompasses photography, textile, paintings, mixed media, and sculpture in a show that moves between portraiture and would-be artifacts to tapestry and art made from maps of the District itself.

The group uses these works to provide commentary on a world where, in their words, “the rise to wealth is ever present, yet elusive.” The exhibit takes place at Honfleur Gallery, itself a project of ARCH Development Corporation, a nonprofit dedicated to sparking economic and residential revitalization in Anacostia, one of D.C.’s poorest neighborhood and one that could gentrify soon.

The exhibition is on view Tuesdays through Fridays noon to 5 p.m. and Saturdays 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., to Oct. 31, at Honfleur Gallery, 1241 Good Hope Road SE. Free. (202) —Emily Walz 365-8392. honfleurgallery.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com september 11, 2015 43

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ing Alexandra Petri, Frank Britton, and Randy Baker collaborate on this production. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To October 4. $20-$30. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

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upRiSinG In this new musical set in the aftermath of John Brown’s raid on Harper’s Ferry, a group of free black fall under the spell of Ossie, a revolutionary who aims to change the world around him. Thomas W. Jones II directs Gabrielle Fulton’s production, a world premiere. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria.

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tHe weiGHt oF wateR In order to connect with the spirit of her last living relative, a young woman must piece together the pieces of her family’s past. Factory 449 presents Allyson Curtin’s drama about the secrets families keep from each other as part of the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. Anacostia Arts Center. 1231 Good Hope Road SE. To September 27. $15-$20. anacostiaartscenter.com. woMen lauGHinG alone witH SalaD Three women balance their relationships with the same man and their own life priorities in this world-premiere comedy from Sheila Callaghan, who previously presented her play Fever/Dream in 2009. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To October 4. $43-$68. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

ander Skarsgård. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) leaRninG to DRiVe When a middle-aged woman’s marriage end, she decides to learn to drive from a Sikh instructor with troubles of his own. Together, they regain confidence in their lives and learn to navigate the busy streets of Manhattan. Starring Patricia Clarkson and Ben Kingsley. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) peRFeCt Guy Sanaa Lathan stars as a hardn tHe working lobbyist who finds herself in danger after beginning a relationship with a mysterious stranger.

When her old boyfriend resurfaces, she’s forced to decide whether she’ll stay with either man. Co-starring Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) SteVe JobS: tHe Man in tHe MaCHine Alex n Gibney, known for directing documentaries like Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief and Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, looks at the life of the late Apple founder and visionary in this new film. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

yeRMa (baRRen) In this adaptation of the classic Federico Garcia Lorca play, a poor, childless peasant confronts the repressive society in which she lives.

This contemporary update and its comments on the fate of modern women who stand up for their rights remains relevant today. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To October 4. $20-$42. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org.

tHe tRanSpoRteR ReFueleD Frank Martin must outsmart a series of bank robbers and take on their Russian adversary in this fourth movie in the Transporter series. Starring Ed Skrein and Loan Chabanol. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

FilM

and dangerous in this thriller written, produced, and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

beFoRe we Go Two strangers, played by Chris Evans and Alice Eve, meet at Grand Central Terminal and spend a night exploring New York and confiding in each other in this intimate romantic drama also directed by Evans. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) oF a teenaGe GiRl A teenage girl n DiaRy coming of age in 1970s San Francisco embraces her sexuality by beginning an affair with her mother’s boyfriend in this drama based on the novel by Phoebe Gloeckner. Starring Kristin Wiig, Bel Powley, and Alex-

ViSit Two children spend the weekend with n tHe their grandparents but things quickly turn spooky

a walk in tHe wooDS Robert Redford and Nick Nolte play two old friends who decide to reconnect with their nation and each other by hiking the Appalachian Trail in this film based on the Bill Bryson book of the same name. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Film clips are written by Caroline Jones.

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

QUEENS GIRL IN THE WORLD Coming of age while attending a new school and making new friends has served as a plot point for young adult stories in film, theater, and literature many times over. Theater J adds to the canon with its world-premiere production of Caleen Sinnette Jennings’ Queens Girl in the World, but this is no Mean Girls, wherein a young woman seeks to define herself based on the expectations of others. Instead, Jacqueline, the play’s 12-year-old protagonist, is shaped by the cultural and geographic differences she experiences when her parents transfer her from comfortable surroundings in Queens to a progressive school in Greenwich Village, where she is one of only four black students. The play takes place in 1962, back when Greenwich Village was filled with bohemians, instead of brokers, and the civil rights movement was slowly gaining attention. The story—and the production’s killer doo-wop soundtrack—still resonates with audiences 50 years later. The play runs Sept. 16 to Oct. 11 at Theater J, 1529 16th St. —Caroline Jones NW. $17–$67. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org.

44 september 11, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Mary’s Center presents

Noche Tropical Annual Gala

Mary’s Center invites you to celebrate its 2015 Annual Gala Noche Tropical

Friday, October 16, 2015, 6:30 pm Co-Chairs: Matthew Klinger and Nina Albert Four Seasons Hotel 2800 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC Cocktail Reception, silent auction, dinner, live music, and ‘Hora Loca’

For more information and to buy tickets, call 202-420-7002

www.maryscenter.org

starts friday, sEPtEMBEr 11

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Driver/Delivery/Courier Takeout Taxi the areas leading Restaurant delivery service is hiring Drivers. Own vehicle required. Must be 21. Earn tips + commission.

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5. Tackle 9. Room with tons of old shit and cobwebs 14. Cosmonaut Gherman 16. “Back in the day” 17. Teenage doll toy line 18. The host who tapped the keg before everyone got there was called for a ...

20. Car battery brand 21. Actor Morales 22. Beige-ish hue 24. Actor Penn 25. The guy who took all the LSD was called for ...

29. The guy with all the weed was called for 31. Actress Phylicia 32. “D’oh, ___ idiot!”

34. Guatemalan president Molina 35. Planks work them 36. Bad spot 38. Applies paint sloppily 39. Former Enron advisor turned Nobel Prize winner Krugman

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19. Rejected 23. Panthers coach Rivera 25. Animal catchers 26. Morocco’s capital 27. Bit of Money 28. LOLcat picture, likely 30. ER pronouncement 33. Summon up 37. Org. in the first four Super Bowls 38. Vast hot wasteland 40. Pub heads 42. “___ the opinion that ...”

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65. Stump creator 66. 1000 G’s 67. Superlative ending

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54. The cockblocker was called for ...

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68. Coloring stuff 69. Gaucho’s rope 70. Moves toward the gate 71. Big name in modeling?

72. Like movies borrowed from the library 73. Breadmaker’s wheat 74. Back end

Down 1. Grp. that oversees guns and rosés 2. Soccer announcer Hamm 3. Falcons on chyrons 4. “Catfish: The TV Show” host Max 5. Arrived 6. Strand in a lab 7. Plot of land 8. “You ___!” (“Darn tootin’”) 9. “Straight Up” singer 10. Uno + due 11. Do some hyping 12. “That’s impossible!”

13. McKinley’s assassin 15. Hipster’s scooters

Security/Law Enforcement Planned Parenthood believes in the fundamental right of each individual, throughout the world, to manage his or her fertility, regardless of the individual’s income, marital status, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, national origin, or residence. We believe that respect and value for diversity in all aspects of our organization are essential to our well-being. We believe that reproductive self-determination must be voluntary and preserve the individual’s right to privacy. We further believe that such self-determination will contribute to an enhancement of the quality of life and strong family relationships.

Planned Parenthood Federation of America is seeking for a Front Desk Concierge in our Washington DC location, whose main responsibility will be managing the reception desk. The candidate must be experience in security management or a related fi eld.

The ideal candidate will be familiar with building evacuation plans, have local law enforcement contacts. He /she will possess certifi cation in CPR and AED, prepare incident/accident reports, and contact law enforcement on matters requiring assistance. Additionally, he/she will assist PPFA in securing confi dential records, documents and communications.

Planned Parenthood Federation of America is an equal employment opportunity employer and is committed to maintaining a non-discriminatory work environment.

Planned Parenthood of America does not discriminate against any employee or applicant for employment on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, marital status, sexual orientation, or any other characteristic protected by applicable law. Planned Parenthood Federation of America is committed to creating a dynamic work environment that values diversity and inclusion, respect and integrity, customer focus, and innovation. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

Insurance AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-9779537

Garage/Yard/ Rummage/Estate Sales

Musical Instruction/ Classes

Adams Morgan Multi-Condo Yard Sale Come and find some “bargains and treasures” at a multi-condo yard sale in Adams Morgan on Adams Morgan Day

Tired of BS calls promising you a new website, #1 ranking on Google & doubling your business for less than the cost of a Starbucks Frappuccino? These telemarketers give people like us a bad name.

So we came up with a solution...

We’ll show your business clear results in advance of any payment, within 30min-1hr. on: SEO • PPC • Website • Video Marketing • Social Media • Content Marketing • Email Marketing • Mobile Marketing • Market/Competitor Research • Book Publishing • and Reputation Management • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • In advance for 100% FREE. If you see great results we can talk further. We are a team of #1 best selling authors in marketing & advertising and are also available to speak at events/conferences.We are only taking on 4 new accounts.

Call us ASAP at 202-438-9199 or www.mindgamemarketing.com

General Contracting

Place: Euclid Mews Condominiums on the south-east corner of Euclid Street NW and 17th Street NW in Adams Morgan.

Date: Sunday, September 13, 2015.

Time: 10:00 am – 2:00 pm.

Types of Items for Sale (partial list): Art (signed, numbered and framed); Books (hardcover and paperback fi ction and non-fi ction); Clothing and Shoes (adult and children); Collectibles (e.g. baskets, brass, carvings, textiles); Furniture/Furnishings (e.g. carpets/rugs, lamps, tables); Media (CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes); Offi ce Supplies (e.g. ink cartridges, waterproof file boxes); Tableware (dishes, dinnerware sets, fl atware pieces and sets, serving pieces).

Many other categories of items will be for sale.

This & That’s Yard Sale Every Sat & Sun at 5615 Landover Road Cheverly Md Vendor Space Available 202355-2068

Events

MR CONTRACTING WE OFFER NEW CONSTRUCTION AND RESIDENTIAL REMODELING: BATHROOMS, KITCHENS, ADDITIONS, BASEMENTS, PAINT, DECKS. CALL US OR VISIT US: 202-677-1181 WWW.MRCONTRACTING.NET

Antiques & Collectibles

I BUY RECORD COLLECTIONS!!!

I drive to you, pay CASH, and haul them away. Call 571-830-5871

Garage/Yard/ Rummage/Estate Sales Giant Yard Sale Sept 16, 18 10am-3pm, Sept 17 12pm6pm. Calvary Baptist Church 8th & H St NW. “Great stuff at bargain prices”.

ELECTRONICS DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888992-1957

True Jesus Church in Washington DC sincerely invites you to our Evangelical Services and Spiritual Convocation.

Service Location and Times: 900 Maple Ave East, Vienna, VA Fri, 9/11 2:45PM-9PM Sat, 9/12 9:45AM-9PM 8601 Wolftrap Rd, Vienna, VA Sun, 9/13 9:45AM-2PM For additional info, please contact us at washingtondc@tjc.org or 703.988.1852 www.tjc.us Comic Book & Sports Card Show Saturday September 19 10am3pm at the Annandale Virginia Fire House Expo Hall 7128 Columbia Pike 22003 Gold, Silver, Bronze & Modern Age Comic Books, nonsports cards from the 1880’s to the present,Artists Alley Plus Vintage to present day sports cards & memorabilia, vintage LPs & 45’s too shoffpromotions.com

Voice, Piano/Keyboards-Unleash your unique voice with outof-the-box, intuitive teacher in all styles classical, jazz, R&B, gospel, neo-soul etc. Sessions available @ my studio, your home or via Skype. Call 202-486-3741 or email dwight@dwightmcnair.com

Cars/Trucks/SUVs Cash For Cars Any Car/Truck.

Running or not! Top dollar paid.

We come to you. Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com.

Musicians Wanted SEEKING GUITAR TEACHER in Rockville, MD area to teach 80’s hard rock. Can already play the basics, looking for teacher to make me a pro. Call Wyatt, 301770-4917, wyattedwards218@ yahoo.com.

Volunteer Services Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, wacdtf@wacdtf.org.

Counseling Pregnant? Thinking of Adoption? Talk with a caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. Living Expenses Paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana.

Health & Beauty Products VIAGRA 100mg, CIALIS 20mg.

40 Pills + 4 FREE for only $99. #1 Male Enhancement! Discreet Shipping. Save $500. Buy the Blue Pill Now! 1-800-404-1271

Licensed Massage & Spas Excellent Massage by beautiful therapists in Qi Spa. Swedish, Deep Tissue, Hot Stone massage. 3106 M Street, NW, Washington, DC 20007. www.qispadc.com. Appointment or walk-ins welcome. Ask for new therapist introductory Special! 202333-6344.

Heaven-On-Earth.

You’ve tried the rest, now come to the best! 240-418-9530, Bethesda.

MD Massage License #R00120.

LAST WEEK: EXPIRED LINKS U P D A T E

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