Washington City Paper (August 21, 2015)

CITYPAPER Washington

crime: d.c.’s violent summer 12

food: what august slump?

21

Free Volume 35, no. 34 WashingtonCityPaPer.Com august 21–27, 2015

Some Southwest residents are resisting the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s planned headquarters, citing concerns about overdevelopment. Will all end well? 7

By Andrew Giambrone • Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

SAME DAY INSTALLATION | EQUIPMENT EXTRA | NO CONTRACT

Call 866-847-4258 Visit rcn.com/dc-aug2 Offer valid only for new residential RCN customers or customers that have not had RCN’s service within the last 60 days. Offer expires 9/6/15. All sales subject to credit check, applicable surcharges, equipment taxes, franchise fees and government imposed charges and fees. ¹$19.99 (10 Mbps Internet only) per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $29.99 months 13-24 and $39.99 months 25-36. Modem not included; additional monthly fee applies for modem rental. ²$39.99 (50 Mbps Internet only) per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $49.99 months 13-24 and $59.99 months 25-36. Modem not included; additional monthly fee applies for modem rental. ³$45.99 package includes Basic TV and 50 Mbps High Speed Internet plus SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and Starz for 12 months from installation date. Digital TV refers to Basic Digital TV package only. $45.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $55.99 months 13-24 and $65.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. ⁴$65.99 package includes Basic TV and 110 Mbps High Speed Internet plus SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and Starz for 12 months from installation date.. Digital TV refers to Basic Digital TV package only. $65.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $75.99 months 13-24 and $85.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. Number of channels may vary based upon package selection. Advertised Internet speeds are average speeds, but may vary and are not guaranteed. Television packages including SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and Starz is a promotional offer and is valid for 12 months from installation date; thereafter, prices increases to $7.95 in months 13-24; $12.95 in months 25-36, regular rates apply thereafter. *Savings calculation based on retail price for SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and Starz for 12 months. See our online disclosures at rcn.com for information about the service offered in your area. Same and next day installation window subject to availability. Charges may apply for additional services. Other restrictions may apply. Not all services available in all areas. SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and related marks are trademarks of Showtime Networks Inc., a CBS Company. You must be a subscriber of SHOWTIME to receive SHOWTIME ANYTIME. Starz and related marks are trademarks of Starz® Entertainment, LLC. No substitutions. All names, logos, images and service marks are property of their respective owners. Visit rcn.com for additional terms and conditions. For information about network performance characteristics, please see rcn.com. ©2015 Starpower Communications, LLC. All rights reserved.

2 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

INSIDE

7 the bard sell To build or not to build? That’s the question facing the Shakespeare Theatre Company.

By andrew giamBrone

4 Chatter distriCt line

12 Loose Lips: D.C. officials, police struggle to explain spike in violence 14 City Desk: Presidential candidates on D.C. statehood 15 Gear Prudence 16 Savage Love 17 Straight Dope 18 Buy D.C.

d.C. Feed

21 Young & Hungry: Is August really the worst month for local restaurants?

23 Grazer: Mike Isabella’s busy future 23 Are You Gonna Drink That?

BLT Steak’s Wagyu Whisky 23 Brew In Town: Devils Backbone & Jack Rose Willett 12 Year Barrel-Aged Sour Old Ale

arts

25 Babe, Big in the City: One group house-cum-record label is having a moment.

27 Arts Desk: The epic fails of the Librarian of Congress 27 One Track Mind: Gauche’s playful “Boom Hazard” 28 Short Subjects: Gittell on We Come as Friends and Olszewski on Meru

29 Curtain Calls: Paarlberg on How We Died of Disease-Related Illness and Bones in Whispers 30 Sketches: Capps on “Renovatio Imperii” and “Alone in the Woods” at Hamiltonian 30 Speed Reads: Ottenberg on John H. Matthews’ Ballyvaughan

a socially acceptable place to drink before noon.

City list

33 City Lights: The kid-friendly magic of Savion Glover 33 Music 38 Books 38 Galleries 39 Dance 39 Theater 40 Film

BOOZY BRUNCH

AT STATION KITCHEN & COCKTAILS

WEEKENDS 10AM–2PM STATIONKITCHENDC.COM | 2015 MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE NW (DUPONT CIRCLE METRO)

42 ClassiFieds diversions 43 Crossword

“

I realIze I’m guIlty of thIs awful suburban thIng called nImby. —Page7 washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 3

CHATTER

Time Travel to Fun!

In which our readers accuse City Paper of playing favorites

Pander Watch

Loose Lips wrote about David Garber taking on Vincent Orange (“Living At-Large,” Aug. 14), but readers wrote to us wondering what life is like deep in the cushy pockets of Garber’s campaign machine. [Editor’s note: NEAR ANNAPOLIS, ¯\_( )_/¯.] Whistleblower Marvin IN CROWNSVILLE, MD E. Adams said: “It’s A-L-L about OPTICS! It appears that SomKids 15 & Under mer and, by extension, the WCP admitted FREE is promoting Mr. Garber. If not, why the color photo of Garber August 23rd & 24th! at the lead of the story, while Orange’s picture is embedded August 29th - October 25th in the story and in black and Sats, Suns & Labor Day Monday white?” Sometimes a picture is really just a picture, and if we AM PM s 2AIN OR 3HINE wanted to really sell our souls to plug some politicos, we’d make it way more obvious. Perennial favorite rage-monster noodlez waded in, screaming: “HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH WILLY EARL’S BIASED ELECTION REPORTING. ils.

Visit Our Website for deta TWO WRITE UPS SUBMITTED ON THE SAME BLOKE IN A WEEK. EACH ARTICLE LEANING IN CLOSER AS IF HE IS TRYING TO CATCH A WHIFF OF GARBER’S MANFUME. WHILE AT THE SAME TIME CONTINUING WITH GARBER’S THEME TO DISPATCH OL’ HOGG HEAD AS SOME CORRUPT POLITICIAN IN ORDER TO SCORE POLITICAL POINTS WITH THOSE DONORS WHO ARE WILLING TO FUND HIS CHA- Lips columnist to whiff all the manfumes (or ladyfumes) as they announce their runs for office. He also has to take RADE.” In Willy Earl’s defense, it’s his job as the Loose

Maryland Renaissance Festival

EN O P yland

Mar

some pretty unfortunate whiffs when pols start to say their shit don’t stink.

Then there was an odd racial charge, courtesy of Brett M, who also boldly editorialized the at-large candidate as a “drifter”: “Well we know white politicians in this town get special treatment by the media, so it comes as no surprise that this relatively unknown drifter, who’s just looking for his next gig, is getting lots of attention from WCP.” BlkGayMan also takes it to a weird place, accomplishing little: “as a gay black male, I will not vote for a white privilege hipster male. He and other white gay males in D.C. and across the United States don’t understand what it’s really like being a black man in the gay world.... My question, how many gay black and lesbian friends do he have and has he dated a black man or Afro Caribbean?” Thank you for the reminder that we here at City Paper should really get off our asses and start asking the tough questions. And finally, REALDC made it clear he or she will simply not be voting for Garber, and will instead be keeping it greasy. “Another new progressive with a beard and a skinny suit.....no thanks!! We will keep ‘Greasy’!!...

We n e e d R E A L l e a d e rs h i p, n o t ‘ m i c ro waved, app leadership.’” Until next week: Keep it greasy, folks, and keep it away from microwaves.

—Emily Q. Hazzard

BIG SAV INGS AT THE GATE THROUGH SEPT. 13TH!

Re S na A U iss G 2 9 ! ance Fe s t i va l . c o m

Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to editor@washigntoncitypaper.com.

puBLiSHER EMERituS: Amy AustIn intERiM puBLiSHER: ErIC norwood EDitoR: stEVE CAVEndIsH MAnAGinG EDitoRS: EmIly q. HAzzArd, sArAH AnnE HugHEs ARtS EDitoR: CHrIstInA CAutEruCCI fooD EDitoR: jEssICA sIdmAn City LiGHtS EDitoR: CArolInE jonEs StAff wRitERS: AndrEw gIAmbronE, wIll sommEr StAff pHotoGRApHER: dArrow montgomEry ContRiButinG wRitERS: joHn AndErson, jonEttA rosE bArrAs, ErICA bruCE, soPHIA busHong, KrIston CAPPs, rIlEy CrogHAn, jEffry CudlIn, ErIn dEVInE, sAdIE dIngfEldEr, sElEnA sImmons-duffIn, mAtt dunn, sArAH godfrEy, trEy grAHAm, louIs jACobson, stEVE KIVIAt, CHrIs KlImEK, ryAn lIttlE, CHrIstInE mACdonAld, dAVE mCKEnnA, bob mondEllo, mArCus j. moorE, justIn moyEr, trICIA olszEwsKI, mIKE PAArlbErg, tIm rEgAn, rEbECCA j. rItzEl, Ally sCHwEItzEr, tAmmy tuCK, KAArIn VEmbAr, jonEllE wAlKEr, joE wArmInsKy, mICHAEl j. wEst, brAndon wu intERn: olIVIA AdAms, onLinE DEvELopER: zACH rAusnItz DiRECtoR of AuDiEnCE DEvELopMEnt: sArA dICK SALES MAnAGER: nICHolAs dIblAsIo SEnioR ACCount ExECutivES: mElAnIE bAbb, joE HICKlIng, AlICIA mErrItt ACCount ExECutivES: stu KElly, CHAd VAlE SALES opERAtionS MAnAGER: HEAtHEr mCAndrEws SALES AnD MARkEtinG ASSoCiAtE: CHloE fEdynA CREAtivE DiRECtoR: jAndos rotHstEIn ARt DiRECtoR: lAurEn HEnEgHAn CREAtivE SERviCES MAnAGER: brAndon yAtEs GRApHiC DESiGnER: lIsA dEloACH opERAtionS DiRECtoR: jEff boswEll SEnioR SALES opERAtion AnD pRoDuCtion CooRDinAtoR: jAnE mArtInACHE SoutHCoMM: CHiEf ExECutivE offiCER: CHrIs fErrEll CHiEf finAnCiAL offiCER: Ed tEArmAn ExECutivE viCE pRESiDEnt of DiGitAL & SuppoRt SERviCES: blAIr joHnson DiRECtoR of finAnCiAL pLAnninG & AnALySiS: CArlA sImon viCE pRESiDEnt of HuMAn RESouRCES: Ed wood viCE pRESiDEnt of pRoDuCtion opERAtionS: Curt PordEs GRoup puBLiSHER: ErIC norwood CHiEf REvEnuE offiCER: dAVE CArtEr DiRECtoR of DiGitAL SALES & MARkEtinG: dAVId wAlKEr ContRoLLER: todd PAtton CREAtivE DiRECtoR: HEAtHEr PIErCE LoCAL ADvERtiSinG: (202) 332-2100, fAx: (202) 618-3959, Ads@wAsHIngtonCItyPAPEr.Com voL. 35, no. 34, AuG. 21–27, 2015 wAsHIngton CIty PAPEr Is PublIsHEd EVEry wEEK And Is loCAtEd At 1400 EyE st. nw, suItE 900, wAsHIngton, d.C. 20005.

CAlEndAr submIssIons ArE wElComEd; tHEy must bE rECEIVEd 10 dAys bEforE PublICAtIon. u.s. subsCrIPtIons ArE AVAIlAblE for $250 PEr yEAr. IssuE wIll ArrIVE sEVErAl dAys AftEr PublICAtIon. bACK IssuEs of tHE PAst fIVE wEEKs ArE AVAIlAblE At tHE offICE for $1 ($5 for oldEr IssuEs). bACK IssuEs ArE AVAIlAblE by mAIl for $5. mAKE CHECKs PAyAblE to wAsHIngton CIty PAPEr or CAll for morE oPtIons. © 2015 All rIgHts rEsErVEd. no PArt of tHIs PublICAtIon mAy bE rEProduCEd wItHout tHE wrIttEn PErmIssIon of tHE EdItor.

4 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Looking for a Financial Consultant who’s into transparency?

Meet Antwone.

After completing undergrad and graduate school in D.C., Antwone knew this was the community where he wanted to raise his family. Antwone also knows that Schwab’s modern approach to wealth management, based on an honest, straightforward relationship, is the way he likes to do business. If this is an approach that fits you, stop by the Schwab Washington, D.C. branch or give Antwone a call.

Antwone Harris, MBA, CFP ® VP, Sr. Financial Consultant Washington, D.C. 202-530 -1870

Wealth Management at Charles Schwab PLANNING | PORTFOLIO MANAGEMENT | INCOME STRATEGIES | BANKING

Visit us at Schwab.com/DC Brokerage Products: Not FDIC Insured • No Bank Guarantee • May Lose Value

There are eligibility requirements to work with a dedicated Financial Consultant.

Branch located at: 1845 K Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20006 Wealth management refers to products and services available through the operating subsidiaries of The Charles Schwab Corporation of which there are important differences including, but not limited to, the type of advice and assistance provided, fees charged, and the rights and obligations of the parties. It is important to understand the differences when determining which products and/or services to select. The Charles Schwab Corporation provides a full range of securities, brokerage, banking, money management and financial advisory services through its operating subsidiaries. Its broker-dealer subsidiary, Charles Schwab & Co., Inc. (member SIPC), offers investment services and products, including Schwab brokerage accounts. Its banking subsidiary, Charles Schwab Bank (member FDIC and an Equal Housing Lender), provides deposit and lending services and products. ©2015 The Charles Schwab Corporation. All rights reserved. (0715-4593) ADP87105-00

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 5

GW LISNER PRESENTS

#tenantrightsmatter #tenantrightsmatter

Ethiopian

Doyou youfeel feel Do

New Year Mahmoud with

Ahmed and

Tineshu Tilahun SEPT

11

NEW YEAR EVENTS: 7PM PERFORMANCES: 8PM

Mystic India • Sept 19 • 8pm TICKETS ON SALE NOW Visit lisner.gwu.edu or call 202.994.6800 for more information or to purchase tickets. /GWLISNER

@GWLISNER

LISN_1415_8

#tenantrightsmatter

Do you feel Do you feel Jointhe theDC DCOffice Officeofofthe theTenant TenantAdvocate Advocateatatthe the Join

8thAnnual AnnualTenant Tenant & Tenant Association Summit 8th is& outTenant of reach? Association Summit is out of reach?

When: Saturday, Sept.

26, 2015/ AM–– 5PM PM Join the DC Office of the Tenant Advocate at theJoin26, the DC 2015/ Office of the Tenant Advocate at 5 the When: Saturday, Sept.

88AM 8th Annual Tenant & Tenant Association Summit 8th Annual Tenant & Tenant Association Summit

W

Where: Kellogg Conference Center at Gallaudet University When: Saturday, Sept.Conference 26, 2015/ 8When: AM – 5Saturday, PM Sept.

26, 2015/ 8University AM – 5 PM Where: Kellogg Center at Gallaudet Whe Where: Kellogg Conference Center800 at Gallaudet Where: University KelloggAve. Conference Center at Gallaudet University Florida NE 800 Florida Ave. NE 800 Florida Ave. NE 800 Florida Ave. NE Registration opens Friday, July 2015 Registration opens 31, Friday, July 31, 2015 Registration opens Friday, July 31, 2015

Registration opens Friday, July 31, 2015

Who should attend?

Who attend? should attend?

Whoshould

Whoshould attend? should Tenants, Tenant Associations and anyone who wants to gain a better attend?

Who

Tenants, Tenant Associations and anyone who wants to gain Tenants, a betterTenant under-Associations and anyone who wants to gain a better understanding of DC Tenant rights. Learn about affordable housing standing programs of DCatTenant the rights. Learn about affordable housing programs at the local and federal levels and how new housing policies may affect local and affordability. federal levels and how new housing policies may affect affordability.

understandingof DC Tenant rights.

Learn about housing programs at Tenants, Tenant Associations and anyone who affordable wants to gain a better underTenants, Tenant Associations anyone who wants to may gainaffect a better underthe local and federal levels andand how new housing policies affordability. standing of DC rights. about affordable programs FREE Admission - FREETenant Lunch -On-site Legal ClinicLearn - Workshops FREE Admission - FREE Lunchhousing -On-site Legal Clinic - Workshops at the standing of DC Tenant rights.

Learn about affordable housing programs at the FREEFREE Metro Shuttle - Giveaways FREE Metro Shuttle - Giveaways Admission Lunch -policies On-site Legal Clinicaffordability. local and federal levels and how- FREE new housing may affect local and federal levels and how new housing policies may affect affordability.

For more information call 202-719-6560 more information call 202-719-6560 Workshops - FREE For Metro Shuttle - Giveaways

Who

Ten stan

loca

FREE Admission - FREE Lunch -On-site Legal Clinic - Workshops For more information callLegal 202-719-6560 FREE Admission - FREE Lunch -On-site Clinic - Workshops FREE Metro Shuttle - Giveaways FREE Metro Shuttle - Giveaways

DC OffiCe Of the tenant aDvOCate

DC OffiCe Of the tenant aDvOCate

Formore moreinformation informationcall call202-719-6560 202-719-6560 For

DCOOffiCe ffiCeOf Ofthe thett enantaa DvOCate DC enant DvOCate

6 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

#tenantrightsmatter outofofreach? reach? isisout

D

DISTRICTLINE

An appeals court revived the ethics lawsuit against former Councilmember

Jim Graham washingtoncitypaper.com/go/graham

The Bard Sell

A group of Southwest residents are resisting the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s planned headquarters, citing concerns about overdevelopment. Will all end well? versially—market-rate housing that Erkiletian would own and operate. The housing, STC says, is key to funding the HQ, which will centralize its operations under one roof.

“I realize I’m guilty of this awful suburban thing called NIMBY, but we find it pretty offensive that [STC’s] fundraising effort [to construct The Bard] was to get a developer,” Ehrlich says.

Although the area of Southwest near the National Mall is full of multi-story buildings, opponents of the project argue STC isn’t offering sufficient community benefits to out-

By Andrew Giambrone

What remains of Southeastern University

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

David Ehrlich has lived in Southwest since 1979. After managing his family’s retail business in Boston, he came to the District to work for the Smithsonian. The quadrant, a onetime enclave for both poor and wealthy African Americans, was still rebuilding after being wiped out by a misguided federal renewal effort in the 1950s. But Ehrlich sensed that the area, with its quaint townhouses and charming waterfront, would keep growing.

Ehrlich moved into Waterside Towers at 907 6th St. SW, a ten-story apartment building constructed in 1970. In 1985, Ehrlich and his second wife, Barbara, bought their current home on the 500 block of H Street SW—a two-and-a-half-story townhouse on a tiny cul-de-sac. They’ve lived there happily while the development that’s swept the city’s three other quadrants during the last decade largely passed over Southwest.

That’s rapidly changing. A number of high-profile developments in the District’s smallest and sleepiest quadrant are set to be completed in the coming years—most notably, the $2 billion, mile-long Wharf project on the waterfront, and the D.C. United stadium in Buzzard Point.

The Ehrlichs belong to a core group of Southwest residents who are railing against another proposed development—one just a fraction of the physical size of The Wharf, but as menacing as a skyscraper to its opponents: the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s anticipated headquarters at 6th and I streets SW. STC plans to construct the multi-story building—dubbed “The Bard”—in partnership with Erkiletian, an Alexandria-based real estate firm whose president sits on STC’s board and whose family nonprofit has donated tens of thousands of dollars to the theater company. To date, plans for the building include administrative offices, rehearsal spaces, classrooms, shops for costumes and props, dorms for visiting artists, and—most contro-

weigh purported damage to neighborhood character: contextual disharmony with dozens of two- to three-story townhouses surrounding the proposed site; shadows that would block out sunlight for families in their homes and for children on the playground of next-door Amidon-Bowen Elementary School; and worsened traffic and parking for the community; among other concerns.

“We’re not against Shakespeare Theatre Company,” explains Jessica Blond, who lives directly behind the development site.

“We’re against all the apartment buildings

that would finance it.”

Shakespeare and Erkiletian have proposed incorporating roughly 150 residential units into the new building. Its southernmost section, located across the street from the Southwest Duck Pond, would rise nine stories and be crowned by a penthouse, meaning apartments would constitute more than half of the building’s total height. Other parts of The Bard would rise eight and three stories, set back from the street. Many of STC’s operations would be below the ground floor. (The final price tag on the building will depend on how it’s eventually constructed.)

The two entities jointly bought the one-acre space for $6.5 million in October of last year.

There was still a building on the site, however, at 501 I St. SW: a piece of Brutalist architecture from the 1960s that had formerly served as the campus of Southeastern University. In 2010, the 130-year-old university was acquired by The Graduate School (now Graduate School USA), but the facility remained vacant.

When the graduate school—at STC’s request—filed a raze permit for the site in May 2014, the Southwest Neighborhood Assembly, a private nonprofit citizens’ organization, filed a historic-landmark application for the Brutalist building with the D.C. Office of Planning. If granted, historical-landmark status would have stopped the planned development in its tracks.

But in September 2014, after community meetings with STC and Erkiletian, SWNA agreed to drop the application in exchange for $60,000 from the theater company, which closed on the site with the developer a few weeks later.

“SWNA did not consult all the local residents,” says Josh Hurwitz, the president of Townhouse Management 1, which represents homeowners on 6th Street SW, across from the site. “I would speculate that [the deal] was so SWNA wouldn’t be a hindrance in [the development] process.”

Hurwitz wants the property to be developed

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 7

DISTRICTLINE

Courtesy ShakespeareTheatre Company/Shalom Baranes Associates

A rendering of STC’s proposed HQ

in a way that “fits with the community”— namely, with more townhomes, or high-end condos on a lower scale. He also says residents would welcome STC as a neighbor, without the apartment component. “We don’t want to fight, but if they keep pushing a seven- to 10-story building, we have to in order to protect our homes and [Amidon-Bowen],” he explains.

Marty Welles, president of Amidon-Bowen’s parent-teacher association, says he’s worried about the negative environmental impact STC and Erkiletian’s building could have on young students. A nine-story building, the father of three says, would “cast a shadow on the entire playground,” and it would never dry after rain or in the winter. The site would create “an echo-chamber” with the school and a fourstory building to the north that would amplify noise from traffic on I Street SW, too.

“Adding a commercial space next to the

school where there is an increase of automobile traffic at drop-off and pick-up times will [be a] risk factor for children,” he says. “Adding a [high-rise] building will exhaust existing parking and create a nightmare scenario for residents.”

In light of their concerns, community residents launched a petition in June voicing their opposition to the project. An online version of the petition has garnered roughly 75 signatures, and a paper version circulated around the neighborhood got nearly 250, says Betty Baker, who moved to Southwest in 1975.

Almost every resident in the two-block area where she canvassed signed the petition, Baker says. “We feel there’s a long battle ahead of us. We hope to prevail.”

Despite the community pushback, STC seems intent on constructing the building as planned. The Southeastern building was

8 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

razed earlier this summer, and the theater company is doing additional community outreach on social media and canvassing to win over resistant residents.

“This facility is needed to provide stability for the company,” says Chris Jennings, STC’s managing director. “Our plan is to continue to educate the community and engage them in the design process… We’re interested in doing this right, and doing this right means continued community engagement and dialogue so we can be good neighbors and good citizens.”

Jennings explains that STC has been looking for a home for about a decade, in order to consolidate resources and protect stakeholders from D.C.’s rising rents. Right now, the company is spread throughout the city, occupying administrative offices, rehearsal studios, shops, and the Harman Center for the Arts (where STC would continue to stage pro-

ductions). Shakespeare leases about 30 apartments on Capitol Hill to house visiting artists and directors; The Bard would feature about 35 on-site units.

Other sites did not work for a “variety of reasons,” Jennings says. “Our needs are so specific—the options that came into play were very few and far between… This is the first site where everything came together.”

STC has distributed pamphlets about the benefits the new facility could bring, outlining educational opportunities such as an annual summer camp for kids and teens, “a public plaza located along 6th Street connecting [STC] to the growing cultural corridor along Eye Street,” and “an energy efficient design equivalent to LEED Silver rating.” A removable card at the back of the pamphlet asks readers to “show [their] support for The Bard” by emailing the Office of Planning, Ward 6 Coun-

A sign opposing STC’s planned headquarters

cilmember Charles Allen’s office, and members of Advisory Neighborhood Commission 6D. “I support Shakespeare Theatre and The Bard Development!” the cards reads.

The theater company has also hosted several community meetings since last year, and even enlisted Mayor Muriel Bowser’s former campaign manager Bo Shuff to coordinate outreach efforts. Supporters of the plan have sent hundreds of emails to Allen and the Office of Planning, Shuff says.

Addressing the residents’ specific concerns, Jennings says STC has “done shadowing studies and shared those with the community,” has “been doing due diligence with the [District] Department of Transportation,” and has plans to build an underground garage with 70 or so parking spaces.

Still, Southwest residents who oppose the project say STC’s talk of “community engagement” is just doublespeak for intensified public relations.

“I think what they’re trying to do is rally support from arts-lovers all over the country to repeat the message that if you don’t like the [multi-story] apartment building, you hate the arts, you hate theater, and you particularly

hate William Shakespeare,” says Bob Craycraft, president of the Waterfront Gateway Neighborhood Association—an affiliation of eight homeowners’ groups representing roughly 2,000 residents along the northern edge of Southwest. “They have refused to accommodate our requests [for downsizing the building].”

In addition to community resistance, there’s a legal obstacle to the proposed development: The site is currently zoned R-3, which is limited to single-family homes, churches, and schools. To build what’s currently planned (or even a scaled-back version), STC and Erkiletian will have to petition the Office of Zoning for a variance or go through the Planned Unit Development process. STC has yet to formally initiate either.

It’s unclear whether such an exception would be approved. In mid-July, the District adopted a small-area plan for Southwest that did not recommend a zoning change for the site.

“STC chose to purchase this property even though the existing land use and zoning would likely preclude the building of their project,” wrote Eric Shaw, director of the Office of Planning, in a June 1 memo to D.C. Council Chairman Phil Mendelson. “During the planning

process and the public comment process, [the Office of Planning] overwhelmingly heard only negative feedback from the adjacent property owners about the impact of such a large building… While STC can rightfully state they ‘met with the community,’ they failed to provide any of the requested information or compromise on height and density and did not muster any community support from the surrounding neighborhood in the last 8 months.”

Though STC apparently failed to prove community support to the Office of Planning, not everyone who lives in Southwest opposes the development as proposed. Melissa Rohan, founder of Waterfront Academy, a Montessori school located at 60 I St. SW, says she’s excited by the rehearsal space and costume shops included in the plans because they would allow her students to learn practical skills like public speaking and art design. Rohan adds that she’s had good communication with the theater company regarding educational opportunities for her students, but understands some of her neighbors’ concerns over the density problems the building would possibly create.

“Change is hard, it always is,” Rohan says.

“But there [are] pockets in Southwest where we could use more economic bursts of energy.

If we’re bringing more people in who are going to be here during work hours and also living here, we’ll have more restaurants, shopping, and stores.”

Chase Coard, a budget analyst for the D.C. government who lives about a block away from the planned site, agrees with Rohan’s sentiment. A five-year resident of Southwest, Coard says The Bard represents “smart development”: STC has liaised with the community, and even altered the original plan to move the building back several feet away from the street. The increased density, Coard adds, would augment the potential of businesses opening in the area.

“I don’t have any concerns about Southwest being overdeveloped,” Coard says. “As a vested homeowner, it all translates to dollar signs for me—every new condo or infrastructure change.”

Regardless of whether The Bard would bring economic and cultural benefits to the quadrant, some residents have a hard time sympathizing with STC’s claims that its facilities are unfeasible without the housing. (“Shakespeare Theatre could not have developed this site on its own,” Jennings says. “We could not afford it.”)

Ehrlich, for example, criticizes the big-name nonprofit for failing to mount a capital campaign for the development site or build support for it much earlier in the process.

For other residents, the damage was done after STC struck a deal with SWNA. Andrea Paw-

ley—a 12-year resident of Southwest who runs a blog about the project, Out, Damned Developer! Out!—says an air of suspicion descended over the community last September, when SWNA withdrew its historic-preservation application for the site. Many people felt SWNA “sold out” the neighborhood, she says, since it didn’t consult with them about the deal.

“It was hard not to call it a bribe, or some version of scandal,” Pawley says. “If SWNA had held onto the application, I doubt Shakespeare Theatre Company would’ve bought the property.”

Kael Anderson, SWNA’s president at the time, denies any charges about hush money.

Though he stepped down from the voluntary position toward the end of 2014, Anderson says he did so because he had “put his time in” (he’d been SWNA president for five years on top of previous civil service).

“Anyone in a leadership position is going to get criticized from either side,” Anderson says. “My objective was to bring positive development into Southwest, if it was done right… to make sure the mitigation was locked down as much as possible. And that was a huge amount of work.”

Bruce Levine, SWNA’s current president, says the group is not taking advocacy positions toward specific development projects, including The Bard. Still, he thinks most residents would likely support the move, were it only a three-story building featuring STC’s facilities.

The prevailing attitude is that the proposed project is oversize, Levine adds; people have become skeptical of The Bard’s “brand.”

“If you know the actual deal, it’s not unmitigated wonderfulness,” Levine says. “At worst, it’s a back-office project coupled with a larger-than-appropriate residential project… My view is that it’s a losing battle [for STC] with the current plan. It’s gone too far for that.”

Allen, however, hopes the community and the theater-developer pair can hit the reset button, despite the “frankly toxic” conversation they’ve had thus far. The Ward 6 councilmember is of the view that STC’s project has “immense potential” for Southwest, and would add to the growing “cultural hub” in the area (the site is two blocks from Arena Stage) provided that the site is developed “in the right context.”

“That’s a corner that has been an empty, abandoned building for quite a number of years,” says Allen, who called residents’ concerns “very legitimate.” “Having a big empty building [there] doesn’t help anybody.”

But first, the parties will have to do what now seems impossible: “Trust each other.”

“Otherwise, there isn’t a path forward.”

CP

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 9

DISTRICTLINE Fishy Business SIGN UP AT PENNSOCIALFANTASYFOOTBALL.COM

801 E ST NW WA S H I N G TO N , D C @PENNSOCIALDC

Find out what ToDo Today online.

Volunteer For CliniCal researCh Optimal Research is a local organization dedicated to advancing medical therapies through clinical research.

Impact Future Generations

Volunteers are needed for an investigational vaccine research study.

Receive up to $1950.00 for Time and Travel Receive Study Related Medical Care at no Cost.

844-RX-STUDY pa r t i c i pat e @ o p t i m a l s i t e s . n e t • w w w. o p t i m a l s i t e s . n e t 10 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Just a few blocks away from the site of the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s planned headquarters, some tenants of the historic Maine Avenue Fish Market on the Southwest Waterfront are suing the developers of the $2 billion Wharf project as well as the District government for allegedly encroaching on their businesses. As the oldest continuously operating fish market in the U.S., Maine Avenue has been home to plaintiffs The Wharf, Inc., Captain White Seafood City, and Saltwater Seafood, Inc. for decades.

“We’ve been here for more than 40 years and built our businesses here from nothing,” said Sunny White, owner of Captain White Seafood City, in a statement. “Now, the redevelopment is trying to take it all away and throw us out onto the street. It isn’t right.”

Last Wednesday, the three tenants filed a motion for a preliminary injunction in the U.S. District Court for D.C. against developer Hoffman-Madison Waterfront, which had sent the businesses eviction notices on June 25. (HMW has moved to have the suit dismissed.) The injunction would put a stop to the developers’ alleged lease violations—including attempts to restrict customers’ access to the businesses and taking over “large portions” of the market’s parking—in addition to the eviction. D.C. is not being enjoined.

“From the start of construction of the project, we have been in regular contact with stakeholders, including the operators of the Fish Market, and have worked with

all of our neighbors to minimize any temporary disruptions to the extent possible,” said PN Hoffman President Monty Hoffman in a statement to the Washington Post. “We are sensitive to ongoing business at the Fish Market, as well as its historical significance, and we have taken great lengths to incorporate both the history and existing operators into our future plans.”

Those plans entail new retail space like a distillery building and market hall, moving the site’s fish-cleaning building, and refurbishing a historic oyster shed. The District owned the fish market until it made HMW the official landlord in 2014, as part of the larger Wharf development project. Expected to have its first residential building open in 2017, The Wharf will boast apartments, hotels, bars, offices, and music venues, including a concert hall operated by the owner of the 9:30 Club. It’s been almost a year and a half since D.C. broke ground on the development, in March 2014.

The big changes planned for Southwest have excited some and worried others: The quiet character of the area will transform as more buildings go up and more people move in.

“Southwest is an absolutely incredible neighborhood,” says Ward 6 Councilmember Charles Allen. “It’s a neighborhood that has so many different things: Metro stations, water access, parks and greenspaces, small and big residential buildings. A lot of people just didn’t realize it was there.”

—Andrew Giambrone

STUDIO, 1, 2 BEDROOMS & LOFTS

A FRESH PERSPECTIVE ON HOME FOR THE MODERN MINDSET

877.470.5780

NOW LEASING

CALL NOW TO SCHEDULE A TOUR!

9TH AND U STREET - THE INTERSECTION OF CULTURE AND STYLE GET INSPIRED BY WHAT SURROUNDS YOU. FROM COFFEE, TO COCKTAILS, TO SHOPPING AND, OF COURSE, SENSATIONAL VIEWS; THE SHAY IS THE NEXT EVOLUTION OF WHAT AN ENERGETIC NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE CITY IS MEANT TO BE. A SHORT WALK TO U STREET AND SHAW METRO STATIONS, CRAWLING DISTANCE TO NELLIE’S, TOWN DANCE BOUTIQUE AND THE BRIXTON. CONSIDER YOURSELF ONE PART PIONEER AND ONE PART BRILLIANT. OK, ALL BRILLIANT. SHAW IS THE PLACE TO BE AND THE SHAY IS WELL, EXCEPTIONAL, JUST LIKE YOU.

1924 8TH STREET NW, WASHINGTON, DC

I

THESHAY.COM

I

I washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 11

DISTRICTLINE Loose Lips

Packing Heat

Faced with a summer wave of gun crimes and homicides, the Bowser Administration gets its first real test.

LL crammed into a hallway with more than a dozen other media types last week to hear Muriel Bowser talk murders. The Wilson Building has a press room for this kind of thing, but the press room isn’t just steps away from the mayor’s CapStat room, where Bowser was huddled with District officials over data about her administration’s summer problem: the more than 20 percent increase in the homicide rate.

Ushering photographers into the CapStat meeting, Bowser’s staff could at least show that the mayor was doing something about homicides, even as the killings carried on.

Leaving the meeting, Bowser told reporters she was there to talk about the “unacceptable” spike in homicides. Unacceptable, maybe, but not unstoppable. Four days after that hallway press conference, Bowser had to go to another presser at Metropolitan Police Department headquarters—this time to talk about the death of American University grad Matthew Shlonsky, the unintended victim of a Saturday afternoon shootout in Shaw.

That’s the kind of summer the District is having. As the city faces multiple shootings on a single weekday, Bowser and the police are struggling to explain what’s driving the jump after years in which calmer summers meant that the city had left its “Dodge City” moniker behind.

Bowser isn’t the only District pol struggling to deal with the spike in murders. Councilmember Charles Allen, whose Ward 6 territory includes Shaw, tells LL he’s spent most of his D.C. Council recess dealing with the tide of violence. Allen says the violence this year is the worst he’s seen in nearly a decade involved in District government.

“I’m talking with many, many neighbors every week that are frustrated and frightened,” Allen says.

It’s not just murders. Robberies with guns are up by more than 20 percent from last year, while non-fatal gun attacks have increased by nearly as much.

The mayor and police are struggling to explain what’s caused the District’s recent spike in violent crimes.

Darrow Montgomery

By Will Sommer

Several of the crimes have been evocative.

A brutal few months for the District kicked off with the quadruple homicide of a Woodley Park family and their housekeeper. Since then, a man in Columbia Heights has been forced into a van by a group of perpetrators and raped; an assailant in NoMa punched random people on the street, then grabbed a baby; and reporter Charnice Milton was fatally used as a human shield at a bus stop.

Just three years ago, the District celebrated its first year since the 1960s with fewer than 100 homicides. As of Wednesday, the District is now just three murders away from that number, with four months left to go.

Months of increased violence haven’t left

12 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Bowser or MPD Chief Cathy Lanier with solid answers on what’s behind the crime.

First synthetic drugs were the suspected cause; a campaign against the substances intensified after police insisted that a type of the drug was tied to July’s NoMa Metro stabbing. But in a report this week, WAMU could only find one homicide this summer conclusively tied to the drugs. Lanier claimed there had been at least four synthetic drug-connected homicides.

The police have eyed other potential causes behind the increased violence. Deputy City Administrator Kevin Donahue blames a two-week beef between Trinidad and East Capitol Street crews for several murders. Oth-

er potential culprits include high-caliber guns with higher capacity magazines; the involvement of people who already have previous homicide charges; and arguments over bus fights or craps game that devolve into what District officials call “conflict resolution by gun.”

“It’s not that these things didn’t exist before,” Donahue says of the fights, “But they’re a little more prevalent and a little more violent when they’ve been happening this summer.”

The District isn’t alone in facing a summer spike in sudden violence. In Milwaukee, for example, the homicide rate has more than doubled year-to-year. Earlier this month, Lanier met with other big city police chiefs facing crime spikes, only to admit at the end of their conference that they still didn’t have much of an explanation for what’s behind the violence.

Lanier has reacted by putting more police on the street. In Shaw, police have been operating a 24-hour stand near the site of the triple shooting—the kind of police presence Donahue says will help reduce crimes like robbery. Meanwhile, city agencies have continued the Community Stabilization Protocol, a program aimed at stopping revenge murders; Donahue says the program has reached 175 people so far this year.

Still, it’s not clear how much any of this is helping. On Tuesday, Lanier went on NewsChannel 8 to urge more people to help law enforcement stem the violence. Within hours, another shooting victim lay dead on church steps on East Capitol Street, while a triple shooting left a woman dead and two teens injured.

For all the city’s anti-violence programs, government agencies are blamed for missing out on simple solutions to stop crime. After 31-year-old Tamara Gliss was fatally shot in Shaw in May, Allen says he asked for security cameras on a nearby rec center, only to have the Department of Parks and Recreation drag its feet on installing them.

Last week, that area saw a triple shooting, and now Bowser says DPR is considering installing new security cameras. Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner Charlie Bengel tells LL the city had similarly been slow to light the area before the triple shooting.

“Many neighbors have never even seen this level of violence,” Allen says.

There’s at least something to take solace in: The summer is nearly over. Donahue says that police expect violence to ebb as usual in the fall, when schools will reopen and the weather gets colder. Donahue hopes that, at least, the anti-violence work done this summer will CP have an effect then.

Got a tip for LL? Send suggestions to lips@washingtoncitypaper.com. Or call (202) 650-6925.

REFER A FRIEND & GET A MONTH FREE: FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIEND. FREE group classes including Piloxing & Les Mills Body Pump, indoor lap pool, steam room & towel service, discounts on personal training...and more!

Valid for current and new fitness memberships. Contact Member Services for details.

202-777-3218 16th & Q Streets NW /dcjccfitness @16thstj washingtondcjcc.org/join

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 13

DISTRICTLINE City Desk

Presidential Pandering

Hillary Clinton “I have always been with you, [D.C. Del.] Eleanor [Holmes Norton]. Of course I support D.C. statehood.”

Quality

Talking with Chuck Todd on NBC’s Meet the Press, Donald Trump revealed that he’d “like to do whatever’s good for [D.C.]” and would “certainly look at [statehood].” Not a very Republican thing to say.

Trump’s remarks got us thinking: Where do the other presidential candidates fall on the question of D.C. statehood? To give our readers some sense of the field, we’ve created a (non-scientific) scale scoring candidates’ on the content and credibility of their apparent positions on statehood; unequivocal support of it gets them a five, whereas mere lip service puts them close to zero. —Andrew Giambrone

Tomorrow’s history today: This was the week that Metro’s board decided it had to meet more quickly to respond to derailments and safety issues which are eroding public confidence in the system.

Creative Common CC 2.0 Attribution photo of Donald Trump by Mr. X. Creative Common CC 2.0 Attribution photo of Jeb Bush by Anythingyouwant

Donald Trump “I would say whatever’s best for [the people of D.C.], I’m for.

I have a total conflict of interest [because of the Trump Hotel being built at the Old Post Office Pavilion].”

Jeb Bush “I think statehood [for Puerto Rico] is the best path. To get the full benefits and responsibilities of citizenship, being a state is the only way to make that happen.”

Ben Carson “There are a lot of things that D.C. doesn’t have when it comes to infrastructure. For example, D.C. doesn’t have an agriculture infrastructure and that could be a real problem when it involves being a state. People who support D.C. statehood need to think long and hard about things like that. Perhaps it would be better if the District could have voting representation in Maryland or Virginia.”

1300 blOCK OF i Street NW, auG. 18. by darrOW MONtGOMery 14 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Mike Huckabee “They’re American citizens.

They pay taxes, and it just doesn’t seem right that someone could be even partially disenfranchised.”

Joe Biden “You should be a state…I’m not making a statement for the administration. I’m making a statement for Joe Biden. And I think the president shares the same view.”

Ted Cruz Despite his general support of local government, Cruz wanted to “Make D.C. Listen” by nullifying laws on contraception coverage and LGBTQ rights.

Bernie Sanders “I think it is morally wrong for American citizens who pay federal taxes, fight in our wars, and live in our country to be denied the basic right to full congressional representation.”

Martin O’Malley “Residents of [the District] have long deserved the right to have fair representation in their federal government. For hundreds of years, D.C. has been our nation’s capital. D.C. should not lose its independence and identity simply to gain the same rights all the states enjoy.”

Marco Rubio Rubio has voted to ease D.C.’s relatively strict gun laws and bar the D.C. Council from passing gun legislation.

Source, clockwise from Clinton: Norton’s office; teleconference; public event; press statement; Capital News Service; n/a; n/a; D.C. GOP event; speech; Meet the Press.

Credibility

Gear Prudence: I have an exciting opportunity to move to China for work for a two-year assignment.

It’ll be great for my career, and my family and I are looking forward to the experience. The only problem is that I have seven bikes and I don’t think I can bring them all with me. My partner says this is a great time to downsize and simplify, but I don’t know if I can bear to see any of my precious bikes sold. What do I do? —Tempting Opportunity Offers Me Anxiety, Need Yuan

The WELCOME HOME mortgage.

Dear TOOMANY: Presumably you’ve already given some thought to the idea of disassembling the bikes and burying the parts about your neighborhood, assiduously mapping the location of each subterranean piece, and pre-ordering a metal detector to be delivered two years hence, but you’re right to wonder if there’s a better way. Selling bikes and simplifying is certainly an option, especially if you can reinvest the proceeds in a new dream bike when you’re once again in the position to do so. But if you can’t quite go through with it, try this: “[Name of friend with a garage], you’re my best friend in the whole world.

Could you do me this one small favor?” Re—GP peat seven times.

Gear Prudence: In an effort to be more social and meet some new people, I went on a local bike shop’s group ride. Everyone there seemed to know each other already and I felt like an interloper. While I liked the ride itself (and was able to keep up) and tried to talk to different people along the way, I got a consistently chilly reception. What did I do wrong? Should I go back and try it again?

—Genial Rider, Obviously Unwelcome Presence Dear GROUP: A bike shop group ride is a great way to meet other cyclists, and D.C. benefits from a surfeit of shops with a plethora of options ranging in distance, speed, terrain, and destination (to breweries! to monuments! to parks!). But showing up for the first time at any of them can be intimidating, even for the most personable extrovert. Short of halitosis (why, oh why, must you put garlic in your coffee?), it’s likely you didn’t do anything wrong—you just caught the wrong group on a bad day. Don’t feel compelled to go back, but don’t give up on the group ride enterprise, either. Take advantage of the diversity of local offerings, as different kinds of rides will draw different kinds of bicyclists. You’ll eventually find one you jibe with in terms of riding style, destination, and level of interpersonal interaction. Soon enough, you’ll become one of those cycling snoots sneering at interlopers. Or you —GP could be welcoming. Whatever.

Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling?

Email gearprudence@washcp.com.

You can afford a new home with our Welcome Home Mortgage Program!

If you want to buy that new home, Sandy Spring Bank wants to help.

Our Welcome Home Mortgage* program is a great value: • Low fixed or adjustable rates • No mortgage insurance • Low down payment • No points

• A second lien to assist with closing costs, ranging from $1,500 to $3,000** • Automatic payment from a Sandy Spring Bank account***

To apply or learn more, visit a branch or call. And from all of us at Sandy Spring Bank—welcome home!

800.399.5919 • sandyspringbank.com personal | business | wealth management | insurance | mortgage *Loan program, details and offer subject to change and cancellation without notice. Must notify mortgage banker of offer at time of application. Not valid for commercial loan applications. Owner occupied properties only. Offer available for new applications only.

Other program restrictions may apply. **Eligibility for the second lien program is determined by the applicant’s income and/or property location. Please contact a Sandy Spring Bank mortgage banker for specific details. ***Auto payment from a Sandy Spring Bank deposit account is available. • Member FDIC

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 15

SAVAGELOVE I’m a woman in a straight relationship. I woke up this morning, and my BF wasn’t in bed with me.

He felt ill in the middle of the night and went to sleep in the spare room—where he found a condom in its wrapper behind the nightstand. Now my BF thinks I’m cheating on him. I haven’t cheated on him and have no desire to. I have an IUD and we are monogamous, so we don’t use condoms.

But I used to keep condoms around to use on an old sex toy that I liked but was allergic to. That toy is long gone (I found out it was made of terrible materials and disposed of it), but I kept the condoms in case I met someone. That someone ended up being him—but by the time we met, I had an IUD. I explained all this to him, but he doesn’t believe me. We’ve lived together for two years and were just talking about buying a house and having kids. —Condom Resurfaces And Shatters Happiness Your boyfriend should ask himself—order him to ask himself—which is the likelier scenario: that his girlfriend scatters condoms around the house because she’s cheating on him? Or that his girlfriend, like almost all sexually active adults who have used condoms for birth control, disease prevention, and sex-toy safety, has a few loose condoms rattling around her living space?

That your boyfriend can’t accept your perfectly reasonable explanation for that one stray condom, CRASH, has me wondering if the recent talk about buying a house and having kids might be the actual issue. Is he looking for an excuse to dump you, and the stray condom is a convenient casus belli? Or is he really that jealous and insecure? If he doesn’t want to buy a house and have kids, then you obviously shouldn’t buy a house or have kids with him. But the same goes if he’s really this jealous and insecure. You don’t want to be saddled with a partner who sees evidence of infidelity where none exists, CRASH, because life is a parade of incidents and ephemera—an easily misinterpreted text

message from a male coworker, a stray pair of underpants left behind by a boyfriend who predates him, a cute waiter/barista/personal trainer who catches your eye—that could potentially set him off.

Everyone is entitled to moments of insecurity, of course, but you don’t want to be with a man who melts down over nothing.

—Dan Savage My boyfriend of six months tied me up for the first time a month ago. He didn’t know what he was doing, and I didn’t get turned on because it hurt. I got him two sessions with a professional bondage top as a gift. I was the “model,” and I was very turned on as the instructor walked my boyfriend through safe bondage techniques and positions. The guy was attractive, but not as attractive as my boyfriend. At one point I shuddered, and my boyfriend is convinced I had an orgasm. He says I cheated right in front of him, and now he wants to dump me. What do I do?

—Helplessly Explaining My Predicament Call that attractive instructor, HEMP, and tell him you’re single now so you’ll be coming to —Dan that second session alone.

My boyfriend of three years and I have an ongoing problem. His libido is much higher than mine, and at one point I wasn’t making enough of an effort to meet him in the middle. But now we have great sex on average four or five times per week, and I initiate about a third of that.

(If it were completely up to him, we’d probably have sex one or two times a day.) This past week, I’ve been working crazy shifts for a work event—14-hour days with a 1.5-hour commute each way. I told him that I very likely would not have the energy to have sex. But when I got home the other day, knowing that I had to get up and leave again in less than seven hours, he initiated sex and I refused. I was too tired. He got very upset. Whenever I say no, he seems to automatically categorize my refusal as evidence of

16 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

laziness or selfishness. I’m not sure what to do at this point. I really want to make this work.

—Working Hard And Tired

At one point I shuddered, and my boyfriend is convinced I had an orgasm. He says I cheated right in front of him.

Your boyfriend is inconsiderate—in the most literal sense of the word. He has failed to take into consideration that sex five times a week is a lot of sex, objectively speaking, particularly in a long-term relationship. And your boyfriend failed—utterly failed—to take into consideration your current crushing workload when he attempted to initiate sex after you had worked/commuted for 17 hours and had to get up in seven hours and do it all over again. I suggest you get your boyfriend a Fleshlight, WHAT, for those moments when you can’t be his human masturbatory aid, and stop feeling guilty about having sex “only” four or five —Dan times per week.

I’m a bed wetter and am super embarrassed about it. My boyfriend knows, and I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me, but he makes jokes about it. He even once saw me wet myself and made a joke. I know I should say something, but I’m afraid to.

—Wants Emotional Tenderness

There are only two reasons your boyfriend would be making jokes about your bed-wetting problem: He is trying to be nice (he mistakenly believes these jokes put you at ease; he’s trying to make you feel less self-conscious, not more; he wants to make the bedwetting seem like no big deal, i.e., something you two can laugh off together) or he is a giant asshole (he knows you’re sensitive about it and makes these jokes anyway because HE’S AN ASSHOLE; he makes jokes expressly to demean you because HE’S AN ASSHOLE; he is intentionally shredding your self-esteem so that (1) you’ll think that no one else would ever want you and (2) you’ll settle for this guy even though HE’S AN ASSHOLE).

There’s just one way to figure out whether he’s a nice doofus who’s accidentally hurting you or a giant asshole who actually does mean to hurt you: USE YOUR WORDS. Tell him the jokes hurt your feelings—no smile, no ambiguity, no gloss—and then see what happens. If he knocks it off, WET, he was a nice doofus and the relationship may be salvageable. If he keeps it up, if the jokes don’t stop, he’s a giant asshole and he actually does mean to hurt you and the relationship isn’t worth salvaging. (Please bear this in mind: An asshole might claim to be a nice doofus—he’ll tell you he was just trying to make you feel better about the bedwetting thing with humor—but if the jokes don’t stop… he’s not a nice doofus. He’s a giant asshole.)

The reason you’re afraid to say something is that you don’t want to lose him. But you need to flip that on its head: If your boyfriend is a giant asshole—even if he’s just a medium asshole—you should be in a big fucking hurry to lose him. Say something.

—Dan Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net

Why did Paleolithic humans kill mammoths?

Evidence suggests early people hunted and killed woolly mammoths and butchered them for meat and hides. I realize killing a mammoth must have impressed paleo girls, but before the invention of Tupperware and refrigeration, what did you do with the resulting tons of meat? Either you’d have to have the biggest barbecue ever, or else try to preserve (and carry around) lots and lots of mammoth steaks. Wouldn’t it make more sense to kill paleo bunnies and other small game?

—Curious Vegetarian Bunnies? This is effete modern thinking. For primitive humans, the main concern wasn’t too much food but too little. OK, taking down a mammoth to keep the clan fed for a week sounds like overkill. But if the choice is between sustainable environmental practices and survival, you know what’s going to win.

In other words, this seemingly obscure question is a parable for our times.

Before we get all big-picture, let’s acknowledge what we don’t know. For starters, we can’t be certain early humans hunted mammoths on a regular basis. Human and mammoth fossils often turn up in the same locations, and stone weapon tips have been found embedded in mammoth bones, so clearly we went after them on occasion. But some experts wonder if we weren’t mainly finishing off mammoths laid low by other causes.

That said, the consensus among scientists nowadays is that some human communities took to mammoth hunting in a big way. In fact—and I told you this question had relevance to our own day—we may have hunted them to extinction.

Why go after mammoths and not bunnies?

For the same reason Costco members drive right past the 7-Eleven—acquiring food in bulk is more efficient. A typical adult mammoth is thought to have been good for well over a thousand pounds of meat—more than two million calories. Add in the bone marrow and fat, and a mammoth could probably have kept 30 people fed for two weeks.

A block of time like that gives you a chance to get organized. Specialization would likely have emerged early in a mammoth-hunting clan. The hunters would prepare their weapons for the next expedition, leaving the food-prep team to focus on what was surely job one for Paleolithic chefs: keeping the leftovers from going bad.

No Stone Age cookbooks are extant, but meat-preservation techniques have been known since ancient times. An obvious one during the last ice age would have been freezing, and in fact Plains Indians used to bury meat in the snow during winter; they’d also dry meat after large kills. Chinese historians have found that salt was harvested from

Slug Signorino

THESTRAIGHTDOPE inland dry lakes more than 8,000 years ago; many primitive cultures used salt to preserve meats, vegetables, and even their dead. Animal bones at one Paleolithic ruin show signs the meat had been smoked.

More exotically, underwater storage has been proposed as a means of meat preservation— experiments by a University of Michigan paleontologist show fresh-butchered meat could be stored in a peat bog for up to two years.

Archeological evidence points to mammoths being cut into large pieces for transport, with butchery occurring both at the scene of the kill and back at dedicated meat-processing sites.

These locations no doubt attracted scavengers, but that may have been less a problem than an opportunity—nosy predators risked joining the mammoths on the spit. Bone accumulations at mammoth butchery sites show some but not many signs of carnivore gnawing.

Mammoths were also valued for their skin and bones—spears and knives made from mammoth ivory could be used to kill and butcher more mammoths.

So Paleolithic tribes may not have let the mammoths they’d bagged go to waste. That was no comfort to the mammoths. As we’ve seen in other realms, efficient resource exploitation typically results in more consumption, leading some to speculate that our ancestors drove mammoths to extinction.

That’s by no means proven. Studies of the Clovis peoples of North America have come to mixed conclusions, with some believing it was too dangerous to hunt Pleistocene megafauna unless they were sick or wounded. Other maintain there just weren’t enough of the biggest animals to make them a primary food source. Analyses of teeth and such indicates mammoths may have been under environmental stress anyway—in other words, we may have hunted them because they were easy targets.

To which the obvious response is: so? Easy kill or not, the result would have been the same: fewer mammoths. One study found hunters mainly went after juveniles and females and avoided adult males—a good way to wipe out a species. Fact is, even if we were reasonably scientific and responsible about it, the natural tendency would have been to hunt mammoths —Cecil Adams till they were gone.

Have something you need to get straight? Take it up with Cecil at straightdope.com.

Fresh Food Market-Tu-Su Arts & Crafts - Weekends easternmarket-dc.org Tu-Fr 7-7 | Sa 7-6 | Su 9-5

tomorrow exchange buy *sell*trade

14th STREET CORRIDOR: 1318 14th St. NW • 202-299-9148 GEORGETOWN: 3279 M St. NW • 202-333-2829

BuffaloExchange.com

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 17

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!

BUYD.C.

Nap Attack

By Kaarin Vembar

washingtoncitypaper.com/craftybastards

y Cozy

Pillow Talk This pillow is beautiful enough to make a statement in your living room, but the down feather interior makes it perfect for 40 winks.

Ruffalo pillow, $60. Evo Furniture Gallery.

301 Tingey St. SE. (202) 488-6298

ARTS & CRAFTS FAIR Union Market

& 10 to

a.m.

Disco Naps Declare your nap prowess with this catchy tank top.

Queen of Naps graphic tank, $23.

Violet Boutique. 2439 18th St. NW. (202) 621-9225 Land of Nod Your little one can cosy up in this machine-washable blanket.

Happy Habitat baby blanket, $84. Salt & Sundry. 1401 S St. NW. (202) 621-6647

5 p.m.

Have fun! Meet great Crafty folks!

To sign up, email Chloe at

craftybastardsvolunteers@washingtoncitypaper.com.

All volunteers will receive free entry into the fair and a free Crafty Bastards gift bag filled with awesome goodies.

18 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

The Snuggle is Real What’s better than shuteye? Shuteye with a snuggle date.

Snuggle card, $4. Miss Pixie’s. 1626 14th St. NW. (202) 232-8171

Diary of a Sleepy Kid Runaway thoughts can seriously prevent your nap game, so spill all of your secrets before you settle down.

Geometric journal set, $13.99. Lou Lou. 1802 14th St. NW. (202) 232-6333

UPCOMING EVENTS

Monday, 8/31 at 6:30pm On the Edges of Vision Helen McClory & The Blue Girl Laurie Foos Tuesday, 9/1 at 6:30pm DC Sports Chris Elzey & David Wiggins Wednesday, 9/2 at 6:30pm The Rebel of Rangoon Delphine Schrank & The Born Frees Kimberly Burge Tuesday, 9/8 at 6:30pm Mr. Smith Goes To Prison Jeff Smith Wednesday, 9/9 at 6:30pm As If! Jen Chaney Wednesday, 9/16 at 6:30pm Landfall Ellen Urbani Monday, 9/21 at 6:30pm The Suicide of Claire Bishop Carmiel Banasky

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 19

Restaurant Week Specials

PRIX-FIXE LUNCH

22.00

$

PRIX-FIXE DINNER

35.00

$

HAPPY HOUR

Monday - Friday 2:00-8:00pm Featuring

LIVE MUSIC 7:00-10:00pm 1501 K ST NW,

(Entrance on the 15th St.)

Washington, DC, 20005 Reservations

202-783-8212 W W W . C L AU D I A S S T E A K H O U S E . C O M 20 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Faccia Luna

Since 1989

2909 Wilson Blvd • Arlington, VA • 2 blocks from the Clarendon Metro • 703-276-3099

823 South Washington St. • Alexandria, VA •703-838-5998 • 1229 South Atherton St. • State College, PA • 814-234-9000

DCFEED

Mmmm, Old Overholt soft-serve.

The Airedale in Columbia Heights will serve the frozen treat alongside French, Belgian, and German fare.

Read more at washingtoncitypaper.com/theairedale.

YOUNG & HUNGRY

Summer Slump

Is August actually slow for restaurants? Yes, but it’s not as bad as it used to be.

Nine years ago, in Mandu’s first year of business, chef and owner Danny Lee remembers how every restaurant suffered in August. It was the worst month by far.

“Our first August—we were still new; it was less than a year in—and it was just devastatingly bad,” Lee recalls.

Restaurants had to budget around the month, saving money so they could still make payroll and pay rent when Washingtonians fled the city en masse.

Conventional wisdom still holds that August is one of the slowest—if not the slowest—months for District restaurants. Congress is out of session, people go on vacation, and the weather can be oppressively hot and muggy. “It’s just one of those rules: August sucks in D.C.,” Lee says. (Unless, of course, you were a diner looking for an otherwise hard-to-get reservation.) “But I’m not sure if anybody really takes a step back and does a year-byyear analysis.”

The fact is, August isn’t the bummer it used to be for businesses. While it remains one of the least profitable months of the year, most restaurateurs aren’t exactly staring at empty tables. Promotions like DC Beer Week and Restaurant Week—purposely timed to coincide with what’s historically been a summer slump—help keep dining rooms busy and provide an infusion of cash. At the same time, the city doesn’t revolve around the comings and goings of Congress as much as it used to. And August tourism to D.C. appears to be slightly on the rise: The percentage of occupied hotel rooms in August, for example, has steadily increased from 72.9 percent in 2011 to 79.6 percent in 2014, according to Destination DC. “Over the years, it’s getting busier and busier where it’s not automatically your worst month anymore,” Lee says.

August business in Mandu’s early years was at least 25 percent lower than the average month. Now, Lee forecasts it’s more like 10 to 15 percent lower—down but manageable.

Matchbox and Ted’s Bulletin co-owner Drew Kim cites a similar 10- to 15-percent drop in August from average. “I would say this is probably the biggest down time if there was one,” he says. But he says it’s more consistent year-round now.

“Old school D.C., everybody left,” echoes chef and restaurateur Jeff Black. By “old school,” Black means pre9/11, when the economy was red hot. Now, Black sees a lot

Darrow Montgomery

By Jessica Sidman

D.C. tables aren’t this empty in August anymore. washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 21

LIVE DONAVON UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

FRANKENREITER W/ CODY SIMPSON THURSDAY AUG

20

EMPRESARIOS W/ BLACK MASALA FRIDAY AUG

21

THURS, AUG 27

LOVE CANON FRI, AUG 28

HONEY ISLAND SWAMP BAND AND JOHN NEMETH SAT, AUG 29

YELLOW DUBMARINE SUN, AUG 30

NICKI BLUHM AND THE GRAMBLERS W/ ANDREW COMBS SUN, SEPT 6

LOS LOBOS

THEHAMILTONDC.COM

Alexander M. Padro

Family owned and operated Italian restaurant

TUESDAY: $12 ANY PASTA WEDNESDAY: CARAFE OF WINE $15 WITH ENTREE PURCHASE THURSDAY: ANY APPETIZER $9 WITH ENTREE PURCHASE 1926 9th St. NW • 202-797-0523

Reservations can be made through Opentable

22 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

DCFEED(cont.) more people staying in the area, although August affects different parts of the city differently. His Logan Circle restaurant Pearl Dive Oyster Palace slows down because “a lot of that demographic goes to the beach in the summertime.” But his suburban restaurants remain fairly busy.

The problem with August now, Black says, is not so much that sales are down but that they’re uneven, which makes it harder to plan orders and staffing. For example, Black’s Bar & Kitchen in Bethesda had a terrible lunch last week.

But the next day? “I had to get on the line [in the kitchen] because it’s so busy,” Black says. “And I’m in street clothes.”

For Black, February is actually the worst month of the year. It’s a short month and often so cold that many people don’t want to leave their homes. Black says the second half of August and first half of September are the second worst. That’s when he tries to get his managers to go on vacation and schedule projects for the restaurants.

“I don’t even like getting media coverage in August because a lot of people are away,” says Black. If he’s doing a new menu release or wants to announce a new chef, he’ll try to wait a month.

Black admits Restaurant Week can be a nice bridge to September. Restaurants involved in the promotion last summer saw 16 percent more in revenue than the weeks before and after, according to a joint study between OpenTable, Venga, and the Restaurant Association Metropolitan Washington.

They also saw a 40 percent increase in reservations during that week.

Even restaurants that don’t participate in Restaurant Week often feel the need to do something for a boost. “You definitely up your game in August,” says Bar Pilar partner and general manager Jonathan Fain.

While the 14th Street haunt doesn’t do Restaurant Week, Bar Pilar is planning to do an Industry Week with Monday brunch and late-night specials this month.

Perhaps in part thanks to Restaurant Week and other promotions, the notion that it’s easier to get a table in August isn’t exactly true. August was actually the fourth busiest month for restaurant reservations in 2014 (after May, April, and March), according to data from OpenTable.

August is also one of the most in-demand months for D.C. tables on Rezhound, a site that alerts users when booked-up OpenTable reservations become available. Last August, the service saw 10 percent more demand than the average month. Only April and February (if you include Valentine’s Day) had higher demand.

Reservation requests actually drop off substantially in September on OpenTable

and Rezhound. Restaurateurs say the beginning of September can be a stealth killer.

“A lot of people have this false notion that right after Labor Day business is back to normal. It’s not,” says Mandu’s Lee. “It’s usually two to three weeks into September where you really start to get more of a regular rhythm and set patterns in terms of where your average numbers are.”

Historically, it wasn’t uncommon to see restaurants close for good around this time, says Medium Rare owner Mark Bucher.

“If a restaurant was going out of business, it went out of business because it couldn’t hang on in August,” he says. February might have the lowest sales, Bucher says, but businesses hang on for the Valentine’s Day bump. Unless they’re getting some help from Restaurant Week, “there’s nothing in August. And if restaurants are going to close their doors, they typically do it in and around or soon thereafter.”

To avoid this fate, some restaurants slim down their staffs or cut hours in order to make the numbers work. Bucher says that’s something that hasn’t been as necessary for him this year. He says his sales volume at Medium Rare is up this summer over last.

“We’re seeing a lot of tourist business or a lot of people who used to live in D.C. coming back to visit D.C. in the summertime and hitting their favorite haunts,” he says.

“D.C. is still very transient, so millennials move out, but they travel back because their friends are here. So we’re seeing that, which is a completely new phenomenon that I’ve never seen.”

Restaurateurs say that August can be a great month to open a restaurant. It’s slow enough that the staff can get some practice without being slammed, and by October, the restaurant is hitting some of the busiest months of the year. The only drawback, says Matchbox’s Kim, is that staffing is more difficult with a summer opening since cooks and servers are also going out of town.

August is also an ideal time for restaurant renovations. The Source and 701 Restaurant, for example, are both closing for makeovers this month. Mandu will also undergo a complete menu overhaul as well as some aesthetic changes gradually over the next several weeks.

“Even if it’s slightly slower that means we have just that much more time to still run service but also prepare for these new steps we’re taking at the restaurant,” Lee says.

“There’s no way I would have made this change in mid-October, because that’s right when you’re hitting this really busy season.”

CP

Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to jsidman@washingtoncitypaper.com.

DCFEED

what we ate last week:

Sweet corn tortellini, $23, Garrison. Satisfaction level: 4.5 out of 5

what we’ll eat next week:

Grazer

Open Mike

Two years ago, when he had just a few restaurants, Y&H asked chef Mike Isabella if he found opening restaurants addicting. “It’s fun to do, but it’s a lot of work,” he said at the time. “It definitely gives you a lot of gray hairs.” If that’s true, Isabella must be going gray fast, because the restaurateur now has more than twice as many restaurants—with more on the way. In addition to local outposts, his eateries will soon reach stadiums and airports from Florida to Los Angeles. His latest announcement: a Mediterranean and French restaurant called Requin coming to The Wharf in collaboration with fellow Top Chef contestant Jennifer Carroll. Can’t keep track of Isabella’s expansion? We’ve mapped it out for you.

—Jessica Sidman

2011

2012

June: Graffiato opens in Chinatown

May: Bandolero opens in Georgetown

January: Kapnos Taverna opens in Ballston

September: Graffiato opens in Richmond October: G sandwich shop and G Pizzeria open in Prudential Center in Newark, N.J.

The Drink: Wagyu Whisky Price: $49 for two ounces Where to Get It: BLT Steak; 1625 I St. NW; (202) 689-8999 What It Is: Twelve-year-old single malt Hakushu Japanese whisky infused with topgrade A5 Wagyu beef, which is both extravagantly expensive and widely considered to be some of the best beef in the world. Head bartender James Nelson calls the decadent drink his “science project.” He usually makes and sells a bottle’s worth of the premium potable a week, though a party of 20 diners recently bought out his entire supply in a single order.

What It Tastes Like: With fuller, rounder body than the unadulterated Hakushu, it’s

May: G Grab and Go opens in Edison, N.J.

brew in town

July: Kapnos opens on 14th Street NW

Devils Backbone & Jack Rose Willett 12 Year Barrel-Aged Sour Old Ale

July: G sandwich shop opens on 14th Street NW

Where in Town: Jack Rose Dining Saloon, 2007 18th St. NW

December: G Grab and Go closes in Edison, N.J.

2016

2015

April: G sandwich shop opens at Nationals Park

2013

July: Isabella cuts ties with Bandolero

2014

Darrow Montgomery

Smoked pulled pork sandwich, $11, Due South. Excitement level: 3 out of 5

February: Pensacola Beach House opens in Pensacola International Airport July: Pepita opens in Ballston September: Kapnos Taverna coming to Reagan National Airport

Fall: Yona coming to Ballston with chef Jonah Kim

Fall: Pepita coming to Los Angeles International Airport

Fall: Kapnos Kouzina coming to Bethesda Fall: Requin pop-up with Jennifer Carroll, followed by another Kapnos Kouzina opening, both coming to Mosaic District

Are you gonnA eAt that?

Drink

a truly Rubenesque whisky. The subtle but evident beef flavor mellows out the slightly malty spirit’s sharper edges and adds an unctuous texture.

2017 Early 2017: Kapnos Taverna coming to College Park Mid-2017: Requin coming to The Wharf

The Story: It took Nelson some “expensive trial and error” to get the recipe right. First, he renders the Wagyu down, and then seals it in a bag with the liquor. The meaty mixture is cooked sous vide for nine hours at 136 degrees Fahrenheit. “That’s below the boiling point of alcohol, so the whisky isn’t damaged,” he explains. After some time in the freezer, the fat that has risen to the top is scraped off, and the remaining liquid is strained through cheesecloth. It’s served neat, though Nelson likes it with a single ice cube to help the whisky’s flavor open up a little.

How To Drink It: It’s a sipper, not a slammer. After all, when you’re spending $49 on two ounces of anything, you should savor it.

—Nevin Martell

Price: $7/16 oz.

Rolling Out the Barrels The magical power a whiskey barrel can have on beer is no secret. Bourbon barrelaged imperial stouts hold a disproportionate number of spots on lists of the world’s highest-rated and most sought-after beers. Many brewers put their beers in wine, whiskey, and other spirit barrels, often with delicious results. Few bars have the resources, space, or time to experiment with barrel aging, but Jack Rose Dining Saloon is a special case.

Owner Bill Thomas, whose personal whiskey collection is double the 2,000 bottles that line the shelves of his bar/restaurant in Adams Morgan, leverages relationships with whiskey makers to acquire rarities—among them, a 21-year-old Willett Pot O’ Gold bourbon barrel that Beer Director Nahem Simon has employed to condition an imperial coffee stout from Pennsylvania’s Saucony Creek Brewing Company.

Willett or Won’t It? Simon and Thomas’ latest undertaking is a British-style old ale, a collaboration with Devils Backbone Brewmaster Jason Oliver, who provided a blend of two of his beers— two parts six-month-old Tectonic Barleywine, one part fresh Ale of Fergus, an award-winning English-style mild. He then aged the concoction for three months before placing it in Jack Rose’s Willett 12 Year bourbon barrel for another 13 months, long enough to draw out plenty of the 10 liters of bourbon absorbed in the staves. The result is a rich and complex yet balanced beer. Its nose has traces of coconut and vanilla underneath oak and boozy heat. The 8-percent-alcohol brew’s tart, acidic character—due to wild yeasts picked up from the wood—tones down the original beer’s sweetness and intensity while still allowing for a warm, winelike finish. This fantastic beer will almost certainly be gone by the time you read this. But don’t fret: Jack Rose has another keg put away for a rainy day and is working on barrel-aging projects with Flying Dog, Perennial, and Belgium’s Brasserie de Silly.

—Tammy Tuck

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 23

1000+

BEERS

WESTOVER MARKET

• Groceries • Wines from Around the World • Butcher Shop • Great Beer Selection • Open for Sunday Brunch from 9-2

With a butcher shop & great beer selection, we are your Beer & BBQ Headquarters!

Music on Beer Garden Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays

BEER GARDEN & HAUS IS NOW OPEN!

5863 Washington Blvd | Arlington, VA 703-536-5040 | westovermarket.com Rated Top Ten Brunches By OpenTable.com Subscribers

Thursday Nights In August Acoustic Happy Hour Starting 6PM Featuring: Stewart Lewis

“Stunning guitar work and Soaring Voice” Performing Songwriter “A New Breed of Blue Eyed Soul” Denver Post

Monday Nights Neighbors & Industry Nights 50% Off Food & Drink 202-872-1126 BBGWDC.com

THE FINEST PRIME STEAKS • THE FRESHEST SEAFOOD LIVE ENTERTAINMENT 7 NIGHTS A WEEK PRIVATE DINING AVAILABLE

Restaurant Week extended August 17-29 Full Range of Menu Three Courses Appetizer, Entree and Dessert Lunch $22.00 • Dinner $35.00

17th & Rhode Island Ave. NW

24 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

50% off All wine by the Glass and Bottles

WASHINGTON, D.C. PENN QUARTER 600 13th Street N.W. Washington, D.C. 20005 202-347-1500

ADDITIONAL LOCATIONS: BEVERLY HILLS, CA MALIBU, CA NEWPORT BEACH, CA COSTA MESA, CA THOUSAND OAKS, CA PALM DESERT, CA CHICAGO, IL LAS VEGAS, NV 3 Locations in SCOTTSDALE, AZ NEW YORK, NY

www.MastrosRestaurants.com MastrosRestaurants •

@MastrosOfficial

CPARTS

Two D.C. musicians’ instruments were stolen from the Union Arts studio space: washingtoncitypaper.com/go/stolen

Babe, Big in the City It’s been a group house, a venue, and a music label. Now, one year in, Babe City has bigger ambitions.

By Ron Knox

Darrow Montgomery

In a cool, musty basement in a brown and slightly slipshod rowhouse on a quiet street between Dupont Circle and West End, there’s a white wall adorned with the black outline of a skull. This is the Babe City skull.

There’s also the remnants of a drum kit, a microphone stand, amps, and a PA system that, on most weekends, fills this concrete shotgun space with ringing sound. Up the stairs, dozens of flyers line the house’s every wall, each a reminder of some piece of the collective—some band, some show, some tape release party or tour kickoff. This is the living history of this place, Babe City.

A year into its existence, Babe City the brand is having a moment.

Its eponymous basement venue continues to draw outsized acts. Earlier this month, the neo-go-go purveyors of RDGLDGRN packed the basement so completely with sweaty humanity that the stench crept up through the house’s floorboards for the next two days. Since Jon Weiss and the rest of the crew moved in last August, blossoming indie stars Diet Cig, Quarterbacks, and Eskimeaux have all played the house’s graffiti-lined cement slab of a basement, where propped-up mattresses absorb sound.

Meanwhile, Babe City Records—the label formerly known as Chimes Records before rebranding in May—teems with activity. The label has dropped two albums in the past month, scheduled a slew of records for early 2016, and planned major East Coast tours for its cornerstone bands the Sea Life, Young Rapids, and Den-Mate.

While the District is undergoing a kind of independent label resurgence, with Sister Polygon, DZ Tapes, Blight Records, and others rising up in the long shadows of Dischord and Teen Beat, there aren’t many like Babe City. It’s a brand more than a label; a collective more than a company. Babe City blasts from every inch of this house: The art on the walls is Babe City; the office’s crescent moon of desks are Babe City; the laptops, the microphones, the pile of yellow T-shirts,

and all of the negative space in between are part of a living, breathing musical movement that represents the molten core of D.C. indie rock in 2015.

But yeah, it’s also just a group house, where a bunch of dudes play records, drink beer, and hang the fuck out.

It’s past noon on a recent Friday, and Weiss has just come downstairs from his room at the house. Erik Strander mills around downstairs; for all Strander does at Babe City—enough to have his own desk in the office—he doesn’t actually live at the house. Peter Lillis does. He’s in the kitchen presiding over an orange plastic cafetière and a tub of fruit.

Weiss, Strander, and Lillis, along with Babe City resident

Paymon Kossari and frequent couch crasher (and Witch Coast drummer) Kevin Sottek, make up the core of the Babe City collective, as it were. Each pursues a specific task.

Lillis, a former Frontier Psychiatrist writer and editor, is building his own promotion and publicity practice; Babe City and its roster of bands are his primary clients. Kossari handles web design, while Weiss and Strander deal with general logistics—booking tours and shows, recording, production, and so on.

Sottek is pursuing a career as a tattoo artist, and his distinctive designs (think traditional flash tattoos in a carnival hall of mirrors) color every product Babe City puts out, from its custom website font to the flyers and art covering the house’s walls. The label also has a few talents working from the sidelines: Local photographer Michael Andrade shoots the promotional photos and Jen Pape handles project management.

With his shock of coarse black hair and beard to match, Weiss lounges on an overstuffed green couch in the Babe City living room, Trader Joe’s tallboy in hand, and expounds on what it all means to the home’s residents and cohorts. “We’re kind of obsessed with this label,” he says. “We’re so excited to all be working on something, and all be part of something bigger than each one of us individually.”

Hosting house shows has been part of the gang’s plan since the beginning, when Weiss and Lillis went hunting for a place last summer; they scouted for a basement big enough for a band and decent crowd the way some house-hunters look for a gas stove or front porch. They called the house Babe City after an outof-town friend coined the term to praise the aesthetic caliber of the residents of our nation’s capital. Once the group established the house, the label grew organically. The local fuzz-rockers of Young Rapids had recorded an album and were looking for a label; Babe City’s tenants offered to press it for them. Weiss’ bands the Sea Life and Witch Coast, both of which play music that fits somewhere on the washed-out garage-rock spectrum, became natural fits for the label.

Suddenly, the whole operation began feeding into itself— washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 25

CPARTS Continued

the venue, the label, the bands, the makeshift recording studio, the practice space. It all revolved around the house, the physical manifestation of Babe City. “The collaborative spirit helps physically, because we’re close,” Lillis says. “But also, the fact that we have the dedicated space to do it makes it easier to be really productive about it.”

By last winter, the Babe City tenants had transformed the home’s bright front room into dedicated office space that now houses four desks, including Lillis’ old-school wooden workspace covered in bumper stickers and Strander’s dual-screen computer command center. The group quickly began navigating the complex geometry of running a record label, planning recordings, and arranging tape and record pressings. They hired an outside PR firm to promote Young Rapids’ sophomore fulllength record Pretty Ugly, which dropped in March, but quickly concluded they could do a better job for far less money. That month, the label had a coming-out party of sorts at the Rock & Roll Hotel, where Young Rapids played its album release show backed by a crew of current and future Babe City bands.

As the house and label began to take shape, the Babe City band roster grew. Silver Spring dream-pop act Go Cozy joined the label and released a bright, urgent split with the Sea Life.

Perhaps the catchiest band on the Babe City roster, BRNDA, creates edgy, surf-tinged indie pop that prances on ground

26 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

worn smooth and radio-friendly by the B-52s and the Talking Heads. On its first Babe City album, released last week, the band delivers head-bobbing pop with just enough punk sneer to fit into a lot of disparate record collections. It’s also a hell of a way to fill up venues and sell records.

Then there’s Den-Mate, the rock-electronica crossover project from singer Jules Hale. While the rest of the Babe City roster could fill up a show or tour bill in several equally suited permutations—and indeed they have—Den-Mate stretches the label’s musical profile into contours that don’t easily fit into the label’s existing portfolio of rock bands.

The label’s catalog is still skimpy; when they dropped a fulllength tape from Staten Island post-punk outfit Bueno earlier this month, it marked Babe City’s fifth release. Four of those are tape-only albums—a format less expensive than vinyl. Weiss says that by early next year, Babe City will be far larger. He expects the label to have a test pressing of the new Go Cozy album in the next few weeks. Den-Mate and the Sea Life are both recording albums. Witch Coast will release its new tape before the end of the year. The label is also re-releasing a record from a Greek post-punk band called Life In Cage, which hasn’t been a thing for 30 years. Strander says he stumbled across the band and its self-titled full-length online, fell in love with it, and reached out to the band, which agreed to let Babe City reissue the record in time for its 30th anniversary.

Lillis talks about Babe City in both ambitious and realistic terms, often in the same breath. The most important thing now, he says, is for the label to be sustainable, but his future goals envision the label as a national—even international—force. As the garage-rock scene in D.C. gains newfound momentum on the backs of the Babe City bands and others, Lillis wants the label to deliver that music in every far-flung place it can.

If last spring’s showcase at Rock & Roll Hotel was a comingout party, think of this weekend’s anniversary show at the 9:30 Club as something of a graduation. The roster is anchored by

a typical lineup of Babe City artists—Young Rapids, the Sea Life, Den-Mate—but it will also involve the local punk heroes of the Max Levine Ensemble and experimental jangle troupe the El Mansouris. Welcome to the new Babe City, a label comfortable enough in its own skin to invite others in the scene to its big shindig.

Back at the house, Weiss and the guys trudge through the minutiae of running a label. That afternoon, three of the four members of Young Rapids—singer Dan Gleason and guitarists Alex Braden and Joe Bentley—huddle in the Babe City office complex, hashing out plans for tours both near and far. Weiss is handling the latter, which includes an eventual trip to Europe; he’s already making connections to try and get the band’s record distributed over there. (That way, the band won’t have to pay to ship them overseas or schlep boxes of records on the plane.)

Weiss is talking with a handful of different labels. One, Berlinbased City Slang records, focuses on licensing and distributing bands on U.S. and Canadian labels. Its artist roster bursts with brand-name acts, Built To Spill, Arcade Fire, Broken Social Scene, Nada Surf, and Wye Oak among them. “I don’t want to expect anything from any of these,” Weiss says of the European labels. But stretching Babe City’s arms across the Atlantic is good practice for where the label eventually wants to be.

Weiss steps out for a cigarette, and Lillis, sitting on one of the office’s couches, tries to explain how much all of this, even the muck of tour booking, means to him, to everyone. “This is the closest I’ve had to a collective, where every piece is fulfilled,” he says. Lillis didn’t expect Babe City to launch so quickly. He and the rest of the crew exude this deep stoner vibe, seeming to possess extraordinary amounts of chill and nothing more.

But for the past year, they’ve worked prolifically in this quiet office. And surrounded by these records and tapes, these stickers and T-shirts, this whole house, their progress feels real. CP Babe City’s one-year anniversary show is Aug. 22 at the 9:30 Club.

CPARTS Arts Desk

One trAck MinD

Soundcheck, D.C.’s newest EDM venue, is just what today’s dance-culture resurgence ordered: washingtoncitypaper.com/go/soundcheck

Fail Model Members of Congress have long been maligned for incompetence and indiscretions, but only recently have their failings been overshadowed by their librarian. During his 28-year regime, Librarian of Congress James H. Billington has watched his $600

Gauche

Get Away with Gauche

million organization stagnate in an era of unprecedented growth and change in information technology. He’s overseen the waste of taxpayer money, traveled the world on lavish trips, and exhibited a complete disregard for the tremendous import of

Standout Track: No. 4, “Boom Hazard,” an ominous, groovy standout from a debut tape by Gauche, a thrilling new collaboration between Neonates bandmates Daniele Yandel and Mary Jane Regalado. The duo wrote Get Away with Gauche by jamming and exchanging lyrics in between work with their other bands (Yandel’s in Priests; Regalado plays with Downtown Boys), recording the tape with a cadre of their friends from associated bands. Get Away with Gauche’s melodic post-punk shoots lyrical barbs left and right at society’s ills, all with a clear-eyed, deadpan delivery.

Musical Motivation: The sinister undercurrent of “Boom Hazard” draws parallels between disintegrating relationships and nuclear meltdowns. “I was thinking about Chernobyl or Nagasaki or Fukushima,” Yandel explains.

“Sometimes you’re in the middle of relationships and you don’t know how you got so deep into them.” She credits Cardiff post-punks Young Marble Giants as the inspiration for the song’s creeping shuffle. In “Boom Hazard,” doomsday never sounded so nonplussed.

Carry That Weight: “I am not your mirror/I do not reflect you,” goes a telling line from “Boom Hazard,” flipping the script of a familiar Velvet Underground lyric to make a statement about the invisible crush of emotional labor. “I’ve been really upset a lot lately with my relationships with men, where a lot of the interactions or pleasure I provide for someone are like, ‘You can project on me this image of yourself, and I’m the confirmation of that,’” Yandel says. She’s over it: “It seems like a role women have to play more often in the way that occludes my own rocky terrain, or my own unsmoothness.”

“Boom Hazard” is a warning siren: Escape before you get flattened. —Maeve McDermott Listen to “Boom Hazard” at washingtoncitypaper.com/go/boomhazard.

Gauche plays Above the Bayou Aug. 21.

—Christina Cauterucci

his station. Here, a semi-chronological record of his tenure and its pitfalls.

Earlier this year, current and former Library of Congress employees told the New York Times that Billington “has slowed down so much that he rarely comes in before noon or works a full week in his majestic office.”

He eschews office email communication in favor of using a fax machine at his house, coworkers told the Times.

Tapped by Ronald Reagan, Billington began his reign over America’s library on Sept. 14, 1987.

In 1990, Billington handpicked a roster of the rich and powerful for an elite new fundraising society, the James Madison Council, which would come to spend nearly half the money it raised on elaborate parties, dedicated employee services, and extravagant travel.

The last year the library had a permanent chief information officer was 2012. Despite being required by law to hire a new one, Billington has instead employed five temporary CIOs since then.

A March 2015 report from the Government Accountability Office identified “deficiencies” and “weaknesses” in the Library of Congress’ leadership and organization that put its “systems and information at risk of compromise.” It also pointed out that the library was not properly managing its investments.

Due to the library’s technological shortcomings, the U.S. Copyright Office advocated for its liberation from the library’s leadership in front of the House Judiciary Committee this February.

For years, Billington has stood by while the library’s holdings overflowed its storage space. The library inspector general has chronicled millions of books tripleshelved, stored on the floor of the stacks, or relegated to a warehouse in Landover.

A plan for expanded storage has been delayed eight years, and some rare materials remain stored in subpar conditions.

On June 10, Billington finally announced his impending retirement. Hallelujah! One library employee told the Washington Post’s Peggy McGlone that “some workers were thinking of organizing a conga line down Pennsylvania Avenue.”

Start the countdown now: Billington retires from the office on Jan. 1, 2016.

The Post reports that the James Madison Council put Billington up in $1,000-a-night hotels in Italy, flew him first class, and set him up with private cars and drivers. He took 44 paid trips in five years, including an annual jaunt to California; he spent more of his time there at Bohemian Grove, a yearly men-only bacchanal for the rich and powerful, than at work.

Library of Congress photo byTheAgency via Wikimedia Commons. Bottom Billington photo by SLOWKING via Wikimedia Commons.

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 27

FilmShort SubjectS In A ColonIzIng PosItIon We Come as Friends Directed by Hubert Sauper In the first section of We Come as Friends, director Hubert Sauper travels in a tiny plane through the most barren stretches of Sudan to interview the country’s denizens. Some viewers might find it difficult to place the film in time—the quality of life for most Sudanese has not changed much in decades, and Sauper intentionally avoids any contemporary political context. Eventually, he covers the referendum in which the South Sudan was born, letting us know that we’re in the very recent past, but the point sticks: This is not a film just about Africa’s current problems. It’s about the problems that were created decades ago and persist today.

As framed in this elegant, populist political documentary, South Sudan is only the latest frontier in Western efforts to colonize Africa. When the country broke off from Sudan with the support of 98 percent of voters, it was seen as a victory for democracy and peace. But soon, many countries—led by China and the U.S.—elbowed in, making deals with the fractured political infrastructure to gain access to the country’s oil. In other words, it was a victory for capitalism, too, a thesis the film argues with both poetry and clarity. In voiceover, Sauper tells of the “steel lines” that first divided Africa, the train tracks that brought both “guns and the British flag” to the continent.

Moments later, that penetrating steel is replaced by another: the smooth, curved lines of an oil refinery.

Sauper makes every attempt to clarify that he is not a colonist mining Africa for his own personal gain, just as countries have occupied it for political and economic power. His angle is subversive, rejecting tired tropes of the geopolitical documentary (see: an endless stream of interviews with political figures and whistleblowers).

One of Sauper’s most satisfying cinematic tools is his dismissal of the various figures who hold political power. There’s the pimple-faced British representative of the South Sudanese Business Council, whom Sauper cuts off in mid-sentence, leaving his oppressive doublespeak on the cuttingroom floor. It’s a telling difference from the time Sauper gives to the African people who make appearances; he lets his camera linger on their faces for longer than we have come to expect, letting Western audiences soak in the faces and words of people whose experiences have been kept foreign to us.

It turns out We Come as Friends is a film of

We Come as Friends (above) criticizes attempts to exploit African nations for monetary gain. contrasts: white faces placed alongside faces of color; the silver of the American machinery against the brown and barren land; and the platitudes of Western politicians—Hillary Clinton’s “we don’t want to see a new colonialism in Africa,” for instance—contradicting the realities on the ground. Late in the film, Clinton’s words and the talking points of nearly every other politician in the film ring hollow. In the end, Sauper’s artistic victories—his commitment to visual storytelling, his use of montage to upend viewers’ expectations, and his unwavering empathy toward his subjects—win the day.

—Noah Gittell We Come as Friends opens Aug. 21 at AFI Silver.

CoCky MountAIn HIgH Meru Directed by Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi Meru is as much about sanity as it is about alpine rock climbing (also known as big-wall climbing). Climbers and their loved ones face extraordinary risk and loss, suffer occasional catastrophic injuries, and are continuously yanked between their

28 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

ambition and their common sense. Nonclimbing viewers might wonder why they do it at all.

Part documentary and part North Face ad, Meru follows three expert climbers— Conrad Anker, Jimmy Chin, and Renan Ozturk—as they attempt to tackle the Shark’s Fin route of the titular mountain, a spike of granite in India that has a reputation for being unclimbable. Anker, the most experienced of the group, is the one who put the bug in the others’ ears; you can nearly hear “unclimbable” echoing through their brains as they attempt to conquer Meru in 2008.

What the men predicted would be a seven-day adventure turned into a 20-day failure: After a prolonged snowstorm and diminishing rations, the trio had little choice but to head back down, though they were only 100 meters from Meru’s summit. They agreed not to attempt the harsh and seemingly impossible climb again.

But then, you know, stuff happened. Life

got boring or, in Chin and Ozturk’s cases, nearly snuffed out, making a second chance even more attractive. With Anker, they decided to go for another try.

Ozturk’s decision seems especially bewildering; he risked a stroke after a serious injury. Chin and Anker very reluctantly allowed Ozturk to make the climb with them.

As Jon Krakauer, author of Into Thin Air, laments here, “No. No! That’s not right.”

Meru is full of such decisions, ones that would make most sensible people hit the brakes. Footage of the team members’ previous climbs, particularly one free solo climb up a vertical wall by Ozturk, seem designed to stop the breath and speed up the heart. And that’s not just because of the inherent danger of each outing: Chin’s and Ozturk’s cinematography offers spectacular views of mountains and amazing light shows otherwise known as stars.

Such beauty is so magnificent on a screen, viewers might almost understand why climbers tempt fate to see it in person.

Almost. These guys aren’t only toying with their own lives. Anker has a wife and three kids (and his wife has already lost a husband to climbing), Chin lives with his sister and her children, and Ozturk has a partner whom he conveniently neglected to inform of his second shot at Meru. Krakauer interprets Anker’s thoughts about this risk on their first climb in ridiculously casual terms: “I cannot die now, because then I’ve really blown it for my wife and kids.”

The film offers up a few other understatements, among them “Climbing is a really dangerous sport” and “[Chin] was really messed up” after a near-death experience.

As much as each man defends his choices, it’s difficult to understand the mindset unless you’ve been gripped with such obsession yourself. Sleep in a tent staked to a vertical mountain wall? Possibly destroy your extremities with frostbite and the rot that comes from an always-moist environment?

The glory and sense of accomplishment don’t seem like sufficient justification.

Even so, Meru is an enthralling experience if you can accept that this most extreme of extreme sports is a calling for some that can’t be ignored. As Krakauer puts it, “I have to do it, or else I’ll go fuck—Tricia Olszewski ing crazy.”

Meru opens Aug. 21 at Angelika Film Center, E Street Cinema, and Landmark Bethesda Row.

The Women’s Voices Theater Festival is off to a rough start.

A PlAgue on Both houses How We Died of Disease-Related Illness

By Miranda Rose Hall Bones in Whispers

By Kathleen Akerley Directed by Kathleen Akerley Longacre Lea at Catholic University’s Callan Theater to Sept. 6 There’s an old cliché about comedy and horror being the two hardest genres to write, because each one can end up too much like the other. Longacre Lea’s current double bill of two new works—a terrifyingly unfunny comedy and a goofily unfrightening scare story—is a great reminder that there is indeed truth in clichés.

Granted, the common theme for the two plays, disease, is a reliable inspiration for both genres. So it’s not so crazy to think such a combination would work well, particularly in the hands of Longacre Lea, a company specializing in the absurd, and its founder Kathleen Akerley, who’s tackled difficult-to-stage material before (e.g. Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle). Akerley directs both plays and wrote the second, Bones in Whispers. That one works better, but it just isn’t that good either, and it mostly seems decent in comparison to the other.

That would be newcomer Miranda Rose Hall’s unwieldy How We Died of Disease-Related Illness, a comedy of the type that throws random gags at the audience and hopes something sticks. The story, insofar as there is one, involves a number of people with a communicable illness that turns their organs into guacamole. There are a lot of gags, and here’s the absolute best: “It’s not vegan to pick your nose and eat it.” It’s all downhill from there.

Hall tries non sequiturs, deliberately bad puns,

Handout photo by C. Stanley Photography

TheaTerCurtain Calls

breaking the fourth wall, and that dreaded plague of bad theater, audience interaction.

It’s a quantity-over-quality approach, akin to watching an early-career comedian try to figure out her best material on stage.

Bones in Whispers deserves credit for attempting something difficult to pull off: a horror-suspense sci-fi plot on a live stage. It’s even got a cool, post-apocalyptic setting—a group of people who survived a vaguely described pandemic are stuck in a hospital where weird shit starts happening.

Akerley doesn’t quite pull it off. The big reveal is a retread of every haunted house/hotel/ spaceship movie ever made, and the result is unnecessarily complicated, weighed down with long monologues of exposition, and campy as all hell. Still, even when it’s predictable, audiences will find some intrigue in watching the doomed-from-the-start characters pair up to explore Hospital Don’t-Go-In-There.

The upside to a bad opening act is that the headliner shines all the brighter. The downside is that when both acts are nearly as long as a feature-length film (each one clocks in at 80 minutes), the crowd’s patience is bound to wear thin.

It’s too bad the production falls flat, because Longacre Lea’s actors throw themselves into the material with earnest enthusiasm. Most of the actors make appearances in both plays, but each script has different cast members in the leads. Tea Shearer is memorably over-the-top in the already over-the-top How We Died, and Alejandro Ruiz braves some awful pratfalls and worse dialogue for the sake of the craft.

It’s also too bad that this is the production to kick off this fall’s Women’s Voices Theater Festival, which premieres new works by female playwrights at 50 different companies. It’s a good endeavor deserving of an audience, if that audience hasn’t already fled in terror, and not in the way intended.

—Mike Paarlberg

STATE OF THE ARTS

City Paper ’s Annual Fall Arts and Entertainment Guide 2015 is coming September 17th!

Get your tickets sold and seats filled for the whole season!

Contact us today to advertise in this special issue: 202-650-6943

WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN

The audaciously funny political musical Now Through September 20

#SigFix

3801 Harewood Road, NE. $15–$20. longacrelea.org. washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 29

GalleriesSketcheS Hasta la Vista “Alone in the Woods” and “Renovatio Imperii” At Hamiltonian to Sept. 12

Don’t miss these terrific offers:

Panache Restaurant

$20 for $40 Worth of Food + Drink

The surface of “Sky Stack” is so delicious, you could dip into it with a spoon, as if it were a bowl of ice cream. It’s a painting by Dan Perkins, a recent American University grad who demonstrates control and precision with tone and gradient. “Sky Stack” is pleasant: a landscape oil painting, in which a rhombus of bright blue day intersects the sky of a piney hill scene at sunset.

“Sky Stack” is so good that it might just be bad for you.

Delight your palate with a variety of Mediterranean, French, and Spanish style tapas near Dupont Circle.

Available Now

Laughing Man Tavern $12.50 for $25 Worth of Food + Drink

Grab some drinks and tasty grub while watching your favorite teams on several big screens.

Available Now

Irish Whiskey

$10 for $20 Worth of Food + Drink Scotch? Bourbon? Whiskey? Yes, yes, and yes. You name it, chances are Irish Whiskey has it.

Available Now

Get your Real Deal at realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com 30 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

“Sky Stack” by Dan Perkins (2015) “Alone in the Woods”—a show of new paintings by Perkins, and one of two exhibits on view at Hamiltonian Gallery—gets high marks on execution. Perkins fades oranges and pinks expertly in the sherbet sunsets that appear in most of his scenes, and his framing device enables him to combine colors in ways that nature never intended.

In “Mountains on Mountains,” an image of a mountain, distant in the horizon, is set in front an image of another mountain closer to the viewer, which rises over a lake, which is itself set over a lavender field of abstract color. Stacks on stacks.

Perkins’ palette is rich but regular. He dilutes what would otherwise be a traditional landscape format by carving up the composition, splicing scenes to create geometric fissures in the space-time fabric. Yet even this touch is conservative. The landscape in “Looking Down,” for example, looks like a scene from an aircraft window, depicted in a painting that also includes the plane’s rounded window frame.

The landscapes might be anywhere; locale is beside the point. Control is the purpose behind these paintings. They recall something like Laura Owens’ early work, but without that special thing that let her paintings turn into what they are today: wild and frothy, yet totally under her command. Perkins’ paint-

ings are too tightly wound, and they take a bit too much pleasure in their own pure painterliness to do too much. Delicious: high in calories, but low in content.

“Renovatio Imperii,” also on view at Hamiltonian, is a tour through Adam Ryder’s paranoid mind. Through photos and some found objects, Ryder opens a Dan Brownian investigation into the Renovatio Imperii, the shadowy fraternity that shapes Washington power and the invisible hand guiding global affairs. It’s an Illuminati show illuminated by color prints.

It could easily serve as the picture round of a D.C. pub quiz tournament: Photos of rooms and artifacts from the World Bank, the George Washington Masonic National Memorial, and the Masonic Temple are easy enough to identify. “Oculus,” a photo of the oculus in the National Gallery of Art, which is rimmed by the Greek meandros symbol, looks like a thousand other photos of the skylight—but here, it’s presented as evidence.

Ryder’s photos look staged, like press photos, a presentation that runs contrary to the whole concept of a medieval conspiracy that has persisted through the present day. He’s included an infographic, a black pyramid that breaks down the hierarchy of power within the Renovatio Imperii, but it doesn’t quite line up with his offering of very known, mostly public, largely memorial spaces as true bastions of secret authority. (How much more mysterious might it’ve been if he’d thrown in, I don’t know, a suggestion of non-ceremonial spaces—a dilapidated warehouse in Ivy City, or an unassuming restaurant on Barracks Row?) But Ryder doesn’t go far enough with his investigation to convince viewers to look past the photos to see something more, something darker. A convincing deception (or revelation?) would require something more immersive, like a multimedia performance. There are a handful of ceremonial vestiges presented in a vitrine, but that’s it.

“Renovatio Imperii” doesn’t stand up as a playful investigation into the secret corridors of power in Washington. Without the gamesmanship, Illuminati artifacts seem simply whackadoodle—or worse, touristy.

—Kriston Capps 1353 U St. NW, Suite 101. Free. (202) 3321116. hamiltoniangallery.com

BooksSpeed ReadS Drone ranger Ballyvaughan: An Eddie Holland Novel

By John H. Matthews Bluebullseye, 284 pps.

Chantilly, Va.–based crime writer John H. Matthews is back with his hero, private detective Eddie Holland, in another police drama shoot-’em-up. Ballyvaughan is set in Austin, Texas where Eddie is trying to evade the revenge-seeking son of someone he killed in the line of duty.

There’s a problem with the phrase “in the line of duty,” though. Eddie did his killing from Virginia, where he signed off on drone kills in Afghanistan and Pakistan; in one of them, he managed to incinerate a former IRA terrorist. Fans of the unmanned aerial drone assassination program are hard to find these days, but even so, having the chief villain of a crime thriller go after drone killers poses a problem. Does he target the person who remotely manned the drone? The one who signed off on the attack? Somebody further up in the military hierarchy?

In Ballyvaughan, the fallen man’s son sets his sights—randomly, perhaps—on Eddie.

At the start, the book’s chapters alternate between the perspectives of Eddie and his stalker. It happens that Eddie is at work on a stalker case of his own, which involves a local singer whose biggest fan has gone off the deep end. As Eddie searches for this heavy-breathing loon, his wouldbe killer makes a beeline for him. The results: lots of explosions, a few dead bodies, plenty of armament, and frantic attempts to locate the professional assassin, who proceeds to attack Eddie’s best friend, client, father, sister, girlfriend—anyone in his social orbit.

Ballyvaughan’s fast-paced action rivals that of television cop shows; Eddie can’t stop to catch his breath, for if he does, his enemy will have bumped off someone dear to him. From the opening scene, where Eddie rescues a cafeteria full of children from a random psycho killer, to the lockdown of his father’s nursing home, the basic message is that no place is safe from idiots with guns.

Without knowing where Matthews stands on gun control, it’s safe to say that after reading a story like this, the old right-wing adage that everyone needs a gun to defend themselves seems more perverse than ever. Like many crime thrillers, Ballyvaughan is chock full of people who should not have access to guns. But then, if they couldn’t get guns, there would be no story; besides, professional assassins, good or bad, will always have access to guns.

This novel is one outburst of murder and mayhem after another, with little time for character development, big themes, or nuance. But these are not the chief features of crime fiction. Action is the thing thriller audiences crave, and Matthews certainly delivers.

—Eve Ottenberg Matthews visits Mobius Records in Fairfax on Sept. 12.

ON SALE NOW! TONIGHT AT 7 PM!

© DISNEY

AUG 20

AUG 21

SUGAR RAY BETTER THAN EZRA UNCLE KRACKER EVE 6

DISNEY IN CONCERT

UNDER THE SUN TOUR

WITH WOLF TRAP ORCHESTRA

MAGICAL MOMENTS FROM THE MOVIES Film and Live Music!

LITTLE BIG TOWN

GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE O’JAYS

AUG 22

THE PAIN KILLER TOUR

CHARLIE WORSHAM CASSADEE POPE

AUG 26

ORQUESTA BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB ADIOS TOUR

KRISTIN CHENOWETH

THE PEDRITO MARTINEZ GROUP

AUG 29

AUG 28 SINATRA SINGS SINATRA — THE CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION FRANK SINATRA JR.

SEP 2

WITH WOLF TRAP ORCHESTRA

AND MANY MORE!

WOLFTRAP.ORG

ONLY 20 MINUTES FROM D.C. Take the Metro and Wolf Trap Express bus from West Falls Church right to the entrance.

1.877.WOLFTRAP

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 31

I.M.P. PRESENTS Echostage • Washington, D.C. JUST ANNOUNCED!

J ames B ay

...........................................................SAT NOVEMBER 14 On Sale Friday, August 21 at 10am.

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

The Project

w/ Todd Wright • Irresponsible • Yum • Elegant Plums • StereoRiots .............. F 21

BABE CITY RECORDS & 9:30 CLUB PRESENT

OCT 21 SOLD OUT! SECOND NIGHT

ADDED!

Disclosure ................................................................................................................. OCTOBER 22 In association with Glow. 18+ to enter.

Babe’s Anniversary featuring Young Rapids • The Sea Life •

The Max Levine Ensemble • Den-Mate • The El Mansouris ................................Sa 22

AUGUST Dean Ween Group ...................................................................................................... Th 27

All Time Low & Sleeping With Sirens w/ Neck Deep ...................... NOVEMBER 16 Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness & New Politics

w/ The Griswolds & Lolo ......................................................................................... NOVEMBER 17

City and Colour w/ Bahamas ......................................................................FRI DECEMBER 11

THE CIRCUS LIFE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY CONCERT FEATURING

2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

Alex Vans and the Hide Away • Mundy • Justin Trawick and The Common Good • The Deeply Concerned (feat. members of Virginia Coalition) • Jimi Haha (of Jimmie’s Chicken Shack) • Margot MacDonald ........................ F 28 MJ Day 2015 - 6th Annual Michael Jackson Birthday Celebration with

THIS FRIDAY!

SEPTEMBER

THIS SATURDAY!

DJ Dredd, Jahsonic, O’s Cool and Grap Luva............................................................ Sa 29

PHAZEFEST: DC’s Queer Music Festival feat. #YASQUEEN Queer Dance Party •

Kiyomi Valentine • Frankie & Betty • DC Kings • Marus Webb..................................F 4

The Dough Rollers w/ Sleepwalkers & New Boss ..................................................Sa 5 DTLR RADIO • DA BIG FELLA • G PRINCE ENT. PRESENTS

3rd Annual All White End of Summer Jam featuring Backyard Band w/ TCB & TOB 18+ to enter. ......................................................... SU 6 Godspeed You! Black Emperor w/ Xylouris White .............................................. W 9 Lil Durk w/ GunPlay & Hypno Carlito ....................................................................... Th 10 Langhorne Slim and The Law w/ Twain................................................................ F 11 Heartless Bastards w/ Alberta Cross Early Show! 7pm Doors! ...................... Sa 12 Mixtape: Alternative Dance Party Late Show! 11pm Doors................................. Sa 12 Eagles of Death Metal w/ Jesika Von Rabbit ....................................................... Tu 15 Catfish and The Bottlemen w/ Jamie N Commons ............................................. W 16 Ride ................................................................................................................................. Th 17 U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS Viceroy ............................................................................................................................ F 18 Three Days Grace w/ Pop Evil ................................................................................. Su 20 The Fratellis w/ Grizfolk .............................................................................................M 21 ALL GOOD PRESENTS moe. ................................................................................................................... F 25 & Sa 26

The Jesus and Mary Chain 30th Anniversary of Psychocandy -

performing the full album in its entirety. w/ The Black Ryder ................................ SU 27

The Neighbourhood w/ Bad Suns & Hunny .............................................................M 28 Ibeyi w/ Victor Taiwò ..................................................................................................... W 30

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

9:30 CUPCAKES

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

O.A.R. w/ Allen Stone & Brynn Elliott ................................................................ AUGUST 21 Darius Rucker w/ Brett Eldredge • Brothers Osborne • A Thousand Horses. AUG 22 TRILLECTRO MUSIC FESTIVAL

FEATURING

Chance the Rapper • RL Grime • Cashmere Cat • Dom Kennedy • Kehlani • JMSN • D.R.A.M. • Tunji Ige and more!...................................... AUGUST 29 For a full lineup and more info, visit trillectro.com

Death Cab For Cutie w/ Explosions in the Sky ..............................SEPT 13 Alabama Shakes w/ Drive-By Truckers.............................................SEPT 18 Of Monsters and Men w/ Oh Land .............................................SEPTEMBER 20 OCT 3 SOLD OUT!

WPOC WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY FEATURING

Brantley Gilbert • Sam Hunt and more!........................... OCTOBER 4 • For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com

1215 U Street NW

Washington, D.C.

JUST ANNOUNCED! LIVE NATION PRESENTS

Kumail Nanjiani.........................................................

SAT SEPTEMBER 12 On Sale Now

JUST ANNOUNCED! THE BYT BENTZEN COMEDY FESTIVAL PRESENTS THE MOST VERY SPECIAL EVENING WITH

TIG NOTARO

featuring Tig Notaro’s legendary stand-up and some very special friends .... OCT 4 On Sale Friday, August 21 at 10am

Ana Carolina Meyerhoff Symphony Hall • Baltimore, MD

S ufjan S tevenS w/ Gallant................................................................. NOVEMBER 1 Ticketmaster

Grammy-nominated Brazilian Vocal Sensation!............. SEPTEMBER 18

AN ACOUSTIC EVENING WITH

Yo La Tengo feat. Dave Schramm ................................................. SEPTEMBER 25 Loretta Lynn .......................................................................................... SEPTEMBER 27 THE BYT BENTZEN BALL COMEDY FEST PRESENTS

DR. KATZ LIVE!

Starring Jonathan Katz (Dr. Katz) and Laura Silverman (Laura the receptionist)

DAR Constitution Hall • Washington D.C.

w/ Tig Notaro, Janeane Garafolo & more on the couch! .....................................OCTOBER 1

Glen Hansard......................................................................................NOVEMBER 28

F•F•S (Franz Ferdinand and Sparks) ..............................................................OCTOBER 5 The Zombies ODESSEY & ORACLE Live .............................................OCTOBER 8

Ticketmaster

OCT 10 & 11 SOLD OUT! THIRD NIGHT

ADDED!

AEG LIVE PRESENTS

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL ¡Mayday! & Footwerk ................ Th AUG 27 Alessia Cara .......................................... F 28 Sage Francis w/ Seez Mics ................. Sa 29 Mick Jenkins & STWO ................Sa SEPT 5

Blackbear ............................................... M 7 Say Lou Lou w/ Phoebe Ryan ................ Tu 8 Chelsea Wolfe w/ Wovenhand .............. F 11 White Ford Bronco............................. Sa 12

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

Bo Burnham ...............................................................................................OCTOBER 12

AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Jim Jefferies

Late Show! 10pm Doors .....................................................NOVEMBER 7

Steve Hackett From ACOLYTE to WOLFLIGHT plus Genesis Classics (1970-1977)

Including The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, Cinema Show and more! ...........NOVEMBER 13 • thelincolndc.com •

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

9:30 CUPCAKES The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth.

Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. www.buzzbakery.com

32 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

930.com

CITYLIST

Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33 Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 8 Galleries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 8 Dance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 9 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 9 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40

SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com

@blackcatdc AUG/SEPT SHOWS THU 20 THE COWARD’S CHOIR

Music

COCONUT MILK SUPER CITY

Friday

FRI 21 MAKI ROLL PRESENTS:

THE 8-BIT REVUE A SEXY JOURNEY THROUGH VIDEOGAME HISTORY (18+)

Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. The Project, Todd Wright, Irresponsible, Yum, The Elegant Plums, StereoRiots. 7 p.m. $15. 930.com.

FRI 21

SLUTWALK DC BENEFIT

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Escape Artist, Atoka Chase. 9 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com.

SAT 22

RISK

SAT 22

THE ESCAPE ARTIST/ATOKA CHASE

GAY/BASH!!

DANCE PARTY / DRAG NIGHT

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Hopeless Jack, the Rock-a-Sonics. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com.

SUN 23

Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 255-1566. The Battle. 8 p.m. $10–$15. jamminjava.com.

MON 24

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Shartel and Hume. 11 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

Funk & R&B the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Empresarios, Black Masala. 8:30 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com. howarD theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Luciano, DJ G-Nice, SPYDAthedj. 8 p.m. $25–$60. thehowardtheatre.com.

ElEctRonic u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Eelke Kleijn, Charles Martin, DJ Octane. 10 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

Jazz bethesDa blues anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Steve Tyrell. 8 p.m. $35–$45. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Tuck & Patti. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $27.50. bluesalley.com. mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Anthony Compton. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com. utopia bar & grill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Collector’s Edition. 11 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

BluEs kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. East and West of the Blues. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

TUE 25

For a band whose sound has evolved so thoroughly over the course of seven years, it’s almost too fitting to call itself the Escape Artist. The local group began as a loud post-punk outfit in 2008 with guitarist Fred Ashworth on vocals, drummer Chad Richman, and bassist Sam Ridder-Beardsley. It’s gone through several different phases; currently, its sound is a heady blend of drifting, ambient post-rock and psychedelic influences. Adding guitarist Ross Kerr and switching out Ashworth for Wanda Perkins on vocals further helped the group develop the dreamy, complex sounds it makes today. At Friday’s benefit for SlutWalk D.C., a movement that encourages people of all ages to speak out against sexual assault, expect to hear some new songs from the band’s recent recording session, currently being mixed at Developing Nations in Baltimore. Mournful alt-folk band Atoka Chase will open the show with a more rootsy vibe. The Escape Artist performs with Atoka Chase at 9:30 p.m. at the Black Cat Backstage, 1811 14th St. NW. $12. (202) 667-4490.

—Amrita Khalid blackcatdc.com.

Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Young Rapids, the Sea Life, the Max Levine Ensemble, Den-Mate, the El Mansouris. 8 p.m. $15. 930.com.

wolf trap filene Center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Gladys Knight, The O’Jays. 8 p.m. $30–$125. wolftrap.org.

Jazz blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Tuck & Patti. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $27.50. bluesalley.com.

roCk & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. The Good Life, Big Harp. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The United States Navy Band Brass Quartet. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

velvet lounge 915 U St. NW. (202) 462-3213. The Audyssey, Rick Next Door, Skyline Hotel. 8:30 p.m. $8. velvetloungedc.com.

utopia bar & grill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Ed Hahn Quintet. 9:30 p.m. utopiaindc.com.

Elijah’s Quintet. 11 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

Funk & R&B

classical

howarD theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Tamia. 8 p.m. $45–$80. thehowardtheatre.com.

wolf trap filene Center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Disney in Concert. 8 p.m. $25–$60. wolftrap.org.

reston town Center 11900 Market St., Reston.

(703) 912-4062. Terrance Simien and the Zydeco Experience. 7:30 p.m. Free. restontowncenter.com.

MUGGLE MONDAYS BUTTERBEER DRINK SPECIALS

DEAD HEAVENS

WED 26 SILENT

THE ESCAPE ARTIST

saturday

AMANDA X SPIRIT OF THE BEEHIVE

countRy

THU 27 FRI 28 SAT 29 FRI 4 SAT 5 FRI 11 SAT 12

ON 5TH STREET

KING RAAM

POSTCARDS FROM THE VAG

EIGHTIES MAYHEM BEAUTY PILL PHAZEFEST 2015 MAC SABBATH TITUS ANDRONICUS

EVERY WEEKEND AT 7PM

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

TEN FORWARD

Dr. Who HAPPY HOUR

EP. PER WEEK

1 EPISODE pER WEEK plus drink specials

A HAPPY HOUR 1 STAR TREK:TNG

ROMULAN ALE SPECIALS

NOW OPEN at 5pm M-F!

RED ROOM & LUCKY CAT PINBALL

merriweather post pavilion 10475 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. (410) 715-5550. Darius Rucker, Brett Eldredge, Brothers Osborne, A Thousand Horses. 7 p.m. $40–$199. merriweathermusic.com. mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Cecily. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

TAKE METRO!

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 33

DJ nights blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Gay/Bash! with DJs Cassidy and Donna Slash. 10 p.m. $7. blackcatdc.com. marx Café 3203 Mt. Pleasant St. NW. (202) 5187600. Latin Rock with DJ Luis. 10 p.m. Free. marxcafemtp.com. u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. BLISS with Will Eastman & Philip Goyette. 10:30 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

sunday Rock

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Amanda X, the Spirit of the Beehive, Flamers. 7:30 p.m. $10–$12. blackcatdc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. John Nolan, Modern Chemistry, Devin Clawson. 8 p.m. $15. dcnine.com. kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Brady Rymer and the Little Band That Could. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. wolf trap filene Center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. The Beach Boys. 3 p.m. $30–$45. wolftrap.org.

Funk & R&B howarD theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Tamia. 8 p.m. $45–$80. Trillectro Pre-Fest with Tony Lanez, Royal, Manny Wellz, and more. 11 p.m. Free. thehowardtheatre.com.

Jazz

zoo bar 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Mike Flaherty’s Dixieland Direct Jazz Band. 7:30 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

hip-hop fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Earl Sweatshirt, Remy Banks. 8 p.m. $28.50. fillmoresilverspring.com.

Monday Rock

roCk & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. 7 Seconds, Walk the Plank, Bishops Green, Success.

7:30 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Funk & R&B maDam’s organ 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. One Nite Stand. 9 p.m. Free. madamsorgan.com.

tuesday Rock

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Dead Heavens, Highway Cross. 7:30 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com. fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Social Distortion, Nikki Lane, Drag the River. 8 p.m. $35. fillmoresilverspring.com.

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Tuck & Patti. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $27.50. bluesalley.com.

Jiffy lube live 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow.

(703) 754-6400. Nickelback, Lifehouse. 7:30 p.m. $25–$95. livenation.com.

utopia bar & grill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Sherryl Jones, Wayne Wilentz. 9:30 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

roCk & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-ROCK. Life in Film, Broke Royals. 8 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

GILMORE GUYS LIVE

A year ago, I made a deal with my girlfriend: I’d watch three episodes of Gilmore Girls; she would do the same with The Shield. Today, I’m six seasons into Gilmore Girls, and she hasn’t seen Vic Mackey murder a single honest cop. I don’t mind—it turns out Gilmore Girls isn’t just for girls. It’s not an offbrand Everwood; it’s like a CW Simpsons, with a little Shutter Island mixed in.

The Gilmore Guys—L.A. comedians Kevin T. Porter, who’s been obsessed with the series for more than a decade; and Demi Adejuyigbe, who’s watching the series for the first time—have realized the same, launching their recap podcast right as the series’ Netflix release has made it easy to binge. In this D.C. taping, they’re talking season 5, episode 3, wherein the town reacts to Luke and Lorelai dating. What will those Gilmore Girls get up to next, and what will those Gilmore Guys have to say about it?

The show begins at 8 p.m. at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 600 I St. NW. $15–$18. (202) —Will Sommer 408-3100. sixthandi.org.

34 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

Is the Glass half full?

Is the Glass half empty? how about half off!

Bohemian Caverns Tuesdays Artist in Residency

Alan Palmer

Welcome Interns specIal Mondays - Burger + Beer $10

Fri. Aug. 21 Moonshine society the red

Sat. Aug. 22 Bruce ewan harMonica King Fri. Aug. 28 swaMp Keepers Band Sat. Aug. 29 dead cat Bounce Fri. Sept. 4 still standing Sat. Sept. 5 Big Boy little Band Fri. Sept. 11 sooKey JuMp Blues Band Sat. Sept.12 sMoKin’ polecats

happy hour m-f • 4-8 1/2 Priced aPPetizers 3000 Connecticut Avenue, NW (across from the National Zoo)

realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com

g au

UPTOWN BLUES

202-232-4225 zoobardc.com

Nu Soil

Brad Linde

DC’s Legendary Jazz Club

Established in 1926 2001 11th ST NW - (202)299-0800

PT SE

(various groups)

Bohemian Caverns Jazz Orchestra

Romeir Mendez Fri Aug 21st

Mondays @ 8pm

Reginald Cyntje

"This group is something special." ~ Mike West (CityPaper)

Generations Sat Aug 22nd

@LivNightclub

Federico Peña

Eme & Heteru

The Return

Fri & Sat Aug 28th & 29th

Justin Kauflin

African Fashion Show Fri Aug 21st

Black Dog Prowl

(from Keep on Keeping On) Fri & Sat Sept 4th & 5th

Sat Aug 22nd

Zedicus

Christian Scott

Fri Sept 4th

Lucky So n So Sat Sept 12 JoGo Project

aTunde Adjuah

th

Stretch Music Album Release Nappy Riddem Fri & Sat Sept 18th & 19th

www.BohemianCaverns.com

Sat Sept 19th

www.LivDC.com

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 35

---------3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

A U G U S T

THURS & FRI AUGUST 20 & 21

STEVE TYRELL

SAT & SUN AUGUST 22 & 23

JO DEE MESSINA M 24 T 25

DARYL DAVIS PRESENTS PATSY STEPHENS CUBA GOODING & THE MAIN INGREDIENT

THE WANNABEATLES

SU 30 INDIGO LOVE: TRIBUTE TO SARAH VAUGHN (BRUNCH EVENING)

S E P T E M B E R

!

Sam CHRIS STAPLETON Lewis 21 FIREFALL & ATLANTARHYTHMSECTION 22 JAKE SHIMABUKURO

23 26

An Evening with

GREGG ALLMAN 28 LUKE JAMES & Graham 30 LARRY GRAHAM Central Station Sept 3 BILLY BOB THORNTON & 4 EUGE GROOVE 5 THE SELDOM SCENE & JONATHAN EDWARDS 8&9 WATKINS FAMILY HOUR feat. Sean & Sara Watkins

(from Nickel Creek), Fiona Apple, Don Heffington, Sebastian Steinberg, and special guests.

12

THE MANHATTANS featuring Gerald

Alston

of Spade KING’S X Kings BILLY COBHAM

14 15

LYFE JENNINGS

16 with sp. guest DONNELL

RAWLINGS

DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM 18 BILL KIRCHEN & Too Much Fun and JUMPIN’ JUPITER

17

19 From France

Trio Caliente

LARRY GATLIN & THE GATLIN BROTHERS 23 STEVE EARLE & THE DUKES 24 JOHN ONDRASIK 20

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 4

SPYRO GYRA

of FIVE FOR FIGHTING with Quartet

MAYSA BUDDY GUY

25 28

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500

THEMILKCARTONKIDS w/Kacy & Clayton

Sept. 10, 8:00 pm Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

Presents

36 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

“LE ONDE: WAVES OF ITALIAN INFLUENCE (1914–1971)” Abstract art movements popped up in Europe and America throughout the 20th century, but the Hirshhorn’s latest exhibition encourages viewers to take a more focused look at how Italian artists brought abstraction to the attention of international arts communities. Featuring movements as diverse as Arte Povera, Futurism, kinetic art, and op art, the stark and spare pieces stand out among the flashier works more often associated with abstraction. Take Giacomo Balla’s 1914-15 work “Sculptural Construction of Noise and Speed” (pictured). At a time of budding invention and industrial nationalism, Balla molded materials into pointed, angular shapes that reach out to the viewer. In a nod to the “waves” of influence noted in the exhibition’s title, curators were wise to include works by kinetic artists like Heinz Mack and painter Carlo Battaglia, whose influence reverberated around the world. Several of the featured works in the show haven’t been displayed since the Hirshhorn’s inaugural exhibition in 1975, so now’s the perfect time to look back at these artists who, long ago, looked to the future.

The exhibition is on view daily 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., to Jan. 3, 2016, at the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden, 7th Street and Independence Avenue SW. Free. (202) 633-4674.

—Jordan-Marie Smith hirshhorn.si.edu. wolf trap filene Center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Santana. 7:30 p.m. (Sold out) wolftrap.org.

“Spectrum 40”

TH 27 SECRET SOCIETY S 29

In the

Aug 20

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

Washington DC Tickets On Sale Now! through Lisner.org or call (202) 994-6800.

Funk & R&B kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The D.C. Legendary Musicians Band. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. maDam’s organ 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. The Johnny Artis Band. 9 p.m. Free. madamsorgan.com.

Jazz utopia bar & grill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. Lyle Link Trio. 9:30 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

Wednesday Rock

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Silent on Fifth Street, Artifacts, Enoch the 7th Prophet. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.

Funk & R&B warner theatre 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000.

Fifth Harmony, Bea Miller, Natalie La Rose, Common Kings. 8 p.m. $27.50`–$50.50. warnertheatre.com.

BluEs zoo bar 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 2324225. Open Mic Blues Jam. 8:30 p.m. Free. zoobardc.com.

countRy maDam’s organ 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. The Human Country Jukebox Band. 9 p.m. Free. madamsorgan.com.

WoRlD kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Rafiya. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

thursday Rock

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Fake Palms, The Milestones, Camps. 8:30 p.m. $8. dcnine.com.

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Dean Ween Group. 8 p.m. $25. 930.com.

musiC Center at strathmore 5301 Tuckerman Lane, Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Melissa Etheridge. 8 p.m. $40.50–$85. strathmore.org.

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Justin Hayward, Mike Dawes. 7:30 p.m. $69.50. birchmere.com. Justin Hayward, Mike Dawes. 7:30 p.m. $69.50. birchmere.com.

Jazz howarD theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Kamasi Washington. 8 p.m. $25–$40. thehowardtheatre.com.

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. King Raam, Smoke Season. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Delta Saints, Tomato Dodgers. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 37

Jazz utopia bar & grill 1418 U St. NW. (202) 4837669. The Wayne Wilentz Trio. 9:30 p.m. Free. utopiaindc.com.

countRy the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Love Canon. 7:30 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com. mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Davis Bradley Duo. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

WoRlD

FRI AUGUST 21ST

LUCIANO

SAT AUG 22 + SUN AUG 23

TAMIA

WED AUGUST 26TH

KAMASI WASHINGTON

THU AUG 27 - SAT AUG 29 3 NIGHTS OF

SAVION GLOVER SUN AUGUST 30TH THE REUNION OF TOBY PALMER

& CHOSEN GENERATION

THU SEPTEMBER 3RD

FAT TREL

FRI SEPTEMBER 4TH NEO AGE SHOWCASE FT.

DEANGELO REDMAN,

THE AMOURS, TANGINA STONE & ROB MILTON

SUN SEPTEMBER 6TH

LABOR DAY FEST WITH THE KINGS OF GO-GO FT.

BIG TONY & TROUBLE FUNK, SUGAR BEAR & EU, JAMES FUNK & PROPER UTENSILS, BUGGS & JUNKYARD BAND

WED SEPTEMBER 9TH

DRU HILL

FT. SISQO, NOKIO, JAZZ & TAO

FRI SEPTEMBER 11TH LIZZ WRIGHT CD RELEASE SHOW

8/23

FT. INTERNATIONAL RECORDING ARTIST SAXAPHONIST ART SHERROD JR.

8/30

FT. ANTONE "CHOOKY" CALDWELL

38 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

kenneDy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Ustad Shafaat Khan. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. maDam’s organ 2461 18th St. NW. (202) 6675370. Patrick Alban and Noche Latina. 9 p.m. Free. madamsorgan.com.

hip-hop u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. ¡Mayday! & Footwerk. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

DJ nights marx Café 3203 Mt. Pleasant St. NW. (202) 5187600. Dark grooves and classic funk. 10 p.m. Free. marxcafemtp.com.

Books

matt buriesCi The author, a former executive director of the PEN/Faulkner Foundation, describes sharing his love for books with his daughter in Dead White Guys: a Father, a Daughter, and the Great Books of the Western World. Busboys & Poets 14th and V. 2021 14th St. NW. Aug. 25, 6:30 p.m. Free. (202) 387-7638.

DaviD vine The author reads from his latest book, Base Nation, which focuses on the nearly 1,000 military installations the U.S. controls around the world and advocates for their closure. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 26, 7 p.m. Free.

(202) 364-1919.

miChelle golDberg In The Goddess Pose, Goldberg, a senior contributing editor at The Nation, tells the story of Indra Devi, the woman credited with bringing yoga techniques and philosophy to the western world. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 21, 7 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919. robert goolriCk The author reads from his third novel, The Fall of Princes, about a group of young brokers making and breaking their fortunes on Wall Street in the 1980s. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 24, 7 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919. ronnie greene Greene, a reporter with the Center for Public Integrity, reads from his latest book, Shots on the Bridge: Police Violence and Cover-Up in the Wake of Katrina. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 25, 7 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919. stephen harDing The author tells the story of the final American to die during World War II in Last to Die: A Defeated Empire, A Forgotten Mission, and the Last American Killed in World War II. Busboys and Poets Takoma. 234 Carroll St. NW. Aug. 24, 6:30 p.m. Free.

(202) 726-9525. miChael maCCoby The author and business leader provides his tips for success in Strategic Intelligence: Conceptual Tools for Leading Change. Politics & Prose.

5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 27, 7 p.m. Free.

(202) 364-1919. boots riley A member of the rap group the Coup, Riley also dabbles in activism. He discusses his work and his new book with Dave Zirin of The Nation. Busboys & Poets 14th and V. 2021 14th St. NW. Aug. 26, 6:30 p.m. Free. (202) 387-7638. ronnie greene Greene, a reporter with the Associated Press, has focused on exposing social ills throughout his career. His new book, Shots on the Bridge, focuses on police violence in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 25, 7 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919.

Galleries

aDDison/ripley fine art 1670 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 338-5180. addisonripleyfineart.com. Closing: “dihiscent: out of the closet & off the walls.” The gallery pulls some beloved and well-known works out of storage and showcases them on the walls for this new group exhibition. July 15–Aug. 21. arlington arts Center 3550 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 248-6800. arlingtonartscenter.org. ongo-

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

26 PEBBLES

Since assuming office in 2009, President Obama has addressed the nation 10 times after mass shooting incidents. Dozens more massacres have occurred in those six years and yet, from Tucson to Charleston, nothing seems to change. Arena Stage Artistic Director Molly Smith has fought for gun reform for years; this week, a staged reading of a new play brings her personal and professional causes together. Eric Ulloa’s docudrama 26 Pebbles remembers the victims of the 2012 tragedy in Newtown, Conn. During his research, Ulloa spoke with many Newtown residents—business owners, parents of victims, and teachers, among them—in order to create a verbatim recollection of the event and its aftermath. In D.C., veteran actors like Edward Gero, Joshua Morgan, and Lise Bruneau will give life to the emotional text. Proceeds benefit Everytown for Gun Safety and the Newtown Action Alliance, two organizations dedicated to preventing horrors like those from happening again. The reading begins at 8 p.m. at Arena Stage, 1101 6th St. SW. $20. (202) 554-9066. arenastage.org.

—Caroline Jones

TOP PRICES PAID

CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

DOGFIGHT

for your Records (33S or 45S) CD’s or DVD’s

Right now in D.C., everyone and their theatergoing mother is raving about Benj Pasek and Justin Paul’s new musical Dear Evan Hansen, currently playing at Arena Stage. After the show departs the District for an Off-Broadway stage, educate yourself on the pair’s previous work, Dogfight, which opens at the Keegan Theatre. Based on the 1991 film of the same name, this musical tells the story of three young Marines in the early ’60s. On the verge of deploying to Vietnam, the trio plans one more night of debauchery in San Francisco and makes a nasty bet to see who can find the ugliest date to bring to the party—the titular “dogfight.”

When one of the men, Eddie Birdlace, stumbles upon shy folk singer Rose in a diner, he momentarily forgets the bet and invites her to the party. This coming-of-age musical has a lot of heart and hilarity as it explores the timeless quandary of whether bros should value one another before—well, you know. With a smartly written book by Peter Duchan and memorable songs by Pasek and Paul, this award-winning show provides emotional impact as deep as Evan Hansen’s, but with a much more affordable price tag. The play runs Aug. 22 to Sept.

19 at Keegan Theatre, 1742 Church St. NW. $35–$45. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com.

—Diana Metzger ing: “Play.” Games and toys are examined through the lens of contemporary art in this group show that aims to engage viewers of all ages. July 11–Oct. 10.

athenaeum 201 Prince St., Alexandria. (703) 548-0035. nvfaa.org. ongoing: “Fields of Energy.”

Abstract works by David Carlson and Pat Goslee, painters who are very concerned with spiritual exploration.

July 23–Sept. 6. brentwooD arts exChange 3901 Rhode Island Ave., Brentwood. (301) 277-2863. arts.pgparks.com. ongoing: “Ellen Cornett.” After winning Project America’s Next Top Master Artist contest, Cheverlybased artist Cornett presents a variety of work in this solo show. Aug. 3–Sept. 26.

DC arts Center 2438 18th St. NW. (202) 462-7833. dcartscenter.org. ongoing: DCAC members and amateur artists display their own work at this annual celebration of experimental and inventive art.

July 10–Aug. 30. honfleur gallery 1241 Good Hope Road SE. (202) 365-8392. honfleurgallery.com. ongoing: “8th Annual East of the River Exhibition.” Works by artists living and working in Wards 7 and 8 are selected by a panel of jurors and displayed at this annual exhibition.

July 10–Aug. 28. viviD solutions gallery 1231 Good Hope Road SE. (202) 365-8392. vividsolutionsdc.com. ongoing: “Innocent Eyes of Tierra Bomba.” Photographs of the remote Colombian island by Jonathan French, winner of the 2014 East of the River Distinguished Artist Award. July 10–Aug. 28.

dance

savion glover The acclaimed tap dancer and choreographer, known for his work on Sesame Street and Broadway musicals like Jelly’s Last Jam and Bring in ‘da Noise, Bring in ‘da Funk, performs a solo show at the Howard Theatre. The Howard Theatre. 620 T St. NW. To Aug. 29. $35–$55. (202) 803-2899. thehowardtheatre.com.

theater

the baltimore waltz In honor of the play’s 25th anniversary, Rep Stage presents this Paula Vogel work about a pair of siblings who attempt to cure a disease and find romance while exploring Europe. Rep Stage at Howard Community College. 10901 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. To Sept. 13. $15-$40. (443) 5181500. repstage.org.

Dear evan hansen In this moving musical, Ben Platt (Pitch Perfect) stars as a man who appears to have a perfect life—a beautiful girlfriend, a happy family, and a chance to finally fit in—but his secrets threaten the life he’s built. Tony Award nominee Michael Greif directs this new piece about how we survive in a modern world. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Aug. 23. $40-$100. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

Dogfight Three Marines, on the verge of being deployed to Southeast Asia, come together for a final night of fun and confront their own mortality when a young waitress teaches them a few lessons about love and companionship. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To Sept. 19. $35-$45.

(703) 892-0202. keegantheatre.com. the fix When a presidential candidate dies unexpectedly, his widow recruits her son to run in his place in this lively musical directed by Signature Artistic Director Eric Schaeffer. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Sept. 20. $29-$85. (703) 820-9771. signature-theatre.org. how we DieD of Disease-relateD illnesses, bones in whispers Longacre Lea presents these two plays about the consequences of disease as part of Women’s Voices Theater Festival. In How We Died..., an American returning from abroad is isolated when he contracts an unnamed illness and is forced to confront his own mortality in comedic ways. In Bones in Whispers, two clans who have survived a plague confront each other using guns and hip-hop dance to express their feelings. Longacre Lea at Callan Theatre at Catholic University. 3801 Harewood Road NE. To Sept. 6. $20. longacrelea.org.

NO COLLECTION TOO SMALL or LARGE WE BUY EVERYTHING! Call STEVE at 301-646-5403 or e-mail:

stevebuysrecords@gmail.com

Find out what ToDo Today online.

august Saturday Aug. 15 ROUNDABOUT Sunday Aug.16

DR. NITTLER'S ELASTIC SOULTASTIC PLANET

Wednesday Aug. 19

OPEN MIC NIGHT Hosted by Chris Brooks

Thursday Aug. 20 BEN MASON BAND

Friday Aug. 21 FIVES Saturday Aug. 22 SOOKY JUMP Wednesday Aug. 26

OPEN MIC NIGHT Hosted by BRIAN WEBER

Thursday Aug. 27 JELLY ROLL MORTALS

Friday Aug. 28 BOX ERA Friday Aug.29

Frank's Night Out featuring BEGGARS TOMB CONCERTS@VILLAINANDSAINT.COM • TICKETFLY.COM

7141 WISCONSIN AVE, BETHESDA MD 20814 • 240-800-4700

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 39

LIVE DONAVON UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

FRANKENREITER W/ CODY SIMPSON THURSDAY AUG

20

intimate apparel Deanna Dykes and Kristin Poe direct this moving drama about a Black seamstress in early 20th century New York who works for everyone from wealthy clients to prostitutes and yearns to find love. Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To Aug. 29. $20-$25. (202) 544-0703. anacostiaplayhouse.com.

“BLINDINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND METICULOUSLY ASSEMBLED.” —JEANNETTE CATSOULIS, THE NEW YORK TIMES

“A MOVING TALE OF SUPER HUMAN PERSEVERANCE.” —THE PLAYLIST

★★★★

“BREATHTAKING.”

— TOM KEOGH, THE SEATTLE TIMES

“ABSOLUTELY WORTH THE CLIMB.” —PAULA MEJIA, NEWSWEEK

“AN IRRESISTIBLE WHITE-KNUCKLER.” —SCOTT TOBIAS, THE DISSOLVE

EMPRESARIOS W/ BLACK MASALA FRIDAY AUG

21

THURS, AUG 27

LOVE CANON

“A CROWD-PLEASER… WORTH SEEKING OUT ON THE BIG SCREEN.”

—ALAN SHERSTUHL, THE VILLAGE VOICE

“SPECTACULAR! MERU WILL OPEN YOUR EYES.” “ONE OF THE BEST ADVENTURES EVER TOLD ON FILM.”

HONEY ISLAND SWAMP BAND AND JOHN NEMETH

WINNER

CHARLIE FOWLER AWARD

TELLURIDE MOUNTAINFILM 2015

keeper and her daughter as they attempt to avoid the authorities who aim to silence their ideas and personal expression. Salma Hayek and Liam Neeson star in this animated film that Hayek helped adapt from Gibran’s novel. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Diary of a teenage girl A teenage girl coming of age in 1970s San Francisco embraces her sexuality by beginning an affair with her mother’s boyfriend in this drama based on the novel by Phoebe Gloeckner. Star-

SAT, AUG 29

YELLOW DUBMARINE

irrational man In Woody Allen’s latest film, a n depressed college professor seeks meaning in his

txt Brian Feldman presents this interactive show in which he reads anonymous online messages sent from audience members every Sunday in 2015. Anything goes in terms of subject matter and profanity, so arrive with no expectations. American Poetry Museum. 716 Monroe St. #25. To December 27. $15-$20. (800) 8383006. txtshow.brownpapertickets.com.

execution but the combination of his training and being high allow him to outwit the people fighting against him at every turn. Nima Nourizadeh’s film reunites Jesse Eisenberg and Kristin Stewart, who also appeared in the 2009 dramedy Adventureland. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

FRI, AUG 28

out her family’s history. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

life. He considers killing a corrupt judge to find some peace but instead builds a relationship with a much younger student. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

ultra In this action comedy, a n ameriCan stoned government operative is targeted for

—TED METRAKAS, FILM FORWARD

agent 47 In order to find her long-lost n hitman: father, a woman pairs with an assassin and seeks

shear maDness Enjoy the record-breaking comedy whodunit that lets the audience spot the clues, question the suspects and solve the funniest murder mystery in the annals of crime, now celebrating 25 years at the Kennedy Center. Kennedy Center Theater Lab. 2700 F St. NW. To December 31. $48. 202-467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

FilM

—KENNETH TURAN, LOS ANGELES TIMES

ring Kristin Wiig, Bel Powley, and Alexander Skarsgård.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

gibran’s the prophet An exiled n kahlil artist attempts to return home with his house-

listen to me marlon This documentary uses never before heard audio recordings to tell the story of Marlon Brando’s career and life. Unlike a typical documentary, that uses talking heads to comment on the subject, this one just relies on archival audio and video.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the man from u.n.C.l.e. In this reimagining of the 1960s television series, a CIA agent and a KGB operative join forces to carry out a secret mission against an international crime organization. Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill star in this thrilling adventure adapted and directed by Guy Ritchie. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) This new documentary tells the story of n meru three passionate climbers determined to reach

SUN, AUG 30

NICKI BLUHM AND THE GRAMBLERS W/ ANDREW COMBS

BELIEVE IN THE IMPOSSIBLE A FILM BY JIMMY CHIN AND ELIZABETH CHAI VASARHELYI

SUN, SEPT 6

LOS LOBOS

musicboxfilms.com

merufilm.com facebook.com/musicboxfilms

© SOUTHPORT MUSIC BOX CORPORATION

STARTS FRIDAY, AUGUST 21

WASHINGTON, DC LANDMARK E STREET CINEMA 555 11th St NW (202) 783-9494

THEHAMILTONDC.COM

BETHESDA, MD LANDMARK BETHESDA ROW CINEMA 7235 Woodmont Ave (301) 652-7273

FAIRFAX, VA ANGELIKA AT MOSAIC 2911 District Ave (571) 512-3301 angelikafilmcenter.com

Filmmaker E. Chai Vasarhelyi IN PERSON SAT. 8/22 at Bethesda Row after the 4:00 show; at E Street after the 7:40 show

Find out what ToDo Today online.

40 august 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

CINEMA FROM THE STREET, PART 2 Since 2003, Street Sense has supported the homeless residents of D.C. with its eponymous newspaper, sold on street corners by vendors who are currently homeless or have experienced homelessness in the past.

As part of its new documentary initiative, two residents will share their stories in intimate films they directed on their own. In Raise to Rise, Sasha Williams shares her struggles with mental health disorders and records her daily life at the D.C. General shelter with her young daughter. As she tries to teach her daughter about the nicer things in life, like flowers and music, her film highlights the horrific shelter conditions they’re trying to escape. Cynthia Mewborn’s Whom Should I Be Grateful To? chronicles her journey out of homelessness and into a new, stable home of her own. She narrates her story standing outside the stoop where she used to set up her tent every day. These films might lack the polish of professional documentaries that regularly screen in town, but they more than make up for it in the power of their stories. The films show at 6:30 p.m. at Landmark E Street Cinema, 555 11th —Caroline Jones St. NW. $12. (202) 347-2006. streetsense.org.

the peak of India’s Mount Meru. Despite impossibly challenging conditions, wild storms, and countless setbacks, the group continues to fight for this singular goal. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) mistress ameriCa Tracy (Lola Kirke), a college n freshman in need of friends and excitement, finds what she’s looking for in Brooke (Greta Gerwig), her soon-to-be stepsister. But while Brooke’s life seems glamorous, it isn’t until the two women connect that they begin to acknowledge their own shortcomings.

Noah Baumbach directs this dark comedy that he cowrote with Gerwig. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) rosslyn outDoor film festival Every Friday night, just across the Key Bridge in Virginia, outdoor cinema takes the centerstage. This year’s LOL Fridays lineup includes; Wedding Crashers, Mean Girls, Happy Gilmore, Tommy Boy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, When Harry Met Sally, Anchorman, Clueless, The Big Lebowski, Austin Powers, The Hangover, Despicable Me, and Zoolander. Gateway Park. 1300 Lee Highway, Arlington. (703) 228-6525. rosslynva.org/events.

the university’s psychology building. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) straight outta Compton The story of pioneering rap group N.W.A. is told in this biopic starring Corey Hawkins, Jason Mitchell, and N.W.A. member Ice Cube’s son O’Shea Jackson Jr. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) ten thousanD saints A young man growing up in rural Vermont, reeling from the sudden death of his best friend, begins a new life in New York City, where he tries to reconnect with his estranged father and forms a friendship with the girl carrying his late friend’s child. Ethan Hawke, Asa Butterfield, and Emily Mortimer star in this drama based on the novel

by Eleanor Henderson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

n

STATE OF THE ARTS City Paper ’s Annual Fall Arts

and Entertainment Guide 2015 is coming September 17th!

Get your tickets sold and seats filled for the whole season!

AWE INSPIRING! It took my soul on a journey.

“

”

-VARIETY

MIRACULOUS!

“

A cinematic out-of-body experience!”

-INDIEWIRE

“

BURSTING WITH COLOR,” MOVEMENT AND ORIGINALITY! -THE NEW YORK TIMES

Contact us today to advertise in this special issue: 202-650-6943

unDerDogs A team of scrappy kids from the wrong side of the tracks take on a team of ritzy karate kids from Beverly Hills in this family comedy written and directed by Phillip Rhee. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)

we Come as frienDs This documentary by 2 Ciarán Foy directs this horror film n director n sinister Hubert Sauper looks at the bitter civil about a mother and her two young children who move into a house full of evil energy that’s determined to do them in. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the stanforD prison experienCe In this dramatized version of the well known psychology experiment, 24 students assume the roles of guards and prisoners in this trial executed in the basement of

n

war between North and South Sudan that led to the latter country’s eventual independence and the ways in which imperialism has evolved and taken form throughout the continent. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information)

Film clips are written by Caroline Jones.

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

SAVION GLOVER

Critics have been calling Savion Glover the best tap dancer of our time for so long that many have dropped the qualifying clause, simply declaring him the best tapper ever.

With just the rhythm he creates with his feet, Glover can stir deep emotions, a skill that’s most often ascribed to poetic pop musicians or ballerinas. Hoping to land a gig as a drummer, Glover was 7 years old when he walked into New York’s legendary Hines-Hatchett studio, and some of tap’s greatest legends redirected his rhythmic aims from music to dance. By 12, he’d made his debut on Broadway in The Tap Dance Kid and later brought black history to the stage in Bring in ’da Noise, Bring in ’da Funk.

Now, in hopes of keeping the art of tap alive for future generations, Glover continues to incorporate elements of history into his live performances. But he hasn’t given up on the more kidfriendly aspects of performing. Glover became known to many young people when he tapped out the alphabet during his four-year stint on Sesame Street and, more recently, created the movements for the dancing penguins in Happy Feet. Savion Glover performs at 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at the Howard Theatre, 620 T St. NW. $35–$55.

—Amrita Khalid (202) 803-2899. thehowardtheatre.com.

LIAM NEESON salma hayek JOHN KRASINSKI FRANK Langella ALFRED MOLINA QUVENZHANé WALLIS

KAHLIL GIBRAN’S

PROPHET THE

T H E P R O P H E T. C O M

STARTS FRIDAY, E STREET CINEMA AUGUST 21ST

LANDMARK THEATRES E STREET & 11TH STREET NW (202) 783-9494 WASHINGTON, DC

washingtoncitypaper.com august 21, 2015 41

X, AT

gt-

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, Adult Services REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY Gorgeous Asian offer sensuous full body massage.combiFIND YOUR OUTLET. & nation SPIRIT relaxing by soft magic FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT http://www.washingtoncitouch 9am-7pm appointment

ton-

Legals

LATÍN TS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS JuST WHAT YoU BeeN WAiTiNG FoR: Walk with me on the wild side, where fantasys becomes reality. I welcome First timers, Married men, and curious gentleman. discretion privacy confi dentiality he is my priority, FIND YOUR OUTLET. VIP Brenda, 571-275-5075. priRELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT vate location in Alexandria check my website, CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ http://brendagoddess.com/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

LEE MONTESSORI PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Project Management, Architect or General Contractor Services Lee Montessori Public Charter School, an approved 501(c)3 organization, is seeking proposals from qualifi ed firms to provide project management, architect, or general contractor services related to the development of a new facility. The specifi c facility has yet to be identifi ed, but may include the renovation or construction to a commercial or former public school facility. The project may be in partnership with Building Hope, the Charter School Incubator the Shaed School, FINDInitiative, YOUR OUTLET. LLC, or another development RELAX,The UNWIND, partner. method REPEAT of delivery CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ may include either design/build, construction manager at risk, or MIND, BODY & SPIRIT design/bid/build. Proposals are http://www.washingtondue no later than 12:00pm on September 9, 2015. The complete citypaper.com/ RFP can be obtained by contacting rfp@buildinghope.org. http://www.washingtPlease indicate which RFP you are oncitypaper.com/ requesting in the subject line.

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ UNWIND, http://www.washingtonREPEAT FIND YOURAdult OUTLET. Massage/ Moving? citypaper.com/ Stress Reduction RELAX, UNWIND, CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS Find A Helping Moving? REPEAT HEALTH/ HEALTH/MIND, BODY Find A Helping & SPIRIT Hand Today Moving?

MIND, BODY Today http://www.washingtonci& SPIRIT FIND YOUR Moving? typaper.com/ FindHand A Helping typaper.com/ only call 703-5874683 duke st.

Wanna good time! Sweet Japanese Asian model give you a relaxing session! Falls Church VA.in-out call.

571-253-1215

OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Out with the old, In

Hand Today

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

http://www.washingt-

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

withoncitypaper.com/ the new Post FREE TO LISTEN yourAND listing with REPLY TO ADS with the old, In Free Code: Washington City Out http://www.washingtWashington City Paperwithoncitypaper.com/ the new Post Paper Classifieds

day

e the ur

RELAX, UNWIND, CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS MIND, BODY & SPIRIT HEALTH/MIND, BODY http://www.washington& SPIRIT citypaper.com/

Adult Services

Sensual Body Rub for upscale gentlemen with discerning tastes. Discreet private Tyson’s Corner location. Mon-Fri 10am8pm weekend sessions avail (202)394-4462 www.washingtondcbodyrub.com

http://www.washingtFind A Helping Adult Phone oncitypaper.com/ Entertainment Hand Today

Curious About Men? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call 1-888-779-2789, www.guyspyvoice.com.

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Moving?

Out with the old, with the new Moving?

FindInPost AyourHelping listing with Washington Find A Helping City Paper Hand Today Classifieds http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Hand Today

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

GET ON TO Moving? GET OFF Find A http://www.washingtMoving? oncitypaper.com/

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

Helping Hand Washington: (202) 822-1666 FINDToday YOUR OUTLET. RELAX,

Moving? Find A Helping Today FIND Hand REAL GAY MEN NEAR YOU

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

Find A Helping Hand Today 202-448-0091

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Try it for free

Arlington:

Baltimore:

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ FIND YOUR OUTLET. MIND, BODY & SPIRIT Legals

Apartments for Rent

IND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, NWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS EALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS PINGHELPING HAND TODAY HAND TODAYBODY & SPIRIT HEALTH/MIND, City Paper Classifieds

Moving? Find A FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT Helping Hand Today CLASSIFIEDS Moving? Find A HEALTH/ BODY & SPIRIT Helping HandMIND, Today

FIND YOUR OUTLET. Out with the old, In with RELAX, the new Post your UNWIND, listing with Washington REPEAT Out with the old, In with City Paper Classifieds the new Post your CLASSIFIEDS listing with Washington HEALTH/ City Paper Classifieds MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Moving? Find A Helping Hand Today

Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for rent for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com GreatYOUR City living and conveFIND OUTLET. niently located to shopping and RELAX, only a 5 UNWIND, minute walk to the Petworth Metro.

All utilities included REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS in this 1 bedroom 1 bath apartHEALTH/MIND, BODYCAC ment in secure building,has and washer/dryer. Close Howard, & Trinity SPIRIT and Catholic university as

http://www.washingtonciwell as Washington, the Va and typaper.com/ Children Hospital. No pets and no

FIND YOUR Moving?

OUTLET. RELAX, Find A UNWIND, Moving?

Helping REPEAT FindCLASSIFIEDS AHand Helping Hand Today HEALTH/ Today MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

smoking. 439 Quincy Street, NW, Washington, DC. Call Ms. Charles 301-254-9471 jameelacharles@mris.com

Out with the Out old, In with with the the new Postthe your listing new Post your listing with Washington City with Washington City 42 August 21, 2015 washingtoncitypaper.com Paper Classifieds Paper Classifieds citypaper.com/

Moving? Find A old, In Hand with Helping Today

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

MOVING? FIND A

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com / http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com /

http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/

Washington Out with the old, In City Paper with the new Post Classifieds your listing with

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ http://www.washington-

General

RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

ROOM FOR RENT $480.00 PER MONTH. ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED. AROUND FLORIDA AVE NE DC. 202 368 2628 GCMANAGERS@AOL.COM

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Out with the old, InYOUR with FIND the new OUTLET. RELAX, Post your UNWIND, listing with Moving?

REPEAT Washington Find A Helping CLASSIFIEDS City HandPaper Today HEALTH/ Classifieds MIND, BODY

MOVING? MOVING? FIND A FIND A HELPING HELPING Out with the OutHAND with the old, In with HAND & SPIRIT old, In with the new the new Post your TODAY TODAY MOVING? OVING? FIND A FINDFIND Post your MOVING? A listingOUTLET. with RELAX, YOUR Washington listing with

UNWIND, REPEAT (703) 373-1000 (410) 468-4000 More local numbers:1-800-777-8000 Out with the CLASSIFIEDS www.megamates.com 18+ Ahora en Español/18+ www.guyspyvoice.com HEALTH/MIND, old, In with the BODY & SPIRIT new Post your FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, http://www.washingtlisting with oncitypaper.com/ UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS Washington City PaperHEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT tp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Classifiedshttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Accounting/Finance

*FOGGY BOTTOM*LGE PARTSr Financial Analyst - Asst in anaPUBLIC AUCTION Sept. 5, 2015 AIRLINE CAREERS begin here LY FURNISHED 2BR*2BATH*W/D lyzing domestic & global financial 10:30 AM start 7436 Old Alex – Get started by training as FAA KITCHEN*DINETTE*LV RM*BALinfo to forecast busn, industry, Ferry Road Clinton, MD Johnson certifi ed Aviation Technician. FiCONY *24/7 FRNT DESK*FIT RM & econ. conditions; gather & M&S will sell these lots of housenancial aid for qualifi ed students. http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ *$2900/MO + UTILITIES *ANNUanalyze co. financial stmts, inhold goods for fees due: Job placement assistance. Call AL LEASE *301.983.1977 dustry regs, econ info, fi nancial A. Carr, J.Jones, J.Jackson. J.WilAviation Institute of Maintenance periodicals; assess trends in busn son, C.White, N.Ritter, C.Robin800-725-1563 Quiet & Peaceful Furnished practices, products & competison, N.Kirby, S.Brown, P.Duvall, Master Bedroom National Harbor tion; Manage implementation of K. Elder, G. Green.

Government Positions Oxon Hill MD. Shr. Bath, Kit, Hse. Risk Mgmt Initiatives & pricing Rms &http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Patio W/D/Cable Close to policies; Develop reports & analHomes for Sale Metro Available Now! 202-746ysis info to manage growth/retain 9944 $650+Utils/SD. customers; Help in decision making regarding pricing & promotion Mt Pleasant, 1br, 1bath apt, initiatives; Financial reporting to $1200 plus utilities. Available LOOKING FOR A GOVERNvarious industry call reporting Sep1. See web for pictures, Text MENT JOB? sys; Report Fannie Mae, Freddie 202-255-7898 If so, you are probably frus“Golden Pond” Retreat!

Mac, & Ginnie Mae, & other institrated by the application This gorgeous, contempotutional investors’ loan lvl adjustprocess, right? I’m here to rary, custom-built home is the Roommates ments & pricing info. Bachelor’s help. Retired HR Director will finest waterfront value in the in Finance or Econ. or equiv. Exp develop a resume for you that area. Nestled among beauALL AREAS: ROOMMATES. in &/or knwldg of financial analis customized to the job you tifully landscaped gardens COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? ysis, http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ micro/macro economics, want and assist you through and a forested double-lot on Find the perfect roommate to secondary marketing, hedging the cumbersome process of quiet and pristine Lake Lariat, compliment your personality and & trading, Automation software, applying.

Lusby, MD, it affords privacy lifestyles at Roommates.com!

Excel, Access, SQL database. Job Contact me at JMAdvisoand direct access to a private Loc: Rockville, MD. Resumes to: rySvcs@gmail.com pier from the backyard. The WEI Mortgage Corporation Attn: Rooms for Rent Website: www.JMAdvisoperfect slice-of-paradise for W. Yuan 2010 Corporate Ridge, rySvcs.com fishing, boating, swimming #750 McLean, VA 22102 Capitol Hill - Furnished bedroom and all-around relaxation. with private bath in home with all Meticulously cared for and amenities. Share common rooms Beauty, Fashion & Miscellaneous maintained by the original, with professional female and 3 Modeling owner/builder. Click on link for well-behaved cats. Access to 2 Perry Street Prep solicits provirtualhttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ tour. Offered at $424, subway stops. Excellent situation Earn $500 A Day as posals for the following services: 900. Lender pre-approval or for interns. $995/mo. includes AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST Speech and Language Therapy proof-of-funds necessary for utils. Avail. Immediately. 202for: ads, TV, Film, fashion.

HD and Occupational Therapy viewing. MLS# CA8691347.

547-8095 & Digital 35% off tuition - One Call (410) 394-6533 for Week Course taught by top http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Please go to www.pspdc.org/bids Clean Spacious Rooms appointment. 641 Yosemite makeup artist & photographer. to view a full RFP offering, with Males Only Lane, Lusby, MD. http://youTrain & Build Portfolio. Models more detail on scope of work and Rhode Island Ave. Metro, tu.be/cbv70cMgTPQ provided. Accredited. A+ rated bidder requirements. cable,internet,w/d,2fullBRs,park http://www.washingtAwardMakeupSchool.com, 818$150/wk $350.00 sec.dep. oncitypaper.com/ Apartments for Rent 980-2119.

Proposals shall be received no $500.00 move in later than 5:00 P.M., Friday, Sep202-367-7003 tember 4, 2015.

Business Opportunities

Washington City Paper Classifieds

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Out with the old, http://www washingtIn with the new oncitypaper.com/ Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

FIND A HELPING HAND TODAY

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

Out with the old, In with the new Post your Make $1000 Weekly!! Mailing The William E. Doar Jr. Public listing Brochures From Home.with Helping Washington Charter School for the Performing home workers since 2001. Gen- Classifieds City Paper Arts solicits expressions of interuine Opportunity. No Experience est from Vendors providing occuRequired.

Start Immediately. http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ pational therapy services. www.theworkingcorner.com.

Construction/Labor PLASTERERS WANTED! DC & Baltimore Work Flat, Ornamental, & Acoustical Spray Plaster Must have own tools and transport.

Please call 410.462.0986 EOE

FIND YOUR OUTLET. Out with the RELAX, old, In with UNWIND, the new REPEAT Post your CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ listing with MIND, BODY Washington & SPIRIT City Paper

Proposals must be received by the school no later than 2:00 p.m. EST on September 4, 2015 unless otherwise stated in associated RFP’s.

Proposals should be emailed to bids@wedjschool.us Update your skills for a better job! Continuing Education at Community College at UDC has more than a thousand certifi ed online & affordable classes in nearly every fi eld. Education on your own. http://cc.udc.edu/continuing_education

Out with the old, In with the new RELAX, UNWIND, Post your REPEAT listing with CLASSIFIEDS Washington HEALTH/ MIND, BODY City Paper Classifieds & SPIRIT

FIND YOUR Classifieds OUTLET.

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

F R C M

h

M Hel

IF I SAY SO MYSELF

Restaurant/Hospitality/ Hotel

BY BrEndAn EMMEtt QuIgLEY 1

2

3

4

5

6

14

7

8

9

10

15 18

19

20

21

22

24

34

27

35

29

30

53

43

45

46

47

48

54

59

55

56

49

57

60

51

61

63

64

65

66

67

1 Filly catcher 6 Clay-like soil 10 Kind of party with strippers 14 “Thanks ___!”

15 “They have everything for young men to enjoy / You can hang out with all the boys” in song 16 Time out 17 Make money while apprising?

20 Infinitely bad 21 Oklahoma native 22 Keyboard finger exercise 23 Repeat the same story 25 Big name in cosmetics 26 Streaming royalty, perhaps?

33 Anime’s home 36 Square stuff 37 Lenore’s creator 38 Made a touchdown 39 Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck director Morgen 40 Chinese dynasty that ended in 1644 41 Bumped into 42 Sketchy download “attachment”

50

58

62

Across

32

40

42

44

31

37

39

41

52

28

36

38

13

25

26 33

12

16

17

23

11

43 Parliament stuff 44 Canonize Coleridge and Cummings?

47 Munchkin relative 48 Radio station format that plays not terribly challenging rock 52 Coral island 55 Internet connectivity problems 58 Instrument Julia Roberts played in high school 59 Appease Homer’s neighbor Ned? 62 Bear known to attack picnic baskets 63 “___ The Groove” 64 Thesaurus entries 65 WORP, e.g.

66 Proctored event, or proctologist’s event 67 Ready to move onto the next thing

Down 1 Friendless one 2 Up in the air 3 Didn’t participate, with “out” 4 Greets with a grin 5 Slob 6 Uber competitor

7 Melville novel whose title means “rover” 8 It might be a lot to build on 9 It can show you around town 10 Highland Bramble ingredient 11 Seitan alternative 12 In the thick of 13 Swinging barrier 18 “Fuck it, here goes nothing” attitude, briefly 19 Big name in toothbrushes 24 Assisted Living Unit pro, for short 25 Video game that involved searching for blue and red pages

27 Filmmaker Gilliam 28 Freeze over 29 Borgnine’s From Here to Eternity role 30 Friggin’ huge 31 Die (out) 32 Frat party essentials 33 Spot for a pull-up bar 34 On the safe side 35 Bread with baba ghanouj 39 George McFly tormentor 40 Once More ‘Round the Sun metal band 42 Hairlike projections in the intestinal wall 43 Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon’s ESPN show, for short 45 “Fess up!”

46 Anna’s sister in Frozen 49 Subject of the documentary Life Itself 50 Fiestas and Fusions 51 Like some divorces 52 Big name in organic frozen food 53 Trumpet sound 54 Actress Kurylenko 55 Canadian wildcat 56 Mennen skin conditioner 57 Latch (onto) 60 “Tsk, tsk,” old-style 61 Straight Outta Compton: The Story of ___

LAST WEEK: ATOP Z I T I I C O N P E O N S B O A I N L A G I L L G O W I U N E N Y T O B U S T A T H E S N O R K E P I

F W I W T W O C E N T S

V A L E N S H E A T R A Y

E R U P T D O E S O K

T E X T B O M U O N U T N Y T S E P K I E R S O

F O U R T H S

T A B L E T O P

O R A L S

T I M E

P A Y I O D J A N I I G N T O N N G S P E F A Y W R

A N A T E L N I N O

L A S S

NOW HIRING OUTGOING, ENERGETIC, AND EXCEPTIONALLY FRIENDLY Now Hiring Outgoing, Energetic, and Obnoxiously Friendly DANCERS, SERVERS, AND HOSTESSES for the Entertainment Industry!!!!

Must be a “go getter” with a “can do” attitude!!

All interested candidates please reply in an email with your contact info and a recent picture of yourself (No Nudity Please) to shannon@btf3.com. I will be contacting potential candidates for interviews this week to start immediately!

Security/Law Enforcement Planned Parenthood believes in the fundamental right of each individual, throughout the world, to manage his or her fertility, regardless of the individual’s income, marital status, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, national origin, or residence. We believe that respect and value for diversity in all aspects of our organization are essential to our well-being. We believe that reproductive self-determination must be voluntary and preserve the individual’s right to privacy. We further believe that such self-determination will contribute to an enhancement of the quality of life and strong family relationships.

Planned Parenthood Federation of America is seeking for a Front Desk Concierge in our Washington DC location, whose main responsibility will be managing the reception desk. The candidate must be experience in security management or a related fi eld.

The ideal candidate will be familiar with building evacuation plans, have local law enforcement contacts. He /she will possess certifi cation in CPR and AED, prepare incident/accident reports, and contact law enforcement on matters requiring assistance. Additionally, he/she will assist PPFA in securing confi dential records, documents and communications.

Planned Parenthood Federation of America is an equal employment opportunity employer and is committed to maintaining a non-discriminatory work environment.

Planned Parenthood of America does not discriminate against any employee or applicant for employment on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, marital status, sexual orientation, or any other characteristic protected by applicable law. Planned Parenthood Federation of America is committed to creating a dynamic work environment that values diversity and inclusion, respect http://www.washingtand integrity, customer focus, and oncitypaper.com/ innovation. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Tired of BS calls promising you a new website, #1 ranking on Google & doubling your business for less than the cost of a Starbucks Frappuccino? These telemarketers give people like us a bad name.

So we came up with a solution...

We’ll show your business clear results in advance of any payment, within 30min-1hr. on: SEO • PPC • Website • Video Marketing • Social Media • Content Marketing • Email Marketing • Mobile Marketing • Market/Competitor Research • Book Publishing • and Reputation Management • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • In advance for 100% FREE. If you see great results we can talk further. We are a team of #1 best selling authors in marketing & advertising and are also available to speak at events/conferences.We are only taking on 4 new accounts.

Call us ASAP at 202-438-9199 or www.mindgamemarketing.com

Insurance AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855-9779537

Home Services DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Call today and Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation!

CALL Now! 844-597-4481

Moving & Hauling

Bargains 4 Less Movers..

Local-Long-Distance-HourlyFlat Rates.. Free Moving Supplies..

Free Estimate..Licensed-Bonded Ins. Save your Back!! We take the pain out of moving!! 202 684 8151/ 443 552 6469 bargains4lessfurniture.com

Personal Services Get CABLE TV, INTERNET & PHONE with FREE HD Equipment and install for under $3 a day! Call Now! 855-602-6424

Clothing/Jewelry & Accessories Women’s Designers Suits, sizes 20, 22 and 24 for sale... almost new and some still have tags... $30.00 each OBO... for more information please call 301793-1196

ELECTRONICS DISH TV Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888992-1957

Miscellaneous

KILL BED BUGS! Harris Bed Bug Killers/KIT Available: Hardware Stores, Buy Online/Store: homedepot.com

Moving? Find A Helping Hand Today

Cars/Trucks/SUVs

Announcements

Cash For Cars Any Car/Truck.

Running or not! Top dollar paid.

We come to you. Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com.

Change the Redskins name campaign meeting Wednesday August 26th 7:30pm at Songbyrd Cafe 2475 18th St NW. Changethename.org Changethemascot.org Whiteskins.org etc. Unity coalition building https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR-tbOxlhvE

Announcements

KILL ROACHES - GUARANTEED! Buy Harris Roach Tablets. No Mess, Odorless, Long Lasting.

Available: Hardware Stores, The Home Depot, homedepot.com

W A G N E R

U D Z E I T

Computers

Mundo Verde Public Charter School In accordance with Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (“Title VI”), Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 (“Title IX”), Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (“Section 504”), Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (“ADA”), and the Age Discrimination Act of 1975 (“The Age Act”), applicants for admission and employment, students, parents, employees, sources of referral of applicants for admission and employment, and all unions or professional organizations holding collective bargaining or professional agreements with Mundo Verde PCS are hereby notifi ed that Mundo Verde PCS does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability in admission or access to, or treatment or employment in, its programs and activities.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture prohibits discrimination against its customers, employees, and applicants for employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability, sex, gender identity, religion, reprisal, and where applicable, political beliefs, marital status, familial or parental status, sexual orientation, or if all or part of an individual’s income is derived from any public assistance program, or protected genetic information in employment or in any program or activity conducted or funded by the Department. (Not all prohibited bases will apply to all programs and/or employment activities.)

If you wish to file a Civil Rights program complaint of discrimination, complete the USDA Program Discrimination Complaint Form, found online at: http://www.ascr. usda.gov/complaint_filing_cust. html, or at any USDA offi ce, or call (866) 632-9992 to request the form.

You may also write a letter containing all of the information requested in the form. Send your completed complaint form or letter to us by mail at U.S. Department of Agriculture, Director, Offi ce of Adjudication, 1400 Independence Avenue, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20250-9410, by fax (202)690-7442 or email at program.intake@usda.gov.

Individuals who are deaf, hard of hearing or have speech disabilities may contact USDA through http://www.washingtoncithe Federal Relay Service at (800) typaper.com/ 877-8339; or (800) 845-6136 (Spanish).

USDA is an equal opportunity provider and employer Also, the District of Columbia Human Rights Act, approved December 13, 1977 (DC Law 2-38; DC Offi cial Code §2-1402.11(2006), as amended) states the following: Pertinent section of DC Code § 2-1402.11: It shall be an unlawful discriminatory practice to do any of the following acts, wholly or partially for a discriminatory reason based upon the actual or perceived: race, color, religion, national origin, sex, age, marital status, personal appearance, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, family responsibilities, genetic information, disability, matriculation, or political affiliation of any individual. To file a complaint alleging discrimination on one of these bases, please contact the District of Columbia’s Offi ce of Human Rights at (202) 727-4559 or ohr@dc.gov.

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Events

NOW FREE TO THE PUBLIC 4kwalkrun.eventbrite.com donations optional SAT AUG 22 GREAT FALLS 9200 OLD DOMINION DRIVE MCLEAN VA 22102 7am12noon. 2.9 mile beginners nature path https://drive.google.com/ file/d/0Bzfws1G2jl-ZQi01TGlrdk56am8/view?pli=1

44kk wa walkrun.eventbrite.com l k r u n . e v e n tb rite . c o m snacks snacks m music usic gguest u e s t aappearancpp e ar a nc Great eess SSAT AT AAUG U G 2222 G r e a t FFalls alls PPark ark 99200 200 O Old ld D Dominion o minio n D Drr M Mclean cle a n VVaa 222102 2 10 2 77am-12noon. a m -12noon. AArrive r riv e eearly! arly !

LLLL BBean. e a n. TTrader r a d e r JJoe’s. o e’s. $$99

Comic Book & Sports Card Show Sunday August 23 10am-3pm at the Tysons Corner Virginia Crowne Plaza 1960 Chain Bridge Rd 22102 ( near the Silver Line Tysons Corner Metro stop) info: shoffpromotions.com

Volunteer Services Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, wacdtf@wacdtf.org.

Counseling Pregnant? Thinking of Adoption? Talk with a caring agency specializing matching BirthFIND YOURinOUTLET. mothers with Families NationRELAX, UNWIND, wide.

Living ExpensesREPEAT Paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One HEALTH/ True Gift AdopCLASSIFIEDS tions. 866-413-6293. Void in IlliMIND, BODY & SPIRIT nois/New Mexico/Indiana.

http://www.washingtonStruggling with DRUGS or ALcitypaper.com/

COHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674

Moving?

Find A Helping Moving?

Find A Helping Hand Today

Out with the old, In with the new Post Watch 3 Proven Profi t Methods www.videogreeting.net/tube.htmyour listing with ht tp://w w w.videogreeting.net / Washington City tube.htm Paper Classifieds

Health & Beauty Products

VIAGRA 100mg, CIALIS 20mg.

40 Pills + 4 FREE for only $99. #1 Male Enhancement! Discreet Shipping. Save $500. Buy the Blue Pill Now! 1-800-404-1271

Hand Today

Licensed Massage & Spas

Excellent Massage by beautiful therapists in Qi Spa. Swedish, Deep Tissue, Hot Stone massage. 3106 M OutNW, with the old, Street, Washington, DC 20007.

In with the new www.qispadc.com.

Appointment orPost walk-insyour welcome.

Ask for new listing therapist Special! 202with introductory Washington 333-6344.

City Paper

Heaven-On-Earth.

You’ve Classifieds tried the rest, now come to the http://www.washingtbest!

240-418-9530, Bethesda. oncitypaper.com/ MD Massage License #R00120.

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/

washingtoncitypaper.com August 21, 2015 43

FIN OU RE UN RE CL HE MI &S

http: oncit